Wednesdays - 103: Do I leave my husband for a man who says he loves me?

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

It's that time of the week again! Today we're sharing our thoughts on biting your other half's nails, complicated feelings for another man and... is he a broker after all? The highly anticipated job r...eveal!!The wine we're drinking is a Los Chañares Malbec.Rating: 8/10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:56 Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Melissa are you a doctor? I want to be but I'm not I'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists and we're not experts at anything in fact we just challenge all the shit and we love giving you guys advice
Starting point is 00:01:21 but as we said do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help ladies and gentlemen hello guys i just want to like pre-start this by saying i have oil on a hair mask in my hair i know i always do it's working though it's working it's growing like nobody's business do you put it in the roots just in the ends the roots i go with this like massage oh my god i know the one the tangle teaser thing is so good so good god this is 103 episodes sorry i've just seen that in the top have you seen that hundred and that is wild number three is also a bit of a lucky number
Starting point is 00:02:00 for me so hopefully this is the best episode we've ever done let's try and make it the best one we've ever done okay what three seems like a scary number eight's my lucky number mine's mine's just three because i was born on the third mine's eight because i chose it when i was eight years old sweet god there's no reason behind it being number three for me i'm like yeah i'm born on the third it's a lucky number also i know we need to talk about sophie's live show? Do we? Yes! Do we? Also, there was one part I got really emotional. Your dad,
Starting point is 00:02:27 guys, honestly, they haven't seen the live show, have they? Because none of it was recorded for them to see. Well,
Starting point is 00:02:33 maybe some of them were there, you never know. Sure, so if some of you guys were there, you'll know what I'm talking about. There was this one section where there was like video,
Starting point is 00:02:41 really sweet video clips of like family members like wishing Sophie and Jamie good luck on their wedding and like their marriage etc and Sophie's dad has such a way with words and he's such a like I think it was a quote oh yeah but it was beautiful he said as um Robin Williams said and then he quoted Robin Williams and I know it was just like so it made me like tear up like on the spot and I was like oh god it was so beautiful it was just like so it made me like tear up like on the spot and I was like oh god it was so beautiful it was just such a wonderful it was the perfect mix of like wholesomeness emotional and then really funny I thought the whole thing do you think I was so nervous that it wasn't going to
Starting point is 00:03:15 go down well but it did it was so good it was much better than I thought it was going to be and so he had the most phenomenal striptease but it wasn't too much well it felt a lot when he was there honestly his like sweaty body was all over me. I was like... So graphic. And the only thing that I think... I think it would have actually been maybe a bit weird to watch you just get a full-on lap dance.
Starting point is 00:03:35 But because Jamie was trying to copy him next to you, it made it so funny. Well, originally, it was just going to be five minutes of me getting a lap dance. No, no, that would have been weird. I just don't know if I can do that. I think that was a good call. I'm like slightly prudish in a way.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, ah! It was a good call because it would have been maybe a bit weird because it would have been like funny for the first 30 seconds then it would have been like five minutes of us just being like, okay,
Starting point is 00:03:55 yes, he's getting striptease. But because Jamie was next to you, also Jamie was actually trying really hard to like copy him. Jamie actually has like, yeah, he's got some moves somehow. They creep out of absolutely nowhere it was freaking amazing it was fantastic honestly anyone who did come thank you so much for coming and supporting firstly we'll talk about our wine oh yeah i Oh yeah, I love the bottle. Love the bottle. Tres cool. Los Chaneres, Melbeck, Mendoza, Ucu Valley.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Very cool. But we are tipping into the rosé season. I can't freaking wait for it. We're fully in it. Like we're submerged in rosé season. It's spring. You're right. But I think because it's been raining,
Starting point is 00:04:38 it hasn't really felt appropriate to be like, oh, let's have a lovely glass of rosé in the sun. But today it's sunny. Okay, but we'll have a little sippy sip. Yeah, let's have a sippy sip rosé in the sun but today it's sunny. Okay, but we'll have a little sippy sip. Yeah, let's have a sippy sip. Try it. Smell. Smells lovely.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Malbec is my favourite. That is actually really, really, really nice wine and the bottle's really cool. Yeah, that's really cool. Very arty. Shoreditch vibes
Starting point is 00:04:58 it's giving me, do you know what I mean? Like a really cool restaurant in Shoreditch, you'd have some tapas and you'd have that with it. Lovely. I don't know why
Starting point is 00:05:02 it's giving me that vibe. Definitely like a cool, kooky restaurant with small plates, small sharing plates. That's the me that vibe definitely like a cool kooky restaurant with small plates small sharing plates that's the vibe melissa presh can you tell me a bit about your weekend so i went to a really wholesome it's my first ever christening have you ever been to a christening before no i don't think i have neither and i was like what the hell do i wear so where was it it was in a little church and they like put some they do some like readings and they put some water over his little head and
Starting point is 00:05:23 like it was very sweet well no i've been, I've been christened myself. I actually haven't. Anyway, it was very sweet and very wholesome. And he was so well behaved. Well, then there was actually quite a lot of people there. I think there was like 40 people there. Wow. And then we went to this lovely pub and just had like a really nice three-course meal.
Starting point is 00:05:42 And there was some nice speeches. Stop it. It was like a little wedding was a very awesome and then the sun came it did kind of feel intimate wedding vibes it was kind of like that was so nice and the sun came out and everyone's having drinks outside this beautiful like country just for a bit of context this is toby's nephew yeah nephew's christening stunning and they give you a second birthday did you know that so you technically will have two birthdays the day you were born and then the day you were christened so your godparents should technically give you presents
Starting point is 00:06:07 on both occasions stop i think all my godparents are my aunties and uncles that's quite people do that quite a lot that's quite common quite good me as a godparent and honestly i don't think she's ever sent a gift to her godson i was also thinking how sick i don't know how mine you'll probably be my kids godparents yeah if i'm not i'll be fuming at least one of them yeah yeah so they could they had actually four godparents so they had two um girls and then two men but they weren't like couples it was just like so then they've got you have four godparents quite a lot yeah it's quite a lot it's quite lovely it's quite a weird thing having a godparent. I know. If I could name mine, I would, but I just don't know who mine are. Seriously?
Starting point is 00:06:49 Seriously, I don't. I think my uncle Johnny might be one of them. People, you're right, do the auntie and uncle thing quite a lot. It kind of makes sense. Yeah, easy. Stay in the family. Okay, guys. You know, we started a new thing called sweet or dry and essentially you guys
Starting point is 00:07:07 write in about x or whatever and we have to say what we think is sweet or dry so the first one is go on melissa you can start it off boys using the word i'm sorry i just read ahead i had a boy say to me on a night out does your tummy hurt when i had a little too much to drink and i swear to god it was haunted to me ever since i so know what you mean i know you're gonna think i'm mickey but i've been like oh bad time to be fair we say that to each other i say my tummy hurts all the time but if jamie said my tummy no no for me poorly poorly are you poorly girl poorly yeah i don't think i haven't heard the word poorly in ages so i do actually say i feel a bit poorly but i actually physically hate the world so much right we've got biting each other's nails
Starting point is 00:07:51 might drop sorry biting your own nails guys guys guys guys it is if anyone on this planet is biting your other half's nails then you really need to go and get like serious tapeworm check or something that can really get you unwell. Like that's not right. What the fuck? Why can't you bite your own nail? Don't bite any nail. No, just if you are going to bite your own nail, like needs mask.
Starting point is 00:08:14 I get it. You know, if you've got a hangnail or whatever. Sure. If you've got a hangnail, we'll let you off. I make you guys helpful physically sick. If Jamie, a nail that's dead skin. Is this a thing? Do people bite each other's nails? No, I'm picturing someone biting their toenail oh no no no no no no no but can i also just say
Starting point is 00:08:31 when i was young at the tapeworm thing my mum used to tell me to stop me from ever biting nails she'd be like you know when children bite their nails it means they're gonna get worms is that when worms come out your poop yeah that's fucking so it stopped me from ever doing it i was never a biter i was never and if i ever did it my mom once dipped me into this horror thing it tasted horrible and i was like i never did it really i was never a biter either i had i remember they went through a phase of like two months because i was like a girl someone that was older than me that was doing it and i thought they were cool and i was like i need to try i need to give it a go it's so hard to put your own nails no i remember mine was exactly the same what she used to, there was an old guy sat at us
Starting point is 00:09:05 and I was like, her nails look really good. It's a habit that must be stopped, team. It's not good. If I do each other's nails, you're absolutely, that is the biggest dry I've ever found in my life.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Yeah, that's not dry. Tummy could be quite sweet. I don't, I'm not, I'm not overly offended. If a boy I don't know wear a ball goes, oh, if you've got bad tummy, that's dry. If Toby went, ow, my tummy hurts, you're not going're not gonna go oh you make me sick yeah if jamie's like
Starting point is 00:09:29 ah my tummy i would be you know what i'm not so we're gonna vote sweet or dry okay sweet for the tummy biting each other's nails beyond dry it's absolutely cracking in this horror it's corked at that point he buys me food not flowers because it's useful oh that's great i hate flowers know I love flowers, but I also think sometimes they are a bit of a waste of money. Because I'm like, very often I'll spend a lot of money on flowers and they die within two days. Oh, they're just such a mess to put them in the vase. It really bothers me. Also, when they go off, they stink. Okay, so we're going with sweet with the food one, because Stephanie bought me like food over flowers.
Starting point is 00:10:00 I'm happy with that. 100%. If I'm hungry and Jamie came out with flowers, I'd be like, dad. Yeah, that's not really tickling my pick up. Wealth Simple's Big Winter Bundle is our best match offer yet. Get a 2% match when you transfer over an eligible RRSP.
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Starting point is 00:10:36 wealthsimple.com slash match. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out. Complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. Dilemmas.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Should I read this one out? Okay, dilemma one. Hello from Melbourne. Oh my God, sick. Hello. International across the board. Oh, should we try it? Hi, I am from board. Do you know an Australian accent? Oh, should we try it? Hi, I am from Melbourne.
Starting point is 00:11:28 Do you know? I don't think... Stick a fork in me, I'm done. What the fuck? No, no, no, that's Irish. No, no, I'm not joking. I feel hot under the collar. That is really out of the question.
Starting point is 00:11:38 There's also a really good Irish accent. What the fuck? Also, don't be shy. Maybe we should save the accent. No, you don't be shy. Maybe we should save the accent. No, you don't be shy. Okay, right, hold on. G'day, mate. Oh, quite good.
Starting point is 00:11:50 G'day. Hold on, hold on. G'day, mate. What if they say, how you going? How you going? They don't say, how are you doing?
Starting point is 00:11:55 They say, how you going? I love an Australian accent. I wish I could do it well. So I have been with my husband for eight years, married for two. Oh my God, incredible. We have been super happy
Starting point is 00:12:04 and no real issues. Last November, i went overseas to an accreditation course this course changed me in more ways than one my mindset towards my career has changed and i have become a lot more confident focused and driven to achieve my dreams this is something i am super proud of incredible when she's saying she feels different do we think maybe she's feeling like differently towards her husband her goals aren't matching up with his oh god maybe she's like growing him grown out of him that does happen yeah it does it's like when people go traveling so your perspective on life seems to have changed the other way that i have changed the day after the course one of the guys started texting me and we've been talking every single day since oh no shit this is going in a dangerous direction
Starting point is 00:12:42 it moved on from texting to video calls almost every day oh no he fully pursued me made all the effort and got on got to the point where he was saying he loves me for a long time i try to be distant but i feel it too he is also planning on coming to see me later in the year when he has a break from his work commitments shit shit they're on like a high because they've just done this thing together they've experienced looking at a new way of life together had this experience she's kind of like boring life back at home yeah don't want to slip at eight years and now you've got this new perspective on life and he's like he's got the same perspective on life now and like your goals are probably the same and you've like again i want to know what the job was shit why does it always come down to the
Starting point is 00:13:23 job this guy is also married he lives in the middle east and his wife was living in another Again, I want to know what the job was. Shit. Why does it always come down to the job? This guy is also married. He lives in the Middle East and his wife was living in another country. She's just moved back with him and now he's hardly speaking to me, but still does make an effort every day, even though I have had a major freak out and almost tried to make him end it. The amount that I am missing him makes me realise I really do have feelings for him. Oh no, guys, I'm not there. Shit guys this is getting this is just getting up my husband has absolutely no idea of any of this how the hell do people this just scares me that people can live double lives do you think
Starting point is 00:13:54 she's got a second phone i've been really slowly realizing that that i feel i need more in my relationship more intimacy we were trying for a baby which has now stopped because it wasn't happening dot dot where he hardly wanted to have sex oh no so there's obviously gaps in your current marriage right and now you're like maybe feeling it with the other person my husband is the only man i have been with since i was a teenager i don't know anything else i'm starting to feel like i missed out on my 20s and i want to explore other things i'm so confused i'm so angry and disappointed in myself i don't have any girlfriends to talk to about this i haven't been able to tell anyone and that I want to explore other things. I'm so confused. I'm so angry and disappointed in myself.
Starting point is 00:14:27 I don't have any girlfriends to talk to about this. I haven't been able to tell anyone. Advice, please. Right. I feel for you a lot. This is an honest, tricky situation. You haven't done anything wrong so far either. This is all just... Well, no, you are.
Starting point is 00:14:39 I'm going to be blunt with you. You are. You shouldn't be calling some other guy who's, you know, saying that he loves you, you know. You're having an emotional relationship, an affair. Like, it's not your fault. Love is love. You know, you can't help what you fall in love with.
Starting point is 00:14:54 But I do think that you owe it to your husband to even, I think you ought to break up. If you're in love with someone else, then I do think that you probably need to break up with the husband. You're right. But then he's also married. Like he also gonna leave his wife you know what this does happen quite a lot yeah you it's like it's always in work thank god we don't have like office jobs where jamie be like hanging out some office yeah every day falling in love with
Starting point is 00:15:16 someone no thank you um no i think if you're really in love i think regardless to the new guy in your life i think that maybe it's opened up your mind into thinking, well, actually, maybe I'm not in love with the person I'm married to. It seems to be bigger than speaking to this guy every day because, do you know what I mean? Yeah, but there also is the point where she went away. She was like, fuck, this is so exciting. You know, I'm free. I'm liberated. I feel like she obviously felt like, you know, a massive empowerment.
Starting point is 00:15:44 She met this guy. He gave her attention. she wasn't getting attention from him because she was not near him yeah and she might just be like caught up in the whirlwind of like the fantasy yeah actually the grass may not be greener the grass may not be greener but then I also feel like you're having a bit of the whole I've I've been with you since my since I was a teenager I've missed out on my do you know what I mean my 20s I've never explored you since I was a teenager. I've missed out on my, do you know what I mean? My 20s, I've never explored anything. This happens to people quite a lot. Sometimes people don't feel the need to explore, but the fact that you're feeling the need to explore and do that,
Starting point is 00:16:14 as well as being like, I also might be in love with this other guy. There's almost two avenues you're going down here. My advice would be to stop talking to the guy in the Middle East. Give it two months. Two months months no conversation yeah you try for your marriage you fell in love with this guy for a reason marriage is absolutely so hard every relationship is remember why you fell in love with him stop talking to the other guy if in two months you literally are is two months long enough well i think you need to maybe
Starting point is 00:16:41 get over the other guy and then focus on the on your marriage and see if it's actually the marriage that's a problem and the person you're married to or if it is that you're still in love the other guy because sometimes we get confused and when we have a lot of choice as humans it's very hard for us we don't like having lots of choice no we shouldn't be given we shouldn't be given choice because we're only human and we're selfish yeah yeah so I think that we need to just think like is it that my marriage isn't right or am I just excited by the thrill
Starting point is 00:17:08 yeah it's a thrill exactly I think there's two things going on here so I think you need to focus on your marriage and decide like is this what I want
Starting point is 00:17:14 and if not then you start again and work on yourself and whatever but I don't think that it's right to keep having this emotional affair
Starting point is 00:17:22 you've got to cut ties you've got to block him you've got to tell him please don't speak to me anymore it's not fair for him you can't see him when he comes over no you just you need your marriage you're committed to this guy you owe him and yourself and the relationship and the eight years you spent of your life with him to give your eight years it's a long time so long people fall in and out of love a lot and it's just part of like life and marriage and whatever yeah and then you fall back in love yeah yeah you just have ups and downs i really really would advise you to stop talking to the other guy you just have to focus you're
Starting point is 00:17:56 not gonna be in your current relationship and be giving it your all if you're still having exactly yeah i'm sorry you're going through that that is really tough though i do feel for you the same that would be horrible okay dilemma two so last weekend i thought i needed a big change and cut all my hair off i'm not taking talking a lob or just a few layers i'm talking full-on cuts cutsy brock pixie cut that's your spoonerism whatever it is that is my spoonerism coming out full frontal okay i'm talking full on pixie cut i love a pixie cut i love who's recently done a pixie cut like a really short really short you know like alice in them twilight oh oh i know i know um um j's daughter. She had a pixie cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gorgeous.
Starting point is 00:18:46 I've never had short hair before, and a weekend, I still feel awful. I don't feel feminine at all, and it's really impacting my confidence. I was growing out my hair colour at the time too, so now the colour just looks patchy. My head is actually shaved at the back and around my ears. I've cried so much over this.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Oh, no. I know it's just hair, and it will grow back, but long hair has always been my thing. I've told so much over this oh no I know it's just hair and it will grow back but long hair has always been my thing I've told my family that I love love it to try and put on a brave face any tips on how to feel good about myself now I've done something so stupid but do you know what the most beautiful thing about anyone is happiness and love and confidence and being kind so firstly always remember that I know it's hard because I definitely don't, but you have to. I know what it's like when you've done something like, even when my hair's been cut a bit, like even Sophie's hair.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Yeah, I'm wearing hair masks every single day. She was freaking out about it for like a week and like, it wasn't even that dramatic. So we can very much so sympathize with you that this is like something that affects people more than it, I guess, than it should. But also hair is a big part of our identity. It actually is. But then you should rock this and be like, do you know what?
Starting point is 00:19:46 This is a new era. I made this decision. Also, I bet it looks fucking gorgeous. I bet it looks so sick. And you know about the colour? Why not go dye that? You've made a huge change anyway. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Go change your colour. If you're trying to grow out the colour, I think because you've cut it short, good decision. You've got a fresh start here. Yeah, but if it's patchy, just like dye it. Maybe dye it the colour that you're trying to go back to so your natural color so it's all one lovely color get
Starting point is 00:20:09 it to a nice healthy condition mask mask mask whenever you're not going out also i would get some inspirations i would go on pinterest and type in pixie cuts or celebs with pixie cuts see how they style it i also think look at like find out what else you love about yourself is it your eyes is it your nose is it your eyes is it your nose is it your lips is it your cheeks is it your arms your legs and like just that's your ups yeah you know is that right i think it also usp ups delivery that is probably just a case of you getting used to it i honestly think give it a month and you'll be like oh it's fine also your hair will grow probably quicker than you think take some jazz health hair and vitamins oh yeah so good do some good hair
Starting point is 00:20:48 massaging what i've been doing hair mask do the thing like aloe vera in the roots is also very good for growing out your hair but also embrace it like laugh about it with your friends don't put on a brave face be like guys i fucking hate my hair and laugh about it and then you'll feel better like why you have to put on a brave face i kind of regret it but i know it will grow back yeah and they'll all be they'll reassure you because i honestly think it will look epic i wish i could do a pixie cut i know it's kind of making you want to do it there's a part of me there's there's a hairstyle and there's actually someone made a meme out of it and there's this girl with really long hair thick gorgeous long hair and then a girl with quite short it's like a bob and it's like the battle i have between these two hairstyles daily like should i just cut my hair off and like have like
Starting point is 00:21:28 a really cool bob or do i just keep it really i think us as girls like go through that quite a lot i'm always like maybe i should just cut it all off and have a bob then i'm like no not yet i'm too scared i'm too scared but one day i will fucking do it do you know what it's just a change it's just a haircut i promise and also you know what when your hair gets to a certain length you can get bloody hair extensions so when it gets to a certain length you can get bloody hair extensions so when it gets to bob length you can then get some hair extensions so it's just at the top of your shoulder
Starting point is 00:21:49 but when you get a bob you could make it into a really sexy sorry there's so much you can do honestly I think embrace it you've done it now let's embrace it and make the most of it
Starting point is 00:21:56 make the most of it and I do think if the patchy colour's freaking you out go to a lovely hairdresser and be like look I don't want to damage it I want it to get back to this colour
Starting point is 00:22:04 what do you suggest just yeah and work out different ways to style it you know and get some inspiration get on that pinterest make a pinterest board honestly I honestly think you'll look beautiful and pixie cut you I imagine it makes all your features on your face yeah it really does yeah just embrace it honestly people be looking at you being like oh god maybe I should get one and you'll suddenly start seeing all your friends get one. Also quite nice and different. Everyone's got long hair. Yeah, a bit boring.
Starting point is 00:22:29 I agree. And you know what? It's probably what, five months max out of your life? Yeah. Lovely. Right, dilemma three. A boy struggling with dating apps. This is a boy that's written into our sweetness.
Starting point is 00:22:40 I need some help with dating apps. I match a lot with attractive women on tinder and hinge and this gives me a nice confidence boost however when i try to message i don't often get a response does this mean i have rubbish chat or do you think it's someone something deeper what is it it's quite it is it is hard because i actually think we're all actually quite harsh and we're all like no before we've given people a chance. No, don't lie. No, it is just the way that it is. But I think that at some point, like someone will appreciate your chat
Starting point is 00:23:08 and like they will respond. They've liked you. There is a reason for that. Own it, back yourself, confidence is key. Yeah, I agree. I also think there's something to be said for just keeping it simple. Like people try and have these like really funny,
Starting point is 00:23:20 like initial, like first messages. What's wrong with, hey, how are you? Or do you know what? They might actually not be on Hinge that much. So why don't you follow them on insta and slide into their dms good shout a lot of people probably have hinge as you write just on their apps and they don't even go on it maybe when they're drunk maybe they just swipe yeah yeah yeah and then they forget about it the next day yeah also there might be something to be said for they might be speaking to somebody else on the app that they're really interested in they've gone on a few dates with so they might be almost a bit taken so don't get
Starting point is 00:23:47 offended if they're not replying you know it might not be because your chat's not good i don't think that that's it i've really because they wouldn't have matched with you if you don't think you were attractive yeah so don't i think just persevere and don't overthink don't overthink don't get yourself down female girls you probably message boys oh god yeah just don't overthink. Don't overthink. Don't get yourself down. Female girls, you probably message boys. Oh, God, yeah. They just don't get a response. Have you had any? You didn't have? I've never had those apps because I've always been in a relationship.
Starting point is 00:24:09 I got no response when I sent that waving hand emoji on the DMs. That was my really cool input. That was a really gutting experience. But it got deleted. He's also friends with Tobias. I see him quite a lot. Like, photos of him. Someone else was with him the other day and I was like...
Starting point is 00:24:24 It's also the fact that we sent both of them. Also, they're still fucking gone. What do you mean we sent them at the same time? You know we sent one and then it disappeared, then we sent another one and then it disappeared as well. No, I think that's Instagram deleting it. He may have blocked you or something. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:24:37 Maybe he had a girlfriend at the time and she was like, delete, delete, delete. I don't think you can delete someone's message that they've sent. It's almost like the universe was going nope no melissa no yeah there's also my shit chat saying send a waving is that bad guys yeah but you know what we know that we don't have that much you know practice in the single life and the sliding in life it's a hard it's a hard world out there guys can you actually write into us what your best like chat up line yeah chat up line or like a slide in is all those things what is your worst yeah and also what are those things you know on hinge you have to like write like a saying can you put send us what your funny prompts are yes
Starting point is 00:25:15 send us send us the prompts so we can give you guys inspiration yeah okay good if you're on we can help each other out not the way nothing serious i like something quite chilled something chilled something a little bit funny but also not trying too hard it's too complicated you know when you're stood staring at something like what does this mean like i'm like trying to work out the joke i don't want to be working out a joke i think somebody had on their hinge profile my dream is to have a relationship like sophie and jamie sweet little do they know, Jase. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Oh my God. I've just seen the next thing. I can't. I'm so excited. Right, this is your reading out and I'm really excited. Wait, I'm reading this one out. Okay, right. Okay, this is a follow-up.
Starting point is 00:25:55 I actually can't swallow it. I'm actually fully grinning. I'm salivating. Do you remember when we thought the guy was a broker? The girl's boyfriend had a new job and then he was like being weird with her. All his friends got this job and they kept breaking up five separate couples had broken up we have the
Starting point is 00:26:08 job reveal here we go i actually can't breathe loads of people agreeing potentially recruitment or a broker but there was something we hadn't thought of which was what you guys had suggested but we had a follow-up from the girl and the job is emergency services. And actually quite a few of you have like written in to tell us when you're in the emergency services, you sort of like, I guess, form different like bonds with your colleagues as such. You've all sort of experienced things that probably not. No one else can really relate to.
Starting point is 00:26:38 And then I guess it just becomes like your world and then whatever's going home feels very separate and you almost maybe feel like you don't connect to them. Maybe that's why, I don't know. seems to be the what we're getting from you guys on it right the follow-up okay val is dun dun dun he has been making more of an effort with me recently we've been having dinners with each other when we can as we are both shift workers but i'm still not sure how he feels about the situation he went on a night out with his group his work group the other day i didn't hear from him all night. No contact whatsoever. I got a message from him the next morning at 8am saying,
Starting point is 00:27:10 hey, sorry, I was out all night. Apparently he ended up back at a girl's house with a few other guys and slept over. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm out. Already I'm out. What the hell? The shift workers you would think are just really great guys she then dropped into his car this morning no all before i received a single message from him i was in complete defense mode thinking here we go this is where it starts i'm beginning to feel as if i should just let this all play out and wait and see i feel like he's an honest person but it's just so hard to drown out the gut feeling of something happening purely because all my friends history and not feeling sure
Starting point is 00:27:48 if he considers me end game too right fuck this fuck this he cannot my boyfriend sleeping at another boy's house you're joking no are you fucking joking you're joking and then she drops him off in the morning that means there's so much more to life I would like be calling Jamie
Starting point is 00:28:03 70 times a week I would fucking find my friends and drive there oh my god you need to get him and find my friends hon no i think you need to just get out this is just not good and you deserve way fucking better fuck that shit i'm really sorry now if it played wait see if it plays out because she's just wanting him to almost it seems like he's gonna admit it at some point i feel i don't think this is acceptable and it's probably I'm too psycho for this but you could look at it as and he's excited about his new job met all these new people you know he's hanging out with them wants to make a good impression from maybe a more sensible point of view or more of an adult's point of view you should just sit
Starting point is 00:28:39 him down and be like look I feel x y and z I don't think you've been making an effort and then this night out thing like you've really, like, obviously my gut and my head are going to certain places and I actually just need to really hear it from you because I'm not willing to be in a relationship where you do go out all night, stay at another girl's house and I don't hear from you the next day.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Like, that's not the type of relationship I want to be in. Word for word, I'd literally say that. And just see what, yeah, don't, you know, don't pack your bags and be like, see ya. Sit down and just be honest with him. Be like, look, something's up
Starting point is 00:29:03 and I, you know, this is not what I want. Yeah. I would literally sit him down and say be honest with him be like look something's up and i you know this isn't a relationship i want yeah i would literally sit him down and say exactly what melissa and then if he like absolutely sketchy i'd be like can i see your phone then like why are you so weird that's what i would do i'd be like look something's up i've got a gut feeling if you want to reassure me just maybe i'm crazy i need a bit of proof now because you've actually done things that have and be like i never stay at a boy's house i would never do do that. That's what I would say. God, I'm really getting into character. You'd want to go back to that. Surely you want to go back to your partner
Starting point is 00:29:28 at the end of the night. You're boozy. You're like, oh, you know, three in the morning. Let me get home to my girlfriend. Yeah. Or you call them like, hey, I'm just staying the night here. You send a picture.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Like, I don't know. I would be like, if I was on the sofa, I'd be like, hey. At home as well, there's charges there, hun. Also, you just get in a fucking taxi and go home. Why do you sleep there? No. No. No, I want to give them I was on the sofa, I'd be like, hey. At home as well, there's charges there, hun. Also, you just get in a fucking taxi and go home. Why do you sleep there? No. No.
Starting point is 00:29:47 No, I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but definitely conversations to be had. Please follow up with us. Please, please, please do. And just remember you're great. We're on your side. Everything happens for a reason. Yep.
Starting point is 00:29:59 That wine, right. I really, really, really, really liked having to give it an eight. I feel like we're so freaking generous with the wine ratings these days i'm gonna give that an eight it was so delicious it was genuinely really smooth it went straight down and gave me a warm warm feeling yeah you know when it like goes to your butt it travels just anyone else have this it travels to my bones and i can feel it like in my wrists probably not a good sign but like i really like that feeling when i have a couple of sips of the old red wine please can you keep up
Starting point is 00:30:26 with the follow ups because they give me joy, life and happiness they bring life to my week when I go out for a girls dinner I tell them all they followed up with this, this and this
Starting point is 00:30:34 I'm so we're so invested guys I almost want your photos oh please send pictures in as well for like references of like what guys want that
Starting point is 00:30:41 and then if we ever meet each other or bump into each other we can be like that would be unreal okay we love you guys bye guys love you so much We'll be right back. Riding Live Dealer Studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly.
Starting point is 00:31:40 That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens well then tinies we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio

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