Wednesdays - 108: The London wedding, flatmate wars and spicy semen!

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

We're finally catching up about the London wedding! What Sophie got up to the day before, dress drama and aaaallll the tears. Plus, strap in for some EXTRA juicy dilemmas... Is this a police matter?!P.S. Sophie's hen hangover meant a big no to alcohol, so we're off the wine for this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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you guys advice but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help hello sisters morning oh no morning morning i am i've lost my voice and i feel you haven't your voice is fine i'm actually really shocked that's come back guys it was it went at tiff's hand as well it must be a hen thing can't wait for it to go again at izzy's hand oh golly gosh it came back you were in the morning fine it's a bit croaky now a little bit but you were like talking it was like a pit you were trying to order yourself a drink and it was like can i have a margarita and it was like there was loud noise and everyone was like i'll order for her she's just singing at the top

of her lungs all day long as you should singing was i saying what we were singing we were singing on the first day a lot in the tax in the limo. That would have worn out the voices it was. Then we were out clubbing. We were probably singing then as well. Shouting over loud music to try and have conversations with each other. I also just don't think a drop of water touched my lips for the whole weekend. Yeah, neither. Right. We need to just quickly just say to you, we've obviously been in the hen.

We've also just had Sophie's wedding. So we need to debrief on both bits. Oh, have we not debriefed on London wedding? We're going to do the London wedding today. Let's talk through the usual cost of your routine from starting off at four seasons oh okay so basically had a situation where my hair couldn't be done until the day yeah the dye the oh shit because I booked it I booked yeah I crammed I crammed a lot well we know there was not much crap going on from this disorganized hold on you saw Alexi the day of your wedding or the day before the day of no the day before the day before the day before but at like 4 p.m yeah and my mom was

landing at the four seasons yes 4 30 and dinner with my dad and his girlfriend was at 5.30. Wow. Scrammed in. And I went and saw Alexi at 3. Well, actually, no. I tell a lie. I went. My appointment was at 2. But Jamie decided to sneak in. And did he want to have my appointment? Yes, he did.

To be fair, he needed it. His hair looked so much better afterwards. I know. I've been telling him. Alexi, the king of blonde. He is the king of blonde. Yeah. Harrison's Alexi.

Just a great guy. So I booked my hair in on Bank Holiday, Easter Bank Holiday Monday, thing stunning, you know, got to be lovely. He calls me, he's like, you've booked in for Easter Bank Holiday Monday. I was like, perfect.

What are we going to do? I must get it done. It looks like I've got really, really dark roots. I was on to see Melissa's colour, wasn't I? Yeah, you were. Guys, I'm not sure if you could have seen on the podcast videos I remember saying to Sophie like what's happening that's because I had a hair mask in every podcast no it wasn't the half and half down half up half down it wasn't yeah because it was straight back you just see the roots no I still

had a hair mask in every single day because remember I had that really short haircut which is growing back perfectly now hasn't it no I told you so i got in with alexi i went to get my hair done i didn't get a spay tan the voice is going a bit scoot scoot scoot she off off she goes home packed my bag honestly four seasons three big suitcases get home lug them into a taxi go to four seasons my mom's there and this is a traditional night before the night before the wedding you spent alone yeah yeah didn't want to spend it with jamie the four seasons very kindly gifted me a sweet and my mom and my sister a sweet that must have been so far it was so special that must have been a really special evening and i had a little cake with nearly wads on it oh gorgeous i know

and like a full a mirror with all the lights on you know yeah perfect oh my god that's what all those lovely photographs these stunning black and white iconic photos of you and the okay so yeah get to the four seasons go have dinner my dad's late so we had dinner late I was freaking out I was like it's 9pm I need to go to bed yeah couldn't sleep till 4am I honestly watch Chucky or Chupa on Netflix that new movie

oh it's really really good with a little crazy animal I've never heard of it so she's watching movies like Brilliant Perfect

right before I went in and then like at 2.30 I was like I must have a rescue remedy in my bag somewhere to help me sleep calm me down

it reminds me of taking rescue before my school exams to calm me sleep calm me down it reminds me of taking taking rescue before my school exams to calm me down it really works it works so well couldn't find one finally slept i was literally upside down when i woke up i was like where the hell am i 7 a.m my sister and my mom come into my room they got another room i was in this big lovely bed on my own it was lovely they come in the hairstylist came we were all getting ready very lovely we had a prosecco champagne bucksfizz was so nervous i couldn't speak i was shaking in my boots and then we tried on the dress and um oh it didn't go out with the dress didn't zip up and i'm telling you now

i've not gained weight so that the dress. The zip must have been. Have you tried it on before? You have tried it on before. Yeah, very strange. Well, I think it was a sample dress because there's none left. So they gave me the sample. Paid full price for it. It looked 10 out of 10.

I wouldn't worry about it. And no one would have known that it didn't do up. Because I don't know what Georgia did. She sewed me in. She sewed me in. And then, yeah. And then off I went. Off I went she um was obviously

turned out i mean you guys would have seen the photographs it was a very magical moment but when i say i was so nervous like i've never been that nervous in my life i was literally shaking i was like you weren't you couldn't see that you were shaking i've been to weddings before i can literally see the bride's when i was in i was fine it was the waiting behind the door when i did oh that was a big i was nervous i think everyone was a bit nervous for you I don't know why and then you could see that Jamie was like pacing up and down at the front it was so sweet but then you came out and it was very special very funny it was a really special lovely half an hour it was quite quick yeah yeah no I really could not bear a long one that was awful and then the rain stopped guys the rain stopped but we were

for when safety came out freezing we went for lunch yeah went for lunch very drunk very lovely oh it's like you know you take a sip from your glass and it's just filled straight back up like there wasn't a moment that my glass wasn't full to the very brim it was wonderful it was honestly just the best day and so in case you haven't listened to nearly as and if you don't you need to i have been crippled with anxiety and the minute i got married everything just went it was all gone it's all gone i think jamie's now more anxious he's like what the fuck have i done stop this but you know what i guess from an organization point of view now maybe he's stressed he's like oh the wedding it's hosting a big party

you want it all to go right it's a different kind of maybe like stress and anticipation that's what he's feeling as far as you would like i'm just so stressed about getting married and you're like oh it's not i'm not stressed about getting married just stressed about the whole thing whereas now i'm like yeah the whole thing was just overwhelming yeah i don't know sunrise and now it's just done now it's just done but Now it's just done. But you do then have the big organization. It's not the big party now, which is you're looking forward to it

because you're like, I'm just going to let loose and have fun. Yeah, and that's more private. Whereas this, bloody hell, we walked out of the church. It was honestly like a parade of people. Yeah, it was actually quite a lot. Yeah, I felt honestly,

I was like, wow. But the moment, it was just that little walk. It was just that little walk from the thing into where we had lunch and then it stopped beaten this it was just that little walk from the thing into where we had lunch and then it stopped and then it was lovely

and then there was Sophie did this magical little poem speech I did a poem which I will probably read everyone cried everyone shared a tear with that for sure

did you yes not Emily we both we were sat next to each other we both cried oh you yeah I thought you were

I cried everything I also like honestly was quivering my boots I was like please can we just sit down so I can read this bloody book oh god and then she started blessed and then we had to stop her she had to go again and we were like for fuck's sake I cried so much I cried in the ceremony oh my god you did quote towards the end of the poem that really got me when your voice went and I was like oh yeah it was it was a really lovely lovely day it was just gorgeous the whole thing yeah and there were. And then I couldn't get my dress off because it was so dim.

So I slept in it. Bearing in mind it was a corset. So when I say it was, I honestly think I've got two broken ribs cutting into me. I can't. And then we had to cut it with scissors the next morning. That is just so upsetting. So upsetting. But I mean, when was I ever going to wear it again?

What can you do? You can get it repaired. I mean, it's not like you're going to be wearing the same dress anytime soon could dye another color and wear it again you could just wear that as a summary like a very formal dress i don't know how maybe take get the bottom bit taken off yeah and also jamie was really kind of shook he thought i was like a whole bride he was like why are you wearing a short dress i was like it's a registry office guys to wear like a full ball gown yeah he was like I thought you'd be wearing like a meringue dress That's so funny

He also has taught me a hundred times Please don't wear a meringue dress Is a meringue dress like the enormous like poof princessy vibe? Traditional I did think when I walked in why are there no tears Because he was probably thinking Oh my god my parents are thinking she's an absolute slut wearing Stop

Really? But people go to the register office and they just wear like a little reformation number i know he needs to just understand yeah he does i've never really seen anyone he was wearing cuban heels so like seriously bless his little soul guys i always got the best pictures because we obviously sat behind them and they were sat facing away from us quite a lot of like the ceremony and like the formal signing of the papers and all this stuff and you could just just see Sophie's wearing these sick Jimmy Choo shoes with like these like diamantes like all down the back

and they're like flickering in the light. And then Jamie's just sat next to her and he's like, look, little high heel boots. With also a little slip inside them. He still had to stand on a step higher than me outside. That was fluke. But then in the video that we've all got privately, he then stands next to you

and it looks like he's still a little bit taller. Yeah, we were the same height and I was in heels. Totally fine actually. So those Cuban heels were bra fucking good. They did a good job.

YSL, hello. They looked excellent. They actually really went with the whole vibe. Also, honestly, was I marrying Carl, what's his name? Carl Lagerfeld.

Because honestly, at points. Oh yeah, but also we have to comment, I'm guessing you've already spoken about the fact that you're like mum give me your glasses before you went out and it's just the best thing perfect finishing touch the whole outfit the whole thing it was iconic guys obviously you've all seen it the whole world's seen the wedding everyone's like

for fuck's sake can it be done now everyone's like please get 20th of may needs to be over so we can it's gonna be like what the fuck I going to talk about for the rest of my life when this wedding's over? Like all I feel like- Your wedding next. All I talk about is like the next event. I'm like, I'm so excited for this next event. And then I really just want this big wedding just to carry on forever.

I know we've got three weeks, we've got a month, a month to go. Yeah, we've got a lot of build up. We've got a build up. Yeah. Lovely. Maybe we do it second hand after the wedding. Right. We need to get into the episode moving on to the the normal regime the nitty gritty sweet or dry melissa oh response to talking about the belly button fluff oh the belly button fluff thing really fascinates me. My partner does this every single night. He's a farmer, so he picks up straw, et cetera.

Sorry. So he must like get all the hay. From his belly button. Oh. Once he was trying to collect all the fluff to see how much he would get in a month. I did put a stop to that. Well, thank God.

No, I'm really sorry, but straw is slightly better than fluff. No, I'm confused. How is there straw in his, how guys, how deep are these belly buttons going? Yeah, some people have real innies. Mine's like an innie and an outie. Yeah, but I don't have much space in there.

We've got quite similar belly buttons. Yeah, we do. I don't really notice the belly buttons. Oh, boys just rank, aren't they? How much belly button fluff you can collect in a month. No, no, no, no, no, no. Boys are just horrible. I'm going to tell you something.

Go on. You know when boys wank they come on their tummy yeah i think sometimes there's like remainder of cum in their tummy but in their belly button they smell it she's shaking she's shaking she's shaking i'm shaking because i'm i've had oh yeah yeah guys i'm trembling all day long no no that's from the alcohol that i drank okay right hold on Who have you seen? I mustn't say. I know we can't actually disclose this on the podcast. I mustn't say.

Surely you get in the shower and rincey rinse? Yeah, but I can't bear to talk about it. I actually, that only happens. That is TMI. I don't really want to know about TMI. That's TMI, but I think that does happen because they do cum on their tummy, don't they? Yeah, yeah, you're so right.

It's fucking disgusting, that. That is awful. That is fucking disgusting. Also, every boy's cum, like, please just like eat healthy food because no, it really does smell if you've eaten bad food. If you're a smoker as well, not to hate on people who smoke,

but apparently it can really affect your semen. Smoker? Yeah. Bitter smell, bitter taste, apparently really affects it. Pineapple, just gobble that pineapple up. Oh yeah, people do say that. You know what?

Oh my God, I have a story. I have a story about this like come situation so i can't i'm not gonna say who it is because i don't actually know who they are but it's someone that's told me this story knows this couple very well they were um obviously having sex and they were like i don't know what's going on but um every time we have sex my vagina burned like nothing I've ever felt before in my life so she thought that they both went to the doctor like no you're perfectly fine okay right carried on obviously dating each other this is like going on for like six seven months maybe maybe a year they've been together for a long time and um they were like it's now getting so uncomfortable that I can't like I can't have sex with you and then he was like let me try and he was like it is really spicy he puts Tabasco on everything he eats obsessed with Tabasco to the point where his semen was

like burning her in is that a thing have you had that Jamie Jamie is like the hot sauce yeah it's a thing if you eat loads of spice Tabasco it goes into into the cum and then it burns I'm not on the pills I don't have that situation but that is hideous I know isn't that hideous that is hideous so now he's had to give up the love of his life

Tabasco so that they can have sex and she's not in agony that is outrageous I know but it really does guys that's like me locked up when I couldn't taste anything

and I was putting peppercorns on chili on everything my sister was like you may as well just dose up on the KM pepper because she was like good you know it's good for your metabolism apparently I know I dose up on the KM pepper because she was like good you know

good for your metabolism no no I threw up in the night because I ate it and it was just burning my throat awful awful awful

but guys that is living proof that whatever you eat it just goes straight into the old yeah what is it called human juice you must be lovely

because you eat pineapple like it's no I know and I need to stop because now my teeth are like wearing down from it because of the acidity. I need to stop with this.

I have a pineapple obsession, guys. And mango. Oh yeah, I've been eating loads of mango too. It's delicious. Okay, right. Getting back onto sweet or dry. Holding his penis while he weaves. How else are they supposed to be?

Why would you do that? Oh, obviously. Why the fuck are you going to watch it? I've never seen KBW. That's when a boy's really drunk and I think they can't aim. I've never had that, but I think that must be the reason. Otherwise, that's sick and that's weird. And I would be like, no.

That'd be like, Jamie, can you just wipe my vagina after I've done a pee? Yeah, what the fuck? I never watch KBW. Ever. I'm not going to fucking stand there and watch it. No way. Oh no. Do a sit down Wee.

That's better off than getting someone else to hold the penis. Do a sit down Wee boy. Oh no, sit down Wee. Do a sit down Wee. Don't involve me in it. Shut the door. Or just also just hold your own fucking penis. Like what? Okay, there's something on here that says motorboating, but can we just...

I know, I've skipped out the middle. Motorboating is boobs. My boobs aren't really big enough to do that i'm gonna say it's sweet as well if you can do it hats off to you yeah that's lovely all right cuddles until i fall asleep i think that's so funny they like surely a boy doesn't actually like that yeah i know it's just a funny thing it also never really works when you try you must have to have colossal tits in order for them to like smack, smack. No, you just squeeze them together. It doesn't work. It's like really quite awkward and it's just funny.

I don't know. I thought motorboating was something else. Oh, it's like you put the willy inside you. No, that's a tit wang. I thought motorboating. That also doesn't work, really. That also is. No, but we don't have big enough feet for that.

You have to have. Speak for yourself. Huge, huge, huge. No, you don't. You need colossal tits. No, I've no i've managed it all the way around the penis i've managed it it just isn't like a great thing it's just like not it's there's no grip there's no grip it's just it's just like the idea of it surely i think motorboating is something else what is what is motorboating yeah i think they put their face in their boobs

is that what it is? That's just surely lols. Like that cannot be a serious thing. But I find that sweet. Like that would just make me lol if a boy asked me to do that. Cuddles and tinnitus are sweet as anything. I would love that. Yeah, Toby hates it and I literally harass him all night long.

I get him really hot and I'm like, don't care, sorry. I literally like Jamie hand on my bar. Bet MGM is an official sports betting partner of the National Hockey League and has your back all season long. From puck drop to the final shot, you're always taken care of with the sports book Born in Vegas. That's a feeling you can only get with Bet MGM. And no matter your team, your favorite skater or your style, there's something every NHL fan is going to love about BetMGM. Download the app today and discover why BetMGM is your hockey home for the season. Raise your game to the next level this year with BetMGM,

a sportsbook worth a sellie, and an official sports betting partner of the National Hockey League. BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Right, do you want to read the dilemma, Domiti? I'll read dilemma one. Okay. The sunglasses are just killing me. I can't take you seriously.

Because I also can't see what you're seeing, like what you're looking at. Speaking me out. She had that with those big, those big like reflective ones on the day we left. And I was like, who the fuck are you looking at?

It was like really sketchy. I was like, take them off. Right, right dilemma one my boyfriend fancies the receptionist oh for fuck's sake for fuck's sake grow up today I found out my boyfriend of 1.5 years had intentionally found a girl on Instagram who works as at his college gym because he says she looked at him in a certain way which he thought meant she fancies him immediately what the fuck okay so that means

oh yeah let's go find her on Instagram give her a follow also get over yourself she looked at you a certain way she was probably just like looking at you

I look at everyone why would you admit to that why would you go I'm only following her because she looked at me in a certain way and I think she fancies me also why is he assuming

she fancies him she could have just been looking at him like what did she do look him up and down I look everyone up and down me too but regardless to that

if she even if she was why the fuck would you use that as an excuse yeah no no no no no how dumb am I awful

just checking you out to see if I want to go take it any further yeah sorry I'm just weighing up my options here immediately done I'd be like what the fuck

yeah fucking he states they've said hello a couple of times why is he so open why is he telling people he's so boastful as well this is really odd really backs himself

I later found out she's the receptionist lol so he goes onto her Instagram and masturbates over her how does she know this he goes onto her Instagram and masturbates over

one of her pictures yes he told me this sorry he's a fucking weirdo okay sack him off right now i don't need to read any more of this i think he might have a problem i think yeah i think he might as well that's really unwell like what i think he might have problems i think that i think that's no there's something wrong with him that's like really bad social skills yeah yeah he justified it by saying he is a primitive ape scratching an itch you are i'm no it has to be a joke i don't really believe that

proceeded to give me statistics statistics on male ejaculation rates and new female partners being quicker no no wait what no i'm really sorry he obviously has no respect for you but also i really hope you've dumped him by now so after admitting this to me he explained that he did it because our relationship was on the rocks i've told him i need time to think this happened yesterday please give me some advice on what to do and whether this is wrong thank you are you fucking kidding me it's so wrong get the fuck out right now no my toes are literally like i'm i'm i can't with this boy that is so wrong that. That's dumpable 101. He's done. I would have been dumped at the follow on Instagram,

let alone the explanation for the follow. Then he's wanked over a picture of her. Say he's a primitive ape, you disgusting pig. You're a pig scratching an itch. Ugh! Scratching an itch. No. What does that mean? The next itch is going to be he's going to go to the gym

and then have a wank over her in real life. And he'll be like, oh, don't worry. Loads of boys need to have sex. It's just the way we are because we're cavemen no he's that's cheating that's just that is cheating to me no no there's there's no thinking about this walk away close door and be strong because it doesn't even sound like he's tried to fight for you he's literally gone yeah yeah it's normal there's obviously without i really don't mean this in a mean way there's obviously a real power difference in this relationship yeah and you need to back yourself a bit more yeah and he's obviously quite thinking he can get away with it over you and i really don't like it that is disgusting in every way

shape or form he's an absolute pig right uh wanking over a girl there is absolutely no shadow of a doubt you need to leave him and we just leave it at that that's really upsetting to boys wanking over girls they know i i like can settle it with porn like i can deal with it with i know but like the thought of jamie wanking over a girl on instagram actually fills me with pure rage that he goes to the gym with and sees every day no well no no no he thank god jim's with sean stafford so he's not like right we don't feel safe in our home i moved to uni in september a few hours away from home we were so excited to move in we met before in a group chat and everything seemed perfect but as soon as we moved in there was a divide I became closer to one of the girls and now she's my bestie.

Lovely. We already paid our deposit for our second year house, but the divide just kept getting worse since November. Oh, what's caused the divide? I mean, like, if you don't really know people. Oh, I can. When you live with people, you find out things and you just sometimes grow apart. We had this at our uni house.

Did you? But there is a divide at uni. It happens a lot at uni, probably. You know what? There's like five different girls living in a house. You're not all going to get on with each other.

Some girls are going to go out late. Some girls want to, you might be messy. Like all of those things. Exactly. I feel like living with someone shows a lot about a friendship and a relationship.

Well, not even necessarily. I think just some people just can't live together, but they could be great friends not living together. Exactly. When you live together, it just either makes or breaks it sometimes. There's tension with one other girl in particular in the flat. Let's call her Emma. Recently, Emma and another flatmate, let's call her Megan,

have been hanging out more and decided to turn against us. They've been laughing. They've been leaving us threats in the kitchen. Such as writing down, don't mess with us, on the boxes with drawings of us. Then stabbing the boxes and leaving a knife next to them. They also trash the flat and isolate us.

No, no. Call the police. Call the police. What the hell? This is really extreme. That is not normal. That's not safe. I think you should call the police. What the... Call the police! What the hell? This is really extreme. That is not... That's not... That's not normal. That's not safe.

I think you should call the... I'm not joking. I would call the police. No, I would say... I would say to them... No, I would... No, I... Fuck.

It's the night. Right, carry on. Right, the night. Please help us. What should we do? We're all on the same course and have to see them every day as well as living with them next year.

Fuck. We are uncomfortable in our own flat and have been started washing up in our bedrooms. Oh my God, this is bloody awful. You can stop the lease for next year. Get the fuck out of there. Right.

Isn't there a way that they could be like to the landlord that these girls are doing this? I would tell the landlord and get them to be evicted from the house. You've been given a death threat. Take photos. Take all evidence.

Take it to the landlord and be like, these girls are leaving knives. They're not safe. We want evicted from the house. You've been given a death threat. Take photos, take all evidence, take it to the landlord and be like, these girls are leaving knives, they're not safe, we want them out of the house. And then get two other lovely girls to move in with you. That is what I would do. That is horrific. Or you say to the landlord, I'm sorry, you have to just get out.

Oh, I need to get out and you have to find someone else because I don't feel safe. I feel like they might, I'm not going to lie, I don't want to make this get that serious, but the whole knife stabbing into the drawing of you on the box is almost like they're threatening. Does that mean that you're going to then try and stab me?

What the fuck are they trying to say? It's actually so serious. Call the police. I would probably call the police, actually. I actually probably would. It's not someone at uni. I guess it's not really high school. I would probably have a conversation with them,

like, guys, what the fuck? I'm not going to live with you. Like, what the fuck? No, I would be too scared I would definitely take photos and take it to the league the fact they're washing up

in their bedroom is really awful as well at least you're not by yourself but I would be terrified this is a health and safety issue I would get a padlock

on the roof I would take it to the landlord get them evicted he would not want people like that living in his house god this is wild

these dilemmas have been wild yeah people are really unhinged what the fuck's going on? Wow. Okay. Oh my God.

Another fucking one. Dilemma three. Jesus. This boy is manipulating my best friend. I have a major dilemma for you. Be ready. Oh my God. These are juice today.

My best friend started seeing a guy last year and only told me a few weeks ago. This guy is a girlfriend for 10 years and I'm not sure on how long the crossover was with my friend this gets worse apparently he broke up with his ex however as they still live together he didn't tell the ex about my friend that's just fucking weird why why is he not moved out why are they still living together right then all of a sudden his ex is pregnant with his baby and she's keeping it i've just scrolled down

and i've seen this sorry it's gonna get really good oh my god they're calling they're calling it the name they've always wanted oh i wonder what the name is at this point i'm not sure if he's kicked her out of the house or not hold on so he's living with his ex-girlfriend that's pregnant with their baby and then dating her and they've like chosen a name for it that they've always wanted together. And obviously he was cheating on the ex with the new friend. The new girlfriend. Which is her friend.

Okay, right. Just why was your friend dating her? That's bad for your memory. Like this is just so sketchy and weird. Red flag, red flag. My friend then also gets pregnant with his baby. No! He's got serious sperm for starters.

So he's got two babies on the way. Yeah, with two different women. And they're not even born yet. And his ex doesn't know about the new girl. He's definitely not broken up with the ex. He's definitely living two lives. One hundy bee. He tells her to get rid of it.

But, oh. I can't stand this piece of ass this is the most dramatic three dilemmas we've ever had yeah yeah yeah i'm strapped in this one he did he tells her to get rid of it but that he still wants a future with her she did yet she's seeing him and she did she did she's still seeing him and hiding it from everyone booking Booking hotels, her housemates doesn't. Right, so she's now seeing him in secret which I'm not surprised about

because you would be horrendously embarrassed. This guy's just like literally like puppeting her around. Also, why was he like get rid of it and why didn't he tell his ex Because he's clearly,

because he's committed to the ex and he has to keep this girl secret. Also, how dare he make that decision for her? Like she can do what she fucking wants. If she wants the baby, she could have the baby. the baby yeah she's obviously just willing to do whatever he says

oh god i'm going on a lot i think actually i'm going on holiday with this friend in a few weeks but i'm kind of dreading it i don't go doing any of this and i think he's completely manipulating her what can i do oh no unfortunately she going to have to learn her own lesson. She's too far deep in. There's only so much advice you can give. No, but you have to be completely brutal. You do. Be like, he's living a double life.

Oh, 100%. I think she knows that. No, she obviously sounds... Some girls and some guys are like, come on. It's just like, I want to shake them. No. I want to shake your friend for you i don't think i could go on holiday with some if you were doing that i would be so annoyed yeah it was so hard

because i'd be like i love you so much why are you like being with such a pig that i wouldn't be able to hold my tongue because i just want to shake you the whole time if you kept speaking about him i'd be like oh he doesn't love you he's got a girlfriend and she's keeping it a secret from everyone else and you're the only one that she's telling about it because this is the problem eventually she'll lose all of her friends because her friends will eventually like you can't hide this shit forever they'll find out she's still dating him yeah and they obviously disagree with it so much and then she's hiding it from him and then you almost push away your friends because do you know what i mean this happens all the time oh my god you always just want to tell the girlfriend the ex so that she can put a slot to it all yeah I couldn't go on holiday with you because I would just want I

wouldn't let you do it and I would if you were ignoring me I would just be so irritated with you I wouldn't be able to hold it in I wouldn't be able to have a fun holiday I'd be like Melissa I love you but whilst you're going down this route and I really don't think it's the right route to go on like I and if you're not going to listen to me I can't be around you because I don't want to watch you ruin your life yeah that's what I'd probably say yeah what would you say to me you would be like Sophie he fucking doesn't love you I think I would be brutally honest but then there's I do think that there is a line where you have to be brutally honest and if they don't, I do think that there is a line where you have to be brutally honest and if they don't listen to you,

they're never going to listen to you and they have to just learn for themselves and it depends how much you love your friend. Sometimes you just have to be supportive and just be there when she cries and be there when she's in love with him and being a twat. No, no, Melissa,

you would be, you would give me a real bollocking at first. Oh my God, I would. If you weren't listening, I would be like, am I going to not be your friend because you're fucking up with this guy? But would you come on holiday with me whilst i was like still doing this i wouldn't do

the holiday because it sounds like the holiday is already happening you can't cancel the holiday i'd have to invite more people then i'd have to because i would also is she's is she still is she now lying to you about the fact that she's seeing him or is she still telling i think she's still telling her so you're the last one talking to her about her yeah i like texting her no no no no no it's really bizarre how sometimes love is so blind like she really thinks this guy is in love with her so all of these stories today apart from the psycho bitches who are stabbing boxes and yeah to kill you who actually these guys guys horrible like that that's actually really concerning can you please get help because i don't yeah i'm worried about your safety other than that the boys of these

stories are just absolute cus cus they're absolutely cows don't you find it so funny to call a boy a cow they're such a cow my dad's ex-girlfriend used to always call him a cow and I used to find it hilarious she's like Pat you're being such a cow because she was Irish and I was like it's so good that is so good also I also think as a woman there's nothing worse than another woman calling you a cow no I find it no I think a cow is such a horrible insult I don't know what it is it really like goes through me really if you call me a cow end of friendship god I think cow's

quite a funny one oh my god I think it's horrible yeah it depends on what scenario it's said like if it's like don't be such a cow a slag would be the worst

oh she's such a slag that is vile I actually really don't approve of that one also being called a bitch is actually also really horrible anyway

come on next one what are we going to actually do serious advice what are we going to give this girl advice for because all you've said is I couldn't go on holiday

no I've said I would tell her straight up I would be like I would be like I really love you but I honestly think you're making such

a fundamental huge mistake and I can't sit and let you watch you make this ruin your life so I'm going to have to separate and ruining this

other girl's life and this little baby that's on the way yeah I'd be like I can't if you're not going to if you want to go ahead with this, I'll be here for you. But I can't go on holiday with you. I wouldn't go on holiday.

I wouldn't. Yeah. I would say that. I would say I think it's a fundamental mistake. Always wish there was like one of those. I would almost want to, but you can't do this. I know. My mind's going to dark places.

I'd want to call the boy and be like, you, you piece of shit. I'm going tell your your ex girlfriend because I know what you're doing unless you tell my friend you broke up with her yeah love a bit of black man that was a nice bit of healthy advice from Sophie the newly married giving out the best advice Sophie Lang get it right bitch I actually feel weird saying Sophie Lang they say Lang she's easier I also sound people just think I'm probably saying it wrong Get it right, bitch. I actually feel weird saying Sophie Lange. Say Lange. She's easier. I also sound,

people just think I'm probably saying it wrong if I say that. Right, dating stories. Here's my submission for worst ever bio on a dating app. It's problematic for so many reasons, but the main one is I'm pretty sure none of it is ironic. She sent a screenshot of this guy on Bumble. Oh my God.

And it says, I'm hoping you swipe right fall in love have my baby sorry but he looks a bit like Spencer Matthews in that photo and he's going I'm looking for a woman

who can make me calm it's got to be a fucking joke who can make me calm and then he's gone M A you know one of those things when it's like M A

anyway so he's gone M make me dinner A appreciate things I do for you. He's also a builder. K, kiss me. Nothing gets built.

E, eager to see me. M, marry me. E, endlessly, endlessly love me. C, capture my heart. U, until death do us part. M, make me come. No, someone's done that. One of his mates has done that as a joke for him.

That's not real. I so agree. That is not real. Because also the photo of him, him like he's actually quite fit not my vibe but like he's yeah he looks like a nice looking bloke um no no no no no no no that will go down in history also someone's put down a lot of effort into that that is that has to be a joke guys that has to be a joke one of his friends has done that as a lol joke i really appreciate you sending that in though because that's probably the worst one i have ever seen but i do think it is i would have had to swipe right for that just to find out if it was a joke

yeah we need more investigation oh my god we need to just stalk his instagram we need to see the real name you don't know what his bloody name is well we'll we'll have the name we won't know we'll stalk his instagram and gauge whether it was a joke one of his fans has set it up there is really rank blokes in the world though. That could actually be real. It might. We are very hot. I love you. Bye guys. We'll see you next time. bonus. Enough to buy a fancy parka. A ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka. Or just

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That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio