Wednesdays - 109: What do these dreams all MEAN?! Ft. Dream Psychologist Ian Wallace

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

Happy Wednesday tiny winies and welcome to our **DREAM SPECIAL**We have pretty funky dreams and so do you, so we’ve brought on Dream Psychologist Ian Wallace to decode some of our weird & wonderful dreams.PLUS, it wouldn't be a Wednesday without some shocking dilemmas!! Including, what do you do if your best friend is pregnant with your partner's child??If you're a fan of Ian's dream insights, or want to check out his books, visit his website for more info.The wine we’re drinking this week is Lost Relic Bonarda 2021Rating: 6/10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello guys hey guys we have a very very exciting podcast today yeah we've been waiting a long time for this i feel like you guys have been waiting a long time for it too but we're doing a dream special yeah you know melissa and i have very funky dreams vivid dreams yeah vivid you name it every spectrum of dream we have them and you guys have weird dreams too because you write into us quite a lot about the old dreams. And some of your dreams have come true. So we need to work out. Oh, yeah. That was why.

I think that's why we're doing this because we have one specific girl that wrote in about her boyfriend cheating on her and it turned out all to be true. You know, her granddad came to her in the dream. In the dream. And it was very specific. We just want to like deep dive into it and see like whether there's truth to a dream. Yeah, get some psychological understanding behind the dreams. So we're bringing to you a very well renowned dream sastralist. His name is?

Ian Wallace. He's a proper pro. So we're excited. I'm excited. We're going to learn a lot about all of ourselves this episode, guys. Yeah. Be prepared. Melissa, are you a doctor?

I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either, and we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts at anything. In fact, we just challenge all the shit, so. And we love giving you guys advice, but as we said. We love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional

help melissa's got her shawl wrapped amongst her yeah i've got a really nice blanket around me i'm all cozy i'm in a nice position actually i know i didn't quite get myself cozy but don't worry i'll get different socks today well yeah i didn't wear the same i know i i meant as in different as in funky different again gorgeous gifted them in like a food goodie bag i love a pair of like nice socks in those gift bags it makes such a difference i don't know why socks just make it me socks also nice socks are like they're hard to come by they are they make a difference and like i'm not with the trainer do you remember when we were younger and it was trainer socks oh you were like no socks can be seen out of my shoes i would get like mine were like size two to three well that is your size she has thumb blina feet oh it's a lovely lovely sunny day isn't it it's a gorgeous day but it's

quite nipped we were actually just talking about how the fact that it's um but it's brown early it was scheduled to snow this morning you're joking absolutely dead serious no i don't i don't think in central london it was meant to oh what just in the north of london it was just maybe the outskirts you know when you get slightly slightly out of london it just gets a little bit colder like whenever i go to the countryside to see my parents it's way colder than it is in london because that's probably more north no it's actually not it's just west but yeah like the breeze the open air the pollution makes it warm are we just you're right it does the pollution don't you laugh at me i think that's true no she's actually correct and it's and it's the height of

the buildings make it what they cover the wind their windshield no they do something with the clouds then it becomes like a weird no we we must stop speaking. We must stop speaking. No, I'm being serious. I know there's endography. Genuinely. It's true. Cities are always warmer. What type of clouds are there?

There's loads of different names. No, they block a lot of the clouds from coming over. No. We love that endography for sure. You know what really I did learn about though that really scared me

and it's like one of my biggest fears is like earthquakes and tsunamis. I know what to do. What do you do? go and stand in the frame of a doorway get yourself in a bathtub frame in a so the frame of a door

is really strong if there's an earthquake what that thin thing yes for some reason a door frame is really strong I'm wider than a doorway I know

but they just say it's one of the main safety things if there's an earthquake happening and then you move the bath into it no that would be unrealistic or you get in the bath these are just three options whatever room you're in there's options a door frame under a table or in a bath you heard it

in case you ever have an earthquake in london right okay we're drinking a lovely lovely rouge today it is oh my god i love the cartoons i yeah i wouldn't say they're more cartoons they look a bit like emperor grew vibe it's lost relic and it's like floating empress floating angels yeah we really know and it's a bonadra 13 of alcohol lovely just what we like mendoza 2021 it contains sulfites no idea where it's from does anyone remember the early days of us? Sophie would literally, all she would talk about is the percentage of alcohol and if it had sulfates in it or not. Every time it was contained sulfates. We've never found a wine that doesn't.

Yeah, even the organic ones do. A beautiful Bernardo from Mendoza where warm days and cool nights bring out the best in these grapes. The wine has a lovely nose of blackberry leading to a well-structured palette with great concentration of blackberry fruit hints of sour cherry and plums as well as notes of licorice and tar tar you can hire sophie habu for lovely voiceovers for one introductions here at wednesdays we drink wine.com right guys should we get into the dream segment of this episode? Hi, Ian. Thank you so much for joining us.

How are you? I'm great. It's lovely to be with you both. Ian, we're so excited to have you on. Melissa and I have, and all of our listeners, have written in so many times about very spooky dreams. We just really want to deep dive into them and like know what the meaning is to dreams like how they happen is it a sign is it our subconscious yeah is it a

subconscious telling us i've actually had things before where it definitely is my subconscious speaking to me and eventually i've acted on them so the first thing you always have to know about dreams is the dream doesn't happen to you the reality is that your brain generates everything in the dream and the reason that it does that the fundamental reason for dreaming is to process your emotions so when you are dreaming you are creating a series of images that allow you to explore your emotional life and understand it and make powerful choices in it so hold on a minute okay right so so if i'm gonna ask you a question which is like the most popular like question i think we probably get asked about like does this dream mean something

if i'm constantly cheating on my partner in my dream i'm not but like this is what people have written in what does that then mean this is a very common dream yeah so are you so is the dream cheating on your partner or being cheated on this is so we've got both of those questions here it's cheating on your partner and being cheated on yeah right so the more common of those is being cheated on okay and because you create the dream and you create everything in it you create all the characters in the dream yeah and those characters are representations of aspects of your own identity and personality okay so when you dream that your partner some intimate some companion who's very

close to you is cheating on you the reality is that is there not the reality is that you are cheating on yourself in some way in waking life. It's got nothing to do with your partner. There's something in waking life where you are betraying yourself, betraying your own ambitions, your own ideas, your own values. And that is the cause of that dream. If you dream that you are cheating on your partner, then again, there's something in waking life where you are maybe betraying trust in some way. So you're not betraying trust in them. You're not going to cheat on them. But you're letting yourself down or letting a situation down where you could actually take action and get to a positive outcome with it.

Oh, my God. But how do you know it doesn't mean that they're cheating on you that they're pretending to be in love with you but they're not if you have that dream that your partner's cheating on you and you start to suspect that they might be cheating on you what can often happen is it can cause a series of events that actually do lead to the breakup of the partnership because the relationship dynamic is that you start becoming very suspicious of your partner you lose confidence in the relationship then your partner thinks why is my girlfriend so suspicious? Why does it seem like she's stalking me? Why is she so needy? Why does she need to know where I am all the time? Why is she so clingy? And for anyone in a relationship

that can become a bit wearying after a while. But then how do they find out what they are betraying themselves with? Yeah, so you have to ask yourself that question in waking life. Because the thing about dreams is they are answering questions we are not even aware that we are asking and these are very good questions to ask yourself. Where are you letting yourself down? Where are you running around after other people rather than attending to your own needs? Those are the sorts of questions you ask and then when you ask those answers will emerge that will give you some idea of the actions you can take i feel like this is quite positive for us and our listeners because

we've all had dreams where we've cheated and we've all had dreams where we've been cheated on so knowing that that's not actually happening and it's not a suspicion it's not something deep within us telling us that we need to cheat on our partner or something like that and that's not yeah it's actually just an us problem it's just an us problem and we've also had quite a lot of people dreaming about exes again it comes back to that idea of you're creating the dream and you create all the characters in the dream to represent aspects of yourself so the question to ask there is what is the one quality you associate with that ex-partner and it may be that they were very kind, they were very generous, it might be they were a bit of a bully, that they talked you

down all the time. Whatever those things are there's some situation now in your waking life where you are being faced with the same sort of issue. It may be that your current partner is doing exactly the same thing as your previous partner did and it's an absolutely classic scenario where people say oh I've got a new partner and he or she's absolutely brilliant and oh and that's completely different from the last one and then you know and all your girlfriends or boyfriends are then thinking it's exactly the same as the last one you've picked up on exactly those same qualities so when you create that dream where an ex-lover is returning just ask yourself what is the one quality I associate with that person and is that one quality showing up again in my waking life right now

because I've got the opportunity to take action with it right now so it's not because you miss them or you're self-conscious and saying well it could be that you it could be because you miss them or you're self-conscious in saying you should be there? Well, it could be that you miss them, but what you're actually missing is that quality. It might be that they were very confident in social situations, and it may be that you have always felt a bit awkward in social situations. So you miss that kind of confidence boost that they give you. But the opportunity there is not to go and find someone else that helps you feel really confident socially the opportunity is to help yourself feel a bit more confident socially and come out of your shell a bit more

okay guys so sweet or dry today drinking our coffee out of the same mug to save washing up. I think that's a bit dry. Just wash up the mug. It's just lazy. It's fucking dry as hell. Also, like greener coffee, you get the stain of it. Yeah, yeah, just wash up the cup. Sharing a toothbrush. I have an opinion on this.

What do you think? Well, I asked Melissa's toothbrush on Paris trip and she was like, I'd rather you not. Which I do get. I do get. But I would share with you. There are certain people I wouldn't. So I was offended you wouldn't have shared with me. I would have done.

But your toothbrush is in the next room. Yeah, yeah. True. And you were hammered. So was I. And I was just like, God knows what's been. Also, after that weekend, I don't really want to. I was just like, it's been a long night.

You just had a kebab. And I was like, I think you should go. Oh, yeah. She had had a kebab the night before. I don't like it at all. It's not an ideal scenario. But if you had to, I would share one with, there's only certain people in the world

that I would share one with. But I still would rather not. Me too. Your teeth almost look fake. I would share with you, I've had to share with Toby a few times in the early days. You know what it is,

it's in the early days of dating when you're like too premature to bring a toothbrush over with you, but you've got to brush your teeth, you've got to do what you've got to do. You shut that door and you just fucking brush your teeth with their toothbrush. Yeah they know they know they know

they don't care yeah at that point you're kind of sharing the same germs though but ideally not ideally not i still don't really love jamie never shares mine but i sometimes share says he's got the best toothbrush ever honestly what one is it the phillips it's i don't know but it is supersonic and i like using it because i'm like it might be a spotlight or all care tim has a lovely spotlight or all care one that she was using and it was like like made a lovely sound and i was like that looks like it's vibrating the plaque off your teeth yeah yeah okay so i'm going with dry because i me too i'm just gonna go with dry on like a regular but needs must then it's in this suite you kind of send me sweet tell you a dress looks bad i think there's something to say for good honesty but

don't tell me i look bad yeah jamie's just not one to compliment if he doesn't like it he'll just be like oh you know he'll go are you wearing that yeah yeah oh fuck off are you wearing that mate i never say anything but he does say that a lot he even says that to me he goes are you gonna go out in that tonight i'm like what i know but i think that's a joke i think i think i hope no no quite yeah i think he thinks it's funny but it's really not but sometimes he really is really is a bit shook at some type some things i wear but you have the best fashion sense ever and he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about you know what i mean like sometimes it is just like no no you don't have the right to comment because you have no taste i would really like i would really not like it if the boy was

really fashionable like toby's got really good fashion so i would be no shade on jamie he wears lovely clothes jamie does have good scent he's got gorgeous jamie's also a bit smarter like toby's a very casual boy he's one genre kind of guy i'm trying to like move him into like we it's fine to be casual and i love what he wears but sometimes there is smarter occasions where we have to wear a smarter outfit i know but it's like it's one of those going out I love what he wears but sometimes there is smarter occasions where we have to wear a smarter outfit he always goes to my wedding I know but it's like it's one of those

going out for dinner vibes where you're not allowed to wear trainers it's then like you need to have an outfit for different occasions no Toby cannot wear the shoes Jamie wear

he should get some nice I totally agree he shouldn't wear the little high heels that Jamie has can you imagine Toby if they swapped out no I really

I butcher brand names. It's embarrassing. You know what? It's hard. Like, Loewe. I only knew it was called Loewe until it... I think my mum was calling it Loewe. And I was like, I think it's Loewe.

And that's only because I've heard a blogger say it on my Instagram. The teeth falling out. I mean, that's obviously a really common dream. People talk about it all the time. I've had loads of dreams about that. And apparently it's about money. How the hell is that? Why is that connected?

So that's complete nonsense, Melissa. Oh, is it? Yeah, it's not about money at all. And again, there are so many misconceptions about dreams, especially common dreams, like teeth falling out. The way to work with dream imagery is to think, why might you show your teeth in waking life? Show them two main occasions.

One is when you're smiling, so you're all happy and confident. And the other one is when you're kind of snarling, when you are asserting yourself. So teeth are all about confidence and power. So if you dream that you're losing your teeth, there's some situation in your waking life where you feel that your

confidence is diminishing in some way and you don't feel as powerful as you need to be if you dream that your teeth are falling out there's some situation where you need to step into your power in waking life and show up more confidently rather than always looking for the approval of other people i've got another one for you so i used to always dream that i was doing a play a theater play and i forgot the line i hadn't rehearsed the lines i didn't know any of the script and it was the next day or i've had it that my dissertation was about to be handed in and i've not done it yeah it's uh it's a combination of a couple of dreams so in that one you feel because it's a public performance you feel you have to present a particular self-image to all the people around you and and you feel that you're not living up

to that particular self-image and because of that there's kind of a divergence there's a split between who you're trying to be and and who you actually are who you authentically are so rather than in waking life worrying about how you appear to other people, what you should be doing is actually celebrating how brilliant you are inside and not really caring about what other people are. You should be applauding yourself and not looking for applause from others. And that kind of links in to the fifth most common dream the exam dream because exam in an exam you get judged you get examined you get criticized and again we go back to that thing you're creating the

dream so when you create that dream then there's some situation in your waking life where you're being far too self-critical you're judging yourself far too harshly you're examining your life or examining a situation and giving yourself a hard time for not living up to some strange perfect ideal so with that one rather than trying to judge your achievements you should just celebrate i love that god how lovely i feel like this has really taken a positive spin. Dilemmas. Dilemma one. Should I read this one? Yeah. It's all gone.

Stranger in the flat. My friend and flatmate has recently started seeing a guy and seems to be very into him. The problem is that the guy is staying

over at our house constantly and I've still not even met him properly. Oh no. The noise distorts me as we have thin walls and I just generally

don't feel comfortable in my home when there's when there's a third person here all the time and walking around in his boxes uh-oh jamie you do the same i mean it's a bit why wouldn't he like say hello that makes it comfortable because he's just like hey walking around his box he's not but it's like she doesn't even know who the fuck he is i hasn't introduced himself like what's your name surely he has i feel like she just doesn't know him yeah he's obviously just a very confident boy she's even left him in the flat when she's gone to work no i don't know that's big ick the first time the first time was after she'd known him for just two days and i was home

and i know that i didn't really feel comfortable with a stranger being left in the flat with me. The second time I wasn't home and she left him here with keys so he could lock up. Again, I'm sure he's lovely, but I don't think guests should be left alone in our apartment without it being agreed upon. I wouldn't really care about that as long as I... No, no, no. When you don't barely know someone leaving their keys. He's not going to rob the house. I know, but it's like just have respect for the other person that you're living with so if you trust them that's

one thing but your flatmate doesn't and doesn't even know it doesn't even know him do you know what i mean i would probably do something like that i would never leave him you would not dating a guy for two weeks you wouldn't be like here's the keys look up hun no yeah probably not from this i wouldn't even like oh no i just would never do that if i was like running out to work to my office i'd be like you get up and come out with me i'm not leaving you well if he was like sneezing i'd be like oh can you just lock up lock up i i i'm just so blasé you know what i am like that i never i i'm just no you'd be like get out you wouldn't give me your keys and how you're gonna get back home you've got to arrange something for later night i'd be like get out get out get out yeah get out yeah i i

probably would do something like that but i'm very very blasé and it's probably not the right thing to do i um you would hate that i would hate that it's not that i would hate it i just don't think i'd do it and if i if i wasn't in my kitchen having breakfast and this boy that i don't know swans in in his box it's like alright no but she wasn't there no one was in the house and she was probably like oh you can shower

and lock up and leave oh I see what you're saying then I'd be like the flatmate's not even there the first time she was then I'd be annoyed if I was there and he was just there

mincing about and he was gonna let himself out at his own time and lock up I'd be like no no my flatmate's you not this random guy

that you just started seeing we've only just moved in so we aren't really settled yet and i know that we need to establish some expectations what should i say to him what is a reasonable number of nights she should be able to have her partner over you can't i don't think there's a limit on that i think that there needs to be boundaries in terms of okay fine if you're not at home it's fine that he sleeps in and lets himself out like but he can't then stay there all day you know walk himself into the kitchen make himself a coffee in his boxes when you're trying to have your lunch yeah there needs to be some boundaries i get that and obviously if at some point you'll get to know him better you might really like him like i'm around my first boundary would be like he can't be if you're not here he can't and it's just me

and him in the house can he not be here but if we're both out the house and he needs to have a shower and leave 10 minutes later fine fine i don't really think you can be like can you only say three nights a week i don't think that that's something you can say however it would bum me out it would bum if me and you were moving in together and we were like 21 and we were like this is so exciting girl time you get a boyfriend he's over every night me and you're not spending any time together i I'd be like, for fuck's sake. Same, I'd be like this. This is not what I signed up for. It would annoy me, but then I wouldn't ever say to you like, can you limit Jamie from coming over?

I wouldn't be able to say anything. No, neither. You know what I would say? I'd be like, can we do a girls night, Soph? Yeah. Can we just have some girl time? Just us. I would probably just make jokes and be like, my God, Tim.

Let's call him Tim. God, Tim's always over. We never get to chill on our own yeah and i'll just be like this is not why i signed up or i thought we're gonna be single girls together yeah like just make some like light-hearted jokes but and definitely be like please can you not leave him alone in the house with me because it makes me really uncomfortable yeah straight up be like i'm sure i'll be like i'm sure at some point like i'm gonna know him better and i'll love him and i won't care about him being around but right now i don't know him

we've just moved into this house but it's just to say that so that it's like appeases her like you know at some point maybe i'll be fine with it but right now i don't know him we've just moved in yeah dilemma two fly into another continent for a first date i live in hong kong and i'm so fed up of the dating scene here i decided i was going to try one more time on the apps and went and went on the league i don't know what that is lo and behold i matched with someone it's obviously a dating app that i've never heard of we really hit it off we were talking for three days non-stop until i asked the question what brings you to hong kong hong kong he said i'm in washington dc i realized i had my pin vpn set to dc to watch some tiktoks it's banned here oh my god yeah it's banned in hong kong so you have to change the vpn to get to watch some TikToks. It's banned here. Oh my God, yeah, it's banned in Hong Kong. So you have to change the VPN.

To get to watch her TikToks. Because they ban loads of social media and stuff. Yeah, yeah. And in China too. We continue to talk. Anyway, it's almost been a month now. We have called and FaceTimed quite a bit and have decided to meet halfway. We've chosen Dubai and go on our first proper date.

I think this is quite great. I think that's lovely. He has been fully stalked and vetted by my friends and family. One who is a headhunter just to make sure he is who he says he is. Is this a mistake or should I just carpe diem? I think go for it. Carpe diem, 100% My cousin met his girlfriend on a dating app in like, I think she was in Metz?

No. Wow. Okay, just far away. And they've been going out for like a year and she's like the most beautiful person. on a dating app in like I think she was in Metz no wow okay just Buenos Aires or somewhere and they've been going out for like a year and she's like the most

beautiful person they're so in love and da da da da they meet halfway now and again gorgeous carpe diem fuck it

I really rate that exciting do not like yeah yeah yeah don't have any expectations Dubai's quite a safe place he can't

really do anything very safe and your friends vetted him he said she have you and get all your friends on fire everyone i mean i think you're gonna be you're gonna be fine you're gonna be great and if worse comes to worse get another couple of your friends to fly out yeah another hotel we'll just have a little holiday to yourself lovely in dubai yeah gorgeous right dilemma three i need your advice my friend is recently pregnant and i've

just found out she's been seeing my boyfriend behind my back what the fuck so she's pregnant with the boyfriend oh no oh my god my heart just had a little flutter there i've been questioning him about it as he has admitted to sleeping with her but he refuses to believe that it's his baby we've been together for five years now and we live together so i really don't want to leave him no no no no no no no we must leave him he must obviously have a paternity test we must leave him he's dead no you can't the friend no you can't this isn't even up for discretion i think i can move on from the cheating but have they been sleeping or was it a one-off drunken sleeping? They've been sleeping together.

They've been having a full-fledged affair. No, I'm really sorry. Please, I know it's so hard. We can't be considering this today. You live with him for five years, but that is, if that's happening now with your best friend, that is the height of disrespect. That's the height of, unfortunately, he's in love with your best friend. No, Melissa!

He is. If you go to the extent of making one mistake, that's the height of unfortunately he's in love with your best friend no melissa he is if he's if you go to the extent of like making one mistake that's one thing but then to carry on seeing them knowing the consequences knowing that that's your partner's best friend you must have an emotional connection there to go there in the first place yeah yeah because it's not like a random like drunken shag exactly and they know that is that is horrific i think i can move on from the cheating as as i have a pass of being disloyal but what if this but what if the baby comes do i support the baby and act as a family or do i leave him okay listen you leave him i think i'm just gonna say what i

would do i can't tell you i really really do think you must I would leave him I wouldn't even be It wouldn't even be anything to think about in my mind It wouldn't even be up for discussion Because your best friend with that baby Will now continue It's going to be a three way relationship I actually think he might just leave you for the best friend

At this point He's got a baby with her And clearly there's You're just going to get more You deserve way better Fuck this shit You're shit so much better than that what the hell and also like where's the shade on your best friend i'd be like

they none of them deserve you and to be in your life that's a horrible horrible horrible situation but you know what you'll only come out stronger but if you stay in this you will get yourself into a big mess you will get yourself so hurt yeah it's a big big big fat mess that is a horrible mess and you don't need to be in that mess you could be out of that mess you could be living a happy nice life and you know with a loyal boyfriend you will get over him and someone who treats you like that is not worth the hassle and with a baby involved that baby's going to be with them until they're 18. You've got that, that.

Yeah. No. No, for the rest of their life, they'll, they'll, when you have a baby with someone, you're tied together with them

for life. For life. And she was your best friend. What the fuck? And he's your boyfriend. No, what the hell? The whole thing.

No. It's devastating. You deserve so much better. But you're going to be amazing. Get out now. Just, yeah, stay strong and know your worth. No. It's devastating. You deserve so much better. But you're going to be amazing. Get out now. Yeah. Stay strong and know your worth. a thousand dollar cash bonus enough to buy a fancy parka a ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund plus move any other eligible

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19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m eastern research and supply see full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com please play responsibly yeah so we've got some longer some of our listeners have written to explain some of their

dream examples yeah specific dreams recently i've been having frequent dreams where I'm in trouble and nobody cares or helps in my last dream I was on the second floor of a burning house there was a fire downstairs and I couldn't get out other than through the window where there there was a ladder outside but nobody would help I could see people having a party people surfing and swimming outside I was crying for help and having a panic attack but nobody wanted to help even my boyfriend didn't care enough to help all I wanted was for my parents to be there because I knew they'd help me but they weren't present in my dream I've had similar ones but the subject changes i.e kidnapped in full view taken advantage of and another and another I had

all my teeth ripped out people can help but they don't that's horrible so there's a situation in her in her waking life where she has the opportunity to help herself in some way and in doing so she'll be able to help someone else so the number one dream symbol rather than just a dream is a building it's usually a house But a building and especially a house symbolizes yourself because houses and buildings have got insides and outsides and so do we. So when your dream is about being trapped in a burning building, so anything to do with fire, it's to do with creativity and transformation. It's about that creative spark. It's getting something going. It's igniting some sort of ambition to do that. So if you feel that you are in a situation where you're trapped in a

particular way of life or a particular identity that you're presenting to the world and things are burning up, there's something that's burning her up inside where she has to make a change, but she is the only person that can make that decision. She can get advice from other people, she can be mentored but she has to make that decision and when she is hoping her parents will help her, what parents symbolize is that older, wiser, more mature part of yourself, the part that knows what to do, the part that can make good decisions. So she is hoping that she can make this wise, mature decision. So it sounds

like in waking life, she feels trapped in a particular situation, but she wants to make a decision, which might be a little bit uncomfortable to start off with, that will be really helpful. And that's also the one with kidnap if you dream about being kidnapped you feel that your identity is being stolen in some way you feel that your identity has been taken away from you so this dream is all about helping yourself stepping into your power looking after yourself first and as you look after yourself first then you can use your power to look after others oh my god that's fascinating you know what's nice these are all sort of ending on positive notes yeah yeah well dreams are very

very positive they are messages from your unconscious showing you how in waking life how you can make positive change to yourself and others wow that was so so insightful thank you we've got another dream so someone wrote i have this recurring dream that i go back to my grandma and granddad's old house my older sister and i have so many fond childhood memories being in that house my grandparents moved out in 2008 but for some reason in my dream i'm fixated on finding a way into the house to see what it looks like now i never knock it's always a break in break in on my part and always I nearly get caught what does it all mean yeah it's a lovely dream so it's um it's quite suspenseful so we said that the house is the

number one dream symbol and we associate houses in our lives with who we have been who we are just now and and more variably, who we can become. When you dream about going back to an old house that's familiar from your childhood, there's something there that you feel that you have maybe lost in your maturation process, in your identity forming, something really special that was a part of you. And it might have been a curiosity, it might have been a willingness to do something courageous, it might have been a whole number of things. But in those, when you're going back to this house,

that's what you're going back to look for. And when you dream about your grandparents, grandparents are very, very loving and warm and kind, very, very experienced. So the dreamer's going back to look for some quality from their past. And it's usually some quality around, if his grandparents are involved, it's usually some quality around that wisdom and kindness and love. So they're going back to look for some part of themselves, some self-love, some part of themselves that they really loved and

and they feel a bit guilty about it. They feel a bit guilty about feeling that they should look after themselves, that they should love themselves. So the action from that dream is don't be afraid, don't feel guilty about taking care of yourself, about looking after yourself and feeling love for yourself. Oh, I love this. Gorgeous. Dating stories. We've had a dating story. I was listening to the latest app and heard all about the one of your lists is Outplay Ski Dilemma. I had a similar situation last year and just had to write it. I had been with my boyfriend for over two years and we went on a girls

skiing holiday in March last year. We had moved in together the previous September and everything was going swimmingly. Why does that make me laugh? However, on the first day of the ski trip, I caught eyes with this boy on another table. My heart instantly skipped a beat and I couldn't stop looking over at him the

whole time. We ended up bumping into his group of friends at Outbrace later in the night and we instantly hit it off. Stunning. The way you've written it is like really funny. I know it's like a love novel. We spent every night with them and even ski with them sometimes during the day. God this sounds gorgeous. I just spent most of the time with this boy and the connection turned into a lot deeper than just physical. When I got back home, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend. I have now been with seeing my skiing man for around a year long distance. He's honestly amazing and everything is going well so far.

He has since told me that he also noticed me in the first bar and couldn't stop staring at me either. It was truly love at first sight i had to message in so that i could tell your listener that it's not necessarily just lust and it might be something real at the very least it might be your gut telling you something is missing from your current relationship anyway because you love pics i thought i'd attach the pics of me oh my god oh my god that's so lovely no that's really needed that. No, that's so gorgeous. Oh no, that makes me feel like I need to really change my advice that I've given. Yeah, love at first sight is a real thing. You know what, I do think it is a thing.

We need to stop being so cynical. No, no, no, I don't think we are. But we're also, we're like loyal girls. So we're like, don't leave your boyfriend for someone you've just seen in a bar that you haven't spoken to. This is different. You spent time with him, you actually explored that. Oh my god, he looks like, well she looks lovely, but he looks like such a sweet, sweet

boy. He's happy as Larry with her. I'm trying to rack my brain of like vivid, strange dreams that I've had, but now I'm thinking about them I can't. We've got some good ones. We've got a good one. Okay. So this is

quite horrible. so there was a serial killer on the loose and my mom who was the chief of police in this scenario but in reality she's a primary school teacher decided that i was going to be the bait and they were going to leave me in the park for one night for him to find me so i'm standing there terrified when the grass the grass starts rustling and the serial killer jumps out and stabs me in the shoulder, but luckily my mum shoots him and he dies. All the while, a subplot is occurring when my longtime friend is holding her friend up to gunpoint

in the same park and we're all trying to convince her not to shoot. This is chaos, that dream. That sounds great. That sounds like a good drama series. Yeah, I'd watch that. That is chaos that dream that sounds great that sounds like a good drama series like yeah i'd watch that that is chaos when we dream about a serial killer then so serial killers are really scary but the the key word here is killer when we dream about a serial killer then there's some situation in our waking life where we feel that we have to kill off part of ourselves it's quite common among younger people where you feel that you have to fit into a particular way of being particular way

of showing up and it can be lots of different variations on it it could be that you are murdering someone, that you become a zombie. But all those really scary things around death. It might be something like you're very creative, you have some creative talent, and people say, you'll never make a living from that.

You need to do something really dumb, and you have to kill off that part of yourself. And the person who can sort this out is your mother, who has become the chief of police contribution from a primary school teacher. So what a police person symbolises is that ability to make sure everything works the way it should, to make sure that everything is right and proper.

So what the mum is symbolising here is that to do the right thing, rather than trying to fit in what everyone else expects from you, what you have to do is to be able to follow that passion and follow that ambition. And then that fits in in the rest of the activity, the rest of the drama in the park. So being held up at gunpoint, what guns symbolise is the ability to damage someone at a distance, the ability to take pot shots at someone. So guns in a dream usually symbolise someone is being critical of you.

They are making sniping remarks. They're taking these pot shots at you. So rather than letting them do that, if someone starts to give you a hard time, if someone starts to criticise you without any reason for doing so, you just have to push back against them. So you can fire back at them. You can fire back responses to them.

So that's what's happening in that dream. It's that idea of not killing part of yourself off because other people want to do it and it makes them uncomfortable. And also that part of yourself, which may be some creative endeavour, maybe some ambition you have, you might want to go to university, you might want to do a PhD, you might want to do all those things.

Don't listen to the criticisms of other people. What you need to do, follow your heart. Ian, that has been amazing. Do you have any sort of like final notes or advice or things that you would like to just say, you know, to round up? Yeah, so the key thing is, remember, the dream doesn't happen to just say you know to round up yeah so um the key thing is remember the dream doesn't happen to you you happen to the dream you create everything in the dream and you do that as a way of processing your emotions from waking up you're sending it

information to yourself so your dreams are creating that self-image that sense of who you are so just attend to those things and think what questions am i being asked what questions am i asking myself and how can i take action on those questions that's the key thing that a dream will do for you is it will let you ask questions of yourself and then you put that into action do you have like a handle or anything you want us to shout out for you for people to go to? Yeah thanks yeah so you can visit my website at ianwallacedreams.com and there's lots of information about dreams and dreaming on there. I've got a number of books that you can find so one of them is called the top 100 dreams it's the 100 most common dreams from around the world it tells you about the dream what it means the action you dreams it's the 100 most common dreams from around the world it tells you about

the dream what it means the action you can take and the psychological background there is a dream dictionary with 12 000 dream images in it and again you can use the definitions to make questions to ask yourself and then there's a shorter illustrated one called decode your dreams it takes the most common dreams and gets you to action with them so interesting amazing we won't keep you much longer but we're so grateful for your time yeah well thanks very much for the opportunity it's been really lovely chatting with you and chatting about dreams that was ending this podcast on a stunning note. That was lovely.

We love you guys. We wrote the wine. Oh, yeah. I'm going to give it a six. I'm going to go for a six because I'm also starting to... I'm just starting to crave rosé now. Nothing against the wine, but I'm just ready for rosé season. And I've also been having it on the hen,

and I'm ready to just slip right into summer vibes now. Yeah, same. But lovely bottle. Lovely, lovely one. It's a six from me yeah love you guys We'll see you next time. A ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka. Or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund. Plus, move any other eligible account and we'll give you a 1% match. Minimum $15,000 transfer. Register by March 15th.

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Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad-free some news for you we have launched a premium version of wednesdays now listen subscribers

get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio