Wednesdays - 110. Birthday Surprises, Halloween Outfits & Dealing With Needy Friends

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

Heyyy Tinies!Sophie's just had the loveliest birthday weekend at the Rosewood hotel complete with sweet treats, a gorgeous massage and the most thoughtful gift EVER from Melissa. Meanwhile, Melissa's also been treating herself to a spa treatment (or two) which gets the girls chatting about their best and worst massage experiences. With Halloween just around the corner, the girls talk all about costume ideas, plans and why Claudia Winkleman might be the best person to dress up as this year! And remember concealer lip? Thanks to Gabbriette, it's back and Sophie might have given it a go... In this week's dilemmas, one Tiny needs advice on dealing with a needy friend. How do you handle someone who wants be involved in every plan? Another listener needs guidance on what to do about her long distance boyfriend's sexual habits... Would you want to know all the details of what they get up to alone?!Enjoy the episode x Got a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail]--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Executive Producer: Jemima RathboneProducer: Helen BurkeAssistant Producer: Cat PhillipsVideo Editor: Lizzie McCarthySocial: Laura Coughlan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys, we've got a really good episode today. We deep dive into cereals. It took a ton, but we went there. We discussed our weekends. Sophie had her birthday, and I had a wholesome weekend away in the countryside with my mum and my sister. And then we have some really creepy weird, a lot of family dilemmas. But I will say, it's a juicy one. Enjoy.

Enjoy. Hello, friends. We're back. Hi, guys. Oh, yeah, I had my birthday. Hi, Melissa bought me the most incredible present guys. She got me these vintage Chanel earrings with my baby's bathstone in there. They were so cool. I honestly opened it and I was like, I came down, I was like, Jamie, she's ever seen.

And I was like, you are so good at present giving. I was buzzing when I got that. I was like, I fucking nailed this. You know, I went, I started online shopping that day for your Christmas, for your birthday present. But I thought, can I just say, that's not happening again. That was extra special because babies. coming and blah blah blah i was like that's not a normal present because i was like you are always that good you are you're really good you're very very generous for presents and you're very

thoughtful guys these earrings are so fucking cool i got them and i was like do i give them myself yeah i'm so surprised and i actually said to toby i was like is it really bad if i keep them and he was like yeah you can't keep them feels like they are fucking nice he's like why you just get yourself appell i don't do that also they don't exist like i know they're vintage i know I now, I'm like, that's my thing to get you a good present because I'm like, you nailed it. Like, I got asked when I opened them. And I was like, you know how I saw them. Celia was showing another pair that they had that were really big, Chanel ones, turquoise, but they were huge.

And I was like, oh, my God, that's quite cool. That's a good thought. And they had these other ones on there. And I was like, what's the vintage shop? Celia. Celia. Oh. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Okay, great. Okay. Well, I've got loads to look at it. I know what I'm getting you. I really thought about it all weekend. It literally played my... I bring them downstairs and Jane goes,

she's a good friend. Guys, they're so cool these earrings. I'm so charred. I'll bring them in. I'll wear like an all-black outfit. Also, when I'm in summer. I was like... I knew you'd love them.

Also, they're not too in your face, Chanel. Like, the Chanel's like really small because it's like so old. So sheiky down, so it was like... I'm really proud of it. I was like, oh my God, and I opened this little pot and in there's this thing.

I was a bit upset with the lack of like gift wrapping that they did. I swear I was. gift wrapping. It was absolutely perfect. Did you get my note in that too? Yeah, I got your note. And I don't know why I don't think I've ever seen your handwriting.

Probably because I don't ever write cards. And I was like lovely handwriting, but it was just not what I expected at all. And I generally don't think I've ever seen your handwriting, which really threw me off. I don't think I've ever seen yours. I wouldn't be able to recognise it. You know how some friends can like tell it? Oh, that's such and such. I'm like, I would never be able to tell.

We don't. We're not. We're not. And this wasn't a card. This was a piece of paper. Oh, you guys. It was like off the notepad on the such. That'll be.

No, they were so stunning. I had a really nice, wholesome weekend. I went to the Roseworm. We get there and they like upgrade us and we're like in this incredible suite. And then I walk into the room. I've uploaded them all on my Instagram. I couldn't see the suite though. Oh no, I didn't really take it many of the sweet.

But anyway, they had all my favourite snacks. And I was like, Jamie, did you organise us? He was like, no. They have like listened to the podcast and worked out that I like popcorn, pistach donuts and like peanut butter. Like, it was insane. Oh, my book. Oh, sweet. And then they got me a smiths and notebook. I did see that.

And then also the book that you know that I got engaged in, we went to the bar and met you and your brother, scarves. They got me like the coffee table book of that. And they were like, I know, so generous and so thoughtful. And then we went and had a pie downstairs. We shared a chicken and delicious mushroom pie. And we had a leek soup for starters. Really random food. But very, like, wholesome, like, cozy.

winter's night meal that is and then I had the best pregnancy massage I've ever had kept waking myself up snoring Jamie was in the room next to me and I was like I'm in shock at myself I was like and I was like what the hell

so funny so I'm me as well but maybe I do small and um you probably don't normally because you take your mouth up at night you probably don't know I take my mouth up

and also I think I was like on my back for the first time I feel like that you're gonna snore right like I know I was like it was really annoying because it was like intruding my massage because I kept having to be like, stay awake, stay awake. It was absolutely elite and I think I'm going to book one after the baby shower again.

Gorgeous. Because it was the best I've ever had. The bed was literally made for a pregnant person. Oh my God, how wonderful. How long was it? Just long and like big and like they could sit it up. Oh no, it was one hour. One hour.

I know. I might book him for two hour. You need two hours. I'm going to. Because I start counting down the time. Do you do that? Yeah. Well, no, I don't.

What, in your head? You're literally like 59 and 58. Well, I like, kind of like not as specific as that, but I had a massage on the weekend. And I was like halfway through. I'm like, I know it's coming to an end. When they always can't relax. Yeah. And I'm like, fuck, I'm halfway through.

And then I'm like, what I'm thinking about is the massage coming to an end rather than what the massage is like. But that's the sign of a good massage. Sometimes I'm like, get this over and over and it. It's like if the temperature's not right, the noises aren't right. I've stopped a masseuse twice in my life. Yeah, they've been so bad. I've had the one where there was water dripping on my back and I was like, is he. And I was like, is he dripping oil and it was his sweat?

dripping on my back I had another man who got two wooden spoons and massaged my legs with two wooden spoons and I don't want to be I don't want to be rude it was really

as he walked in Jamie was like gaming and he was like why is this man in our house and I was like Jamie this man's about to give me a massage thinking in my head I can't get naked

and lie there with this man mine was fabulous everyone on the weekend so you went dressed on my and so-jo farmhouse. We didn't stay at farmhouse, but we stayed at... Oh.

The Samana, oh, my God, the massage was so delicious. No, it is so good. Do they... Oh, you went to the spot? Yeah. Oh, nice. And then we went around these, like, hot spring thing. Me and my sister did that circuit.

It was so fun. And then we had the... I had a massage and my mum and my sister had a facial and they were like, fucking out, it was amazing. It's like the heated beds and like... It's the cozy beds. The massuse was so good. And I put firm.

I clicked firm. Yeah, you must. normally I'll do medium and I was like fuck it I'm going for firm I had a gorgeous gorgeous massage from Anna Trudeau's lymphatic massage she was a Brazilian lady it was just unbelievable we'll leave her link maybe in the description

if anyone wants a lymphatic massage does this happen to you right obviously not not you're pregnant when you're lying on your front and they do that they start with like pushing pressure on like your hips and your shoulders and like down your spine and they push so hard on the back of my neck sometimes this just happened to me twice

that might and it goes and then I'm like I need to cough yeah and then I'm like trying not to cough because I don't

like interrals and then I'm like embarrassed I need to cough so I'm like trying to like get rid of the feeling but it's happened to me quite a few times

it's like on average every massage which for so if it's quite a lot I'm not joking that's really annoying do you just go like or is it their fault

or is it because we've got a bony like Adam's apple vibe no I think it's their fault it really irritates me and I also get it when people go like if they do a lymph massage down like here it says a reflex there that triggers the same

thing and it my eyes water I'm like me too like if I go to a face gym hands sometimes I'm like yeah and I'm like and I say to them I'm like oh I think I've got like a triggers well and they're never had that for and I'm like yeah you have because it happens me every time I'm so happy that you've said that yeah I would like to know I had a head and neck massage also on Thursday Of course, she's full of massage. I do. I need to hear about your weekend. Actually, maybe that was on Friday and then I had my full massage on Sunday. She went, Melissa went to the countryside for a lovely retreat with the mother and her sister.

It was so fun. They went to Bissar Village and did some girls shopping. You've not told me what you got. Loads of stuff. You've not told me one single thing. We did some damage in Jimmy Choo, Chloe. What shoes? Wires out.

We went to town. You haven't showed me one thing. Guys, I thought she came out empty-handed. The Bista Village was, you know, so. sometimes you'll go and it'll be like in jimiti for example they've got one shitty rack and it's discounted and everything else is full price everything in jimmytie was 70% off because it was 50% off plus an extra 20 because we had this VIP scanning thing why it was so my sister being the travel agent it was fucking amazing guys I can't even explain did you fill up a whole car with bags

and then we had like the service where they take the bags and they go to the apartment with it so you're walking around bag free so it kind of like lulls you into false sense to that you're not shopping and it's fucking amazing. We got there at 11 and we left at 6.30. I was exhausted and I was like I'm honestly knackered like I need a sweet picnic out like halfway through the afternoons. We did that. We had like the lovely Chinese food. It was delicious. Oh, they've got a new Chinese restaurant. I've been there for years. You need to go. You need to go. God, you got it just in the nick of time.

And also you've got to go on a Monday. Don't go on the weekend. You got to. to go, it's still busy but better. So good, so. Wait, is there anything that you could tell us that you got that was like an absolute 10 out 10 by? Jimmy 2 is a lot of boots, a lovely pair of like knee high boots. They're very sexy. Healed. I'll show you on the weekend.

I'm going to wear them on Friday. What's she doing on Friday? I don't, Toby and I are going for dinner, but I'm going to, I know I'm going to wear them. You know, you've got something new. It spikes a bit, a little bit, no. It's like there's an essence of like cowboy in there. I can't picture that from Jimmy too. No, I know.

I need to show you. And they've got some studs on the front too, like this small section of stubs, but like a really cool shape. They're like, I need to show you. I'm not describing it very well. They're really cool. And then you'll wear them and then we can reshare it on this platform.

So you can all just join in on the farm. Anyway, guys, I urge you all to go to Bister Village because they've got everything. I know. So much better. When I had like, with like ex-boyfriends when you had, when you lived in the countryside, there was nothing to do. So like, we'll go to Bister on Saturday and we're just like mid-thran.

Now I look back, they must have been like, fucking how this is that. Like, just following you around. No, they'd always want to go to Ralph Lauren and get some shirts. Ralph Lauren had really good stuff too. They'd get a T-shirt from Ralph Ren actually. Random. And white company, all of that stuff.

They've got everything. Yeah, they really did. Makeup, really discounted. I must go. Anyway, what else? What else? So I got really, really savvy on my emails. I became a real business woman.

Okay. Out of nowhere. Didn't that you could log into your email? I was just like on it. No, no, it's still 2,000 un-wracked, but I was throwing the emails out. So they once bought a new laptop because she couldn't remember the password to her emails on her old laptop. Or something it happens is she's like, I need a new laptop. And that laptop is, God knows where.

Don't have it. Don't have it. I think it's somewhere in this office. Someone's just like, there's a laptop roaming up. It's been reused. Anyway, I'm like C-Cing Jamie into these emails. I'm quite strong, you know, passionate emails. Like, I was really like being like, don't fuck with me.

Who are these emails are going to? Just no business. Business women. Anyway, Jamie calls me up and he goes, so, are you using ChatGBT, TBT? Why? He goes, you don't change the font and you don't change the hyphens. Like, it's so obvious that you're using Chatch, BT. I was like, are you joking?

I looked at everyone's emails. I like, one font. I'm all of mine. And then there's these hyphens. He was like, you need to put it onto WhatsApp, copy and paste, take the hyphens out. I was like, oh my God, I fired off. About eight emails, like really being punchy to like some seriously like big dog men. Would they know that you were using chat GPT?

Well, some were younger people. I know in here. There was a few. Like I was in a real, I was in a real feisty mood and I thought, do you know what? Stop fucking with me. I'm going to be a garb boss. And I thought, I don't have to worry anymore. I've got chat TBT.

Off I go. Eloquent email pops and Jamie called me and I'm like, I'm distraught. I'm absolutely distraught. Well, hopefully they won't know. what you have to do? They would know. You asked chat GPT to write it how you would write it. No, I did do that. They were eloquent emails. It was the font was so different in the hyphens where I free out the fucking word. And Jamie was like, it couldn't be more obvious. But I was like, well,

they must, if they know, then they use it too. So fuck that. I bet they do. Apparently some law firms, my sister, one of my friends, both her sisters are lawyers, they're not allowed to use chat TBT for certain jobs because the company says we don't allow chat GBT. And they have a software where they can tell if you used it or something. I'm like, what? It is so scary. It really is so scary. Melissa introduced it to me. Guys, chat GBT. I've got all these different files. I've told you this. No, I don't know about the file thing, but I was using the wrong app, wasn't I? No, bless how I speak so. She was like, it's not very good. I was like, what are you on about? It's fucking incredible. Then she'd show me the app and I was

like, that's why it's shit. You're using some budget version. I must have got you. A jupe. A jeep. I know. A jeep. It's not very bad. Now I've got it, I like, every night I just, I'm bored. I'll just throw them some questions. Halloween's coming up. So my friend Scott's having a party in his house and everyone's going, which is so exciting. What the frigger you wear it?

I think we're going to go as posh and becks. Unbelievable. Toby's going to have to shave his head. Get some big diamonds, bigger than the ones he already wears. Maybe he'll borrow yours. What are you going to wear? What are you going to wear? I don't, well, Victoria's just got straight hair and a blackout

with her stomach out on a huge chain. I need to see it. Oh my God, I know exactly. But you've got to do your hair and a bob. She doesn't have a bob in this era. She's got her long, dark hair, and it's really straight. That's a sleigh. That's a really good.

Oh, I know this one. Yeah. Yeah. That's like the classic red carpet. Also, so fucking easy. You've got that outfit. I've got those trousers for you. I can make that whole outfit happen.

I just need a big, big cross. Look at that cross. Yeah, and you can get that off like Etsy. Yeah. She looks AI in that. I think they've. Oh, God, I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. Do you remember last year when we're like, we're going to go to Hyde? Ken Roof Gardens just have a girly night. What I've happened. That was a year ago. What the actual, that was two weeks ago to me. That's weird. Did he ever go for supper? No, we didn't do anything. Next year, oh, I'm going to have a baby. Don't think I'll be partying, will I? I'll be babing and I'm trick-a-treating, maybe.

Slight hook up there. Sometimes where do you think that? And I think, oh, God, no. You can be a part of the outfit. A hundred percent. Or like finding Nemo and. Or like finding Nemo and. they're the Nemo and I'm Dory and Jamie is the Pelican Jamie could be the one that's like in the tank Oh I could be the girl that like shakes

Nemo No that's scary that's bad With the braces Yeah that's really bad That used to scare me a lot As a child Really used to scare me I couldn't bear her

She terrified me That was frightening And when she shook him so much It was so distressing I got I so remember that too It was distressed all time watching that Anyway so yeah If anyone can anyone

right in what they're going as is Halloween I'd love to know anything unique it's just like hard everything's been done alas harder when you're going as a duo it is harder I mean it's like Britney Spears and Justin Bieber or it's it's Posh and Beaver or it's

it's posh and no my friend Mills her boyfriend's not going because she's few me she was like I wanted to go as the bunny and the vicar from Bridget Jones I was like that is unbelievable oh that's if I were you I would want to do that but Toby won't want to do that He probably would. He wouldn't care.

But you going as the bunny, great outfit. Just you can really be Slotsville. Yeah. Like you really... Because you're getting away with it because it's Bridget Jones. Yeah. It's Halloween, of course. And it's not just any old bunny rabbit.

It's Bridget Jones. Yeah. One of my friends is going as Claudia Winkelman. That's good. Oh my God. I'm obsessed with her. Me too. She's just so attractive in such a youth.

Committed. Committed to that look that has just been going forever and ever for her. I know. You know she based that off like some man. She saw a man who had that eyeliner in the hair And she thought I'm gonna When she got into the industry That's gonna be my look

And she's been committed to it She said it somewhere It's also the white lips and the really like fake tan face I know but did you see Gabriette brought back the white lip The Mac white lip And it looked sick on her when she did it And then when she was putting on the coloured ones I was like ooh I like the wide

But I tried it the other day Wouldn't look nice on me Oh it's bad on me It's really really bad It would make me literally like a dead person But I just fucking amazing. What did you think about the Alex Cooper and Kim Kardashian episode? Didn't wash it.

Don't you listen to it. Fascinating. Firstly, Kim Kardashian reminds me of a bit of Bella. So calm. Secondly, she insinuates that Kanye has cheated on her, which was really interesting. She basically says it. She's like, someone cheated on me. And then Alex is like, did you leave them?

And she's like, no, because I needed to make sure that they were mentally well when they told me. Like, it was so obviously him. She basically says everything. Like, she doesn't hold any calms. I'm going to listen on the way home. Yeah, I need to finish it. I mean, it's quite fascinating. Fuck, you get some good guests on.

Listen, this pregnancy, I've done eight whole months of not wanting anything sweet. This last in, I am only one sweet. Interesting. It's all day, every day, like my morning thing I want sweet. Oh, my God. Which is not me. I want the pancakes. I want the cake.

I want, like, the ice cream. Shreddies tell me, do you put sugar on your shreddies? Do you have them playing? I can have either or. I love them playing. Same. I can't. I do think shreddies were sugar as elite as well.

Never had it. And I don't want to try it. No, it is very good. I'm so content with my original shirley. But that for me is enough. Can I just say if you put shreddies with milk, sorry, and then you put it in the microwave.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. It's absolutely 10 out 10. It's like some people do that with their own wita books. Yeah, I also have done that with them. It's like Reddy Brack. Ready Brack is 10. Oh!

One of the best things ever and cold Reddy Breck is lean back. It's even better. Ready Brack. You know what I would love as well if I ever had a lump in the ready brack? I was like, oh, I'm so lucky. It's funny. I've got love with my ready rack. A big lump and then you'd like in your mouth.

I was like chewy and delicious. Yeah. Great nuts. And then also golden syrup on the top of the ready brach. No, see, I do ready wrap completely plain. No sugar, nothing. My mom made that mistake giving me golden syrup and I can't have it without. The hats for me.

And it's the golden syrup with that like, the like lion on the side. Oh yeah, the proper OG one. Also, chill. Cheerios. Honey Cheerios. Yeah, like those. Again, not as much as the shreddies for me or the Wheatibix. Wheatibis are a bit sad because you only get two.

You can't really go OTT with a bowl of wheatibis. And it's gone in the split second. Just straight out of you. I had one two days ago and it was the first wheatibics. I've had in like four years. Why are you? I was in a hotel and it was on the buffet and I thought, don't tempt me.

So I had it. Just with one bit, one with a piece of milk. No, I had two. whole milk and then I, instead of sugar, I did honey, did the job. Wasn't as elite as the sugar. It was good. Also, if you put raspberry jam with wheat biscuits, it's also elite. Yeah, elite. That's what my dad does. See, there's so many different, like, people have so many unique preferences of how they have their wheatobics and how they have their cereal. Yeah. I'm not like a sweet girl cereal, like, crunchy nut cornflakes. I love it, but I actually genuinely would choose

to have, like, plain shreddies. Same. With the cold crisp. Same. The cold, it's like refreshing. I'm not salivating over it. It's so, so good. And like, you know, when you get about late after something, and you've had dinner, but you're like, I barely ate dinner. Just that bowl of cereal is just ten out of town. It just fucking hits the spot. When I was at university, this is no joke. You need to get any champion to, like, voice note this in. I genuinely just ate cereal.

I didn't know what to cook for myself. I didn't have the time. I hated the kitchen. So I would get delivered long life milk. Fuck me so. Because I hated going into my kitchen. I wasn't friends with anyone on my shore. I never had the key for it.

I was always locked out. I lost it on day one, classic me. So I was like, I can't really. So what I do is, and I open the window, it's actually quite rancid. And I put my milk, like, outside, so it was Newcastle. So it was cold. Perfect, perfect. A little sort of, like, man-made fridge there.

And actually, I will say long-life milk has a better taste than fresh milk. It's got a creamier taste. And I don't like it. It's like, I could always taste its long-life milk. It tastes very foreign. It tastes like foreign milk. It tastes. That is exactly what it is.

Because borough milk is long life. They don't get fresh. And then I would get boxes and boxes of cereal and I would eat them. And Emily Champion says, because me and Emily Champion, like, really became close and, like, Farsher. And she says that I used, she'd come to my room and I would give her a hot ribina. Oh my God. That's back in the day my sister used to have hot ribina. Because I was freezing and I didn't drink tea and it was Newcastle.

I had a kettle in my room. Perfect. Hot ribina. Hot ripeena. And then I would have colossal amount of bowls or cereal. for like my dinner and I would give it to her of her dinner

and then years later she told me she hates cereal and milk makes her literally gag and she said she used to be like and she just felt too why did she fucking said anything

I don't know because I think she did it on the first day so we barely knew each other and it was too late and she had to commit to him and I was like but I force

I do cereal for years and I would always do shreddy so it was like a plain cereal she was like oh I mean also that long my milk is death Okay, dilemma one. Hi, girls. First day, I want to say how much I love you both in the podcast. I have a little dilemma regarding one of my best friends. For background, me and my group of friends all met at uni down south. We've just graduated and while a few people have stayed on, to do their masters. Most of us have moved away for jobs. I live up north and one of my close

friends, let's call her Amy, lives a few hours drive away. Recently, we made plans to spend the weekend together, dinner, drinks and a sleepover at hers. I happen to mention our plans in passing to another friend in the group, let's call her Charlotte, who is still at uni. She was so annoyed that we'd arranged me up without her. I tried to explain that we didn't leave her out deliberately, but she said she was hurt. She wasn't invited. For context, she's all. always been like this. If anyone in the group makes plans without her, she gets quite defensive about not being invited. Now I feel like I can't make any plans with my friends without inviting Charlotte or without worrying that she'll find out and get upset. But at the same

time, I don't think I should have to invite her to everything. Have either of you been in this kind of situation before with a needy friend who gets jealous or upset if they're not included in every plan? Love you girls. Yeah. I think everyone has that to some extent in a friendship group. Like there's always somebody. It's so annoying. because I don't know what you're doing. It's so annoying and you're like it's quite childish, I guess. You're not going to be invited to anything.

I don't care if I don't get invited things. I'm like, thank God I can sit at home. I know, me too. Like no part of me cares. Neither. But that's that sense, that's just like you're either a sensitive person or you're not. Yeah, I was going to say that's also me

you have confidence in your friendships that it doesn't mean anything, that it doesn't go a level below or above. I think, yes. if it's different if you have like a group dinner and someone's left out if you have a one-on-one with someone like which this is sounding like you can't it's weird to them be like why didn't you invite me yeah it's so intense i would never fucking say that someone i think at uni it's very different because you are younger and it's almost like we're all equal at uni like we're all a group

together we should do everything together when you come into london like everyone's got their own shit going on and like or you go wherever you move after uni everyone's got their own shit going on we've got jobs we've got this we got that it becomes lesser apparent but uni is almost like I remember like people would go into like town for lunch and like you would feel about upset if like you would you hadn't got the tax sure I get that especially if it's like there's a normally a solid group of four or whatever and then suddenly they don't message you one day and it's just the three of them having like a day in town or a day at lunch or whatever yeah that feels personal if it's just like one of you left out of something that's normally always all of you all the time.

Yeah. I do get that. I think as you grow a part, not a part, but like you grow into more independent people when you get older, these things will happen. She will also get her own separate friends maybe or maybe she will also go on a solo coffee date with the other friend or just you and then she'll understand that actually that's not a big deal and that's okay. So maybe you should go and see her one on one and not make it seem. like anyone's being missed up like just make it casual and then it seems like okay that

people are allowed to hang out one-on-one you know in my friendship group if someone's like I feel left out they're like oh can I join they're like yeah right come join it like it's not it's not a thing yeah I would just say oh my god can I come yeah also make her feel better about it doesn't no harm in just being like look I never wanted to make you feel left out it was such a casual thing she's not doing anything delicious I'm really sorry I promise you like there will be times where you and her will go on a one-on-one coffee date and you and I will and me and her will probably again and that does not mean anything personal at all just make a careful matter about it love you love you okay dilemma two hey girlies i have i have a

dilemma for you my boyfriend and i have been together for nearly four years and have just graduated from uni i love him so much and we have so much fun together but i can't help but feel the relationship with his mama is a little bizarre oh no whenever he's home his mom is the priority they go they go on lots of dinner dates but whenever i suggest we go our he always says he's too tired or can't be or can't because he has to spend time with his mum. The weirdest moment was when we were on the phone one night and he said he had to go because he was about to watch a film with his mum.

I know that only TV in his house is in his bedroom is in his bedroom. So I half jokingly said, ooh, are you two going to have a cuddle or something? And he didn't take it well. Obviously not. That's like a bit of a weird thing to say. Like imagine saying that. Jamie, like, are you all right? It's like, Jamie's saying to me, you and your dad going to her, I'll be like, you're fucking weird.

Obviously he's not going to take it well. I get that maybe it was slightly out of line, but the whole thing has made me feel slightly uncomfortable. Sorry, that is really icky. They went into his bedroom, like, is unacceptable on every single level for me. I really don't like that. There comes an age where it's like, probably shouldn't do that. I'm not jealous. I just can't seem to understand how the relationship works.

I completely respect that they want to spend time together, but I feel I'm constantly competing with her. her, or that she thinks I'm trying to take her son away, which I'm not. Have you got any advice on how to deal with boys and their mums? I think you need to watch Girlfriend on Prime. Have you watched it yet? No, I'm saving it for Matt Lee. I'm very exciting. So I feel like that's what you need to watch.

And I don't know whether that would help her or not. Not a spoiler, but like someone. Someone dies. Someone dies. So maybe not taking that is what I'm going to predict. Don't take it. I wouldn't follow the advice from that. But it's a very normal thing.

think for mothers when they have a son or an only son especially it's a weird one i mean we've had this conversation before i'm like i feel a certain level of protectiveness over my brother but not to the point where i'd be like you can't spend any time with your girlfriend you have to spend it all with me like that's just so weird like who the fuck's doing that yeah and i don't feel like your mom has that oh my god my mom doesn't have it at all i'm like more protection obviously she does but like my mom's like you just want to let the kids like learn their own lessons like she's so like i find it weird Like I don't even necessarily think this mom It's like being weird with the girlfriend

I think they just have a weird relationship together They just have an extra close relationship and they need to break off Which is weird And like look I tell you Jamie when I fast met him It was quite full on them The relationship with his mother And I thought

Oof this is a lot of calls a day Like over everything You know Oh should we have Should we make a board egg I'll just call my mum and ask how to make it I'm interesting That's just like force of habit

That you always have to help them grow out of. Yeah. It is peculiar. You know what? Because with a girl doing that to your mum, you don't think twice about it.

Because I would probably do the same thing. I would do. With my mum, but because I'm a girl, it's not seen in the same way. But then it makes sense why the moms have different relationships with the girlfriend because I probably change their relationship.

You would have changed that dynamic. And so then, not that we do have a bad relationship in any stretch of the imagination, but like you can see how it would be like, well, now you've got a girlfriend or a wife. You've taken, yeah. I think I would say something to the boy.

I would say, just so you know, I think your relationship's a little bit intense. It's very intense. Again, I could go very... I know, but sometimes you... You have to say it sometimes. You've got to be honest. Otherwise, you just let things happen.

Yeah. Like, you have to say, like, that's unacceptable. Like, I have to say, Jamie, like, you can't call your mummy in front of me. Like, I find it not nice. And I couldn't... I could have been nice about it the whole time. And he would have still been saying it.

Oh, God, no. So you really do just have to send a ground. I think the difficulty is you've already started off by being a bit passive-aggressive saying the cuddling thing, which was a bit too far. You shouldn't have done that because now you've made him feel like his relationship with his mum is weird, which it might not be. They might just be close. She might be a single mom. He might be the only child. And they've just got this special bond, which is so far.

fine but you probably should have just as Sophie said worded it to him like I would prefer it if you weren't so intense with your mum and maybe put a little bit more time into me because I do get a bit jealous and I get your mum's important but like I would like some nurturing time too for like our relationship and like I want to be taking out for dinner because you take your mum maybe he only goes out for dinner with the mum because the mum pays true also like why aren't you getting invited to the dinners with the mum that's pissing me off to that's a bit of a red flag and a bit icky and like I completely get it like I would have rage inside me about this whole situation I really would not like it I'd be like you're just weird it's also such annoying thing because you can't get that pissed off because it's like they're not exactly like cheating on you with another girl it's the mum so it's like such a weird barricade because I'm like how pissed off can I be am I going to sack this relationship off you could also really try and become best friends with the mum I was thinking that that's obviously an option and and if you're like a smart, clever, calm girl

and not hot-headed like me, that would be the route you go down. God, if someone said to me, like, choose your dad, having your dad in your life or your boyfriend, I don't know what I'd fucking do. Having like an extremity like that is really hard. Like, even I'm married and like he's going to be the father of my child. Like if someone said choose your dad or Jamie, I'd be like. Because if they don't get on and it's like you come to blows.

Because in the girlfriend, it's like you have to choose mommy or me. Yeah, that's awful That's just so you could never wish that up on anybody Like it's such It's quite a lot, you know It's such a miserable thing I think it's really different When people have children

Because the parents, the grandparents then have to conform Because they like want their grandchildren But until then it's like doggy dog Yeah You could just get pregnant Okay right Keep us updated

Yeah please sorry I don't know if that was any help at all We went around in circles then I'm sorry Yeah it's a really hard one but I think the one thing you can know is that I think a lot of people go through this and also like don't go too heavy up with the passive aggressive comments try and be a bit kinder about it but definitely bring up definitely bring up and also don't take it too personally because

at the end of the day is his mum he doesn't know any different dilemma three hey girls I have a massive dilemma for you both so I was on face time with my long distance boyfriend and we were having a conversation about his wanking habits I love how honest we are on this podcast me too now As a 20-year-old woman, I'll admit I'm not exactly clued up on the topic. We were talking about what happens when he finishes. I'd assume he'd say that he comes into a tissue or on himself, but no. But no. No, he does not.

Instead, he said, I usually come on my bedroom carpet and then mush it in with my foot. And it gets worse. Oh, fuck off. Sometimes he goes into the corner of his room and we'll do it there instead. No, no. There's crusty carpet. Shut up. I don't believe it for a second. I don't fucking believe it for a second.

Now, I might not be an ex-wear, but I'm pretty sure this isn't normal behaviour. I've asked my best mate, and she told me I absolutely had to bring this to you to. I'm sad. We've been together a year, and he's always seen like a pretty normal guy, or so I thought, guys, he must have been joking. I'm sorry, there's no way. But honestly, this has freaked me out, and I don't want to start an argument. How do I go about addressing this situation?

What is it? Shady and Radio, I honestly was thinking I need. need to call Jamie or we need to call Toby and say is, do you think this is a royal dynamic? Because there's no, Raffy, do you think that's possibility? We are men. But like the thing is for me is that's crusty, the carpet's crusty. Men are vile and sometimes, men are pigs sometimes. So I'm like, I kind of do believe it. I kind of believe it.

What's weirdest about this, right? I obviously think it's really weird that he's ranking into his carpet and mushing it in with his feet that I then don't know if he's I don't believe it for a second. I think it's so weird that he's thought that was acceptable to tell her. It's like a boy being like, yeah, I picked my nose all the time and eat it. Like lie to us. Yeah, but he didn't, did he? So that's probably the type of boy that would say, oh, I've come into my carpet.

So I should end up on my feet. What the fuck? I'm just picturing how crusty his carpet must fall onto your feet. Also, there should be a white fucking stain, like right next to your bed. Also, your feet in are covered and come. They fucking stink Also we all know Getting cum off is really difficult

When it hits water It goes some weird texture And it's like water resistant It's like it turns into slime Effectively I'm like what's happened here And it just doesn't go Need a lot of soap

You need a lot of soap His feet must stink His feet must fucking And they must be crusty Also what's up with the corner of the room There's something weird going on here I am don't know what to do about this bloke what I would tend to do is say ooh if he said that

true I would be off the bat absolutely disgusted like don't fucking break that habit right fucking now don't tell me shit like I would actually make him feel a bit embarrassed so don't fucking tell me shit like that please I don't want to fucking know I love I love it when you get like that because I know that's exactly what you do with the face shit expression everything and I just it fills me with joy I so know I mean you need to embarrass him like Why does he feel okay telling you that? As Sophie said, like, why did he think that that was going to, like, lie? There's no need to tell you.

There's no need. Also, like, I will say, I do think, I know that we're obviously talking about it now, but I do think that sometimes men should just be a bit like, oh, I don't want to, like, they shouldn't give you all the answers. Like, I don't know enough about whanking because Jamie doesn't answer me enough. Because if I knew everything, I'd probably be repulsed with him. I also don't really ask the questions. I have occasionally.

I am fascinated. He doesn't give me answers. I get snippets over time and I add it all together in my little mind but in the time he won't really give me an answer he'll be like not that much or don't know if everyone's different it's very vague

I feel like Toby would give us a lot more intel yeah no I think he'd be quite vague as well actually so it's so funny isn't it being in a relationship with boys like this like I am finding out stuff about Toby now and I'm like how have you failed to fucking tell me that after us being together for four years

oh trust me and he's like oh I just, I don't know. I'm like, such important information. I'm like, well, you purposely are keeping that secret? Oh no, I just, I don't know. I just thought maybe I already told you. I'm like, what the fuck? Right, I think you're just going to have to tell him straight up.

This is unacceptable. We don't like that. Also, like, tell me that shit. Early on, like, I don't want to know that they're wanking without me. Like, I want to think that you are only ever getting off to me with me, not even behind me to a photo. Like, I just want it, you know? Yeah.

But they're long distance. I gotta give the boys up there. Oh, yeah, sorry. Well, still, he should just be like only when I speak to you. Just fucking lie. Just don't tell me that you're coming and smithing in the carpet.

With your toes. Make him feel embarrassed about that and be like, we need to break that habit right now. Yeah. We love you. We love you. Good luck. Please tell us what he says.

Yeah. I really need to know. Me too. That's the end of the episode. Bye, guys. Love you so much. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next week.

That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But, God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well, then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad-free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing.

It's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favourite app. How cool is that? Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Instabio.