Wednesdays - 110: My wedding hookup was with THE GROOM??? ft. Toby Watkins

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

Wedding fever is officially in the air!! As Sophie was already in Spain and in full wedding prep mode, we're joined by Melissa’s boyfriend, Toby Watkins, for a special episode. We’re discussing keeping your hinge profile updated when you're seeing someone, navigating best friend break-ups and accidentally SLEEPING with the groom!!! This week we are drinking Bowl Grabber Alvarinho! Rating: 8/10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register by March 15th. Additional terms apply. learn more at wealthsimple.com slash match fanduel casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying i do who wants this last parachute i do enjoy the number one feeling winning in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Melissa are you a doctor uh I want to be but I'm not I'm not a doctor either and we're not

psychologists and we're not experts in anything in fact we just challenge all the shit so and we love giving you guys advice but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help We love giving you guys advice. But as we said, we love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Hello, guys. Toby's on the app today because Sophie's away at her, well, she's obviously not going to my right now

because we're going to the wedding, but she's in full wedding prep. She's in full wedding prep. She got me, sadly. She's in Spain. She's in her boots. Yeah, and she's here for two episodes exciting sophie was actually going to join us um for a little like come in but they've had a major

drama with some sort of alcohol for the wedding delivery it's all go go go over there so we're just taking the reins we're just taking the reins filling the boots we need to get into the nitty gritty of our wedding prep oh yeah we've got literally four days until we fly so we fly really early on friday morning as in 6 a.m we gotta fly so we've got to be at the airport at 4 a.m yeah which means we're gonna leave at yours at 2 a.m no no no that's like 2 45 an hour and 15 to get to get sure sure no Sure. Sure. No traffic that time of the morning. Cool. In and out. So we've got to do that.

So this week, I'm just going to tell you guys. I've also got three days to, I've realized there's a pool party, so I've got three days to get some muscles. Dracking his turbo. Yeah. Yeah. You'll do it. You'll pull that out of the bag. Three days to get shredded and tanned.

Yeah. We can do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. So my prep, I'm having a facial today after this. Then I'm having another skin tightening facial situation in a few days' time. This is just your normal week. This isn't just wedding prep.

It's genuinely what you do every week. So I don't know why you're acting like it's any different. All right. And then I'm having my eyebrows done. And then I'm having my hair done. Lovely. Lovely. Normal Monday for you.

No. Then I'm also trying to move into my house. Yeah, you've got a lot on. Which is a logistical nightmare. So you've got your back here. So I promised Jamie, Toby's lovely roommate, Jamie, flatmate, not roommate. Roommate's very American. Yeah, that I was never going to be seen again, never staying at your house again.

And she's back from holiday and I'm back again. She's back for two nights, but that's normal. We're hopefully going to be in I tried to move in literally two days ago and it was just guys moving house is one thing but

knocking down rebuilding house and trying to move in is quite another and there's things that aren't completely right and I know there's

all these teething processes but it's I just feel like I haven't had my own space in months well it has been two months it's just a bit much and I know there's things that could be I just feel like I haven't had my own space yeah in months well it has been two months

it's just a bit much and I know there's things that could be worse but it's just a bit oof they do say a moving house is one of the most stressful things you'll do

and not only that you're building a house you haven't got a house well the moving of the house would be so easy compared to this yeah yeah yeah moving into one

into the other but at least it's all exactly how you want it when it well when it's done yeah it will be worth it at the end it's just a bit stressful

in the interim so we're flying out really early Friday morning can't wait there's this tournament I think there's like a paddle thing going on

we miss it so Toby's going to come and chill with the girls around by the pool which is exactly what he wants because Toby doesn't

really like playing sport so I'm like oh I'm just boys I'm so upset about the paddle that paddle tournament which i was there oh i hate the girls and wine so we're all gonna i messaged sophie like toby's gonna provide the eye candy for us lovely around the pool and then we've obviously got i think we've got like a dinner that evening that's the bit i'm at you know what i'm looking forward to the dinner more than the wedding it's like christmas eve compared to christmas you know what i mean

you've got the excitement the whole day you're not in it's like spring before summer sure you know yeah yeah it's all the build-up the anticipation getting ready it's always like and a nice linen shirt in the evening oh yeah our outfits are like coordinated slightly yeah remind me what you're wearing or is that well i think the episode's coming out actually maybe after so it's fine it's like an orange dress i've actually worn it before okay nice but um it's wearing a lovely linen shirt a purse full shirt i got and then prayer trousers and fresh pair of air force i might even just give these an even more of a scrub yeah get them ready i always think trainers actually can look really smart as long as they're clean they've got to be

clean they're gonna be box fresh you can't be wearing those dusty old Air Force that have been through the wars and back. Been through all those festivals. Oh, God, no. No, no, no. So then we've got the wedding the next day. Then the big day. Black tie. Gorgeous.

Stunned. I'm so excited. Sophie's dress is next level. Yeah. Don't know if I've spoken about it on here yet, but I've seen Sophie's like real, real dress. She liked her first fitting and it was very gorgeous and very emotional. did you cry I did when we put the veil on her really but when it was held out and and then Georgia was like holding her veil and I was like oh and then I

like cried a bit oh it was really magical but I have to walk down the aisle I'm quite nervous I hope there's like a rehearsal situation oh yeah there is there is there is and then so big wedding on Saturday and then Sunday 10 days pool party I don't know if there's pa a rehearsal situation. Oh yeah, there is. There is, there is. And then she has a big wedding on Saturday and then Sunday pool party. I don't know if there's paella. I feel like I've made that up. It's obviously like a barbecue or something. It's just going to be very cool. Very fun.

I've told Sophie to shotgun me the bedroom, well, ask the bedroom next to her. Oh yeah. So we can hear them consummate the marriage. Oh my God. They've already been married though, so that was already happening. Re-consummate the marriage.

Re-consummate the marriage. No, I don't want to listen to that. I just want to be close to Sophie. She's getting ready. Oh, I'm so excited about the whole thing. I also feel like there's nothing I'm going to be able to talk about for us. Like, what am I going to talk about? Yeah, I feel like this is almost being like your wedding as much as Sophie's.

After the wedding next week, we will be doing quite an enormous debrief. And Sophie will actually be on her honeymoon honeymoon which is a vital part of her marriage so you'll have me again there you go you could do it you're going to be on we're going to have Emily champion

you're going to have the girls do it who's also at Rise Made you guys know her she's been on the podcast and we're going to debrief about the wedding can't wait

stunning good stuff alright so wine for today Mr Watkins is going to struggle with this one oh god oh god he looks like he's about to throw up the pure sight of it I genuinely just had a All right, so wine for today. Mr. Watkins is going to struggle with this one. Oh, God. Oh, God, he looks like he's about to throw up

with the pure sight of it. I genuinely just had a moment. Bit of a wave. It looks delicious, though. If I wasn't severely hungover. Oh, no, no, no. Get rid of that frog in the throat. I'm trying.

Okay, right. What's the wine, then? Tell me, tell me. It is... Quite like the colourful's happy colors a bowl bowl grabber oh ball grabber from it's a ball grab as a portuguese white wine um it's a classic the portuguese classic is dry crisp and light-bodied with tastes of green apples pear citrus zest and grapefruit. Sounds very me. Lovely. Lovely.

What year is it? What vintage? I don't know. But normally, you know what? Normally white wine's like not old. It's normally only red wine. No, it's only red. All right, then give us a pour.

Don't mess about. Guys, I also haven't seen Tavi in like two weeks. Oh, yeah. So like there's like certain things we haven't told each other and it's just i also forget how long well thanks no no no why are you pouring me such a big glass oh well okay right sip you sit yeah hang on god that's a colossal glass i'm so sorry oh my god it's actually really really really nice oh yeah yum this is something called sweet or dry toby where we talk about various things.

We vote, basically, between the two of us if we reckon it's sweet or dry, as in nice or whatever. So, pillow talk in the morning, pre-brushed teeth, dry as fuck for me. You do it. Well, yeah, I have a thing. Toby doesn't like brushing his teeth.

I don't clean my teeth until I've had a coffee sometimes, which I know is grim, but it's like you know get it all done at one job whereas you literally wake up and clean your teeth i wake up before i've even said a word or like had a sip of water i'm up i brush my teeth yeah put some face cream on then that means that i then have to go and do it but you don't whereas if you're on a level playing but you don't baby i know you then just talk to me you go to my breast now i'm like well you haven't brushed teeth you need to sleep for eight hours and it's the morning so i think it's pretty dry i agree i think it is it's probably

sometimes not all i maybe this is tmi but like sometimes people like you just have morning sex and you don't brush your teeth then it's like don't face me yeah yeah that's the difference there's just logistical things that you do it's just like the unspoken yeah yeah rules strictly of like strictly in and out yeah morning situation oh fake tans the back i've never had to do that for you i maybe will fake tan how do you do your back then well to be fair i always fake tan my legs and my arms that's such a lie and okay so guys every single day of the year summer or winter i'm fake tanning my face that tan locks is all over my face and my neck and my chest because i don't ever let that maybe i need a bit of that right now i always offer to do it for you

and you always just say you always go yeah and then it comes in you're like oh no you can't be bothered it's the smelling of biscuits that I don't really like but my one doesn't smell of biscuits town lux is so good that is true so tanning the back I've never really to be fair I think there has maybe been one or two occasions where I've had a big glove on and just where I've had my back out for a dress and I've had to get down there but most of the time in the summer. Do you not just have like a line where you haven't done it? I've got quite flexible arms and I just push it down. But I would, I think it's quite sweet.

If I had to, I would ask you to just fake down my back. It's like the same as sun cream, rubbing the sun. It's quite a romantic part. Quite a sweet, helpful boyfriend. Okay, so this is obviously from a girl's perspective about a guy. So having a girl best friend. What do we think? I think it's quite sweet.

I think it's quite sweet. It depends on the level of closeness. because i've got like several guys that are yeah you've got two two or three guy best friends not yeah one of which is in a couple who is armani and jack who yeah the loveliest guy who now his girlfriend is now also like my best friend oh i will but um you don't you have so Toby has I met recently like quite a lovely we've got a great group of friends group of girlfriends but you've never spoken when I worked in an office used to work in a marketing job and I was like I was like really tight with all the girls in that office and I was the only guy it was like in that sort of ad world

where like there weren't really that many guys and if they were if there were men on the team they obviously worked in like finance and stuff right I was the only one on the like account management side who was a guy so I used to just I was like the gay best friend that wasn't gay yeah and I just chat with the girls all day lovely lovely time so I feel like you need to tap into your girlfriend I think I do a bit more I think it's a very sweet but I'm also very close with my brother's my brother's wife and my brother's fiance yeah they're like two girls I speak to the most I'd say other than you that is true but yeah my ones from school I kind of maybe need to reignite those you need to tap into that you're right I

met one of them as well and she was like married and she said you haven't married since I was 21 and I was like how has Toby Watkins not told me this information this is like vital to the friendship group like what the fuck yeah and then he goes yeah i said i also confessed my love to her and i told her how bad is okay listen to this i was 15 i think i was 14 or 15 years old at school and she was my best friend like and then but i just classic bloke took it a step too far and thought, no, she fancies me. On Valentine's Day, I confessed, even though she had a boyfriend who was two years above us at school. Oh, that was very punchy from you doing that. I know, right.

But he was a bit of a melt. Anyway, I confessed my love on Valentine's Day. I was like, I know we've been friends for like three years, but I've always fancied you. And I thought today's the day I'd like, you know that. I don't know how you feel. Sent the message like waiting oh no anyway we then went it was on the last day of term as well so we then went home for half term and I was back at home and I got a message being like oh that's so sweet but you're like my baby brother you've actually showed me these messages baby brother not even brother little brother that is as patronising as it gets yeah but it's just

shooting you down in a nice way that I'm gonna say big mistake from her because look how fit you are now sorry she should have

taken you up on that she's married now and we're mates again so yeah but like you need to tap back into those you obviously have

the baseline there of like sweet so having a girl best friend sweet very sweet okay right

should we crack on with the dilemmas let's do it. Dilemma one. Oh, it's a good one. Firstly, love the pod and you girls. Thanks for making my Northern Nike mute work more memorable. I've seen a boy for six weeks now.

Early days, I know. We literally hit it off from the first date and he told me he had never been on a better first date. He has put so much effort into planning dates and has been super keen we've also had a few sleepovers lovely oh stunning i know it's early and we haven't had the exclusive chat however he does seem to make it clear that he isn't seeing anyone else dating anymore he's been giving 110 and it's hard to not get attached when i feel like a couple however i, I'm feeling a bit confused. There's always a however or a but.

A few weeks ago, he changed one of his Hinge prompts to something I told him about, which he had no idea existed before I brought it up. I thought, okay, no big deal, as it is early. But I feel like it has gotten more serious as he has met my brother this weekend and has since changed one of his pics on Hinge to a selfie he sent me yesterday. And I've just read the rest of it it's not good as they say

bad things come in threes he's going on holiday tomorrow and he's already changed his location to where he's going sorry why are we sewed up that is thick obviously she's gonna see it no no no boys are so not smart i can't help it i don't think he's trying to be smart i can't help but feel a bit crazy maybe i've gotten too much touch to attach but i think it's hard not to when he's doing and saying all the right things and behaving like a boyfriend i'm just worried we aren't on the same page any advice would be great as i feel like i've already caught the feels and i can't help but feel upset um boys perspective then girls perspective so you hit it off six weeks you're six weeks into when you and i were dating oh this frog is really coming back i'm not letting you get on with the

dilemma no it's interrupting me um six weeks into when you and i were dating it was i wouldn't i was not trying to like pinpoint when that even was it's November so it was like December when did you delete the dating apps probably about four weeks in five weeks in fuck me you were still

chatty matty to other girls though weren't you no I wasn't actually wasn't there was one girl that I told you that I then

had to send a message like hey the date we organised I'm not going to go on it and then that was still coming out now that was it

no I was not a chatty patty to anyone else. I was locked in. Right. So what advice are we giving them? I do feel like if you really like someone, regardless of you wanting to be single, you can't help. You just get a tunnel vision. You're like, I actually don't really care about this. Those messages you used to get excited about getting from someone else.

You get a little buzz. You're like, I don't really care about her anymore because this is the person I want to be with. Someone just clouds your mind. So in my head, I'm feeling like, I personally would never bring it up or I want to have the conversation. But sometimes we have to just do things

that make us uncomfortable. Clearly he's on another page and you have to decide, am I going to keep going down this road and potentially get hurt because I'm getting the wrong way. I think you've got to bring it up but how does she do it

so maybe be like lol yeah make it funny I would make it funny and just be like lol how was your holiday yeah saw the location

changed on Hinge yeah tactical oh no is that a bit psycho no I don't think it is get rid of that frog I can hear it I'm trying

it's three it's three different frogs oh crikey it's also annoying you've been fine in the morning the moment you said I have to do the podcast

it's like I would say I think six weeks in you're you're well within your rights to maybe just say something be like look I'm actually not seeing

anyone else because I'm quite invested but like equally I understand if you want to just carry on being single that's fine also he said that he's they haven't had the exclusive chat have he's made it clear that he doesn't want to date he isn't seeing anyone else or dating anymore so if he's then

doing something that's contradicting that then you have every right to bring up just be like look i'm actually kind of doing the same as what you said but now i but i've obviously i'm not stupid like i have seen that on hinge and so so she's still on Hinge though, if she's seen it. Very true. Very true, very true. But maybe that's just to keep a close eye. One side of the story. So, okay, let's round this. I think, as you say, I think you just have the conversation,

but in a very light jokey way. Feel out. You start jokey and then you get a bit more serious. Feel out where he is with it. And you have to make a decision. Okay, do I keep going down this road with this guy? He's obviously not actually that serious about me, but it's just promising me the world.

Because sometimes people do that. sometimes people are very good at making you feel a certain type of way when actually they're doing something yeah yeah true and then maybe you do have to think okay well i'm gonna get hurt if i keep seeing this guy because i have feelings agreed agreed or he'll ask you to be his girlfriend lovely stuff it's done there you go win-win situation at least you know you know if you don't ask you don't yeah get a solid piece of advice from us unreal that was my last brain cell working together we've got three more to go okay good luck um okay so dilemma two uh my friend broke up with her boyfriend two weeks ago before a wedding which they were going to going to together as

the meals and everything had already been organized she decided to bring me along as her plus one instead i didn't know anyone else going but i love a wedding so i said yes gorgeous i love a wedding the wedding was outside of london so my friend had already booked a hotel room and i booked a separate room in the same place the night before my wedding the night before the wedding sorry quite an important part of information i was in the hotel but my friend had got an early night and i was having some drinks when a man approached me oh gorgeous oh sorry she's having some drinks alone in the bar this is like very gossip girl lost in translation vibes okay he was very good and looking he was very oh my god what is going on i'm so sorry i might have to take over um he was very good looking and we got drinking and talking after

quite a few drinks we went up to my room and one thing led to another. Game of Scrabble. We had a lot of fun. And in the early hours, he said, and I quote, I would love to stay the night with you, but I have got stuff to do tomorrow. Oh, my God. I know where this is going. I know this is going. So he asked my number and left.

I went to sleep, had breakfast and got ready for the... I know where this is going. Oh, my God. I feel really shooketh. Shooketh to the core I am. We go to the full church and take our seats and at the back, just before it starts, what is going on with my brain? I'm so sorry.

As I'm short and at the back, I don't see the groom until they walk up the aisle and we lock eyes. I wanted to die and you could see his soul leaving his body. So she shagged the groom. The groom. The groom. The groom. I wanted to die and you could see his soul leaving his body so she shagged the groom the groom the groom later that night after the meal speeches etc when everyone has had quite a bit to drink we bump into each other outside the toilets that's when he asks me if we can have a drink sometime

what the actual fuck I was speechless picking up a girl the night before his wedding and then asking me on a date at his wedding he's he then started to text and dm me so i've had to block him from everything as he started to get a bit aggressive do you think i should tell his wife oh my god this is tell the wife guys this is surely not true like this is movie worthy psychotic behavior from him fuck me but you know what scares me as well that people like that actually exist yeah I

I'm normally one to say don't get involved and stay out of it but at this point I would tell your friend no tell the wife no I would tell your friend and get your friend

to tell the wife because your friend oh yeah the friend who's yeah yeah yeah be like look this fucking happened and like I'm I can't live with the girl

if you think it's the right thing to tell the wife and you think we should we'll go together you give them an ultimatum. If you haven't told your wife by tomorrow, I'm telling her. I'm going to tell her. Oh, God, they've just got married.

That's horrific. Oh, God. And you know what? You won't be the first. If he's doing it on his wedding night, he's doing it all the time. Yeah, I know. Control, alt, delete. And then having the cheek to ask you out on a date.

Maybe they have an open relationship, but surely not. If they're getting married married that means no adultery and all that stuff normally getting married isn't it no that's awful god I'm quite shook

to my core tell the wife that's awful that's something out of a film don't tell the wife tell your best friend that you went to the wedding

where there's the plus one make a decision together and then go from there I agree okay dilemma three is quite short so hopefully I can actually alright get through it

get through that one okay go on Okay, dilemma three is quite short, so hopefully I can actually get through that one. Okay, go on then. Okay. Dilemma three. Goes without saying, I absolutely love the pod. Thanks. Thank you. Look forward to it every week, especially when Toby's on it.

My dilemma is I have recently dumped my best friend after realizing that actually she's very self-centered and a toxic person who just isn't good for me. And now I'm struggling to find who I am separately from this girl our friendship was so intertwined and intense and all about her that I've lost who I am and now that and now that we don't talk I feel a bit empty inside I'm glad this friendship is over and honestly it's such a relief but do you have any tips on finding yourself in your 20s oh my god it's almost like you I think people have this with friendships and with relationships like your identity is like attachment style thing right like if part of your identity and and confidence is relying on either relationship or a best friend when they've gone you then lose a part of that which is so common I also think it's like natural like yeah you can't be self-reliant I think people you can't

be completely alone like that that is part of life like you do have like people around you and that does morph you as a human it's like that is yeah you know we're social creatures so but yeah you've just got to I don't mean I don't know I think it's something that everyone's like I think time it you will just come back to yourself yeah and also things like going like sounds really lame but like like taking yourself on dates like doing stuff for you yeah just having me whether it's like a like a long weekend away and like just doing stuff new exciting things by yourself is a good like a great way to kind of i agree like fall in love with yourself yeah right thing don't put pressure on yourself as well to be like who am i like it will just happen and it will come

like don't freak out about it just enjoy yourself and just be like oh a weight's been lifted lovely now i can just move on and like things evolve like some people i think put pressure on themselves to be like i just don't know who i am i need to find myself and they like go off traveling for three months and it's like actually they feel more lost than ever just chill don't know who I am. I need to find myself. And they like go off traveling for three months. And it's like, actually, they feel more lost than ever. Just chill. Don't panic. Yeah. Do your thing.

And like. Trust your process. Trust the process. It will just happen. Get in the gym. Don't force things. Get in the gym. Get into a healthy.

The gym's a great way of like just letting off some steam, you know. Get into a lovely, healthy way of life routine. Maybe join like a netball team or something, you know. Oh, we're going down that route. I see. Quite nice. That's how my dad made all of his mates not netball no rugby yeah i have a lot of a lot of guys i actually know one of my ex-boyfriends joined the rugby team and he's

made some like lovely friends through that i used to play five-a-side football but that was with people i knew but like that's a great way of sports teams or yeah art class or oh my god masterpiece do you know that art class we went to very true a lot of people meet new people but I also feel like this isn't really necessarily about her meeting new people

it's almost like just letting go and like you will get over it one day you'll just wake up and be like oof don't feel a thing anymore that happens with breakups

it happens with friendship endings trust me and time is a healer time is a healer and you won't even think about it being a part of you anymore no you're so right

because probably a big part of your friendship as you say was just talking about probably her a part of you and no you're so right because probably a big part of your friendship as you say was just talking about probably her and her problems and her dramas all the time and you know sometimes there is people in friendships where there is someone that's naturally got more going on and like that's how you balance each other out i feel like that happens a lot more with girl relationships than it does guys it almost becomes like an actual relationship whereas blokes are just a bit more, I don't know, wrongly or rightly, I don't really feel like

guys have those sort of like, oh, I don't talk to him anymore, he's a toxic person, but. Yeah. Maybe they, I don't know.

Maybe they do, but it's more subconscious. Yeah, maybe. Maybe we just don't address it. You just don't address it, you just go, oof,

no, not seeing you at the pub again, you're boring. Or you just have a fight and then it's done. You bummed me out, like I'm not going to invite you to the pub again. Yeah, true. It's just less of a it's done you bummed me out like I'm not going to invite you to the pub again

yeah true it's just less of a thing whereas with girls it's like they're kind of blanking me it then becomes a thing like yeah the fact that you've

dumped her though I think you need to give yourself credit because that shows courage and it shows self love absolutely good on you

did the right thing yeah onto pastures green this is exciting I love these so these are not like dilemmas obviously it's quite

self explanatory but like this is just one of our lovely listeners who's written in something thought I'd send this in although it is mortifying it is quite hilarious so I'm a recent grad

in London who is very much so single so of course I set up Hinge profile to find myself a guy stunning I matched this American who had just moved to London that weekend I decided you're still doing that what who is very much so single. So, of course, I set up Hinge profile to find myself a guy. Stunning. I matched this American who had just moved to London

that weekend. You're still doing that? What? Ooh, new man on Hinge. Stunning. I'm right here. I'm going to make me lost my place.

I decided to take my chance and ask him for drinks to show him the city. Quite fun and exciting, you know, when someone doesn't know it and you're like, I'm in my territory, I can show you yeah around the ropes a localer the first date went

the first date went so well and i was feeling butterflies in my stomach about seeing him again oh my god so we organized a second date for a couple days later and i knew that i'd be going back to his after i love that like you just know it's gonna happen like the preparation before the day i noticed that my stomach was experiencing more butterflies than i was and i was feeling quite unwell oh no i just scrutely went to the loo and had had to do a nervy poo to end my stomach butterflies second date nerves and all that second date nerves and all that. Nervy poo to Emma. Charming. Second date nerves and all that. I thought I was fine then to carry on. So went to the drinks, had an amazing time. We bantered, chatted and flirted for hours.

Then agreed to go back to his. Oh no, I just, oh no. On the walk over, I still noticed my stomach was feeling a bit odd and I assumed it was more nerves. We ended up shagging and I thought it was just getting quiet. Oh my God. Now I've read the end. Shit, no. Oh no, I can't say getting quite... Oh my God! Now I've read the end. Shit, no.

Oh no, I can't say that word. I can't. Do you want me to take the joint? No, no, no. We ended up shagging and I thought it was just getting quite wet down there so I obviously continued. It got to the end of the sesh

and went to the kitchen to get some more wine and I got out of bed. I saw what had happened. I had shat myself on his fresh linen sheets. No, no, there's no recovery. There no recovery i've changed my name absolutely mortified i had no clue what to do so i pulled the doobie back over the bed got changed and explained to him that i had to head home and that i had work in the morning he kindly called me an uber to get to get me home and i messaged him whilst i was in the car about what happened how embarrassed i was trying to pull it off that i had started my period instead even though he had said fine

he never responded to my messages warning i guess some people have their limits when it comes to poo that i genuinely changed my name and city my i somewhere. No, I'm so upset for you because it sounded like that could have been something quite special because you had the feels. Oh no. Oh my God. How would you not know you've shit yourself?

I am in, I'm shit earth to the core. How would we recover? There's no recovering from that. I actually feel like we've had a similar story been told to us. I've had, so a friend of a friend, I'm not going to mention any names uh he went on a hinge date with this

girl and went back to hers and she had again like white sheets and he who doesn't have white sheets it's like the white sheet i actually did my ex-girlfriend had brown sheets that would have been a good camouflage that would have have put that beauty shit on. It's fine, I got away with anything. Get away with murder in there. And he went back to her house and he was on the bottom. She was on the top. They were going at it.

She then got off him and went to the loo. He like slid off the bed. And as he slid off the bed, he left a skid mark. And the same thing, he was like this. And then just put the sheet over got his stuff and left never heard back never well i don't think she ever heard from him and she certainly didn't hear that is rancid right can we just clarify one thing wipe your ass why do guys get skids and also the sheet's not going up your crack how do you just skid slightly like what the hell i know what the hell rank that is horrible just wipe your butt get some lovely baby wipes carry them around

within your pocket yeah wipe yourself out especially if you know you're gonna shag check yourself 100 the shitting yourself i mean it's just slightly that is that i know on first dates i get it it's either i can't I can't eat for the first three dates your stomach feels a bit like you don't know if you're coming or going the nervous poo thing

I think is like I remember when I was much younger and then the wind because you can't like there's a night overnight stay it's 12 hours without being able to fart

you're like a balloon by the end of it you float to the top of the ceiling it's horrible it's not butterflies it's just it's partly butterflies but it's also just like now I'm babbitt over it's all night long it's your fault it's the like little grains

that you've been feeding me i feed him all these like healthy lovely things um those like chocolate sprouts yeah like bean sprouts and like broccoli bean sprouts she's only got herself to blame because they are all my loss and then the then the Dyson air fan just like, it's like on an auto thing for purifying the hair. Any sense, if it smells a scent in the room it like goes mental. So then it just turns on and goes... It's like we just look at each other and I'm like oh Toby you're disgusting. Disgusting. Okay, I'm going to rate the wine, actually, an 8 out of 10.

It was bloody delicious. I think if I wasn't so hungover, I would go the same, but I'm going to... Also, imagine a couple of ice cubes in there. Oh, yeah. Gorgeous. A nice Friday evening. I'm also just going to comment on how, like, fun vibes, like, the bottle. Lovely wine.

8 out of 10 from both of us. And thank you guys so much for listening. I know Toby's not as good as our normal co-host but you know what pills to hold did my best no joking okay bye guys love you

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That's it for this week Wednesdays, but God god don't you just fancy some more Melissa yeah I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas I want to know what happens well then tinies we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of Wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio