Wednesdays - 113: The best of Wednesdays! | THROWBACK EPISODE

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

With Sophie away on her honeymoon, it felt like the perfect opportunity to look back over some of our favourite moments from the pod so far. It’s been a wild ride, with so many incredible moments to choose from, but we hope you enjoy a small selection of our highlights! You’ll hear Sophie talking about her dream wedding, some funny ‘say it or shot its’ and clips from special guests…. Plus, from sleeping with your friend’s dad, to VERY awkward sex, Melissa and Sophie look back at some of their most shocking dilemmas!!Grab your favourite wine and enjoy! Thanks for listening x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register by March 15th. Additional terms apply. learn more at wealthsimple.com slash match fanduel casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying i do who wants this last parachute i do enjoy the number one feeling winning in an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on fan duel casino where winning is undefeated 19 plus and physically located in ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca please play responsibly hey guys we actually have a little special episode today because sophie's away on her honeymoon we thought it'd be nice to have a little mash-up of all the best bits from all of our episodes enjoy melissa are you a doctor uh i want to be but i'm not I'm not a doctor either and we're not

psychologists and we're not experts in anything in fact we just chatted all the shit so and we love giving you guys advice but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help I guess the politics of like in laws and families is like all quite can be quite complicated I mean look at the royal family eyes oh I know Megan and Kate you know Kate made Megan cry at her wedding or whatever it was but I was when I was watching that and listening to that I was like you know that's probably quite normal like there's always like politics and like pressures that, I was like, you know, that's probably quite normal. Like, there's always, like, politics and, like, pressures, especially when in that situation. Like, you can imagine your sister-in-law, like, pissing you off a bit and you should be like, shut up.

And you just cry because you're under so much pressure and stress, you know? Oh, my God, I can't imagine it. Like, I just love Jamie. Like, I don't, like, do you know what I mean? I know, but I was just thinking, like, there is always sometimes, like, you know, a pressure from, like, say, your mother-in-law. And it's just like, oh, God. Sometimes I do think, like, what would my wedding be like? What would it be like?

It would be massive. No, ever. I don't, no, I'd have an absolute fuck-all party. But my actual wedding, I'd want to be really small. Small, I agree. I can't imagine myself, like, actually, like. I don't think I'll get married in England either. Getting madly insane vows in front of my mother.

No, I would fully get this I would start laughing like I I physically cannot laugh when I'm not laughing when I'm in bed I'd be serious about it no

and I can't do it in this country either if I did no way like no you know what I would actually very happily just get married I guess in like the Chelsea

like registry office or wherever the marriage bit but then have like a wonderful big party out in New York with my friends I don't care about like the exchange

writing at the paper oh yeah yeah oh neither me yeah yeah so my like actual big do is going to be abroad so it's going to be a big do

do you think you're going to go to like Barbados or something oh no no I'd have it in like I don't know like Spain or South France

or somewhere like that or even like Italy Tuscany but have like a really sick party have like the next day to be like a barbecueuscany but have like a really sick party have like the next day to be like a barbecue pool party

do like a five day wedding five days of it it's probably yeah I mean dad start saying that I'm getting excited

like can you do this tomorrow please I know and also would you have bridesmaids I don't know whether I'll have a bride or shower but no if I get married

like just like my parents and like in a registry office I don't think you do that do you I don't know whether I'll have a bridal shower, but no. If I get married, like, just like my parents and like in a registry office, then I don't think you do that, do you? I don't want to do the whole walking down the aisle with people watching me. Do you not? No. I just, I don't know what I want. I haven't really thought about like the full details.

All I know is I don't want to do the walking down the aisle, standing at the altar, saying the I do's in front of everybody. We might change our idea. We might, yeah. When we get older i know we're so young we've got about 10 years i'm like are you joking i'm fat i'm nearly 27 i'm 37 i'm 26 by the way everybody can you let me know what you got so young so if you don't be sick you're only two years younger than me so acting like you're like some i know every time i come

over i'm like i'm so young i've got all these years left in the life but you kind of are like those two years really make a difference right now they don't but when you're 28 and I'm 26 it will feel different by the way

anyone listening to this who's like older than me you're still really young I'm just being ridiculous yeah we're just being are we going to read some dilemmas because I'm excited for this

yeah are you ready okay here we go hey girls your podcast is amazing you both inspire me I'm excited for this. Yeah, are you ready? Okay, here we go. Hey girls, your podcast is amazing. You both inspire me. I'm 14 years old and I like a boy at school. I've liked him for a while, but I don't want to tell him as I'm way too nervous. What is the best thing to do? Okay, I'm going to put it out there.

Is she 14? I'm going to put it out there. Go straight up and just say it. What? No. What? No, this is the worst. I see the opposite.

Don't. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Just play cool. I would play cool cool I would personally play cool but you know what

would you appreciate your 14 year old self would appreciate a girl going up to you and being like hey buddy I like you yeah I think it's sweet

I think guys love to be liked guys are simple creatures yeah but then you'd just like kiss her or like play catch with her I don't know no you would what you would do

if I was going to play it tack for tack I would say to the boy something funny like oh by the way I fancy you that's funny and then not say anything else leave it oh yeah I'd do that no I would just get a friend to be like oh I would actually tell his friend I'd be like oh I actually really yeah and then he would just get back to him yeah yeah and then he will actually start looking at you differently always I always found at school when i found a boy like me i then suddenly like subconsciously fancied them back i would do the same my time is bad i tell everyone i'd be like yeah i really fancy yeah yeah just be quite open about it and just be like yeah he's really hot

as though like you don't care that he knows yeah wow girls are tactile i i would literally go revenge you yeah that's a girl that's like you didn't any of us when you were at school that's you that you really fit uh at school that would grow that would put me right off a boy like i if someone if if somebody walked up to me i fancy you i'd be like oof oof yeah even if i found you with that i wouldn't know what to do with that information i'd be like thanks do you remember msm's names when people wasn't allowed msm what and i'm actually really glad i wasn't because that then led to chat roulette and i know some girls that have done some weird shit on there this is where we get to the farm there which i've got this smell of tequila wafting through my nose okay so obviously this is the say it or shot it

segment so basically if you don't want to answer the question, you have to shot it. Do a shot of tequila. Okay. Are you ready? Oh, the first question. Are we doing it? You guys have also written these questions into us.

Craziest place you've had sex? I'm just like, I'm not going to answer this question. Why not? Because it's, I know, I just don't want to. No, you've got to. Now I really need to know.

It's just like, it's just a bit disgusting. Uh, tell me. I was just like, not on a night, not in a nightclub. No. Where?

I just, on the kitchen table. No, no, no, that's not that adventurous. That happened. Well, what? Um, it was just,

it was like out, it was like out in the middle of like the street, like in a hot, hot country, basically., it was like out, it was like out in the middle of like the street, like in a hot, hot country, basically. No one was about. With who? I can't disclose this information. Mine was actually also in a hot, hot country.

It's in the hot, it's the heat, because you come on almost just like with semi and stuff. I don't know what. And you've got no clothes on, basically. Actually, mine was a ski lift. It wasn't sex, but as, oh God. Right, if you had to date each other's exes, who would it be

and why oh slim pickings for me and me no i've had a few sam you could date oh harvey no i would date mitt i know you is not my husband no no no but you dated him i'm taking him but i'm taking him isn't it sorry you cannot take me as a we date your maid in chelsea no that was illegal you can't take that as an ex i'm taking it as an ex there is none of your exes that i will ever fucking date it's a game actually no wait who else did you date who else did i date we know dating ex-boyfriends fine and we have to clarify the difference yeah ex-boyfriends so you've got sam or harvey this is really quite mean, this game. Savage.

You guys are savage. Is this as savage as Hayley's was? Because otherwise we're just looking like bitches. No, but you guys are great at this. You guys are the fastest to say these. I don't want to be called a mean girl. We're giving the people what they want. Every court is in the right of public interest.

So every court hearing, the public has access to that's why at all i didn't know that god i hope i never get put in court i actually did should i tell you a story so i lost my license i was like 18 and my driving license okay sorry what other license i don't know i was just like what you lost your license so i lost my driving license but the story is that compared to divorce i was living with my mom the trick the tickets were going and you know before you like have been driving for like a year or something you can only actually get like three points before you get then you get that's it so i got those three points but they were like you need to send me back your license got them tick done and they

were like send me back your license we can put them on your license. And I just was never getting any of the letters because I was living with my mom. Right. And I just, my dad was in Spain. And then they, a year later, like, I got taken to court to try and get my license back. Didn't have a license for a year. I had to stand there and be like, I see if you'd be as well as all of me. And my mom was having a skin appeal at the same time. And she's in the audience.

In the audience? In the courtroom? Yeah, in the courtroom. And I'm like there trying to be really like solemn, look really scared. And I turn to the left and my mum, half her face is peeling off. And she's like this.

And I was like, oh my God, I just started laughing. How old were you? 18. Right, okay. Liz, we've got a quiz. You've got to quiz us on Gen Z terms oh yes because we have

Flossie on and we didn't have a bloody clue what anything she was talking about why aren't we so Gen Z am I not in the Gen Z because we're not Gen Z

but I missed it by a year so what am I then a millennial millennial we're the same that's so lame Jamie's a millennial well that's fucking

even lamer I know he's a fossil it's a fossil. He's a fossil. If I go up then. Right, okay. Well, these are the terms that we've got on our little sheet. Oh, what the hell?

But you might have some that are even more new. Yeah, go on, just hit us with your best art. Number one, vagina slay. Yeah, like you're fit, your vagina slays. Yeah, we have had this from Flossie, I think. Kind of, but it's less fit. No, but she didn't tell us. She did speak about vagina slays? Yeah, we have had this from Flossie, I think. Kind of, but it's less fit. No, but she didn't tell us. She did speak about vagina slay.

So is it like, would I come down in a cool outfit and you're like vagina slay? Yeah, it's more that like, if your boyfriend looked fit, you wouldn't be like, ooh, vagina slay.

But if you're like, girls look unreal, you'd be like, oh my God, vagina slay queen. It's more like a, terms of like a camp term. Like,

it's like a girl to girl term or like a me to a guy. Like as in like you're making me work you look so good like i don't get it why is it vagina it's just like i don't get it but why would you say vagina you're making me work but what i was trying to get i'll just say that i mean i don't know the history of the context but i'm assuming it's like girl boss slay vagina slay queen right so basically like tit slay if you just came up with a book an amazon best-selling book i'd be like that's so

vagina slay because it's like girl boss slay none of these words were in the bible by the way like the words that are coming out my mouth right but there's no penis slay. Probably not. I don't think men deserve that. Right. Yeah, I'm with you. All right, next one. Number two. Okay, boomer. What the fuck? I'm going to take a wild guess. Okay, boomer, like.

Okay, sick. Yeah. Okay, banging. Okay, no. But I believe boomer's the one above millennials. I think. Is that correct? Oh. So like, okay, granddad. I think. Is that correct?

Oh. So like, okay, granddad. So anyone that's like 33. And it used to be like. So calm down because it's probably someone. It's like a derogatory term to older people. Basically. If my history knowledge is correct,

and don't trust me on my history because I got checked out of my year nine history lessons for learning a Nicki Minaj rap. So history is not my strong point point but I believe there was a time where like everybody was being like Gen Z are lazy like the boomers were being like Gen Z are lazy they don't do anything blah blah blah and the comeback used to just be okay boomer like it was just that and they couldn't come back can I call Jamie all right boomer no she's a millennial right so who's a bit older like like 33 like David Beckham I think his year is the last millennial. Right, so he's a bit older, like his mate. Like 33. Like David Beckham. I think his year is the last millennial year,

and then it goes above, I think. I'm going to like bump into his brother, like have a family dinner and be like, all right, boomer. Cap. You have? No, not the utensil for your head. Like that's cap.

That's cool and pretty. No. I'll use it in a sentence. Oh my God, I got home so early last night. That's cool and pretty. No. I'll use it. I'll use it in a sentence. Oh my God, I got home so early last night. That's cap. That's shit. That's really good. No, it means like you're lying.

Like if I was to be like, oh, I got home so early. That's cap. It's like, that's cap. So if I like. Or if you wanted to say like a serious fact like oh my god i'm sweating right now no cap because that's like no like no word of a lie like i'm like hot like right oh my god this is so fun can we sack the dynamics all the time i'm honestly gonna be sad oh my god guys I'm honestly so bloated today. No cap. Exactly. We're learning people.

I feel like I'm going to have to do the homework, like fill in the dots to come back. Oh my God, this is too good. Gold stars. We're going to go to this handy and have a whole language.

And it's going to be what? Everyone's going to have our own language just the two of us. I'll be like, guys, you were sober last night. No cap. Chuggy. You guys know Chuggy No cat. Chuggy. You guys know Chuggy?

No. Like a dick. What? You are just being so... I mean, what? She's like, yeah, like wet my vagina. Like a dick. I thought Chuggy was like always Chuggy.

God, no. Always like a wanker. No. No, baby, no. What is it? What is it? Chuggyuggy is like oh like lame cringy like or it's more like an outdated fashion so like if i so for example heidi klune's boots were chuggy like that's chuggy right i actually will use that i love using the word chuggy but then you start to overuse the word chuggy and then the word ch word chugi becomes chugi oh it's a dangerous vicious cycle wow we're gonna get so chugi on our chugi i can just tell

everyone's gonna be like they've gone chugi themselves right the last one bussin bopping like we have a dance what is it bop it and i was like no no no no wait hold on you're you're bossing it no with a u like bus in oh um yeah you're dancing kind like I would personally use I think it's got multiple meanings but I would use it like like you know how you would be like oh this meal slaps no oh my god this is fascinating Can you give us a couple more? Don't be fair. Like, I would say this meal slaps,

meaning like, oh my God, it's so good. But why does it slap? Because it just slaps. Like, oh my God. I've heard that. I've heard that. The YouTubers in America, they're like, this is bomb or this slaps.

I've heard this is bomb. No, it's not this is bomb. It's this, oh, this cheeseburger's bomb. Yeah. Or this burger slaps i've heard this is bomb no it's not this is bomb it's this oh this cheeseburger's bomb yeah or this burger slaps yeah that's it oh oh and they put british people say more like oh it just hits different yeah it hits different what are these youtubers you're watching are they said it the other day she's like oh this diet coke hits different Molly Mae's fully a millennial she's my age she's in the same

year at school can we just clarify if I was in school I thought she was like 25 Molly Mae and Tommy would be in my year we'd be in

matched together that is wild Tommy turned 23 last month we'd be matched together big bridesmaid dilemma I got engaged last year and when we did i was so excited i asked all my seven girlfriends to be bridesmaids the issue is that three of them i haven't actually been friends with for that long and as the wedding grows an era it's showing and i don't feel that

close to them at all oh no i feel like this is probably quite a common problem yeah every now and again they make comments how excited they are for the wedding. But other than that, they never mention it or ask how things are going. I've four amazing bridesmaids who I love dearly and are all lifelong friends. So I feel like I have to just suck it up and keep the three that I've realized I'm not that close with

or risk losing them altogether and destroying our current girl group dynamic. I'm really sad that I rushed into choosing my bridesmaid and that such a special day in my life is going to be shared with people who don't seem to really care oh my god no this is awful i have seen people recently have huge bridal parties so i don't know if i'm overthinking it is it old-fashioned now to just have one or two two are people having bigger bridal parties and widening the pool now i have my hen do coming up soon so i hope they'll be okay and maybe if they make a fuss then it will be me it will make me feel better about the big day mate just don't worry

about it just say you don't want them to be bridesmaids no i you know what i don't i almost i honestly think that you're overthinking it you chose them for a reason they're in your girl group and you know what there's only so much a bridesmaid can do that's like making a fuss like i don't feel like i ask you every time i see you like how's the wedding planning going i'd literally be like i'm gonna shoot you if you do every time i ask if she's like it's fast like I don't feel like I ask you every time I see you like how's the wedding planning going I'd literally be like I'm gonna shoot you if you do every time I ask if she's like

it's all done like she says there's nothing left to do she's like I gotta try a couple cakes haven't even sent

save the date guys she hasn't she's honestly very relaxed about this wedding I don't I just don't I think it's like

you're taking yeah I know it's like a coping melissa will worry about that problem future sophie is dealing with this wedding that is in seven months may i say wowzer right my advice this is i personally think if you're still friends with them and they're good energy and you know it's gonna love them obviously they're really good dynamic with your other brides exactly that's key

you're gonna have a lovely bride or keep them it'll be great but absolutely there is no shame in having like one or two bridesmaids loads of jamie's fans haven't even had bridesmaids and that's really yeah i because i don't i don't think you need them at all no it's just a fun like and everything's changing so much i mean like i mean your friend um georgie had jamie as their like maid of honor right so like a man of honor there's so many like different ways of doing it now there's no rules to like the weddings and I think if I was you I would keep them it sounds like your girl group dynamic is fun and you're overthinking like oh my god they're not I'm just not that close to them I haven't known for that long they're not being overly supportive like the other ones are and you're comparing your friends I wouldn't worry about

I feel like you pick them for a reason and it and you sound like you have fun with them like they're not upsetting you or being mean I think you just enjoy it exactly and as it comes closer to the wedding i mean technically a bridesmaid really doesn't have anything to do other than what you tell them we have to give you jobs essentially it's the maid of honor who's really got exactly that's what i was thinking you haven't told me to do a thing well you don't have to do anything other than walk down the aisle and not look prettier than me which is impossible shut up i'm gonna take all your make so that is just such a stupid thing for you to say and it's so undue how to feel excited about the idea of dating slash meeting someone new after heartbreak i'm on my way to this point but it's a very scary stage because

if you're not totally over the previous relationship I think it's a very dangerous one because it can make you retreat back which we don't want to do we only need to move forward so I think if you're half excited so like if you're half excited and you force yourself like right I'm half excited about it but I'm not sure you go on a date you kiss and it's not a vibe you'll then be like I miss I miss the ex so much like that was so and then it kind of makes you retreat back which is not always a good thing so I kind of think don't force it if you're half excited brilliant keep on that excitement level but until you're like oh I'm 100% ready now like yeah the ex is like giving me the yick on

that that that that verse you know what I mean then then go for it i so agree there's nothing worse than like going to see the first person you get with after an ex and you're like oh yeah it's them yeah or you're like oh fantastic yeah it's hit or miss so i think if you're halfway there i would just be a bit more cautious maybe give it a little bit more time if you're not if you're halfway there and the guy's really fit and he ticks boxes go for it but if you're like halfway down and you're like not sure i need but i need to move on you know i need to force myself kind of thing yeah don't do that i would wait till you're yeah as you say excited about it fully yeah same okay would love some general advice for a breakup after three years it was my decision but still love him so much it's so weird spending all your time together and not speaking i know it is hopefully for the best but i don't know what to

do myself i wonder why they break up then if she still loves him um i think i don't know what the circumstances were but like i think you might just be missing the comfort rather than him like there's obviously a reason why you break up with him and i think when you break up with somebody yeah go through the stages of grief and you forget all the bad sure just miss them yeah so I think you've time like we say time and it's like talking to them you've got to replace talking to them with someone else I think like if you've got a best friend it does help like having someone else to talk to helps yeah what boy or girl boy yeah it just does it's just a distraction and it's just like a it's a use and abuse situation but like we've all kind of done it yeah i've got to do what girl's got to do right maybe don't take that advice but you know as in like used and abused

but they've done it to us for god's sake distract yourself you're not leading somebody on you're just having a chat with somebody that's fine some people do like have sex you know what it's all so complicated everyone handles things so differently yeah that's the thing everyone handles things so differently what's right for somebody is so wrong for another human for me i've obviously had sophie and then my friend hermione honestly every second of the day on facetime or in real life spending that time like i'm not even joking a sec i will hang up the phone with hermione and then i'll be on the phone to sophie for an hour and vice it just literally rotates like that over and over again jack and hermione on their like anniversary trip

i know i'm dead melissa's like i was like what are you doing this weekend so i'm going to work this she's like we're jack and hermione and then on saturday i was like so we didn't know i'm lucky in the respect that i have a constant human replacement from the x yeah yeah yeah yeah um yeah i think having that to some degree even if it is that you're i don't know you're ready to go on a dating app and have a chat with somebody or chat to a couple of people just to have some fun and excitement.

That doesn't have to lean in. You don't have to date anyone. You can just chat to somebody if you want. Or you have friendships that you can just constantly be talking to. Yeah. It's a comfort. It depends.

I don't really like, I've learned, I don't really like being alone. I like my own company. I think at this stage, you don't like like being alone but then what you know what's strange even when I was in a happy relationship I was still talking to you and Hermione all the every day on FaceTime like I'm like I actually haven't changed my routine at all have I have I it's true it's because when we walk I hate we both we both walk without being on the phone

yeah like really I should just get involved in like a really good podcast I've been doing that as well I've been listening to some podcasts I just love a facetime on a walk yeah me too because it feels like you're walking with someone yeah anyway that was such a long answer to that dilemma but I think having the company of something and somebody else not necessarily in person but just having nice chats it's comforting and also what you do which is quite nice is you and Hermione have fake dinner and they put oh yeah yeah yeah so they eat together and I did this even when I even when I was in a relationship I would do this with Hermione in regards to the friend stealing the vibrator story the same thing happened to me i had a vibrating bullet and my friend stayed over every other weekend months go by and i hadn't hadn't

used it until i went to get it out of my drawer and it was gone what the hell is going on with people i genuinely thought i misplaced it or thought it was lost under my bed it wasn't until i was helping said friend move house when i was helping organize her wardrobe into baskets i found it she snatched the basket off me i just started i just stared at her my mouth was on the floor she didn't utter a word about it and was like that's mine and i was like that's mine question mark i tried to take the basket back off her oh my god this is like they're having a full-on cat fight but she but she got up and left the room who does that i wish she stole my purse honestly my vibrator absolutely deceased me the memory random randomly pops into my head it makes me feel sick

we don't speak anymore it makes me sad sometimes because we were best friends for 10 years but that is unhinged baby i'm sorry what's going on with these girls i don't there's some fucking horny guys i i but it's really not that difficult to buy your own one like just pop into on summers or like boots or just like if you're so desperate like and you're that road to stay one ask shower head i mean hot tub sophie loves it when i was younger guys that makes it no matter when she's like three years old i used to always sit on the hot tub vibrator my mom used to be like come on away from me now and i'd be like no i have no idea what it was i used to honestly like swimming pools like swim and be like i didn't even know she said what's this wonderful feeling and you're literally so young she's not three you're like seven mate i was young god it's fascinating isn't it fascinating

i wonder when like boys start like being like oh this feels nice i wonder when they can figure it out it's it's funny isn't it when you first start having i guess sexual thoughts or whatever but you're not educated on it but like your body has a weird instinct that it knows what to do it's so strange i was trying to think back to when i first i guess thought that there was like something that i wanted to do but like i didn't know what it was do you know i started from a young age because i was i started from a young age not like that but i was introduced to it anyway moving on did you know that boys don't have cum for ages like they wank and no cum comes out until puberty i had no idea i thought that makes sense because they create it like as it like it's made as it goes right so like how unsatisfying but do they wank before

the cum comes or do they only start i don't know we need to ask a boy these questions i think i asked jamie and he was like it's quite exciting when it first comes i think i think for a while you just and it's quite unsatisfying well yeah nothing comes out you still do do that maybe they still have an orgasm if there's no no i don't think so it's just quite unsatisfying that surely can't happen because you'd be walking around all day that sucks yeah that can't happen sure poor poor boys major dilemma please help okay so my best friend has been sleeping with her other best friend's dad oh my god oh my god what is going on with parents In this episode I know This is weird And we are all going on

A family holiday With the parents in July Shut No no Wait wait wait We've had a similar story to this Have we Yes

Right carry on I'm the only one who knows And I feel so awkward And I don't know what to I've known the girl Who's sleeping with the dad Since nursery But I've also been friends

With the other girl For ten years The girl has told me And now I feel such a weight on my shoulders. What the fuck is the right thing to do? Love you so much. Hope you can help me out. I would have to tell her.

I would just... No, I would say tell her. You've got to fucking tell her right now or I will but it's not going to be good coming out of my mouth. You need to do it yourself. Yeah, I wouldn't tell. So if this was happening, so say like Ruby, for example.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Wait, is the parents obviously separated? Yeah, no, the parents are still together because was happening, so say like Ruby, for example. Oh my God. Oh my God. Wait, is the parents obviously separated? Yeah, no, the parents are still together because they're going on a holiday with the parents.

So is she having an affair? Double whammy. How do we know? She's not clarified that. We are going on a family holiday with the parents. Okay, so either way, it's equally as awful,

but if the parents are still married, this is horrendous. Horrendous, horrendous, horrendous, horrendous. Okay, what I would do is, I would be like to the girl, I'd be like, look, you've given me such a responsibility

knowing this information, it's so unfair, because I love my friend, you have to fucking tell her, and we're going to tell her right now, we're going to go and do it now, you're going to sit down and tell her. Yeah, same, I'd force it,

I'd be like, I will never speak to you, I would be like, I can't be your friend unless you tell her. Yeah. Because it's just too tricky otherwise there's two things about this

it's wrong in every way secondly I don't know your age so like they could be like 38 and the dad could be 58 and it's kind of like

if he is single sale of age you know what I mean I'm picturing like our age with like one of our dads and I'm like out the house

you're done I can't I can't get to grips with it I'm sorry this is our age with like one of our dads and I'm like out the house you're done I can't I can't get to grips with it I'm sorry this is this is pretty wild though this is like a fucking what and I cannot imagine this happening in like and even if it was like we grow older right it's still not okay because that's your dad and also the age gap is still the same but yeah but you can't have so no but it's still like then you're it's not like oh they're a dad it's like the same age as your dad do you know what i mean it's like they saw you growing up by the sounds of it it just seems a bit wrong and like how are you gonna be weird about it exactly he's seen you literally like for over 10 years no no it's wrong on so many levels and the fact you're going on

100 days oh no the girl i feel so sorry for the daughter she like has no idea that will mess her up a lot like that would make me so upset thinking that my dad oh my god no no no that's really upset me oh i now can't like envision it like i can't get the this is just wrap your head around this for a moment because this is quite a lot to take in imagine the dynamic you know what we really need a follow-up of what happens on this holiday because i need to know everything even though it's really quite horrible in so many ways it's juicy and i need to know what's happened on the dynamic this holiday i need to know if the dad is single yeah yeah i also wouldn't mind a photo of him just so i know what he looks like what we're dealing with here yeah i would quite like to just put a face to like the story yeah yeah yeah because this

is probably won't get one having thought about that but this is a lot this put a face to, like, the story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because this is freaking mental. Probably won't get one, having thought about that. But this is a lot. This is a lot to take in. I would actually be so upset with you, if you were that girl, that I wouldn't even... I'd be like, I really can't. You would give me the ick, probably. Yeah, you would give me the ick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd get a friendship ick. Yeah, I'd be like, you've given me the ick. And I wouldn't be able... I'd be like, just do what you want to do. Especially as you would look at that dad as like... it's like it's like me okay right that's like me and bella knowing each other for 10 years right within our friendship and then me getting with bella's dad that's how fucked up that is oh my god yeah i'd be like and then us all going on a holiday

together and you knowing and bella doesn't know i'm like you've given me the ick big time i would awful oh god oh okay well that's not happened between us so don't get the ape with me but that's how i know that's really scar we just put it into context a lot of like really scarring conversations today guys but this is crazy that this shit happens look i feel really upset for the daughter if i were you i would tell her tell her, stop it. I'd just be like, stop it. Just don't even tell her, just stop it. Because all that will do is upset the girl. Just stop it. I think they've only slept together once, though.

Well, that's even worse. Wait, hold on, hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, fine, fine. They have slept together. What? It's a continuous thing. Is it? I don't know.

You're the one who read out the dilemma. No, you did. No, you did no you did hey girl he's got a weird hookup story on friday i went on a date and we went for loads of drinks vibing and i got in and it got to 11 30 we hadn't kissed so i got some bad bitch energy yes my girl and pulled his coat and kissed him and he was such a good kisser oh lovely star anyway his flat was by the pub we were at and he said i've got some wine at mine i was like fucking okay yeah anyway we go back to his bit of kissing and then when it gets to having sex he's calling me a good girl

oh no no no he did not a good girl what the fuck and covering my mouth no no no no no no no no no no and covering my mouth telling me to look into his eyes while i fuck him oh my god oh my god i love how detailed she's been literally those words it wasn't good and to make it worse cordon broke and i had to get the morning article the next day can you please tell me why guys do this and feel it because they i feel it's because they all watch porn like what the fuck and then and has this happened before to you guys he also messaged me the day after asking see me again and how he loved last night and i said sorry there's something missing this has put me off sex for a while a good girl phone drops i'm done i can't look me in the eyes baby good girl what and then she covered up her mouth so she can't speak or make a noise so he's like look me in the eye

i think i would laugh i think i would laugh if anyone said call me a good oh no if anyone said oh come on baby good girl i love it you're trying to talk to me like that oh come on baby you're trying to work out good girl so random like oh oh it's like who's a good girl who's your daddy oh yeah that was the vibe who's a good girl i'd be like not fucking me you badass weirdo oh a bad bitch i decided to be a bad bitch in case of that that obviously gave him the energy he was like right she's coming back to mine right this is okay that's never happened to me no she's basically saying has this happened to us and like why the fuck it has not but that's like boys watch too much porn this is a thing this is definitely a thing i mean they

had this in euphoria do you guys remember like sydney sweeney went to have sex with that guy for the first time what was his name the really sweet guy anyway they ended up being in a relationship but he like fully went to strangle her the first time they had sex and she was like what are you doing and it was all because relating back to him first watching porn it's like he doesn't really understand what normal sex is right he thinks that's normal it is a thing i think a lot of boys don't know what girls like like they literally don't so they try all sorts of things and they like here on the grapevine or like you know this is i did this with my girlfriend she actually really liked it and

they think i can't i'm gonna do that on the first date something really rogue totally it's on like my friend told me right that with her the first ever person that she ever had sex with, he grabbed a bullet and used it on her. Right. Okay. First set was she lost her virginity. He grabbed a bullet. I was like, lucky you. Anyway, from then on, she thought it was so legit to every time she had sex, grab for

the bullet. She now has paved the way for herself for sex. It's going to be so, she's never going to come into an awkward situation where she's like, can we actually get a bullet out? Do know what i mean it's all about experience like what your first time is what you think's normal so like yeah this this boy maybe called his ex a good girl and she was maybe covering her mouth the whole time having sex and he doesn't think that's any different it's a very intimate strange thing when you have sex with somebody for the first time and you don't really know them because like you're like it's so like so intimate so intimate and so personal so i think you kind

of have to roll with not roll with the punches but like you have to kind of explain like please don't do that like i have it in me like i just wish i could but i can't talk down to you like i just know but you can be like oh no please don't or just like move his hand away be like don't no no no oh at that point i'd be like like, oh, you give me the egg, get off me. You can't just lie there and be like, oh, what do I do?

I'd probably just wait because it can't have been that long. I'd be like, oh, in five minutes, it's going to be over. Do you know what I mean? Like,

realistically, what would you do? Would you push him off? I actually think I would. I think I'm pushing. This is like, I can't, this is wild that someone did this to you

the first time they're having sex. I've had a wild thing. Really? Someone I know at uni, they were having sex and he started towing her vagina with his toe. And she was like, I beg your pardon? Like, your toe is in my vagina. He was like, yeah, that feels good. Yeah.

Like, no, actually it doesn't. Your toenail is halfway out my vagina. Oh my God, disgusting. It's just hideous. Okay, roll. I don't really know what. like no actually it doesn't your toenail is halfway out my vagina like can you stop disgusting it's just hideous okay roll um i don't really know what i think unless you're really like liking unless you really like him and you're like she doesn't fine sack him off don't worry about it it's a good one for the memes it's quite a funny story it's a good one to tell the girls it's, yeah, yeah. That'll be down in history. fancy parka, a ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka, or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund. Plus, move any other eligible account and we'll give you a 1% match.

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Okay, so I have a tricky, sneaky link dilemma. So I've tragically had friends with benefits for almost seven years. I'm embarrassed to say, but he's had a girlfriend for the past five years and has recently moved in with her. dear obviously this needs to stop asap especially as for the first time we ever we started talking about feelings after a few whys and i've stopped wanting to talk see other boys we try to stop all the time and it never works out do you think i should go on dates with other boys even though i'm not interested in hope to make me want to stop with this guy i feel like i need to want to stop for it to work I mean it sounds like you're in love with him if you've been going back there for five years but like ultimately you've got to

tell yourself there's obviously something between the two of you but he's never going to leave his girlfriend he's got his whole boyfriend and having a five-year affair like you're probably in love with him yeah he's the one that's in the wrong of the most. But perhaps she's never been like, it's me or the other. So he's like, oh, so you've got best of both worlds. Like, I can shag her when I want. Oh, the poor girlfriend.

I can't even do this. I know, I can't cope. You know what baffles me about this sort of thing, right? Where's the time? Where's the time? And how do they not realise? Like, does he have two phones? I don't, the whole thing really blows my mind

and it makes me like, like, is he having sex twice a day? Yeah. It's wild to me that people have the time to have sex with two people and have basically two relationships. I like to live in a little fancy world where I don't believe that cheating exists.

I really, like, proper treating like this. Like, I know people get with people on a club on a night out and they don't need it. But like, this, like, sinister cheating really upsets me. I think it's wrong and I don't like to believe that it happens because it creeps the fuck out of me not from you i know that well you're still in the wrong but he's the one in the relationship so technically you're not committing like adultery well basically what her dilemma is

she's asking her our advice well firstly we're giving you a bit of a schooling because we don't think this is correct but you already know that and secondly and also this is a judgment-free zone we don't know how in love with him you are like you obviously have said that you've tried to stop it before and we don't know what he's saying to her like he might be like look i'm so in love with you i'm judging a bit just because of that girl like five years they've been having an affair behind her back that's a long time i want to know more details about like what i'm sure there's an explanation behind it i just think there's obviously more i just think you should be like right now like i need to be a better person like this cannot go on and if you really like him i would say to him choose me or her if he i'm afraid to say it

sounds like he's already chosen her and for that reason that will give you the opportunity to move on but you're not putting him in a position where he has to make a choice you're letting him have his cake and eating it yeah like why would he need to choose you've never given him the option you're like oh we're friends with benefits like we just shag you really really really need to but you obviously like him he will never guys he will never leave this girl no they live together no he'll never leave her and it always ends up the same way we've had dilemmas like this before and then we've had follow-up dilemmas where they haven't actually like yeah made and like boys have been given ultimatums like you have to choose me or her and they go yeah yeah i will i will i will and then it never happens we actually know

of like some someone in the like in the vicinity that we don't actually we're not friends with them but we know that this is happening and they promise the other person they're having an affair with yeah i'm gonna leave this person leave this person but they never end up doing it like it happens all the time and ultimately you're looking like an absolute mug you've got a moral compass and you know this is wrong otherwise you would not written in and so i i love you for writing in and and also we telling you we don't we don't know how these situations fall into place obviously we have no history and background of it but you definitely need to sack this off now because he's always going to choose her ultimately

and um leave him be with his horrible life and unfortunately if he was doing it with you he'll probably go and do it over the night another person he's obviously the type of person that needs to fit like you deserve to be in a normal relationship with someone who wants you and only you and not a girlfriend as well sorry right we need to just quickly just say to you we've obviously been in the hand we've also just had sophie's wedding so we need to debrief on both bits oh god have we not debriefed on the london wedding we're gonna do the london wedding wedding today. Let's talk through the whole thing. You talk us through your routine from starting off at Four Seasons. So I got in with Alexi. I went to get my hair done.

I didn't get a spot on. The voice is going a bit. Scoot, scoot, scoot. Off she goes home. Packed my bag. Honestly. Oh, she went to Four Seasons. Three big suitcases.

Get home. Lug them into a taxi. Go to the Four Seasons. My mum's there. And this is a taxi go to the Four Seasons my mum's there and this is a traditional night before the night before the wedding

you spent alone yeah yeah didn't want to spend it with Jamie the Four Seasons very kindly gifted me a suite and my mum

and my sister a suite that must have been so fun it was so special that must have been a really special evening and it had a little cake

with nearly wads on it oh gorgeous I know and like a full little cake with nearly wads on it. Oh, gorgeous. I know. And like a full, a mirror with all the lights on. Oh yeah, perfect mirror. Okay, so yeah. Get to the Four Seasons. Go have dinner.

My dad's late. So we had dinner late. I was freaking out. I was like, it's 9pm. I need to go to bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't sleep till 4am. I honestly watched Chucky or Chupa on Netflix

that new movie oh it's really really good with a little crazy animal I've never heard of it so she was watching movies and was like

brilliant perfect right before I went in and then like at 2.30 I was like I must have a rescue remedy in my bag somewhere to help me sleep

calm me down it reminds me of taking rescue before my school exams to calm me down it really works it works taking rescue before my school exams to calm me down it really works it works so well couldn't find one finally slept i was literally upside down when i woke up i was like where the hell am i 7 a.m my sister and my mom come into my room they got another room i was in this big lovely bed on my own it was lovely they come in the hairstylist

came we were getting ready very lovely we had a prosecco champagne bucks fizz was so nervous i couldn't speak i was shaking in my boots and then we tried on the dress and um oh it didn't go out with the dress didn't zip up and i'm telling you now i'm not going away so that the zip must have been if you tried have been. Have you tried it on before? You have tried it on before. Yeah, very strange. Well, I think it was a sample dress because there's none left.

So they gave me the sample. Paid full price for it. It looked 10 out of 10. I wouldn't worry about it. And no one would have known that it didn't do up because I don't know what Georgia did. She sewed me in. She sewed me in.

And then, yeah. And then off I went. Off I went. She was obviously 10 out of 10. I mean, you guys would then off I went. Off I went. And then she was obviously turned out. I mean, you guys would have seen the photographs. It was a very magical moment. But when I say I was so nervous, like I've never been that nervous in my life.

I was literally shaking. I was like, get me in. You couldn't see that you were shaking. I've been to weddings before. I can literally see the bride's legs. When I was in, I was fine. It was the waiting behind the door when I came. Oh, that was a big, I was nervous.

I think everyone was a bit nervous for you. I don't know why. And then you could see that Jamie was like pacing up and down at the front. And it was the waiting behind the door when I came. Oh, that was a big, I was nervous. I think everyone was a bit nervous for you. I don't know why. And then you could see that Jamie was like pacing off and down at the front. It was so sweet. But then you came out and it was very special, very funny. It was a really special, lovely half an hour. It was quite quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I really could not bear a long one. That was awful. And then the rain stopped, guys. The rain stopped, but we were fucking freezing. For when safety came out freezing we went for lunch yeah went for lunch very drunk very lovely oh it's like you know you take a sip from your glass and it's just filled straight back up like there wasn't a moment that my glass wasn't full to the very brim it was wonderful it was honestly just the best day

and in case you haven't listened to Nelly Be best and if you don't you need to i have been crippled with anxiety and the minute i got married everything just went it was all gone it's all gone i think jamie's now more anxious he's like what the fuck have i done stop this but you know what i guess from an organization point of view now maybe he's stressed he's like oh the wedding it's hosting a big party you want it all to go right it's a different kind of maybe like stress and anticipation that's what he's feeling as far as you would like I'm just so stressed about getting married and you're like oh it's not a big deal now I'm not stressed about getting married just stressed about the whole thing whereas now I'm like yeah the whole thing was just overwhelming yeah I don't know

sunrise don't know it's just done now it's just done but you do then have the big organization it's not the big party now which is you're looking forward to it because you're like i'm just gonna let lease and have fun yeah that's more private whereas this bloody hell we walked out of the church it was honestly like it was a parade of people a lot yeah i felt honestly i was like but the moment it was just a little walk it was just that little walk from the thing into where we had lunch and then it stopped and then it was just that little walk. It was just that little walk from the thing into where we had lunch. And then it stopped. And then it was lovely.

And then there was, Sophie did this magical little poem speech. I did a poem. Which I will probably read. Everyone cried. Everyone shared a tear with that, for sure. Did you? Yes. Not Emily.

We both, we were sat next to each other. We both cried. Oh, you, yeah. I thought you were. I cried everything. I also, like, honestly was quivering my boots. I was like, please, can we just sit down so I can read this bloody poem? Oh God, and then she started Bless Her and then we had to stop her.

She had to go again and we were like, for fuck's sake. I cried so much. I cried in the ceremony. Oh my God, you did cry towards the end of the poem. That really got me when your voice went. And I was like. Oh yeah, it was a really lovely, lovely day. It was just gorgeous.

I hope you guys enjoyed that. And we will be back in studio next week bye guys love you wealth simples big winter bundle is our best match offer yet. Get a 2% match when you transfer over an eligible RRSP. For a $50,000 transfer, that's a $1,000 cash bonus. Enough to buy a fancy parka. A ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka. Or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund.

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Please play responsibly. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But, God, don't you just fancy some more melissa yeah i'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas i want to know what happens well then tinies we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in

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