Wednesdays - 115: Prostates, Flirting Tips & Fantasy Lovers Ft. Jamie Laing

Episode Date: June 27, 2023

Sophie's away for work this week BUT don't worry... we've still got a Laing!Jamie joined Melissa to provide his own unique perspective on some of your dilemmas. In true Jamie style, expect LOTS of anecdotes and, let's be honest, a slightly unusual amount of prostate chat.Thanks so much to Luv Jus for sending us some of their delicious craft hard seltzers!Inspired by the global Pride movement, 5% of Luv Jus profits are donated to LGBTQ+ charities.RATINGMelissa: 8/10Jamie: 7.5/10 (lower rating not remotely related to his investment in another canned cocktail brand)Thanks for listening xInstagram / TikTok / YouTube: @wednesdayswedrinkwineEmail: [e-mail]-Credits:Podcast Producer & Editor: @kat.milsomAdditional Producer: @jemimarathboneVideographer: @jamierg99Social Media: @emzchampionAssistant Producer: @maiaadelia.docs Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either. And we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not i'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists and we're not experts in anything in fact we just chatted all the shit so and we love giving you guys advice but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help is that how we started okay guys if you can't tell from his very distinctive voice,

of course, Jamie on the podcast. I'm here because my lovely wife at the moment is, she's doing work, isn't she? She's doing work away. And so she hasn't been on the podcast for a while, apparently. No, well, last week. She did last week. But we've done wedding, honeymoon.

It's been very intense. It's been a lot on. Lot on. Not enough time. And then she's gone away and now doing work and so i'm here to step in baby he's stepping up don't worry about it the plate melissa i want to know what have you been up to i don't think you've ever called me by my name melissa that was so formal melissa tattum what have you been up to yeah so i've been on

hendy i've got i came back yesterday evening it was epic did. We did have a naked butler, which was quite exciting. So he just had his booty out the whole time. Was he naked underneath? Yeah. What? Did he see us, Willie? Wild, no. You did.

We all tried to take a peek from the other side. Couldn't see through the legs. There wasn't a gap in the legs for us to see the penis. I also think he must have had one of those sock things over the little napkin bit. Okay. Sec okay securing the goods so you had a stripper no we didn't get any lap dances i was actually a little bit disappointed with that if i'm being honest i was quite looking forward to that because toby had been on a stag and had a lap dance so i was a bit fucked off i didn't he says he didn't but i think he did he went wet on a stag you know his brother's stag i

feel like this story is living rent free in everyone's heads because I'm telling everyone. He went on his brother's stag and then they had a stripper in the limo on the way to the strip club and then they were in the strip club.

How many strippers does one need? Wow. What are your thoughts on that? Quite intense. Quite funny. I'm like, I'll just do it better on mine

when I go next on a hen hunt. I'll just get you back. Oh, oh, oh, okay. All right. You've got to let things slide.

You've got to let things slide. So how does this podcast work? Oh, taste some wine. Delicious. And then. First of all, we're having something called Loveju right now, which is a hard seltzer drink. Yeah. Loveju.

Loveju. Loveju. Love juice. Love juice. Love juice. And it's, I'm having a raspberry, cucumber, lime, Korean ginseng, which is actually a really good herb for the old, I believe, for the prostate. Not even joking. What is?

Ginseng. I think it's a herb that men take for their sex health. Not even joking. Just say again, so what do you think, what does it do for your prostate? What do you it does specifically the prostate what does it do it's like the area around the bollocks to keep nice and healthy anyway that's not your prostate oh i don't know male sex organs wait hang on a second what do you think the prostate is i know that it presses on your bladder it makes you need to go for a week all the time in the night yeah i'm i thought that

was you i thought your prostate was your butthole. No, but I know why you think that. And we're not going to have this conversation. Wait, Preshy, hang on a second. I'm pretty sure the prostate, oh my God. Because you have a prostate massage. The prostate is your butthole. No, it's not.

Are you joking? Am I learning something new? Okay, Jemima's going. The prostate is a small gland in men that helps make semen. What the fuck? And it's a powerful gland. Apparently boys have like,

can they orgasm from their prostate being pressed? What is your bum hole? Schvinkter? Your bum hole's where your poo comes out and that's the end of that story. Prostate's completely different. Mind is blown, guys. You learn something new in this podcast every day.

Mind is blown. So what is that? What helps that what helps it what's it called gen zing i think gen zing i could be incorrect with that fact gen zing sounds very close to gen z anyway it's a really nice dream gen z's help your prostate we're getting a little do you know i've learned about these things as well five percent of their profits go to lgbtq plus which is obviously fucking fantastic and we're in prime and we're in prime month which Do you know what I've learned about these things as well? 5% of their profits go to LGBTQ+. Which is obviously fucking fantastic. And we're in Pride Month. And we're in Pride Month, which is amazing.

We do see all of your messages, guys. This is just a quick note. And we can't always reply to all of them or read them out on the pod. But obviously, we still love you writing them in. Can I just say about this podcast? I'm so proud of you guys this podcast is so great and i meet so many people who come up to me and talk about podcasting and

the one they mention always first is this one really always always mention this one it's like honestly the most wholesome wonderful podcast like i love doing it so much and ever all the writings are so good and juicy as fuck do you get people sliding into your dms as in like what like like guys being like hey you're hot yeah but nothing that you'd be wanting wanting to entertain really if i'm being honest that's good because you have a boyfriend that's thank god yeah nothing that you would entertain. Okay, good. Oh my God, you. Nothing ever. Don't believe it for a second.

I swear to God. I got one the other day from a bloke called Woody who just sent me loads of different penises. Lovely. Loads of different penises. Did he have a prostate? I didn't see his prostate. Maybe I should ask him. Do you drink ginseng?

So we have this little thing called sweet or dry where we're going to both say if we think it's sweet or dry yeah well we're gonna we're gonna both say if we think it's sweet or if it's dry basically i'll send like okay right all right so like grapes making an instagram page for his car dry as fuck i know you meant like fruit yes well we're obviously relating it back to the grapes and the wine jamie it's a cleverage you know okay sorry okay pressure you go so making an instagram page for his car dry that's not dry are you fucking kidding are you kidding me if you bought a car like a little smart car because yes you're gonna make an instagram page purely for that you know what even worse you've got a lamborghini make an instagram page for it

death hang on a second if i bought a 1980s carrera 911 p Porsche, you betcha I'm making an Instagram page for it. Not only that, I'll probably make a Snapchat, a TikTok and everything. No, no, no. And do you know what I'd name it? No, no, no. Do you know what I'd name it? You'd never guess. Ruth.

You know what? If it's not related back to you, Ruth, then it's fine. But if I'm dating a guy and he's like, yeah, yeah, this is my other Instagram page and it's just a Fiskart, that's horrible. You wouldn't like that? It's so flashy. It's like, yeah, yeah, this is my other Instagram page and it's just a Fizz cart. That's horrible. You wouldn't like that? It's so flashy. It's like you're making one for your watch. No. I think it's showing off and it's strange, strange.

Not a bad idea, actually. He's not taking it seriously, guys. I am. I swear to God, I am. It's not sweet. But I would if I had a car. You know what? You're entitled to your opinion. I'm going to give you one last chance. Every time I press on the accelerator do you know what I'd do

Ruth Ruth right so I've I've got an Instagram page for my shoes and my handbags just to brag about them just so everyone else

can see them what is wrong with you is that not going to put you exactly why are you being so flashy why are you being so flashy there we go there we go

so no but if you wanted to do that I would I would be like that that's totally cool. You can go and do that. You're such an understanding bloke. Yeah. But you know what?

We're being judgmental right now, so it's okay. So sweet or dry? I would say I want to... Would it put you off someone a bit? You'd be like, oh, that's a bit weird. Oh, would it put me off someone? I feel like I'm pressuring you into answering dry. Yeah, I feel like you are.

Sorry. Well, you answer what you want, honey. Honey, if someone really likes their car and makes an Instagram... People make Instagram accounts about their dog. Dog is fine. Dog is sweet. Why is a dog fine and the car isn't? Because a dog is a living thing and it's alive and it's cute.

It's got a personality. A car is something you spend loads of money on and you're bragging about it, in my opinion. I think it's a bit dry. Very different if you're enthusiastic of classic cars and you sell them and you have a business. Fine. Ooh. She made a very good point there. There's another tip twist there.

Okay, right. I think we're just going to call it a day with that one because we've got another two to get through and you're going to take half an hour to answer each one. All right.

Okay. Is that okay? Wearing matching perfume. I don't think it's dry, but I might. I do that. Get your own identity. Oh my God.

Am I dry? Like the whole, like. Would you match one of Sophie's furs? Yeah. Normally when she's sleeping, I rub her neck on my. Get your own identity. Oh my God. Am I dry? Like the whole... What do you match? Yeah. Normally when she's sleeping, I rub her neck on my... Get those pyramids. Yeah.

All over me. Just rub it all over me. No, I sometimes use her perfume. Yeah. Because I actually like... There's unisex ones, to be fair. Yeah, but I quite like... Do you know what I use for age

and I didn't realize I was using it? Is there's like an eau de toilette. Yeah. A room spray. I was using that. I did there's like an ur de toilette yeah a room spray i was using that i did not realize it was just on top of the loo and i was like this is wonderful was it the post food drops he was just going just putting it all over my neck honestly i was just spraying this little room spray on my neck i don't think that's dry i think people so jamie likes matching the loo fragrance i quite like it but I don't think that's dry. I think people... Also, Jamie likes matching the loo fragrance. Mmm.

Mmm. I quite like it. But I don't think that's wrong. If you... No, I think it's like fine. Like if you want to... If you've both got the same... Like I have one called

O-Eccentric Molecules, the O-001. It's meant to like help bring your pheromones out, guys. So people fancy you more. Free tip there. What is that? Just makes everyone fancy.

Why? Firstly... It's all I can say. Firstly, okay, hang on. Preshy, this is... this is i've got to be back this is this is what i keep hearing so firstly nothing ever to entertain it when you go into sliding of dms and you're wearing stuff to make sure people fancy you more what the hell is this about i'm only joking i don't think you are okay no no but it does it's

got something in it that helps bring out your natural pheromones but it's very much so like a unisex like anyone can wear it and it helps bring out your natural scent so it smells different on every person is the idea i tell you what i did when i was younger okay i came across something called lynx probably don't know yes i do lynx africa it's fucking legendary just lynx africa you have loads of different links i know but lynx africa was the one that was big in my day all right i know i'm like literally 20 years younger yeah, when you weren't even born and I was 24. I'm not that much older. Oh my God, imagine.

I'm not that much older, but I was probably 10 or whatever I was. I must be nine. Anyway, I found Lynx and I was going to a Scottish dance. I was going to a Scottish dancing ball with my cousins. He's in his little kilt. I wasn't wearing a kilt. I had tartan trus, though. Oh, sweet.

Tartan trus. And I put my clothes on the bed, and I had this lynx, and I was like, boy, are the girls going to go wild for this. No, you sprayed it on your penis. No, I didn't spray it on my penis. Sorry. Nine or whatever I'm doing. I must be 11.

I sprayed it all over my clothes back front legs everyone i was like and i was and i was like this is gonna be sick i put it on i walked downstairs haven't seen anyone yet walk into the room walk straight up to my cousin my cousin goes what are you wearing and i was in my head kill your cool. And in my head I went, oh no. I've put too much on. Yes, you have. So the whole night I couldn't go near anyone because I was so embarrassed. And I smacked too much of Lynx.

Nothing was. Right, anyway. Okay, so. So to answer that question, I think it's quite sweet. Clearly, I think Jamie thinks it's sweet too. Okay, sweet. By the way, you don't have to tell a story every time we talk about something. It's okay.

I'm sorry. I'm full of narratives. What can I do? He's full of that. I'm sorry. I'm full of narratives. What can I do? He's full of that. He's full of stories. He's full of stories. Squeezing and smacking each other's butts. Yeah, sweet.

Yeah, that's very sweet. I squeeze Toby's butt all the time. Does he have a good butt? Huge. It's bigger than mine. It's massive. Really? He's got a big butt?

Big butt. I have quite a big butt as well. Yeah, you do actually. Yeah, I have a big butt. You do have a big butt. Did he play sport though when he was younger no not really

he's always been a runner maybe that's what's wrong I played a lot of sport here's another story Jesus I'm not even gonna give the story but anyway I played a lot of sport when I was younger

and because of that I now have a boot I think it's genetics because I didn't play sport and I have a big butt I genuinely think it's genetics some people are so sporty they have no butt

I don't know I just gotta alright well you've got a big butt and you'd have no butt. I don't know. I just got to... All right, well, you've got a big butt and you'd be proud of it. There's no reason. You're just born like that, honey. Big butt. You know what big butt means?

Big prostate. Big prostate, yeah, exactly. Right, should we actually get into the dilemmas now? Is that it? Before this gets freaky. Okay, come on. Here we go. Before this gets a bit freaky.

Welcome, everyone, to the podcast. Dilemmas Here we go The one that got away Hello Melissa and Sophie Hello Melissa and Jamie I adore your podcast It takes me back to fun bonding times with my girlies Thank you so much

I'm a gay man from New Zealand With the obsession of this one hook up I had with a guy five years ago. He's the one that got away or follow up that never aligned. But you always wonder what could come about with some effort. Wait, five years ago? We're really like clocking back the decades. I suspect the feelings I felt on his end, but a few occasions I've been in town, we never met up.

I get a little sore with the short-lived conversations. And when he leaves me on read, what should do am i living in a fantasy yes i'm really baffled that we're this obsessed over someone that we met five years ago we haven't seen in five years wow but that's true love honey oh my god no i don't think i think it's infatuation it's not that is love baby no i think this is like the story from the great gatsby where you have this idea of like what you think something should be and you're so deeply in love and they haven't seen them in so many years and he finally faces his reality when he sees that girl again what's his what's the name the girl Daisy when he meets Daisy again and none of it

lives up to the expectation she's like a bit crazy and he's like oh why don't you love me and then it all just is not what he was expecting it's not the reality it's all in his head like this dreamland so you've never met anyone that you've fallen in love with and years later you've met them being like you fell in love with toby straight away did you so stunning you fell in love with him straight away straight away but i was like quite into it straight away yeah can i quickly say about the toby situation i was the one who said you should date this guy i know i was the one by the way ladies and gentlemen who set this up i really put it down there the first time you put it straight down i don't really know why no not for me neither do i yeah that was really weird i think in my mind i was like no he's not brunette i just think you were in like yeah i had this

stupid tick tick tick off i love people but back in the day this is why it was so amazing because like you would love was like love now i think the problem with love now is that people are so instant and they just want they they have so many options. Whereas before there weren't enough options. And so you just pined after people and love people and you met someone and then you would spend years writing to them or just. I know the commitment was phenomenal. You're so right. It's such a great commitment.

Now people are fickle. And so they give up on love so quickly. We have too much choice. We have too much choice. And you shouldn't, you should, when you find that connection, you should really hunt for it and live for it and die for it i do agree but i do think in this scenario i think that you would be together if he wanted to be together with you like it's been five years god i think you're wasting your time and it's the idea of someone you don't even know him that well you've met him once jesus christ that's you don't know you're in love with someone after once you can yeah you do for sure yeah do. You can build up a love story in your brain.

I truly believe that. You can really fantasize and build up this whole scenario in your brain. You can love people straight away. What? Yeah, 100%. I must have told you that. I've told this before. Yeah, you can.

You can love people straight away. An electric shock and you're like, oh my God, I love them. Listen, I think that you are a little bit, I think it's slightly unrealistic. I think that you maybe are living in a little bit i think it's slightly unrealistic i think that you maybe are living in a little bit of a fantasy but just to say that like you've tried your best and you're never going to have that what if why don't you just reach out to him be like look i actually really fancy like maybe dating you or like giving this a go i'd be willing to like make a bit of an effort like what do you think like i know it's been a long time if that's how you really feel otherwise what have you got to lose that's great advice i was going to say don't overthink it

he doesn't make an effort to get there like they don't live in i like that they don't live in this so make an effort i love that one okay dilemma two how do i initiate an office romance this is sounding steamy and there already. There we go. Okay, I absolutely love listening to the gorgeous girls every Wednesday. Keep up the good work. Now, I need some advice. I absolutely fancy the pants of this guy in my office, but we're on completely separate teams,

so don't have work nights out together, etc. Damn it, we're missing out on this. We sometimes have a chat in the kitchen when we bump into each other, but I would love to take it to the next level and I'm struggling to in a work environment. Any tips would be much appreciated. HR would not like this. HR. I can tell you exactly what to do.

Go on then. I can tell you exactly what to do. I can tell you. Oh, I got it. No. Have I ever dated anyone in the workplace? I've never dated anyone in the workplace. We've never worked in a strict office. This is quite different speak yourself you haven't missed i've been on a main shelf since i was 20 years old

speak yourself honey um okay someone told me a great idea the other day how to flirt with people and maybe you should do this in the workplace which i think is really cool they said around a dinner table right what you should do is if it's like a if it's like a dinner table you're having dinner together you should and normally it's done on whatsapp or whatever and things like that there's someone you fancy at the dinner table yeah what you should start doing is whatsapping them under the table messaging them and go hey are you having a fun time and then they would so you make a private joke between each other at the table so therefore you have this like fun sort of romantic thing between but no one else knows it's a secret

in the workspace you should do the same thing you should exchange numbers and then when you're in the workplace just must be like oh god isn't today boring and they'll be like haha i know hey let's play a fun game start flirting start playing a fun game keep it simple just start playing a really fun game i think that's great but how does she get his number this is the next ask for it that's quite a big move find it there must be like a workplace scenario where you have like a separate work phone and there's like a team's thing and he's on on slack so you could do jamie's thing and be like hey are you finding today really dull or is it just me and always say this kick things

off boy isn't today a drag always kick things off with that i go hey you want to go to the diner and get a milkshake are we american yeah always sometimes right hey you want to go bowling oh my god i saw something the other day i don't know what it was and it was like the best way to like get someone i can't remember who's the guy who said to anyone i think it's podcast or something i saw this like clip and it was like to get a guy to like fancy you and like think about you in a certain way if you're in a club i know we're not in a club right now but you could do you could operate this in the same in the workspace so okay you make them like hold your jacket or something so say you're in the kitchen oh can you hold this for me whilst i go do this so then he's automatically

doing you a favor but doesn't feel like he is so hold your jacket you run out the kitchen you go get something you come oh my god thank you so so much please can i repay you can i take you out for a drink for like doing that for me and then it's almost like creepy you know but like you're getting in there without like seeming desperate because he's done you a favor because you've asked him to because you seem a bit like oh my god do you mind doing this for me i'm really sorry emergency emergency and then when you when you come back and like he's like done it and you mind doing this for me? I'm really sorry. Emergency, emergency. And then when you come back and he's done it and you're like, okay, good, thank you so much.

Please can I return the favor and take you out for a drink or something? I'd love to make it up to you. So chilled. I just love the idea of someone running through the club trying to find the person. Oh my God, I'm in such an emergency. Hey.

No, no, no. Oh, you random person. Can you hold my jacket? In the club it was. You're at the bar and you see a guy you fancy. So you work your way over to him and you're like, oh my gosh. Sorry, I'm really sorry. Do you mind holding my jacket?

My friend's just fallen over. Or something. Anyway, so you give it to them and you go over to him and you come back. Thank you so much. Oh, I really want to make it up to you. Can I buy you a drink? Why don't you just be old school and just go straight up to people? I mean, it's quite complicated,

but apparently a fucking genius because in the guy's head, he then feels like a bit of a hero because he's helped you in the slightest and men like to feel like they're helping a woman, right? So he's already feeling like a bit of a hero.

Then she's asking him for a drink, but she's doing it in a way that's not like, I fancy I want a drink. She's like, I'm repaying the favor. That's smart. Okay.

I think workplaces, I did say, just go up to the favor. I know exactly what you mean. Okay, I think workplaces... I did say just go up to the master. I became a member of a gym. This is no word of a lie. I became a member of a gym. It was Equinox. Okay? Yeah.

I don't know why I said the name, but it was. It's a lovely gym. It's a lovely gym. And I had to sign up for a year contract, whatever. That's a long time to be a gym. You had to sign up for 12 months. Fuck. Sign up for a 12-month contract with Equinox or whatever it was anyway like this the set like the fifth day this is ages ago i went

to the gym and there was this really like hot person working out there and i was like oh my god she's so hot so i was like okay i'm gonna go and ask her on a date so i walked up to her and i went um hi there uh i run a candy company no no, no, no, no, no. Why did you start giving your resume? I run a candy company and I'm looking for some models to take photos. Can I possibly take your number? And I would love to help out with a shoot. She was like, yeah, great. She was American. Fine. Cool. I was like, great. Fine. No, she was Spanish. Sorry. Anyway, took the number. Meso later that later that day saying hey sorry um I didn't want to embarrass uh myself in front of you at the time but um I don't want to ask you to do my

modeling for my canning company I would love to take you on a date what did she say no reply so the next morning I woke up and I was like and I was a bit hung over that's why I replied saying is that a spontaneous yes or a straightforward no no reply and i could never go back to the gym no you can't never so i paid a 12 month contract oh my god that's deathly yeah so we'll be careful of the workspace yeah you don't want that is kind of true you don't want to like fuck it up i feel like doing it in the way that we've said is like very subtle you're not asking him like to be your girlfriend you're not so fine okay final tip for the women is this is like life is too short don't miss out on opportunities go for it okay so final tip is i'm gonna be more specific with you no just don't overthink it either yeah i think don't overthink

it i think you can maybe do it in a fun way to try and get his number and then just just flirt fake a heart attack next to him and so he has to perform some sort of cpr on you and then go my hero and kiss him back as he's doing it listen listen listen listen we go into the kitchen we bump into him in the kitchen and i think you're like oh my god are you guys gonna go we're actually going out for work drinks later does any of you guys team want to join us like i think it'll be quite jokes like today's so boring but what happens if you're not going for team drinks make sure that you are okay so find a day that you can organize your whole team to go on drinks then find a time that you bump it this is so complicated just go up to them and be like boy i fancy you you want to go so simple just do it if guys don't like that would you like that if someone came up if someone

came up to me and said i think you you're really hot, I'd be like, get in line. Get in line behind, you know, the other person who works in IT. Okay? Like, too many. Helen from the security department. God, get behind Helen. Jesus.

Right, listen. Okay. We need to just be chilled about this and just be like, look, we're all actually, some of us are going for drinks like later if you want to join us. Chilled. You will gauge

and he will either be like, yeah, yeah, sweet, I'll come or he'll be like, no, no, I can't come but I'll go with you another time if you fancy it. You're giving him an opportunity or he'll be like,

no, sorry, can't tonight and then you've kind of got your answer and then he will follow up with you again if he wants to.'ll know he's gauging something you're giving him a lifeline there with that i hope someone's listening to this both men and women in the same office this happens to someone i hope now some person goes up to someone goes hey we're going for work and they have to go take because they're listening to they go sorry what was that take the headphones out they go oh no we're going for work drinks with the team don't have you fancy that probably happens all the time jamie loads of people meet at work

i know i know i know okay right dilemma three hi girls only recently found your podcast and i'm loving it so much oh my god thank you so much we love you i've got a dilemma here regarding my relationship i've been with my partner who's a male for 27 years for over sorry he's 27 for over six years and we're now engaged i'm 25 oh my god how lovely that's a long time to be together how long was it six years and they're engaged now she's 25 so we're both together so like 20 years old we live together and have a puppy who is now one years old sorry is this my friend jack and i'm like this is like really fucking me the issue in short is that i have old. Sorry, is this my friend Jack and Hermione? This is like really fucking weird. The issue in short is that I have no friends,

but as he plays sport like football and cricket all year round, he's constantly out playing sports every Saturday, which includes a 3 a.m. return home and a hangover on a Sunday and sometimes weekdays. As I don't have any friends like at all, I always get left at home alone with the dog as the dog can't be left at home alone and I have no plans anyway. Okay.

This is quite shit because the boyfriend's just like piling her off with the dog. No. No. No way. The guy is just doing his thing. He's playing some sport.

Great for the endorphins. Great for team bonding. He's having a good time. I think if Toby was doing every single Friday and Saturday night and not coming home. He's coming home drunk. Are they engaged?

Fuck me up, they're engaged. They are engaged. I think... They've been together for six years. They live together with the dog. Okay, I think... He's not taking responsibility, I don't think, for the dog. I've got it. I've got it.

I've got it. No, we're not done yet, hon. Oh, okay. We're still going through. I lost my one friend as I was always prioritizing his plants so he could go out or trying to spend more time with him as we don't spend enough time together often and it's gotten to the point where my friend no longer talks to me anymore as i'm so unavailable to hang out which i completely understand i've tried to keep myself busy watching tv

reading taking the dog exploring but i just mentally draining feeling so alone and stuck in the house i can't drive this drive. It's gone to the point where I've put on weight going from a size 6 to a size 12 and I just feel like I've lost myself and have nothing, nothing to me if that makes sense. Every time I try to tell him how I'm feeling he says go to the gym or just make friends and he doesn't realise to do those things he'll need to stay home to look after the dog. I've been feeling like this for nine months and it's really getting me down. I love him so much and i just wish i could feel comfortable with my own company and the dog and i just don't know what to do anymore okay i've got

your answer firstly doggies are a nightmare that's the first thing they're a responsibility for sure like you have to really make sure that you're ready for it as a couple you can't take it on like i'll tell you this firstly you're beautiful whoever you are you're beautiful yeah doesn't matter what you're doing where you're beautiful and that you love yourself 100 every single day secondly so you're a rock star doesn't matter what you're doing secondly i think in relationship what sometimes happens is that people lose their identity because they're so focused on one another the other person that they don't spread out and actually what you have to start doing is you have to now realize that you're in this situation you have to start reaching out to your old friends

yeah and reconnecting reconnect baby take the dog with you go for lunch take the dog with you yeah there's so many places that are dog friendly you go out for dinner with the dog like go on walks with your friends have picnics like there's so much you can do with the dog also the dog can be left at home for five hours like that's the max you can leave a dog at home and don't blame your partner but your partner does have to compromise in other places sure but i think if there's like a scenario where you don't actually have plans and like by default you're just at home with the dog he can go out if that's what he wants to do but there is definitely like a time where he should step in and look after the dog but he's probably thinking well if you're not going out anyway then why don't you just stay in with the dog yeah so don't give him the excuse

start playing hardball honey yeah start playing hardball reconnect with those old friendships really start to get yourself into a lovely routine of like even just working out at home also walking the dog a bit more like going for dog walks with other friends maybe you should join like a puppy training class or something because there's so many other people like god look at your advice that you can meet do you know what melissa melissa i don't know why i keep saying melissa i know very formal do you know what mary you give great advice i know you give fantastic advice you have got a strong head i do with my i'll say prostate let's just round this off

okay let's round this off this is serious alright here we go don't lose yourself in the relationship don't lose yourself this is a very exciting time of your life

there you go and I think reach out to your family reach out to the old friends that you've lost touch with I think the friend that you've recently like lost

and like you've drifted apart from I think really make an effort to like make that right yes and it's just so important that your friends can come over to your house for dinner and stuff like lost and like as you've drifted apart from I think really make an effort to like make that right yes and it's just so important like your friends can come over to your house for dinner

and stuff like that as well like if you do really feel like you want to be at home with the pooch that's fine you can do things with the dog there you go very easily

I don't think you should be using the dog as an excuse the dog's not an excuse but also I do equally think that your boyfriend has to step in and I make me over an effort to stay at home

with the pooch as well there we go I love that that is a great you just nailed it again but also congratulations because getting engaged is epic there you go have a magical day fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m with your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario.

Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded. Or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com.

Please play responsibly. What's next? There we have something lovely called story time. What is that? Is this what you tell me a story? No, so the listeners, the lovely, lovely

tiny whinies, write in their little stories and just like tell us some jokes, things. Can I read it? You can. Oh my God, get out. Can I actually? So it's a story time. Oh my God, okay. It's always good fun. Okay. write in their little stories and just like tell us some jokes things can i read it you can oh my god get out it's a story time oh my god okay it's always good fun okay absolutely love your podcast

congratulations sophie on your iconic wedding thank you very much uh i just had a courtly social media stalking tale that i wanted to share karma really came to bite me in the back background story my ex and i of three years broke up last year. He was offered a job abroad and we were planning to both go and work out there. We packed up our entire lives, our flat, both our jobs, and he flew out there before me to get settled.

I was supposed to meet him in a couple of months later. Once his new company secured me a job, it soon became clear that there was no job for me and I was stuck in the uk it got really hard trying to navigate next steps and sadly after miscommunications frustrations at the lack of work offers we ended up breaking up after a few weeks of him being out there oh that's really sad and heartbreaking three years i was devastated to find out through social media that within a matter of weeks he had moved on and already had a new girlfriend.

I reckon there was never a job opportunity. There was never a job opportunity. And then there might have been jobs, but he was telling you that there wasn't. Oh my God. And he had met this new girl. I was absolutely gutted at how quickly he moved on and even more shocked to find out that his new girlfriend was his manager. That's why there was no job offers.

There probably wasn't. He just told you there wasn't because he was falling in love with his manager. Oh my god. I mean, we'll find out because it's a story. Carry on. Fast forward to today. Of course, we are all guilty of it. The occasional social media torture stalk. I see a recent happy one year anniversary post on her page. So then you do

the maths. I know. With caution, I tried to zoom on the details, but Instagram did me dirty. The dreaded red heart pops on my screen. Oh, no. I've accidentally double tapped the fucking anniversary picture. Shit. Panic.

Don't want to unlike it because then I thought I looked like a stalker who got caught. So instead, I leave it. So fine. I panic, delete the app and throw my phone across the room. Then come to my senses and realize it's fine. I just unlike the picture and pretend like nothing happened. I just swallow my pride across the room. Then come to my senses and realize it's fine. I just unlike the picture and pretend like nothing happened. I just swallow my pride.

Move on. Oh my God. I try to get back onto the app to unlike the picture. However, divine intervention takes place. And it just so happens that the whole of Instagram is down. Oh my God. It's down for the entire night. Oh my God. In the matter of seconds of me liking the post,

I cannot go back on the app. I cannot go back on my page, and I cannot unlike the picture. I obviously lay awake for hours in pure dread, reflecting on my life decisions. So now as it stands, 24 hours later, I still liked my ex's new girlfriend's 20th anniversary post of them together.

I'm mortified, but I guess this is what happens when you stalk late at night sailor v fml i can confirm i'm now happy in a new relationship which makes the stalking even worse oh my god no that's so sweet oh my god that's excellent but also let's just also just remember like if the instagram was down for you it would have been down for him too so like you still could have unlike this hey back up and running don't get the truth and we have a good story honey could have been down

in that country he is in a different country sure sure sure I also think it's quite funny if you like because it's kind of like don't give a fuck congratulations

more to fuck happy one year I like the idea it's fine it's alright I'm just gonna unlike it the Instagram goes down that is like the worst thing

that could ever happen have I ever told the story when what did you say when I used to have I like it. The Instagram goes out. That is like the worst thing that could ever happen. Have I ever told the story when... What did you say? When I used to have two phones, my normal phone and work phone. Yeah. And I was in South Africa. And my friends, Toby and my friend Fox, managed to log on to my Instagram account by my work phone.

And we were out in south africa at a wedding i had met a girl i was taking this girl on dates we're having fun i take a girl on a date and suddenly my phone keeps bloop bloop bloop up with instagram messages and she kept looking go are you messaging a girl while you're with me and i said no i'm not why does it keep coming up my friends had gone on instagram and messaged j Wright from The Only Wears Essex and messaged her something like saying. That's so random. Something like, hey

because I was in a tennis competition with her that we had fun together. Right. Messaged her saying, hey it was so fun to see you in your tennis whites. We'd love to meet up and go on a date. Oh my god. I was like, oh my god. So I quickly replied just saying. Did she reply like, yeah. No no she replied yeah you have to go no that wasn't me i quickly replied because i

only saw this like later reply saying i'm so sorry that was my friends she replied going yeah yeah sounds like the vodka talking and i left it my friends replied saying yeah you got me oh my god oh my god so she too this day thinks you tried to take her on a date Yeah, you got me. Oh my God. Oh my God. So she too this day thinks that you tried to take her on a date. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. So embarrassing. That is so good.

You love a good Instagram stalk. Right, maybe we round it off there. Maybe we rate these little like alcoholic things. Well, listen, I would say they're very delicious. They're very great. But the fact that they give 5% to LGBTQ plus community, I think phenomenal. I love all of that. That's amazing.

Also, the smell on this is really amazing. What is it, Gen Zing? I'm going to be rubbing that, I think phenomenal. I love all of that. That's amazing. Also, the smell on this is really amazing. What is it, ginseng? I'm going to be rubbing that all over my prostate. It's really lovely, guys. This is one of the best hard seltzers I think I've actually ever had. No, I'm not even joking. It's delicious. And any men out there,

if you just sit upside down and pour it all over your prostate, boy, will you have a fun time. Best sex you'll ever have. Best sex you'll ever have. Okay, guys, thank you so much. Oh, no, we need to rate it. What do we rate it out of 10?

Well, listen. Should we go with a nine? I'm going to be totally honest. It's no way near as good as moth cocktails. It's different. I know it's a salsa, but I'm just putting it out there. Okay. Not that I am an investor or anything like that.

I just think they're great. And so if I take moth out of the equation, which is very hard, I will give it a solid 7.5 okay it's harsh because it's one of the best hard sets I've ever

actually had I'm going to give it an 8 okay it's only.5 ahead of me yeah right how do you rate this episode?

pretty good yeah I think so do you know why? not me right fine guys love you so much thank you for listening I thought you were saying love you too Bresh do you know why not me right bye guys love you so much thank you for listening

I thought you were saying to me love you too Bresh I'll see you later love you so much bye guys bye guys see you next Wednesday

hey remember to hey if you have any dilemmas remember to send it to our Instagram at Wednesdays We Drink Wine or you can send it to our email

at www.jamppoppproductions.co.uk. winter bundle is our best match offer yet get a two percent match when you transfer over an eligible rsp for a fifty thousand dollar transfer that's a thousand dollar cash bonus enough to buy a fancy parka a ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund plus move any other eligible account and we'll give you a one percent match minimum fifteen thousand dollar transfer Register by March 15th. Additional terms apply. Learn more at wealthsimple.com slash match. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling, winning.

Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11pm every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game

outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11pm Eastern. Research and supply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com Please play responsibly. That's it for this week Wednesdays, but God, don't you just fancy some more Melissa yeah I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas I want to know what happens well then tinies we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of Wednesdays

now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio