Wednesdays - 116. The BEST Winter Skincare Routine & Melissa’s Favourite Treatments ft Elle Hartley

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

Heyyy Tinies!This week, Melissa's joined by the lovely Elle Hartley from Elle Hart Medical. Elle is Sophie and Melissa’s trusted aesthetician so she is the perfect person to give us the insider tea on how to look after our skin this winter!The girls deep dive into what treatments Melissa and Elle are getting done before Christmas and Elle gives us the lowdown on the best winter morning and night time skincare routine, including some affordable dupes! Plus, Elle also reveals of what she thinks about recent celeb face lifts…In this week’s dilemma’s, one Tiny sends in a dilemma about a weird guy who claims he dated Melissa?! Another Tiny has mixed feelings about going public with her friends with benefits. What should she do?Enjoy the episode xFollow Elle on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hart.medical/?hl=enGot a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail]--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Executive Producer: Jemima RathboneProducer: Helen BurkeAssistant Producer: Issy Weeks-HankinsVideo: Lizzie McCarthy & Jake JiSocial: Anthony Barter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either, and we're not psychologists, and we're not experts in anything. In fact, we just challenge a lot of shit, so... And we love giving you guys advice, but as we said, we love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Guys, welcome back to a new episode. We have the gorgeous...

Eleanor Hartley on today from Heart Medical. L. Heart Medical, you can be know her. Thanks, Tammy. We talk all about what I have done, what you do to be in the clinic. And skincare routines, seasonal skincare, morning and night routines, the best kind of treatments. All those good things. And we have our usual juicy dilemmas. Very juicy dilemmas.

Including a weird dilemma from a guy who claims he dated me, which he didn't. Enjoy the episode. Guys, welcome to a new episode, and we have... Welcome! I wanted to call you Ellie Belly, but that's because what? Ellie Belly! Ellie Belly! The cutest shoes.

Oh yeah, I was singing that the other day with you, and now it's in my head. Anyway, I'm really getting into the festive spirit. Well, I've got my festive jumper on. That is making me feel so Christmasy. And I'm going to go straight to Zara and buy it off this. Lovely, they've got some lovely stuff. It's autumn winter slash Christmas. It's so nice.

I'm going to go into Zahara straight off this. some bits. Yeah, there's some good things. I need to put my tree up. Is it a real tree? No. Oh, Melissa! Do you know why?

What? Do you want to know why? Why? I guess. There's pesticides on the trees. Not even fucking joking. Oh, God. And I won't have the chemicals in my house.

Toby's alerted to the trees. No but me and the chemicals. Yeah. But wait, do you know what you could do is you could do one of those like where you plant the Christmas tree? Oh, in the water bucket. I have seen that. That's all a bit much.

But then it's recycled and it and it lives in, the UK and they didn't have to put pesticides. Are you sure they put pesticides? Wait, where am I putting the tree in the summer? It goes back to a forest. They replant it. Do they really? Babe, that's like the most sustainable way to do Christmas. So basically they deliver the tree that's being fully grown. Yeah.

And it comes in like a thing. And then you have the tree. Sure. And then they come and pick it up. And then they replant it and then grow it a little bit more. That is a stunning way to do Christmas trees. Because otherwise they're just like chopping them down. And then next thing, you know, they're on the street.

Well, in January, it's so depressing, isn't it? Disgusting. That is the worst thing about January is just having the trees on the... Or like when the tree's in your house till like February and then you can't move it because if you move it, all the little stuff comes off. You know what? I see quite a lot. It's really like bad, like weird vibes in like March when you're walking down the street

and sometimes like where I live, I like... I always peer into people's houses because I'm such a nosy parker. Immune tape you'll do walks like, oh, that kitchen's nice or whatever. And sometimes people still have their fucking trees up. and I'm like, what on... That's the bonus of bang, a superficial... And you know what it is? Artificial, at least it still looks good.

But the real ones, it's always like... They're like really... Not student housing, but like a couple people fresh out of you that are all showing a flat. And they've gone, yeah, let's get Christmas. Let's just get in their spirit. And then you're so lazy at that age, seems to get rid of it. So it's just sat in the living room that whole time. And then they'll have like a really small balcony and they'll just go,

that'll do shop out of the balcony for the next six months. But it's literally there till somehow. But how like, how big does it feel in your house once the Christmas tree is gone. Oh my god. It's like literally like I gained like 400 square feet. It's unbelievable. I honestly don't even think I'll do a Christmas tree this year. All right. What? What's going on? Mrs. French, I don't believe in putting up till first December. No, I'm going to have one. No, I'm going back up north on the 19th. So yeah. And then I'm going to South Afi, South Africa. When are you doing that? Oh, is this? It's not, it's not happening. He's already told me it's not happening.

Oh, okay, fine. We had suspicions that there may or may not be a big diamond ring. coming out around that time right here. You know, it gets to a point where it's like every fucking trip it could be. So you just have to prepare yourself. Then I was looking good. Well, I was actually thinking about getting some polyneclicity in my hand. Oh, yes. Because otherwise, I was saying that the day it's going to look like when I do my like picture,

it will literally just look like, you know, when people have their old grandma. They hold their grandma's hand in the hospital bed. That's what it's going to look like because my hands, my hands look so old. Are you? No, no, no, no. Stop. My hands look so old. So anyway, actually, if I am going to do some like regenerative treatments, I need a couple more months anyway to get my hands looking like a baby's.

Right. So we've got to start prepping now. So I need to stop prepping the hands. On the topic of polyneuclid diets, should we just cover it slightly? How much are we going to do on me before Christmas? We're going to do a lot. Loads. I do every year before I go up north. Yeah. I will literally obliterate my face. I do all the treatments. Because there's no other time because I always need to be presentable in clinic. So, it's true. Before I go home for Christmas. I would literally do everything to my face

and I'll sit at like Christmas dinner across my 96 year old nan with like black eye bruises and my skin falling off my mom's like it's so disrespectful that you refuse to do this for your patience but yet you're happy to sit in front of your 96 year old grandmother looking like you've been through six rounds

but yeah so I'm going to do I'll tell you what I'm going to do deep aggressive microneedling I only do it once a year because I have rosacea and I do feel like microneedling all the time creates a bit too much surface level trauma to the skin when you're a rosacea girlie.

Then I'm going to do a full face of polynucleotides. So are we injecting the polynuclidides? Yep. Separately to the miconeadle. So our microneedle exosomes maybe. Lovely. And is that from the blood? No.

So exosomes are little tiny like extra cellular vesicles which carry components of things like stem cells and growth factors. Lovely. We love stem cell. So to be fair, the jury and the evidence is still out there with exosomes in terms of how.

it actually works in the real mechanism of action but the anecdotal evidence and I mean the safety profile is there so the ones that I use the human ones are illegal so if anyone's getting human exosomes injected into themselves yeah it's not the vibe right we get our own though you can take your own yeah so you can take your blood and you can extract exosomes but again how good is it's only as good as you okay but so I use these ones called purosomes which are bovine colostrum derived exosomes but so I use these ones called purosomes which are bovine colostrum derived exosomes but So they're from the first milk, which means that they carry a lot of, they have a lot of antioxidants. They're like, it's all about building your immunity. So it's really high quality exosomes. Yeah. So anyway, so I'll do that on the skin. Then I'll inject the polynucleotide. So I'm going to do around the eye.

I haven't done my eyes for ages. And so that'll just be straight polynucleotide. So that's going to be like regenerating the tissue, increasing the skin density. Yeah. It essentially heals any specific DNA damage that your skin's undergone. So it allows your skin to be able to create better quality collagen. Lovely. And then I'll do a little combo, maybe in the old nasolabials, the nasal labials, around the mouth.

I probably will do some profile. I don't find it painful. Actually, you know what, maybe not neck. I don't think I've ever had neck, but chest when you pop back yet. Blackheads. Fuck me. But I probably will do neck and deck, profiloh and then profiloh hands.

And I know this is going to make me sound like an absolutely unique take, but I literally do it once a year. Okay. It's once a year. So essentially that's just like my little stack of kickstarting that collagen synthesis, collagen banking. So whenever we're creating any injury to the skin,

so whether that's microneedling, whether that's any injections, we're stimulating a wound healing response, right? Our body's like, ah, I've been injured. and then and then and then and then and then stimulates all of those wound healing growth factors and that's essentially then going to trigger new collagen production so doing that even just like once a year there's these split-face studies that show that even six months after one microneedling session you were still like having new fibroglass yeah and also guys look at else face

so that's what that does it just really rejuvenates It keeps you young. It's regenerative. There's delayed onset of these results. It's not like your kind of very binary result of like toxins or dermal fillers. You're putting all these things into your tissue, into your skin. And then your body is doing the rest. Doing the rest.

Yeah. I will say I have to vouch for you with the polynuclearide. When I first ever came to you, no one else was talking about polyneuclidide. And you were like telling me about the salmon sperm stuff. and I was like, I'm scared about putting fish sperm in my face. And you're like, no, it's what they put in wounds. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I trusted you.

And my God, I had this, like, I still do. Barely, though. I can barely see it. At one point, this one was like, I had deep, like, it was almost like there was a darkness in the line. Yeah. And it was like deep pigmentation or something. Anyway, you put so much polynuclite.

I can't tell if it's there anymore or not, but either I don't notice it or it's gone. I think it's just that it's thick. It's thick in the skin, right? Because it was your naso-jugal groove while you've got a little ligament. It's called a malar bag. Malar bag.

It's the vein of my life. This Malar bag. Malar bag. It's basically when your eye bag goes from your tear off all the way down to your chin in a diagonal. It doesn't. It's not at all. It just goes through the cheek.

It's like split. Me and my brother have it and my dad. It's a little bit of edema, the malar edema just here. But honestly, you can barely see it. Because it's densified. Yeah, you've done some magic on it. It's densified. It's densified.

And that. this is actually the whole point of like, it took time, right? Oh, God. I would say like eight months. It really did take time and persistence and eventually all of a sudden it's just boom. And patience. I think also with these things and your approach to stuff is you have to be prepared for not like walking out with an instant result and seeing how your body responds to things and like builds it all up. I feel like we're getting, I think people in general are getting better at that delayed onset, right?

We're like investing in ourselves for the future as opposed to wanting to. the results. I'm wearing it now. I mean, you can do that. That's your clear skin. That's your little skin boosters that make you look. Guys, clear skin is another hat. I would say my favorite things that you've ever done on me. Polyneucidide, number one. Yeah. Jaw, slimming, top. So that's now in the hands of my gorgeous portrait. I know. I've shipped her off. I'm done with you. I'm not just you anymore. Sorry, the first time he did it, I was like, I can't have anyone else touch my face. He is so good at doing the door slimming. He's like, Melissa, Tatton follows me. She's my miss famous client. He loves it. He literally died when Sophie followed

him. He's a whole thing. What does he say? He said like, you know, your problem? You. You've got too much money and too much time. He's like, you got too much money and too much time. Stop overthinking everything on your face. I was like, okay, John, no, I don't have wrong. Thank you. Thank you. Sometimes you need to hear shit like that and I was actually like, okay, fair, I'm not going to worry about that anymore. Yeah. Okay, right. Question, can you please tell us morning and evening skincare routines for winter because it's dry and it's cold and also maybe some sort of more affordable suggestions for the time. I know me. I'm like very brand agnostic in my clinic in that I have certain brands that I work with and that I love because of the evidence and the science behind it. But also

I love when I can recommend a product that is a really good price point. Yeah. I actually I actually feel really bad. I'm like, okay, so this is a product you need. I'm really sorry. It's so expensive. I hate it. I really hate it. So I actually really like kind of having a little bit of a mix. I think in terms of skincare for winter, I'm a big believer in seasonal skincare routines because what your skin needs will change, right? Yes. So winter is usually more about barrier support. It's much colder outside. We're going from hot to cold. There's like a heating, air conditioning in that like sucks the moisture out of your skin. So I do feel like typically you will. will need a little bit more support for hydration.

That doesn't necessarily mean you need to reach for your cecoplast and be like slathering all over your face. And actually, what you'll find is that a lot of people, and what I find in clinic is a lot of people present with like periore dermatitis, which is essentially just inflammation around the mouth and the nose. That apparently is increasing more and more. Why is that? It can be caused by loads of different things.

I literally got it when I all waxed my mustache the other day. Oh. You don't have it now? Well, it's gone. fucking hell you can get rid of it so quickly people struggle to get rid of it because it's like an underlying you can have like a really low level underlying chronic inflammation that's there all the time and it can be quite difficult to treat but then they'll like slap on loads of amolia and occlusive moisturizers and it just makes it worse so it's kind of it can be a little bit of a vicious cycle with that um so yeah I think hydration is important in bowel support but that doesn't mean layering and over over-ecluding the skin with really heavy emoliance or heavy moisturisers. It can actually make it worse because it disregulates your natural hydration in the skin. So honestly, I think I don't wash my face in the morning. Neither do I.

I'm not a morning face-washy girl. I think if you're quite sebaceous, if you're more acne or oily, you might want to wash your face in the morning, fine. But I do think that going into a colder season, you probably want to make sure that you're retaining your natural oil in your skin so that you have the lipid, seramides in the skin rather than just like rinsing everything off in the morning or stripping it.

So I would probably say, skip out your morning cleanse, swap it in with, you know, clinosies, what am I going to say? Hyperchloric acid, honestly, it's my number one. SPF in the winter. I wear SPF every day always because SPF is not just for the sun. It's not just for UV exposure. It's also environmental aggressors,

blue light. So keep working with your SPF. in the winter, and I typically will say, find an SPF that is your daytime moisturiser. Okay. So that's just the term one. Are you guilty, don't wear it? I know. I know.

I've seen your skin analysis. I know that you don't wear SPF every single day. But, you know, what are you going to do? Keeps me in business. You can just laser it off. It's fine. And then I think in the evening, that's probably where I would introduce something that's a little bit more

hydrating. Oh, I have the best dupe. So I love triple lipid restore from skin couticles. It's gorgeous for the winter. It actually increases the lipids in your skin naturally rather than just layering on an amolion. But Dr. Altea 147. It's a gorgeous dupe alternative. So it has a lot of ceramide enriching peptides in it. And it also helps to support your skin barrier. But it's literally like 20 pounds. Oh my God. How fantastic. But really, really good. dupe um because triple lipid restore is phenomenal phenomenal but it isn't the cheapest product um but you know like it is worth worthwhile investment but you can have the dr altea as a dupe i've done a lot of i've done a lot of work in like finding like direct dupes and correlations for things um and

that's one of them i would potentially kind of depends on your skin but i would probably slow down on the harsher exfoliants moving into more colder seasons so if you are using an exfoliant probably like drop it down to every other night yeah um i mean you know me i love the rosypoil i don't know why you're not on the rosypoil thing why don't you like it my skin's not that dry at the moment but it just i haven't put it under my makeup but it makes my skin look so glowing yeah i'll always do like two drops of rosypoil first and then put my makeup on top do you sell a roseop oil is it just any roseopole no 100% cold pressed organic rosypoil okay in a glass jar i'm assuming yeah exactly um okay but honestly it just makes your skin glow like it's and it's um has a natural form of

vitamin A, vitamin E, vitamin C, it's anti-microbial. So it's really, really good. And it's non-commodogenic. So even if you are a little bit more oily or prone to acne, it's really good. So what about silk pillows? You know me and you are actually, you and I are probably as bad as each other for this, because we love to send each other like weird contraptions. You're currently sleeping in like an elderly person's bed with like an incline bed for like geriatric. Like an elevator. Are you sleeping on it? No, I've ordered it, but it's coming.

I try and find an organic, like, organic one. Oh, of course. Because I didn't want to get one from Amazon as a lot. I have, like, this little, this little pillar that's, like, a little sea shape. And it kind of like... I've got one that's like, arm here. Yeah! And it, like, holds my head in place.

Because obviously, when you, like, lay on the pillow and you, like... It's what happens to me. That's what I don't want... So I have my little silk pillow in, like, a weird shape. And so it kind of just cradles, cradles the side of your head. So that you don't... Oh, maybe that's why I've got these... box. Maybe I need to wash it.

It's weird because they give you one pillowcase and it's a weird shape. And you can never buy it. You can't buy it. You can't buy that. You need to get made in a haberdastery. So anyone's called me habedashry? And you're like, have you got this pillow case? Going to Marks and expenses. It's like, the pillow's like,

it looks like a soft sculpture situation. Sorry, have you got a pillowcase that fits this? So weird. It's crazy. But yeah, I would sleep fully suspended if it meant that I wasn't going to get wrinkled. Also, I think sleeping slightly elevated. That's true.

Sleeping slightly elevated does help. It helps me. I'm the world's puffiest girl. She's the sweetest little puffer fish. She actually sends me a picture every morning of her face. And then if I go to bed, like on the odd night that I will have where I'll be out and I won't get home until one. I look different. Even my eyes look different.

And I'm like, that's so weird. Who goes out to 1 o'clock these days? All right. All right. But no, but seriously. Once in a while. Once in a while. I will.

break free from the almond girl but you didn't you never did you did taping at one point didn't you I tried to keep the puff down did work but it's just too much I don't have the I'm like I'm just embracing Sophie's been doing the tape consistently and she looks fricking phenomenal I know the taping is good

sorry just back to the nighttime skin care because I'm very aware the fact that you didn't even mention a cleanser I mean obviously we're cleansing so are we double cleansing thoughts on that double cleanse because if I I will like cleanse wash it off then I'll do it again And then with my flannel, I take it off, and there's still so much stuff.

And I'm like, oh, my God, didn't it come off the first time? I've never double cleansed. If I'm wearing heavy makeup, I guess maybe double cleanse. You don't need to double cleanse with two cleansers, though. But then I suppose it is nice. The same cleanser I'm just using twice. Yeah, exactly. Same cleanser twice. I don't, I'm not, I'm not against an oil cleanse to help take the makeup off.

Okay. But you want to make sure that you've given that a good rinse and you've taken it off. But that's what toners are really good for because what a toner will do is essentially it will reset your skin's pH balance. balance so that then if you're using active ingredients, they're going to penetrate better. So all active ingredients and to be honest, most skin cares, like most serums, for example, those, you know, when it says like, you know, 222% increase in hydroonic acid or whatever the marketing claims are, whatever the clinical claims, they will be based on skin that has a specific pH. So, like, so if your skin, you won't get the most out of those active products,

if your skin has an altered pH, essentially, like outside of a certain range. So using a toner, that's what a toner does. That's the role of a toner. People don't really know what toners do. No, I do. It feels nice. I actually don't use a toner. But then technically, Clinysuze can be your toner.

I was going to say that's what I do. Because that's going to reset your skin's pH. Yeah, fine. So yeah, so that's essentially what toning is, is prepping your skin so that it's the optimal pH for then your actives or your serums to go on to. I would also like to just say. People think that you can use a cheap cleanser because it's going down the drain and it won't ruin your skin.

I think so differently about that because I'm like, it is going on your skin and you can use ones that strip all your oils and stuff like that. You need to find a good one. You can definitely use one cleanser. But I also do think that cleanser is quite specific for people. Like, you can get away with like a setafil or a serri, like a really quite clean, like, you know, like basic cleanser. but if you are more oily, if you're more sebaceous,

then you will need to use something that has alpha hydroxyacid or beta hydroxyacid in. Is there things in skincare that you would say you should invest in more and then there's things that you can get away with, not cheapening out, but like there's no need to be spending a fortune on a certain, on a ton of, for example. I think it is very patient-dependent, it's person-dependent, right? Because if you have acnics, you know, if you have pigmentation, then you need to be focusing on treating that specific concern. But in general, I'm not a big believer in eye creams.

Honestly, I'm just yet to find an eye cream that I think is phenomenal. I use the Iray. The I ray one is good though, right? And then you know what, this lovely lymphatic brand that Earl introduced me to is gorgeous. It's really nice. It's really well formulated as well. Oh, but it's just so lovely. And they have these reusable eye patches.

I thought this is a lovely gift for somebody, yeah. And you reuse them and it says put a generous amount of the eye cream on and you put the eye patches on top. So I keep the eyepatches in the fridge. It's just such a nice ritual every morning and I like it. But you do it every morning? Yeah. Because you have been way less poffy recently.

I mean, there's only the last like five days. Okay. So. I have seen you quite a few times in the last five days. That's true. But it's just nice because I'm not throwing the eye patches away. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Doesn't feel as bad for the environment. And I don't know. It just feels like it's locking in and making that cream that's lymphatic cream. Do you leave it? You leave it. 20 minutes, 15 minutes. Take it off. Okay, so maybe I'll take it back.

Maybe that's the eye cream. But I just think... But I know you mean... There's not a real need for it. I haven't... I haven't personally used an eye cream that I'm like, wow, that's phenomenal. I mean, anything that has a bit of caffeine in is going to help to brighten. It's going to help to kind of vasoconstrict all the little vessels so it makes it look a little bit less blue.

Anything that's going to kind of, like, hydrate a little bit. fine. I use my general skincare up to my eye anyway. So I'm not a big believer in like spending a billion pounds on that. One thing I will say that is worth investing in is your antioxidant because there's certain products that if you're buying a cheap version, it's essentially a waste of time. So for example, it's about the formulation, the way that it's encapsulated or the delivery of an active product. So even if it says, you know, like a percentage of retinol, for example, If it's in a massive giant molecule that's not been encapsulated, then it can't penetrate anyway. So there are certain things that if you are looking for a really good antioxidant, so that's a really good vitamin C, then you want to be using a really well formulated vitamin C because the stability is impacted.

So as soon as it touches the oxygen, as soon as it's exposed to lie. So there's a lot of, there's a lot of kind of variables in terms of the formulation of products. So when you are looking at something like an antioxidant or indeed something like a retinal, you do want to make sure that you're using something that is, that's been well formulated. And it's the formulation that makes it expensive. It's the how they've encapsulated it and the delivery method. That's what makes it expensive. So the difference between the ordinary retinal and a retinal from ZO, for example,

the difference is how it's encapsulated and how it's delivered. and that's what you're paying for essentially because that's what is expensive. Is there ones or brands that you would recommend looking at to people that you know are good and that they work? I mean, I think the Medicaid retinal is a good one. I can't use it personally.

I'm not a retinal girly. Yeah, it just doesn't work for me and I'm just, I use azaleic acid, I'm just an azalec acid girly. That's me. Amidic acid gherly. I honestly, it's hard to say specifically. I don't think there's any one.

brand that's perfect for every person. Obviously, skin suiticles are the authority on antioxidant. So that's their C.E. Ferulic, Florotin, Cilomerin. Their three specific antioxidants that have been designed for just general anti-aging antioxidant, one four more oily skin for acneic skin and then one for pigmentation. Okay. They are on the higher price point, but the amount of clinical evidence that they have behind it's phenomenal. I love. I like the sound of this. So I feel like everyone should be using like a nice gentle cleanser. Yeah.

Yeah. And if you are more, if you are a bit more magnetic, then maybe something with a salicylic in, a little bit of exfoliation, um, clinosue for everybody. And then we go in with our amino acid. What was the thing you just? Active. With our active. Is that what you said?

Yeah. So an active will be something that's the vitamin. The vitamin. Oh, sorry. Antioxidant. Antioxidant. Yeah. Then we go in with our antioxidant.

And then we go in with your. Well, then you go in with your rose hip oil and then your SPA. Yeah. Lovely. That's what I do in the morning. But mine is cleansing, because she doesn't cleanse in the morning. Don't cleanse in the morning. I actually think the not cleansing in the morning is such a hack.

I used to get more spots and then I stopped cleansing in the morning and it's almost like my skin balanced out. Yeah. I think if you've got stripping off. If you have well balanced skin and your skin is well regulated, you don't need to. Obviously, if you are really oily, that's because your skin is not regulated well. Then yeah, you might have to. It's so interesting. I also think it's such a trial and error thing

and sometimes as I remember once you're saying if you've got really really bad skin like just strip it all back stop everything and just clean a suit and I was like that is a good piece of it. That's something that I go to quite a lot and then if someone's got very reactive skin and we can't figure out what it is

I will strip them back and do a skin fast and then one by one by a skin fast and then one by one start introducing products carefully so that we can identify which one if it's one of the products is triggering an inflammation or a reaction so that's kind of typically how I'll do it and I honestly don't like to go in and be like right

here's your 12 step skincare routine because if you do have a reaction we don't know which one it is and honestly I mean I am quite low maintenance with my skincare I think that's why your skin's so good because I do I do do regular treatments I do treatments to the point that I had to open the clinic because it's the only way it was going to I could maintain my my um my my my skincare hacks was literally to open a clinic so I do I confess I do quite regular treatments but that's the

whole point is that I've used injectable skin booster so my skin is full of heart chronic acid you're doing it all quite internally when it's amino acids my skin has everything it needs I'm feeding my skin so that it has what it needs so that I can wake up in the morning and my skin looks really good. These amazing facelifts obviously circling the internet you know for a good reason

they look fucking amazing but also it's like I don't know Is it scary because they look so young but also like they are saying that they've had it so what's going to do? I feel like people have been having facelifts and it's literally just that now people are being a bit more candid about it

or they look better yeah normally it's like oh my god they've had a face stuff they look awful like that they're like that's it thingy that here, what's this hair, what's, sideburns behind their ears. That people are, yeah, people are actually having really good work, which is why.

Facelifts these days. I do, but I do, but you know, like a good facelift in, I mean, even in the UK now, it's like over 100 grand. It's like, oh, four hundred grand. Babe! Shut! I swear to God. I swear to God.

Dominic Bray in the UK is like one of the top. He's phenomenal. He's very spending. Like, we need to start saving now. If we think we're going to get faceless, we need to start saving out. My own. only thing is genuinely, I know I'm going to sound like a real dweeb, but like I cannot stand

my pet peeve is doctors, not just doctors, aesthetic, cosmetic medical practitioners on the internet with a picture of a celebrity behind them going, okay, so she's hands. I hate it. Do you know what I think that the celebrity should start doing? They should start like, you know the culprits, the ones that do it all the time? Like, they should get their picture up and be like, so this man, this bolding middle age surgeon could do with a hair transplant and a blood plastic. Do they say what they should do or what they think they've had done? What they think they've had. I just, I don't like it, but. I also feel like so many of it, so much of it's so not true. It's like, it's like Margo Robbie, facelift, nose job. I'm like,

no, she hasn't. No, there was one the other day with like, it was Sabrina Carpenter and it's like, she was 12 on the first picture. It's so weird. And it's like she's definitely had a nose job. I'm like, no, she's just wearing makeup, hun. It's so strange. How they are convinced that there's so many surgeries. I mean, it is good that people are being more open. Sure. But I do, I think that it is problematic for, it is problematic for 30-year-olds to be getting face-lifts, right? Sometimes I think, oh my God, am I perpetuating this.

I probably am. But also, I think it's good to be in a position where you can safeguard people. the amount of times you've come to me and I've been like, no. Oh my God, do you say no about everything? It's so annoying. But I don't just say no. I'll say no and I'll educate you as to why or I'll educate you as to why you're having this problem so that you understand it from a more anatomical perspective so that you're not looking in the mirror thinking,

there is something wrong with me or this isn't right. You then understand where it's coming from and what's happening. And there are things that you can improve, yes, but it's not about changing everything about us. and I do think it's part of the problem that we can just walk in anywhere with no psychological screening and just literally walk in.

If I wanted to, I could go and get a facelift tomorrow. I know. Someone somewhere will give me one. We'll do it. That is the thing about like these people saying, oh, Kylie Jenner's had a facelift or a mid-face lift or a brow lift or whatever. And do you remember then everyone started getting those threads? Yeah.

Like to make them have a fox lift. And it was so tight. And now I saw one yesterday. on TikTok, she was like, I regret my fox lift. And she had these, like, things that were sticking, like, fibrosis. Like a huge, like, lump here, all the way out. Where I think it had created scar tissue

where the thread is. But it's inside her head. There's no way of taking it out. Then you will get a face of, because I should have it surgically removed? Yeah, she was like, it's surgically removed. And that's like a big deal, and I can't afford it. And it was so awful. And I was like, and she said it's so painful. Oh, no. I just thought, but that would have been so easy to get. And because it was like a trend of like,

Kendall Jenner and Bella had eat, have had a foxler eye. They're like, oh, brilliant. The woman down the road does it. I don't know. I think that there needs to be. I think that there are, there's hopefully people working on it at the moment as well. And I've kind of written something that I've started working on about like almost like a framework of essentially should we treat this patient.

Thinking about what the treatment is, the long term impact. How reversible is that treatment? How suitable is this person for that treatment? will it, essentially like what are the odds of the outcome being good, what are the odds of the outcome being bad? And then like kind of working through this framework that allows us to identify whether we should treat people or not. And it's, it's impossible because it's clinical judgment. But the sad thing is that there's a lot of practitioners, non-medical and medical, who are putting the commercial needs first and not using good clinical judgment. So every

treatment really should be, you know, with a folder of images that's like, this is what could go wrong. 100% and also what I will say to girlies that are thinking about getting stuff done if you're not going to go to L, research, risks, and then type in like whatever it is you're planning on getting gone wrong into TikTok, understand everything. Any practitioner that gets annoyed by that, like, you know, there is a lot of misinformation out there. But ultimately, I want to see that you have done your own research and if you come to me

with an idea or if you come to me with a question or I've seen. this. If it's not correct, I will be able to re-educate you on what is right. But I think that you should come in armed with knowledge and you shouldn't trust that just because you're going to a medical practitioner or you're going to the best clinic or you're going to the most expensive clinic, you shouldn't just take that as gospel, you know, as gospel that this is the right thing for you. Yeah. Okay, right, Dalama One. Hi, Lovelies. Please help me with my situation.

I'm in my final year at university and I've been doing this Friends with Benefits with a guy in my friendship group, literally since the first months we started at uni. No one else in our friendship group knows about our situation and we always have been very clear with each other, it's just sex. There's never been any feelings and it's been great just having a small thing on the side whilst we both focus on uni. However, it's got to the point now where he's fed up with sneaking around and pretending nothing's going on. He says he doesn't want a relationship.

He just wants to be open with the fact that we are friends with benefits. I don't know what to do because I'm not sure I want people to know about us. I'll be honest, I love the secrecy of our situation. I'm also worried that telling people, well, we're in the dynamic of our friendship group, especially as it's the final year. Have you been doing this since the first year of uni? So it's two years in? No, no, no, my final year. Wait, her fine, so she's been, yeah, two years.

Literally since the first month we started at uni. But like, how could you have you been having, this is phenomenal. I have to say kudos to you for not cashing feelings because I literally, no. I'm also worried that telling people, well, we're in the dynamic of our friendship group, especially as it's the final year and we want to have a good time whilst we are all in the same city as a group. But I'm not sure if this is just an excuse for me to hide my feeling. Oh wait, so she does have feelings. What should I do?

Well, so wait, he said he doesn't want to tell him. people or she doesn't want to tell people. He wants to tell people. He wants it to be out on the open. He loves you. But she also gets a little kink out of it being secret. I think that yeah, I get that. There's something a bit more like naughty. Also one thing I would say is I'm not being funny but your pals probably know. I'm like if you're living with your friends like how is you getting in the door? There's no way you guys have been having sex for two years and not one single one of your mutual friends know. Also how have you not like told your bestest gal? Yeah that's mental. That me and Martin, you know, upstairs, bongy.

I just don't get how you have a... Are they living in the same hat? That's what I'm thinking, that you do, don't you? Everyone shares a house. So how is he getting in the door? I'm really confused for you. Because I don't understand how you can possibly be seeing someone for two years without having any feelings.

Because also then it's like, are you dating other people? Is he dating other people? Does that mean you guys have just remained single this whole? It's like this unwritten rule that... I think they're going to fall in love. Am I sure you already have? I think I'm fascinated. I think they're going to fall in love, and I think it's going to be a real funny thing

because everyone's going to be like, we thought no one knew about us. It's going to be a moniker and Chandler situation. Yeah, Monica and Chandler's situation. I feel like he's made the first move by being that I want people to know. And if you should just be honest about your feelings to yourself, like really look at yourself and be like, how would I feel if he got with somebody else? How would I feel if this relationship actually could be really great? I feel like you're being quite negative at the thought of people knowing, like, can we be a bit more positive and imagine it being or working out and you guys getting. married and having loads of babies, you know?

Let's fantasise the relationship in a positive way a bit more. I think you've got used to it maybe being so secret that... Also, don't you think sometimes, I guess if you're in a big friendship group, there's something quite comforting about having something that's yours and that like, as soon as other people do know, there'll be people asking questions like us, like, first of all, how, you're not in love with them? Second of all, or you're not dating other people. So maybe it's that like not having the eyes and not having the critique.

that actually feels quite comforting and knowing that that is yours and it's something that you're in control of. Yes, I also fear that when you tell people, if you tell people, they will be like, oh my God, yeah, but he like, what, when he was sleeping with such and such a year ago? I've been sleeping with him secretly as well.

Oh, my God. But he's the one who wants it to come out. So I feel like if, I don't think we should be afraid. Hopefully your friends will be like quite welcoming to this news. Or maybe he, maybe this is his way of taking it. to a next step. Yeah, I think he wants to. But you love the secrecy. You've written in capital

letters. She loves it. She loves the secrecy. So she's just going to have to find somewhere else to get her kinks when they all know, when they all, when everyone knows. I mean, you clearly do have feelings for it. She definitely has feelings. Like, you wouldn't write that down because you'd be like, I don't have feelings. I don't want to make it like public. Like, do you know what I mean? Whereas last year of uni, very stressful. Lots of work needs to be done. Maybe it's not the time for it to come out the last year of uni. Let's just get those exams. done. Is it exams?

Yeah, I don't know. Depends what she's studying, I suppose. But she could be at, like, medical school and it could be another, like, two and a half three years. No, she's the final year. And they're all in the same city. I, if it was me... I need more deeds.

If it was me, I'd pick myself and those shoes. If it was me, I'd be in, I'd be in, I'd be in, over, head over heels and love. And I wouldn't... I would leap at the chance of everyone, knowing. I'd have already told everyone, actually, I'm not going to lie. I would literally, like, I would have literally have told, I'd have come on a podcast and I'm told it everyone. You did?

What are you going to do? I think just try, lean into it a bit more. But also, what you could do is just say to your friends, like, oh my God, like, we actually slept together a few times and I've never mentioned it because I didn't think I needed to, but like, I can't of fancy him now. Play it down if you're afraid of, like, judgment. Yeah. And then...

I honestly, I honestly think all your pals know. I'm really excited for you. I think all everyone knows already. You're going to also have this new lease because you've probably never, you've never been able to date. So now you can go out on a date with him. And it might, yeah, it might even be like a good change up. I'm excited. Please tell us what happens and how you tell the friendship group. Must know, I need more detail. I also feel like you could just tell like a few girlies now and be like, look, I've been sleeping with him for a bit. How have you not told your friends? I don't believe

you've not told a single person. I don't believe it. How? I would, I also, as you said, I don't believe they don't already know. I think you need to tell a few people. You don't have to obviously do an announcement. Also, if he really wants to tell people, let him. But love you so much, please tell us what happens. I'm really keen to know how you go about this. I'd like to know. Okay, dilemma too. Hey girls. I wanted to write in as I've recently had a horrific and confusing experience with a man, but also especially wanted to get your take on it, Melissa, as he told me that he went on a few dates with you a few years ago. Right, listen, lovely Helen's just briefed us. I have not dated this guy. I've never seen him before in my life. And I honestly thought

maybe... No mutual. Nothing. Nothing. We've done a deep dive. We can't even message him on Instagram. There's nothing. But wait, listen to what he did. So we matched on a dating app about a year ago when he was living in London and chatted casually at that time. Fast forward to about three months ago and we're back in touch. He's living back in Belfast and we start chatting much more intensely. Before you know it, we're voice noting every day, face-timing and sharing the day-to-day details of our lives. He seemed like the perfect guy, attentive, caring, funny and really into me. It's a fucking liar. About a month ago, he booked flights over to London to come and stay with me for the weekend, and there's a lot of chat about plans for the weekend, plans for

the future and how excited we both are to see each other. Literally feels like we're in a long distance relationship. The weekend comes around and at 4.30pm on the Friday, he texts me to say that he's not coming and then immediately blocks me. The text itself read this. you, sorry to have to do this, it's totally unfair on you, but I'm going to have to check out. Rightly or not, I built it up in my head as just a weekend of fun and without any clear idea of how it would continue. Maybe that's stupid of me, but I think it's best if we actually just leave it. It's nothing against you. I think you're amazing. I wish you all the best. Kiss, kiss. Honestly, what the hell? I've been left feeling so confused of her and annoyed

that I've wasted months of my life on this man. Most of all, I really want to call him out to make sure he doesn't do this to anyone else. Is there a way to do this, do you think? Okay. Helen's looking at me like, do not fucking say this guy's name. Okay, we can't call him out. But listen, there is a page on Facebook called, are we dating the same guy London? Are we dating the same guy? Yeah, right. Put it on there. Put it on the girl's group chat. Forward it around. Warning, do not date this man. Also, I'd love to know what dating app it was. This guy is a compulsive liar. First of see, we did not date. I've looked. I've, I've, never seen him before in my entire life.

I mean, it's very, very strange that he's saying that to start with. That's weird. But what he's done to you is just like, he's just fucking led you on. But what I will say is don't feel like you've wasted your three months. Because like it's just, it's just going to go down in the rule book as experience. Yep. But I feel like in the grand scheme of being like not fucked over, but you know what I mean, like led on a little bit.

Like this is so fine. Also, it's like you, you know, you're not in the same city anyway. It wasn't going to work. It wasn't going to work anyway. I hate to say it. And this is one of the reasons why when I was dating, I would have like a max time out on a conversation. Like if we're talking for more than a certain amount of time

and we've not planned a date and I've not met you in real life, it's done. Yeah. Because otherwise you're just good talking for, talking, talking, talking, for everyone ever. And that's it. It's like, okay, what is this? But some people do fall in love over the phone. No, no, no, no. It's giving Tinder Swindler.

I can't curve. You're kind of right. It's quite scary. Well, this experience is not giving a good example of people falling off over the phone. I will say that. And it's not, the thing is as well, it's not about, I always think this now I'm terrified. But, you know, it's never about you. All of the experiences and the negative experience that I've had with men and people that I've dated and the feelings of rejection, the haunting feelings of rejection, you really do realize this was not about you.

This is them. Mm-hmm. This is a them thing. So he will be doing this. This might make you feel worse. But he was probably also doing the same thing to other girls at the same time. So he's just one of those people that, you know, have issues and is an asshole. I know you feel angry and you want to like out him because I get that feeling too.

I also can't believe he told her that he went on a few dates with you. Not even like that's such a random thing. You know what? I honestly looked his photo and I was like, have I? Because like why would he say? You always can't believe that people would lie that much because I'm like, Why would he say that if I haven't? I wonder if he went into detail about the dates and stuff.

I've never met him before in my entire life. FaceTiming as well, because it's like he's definitely a real person. He's love bombing you, babe. And like, you will get over this so quick, because it was only three months. I mean, because you never met him. You won't have that. Yeah. From a, this is a very personal thing.

I would love to know more information about what he said about me. Yeah, she's like, tell me everything. And the dates that we went on and where we went and where he took me. Because, you know, this fantasy life that I had, and I'd quite like to know. So please tell me, reply to the DMs on Wednesdays, because I need to know. And secondly, it's going to be fine. Tell me when you're dating someone new and you're dating someone in London. We're going on sexy dinners and, you know, fun dinners and drinks.

Gorgeous. Okay, well, please tell us what happens. Sending you so much love. That was the end. Oh my God, that was so much fun. I felt less nervous but being a host. Thank you guys for listening. Love you saying that.

Thank you. That's it for this week, Wednesdays, but God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast. ad free with bonus episodes is pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love

and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our instabio