Wednesdays - 117. Christmas Special: What You Should ACTUALLY Get Your Boyfriend for Christmas ft Toby Watkins

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

Heyyy Tinies! It’s CHRISTMAAAAS! Melissa’s boyfriend Toby (aka Rick) is BACK in the hot seat and we cover all sorts…Melissa and Toby confess they accidentally forgot their four year anniversary, Toby finally clears up what actually went down in the Ring doorbell fiasco, and he gives the essential, need-to-know tea on the age old question: what should you actually buy a guy for Christmas?The two of them also dive into Message Etiquette, decoding what different texts from guys really mean. Spoiler: if he sends “haha” vs “hahaha”… it matters.In this week’s dilemmas, one Tiny sends in our GROSSEST dilemma yet - her boyfriend doesn’t…wash?! Another Tiny needs to know whether to pursue her hometown Christmas fling or leave him in the festive past. What should she do?!Enjoy the episode xGot a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail]--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Producer: Helen BurkeAssistant Producer: Issy Weeks-HankinsVideo: Lizzie McCarthy & Jake JiSocial: Anthony Barter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, this week we talk all about our Christmas plans. It's a little Christmas episode and we have Toby joining us. Hello. A little Christmas special. We're here to clear up those ring doorbell. Spill the tea. And we've bought some really juicy dilemmas. Enjoy the episode. Hello. Happy Christmas. Merry Christmas. From Rick and Brick. There we go. I'm only pulled in for special occasions. Christmas, Halloween, birthdays. That's it. For those who don't know, this is my boyfriend, but we do call him Rick. That's just for fun. I don't even know how that nickname came about.

And I'm also Rick. I know how it came about. Rick Dalton. Rick Dalton. When I had my long hair, I used to slick it back after a shower and pretend I was Rick Dalton. Yeah,

we had some fun roleplay with that, I don't we? And here we are. Now we're both Rick. Just to start the episode off, obviously it's the week before Christmas, so we have some nice tinsle everywhere. I'm feeling festive.

The tree is up. We had fun decorating that tree, didn't we? pies were bought back in November. Yeah, I was premature with the mince pies, guys. No, actually, I think October. I think pre-Hlloween. It was pre-Hlloween. I bought mince pies. I was doing my weekly food shop from Riverford, and they came up, and I was like, ooh, don't mind if I do. She went early on the mined pies, but you know what? I'm not against it. So, just to update you guys, we forgot yesterday was our four-year anniversary.

Was that yesterday? I don't mind that. My calendar and I was like on the phone to my friend of mine this morning, and I was like, yeah, yeah, for our anniversary. Shit. Oh my God, that's actually not. That's so bad. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary.

That's a good sign. I think that's, you know, life's going swimmingly when you forget your anniversaries. We should probably put it in our diaries and put an alert on maybe a week before. We have two anniversaries because we had a... Yeah, that's true. But you don't let me celebrate the rekindling anymore. No, the rekindling now is a bit more like trauma.

So we... Don't celebrate that anymore. No, that one's done. But yeah. But yeah, the actual official one, that's really bad from both of us. But we are going to the Cotswards this weekend. That's true. But still, we should probably...

celebrate it on the day. Next year. Even just, yeah, we've gone. Actually, should we also talk about the fact that we're now coming up to another anniversary of us living together, which is quite sad. That's also been in Gwanhan. No, it hasn't. February.

Angel, you moved in in November. I'm not officially. You're like moving in in February. I was like, you haven't spent one night of your flight in the last three months. Yeah, that's true. I didn't spend one single night. But February was the official moving. It was.

Do you remember the date? On the deeds. February the 1st But I mean as you said I was already in there So it doesn't really care We came back from holiday And I didn't leave

But why didn't we ever go back To your place in November That's what I want to know Just because It's cozy It was good in Phyllum There was probably a tube strike Probably couldn't get home

I loved it That was my favourite My favourite stage of dating At the beginning At the stage of staying Like for a couple days at a time But then going back And then there was a tube strike

So I had no option But to just I got to stay here I can't get home It was also one of those times Where it was like You don't want to stay the longer than two nights because you're very much so overstaying. You're welcome.

Probably need the loo. Probably haven't been to do the loo in a few days. Guys, that is one of the biggest nightmares of a new dating situation. We're past that now. Thank God. I wouldn't be nipping down the road. Oh, God. But yeah, right at the beginning, you've been there overnight.

You've had a few drinks. Oh, it's honestly quite, it's quite annoying. That's why you don't do more than two nights. No. In the early stages. It's a one night. You were living in the power station, so there was... Oh, loads of looes around for you.

A load of coffee shops. Oh, guys, it was so good. Probably don't ever want to see me. I'm banned from back sheep out. They see you coming in the back sheet. In the power station. Fucking how not this guy. Oh my God.

But yeah, that is honestly one of the causes of early stages of dating, anxiety. Oh, God, it's hell. I used to nip down to the concierge. Brilliant. I've got a pass-up, concierge, got to go down. It was unreal. And I'd be like, yeah, I was stuck talking to leave for ages. That's genius.

I know. It's all coming out now. And my sister also lived below. me, I used to nip down there every now and then as well. I was so good. Once she had like a summon she'd been on for three days there and I had to introduce myself. I've never told you to this story. This is unreal.

I was like Jess, I'm really sorry. This is an absolute emergency. Call 999. I need to use the day. Oh my God. But yeah, so we're nearly a year into living together now. So highs and lows, picks and peek. Oh my God.

I thought you were going to give me a gift. I thought it was going to be like, and so here is an anniversary present. No. Okay, Peaks, there's no more commuting, which is fantastic. Nice. Don't have to go home with my trekkies and my cowboy boots because that was hellish. Oh yeah, that was not. Also planning, like the logistics of planning to get home from a night out was so annoying.

If I had something the next day, I'd have to take an overnight bag out with me for dinner with the girls to then go to yours and come to the podcast the next day, that kind of thing. I used to get taxis back and forth and then realized I was spending all my money on taxis. And then she discovered the bus. Then I discovered the bus. It was revolutionary. Told all of her pals as if it was like a new thing. Guys, have you guys ever used the bus?

You've heard of this thing called the bus in London. They're like red and quite big. Good times. I love the bus. Good times. But yeah, so, okay, less have been involved. And then obviously, Pete is like the fun routines that you have. Like the morning routines on a weekend.

That's always fun. Yeah, it is real nice. Knowing that I'm going to come home and you're just going to be there mincing about. It's always mincing, none stop. Just always sort of, hi, Rick. Just fiddling with something, doing something. Yeah, there's a lot of pros. You're very easy to live with.

I think we're quite good at being a team, you know? Yeah. If you've done dinner, I'll do the washing up. Oh, which is so good. I hate washing up. No. No, you don't. You just put things in the dishwasher.

You won't actually wash. I won't wash up if there's a big pan. That'll stay in the sink. It needs to be soaked overnight. And also, you never do the surfaces. I thought we're talking about peaks. Anyway, sorry. Poxake.

Yeah, I think just being able to like, yeah, weekend routine, always having each other there, which is lovely, coming home. Always knowing you can have like a debrief from the day. You don't have to think about organising to see each other. Which I think actually means that you maybe don't make as many plans like for date night, etc. But you just have a more chilled out routine, which is more like settling. Good for the nervous system. Good for the nervous system.

We're all about the nervous system. We are in our household. And one more peak is you are very funny and you always make me laugh. Oh, that's good. You make me laugh. Anyway, onto the pits. The little bit of bog roll that you leave on top of the loo. You were, that makes it sound, no, guys, I haven't used it.

Okay, no, no, she'll use it to, like, even if, what do you use it for? It's like, if I've washed my face, I'd like to get some loo roll and just, like, blow my nose a little bit to make sure that that's all clean. And then she doesn't put it in the loo. She was on top of the Lucy, which I'd argue is worse than leaving the Lucy out. Listen, I don't want to touch germs in my skincare routine, okay, and my facial routine at night. So, I don't want to touch the Lucy and put it in the Lucy, because I love the Lucy always being down. So I'm like, I'll leave it there on the top of the loo. until I finish doing all my creams

then I'll do it then I'll wash my hands and I put my hand cream on more often than not I might forget put it in and lift up so then in the morning there's like three little like

It's just a collection of little tiny sweet bits of loo roll just left on top of the loo The fact of you got a bug roll makes it sound like I've like gone to the loo and like wipe my ass and left all the Lou roll

on top of the loose seat God's saying that is actually quite sweet to say I just know you've been there because there's just a little bit of loo roll on top of the loo seat like a little crumb one thing I'd also

I've been on the tip tip of my tongue to talk about. So I'm here for the first time to say my piece on ring doorbell gate. Oh yeah. Okay? Because I had a lot of comments, people thinking, oh, it's quite toxic. Oh my God, people are so many red flags. Everyone must think I'm the biggest wronging. Yeah, and I'm not. So for you lovely listeners that may remember the ring doorbell ordeal, Toby was having some fun in the pub while Sofa and I were actually away on a hen. I do. All right. Not on a pub though. And I obviously went back to check the ring doorbell footage when I woke up in the morning

to see what Toby's been up to the night before. And the last thing that comes up straight away was Toby taking out the battery. And there was like four boys behind you and three girls. And I know they were all girlfriends of the boys that were there. But still, Toby's been in my house for like three weeks, moved in. No, three months, four months. He's been there a while. Hey, you said I moved in in November.

All right. Yeah, I realised then the moment it came out my mouth, backtrack. Anyway, that was obviously really annoying. I was like, I'm Rick. Where's the ring dollob been taken out? And that was a whole or day. And then you put it back in. The next day, there was a funny clip of you, you know, with the dressing gown on the pink Heddy, the Hoover, trying to cover your tracks or whatever.

So this all obviously got clipped up from the pod, went out into the World Wide Web. The World Wide Web. And everyone thought I was, and look, I can understand some people. Oh, my God. It's so red flaggy. People think. I am horrific. I thought I was horrific.

Good. So tell us what happened then. So we went to a pub and the pub closed at midnight. Which pub? It was a boundary. Supposedly very trendy, the boundary. So I had some of my friends and some of my friends' friends with us and I, you know, had a spring of my step. Got a new gaff.

Got a new gaff. Should I come back and see the gaff? Or the missus is away. Take the ring doorbell up. She won't know. Anyway, yeah, so I was like, right, let's have people back. We'll have a house party. Everyone was like, are you sure, it's a good idea.

I was like, yeah, it'll be fine. love it how people actually tried to say, are you sure it's a good idea? And you went, yeah. I've got responsible friends. And we get back. There was two cab loads of people. Not Uber Excels. Couldn't get the Excel. So we had to get in two different ones. But the other people coming back were, I knew we were going to ring the doorbell. And then if anyone was ordering us at that, to get to use. Also, just to like give you some credit, I had said I was going to bed. Yeah, we went to bed at like 10. And my phone, every time the ring doorbell rings, it goes, Yeah, you get the full on alert.

I get the notification, which I quite like. Anyway. I was like, I don't want to wake you up with the ring doorbell. Slash also like, I would have told you in the morning, obviously, but I just... Hide the evidence. Yeah, right. It's sounding really good, Rick. So I went up to the ring doorbell, and in my mind I was like, this is going to be the most stealthy operation ever.

I'm just going to sort of saunter in, battery out. And in the morning, I took the battery out for you because obviously people are coming back and I didn't want to wake you up. And I wouldn't even know. I would have known that there was a battery being taken out. But you wouldn't have like, the footage of me taking it out, wouldn't have been there, yeah, yeah. So I came up, in my mind, I was like James Bond, kind of saunter, pearl, great. And instead it's just me going, he can't, he can't get the battery out. I'm like trying to get the battery out.

It takes so long. And it's like recording the whole thing. And obviously it's like curved. So I look like Francis Bourgeois. Oh, yeah, with the camera. I'm trying to take this battery up. It's so funny. And then my friends are just like yapping away in the background.

Oh, God. And then the next day, like, putting it back in, the reason I look so startled in that video is because you put it back in and there's like a 10 minute delay. I think it's like three minute, yeah. Where it then rings for the first time. It reconnects the Wi-Fi and then it will do an automatic ring. And I was like just hoovering up the floor, making sure the house was all looking neat and tidy. And it came back online. So I looked out obviously really startled.

And then I realized that it was the ringed doorbell ringing itself and knew that you would be looking at the footage. So that's why I went, hello, to the ring doorbell. And now it looks like I was talking to myself, and that I'd lost my bubble. Did a little bit. Sophie was so pretty tall. Is he okay? She was like, that's not right. She was like, that's made me feel really weird.

And I fully like, then panicked, cover lied for him. It was like, my brother's at home. He's talking to my brother. And he wasn't. Anyway, so I haven't lost the plot. And my house party was a silly mistake. I've got a white sofa and white carpet. It was a disrespectful thing to do, and I apologize about that.

Oh, you've heard it here. There you go, Tiny's. He wasn't cheating on me, I promise. I swear on my entire family's life. But the taking out of the battery does look so shady. Yeah, the whole thing, and you look back at it out of context. But I think also we know each other's character that, like, obviously, maybe in another relationship, that would be a bit of a red flag, but obviously.

There was, like, so many people that I knew in the ring door belt. Like, it's just like, it wasn't shady. I was just like, fuck sake, like having a party and I'm not there. It's just naughty. Yeah, it was just a bit disrespectful. Yes. That's what it was. Anyway.

Anyway. Anyway. No more house parties. New Year, new me. New year, knew me. So what your Christmas Day plans? So Christmas this year is going to be... Talk me through the whole plan of Christmas, like the start.

So 19th we've got our friends' Christmas dinner, which would be a lot of fun. We're doing Secret Santa and all of those fun things. We do it every year with all my school friends and it's so fun. We're going to go to one house and we're going to do like black tie this year, I think, which is going to be mega. Well, maybe not black tie, but we're going to really dress up. Okay. Anyway, so yeah, we've got that and then the 20th, we're going back to my parents' house. Sort of a pre-Christmas Christmas dinner.

Yeah, it's a little pre-Christmas. my brother and his wife and two kids will be there. Oh, so fun with the Bambino's being there. My oldest brother and his family will be there. Then we go to your family for a pre-Christmas dinner. Mm-hmm. And then after that, I'd drive to Val Dazern and that's it for me. I have Christmas and have out. She's gone. So now I'm by myself with the family, which is actually quite nice. I feel like, you know what? It's like, we spend a lot of time together. It's nice at Christmas time to... All right. Fuck it out. Okay, sorry, I tell you about it. You're my podcast.

No, but I think it's nice that we have a bit of time, like, with each other's families and then also with our families by ourselves. Yes. I do think splitting up Christmas, we always have this conversation. I couldn't bear to not do it with my family and you're the same. It's a really hard thing and then it breaks the parents' hearts when it finally happens. I also feel like actually you don't need to do it until you have children. Yeah.

There's no need to you're married. But there's no real need when you're married. Like it's still like we can do a day apart. Yeah. I got my secret son to the other day. Oh, yeah. So my family do. We brought this in a couple.

years ago, and I actually think it's such a good Christmas tradition, where instead of buying everyone presents, you get a name out of a hat and you just put like 100 quid or 150 quid towards one person. It's a secret Santa situation. Yeah, secret. It's not like it's heartbreaking. Anyway, did anyone heard of Secret Santa? It's really complex. Yeah, it's a very good idea. I feel like my family might try and adopt that this year as well. Yeah, it's a good little, it's a good tradition. So that's what we'll be doing. And then a boxing day, I'll fly out to you. Yeah. And then I'll be out. out in the Alps.

And then that's it for New Year's Eve, New Year's Eve in the snow, on the slip. And then we do the first week just chilling out there because nothing happens first week of jam in our spheres. So that's kind of the Christmas plan. Which is all quite exciting. Christmas movies, tradition. I don't really have one, if I'm honest.

We always will watch a James Bond, which is quite rogue, but I don't know if that's also quite normal. James Bond's good. Batman as well. I don't think that would go down very well with my parents, Batman. James Bond's a bit more traditional. Yeah, fair enough. You know, we'll get a Sean Connery on,

mom will be thrilled, that sort of vibe. Edwin will be playing with his new Christmas dolly, whatever he's got. He'd be reading a war book. Yeah, he would have a book for Christmas, and then that'll be him between the whole period. It's the thing with my dad, not to out of him, but we have this rule. We're not allowed to give my dad a Christmas,

a book for Christmas because he then just reads the fucking book and doesn't look at any, any attention all day, and it drives me and my mum mad. And then there's always a minor, like, family fight. So there's a rule. With dad at Christmas clearing up. wrapping paper the minute any present has been unwrapped they have to or also every time acting surprised their mum will buy your Christmas present dad's how fuck's that come from oh it's so true

that wasn't in the budget every time is that from us niki hell jilly and then my dad always is lucky girl so funny they always act surprised and they're always tidying out wrapping paper and for my dad it fully is a surprise and then sleeping I had a dream last night that Christmas day no presents it was the best Christmas ever I know that sounds really weird but it was like it took away that weird like lull stage of like watching everyone like open gifts what's the worst gift you've been given i don't think i've ever really had a bad christmas a christmas gift santa's nailed it every year i got a hamster one year that's amazing i would have killed for a hamster i was so excited that was one of my stockings that like so i got all the

was in the stocking it wasn't in the stocking it was so i came down this is when i was like six or seven Christmas was at his peak. Dad would do the whole, he would like half eat a mince pie. He would leave like little bits of mince pie residue around the whiskey glass. And then he would put so up from the fireplace on the carrots. And I fully, fully believed it. Of course you did. I could feel his present.

Father Christmas has been. It was magical. And I had my stocking. Your brother's like having to go along with it too. So I had like a hoop, like a little, like a wheel. Yeah. And then I had like the little water feeder. Oh my God.

The little like ball in it. The little metal thing. Yeah. And then I was like, oh my God, I'm obviously getting a hamster. Shit. I know. And then that evening, a hamster arrived that had been living in my dad's office, like to my dad's offices off the house.

So he'd kept it in the cage there. My brothers were all in on it, so they could go and play the hamster. And apparently he was so energetic, so happy, swinging off the bars. I got him, had him for two nights, and he died. He died of wettail, which is like hamster pneumonia, apparently. And I had, anyway, so he took him to pets to home, and I got a refund. And we got, sorry, not a refund, I got a exchange. So we got another one.

So the first one was called Hammie. Thank God for that custom service. And then the second one was Hammie the second. And then he passed away as well. Really? Because no one told me that you have, basically they got the same disease because the cage wasn't cleaned properly. But they didn't tell me that.

So we didn't clean the cage. The second one got the second disease. Oh, I'm not fucking clean the cage. So then we got the third one. He was called George because I don't want to go down the hammy route again because the same thing might happen. So then George, and then George lived for like a couple, maybe like a year in a bit. And then he sadly. It's quite good going for a hamster.

They're in the garden somewhere at home, like just in a... Hand me the first, second. Yeah, Hammy the first and the second. We're in a loo roll holder. Oh, yeah, classic. Yeah. And then like, I think like a tea towel and then some flowers. Was there a full sorry.

God rest their souls. So yeah, that was, but it was still a really good Christmas, but the in between Christmas and New Year was quite traumatic. Oh, I bet bless you. I bet you were so upset. Also, was Father Christmas the one who got you the hamster? No, that was in the stage where Father Christmas would bring you presents and then mum and dad would as well.

That was a good stage. That doesn't happen anymore. No, the double whammy. Yeah. Sometimes I'll still get Santa getting me gifts. It's great. Chris and my house is pretty good. They're always like the knick-nacky ones.

Like it's a hot water bottle cover. It's like fun things like that. Oh yeah, nice. New socks and boxes. Stocking filler vibes. You know what? New socks and boxes now I'm older. Love them.

Oh, such an underrated gift. Also, can I just tell you guys? I know this is maybe a bit lakes for the week before Christmas, but for the last minute presents. A skim's dressing gown. 10-10 for a present. So what would you do present-wise if you're in a new relationship? So for newly dating people, a nice one for guys to give girls because it doesn't come off too strong. It's flowers. Christmas flowers?

I'm going to go with no. Fine. Don't do Christmas flowers. You're so sweet, though. They're still nice, but no. What would be nice to receive? Early stages. Not going to cringe you out.

You like us. You're not getting the ick. An after shave could go one or two. ways because there's not much after shave could have gone yeah but then it's like quite personal scent that early on i would love to receive as a girl a hot water bottle a cashmick hot water bottle cover i feel like can't go amiss and you can be like i'll keep this at my house for you this is the that's a really nice gift to give because girlie's always cold in the winter months yeah um what about an experience that's always a good thing tickets to something oh yeah oh

Tickets. But don't make it too fine advanced because that's very presumptuous. Yeah. I also think, take a girl to the ballet. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's cool. Such a wonderful. But that's almost like a year-in thing, right?

That's quite a big... Is it? Ballet's not cheap. Have you ever taken me to the ballet? Do you know how much it is to go to the ballet? No, I've looked into tickets. Have you? She's not worth it.

It's quite quickly, I'm joking. I, no, I have actually, I think... Mm-hmm. Okay, we're going to play a fun game called message etiquette, green or red flag. So basically, a lot of girls will think that these messages are maybe something that they're not. So number one, a full stop at the end of a message, is this okay, or is he being called slash pissed off? I would do that if I was pissed off.

I would not use punctuation unless I'm excited or pissed off. But let's just say the man is just very good with his punctuation. Well, then you know from the start. Yes, exactly. I think you have to read patterns here, ladies. when he first message to you. And I would say men need to notice punctuation more because we do it a lot.

Okay, puts a kiss at the end of a message on Hinge. It depends. It just depends because sometimes I'm like, stop trying to be so green flaggy. True. But then that's maybe reading into it too much. Yeah, I think you might be... I do think this whole green and red flag thing

is like emerged this thing of men trying to be such green flags that it's now harder for us to tell the difference. But I would say, green. I would say green. Did we pick kisses for me for first texting? I don't, maybe one or two. I was definitely more keen than you were. Anyway, next one. I used to get a morning kiss kiss from Toby every morning, sweet angel. Now you just get, does my breath smell? Literally my face. Okay, replies with the just okay.

Again, depends on the context. But I would do that if I was annoyed. I would do that if I was annoyed. I would do that if I was annoyed. Yeah. Early days, if you'd done something that had annoyed me, I maybe would have done that. Yeah. Wrongly or rightly, but I would have done. Even now. Yeah, true. Especially if it's an okay full stop, then you know you've really pissed them off. The full stop really does.

Sometimes you just send a full stop and nothing else. Oh, that's next level. Savage. That is heinous. Okay, sending an Obogene emoji. Oof, horrific. I don't, I'm like, when are you sending that? It was funny in a joke set in a joke, in a joke setting.

I think also, look, depends, like, you know, what you're into, but I hope she an emoji is just I don't know it's very crass it is very crass well said Rick you tell them when you've just started stating

how long should you wait to text back I I feel quite strong I'll play games here I feel quite strong on this the complete opposite I think you've got to give them a little bit of

look we're all be naive to say that we don't all play a little bit of a game at the beginning you didn't okay I didn't yeah maybe not

But, no, I didn't play any game. I was texting you. I was double texting. I was in. I was locked in. That was so easy for me. But listen, there are some people that you have to play a game with. Yeah.

I think it keeps it interesting. You don't want to put all your cards on the table at the beginning. And maybe some people will think that that's not healthy. But I think in the early stages, there's always going to be a bit of a chase. So I think you do, if you're just immediately replying back, that's... It's off-putting. Also means that you're like, always... Like, you need to seem like you've got a fucking lie.

He's always on his phone, yeah. That's the other thing. So just like it doesn't, but don't, just because they've texted and taken a while, do the same thing, because then it almost turns into a competition, which is silly. I'm going to completely contradict what you've just said. And I think you should wait, minute extra over what they've taken to reply. Really? But like, roughly the same time.

But like, I remember I would do it. Like if you took an hour to reply, I would not trying to be looking like I were taking long to reply, but I would take like 38 minutes. genuinely yeah yeah yeah but it was fun it was something to do otherwise it's too easy I wanted to enjoy the process it's like the courting stages it's like quite I don't know I lent into it like it wasn't toxic for me it didn't stress me out I enjoyed it yeah it's so exciting that first stages of dating and like texting and like oh my god I think I think oh my god I think I'm going to text by it and also you know you can just switch it up like some days you can play a game and sometimes you don't have to and then they think oh my god this guy

is so unpredictable she's so mysterious So mysterious. Did you think I'm mysterious? Toby sent me the sonogram of his sister-in-law, like the day that he found out, she was pregnant. She was like four weeks pregnant, five weeks pregnant. She was not. She was 12 weeks pregnant, but still it was very primitive here to see you with the sonogram.

We hadn't met. And he goes, some really exciting news. I don't know why I did that. And I was like, so could have easily put me off. I was like, I don't know who this person. It was like on a chair and I was like, big news in the Watkins household. You must be like, why has he sent me that? I was just so baffled.

I was like, he loved me. I just was looking for any excuse to start a conversation. Dilemma in one. Hey guys, love the pot. I'm 27 and live in London, but every Christmas I go home to my parents' house. school friends and I have a tradition that on Christmas Eve, we all meet up in the local pub for a big catch-up. Two years ago, I bumped into a guy who was three years above me at school. We never really crossed paths at school, but that night, we ended up chatting and shared a kiss.

I woke up at Christmas morning to see that he had followed me on Instagram. We started messaging, he messaged first, and arranged a date for when we were both back in London. However, on the morning of the day, he messaged me to say he was really sorry but something had come up and he had to cancel. and then nothing, dot, dot, dot. No follow-up message, no text checking in, just complete silence. I was pretty gutted because I thought we had something good going on, but after a month or so, I got over it.

Gosh, the following Christmas Eve, we bumped into each other in a pub again. I made a joke about him ghosting me. He apologized, and we ended up kissing again. The next day he messaged me and our conversation was great. We got on so well and even talked about meeting up the second time lucky dot-da-dot. Then, right as we were about to firm up plans, he stopped replying. Throughout this year, he'll send me the odd message here and there and start to start a conversation.

We'll message each other non-stop for about a week or so, but every time we get close to arranging an actual day, he suddenly disappears. I'm so confused. We have such a good connection, but what is he doing? Is it normal to pop in and out of someone's life like this? And if I see him at the pub this Christmas, what should I do? I would say that he's probably just having you when he wants you Is that really mean?

Hun, we have to be honest on this podcast This is what the girlie's come here for honesty So I would say that he's kind of having you on his terms And when he's feeling like Maybe there's not other people in the picture He's like, oh, that would be, you know, she's lovely And I'll spark up a little message And I know she'll always reply and we'll have a good chat

But then actually I'm not really that keen long term or interested long term or whatever and therefore the minute work gets busy or maybe someone that he's dating comes back in or someone that he's been messaging replies to him he's like actually this takes priority

so my advice would be take back the control sack him off you are never going to be this guy's girlfriend he is never if a boy wants to be with you and wants to talk to you it will happen

like we make all these excuses like maybe he's stressed at work or, you know, maybe he's scared of commitment, which also could be true, but that's something you don't want to be dealing with either. I think this is, I think it's a step away from that, and it's more just that he's just not interested. But he thinks you're lovely and you're great.

Yeah, and you obviously get on well, and it's frustrating when there's a one-sided connection. Because when you feel it, it's so hard to imagine that they can't feel it, because you're like, how can you not feel this connection that's magical? That's it. And they just don't. But you're going to have this throughout your life with people. I bet you've made such impressions on people

and you just don't like them that much and they are obsessed with you. There's plenty of people who will want you the whole time and not just occasionally, so they're probably the one for you and have a much better time than worrying about this person who isn't right. Right, Christmas Eve.

We're in the pub. Zorn to her over. No, you should. Just be polite and lovely, but like don't go down the kissing route because you're going to make yourself fall in love with them even more. Don't be cold, but just show. show that you're not going to pander to it like you did last time.

You're like, actually, I've got my own back here and had a nice time, but not anymore. Sorry, pal. Find someone else under the mistletoe. Nothing wrong with also, like, flirting with somebody else in the pub. Just to sort of show... Is that something you'll be doing this fester period? No. Listen, don't even address it, because that seems like you care so much.

And actually, it's not that deep. In his mind, you're a local girl that he's kissed a couple times and he has a nice chat with them once in a while and that is as far as it goes in your mind you've built this like amazing connection there's this obviously this deep reason why we're not together it's not that at all it's actually really simple and like you need to just be like oh yeah great i've actually seeing someone back in london yeah yeah nice that's what you need to say with the christmas village regroupings if you can handle it's fantastic but i don't think you can because you're spiraling all year going back to like hometown and going to that local pub great fun are you

You're really encouraging this girl to do the wrong thing. No, not that. I'm just saying, just have fun with your pals and the villagers. We can't be thinking about this boy with the villages. Oh my God. And the landlord. They'll be bringing the presents and putting it all down by the manger and everything in the village. Exactly that.

I'm just thinking about our village pub. That's why I'm probably not actually on the right-lige. Not really, but that's what makes it a vibe. It's good fun. Do you have, do you go that? Yeah, crown and horns every now and again. A couple of cold ones. Really? A couple of Guinness at Christmas

Yeah Catch me down there Okay Delemy too Hey Melissa and Toby I need your help because I'm getting the ick And I don't know what to do My boyfriend have I been together for a year now

I love him to bits And we've been talking about moving in together We're both 25 I currently live with friends But for the last month and a bit He's been staying at mine As a sort of trial run And this is where the problem starts

I realise he doesn't wash Barely at all I wake up in the shower every morning before work, whereas he'll stay in bed for as long as possible before he has to leave the house. In the evenings, I'm always home before him, so I know whether he's showered. And let me tell you, my shower is dry as a bone. I mean, she's written, this is really funny. I thought maybe he was showering at the gym, but whenever I casually asked, he said, no, no. So when is he showy? Oh, my God. Sorry, his Willie must stink. Oh, fucking else. I'm like, are you having sex?

because you can't be because it just must stick oh my god he's got everything dick we don't no i actually don't think we can exactly no not dick we'll say it about breath like if you're being on a flight be like oh i've got pain breath but like it'll be really niche you'll be like i've got like easy jet breath or i've got northern line breath yeah like i've got wednesday's breath i mean yeah just all those different things so i can only imagine english teacher breath what sort of geography teacher breath geography teachers and yeah no like coffee and then there's no food grim So it's great. Anyway.

But I have no idea how to bring it up. I've even started keeping a tally of how many days he goes without showering. Last week, it was four days. Four. He doesn't smell, which is even more baffling. The ick is so strong that I'm questioning whether moving in together is even an option. I mean, imagine getting locked in a house contract with a guy who literally doesn't wash. Please help me navigate this weird situation.

How is his willy not stinking? I'm sorry, that's all I can think about. I'm not thinking about this man's willie. Sorry. But I'm just like, I can't. Yeah, I, it's not good. It's not good. B.O. Boles.

B0 balls. I need to know what this guy's genetics are. Like, why are you not smelling? You're a bit like that. You will go days. No B.O. He'll go on like the biggest gym session. Then like won't shower for two or three hours, have breakfast. And normally at that point, like the sweat's dried, right?

And that's when it's supposed to be. It's worse. Zero smell. It's my USP. It really is. Like, it's just fantastic. I fucking stink from the other half. So it's like a real...

And this smells after a shower. Don't you? That felt so mean going out of my mouth. It's not bad. And also, you think it's way worse than actually. It's really not bad. Sometimes it freaks me out how when you were at your parents home, and I'm sure a lot of people do you do this.

You wake up and go straight down stairs. You don't brush your teeth. You don't wash your face. You have breakfast first. You have breakfast first and then you brush your teeth after. And I'm like, you shouldn't be opening that mouth until you brushed your teeth. I know, but it's because we as a couple are later rises. So then I'm like, we're being lazy lying in.

So the minute I wake up, I'm like, I want to go down and like show them I'm awake and I stink. So that's why I run down. I think it would be more polite if you were breathing on them with good breath and morning breath. Back to the shower situation, I would say that he's clearly quite not. nonchalant about it, quite blase. So just be like, hey, why there are no showering? Not that you smell, but also, like, hygiene-wise. Probably should give that dick a bit of a wash. Yeah. Not just the dick, the whole body. Well, I know, but we should maybe just... They're the crotch. I don't know. It's very strange. It is weird. I think definitely address it,

but in a jokey way, or just be like, look, I have noticed, like, how, are we not showering? Like, are we going three days without showering? Yeah, that's, I think that's the approach. You're trying to add humour to it because otherwise it's... You don't want to make it like this deep weird conversation because then it just gets weirder. He must be showering somewhere. Four days, like, you'd be in bad shape.

Like, you'd smell like BB or something. Is he wearing same clothes? Same boxes? Like, what's going on there? Um, when we were at this Mafia game, I was sat in between my friend's legs and we were playing Mafia and I could just getting these waft of fish, like strong fish and I was like

oh my god this is not right I've never smelled BB before in my life I've never smelled thrush but this was giving I was like I've heard it's strong and I was like oh my God I was like I think my poor friend Ali I think she's got BB

and then I was like I'm gonna have to be a good friend and tell her and I didn't I couldn't like concentrate or do something and Patty was like do you want a margarita I said yes I didn't because I was so like going in my mind about if I told her that she stank of BV or not, she sank of fish. I was like, I need a wee.

Can you come move for a wee? I was like, Allie, I just need to smell your crotch because something stinks of fish. It's not her crush, not a whiff, right? So I was like, it must be me. So she smelt my crotch. No. Realised there's a fucking dog bowl

right next to the sofa where I was sitting. The dog eats like a fishy dinner every night. And I was like, I am so relieved that neither of us have to be or a fishy. You've said that you told me that on the night, which I obviously just didn't clock it and then you told me this morning and I was like that is unreal.

Honestly, it was like my anxiety was like I thought I had it I was like it must have been me because I was obviously sat on the floor she was sat on the sofa and I was sat in between her legs so could have easily been mine as well

oh god and I was like does it come on that quick I was fine when I left the house why do I stink fish that is awful sorry just to loop back circle back on that last dilemma you need to just obviously have a word with him in a jokey sense.

Like, babe, I've just noticed that we're not showering. So what's going on with that then? Yeah, just approach it in a funny way. Don't make it deep. Can we make it every other day? Yeah. Throw some humour in there for sure. That's my advice.

Or just suggest to him to wash his balls every day. I don't know. Because if it's a full body situation, we should just be washing our hygienic areas. Like armpits and, yes. Pits, gooch, balls. Yes. Nice. The trifecta.

Right. On that note, please keep sending in the funny dilemmas. We're liking those ones. And just have a lovely Christmas, guys. And thank you for your wise words, Rick. Pleasure. Pleasure to be here. Love you guys so much.

Bye. That's it for this week, Wednesdays, but God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad-free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our instabio