Wednesdays - 123: The TRUTH About Our Relationship Ft. Toby Watkins

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

Melissa's boyfriend, the wonderful Toby Watkins, is in the hot seat this week and we're covering ALL sorts. From insight into Toby and Melissa's relationship, how they tackle various situations and where their loyalties lie... to some cheeky confessions from both sides! And, of course, it would've been rude not to give him a go on the studio's new toy - the infamous period pain simulator. Thanks for listening xThis episode is sponsored by Katie Loxton, the go-to online destination for beautifully personalised handbags, accessories, and gifts!Katie Loxton is offering an exclusive 15% off their new collection for Wednesdays We Drink Wine listeners with code: WWDW15-Instagram / TikTok / YouTube: @wednesdayswedrinkwineEmail: [e-mail]-Credits:Podcast Producer & Editor: @kat.milsomAdditional Producer: @jemimarathboneVideographer: @jamierg99Social Media: @emzchampionAssistant Producer: @maiaadelia.docs Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register by March 15th. Additional terms apply. learn more at wealthsimple.com slash match fanduel casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying i do who wants this last parachute i do enjoy the number one feeling winning in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Melissa are you a doctor uh I want to be but I'm not I'm not a doctor either and we're not

psychologists and we're not experts in anything in fact we just chatted all the shit so and we love giving you guys advice but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help We love giving you guys advice. But as we said. We love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Right, guys, we're doing something a little bit different with Sweet or Dry this week because this episode is sponsored by John Lewis and Partners in Intel. We put a bit of a theme on the usual Sweet or Dry suggestions. John Lewis is the one-stop shop for affordable university essentials and market-leading tech. Oh, looky, he sounds so professional.

Sell it to me, Prashy. Okay, so John Lewis have tech-like Intel Evo laptops that are engineered and verified to give you the best overall laptop experience that guarantee reliable performance performance providing zero compromise on multitasking or speed a nine hour battery life and picture perfect high quality 4k streaming for all that important post lecture downtime so inspired by john lewis and partners we're going to play a quick uni themed version of sweet sweet or dry so melissa sweet or dry uni edition let's go okay they leave dirty plates in the kitchen

in the shared kitchen sink dry as hell disgusting okay they shush people in the library there's nothing worse than being shushed

is there my mum is a shusher and I think shushing is the like tell me to shut up I'm the same shush she goes shush

oh my god I know there's nothing worse than being shushed it's like Ross from France just no I so so so agree okay ready they still wear their six when leaving hoodies frankly dry dry for me Oh my God, I know there's nothing worse than being judged. It's like Ross from France, just no. I so, so, so agree. Okay, ready? Yeah.

They still wear their six-worm leaving hoodies, frankly. Dry for me. Dry. I think it's okay if you're wearing it briefly after you leave. I think if a boy, no, I really don't. Actually, you know what? Lounging around the house, I think it's so fine, but out and about. That's dry.

So this one, just going to say this isn't going to be an issue for anyone with an Intel Evo laptop. Oh my gosh, she's at it again. I know. So if their laptop battery is consistently dead, so they're always looking for their charger. I think that's dry. I agree. Quite annoying as well,

asking to borrow other people's charger. Yeah, I just sort of like that. Okay, this one. Whenever they open their laptop, they have a million tabs open. That's me. Oh my gosh, that's me. But that's Catherine.

That's me. That's me. All over, all over. That is... I think it's dry. I don't think it's dry my god that's me but that's all over all over that is i i think it's dry i don't think but it's me it's annoying it's hectic it's hectic but i am i'll be honest i can't shame anyone for this because it's so easily done but it really can slow down your laptop i know my laptop is so slow me too to the point where we've had to buy new ones and it's not even the problem i know although. Although to be fair, the Intel Evo's powerful processor means you can multitask without compromising on performance or speed.

So if you're a serial tab opener like us, that could be a good shot. We know, right? This will sort us out. Their room is in such a state they have to blur their background when they video to their parents, which by the way,

you can do on the Intel Evo built-in intelligence features. God, this is amazing. This is amazing. I don't think that's, I mean, it's a bit dry like sort your room out but it's quite sweet at the same time like they don't want their parents to see the messy room do you know what i mean totally and you'll see if you've got that laptop like we are fine yeah you're sorted okay that's it for sweet or dry and remember if you're heading to uni john lewis and partners are the one-stop shop for affordable uni essentials and market-leading tech

like Intel Evo laptops. If you're interested in this uni-ready laptop visit John Lewis shops or head online to johnlewis.com to decide which laptop is right for you. Spread the cost with interest-free credit available on Intel Evo laptops over a thousand pounds. Credit is exclusively offered by Creation Consumer Finance Limited and John Lewis is the credit broker. Credit is subject to status and for over 18s only, terms and conditions apply. Hello. Hi.

So safe to wear at the moment. So you've got me again. Just bring your boyfriend to work there. Yeah, yeah, he loves it. And you guys love it too. Was this my fourth time on the podcast or fifth? fifth okay so we did two in the old studio yeah one pre-bake up one post then you've done two in here this is the so this is the fifth fifth oh would you look at that lovely stuff part of the family okay right so i just have to really quickly tell you guys

this so obviously i used to be on a show called me and Chelsea and I left but the other day I went for dinner with my friend Julius and it was honest we both left the show and it was honestly like we were in a real life thing so I don't know if I'm supposed to be saying this I'm also giving away things that are in the new season coming out but I'm not part of the show so I'm sure I can say so basically I know sorry so basically I went out for supper with my friend Julius and there was a couple in there that really should not have been in there together and me and Julius saw them. Yeah, good way. And then they ran out of this pub that we were in

because they obviously were like, fuck, we've been seen, right? Then bump into the one person they didn't want to bump into, which was this bloke's current girlfriend. She sees it all in real life. She's then chasing him down the King's Road, screaming at him.

Him and this girl he was having dinner with run into this co-op and she's screaming at them from the outside anyway. Then she came to the pub afterwards and was being tossed and was very upset because she's obviously caught him with his ex-girlfriend. That is chaos. It was hectic.

What would you do? Imagine that. Okay, say you're playing away from home with me. What is this saying? You said this yesterday. Someone's playing away from home. It just means you're having? You said this yesterday. Someone's playing away from home. It just means you're having

a scandalous affair. Oh, lovely. Don't mean that. It's just good entertainment. But what would you do? Okay, say that. Well, I got caught. You got caught.

You're in a restaurant with guy number two. And then I walk in for lads night. I'd just be like, here's my friend. Would you hide in the toilets or would you just leg it?

So you haven't seen me yet? No, so I sit down. And I can see that you're there but you haven't seen me yet. I haven't seen you yet. Shit. I would leg it, maybe. I would try and get out.

I meant to say you wouldn't actually do it in the first place. Oh my god, I would never, but I thought you were saying I've already done the deed so how am I getting myself out of it? How would I get myself out of it? You wouldn't. You would just crumble and tell me straight away because you're the worst liar in the world. Worst liar in the first place. Oh my god, I would never, but I thought you were saying I've already done the deed, so how am I getting myself out of it? How would I get myself out of it? You wouldn't, you would just crumble

and tell me straight away, because you're the worst liar in the world. Yeah, the worst liar in the world. Okay, right, now we're into the game Code Breakers. Woo hoo! Keep or break the girl slash bro code? Oh my god, this is going to be so interesting to see if we come up with the same answer

in a straight way. Oh my god, so all I have to do is that. the same answer so we'll just do three two one and then hold up whatever we think yeah ready for this ready ready ready we're ready what happens on tour stays on tour e.g getting with slash swapping numbers with someone else ready i'm guessing you're in a relationship three two one break the code the code is being broken. Okay, so two scenarios. Say you do something borderline like swapping numbers or flirting or whatever. Or you know outright that they've actually fully cheated. I think it's all the same. I think it's all the fucking same.

If I go and swap numbers with some bloke in a club, I'm cheating. I want to cheat. But you then, I think you speak to that. I don't think you can get, it depends how close you are to the girl, right? It's like then how do you bother passing her information let's say I was on my brother's stag

and one of the guys whose girlfriend I don't know was at the bar swapping numbers with another girl that's not my place to get involved

no no you're on a stag one of your one of your friends that you've seen is in a relationship he swaps numbers with a girl in the club do you

then go up to the bloke and be like mate that's fucking out of order like i don't like that at all i'm probably not gonna be able to hang out with you guys as a couple now like knowing that yeah you're gonna have to tell your girlfriend like oh we just can't be friends i don't agree with that at all that is 100% what you do yeah yes that's breaking a bro code as i would say but it's it's doing the right thing code okay your friends exes are off limits break the code I think that there's only a certain

amount of people in this universe you know what I mean yeah true true true I think it depends on circumstance as well I feel like a lot

like when we get older a lot of people do date each other's exes and like people are just okay with it I think you start to grow up a bit more like if you're

it depends on proximity it depends on like how long the relationship was freshness yeah it depends on the relationship was yeah but like if you're happily in a new relationship with a girl that you want to you know you see yourself getting married you see a future and one of your mates is dating susan from uni you'd be like crack on she's a lovely girl i so agree there's scenarios where i think you have to draw the line but ultimately I think it's fine to break the code. Okay. Your friend's mum slash dad is off limits too? Stifler's mum vibe.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I think that we might have to keep the code on that one. I feel like I heard a story about someone doing that. Shut up. Oh my God. Okay, different. But one of my friends is a football coach and one of the mums was going through a divorce

and then they started flirting and he was like I'll be at the Hilton tonight 8pm room 101 and she came there got down to it became a thing

there was like he didn't create a divorce it was already happening sure sure sure but she was an older mum going through a divorce and he was just sorting her out

he was there for her just shoulder to cry on. I think that's quite lovely. What a great story, isn't it? I think that's nice. I think that's fine. Quite fun. I don't think

the Stiffler Mom vibe is really... No, I think we keep the code on this one. I think you keep the code. You don't shag each other's parents. I'm just imagining one of my friends

dating one of my other friends' dad. I think that's just... No, that's rogue. Oh, you shouldn't steal your friend's baby name. We keep the code on that. That's effed up. Oh, what? If they've got some really alternative names? No, no, no. No, that's a robe. Oh, you shouldn't steal your friend's baby name. We keep the code on that. That's effed up. Oh, what if they've got some really alternative name?

No, no, no, listen, listen, listen. I have a list of baby names. Everyone knows what I want to call my first boy and my first girl. If anyone else fucking takes those names, they are dead to me. Dead to me. Really? I had one last night, one that I liked, and you went, yeah, you can call your son that, but I was like,

fuck, we're going our separate ways in this one sharing your friend's secrets with your partner fine line fine fine fine line I think I'm gonna do a bit of this situation it is tempting because it depends on there has been secrets where I haven't been able secrets things I've known which I haven't been able to keep to myself where you've been able to help me with them and I feel like there's obviously a very strong trust there but there is definitely a lot of things which I don't tell you because I'm like it would just make me think weirdly of certain people when we hang out with them again or like you just there's no need for you to know yeah that's it I think there's just no need there's also like I always go and if I'm going to share something with someone and they've got a girlfriend

or a boyfriend I kind of almost will assume they're gonna tell them so if it's something really bad I'll either say like you just can't tell so and so about this or if I'm telling them I'll say oh don't tell them but kind of a known that they will anyway so like yeah it's like not a huge secret it's just like a funny but if it's like a properly maybe you know like skeleton in the closet then you've got to you don't tell anyone you don't you keep the code i totally agree keep that code your friends family members are off limits for any romantic relationship so like that's like me dating someone's brother i think that's fine so like let's say ali's got a brother she does have a brother i've kissed him before if they're good people yeah i think it's so fine like if one of my friends dated my brother for

example i'd be fine with it yeah i think there has to be a level of respect from like both sides of that that it is like there's someone that you love in the middle of it so like you just have to be sensible but i think it's fine you don't want to go around like i think we keep that only we break the code we break the code you can do it crack on you shouldn't get with a guy that you know your friend was interested in too. I mean. I did that traveling. I kind of think. Okay, right. I think ultimately it depends on who the other person. If you both fancy him, I think it's fair game.

Yeah. Whoever gets that. I did it traveling with my friend Max. When we were away in New Zealand, there was this girl that we both really fancied. Fair enough. He was getting with her. And then he seemed like not interested because he was texting his ex-girlfriend back home and he was like gonna get back with her so he kind of fell out of interest so then i was like okay well then sweet i swooped in up for grabs swooped in and he got all annoyed at me oh he just can't help it i'm so fit no that is not true but yeah

cause the right fucking hoo-ha well i, I think we break the code on that. Break the code. I think it's fine. So fine. Unless someone's like, I mean, dropped dead in love with, unless, you know, like. No friends on Wall Street. Gotta do what you gotta do. We're loving this.

You should always back your girlfriend slash boyfriend over your friends. Yeah. Keep the code. Keep the code. Depends how wrong they are, but yeah, I ultimately keep the code. But sometimes have stern words with your girlfriend afterwards. I know what this is about. Okay. What? code keep the code depends how wrong they are but yeah i ultimately keep the code but sometimes have stern words with your girlfriend afterwards i know what this is about okay what send in keep the codes break the codes because we love them and they're really good short chart answers also

i just feel like we're really good at you know just but we're really in sync do you know what i mean i agree everyone's been held up at the same time if we were compatible or not compatible challenge in that do you have to handle thing we would definitely win it we would so i think this is just going to be us giving our approach to topics as a couple yeah almost we put on our instagram like oh we're having a boy on obviously toby and so we want people to ask us questions about relationship based yeah alright

you go first okay how do you feel when one of you goes out or goes away somewhere what in terms of like be really honest do you ever get like I think the point in this is like

do you get like paranoid are you like oh my god no I'm quite lucky I've never I wouldn't especially with you I wouldn't get like paranoid about something happening especially with me people come on to me all the time what are you talking about what does that mean you're fine I've never I wouldn't especially with you I wouldn't get paranoid about something happening

especially with me people come on to me all the time what are you talking about what does that mean you're fine I've never had to worry about it absolute rotter no one's coming on to you

that rotter sat in the corner don't go near her aww nah joking I would no but I feel like we've got a lot of trust we both have never really

had an issue with that haven't really yeah oh actually that's such a lie you have what when I did Made in Chelsea Bali we had very like with that, have we? We haven't really, yeah. Oh, actually, that's such a lie you have. What? When I did Mane and Chelsea Barley, we had very, like, basically before I went,

we were really, really, really, really newly, like, together. Oh, yeah. It was like, we hadn't, like, put it out there because it was, like, so new and I was still doing the show and it was all a bit complicated and weird. Miles was living in our house and so was Julius. And someone put up a story of me sat on mars's lap and you lost your shit at me i think mainly from more of the point of view is like it's annoying because now people assume you and mars are together and i can't post that we're together right yeah it was also the fact that that was the first time we've other people like gareth were posting like hottest

new couple oh it was a wind up it was pissing egging people on and i was like fuming oh no and then i got really angry with you guys like really really really angry yeah that was that's the only time i've been properly angry we're both very non-jealous yeah not very gentle sometimes i will get jealous if i like i don't know like i'll get jealous if i see it and like if but if i if the thought of you going on a night out i'd never think about it but then if i saw you being actually like doing it then obviously i'd be like fuming but i would never assume that you would you know yeah so i wouldn't ever like i never again it never comes into my mind if you messaged me being like oh god

back at like 4am last night i would never think well oh she's had a big night i wouldn't think yeah yeah you wouldn't think oh my god she's been splurting yeah yeah i think you just have to really just trust and almost not turn a blind eye is the wrong word, but you can't. A bit of blind faith. Yeah, it's like, so you make up so many scenarios. But then also that depends on other people's like. Previous behaviors. Yeah, exactly.

Like their attachment styles and all of that malarkey. I mean, I've been cheated on, but I still don't ever, ever. Same, I've been cheated on. And I never get paranoid about it. Yeah, I think, but I was cheated on when I was like 16. Yeah, me too. I was 16, 17. But then some people have had it in adult, proper adult relationships.

So I think that then affects like. Sure. You can't not. It can't cross your mind like, oh, it might happen again. You have to trust. What is it called? Innocent to proven guilty. Like I'll trust them until they show me not to trust them.

Yeah. I think that's what you have to go with. Otherwise you'll ruin stuff. Yeah. By being like paranoid. I agree. Okay. paranoid. I agree. Okay, next one. Close same-sex friendships, where is the line?

I think, again, we've both got... Actually, no, I haven't really got that many close girlmates. No. You've got a lot of guy mates that are... I mean, the line is the line. Yeah. I don't know, it repulses me, the thought. I don't know.

Okay, let's say... Can I say his name? Scott? Oh, yeah. So, the wonderful Scott, right? The wonderful Scott. He's a part of our relationship. I don't know it repulses me the thought I don't know okay let's say can I say his name Scott oh yeah so the wonderful Scott the wonderful Scott he's a part of our relationship he is imagine you going away

for like on a holiday or staying the night at a party and you had to top and tail with Scott yeah I would I wouldn't be like

yeah you wouldn't be worried about it I've only got I've only got like four like guy mates that I'm like I guess all like Jack yeah you wouldn't care I wouldn't care Julius you wouldn't care not about it i've only got like four like guy mates that i'm like i guess or like jack yeah you wouldn't care i wouldn't care julius you wouldn't care not that julius is like a best guy man but even then like you wouldn't care yeah for enough you know what it is i think it just

depends on circumstance so if you had like a girl that's like now your friend that was like an ex you've slept with her a couple times then you were doing stuff like that i'd be like oh yeah i'm not sure how i feel about that who who of your friends would i not want you to top and tail with there's probably a few we don't need we don't need to name them but there is probably some but there's i don't know i don't know if there's any of your girlfriends i wouldn't be comfortable with you top and tailing with i don't really know i don't think i'd be comfortable top and tail i don't know many of my girl mates that well to top and tail with them you have girlfriends but not the ones you go like one-on-one dinners with yeah that's the difference or you call them up and you face them for a catch up, which is what I do.

And you wouldn't do that. That's true. We've had this conversation. I think it's important to have like. 100%. The line is the line, basically. I think it's like very obvious where the line is. Yeah.

Okay, right. So, oh, you just made an excellent point. So Toby's, right, got a new job or whatever. It got on really well with this girl. She's really hot but it's strictly friendship how i would feel about it you're not allowed to be friends with her basically it would be i know what you mean like imagine i just suddenly like build this relationship with this super hot guy and like we're just friends but like yeah that's that

that would you're like facetiming him every other minute and i'd go on from one on one dinner it's like how i do with my other friends like that would be hard that would just be I wouldn't be okay with you doing that yeah it's a bit rogue but I also just don't think isn't it isn't it's like I guess there's like a line of respect in a certain type of way where it's like I wouldn't want to ever like you kind of just know how it looks right yeah in a situation one of when we went together melissa went on a date with one of her friends friends who's the loveliest guy i'm not going to mention oh right yeah and he's now we've been on holiday with him and stuff great like the

greatest guy it was also one day it was one day but he now makes a point every time he sees either me or melissa he's like he'll see melissa oh hey buddy makes it so obvious like we are just friends but I'm not sure if he does that to every one of it is just yeah I don't know maybe it's like hey dude trying to get rid of any sexual tension possible it's not sexual no I know I think it's almost like to just reiterate it's kind of what I do I've I feel like it's not a people-pleasing thing but it's just trying to make everyone feel comfortable yeah exactly if I've been on a date with a girl that hadn't gone anywhere and we ended up being friends and you were there i'd make it like as matey as possible oh my god your brother's wedding

i don't know if i should say something but the night before we had like oh the bridesmaids and like everyone like came for this stunning dinner the night before the wedding and toby like honestly had like sudden panic in his eyes. And I was like, what's wrong? He's like, can you come in the studio with me? Can I just pull you to the drawing room for a quick chat? He went into the drawing room. So it's not a big deal.

But a few years ago, a lot of girls are coming. OK, right, bye-bye. I got on my phone. I was like, is this one? Is this one? OK, bye. This one and the blonde one. The blonde one and the dress

anyway have a great evening and I'll see you in a bit oh god but then I guess you're friendly with her but you're not friends with her I haven't seen her

and yet she moved out anyway I'm not gonna dive holding it is all about communication and we've had that before with Flossie with Flossie

on the day before she came on the podcast or something but we've been speaking about her for a few times and he never mentioned it I'll just say you're a psycho I think as you say it's about good communication

and keeping things not a secret because I sometimes think boys are sometimes silly and they keep things from girls to try and protect them because there is actually nothing but then you make it into a bigger deal try and protect them because there is actually nothing. But then there's obviously the other side of it where you do lie because there is things to hide.

So I think it's just about being honest and open. And at the end of the day, if you want to have a shum shum with a friend, then you really maybe shouldn't be in a relationship. I don't know. True. I also feel like trust your gut. If you feel like something spooky is going on it probably is okay so basically our lovely producer one of our lovely producers jimmy was going to ask us extra questions from a single person's point of view right yeah these are things that um we asked people what they'd love a boy's perspective of in terms of dating okay okay so the voice of the single people got you okay i would like to know if you're

messaging someone and they're taking their time to reply, do you leave a calculated gap between replies to match them? Do you pick up on that and copy it or do you just reply? I've done it to the hour before. That was not bad, I've done it to the minute. No, so like if someone's taking a while to respond to me, back when I was single, I would 100% delay it longer. Yeah. Play the game. You play the game.

Who can play that game? I would then leave it like so long. But then it becomes stupid and then they ghost you and then... I think that's just because I'm not interested in it. But yeah, no, 100%. Okay, second one. I have a situation I'd love to get a boy's opinion on. I had an encounter with a boy and afterwards had a little stalk, as we all do,

and discovered that he had applied to be my housemate a few months before. We never met, but he had applied to be my housemate. Hilarious, right? He'd given me his number when he applied to be my housemate, although we didn't exchange numbers on the night. So I messaged him to say, isn't this insane? We could have been housemates he didn't reply later I was recounting this story to a guy mate who was horrified that I'd messaged

and said I seemed like a stalker but isn't that normal I want to know do boys stalk girls they meet and did this guy have no sense of humor or have I totally outed myself as a weirdo um I just think I don't think there's anything more to that no I don't think so I mean 100% guys

stalk girls before they like yeah I think that would have been fine to say but more importantly do boys stalk girls yes

absolutely 100% Toby stalked me yesterday oh my god all the way down my Instagram when I wasn't there

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until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m eastern restrictions apply see full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com please play responsibly we're not doing dynamics today guys shock because we've done so many things and just answered so many wise questions so we're just gonna have it oh do you want to read this out okay i'll give a go it's at the bottom tiny whiny message girls making the first moves this is a whole story then you can add what you think to it okay so i wanted to share my experiences of women making the first move i've got together with every single one of my relationships while making the first move.

Give me. At any bar, event, pub, etc. If I saw an attractive guy, I would go up and say, you're really hot, are you single? Wow. Once or twice, they've said that they had a girlfriend. Truth, or they just didn't fancy me. Fair enough.

And if that happened, I would say, shame and skip off. But most times, it's led to being in a relationship. Good numbers, that. This is insane one of one of those times was now with my husband of 10 years i walked up said you're hot walk me home he was meant to be on a fun one night stand but ended up being the absolute love of my life oh my god girls always fucking go for it you could meet your soulmate oh my god that's beautiful so sweet that's really great okay so i mean i'm obviously

we've only got positive i've got a i've got a similar story to that one of my teachers at school gave us a um a talk in assembly about how people should look up from their phones more because he was on the tube once and it was like the last tube home and his phone had run out of battery so he was normally he'd be going on his phone checking his emails or whatever but because his phone had run out of battery. So normally he'd be going on his phone, checking his emails or whatever, but because his phone had run out of battery, he was looking around the carriage, saw this beautiful girl from across the way, and was like, she's so great, I need to say something, I'll regret it.

Anyway, went up and spoke to her, and they're now married. So his moral of the story was like, just look up from your phones, get engaged in real life. Okay, so I think girls making a first move, but also guys making moves. Yeah. Guys don't make moves anymore. I have to say, I'm not being a good advocate for this, because I would love to say that I'm that guy, and I'm just not. Well, you're in a relationship now, huh?

No, I know, but when I was single, I just couldn't do it. Yeah, I couldn't do it. I'd have to find some reason to go and speak to them. Okay, actually, you know what? When I've had a bit to drink, I'm forward you used to give people very people the wave oh my god no I have done this and it's actually turned out to be one of my best friends boyfriends and I saw him like on the scene I was like you just did the old you waved me over oh that's quite unreal so that's just like that's like a bit of a move oh yeah I think it's so great girls making moves I agree

I think it's quite confident enough a lot of boys aren't confident enough you have to just yeah that's one thing i was gonna say i need to work on i don't think i don't think you need to work on that but if single me back in the day should have been better at that if you saw me at the club would you have done anything no yeah i would have done no i would have had to pull some strings behind the behind the scenes. Like what? Just message you on Instagram, which is really bad. I know that's awful, but I just haven't got... I just...

Oh, I made the first move to kiss you. It's not even the... You did. It's not even the fear of rejection, which is obviously there. It is what it is deep down. That is what it is. It's the nervousness of talking in like the first... I would rather...

Like that small talk at the bar is the shit like the really you almost want to be like hey can i have your number and then just like thank you and then that can be really like fun and exciting yeah hey can i buy you a drink and if you're super fit you fancy them you will say yes the worst they're gonna do is say no as this girl's just said i think that's an epic story and that's taught us all a lesson there is i think it depends on how many drinks are in the in the gallon for me, which is obviously nothing that we should be like pushing. Wait, what?

How many drinks I've had means how confident I'll be. So like if the wave comes out, I'll be happy to probably like go and just like chat to someone or give someone the look, give someone the eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a long period of time so they know I'm interested by looking at them. But then if I haven't had anything to drink necessarily and I'm not not feeling that confident the fear of rejection is so high i'm never going over it's really difficult but i think this has taught us all a lesson like just have no fear just go

for it so toby you personally again like if you're single if someone was to come over to you in a club because obviously like the issue is people were worried about what's the first line to say yeah that's it this girl's saying that she just goes up straight away and it's just like you're really hot like would that intimidate you or would you be like oh it's actually quite cool or like yeah what would you be your ideal i think that's that's a nicer way of doing it again it depends on if you find them attractive because it's the same there's two different people who come up and say the exact same thing this sounds really mean but like it's true we're all based on attraction so it depends on or like their, not even just what they look like,

but their vibe. Yeah, like if you, it's just if you're attracted to them. Their delivery of it, their like body language, everything impacts it. I've had a girl come up to me

and like neg me in a club and be like, will be like rude to me. In a smoking area or something, will come up and be like, almost, I don't know if they're trying to flirt, but it's a terrible way of doing it.

Like what? They'll just say something quite rude or like. Like what? Give me an example. I don't know if they're trying to flirt but it's a terrible way of doing it but like what i just say say something quite rude or like like what give me an example i don't know they were just trying to think there was this one girl in particular oh your your trainers are shit yeah something like that or or like or you think you you think you're a bit cool don't you oh that's the worst chat and people do stuff yeah and you're like what i'm just with my friends i'm not trying to do anything you know and they'll be like oh you think you're a bit cool and I just give you a bit of like they think they're being funny

and then you're actually just a bit like insulting and you're like can you just leave but yeah in answer to your question I think I think you'd like it

ultimately everyone likes to be like flattered so I think it's and even if you didn't find them attractive you still wouldn't think they're weird

you'd just be like oh no that wasn't for me but hats off to her for giving it a go that would work on someone else what can we just give a bit of advice if you didn't find them attractive, you still wouldn't think they're weird. You'd just be like, oh no, that wasn't for me, but perhaps Ottawa for giving it a go. That would work on someone else. What can we just give a bit of advice? What could be the best way to approach someone?

Because I'm not going up saying like, oh, you're super fit. Like, I'm not doing that. So what am I doing? Maybe I'm going up

and saying like, okay, let's say I've never met you in a club before. I go, what do I say? And I'm nervous and I'm thinking about it. I think I'd just be like, hey like hey hey i think i would just over stare and i'd just be like hey

and just yeah yeah that's nice and then just see yeah what that reaction is and then just be like oh nice to meet you then bye if you're not getting a like a vibe back yeah that's just like so fine that's it you pick up on the vibe quite quickly or you can do the whole like hey do i know you do i have i met you before yeah you're really familiar you look like my next girlfriend toby nice to meet you how's it going would that work yeah yeah yeah okay cool will you get the news or my way of doing it is i'd go i'd be like hey how's it going blah blah speak to them can i buy you a drink get their number and be like i'll leave you to your night but i'll message you and then and then that's it and then you're like looking for them all night you're like oh my god and then you might pop up or should we remake this or sometimes even if you're getting to that point of that's what your line is going to be

and then you carry on chatting having a good vibe then you don't need to say it or you know you've got your backup line of like well you have a fun night you're with your friends but i'll message you and then you can go on the date but make sure that we get that number we get that social media and also don't do that weird thing of calling the number at the bar because then you can go on the date but make sure that we get that number we get that social media and also don't do that weird thing of calling the number at the bar because then you know some people give you the wrong number and then you call it

and then it's awkward gorgeous stuff now I'm excited to go up to a bar and meet some fit guys oh my god you're horrific no we can go together and do roleplay

like we did that one time before me and Toby are really weird with that sort of shit we always like play roleplay but not actually Toby goes kkk so so so so we haven't met but we've just seen each other on the bus for the first time what are we going to do really weird with that sort of shit. We always like play role play but not actually. Toby goes, okay, okay, okay, so, so, so, so.

We have met but we've just seen each other on the bus for the first time. What are we going to do? I don't know. We want to try this period cramp thing because Jamie Lang

made an investment or Jam Pop Productions made an investment with this period cramp which is excellent news. So we get to try it on Toby. And also, you've recently come out of your period, and I don't know if I've had enough sympathy. The day was the day.

Well, I don't expect you to, because you don't know what it's like, but now you will, so. Okay, here we go. Wait, we're putting it on me first, I think. I'm ready. So I just click up. It doesn't really feel like period pain, does it? What level are you on? What is that?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Eight was quite extreme, but I think that's probably about right. What? It doesn't feel as bad as period pain, I don't think. Brilliant. So level eight. I just don't want to shit myself. Where have my ovaries been?

And it comes in waves. I'm actually really nervous. Yeah, it's not very nice. Oh, oh, oh. What are you on? Oh. It's so... That's so weird.

What level is that? I'm on four, but I don't know... Oh, my God. That's the weirdest thing. Sorry. No, why? I feel like I've got electricity running through my pubic hair. I don't like it. Fuck.

Okay, and it comes in waves, so I'm fine. Yeah, it comes in waves. That's what real pubic hair is like. Three, four. Oh, no, that's not nice at all. It's not going down the hoidom. My legs. Okay, I'm going to go to one more, and I think that's not nice at all. It's not going down the hole in my legs Okay, I'm gonna go to one more

Let's be done Okay, wait, I'm a fine Mad respect because that was not fun. Do you want to try and turn it up and then maybe say a sentence? Okay. Maybe you don't have to... Listen, you don't have to go up to number eight. Maybe do like four or five.

What would ease you into it? Okay, what's my sentence going to be? Just the segment that we're doing. Why don't you introduce the segment... Why don't you introduce the segment that we're doing? Okay. It's the fact that It comes in waves I'm fine, I'm fine

That's actually what happens With period pain as well That's like when you've got Like a stomach bug And then you're like Oh, I'm fine I'm not going to shit myself And then a minute later

No Oh my god I'm way too quick Okay Imagine trying to drive Or do something serious Like we have to do Okay, I'm on level

One, two, three, four, five. Good for you, KM. See if I can carry on a conversation. Level five. Oh, baby, come on. Seriously, try your best. Someone got me in your event. That's not funny.

Introduce yourself. Hey, guys. Welcome back to Wednesdays We Drink Or Wednesdays We Drink Wine My name's Sophie Abu And this is Melissa Tatham I can't do it It's so bad

Oh my god Oh that's horrible I'm so happy you've done that It's mental What we go through Human bodies are weird. They are. All right, I think on that note, we're just going to end the episode here.

Thank you so much for coming on, Toby. It's been very insightful. There we go. No worries. Thanks for having me. You're a legend. That was intense. Love you.

Love you too. Bye. I was talking to the listeners. I love you too. I'm still in shock. My stomach doesn't feel right. Oh, no. Toby's not going to be right for the rest of the day now, guys.

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recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio