Wednesdays - 123. THROWBACK: Our BEST EVER Dating Dilemmas

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

Heyyyy Tinies! For all our lovely Tinies in the dating trenches, we've got you. We're sharing some of our best ever dating dilemmas and advice to help you through. Consider this your cheat code for surviving the dating chaos.We’re answering those age-old questions around dating we’ve all asked at one point. Should you talk about an ex on the first date - is it giving open book vibes or obsessed energy? How do you ask someone to be your valentine without being too cringe? Plus, Melissa shares her spicy tips on keeping a long-distance relationship alive and Sophie weighs in on handling your boyfriend’s lads’ holiday because let’s be real, we’ve all been there…Enjoy the episode x Got a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail] | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]:Executive Producer: Ewan Newbigging-ListerProducer: Helen Burke & Magda CassidyAssistant Producer: Issy Weeks-HankinsVideo: Lizzie McCarthySocial: Anthony Barter & Amber Hourigan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey tiny's Valentine's Day is just around the corner. And whether you're loved up, single or deep in a situation ship, we thought this would be the perfect time to give some relationship advice. We've put together Sophie and I's best dating advice over the years. We talk about first dates, do's and don'ts of sex-sting and we even go into a little role play scenario for you. Enjoy the episode, guys. Love you. Hey girls, Valentine's dilemma. I've been friends with my boy best friend for nearly five years. Last year, we kissed in Paris on a trip with our friends. Gorgeous.

How romantic. Gorgeous. I then dated someone else because he didn't want to date. But this New Year's Eve, we kissed again. And then again at our friend's birthday two weeks ago. How confusing? Right, well, that are together. I'm not sure if I want a boyfriend, but I care for him a lot and want him in my life.

So what do I do? Do we state to friendship or should I ask him to be my Valentine? I've never had this whole, like, I've obviously seen it in the film. So people send like, you a rose. And then it's like, well, you be my valentineine. This is a great big mystery and it's like good fun. I've never experienced. experience that and I don't know anyone else in real life that has. Have you ever had that?

Well, you've just, like, an anonymous... Really? I was like, oh my God, I'm really missing out. No one wants to be with me. No, no, I haven't. But my friend, Halk used this every year at school, she'd get a rose sent to our school and then it was from her dad. Oh my God, that's so cute. I know. And it's like, well, you'd be my valentine. From their mom as well. I've seen, I've seen that, or like, their best friend will send one. Oh my God, it's so sweet. I think I used to make my mum Valentine's cards as well.

Why's mine? I don't know. I got you the friendship necklace. You should get me something this time. I got you the heated best. I know, but electricutes me. It's because our love is so electrical. That's just fireworks and sparks.

Okay, right. What I would do with that. Some serious advice. No, no, is my piece of advice. No. Don't ask him to be your Valentine. Let's not make it cringe. Let's just go. No, we'd be like, look, I kind of like kissing you.

Should we see where this can go? I would just be like, what are you doing tonight? And then go out for some drinks. If you're friends. Have a nice little smooch-smooch. And then let him lead with it because you're then, you know, showing interest. But you're not being like, right, are we going to still be friends or are we going to do X, Y and Z? You've got to let him, like, take some initiative here.

Do you know what I mean? If it's Valentine's Day, he can step up. It's a big move to ask someone to do something on Valentine's Day. Like, I'm scaling back to when me and Jamie were friends and if I'd asked him to do something of Valentine's Day. What are you doing on February 14th? vomit. Like he would have run a mile back then. No, he wouldn't have? I know what you mean, though. It's just like, let's say you start dating Jan.

January 1st, we launch. Okay, we're dating. First dates happened. So then, like, you know, you've got like a month and two weeks till Valentine's Day. That's fine. But let's just say you start dating February 1st. Is it a bit weird to do something on Valentine's Day? And you know what? If I was dating somebody, I would probably bring it up. Be like, look, I don't think, like, let's just say, like, let's just. I don't think, like, like, let's. let's go out a few days after Valentine's Day. It's like actually maybe a bit too much pressure or something. Or like, just be easy about it. I don't think that you asking your pal of five years

and being like, will you be my Valentine? I don't think that's going to go down that well. If you were like actually lull friends though, maybe it is quite low to be like, will you be my Valentine? As a complete enough joke, but it really depends on the friendship. It could just go down one or two ways. It could go one or two ways.

I also think because you have kissed. And on face, face to face, like no way do it over text. so intense. It could be right the wrong way. I think if you're in a group scenario and everyone's talking about what they're doing for Valentine's Day, you could turn to him and be like, do you want to just do something? So we're just going to do a little skit. A sketch. Okay, so I'm going to be

the girl, and I'm going to ask you, you're the boy. Okay, ready? Start scene. Quiet on set. I'm so good. Cheers, mate. Samuel, hi. Did you to be serious? Why are you taking me seriously?

I'm like, crazy girl like. Hi. Your name's Samuel and my name is Miranda. Oh no, all right. All right. Sam, hey. Hi.

Oh my God, hi. You look good. Thanks. You look great. Yeah, I've just been working out. I just wanted to ask, obviously next week it's Valentine's Day and I'm single, you're single.

Kind of feel like it would be quite fun to do something. Will you be my Valentine? Loll. Okay, right. Take three. Okay, can I have a girl being the girl? She's got the fan of her. Frustrated actress over the other side of the table.

Okay, roles are reverse. I'm Matthew. Okay. You're Selena. Okay. Yo. Hey Matthew. What's up?

Will you be my round time? Yeah, bro. That sounds sweet, man. Sweet, should we make out? What's the date again? Oh, shit. 14th of February I'll pick a table and text you. Bye.

I have been single for a while and now I am over my past long-term relationship. I started using dating apps. I went on a date with this one girl who brought up his ex on the first date. Red flag. The jealous part of me thought it was a red flag because I don't want to be talking about exes, especially on a first date. I want to have a good time and get to know him not that past. My best friend says it's childish to me to have this reaction

because maybe it's me being insecure, but on a first day, I don't want to feel like this guy is thinking about his ex and I'm just there as a distraction. Yeah. How do I learn to date guys short term and long term and be okay with talking about exes? I just don't think they should.

I'm with you. Sometimes you do have to talk about your ex on a first date. I think it's kind of fine to establish when the last relationship was, just so you kind of know where the dates are. I want to date with this guy. Deep diving into the relationships, maybe unnecessary. I think establishing, yeah, my last relationship was like, it was like two years and that we

broke up seven months ago. Yeah. Didn't work out because, you know, we just grew apart. Fine. I think you're sort of establishing a blazing on like how ready they are to like, yeah, date you. Whereas if someone was like, five year relationship, we broke up two weeks ago. Very different. You need to know that information. I'd be like, okay, I'm walking out the door. I feel like I'm learning stuff about Toby's last relationship even now. Yeah. Like that's something that you just.

slowly uncover through the time of being together. It's all good to talk about your ex with your... It's all good to talk about your ex. I mean... He should know that. I think it's also fine to... Yeah, it is... What Melissa said is so fine and that's normal.

It'd be weird if you didn't say my relationship, I was in a four-year relationship or a two-year relationship or one-year relationship. Yeah, and I think it... Then you move over that. You move over it, or it establishes, like, if you're just being really honest with someone, like, I'm not looking... Like, I'm trying to get back into dating to distract myself.

I'm kind of getting away from my last relationship. quite heartbroken. When me and Toby were in a break up, I was quite honest with people about that. I was like, we broke up literally two weeks ago. I'm trying to distract myself. I'm still not really over it, but I want to have some fun.

Yeah. And I'm trying to get back into dating. Do you know what I mean? And then maybe they would be like... But maybe they're just not the right people for you. What happened? What happened? Why did you break up?

I would then be honest and tell them. But like, that's obviously because it's a short-term thing. You're letting the other person know, like, this really isn't going to go anywhere far. I'm heartbroken and that's why we're dating. So sometimes. Sometimes it's good to establish that. And if you're not honest and you're dating someone who, this guy could lie and be like not even bring up the fact you even had an ex-girlfriend, then you'd be annoyed because you'd be like, fuck, I didn't realize you when you broke up two weeks ago.

Now I clearly am the rebound. Yeah, but she, I just, my advice you would be like, just don't date those guys. Like, if you are, if they are the people who are like, Melissa said who are like, I've just broken up, I'm not looking. They're just not the ones for you. You don't want someone who, you're not looking for that. There are plenty of guys who have not just broken up with someone and who are not thinking of their ex. I personally would not, that would put me off. Totally.

I'd be like, you're not the one for me. You clearly shouldn't love your ex. Yeah, I don't like that. I like to ask Jamie about his ex, but if he brought up his ex me, I'd be like, are you okay? Really? And I'm fine if two rings off his ex. No, now I am that I'm married,

but like when we were first dating, if he was like yapping away about his ex, I'd be like, oh, it put me off, I'd get the ick. I'd be like, ugh, bye. Yeah, no, no, because then it seems like you're still in shuff at them. Because you're still in that age stage where you're like, you're not that comfortable. You're like flirty times.

Oh my God, 100%. You want all their attention on you. Like now I'm quite fascinated by his past relationships, but it's very different. Yeah, there becomes a time when you want to learn about it because you want to understand them and you want to understand their past. But I do agree, I think bringing it up on a first date.

I'm not on a first day, though. It's about having fun. I think it's fine if you establish where your ex is, like where that relationship ended and where you're at now. Great. Let's have a little bit of background. Let's talk about your family. Let's talk about your job. Whatever.

Yeah, fine. That's fine. It's a big part of someone's life. It's got to be like, Imagine if he was like, I'm actually divorced and I've got three kids. I mean, you need to know that information. Do you know what I mean? Before you get into the next day.

Damn straight. So I think it's so fine. I think you are a little bit in your own head if they bring up their ex and want to discuss it a tiny bit. That's totally normal. Sometimes it's someone needs to talk to someone about it. But I know someone who recently went on a few dates with the nine of my friend. And she was like, just nonstop talking about the ex. Yeah, I know people who've done that.

I'm fucking annoying. Like, shut up about your ex. And I also was like thinking it's the one in my head. I knew which one it was. And she was like, oh, no, no, it was the one before that. I was like, Jesus Christ. No, it's honestly. I personally think it's so, so weird.

Right, no-go topics on a first day. Talking about how big of a night out you have. I like a bit of family chap, but like, don't yap on about your family who I've never met for so long. I'd be like, okay, mummy's boy. Like parents still together, stepmom, whatever, siblings. But, like, you know when they're like, shouldn't see a face of my dad? I'm like, not really. Or you're like, my nephew, look how cute he is and you're like, I don't know him.

Or dog. Do not show me a photo of your dog I will be out the door within five minutes Unless, unless it's to hand or it's on the background Fine, we get to establish what kind of a dog it is Oh my God, I'll tell you something that's really good on a fast date Personally but my like love language is physical touch Like I can't bear it when like a boy doesn't touch me

I'm like are we just pals then just touch me Somewhere pat my back Have a hand on me at all times I can't bear the distance A tactile person Same And you know what I like When you're walking from maybe one bar to the next, put your arm around me.

Yeah, fair. Even if I don't fancy you, that'll make you fancy it. Yeah, yeah. It's like the moves actually makes such a difference. I think it's like just being overly confident in that respect. Be close. If they don't touch me and it's like end of the day, I literally would be like, even if he was the fittest boy and he was so cool, I'd be like, I do not fancy him. I just couldn't. But they could be like not my type and they give me so much touch. And I'm like, well, kind of fancy him. It's weird, isn't it?

Yeah, tactile's the best thing in the world. I don't really need someone constantly to like hold. the fucking door open for me. That's just, I think, politeness, like girls and boys should do that for each other. But check if I get home all right.

Yeah. I think that's just, like, quite a nice standard thing. Oh, I'd be upset. Can you let me know when you get home, please? Great, too. Like, put me in the car home. Put me in the car home,

make sure I'm in the car home safe because, you know, it's a dangerous lot out there. And then message you in your home. I think that's a lovely little nice touch. And even if they don't want to, like, date you again, just message you and be like,

did you get home, okay? Had a sweet evening. I was lovely. I went on a date with a guy and like he actually was the best date. It was such an amazing. I didn't fancy him, but he was so good. It was so wonderful the day. Like, the drinks were amazing, everything.

He gave, he paid for my taxi. Like, he insisted. That's a real gentleman I like that. Like, he walked me to my taxi. And by the way, I literally went half from him and I was like going out. And he like, put me in the car and he like got cash out on paper. And I was obviously like, you really don't need to do this. But, and then like, text me loads when I got, like, it's so sweet.

And I just remember thinking, like, you aren't the guy for me. But like, you are a one. wonderful person who ever gets, you are. Yeah, you'll be a great catch. Good, good, good manners. Great banners, that's it. Like, oh, I've got the biggest one. If a boy has to be polite to the, the waitresses, the people who work in the restaurant, like, if they are not polite to them, I'm down. Oh, no, that's such a big. If they don't open the door for, like, the woman behind them coming in or the man, like... Basic manners is important. The manners are so important. I can't bear that shit.

I'm cringing just writing this, but I need a... some advice on my situation. My boyfriend and I are doing the long-distance thing, long-distance thing right now, and while that's tough enough, I've been trying to spice things up in, by initiating some steamy conversations, you know, since we're both frustrated

from not actually being able to have sex. But here's the issue. His responses are beyond tragic. No, I can't bear it. I'm over here putting in some serious while crafting these saucy messages to keep things fun and flaty, and what do I get in return?

Nice. Or if he's feeling extra generous, I can't wait to see you. What the fuck? Like what? Is he not into me anymore? Am I suddenly unattractive? Now I'm sorry,

wondering if we're going to lose all the heat in this long distance stretch because he can't muster a little more effort. If he doesn't even set a cheeky photo back, do you know how much work these photos take? No, I'm dying. He sends photos to him and he just goes nice. I'd be really fucking upset.

No, I... By the way, I actually think I've been in this situation. So don't worry. We all have. How do I bring this up without sounding like I'm being demanding? I just wanted a little playful for them. back and forth to keep things hot. Is that unreasonable?

Please help because right now it's feeling like I'm texting brick warm. Fuck save. Honey, you've got to stop. And sometimes people aren't sextors and clearly that's the case here. But that's just beyond annoying. It's really annoying. But I definitely feel like there have been times

in my life that I have sent photos. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've got a similar response. And I've been like... Fucking hell, your photos obviously weren't so soon. I was like, dagger in the heart. Like, I get it. So don't worry.

Sorry, that's just so... It's actually just rude. It's just... Lack of manners. Lack of manners, completely. Like, have some fucking appreciation. I've put on some nice underwear. I've done my makeup.

I've taken hours posing. I've retaken this photo ten times. And all of it is... Yeah, nice. No. What would I do? I would just not... There's nothing you can do in this situation.

You may even communicate. I would stop and see if he's like, where am I? And you'd be like, well, I didn't really get much response. And I didn't really get, you know, the applause that I was, like, expecting. I would be really, like, thinking about big things. I would stop. I would stop.

I'd probably air him for a bit. Like, I would be moody. Oh, here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would not be replying. If someone wrote, if I did a photo and they said nice back, I would just be like, okay, well, I will not speak to you for the rest of the day. I'd be really annoyed.

I would be very annoyed. I'd be really offended. I'm not encouraging you to have an argument. I would just literally stop sending. them. He will come calling back and be expecting them now and he'll be like, well, where are they? When I've ever been sexing somebody I'm very good at it, but I'm

sat in my pajamas with Swat Cream Mom. That's the truth of it. Oh my God, no, it's terrible, isn't it? But they have no idea. I'm sat there with my mum next to me. Reply it. Sorry, I'm thinking of when I was like, you need... This is not current events. Okay, this is current, not current events. I don't think it's really a sexy thing you do with your husband. Maybe you do.

I'm sorry, right? Let's just move on. If Toby and I away from each other, it always happens around Christmas, okay? I'm not... Don't family members listen to this because it's going to ruin Christmas for you. But Christmas, we spend a part and we always are quite... We're good at sending picks.

We make the effort, okay? It keeps the relationship alive. They're really good at it. One year we did a calendar for each other. No, you didn't explain. I'm done. We did a countdown and it got like dirtier and we got like more...

I am! God, do you know what? Melissa really is just like a whole other person. Merry Christmas So what you went there It was Merry Christmas So wait On number one you like

It's the first day of Christmas Your eye No no It was like me in a bar or something Oh so it started The bar was high when he started I had to get creative towards the end of it Did you start this or was did he?

I did I think But Toby's very response He responds is very well to a naked body So wait I need to understand So you're just at home And you're like I'm in there I'm listening to this

I can't remember how it like started as like a thing. It's always gone down quite swimmingly for me, if I'm being honest. I've always had great reaction. I wouldn't like that either for me or him. Like I would just find the whole thing uncomfortable. But if you are into that, that is a really good idea. You could do a birthday countdown. Oh my God, you could.

Three, two, one. Happy birthday. Naked. You could come out the cake. Like Sophie did that one year and dressed a smile and one right. Okay, come on. Give us some more things because I feel like this is definitely more your full. take than it is mine.

I would be the same. Are you dressing up? No. If I didn't have something reciprocated, I would then feel embarrassed and I wouldn't want to do it. I completely understand. And like, I resonate with that.

Even if I give someone a compliment and like, even now if I like give someone a compliment and I like don't get it back, it's like someone's saying I love you and you don't say it back. They're going to be like, yeah. Why didn't you say it back? Like, you think about it, right?

So sending a photo is like quite a big thing to do. You've got to be confident to you. That'll take your clothes off. Like, it's a big deal. So basically you've got to say to them, let's do a countdown. When we let see each other, every day, we'd fucking hell.

I'd be out of the relationship in a day. I'd like, right, I'd rather break up than do this. My therapist was telling me how to, like, sustain a healthy relationship, one of her biggest pieces of advice is, you shouldn't treat your husband or your partner as your best friend. So, like, for example, like, I would call you up and vent about everything.

And she was like, you just shouldn't do that to your husband. Like, you should treat you. them very differently and you should really lean on your girls for that. Can you be more specific? So like, I'll be like, oh my God, I'm so tired. Like, oh my God, I've done this. Oh, I can't be bothered to do that. Or I'll leave a dinner and I'll be like, oh my God, did you see what?

Did you do it? Like, bitching. No, no, no, you shouldn't do that. Like whining. Whining, whining, don't whine. I don't really a whiner. Oh, God, I am. Big time. Big time.

So, like, you know, for example, if, like, Jamie will be like, oh, we've got this party today. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm so tired. Like that. I have heard you say that a million times. Basically, I'm on a, basically, my biggest thing is, I need to stop saying I'm tired. So you know what I'm going to do, guys? I'm saying here, I'm doing a digital detox.

Okay. And I'm getting the fuck off TikTok and Instagram. I love doing TikTok. Obviously I need, I know because we have a streak and it's not broken, yeah. But I saw somewhere that it, like, does something to your dopamine levels, which then can make you, like, crash with tired. So I'm thinking maybe that's what I should do. Okay.

Your whole wedding vows were all based off of the fact that your best friends and blah, blah, blah, and they always say marry your best friend. So that's very contradictory advice from your therapist. I know. She was just like you really have to treat, like you can't treat them like your best friend. Like they obviously are. Like a female best friend. I understand that.

She also, like maybe it is a bit more specific to me. But she was like, look, Jamie is just like, A, he's quite an anxious soul. So he's like very overthinking. things. Right. Be, he's incredibly positive. So, like, he doesn't really understand you when you complain about everything. But, like, in general, she was, like, saying how she just doesn't complain to her husband.

If she has, like, a negative thought to say to husband, she won't say it. If she wants to say, you know, I'm really not feeling well and I feel really tired, that's different. But complaining about it, like, oh, I'm so tired. She just doesn't do it because she's, like, ultimately, you will, with your best friend, you can leave me. And so I'm not draining you. You see what I mean?

Also, it doesn't bother me when you like say you're tired. I just like literally ignore you. But I imagine if we live together all day, it might fucking drain you. So that goes with everything. So when you complain about the sky being grey in England, like if you said it to me, it wouldn't drain me because you're my best friend and then I see, you know what I mean? Yeah. All day every day, I'd be like, Jamie, shodagh.

It's like being negative about everything. God, how can be draining to be about. Really negative, girlie. Sometimes I'll see you and you're being. be like, I honestly feel like shit, I'm so tired and blah, blah, blah. Ten minutes later, you're in the best mood ever, and you've forgotten about the fact that you feel tired. I know, because I don't revel and let you, like,

drone on about the fact you feel tired, because then you forget that you're feeling tired in five minutes. Do you know what I mean? Give me energy, that's why. I will just say, like, some people like to complain. And that's okay. Like, I enjoy it. Cuffly.

Like, I like to debriefing. There's nothing wrong with it. Yeah, that's okay. It's so fun, but I have to just do that to you now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you can't really... Because I get it, because I'm thinking, like, when Toby's in a bad mood or I'm in a bad mood,

like, it kind of puts me in a bit of a bad mood, because I'm, oh, fucking cheer up. Like, life's not that hard. Like, let's have fun today. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But you then, like, feel like you can't really be excited about stuff because they're in such, like, a down-a-mood. So they're sort of like...

No, I'm not in that much of a down-a-meet. No, but I'm saying every now and then, I feel like this happens to everyone. Like, everyone is in a shit mood at some point. Like, that's a given, right? That's just part of human nature. But I understand, like, if you were complaining about something, he's so sensitive to it,

then he's, like, freaking out, what? Oh, why is you being so negative? And, oh, God. I think it's just easy to, like, complain. Like, sometimes I don't even, like, sometimes I want to fill a silence. Oh, I'll complain. Like, oh, my coffee wasn't very nice today.

Like, it'll just slip on out my mouth. Can't wait to complain about that on him when I get home. Exactly. No need, no need. And also, another thing, like, you don't need to give them your inner dialogue. Like, I just, every thought that comes into my mouth, I'll tell Jamie. But I also think that's really healthy. That's really contradictory because you want to be so open and tell.

Because I told that thought that you told me to Toby and Toby's like, God, that's really... Okay, so should I not be telling you every thought that I have? And I was like, oh, I don't know. Oh, my God, no. Okay, maybe it's just a specific, like, it's a thing for it. Maybe. I understand. We have to maybe think about things a little bit. Yeah.

I get it. I also just think it like, you know, it's... It's just a longevity thing. Like, I think that you've got to like just aware of that. Yeah, just to be aware. A hundred percent. Hello, lovelies. This is less of a dilemma and more of an ass for some advice.

My boyfriend is going away on a lad's trip with his friends and it's left me feeling with crippling anxiety. This is already annoying me. Don't go on a lad's trip. Why? No, obviously you're allowed to, but just already, it's already annoying me. I'm trying not to let it consume me, but I'm really nervous at the thought of him,

being away with his friends, and what could happen when I'm not around? Is this something either of you had had to battle against and how does you shake the feeling you're going to be betrayed even when your relationship is a solid one? I don't have an ounce of this. I can't comprehend it.

No, I don't worry. I've never worried about that. Like, if Jamie goes on a stag, whatever, like, I don't. That's the last thing that would come into my head, but I think sometimes there's horrible, like, boys encourage boys, and there's, like, groups of boys that always see on their girlfriends. I do think it's an age thing.

I think I do think it's an age thing. I also think it's just like a culture thing. Like sometimes like there's a group of boys and their culture within their friendship group is to cheat and then it encourages the other ones to do the same thing. It's bizarre. And there's some friendship groups where it's like

that would never even ever be something that they would even like imagine. They would actually be like you're safer with those boys because they would never do anything whilst they're around them the whole time. People can be influenced. People can be influenced particularly when they're under the influence. Exactly.

It's an easy, easy slip up to make. Right. My theory on this is, the more you freak him out, the more you're going to piss him off and push him away, you have to suck it up and be crippled with anxiety for a week. Yeah. And just hope that he comes. I know that's shit advice. But then also, I do think there's also an element of like listening to your gut. If you're convinced that something's going to happen, is that because he's given you a reason not to trust him. Sometimes it is in your head, though. Like our heads can just create this awful narrative. but that is the element of the gut. I think you've really got to sit with yourself and be like,

is this my gut or is this my head? Like, has he given you reason to think that he would ever cheat? Totally. Are those boys' dicks or are they nice? Like, rationalise the thoughts. Where are they going on this lad's holiday? Yeah, if it's like Magliff, like you're, he's a loser. Yeah, it totally depends.

Like, if they're going to have like a nice time with the lads, then that wouldn't actually involve girls anyway. They're off the grease, lovely. Yeah, Malia, you're she did. Yeah, that's like game over, santi, game over. I would personally just be like, have some respect, you've got to go out, and you can't go, is that psycho probably? It's kind of just like what?

It's kind of like a girl doing a similar thing, but I don't think that we can presume that just because they're on a lad's holiday, they're going to cheat because eight times out of 10, I hope they don't. But then it just depends on what the friendship group vibe is. And like, I don't know what your, do you have trust in your boyfriend going on a night out? I personally think if they're going to cheat abroad, they're going to cheat in the UK.

I don't see the difference with the trip abroad. Because I think they seem to think that it's far away, I don't know. That they're not going to, yeah, but if it's in them, it's in them. Listen, if he cheats, you're going to find out. He's on a group, he's on a group holiday with loads of lads. It's going to come out. If he does it, if he cheats, you know, one of the other lads will tell their girlfriend, it will get back to. These things always come out.

So I think, as Sophie said, you can't be like, don't cheat on me. No. No. You have to just suck it up, swallow the anxiety, sit with the feeling, maybe do some somatic breathing. I don't know. Just to show yourself out. Go on some girls' nights when he's away just to distract yourself. Have a lovely, lovely time. Distract, distract, distract. And then assess rationally

the situation as it goes along. And if you feel like actually that that night was fishy, I've got a gut feeling, then you should do some investigation. And then you write into us again and we will tell you how to nail that motherfucker down. Exactly. I have a story when I was cheating. I have a story when I was cheating on and he was abroad and I had a full gut feeling.

Mine was... They were abroad and I was in UK. And I had a full gut feeling. And I woke up in the middle of the night. I said to my mum before I went to bed. I don't feel good about this. I went... I woke up at 2 a.m. in the middle of the night

and I was like, I haven't had to text good night. Yeah, that is always... Women notice one little thing changing and that's why we always know when they're going to propose because they do one little thing... Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, that was weird. And it just goes...

I just think that was weird. Yeah. So when they're cheating, you know everything. I even knew who it was if I then looked them up on Instagram to see if they were at the same venue. And I was like, they are bingo corset. But I didn't think they're cheating and then they had. So follow your gut. But then also, as Sophie said, like, let's have some trust in men before.

We need to be innocent until proven guilty, I think. We can't assume guilty because then that will just... Well, we can if they've given us reason to. If they've given us reason to, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa?

Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well, then, Tynies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now, listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad-free. With bonus episodes, it's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories,

recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our instabio