Wednesdays - 125: I think I’m SH*T in bed?! Ft. Ruby Adler

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

This week we are joined by the lovely Ruby Adler (aka Tiny Tim), as we discuss Made in Chelsea: Corsica and Maya Jama & Stormzy’s reunion. Plus, we discuss rebound relationships, work friends texting at night and a lack of confidence in the bedroom.This week we are drinking Morrisons The Best AlvarinhoRatings Melissa: 4/10Ruby: 6/10-Instagram / TikTok / YouTube: @wednesdayswedrinkwineEmail: [e-mail]-Credits:Podcast Producer & Editor: @kat.milsomAdditional Producer: @jemimarathboneVideographer: @jamierg99Social Media: @emzchampionAssistant Producer: @maiaadelia.docs Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melissa are you a doctor uh I want to be but I'm not I'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists and we're not experts at anything in fact we just chatted all the shit so and we love giving you guys advice but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help this episode is going to be the last one just for a little bit we're having a break we are having a huge rebrand we're going to get like a new set it's going to be very like i'm not actually going to give anything away let's just keep it as a surprise and we did an epic photo shoot um sophie and i really love the photos it's going to be really cool it's gonna be really cool

it's just a new era for the girls you know so we're just gonna clock off for a little bit of time whilst we um sort all that out and then we're gonna come back with a bang and it's gonna be stunning Hey guys. Hey guys. Welcome back. To another podcast. With Timmy the Tim Tim Tim. Oh, thanks for having me back. She's come back and I get to see Sophie tomorrow at...

Georgia's wedding. Georgia's wedding. They've been out there obviously, but I can't wait to go. I'm honestly so excited. We're flying really early in the morning. What time? I love an early flight. I do when I don't because I'm worried about this air traffic control incident

so hopefully we don't wake up at 5am for nothing. That's what I'm hoping for. I hope you don't sit in the airport for ages. At least you're not flying on the day of the wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So flights at 8am. Okay, nice time to travel. Nice time to travel. Day one drinks. Gorgeous, gorgeous. Welcome drinks, welcome drinks.

Day two wedding day three full party yeah four and then and then we fly back at midnight that night what are we doing because Toby's got a job on the Sunday and I'm like oh no oh no would have been nice to have a day of relaxation I just think it's just it's just there's a lot of weddings there's a lot of it's wedding there's a lot of time off and then when you get to the end of it you're like no no we need to get back home yeah we've got work to do the other weddings I've been like oh let's take some extra time off yeah because it's summer

and oh no I can't no when am I when are we going to get home I don't know that's how I do my finger's cold

it's it's it's awfully light it's awfully light oh my god someone else got engaged who who was it

it's getting a bit annoying now it's honestly like another one bites the dust it's honestly becoming a bit annoying also everyone's getting younger and younger and younger. And I'm like, oh my God, I can't. And I'm getting older and older and older. It's really upsetting.

Right. So you have gossip hot off the press about Maya Jammer and Stormzy. Not really, because everyone's obviously been talking about it, but. No, no. Have you seen. But there's been rumors of this for a long, long time. But they are actually on holiday together. But now it's legit.

And they got photographed in Greece together. Holding hands. Did see that. But like, she's been engaged since they broke up she was engaged to Ben Simmons the NBA player oh yeah a lot's happened a lot's happened four years we've had a pandemic the whole universe has rejuvenated itself but it makes me think like looking at them getting back together like it makes me really believe in love because it's just like really it's a really sweet romantic story it is and it is like they were each other's they were each other's like first proper love like yeah she was with him before the fame before he had anything like it's really sweet yeah I remember her doing an interview being like I would go around to his house and like I knew he didn't have any money so I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable

so I would just order the delivery off my phone. It was really sweet. Wait, hold on. So was she a big dog and he wasn't? No, I don't think she was a big dog but he literally had no money. Oh my God, that's gorgeous. I didn't realise that they were that young

when they got together. I think she was like 18. Wow. Yeah. And then they were together for four years then they broke up for four years and now they've got back together so he's she's on her that's why they broke up yeah with georgia smith see right i think that we're just gonna have his back on this one just because i feel like the thing got to him i feel like he's really tried to get her back like oh my god

what was the recent like was it like the tv awards and he this new song he sung and everyone's like it's clearly about my agenda and she was like in the audience and i was like oh my god and he was like fully singing like lyrics being like i'm sorry i love you yeah yeah sweet peas and now he looks so happy and now they're back together and it's just all i've never seen him smile so much on social media i don't follow either of them to be fair she's just bloody stunning stunning stunning every time not this is just so mean i was gonna say like every every time the Love Island girls and I'm like, oh my god,

they're all so pretty and then my jammer walks in and I'm like, oh my god, another leak? Yeah, I know. She's phenomenal. Phenomenal.

And she's got the chat and she's funny. Yeah, she's like, ticks every box. She does. Guys love her as well just because she's just so freaking jokes.

Just a quick update on everyone, i got my nails filed way shorter yeah they look really great went way shorter so like there's not that much like from this side i remember there was so much nailage and i was like things are getting stuck under there it's cleaner more hygienic way more hygienic i also think it looks more like clean girl the shorter nails the clean girl sil, Silky Smooth, Hayley Bieber. I wonder if Hayley Bieber has really long nails. What am I talking about? They look glazed and delicious.

Has anyone tried that new glazed strawberry situation? I haven't, but I actually haven't tried anything from Rode. Desperate to get on the PR list, but I don't think we ever make it to get on Hayley Bieber's PR list. If anyone's watching this that does Rode PR, they'd love a package. Please, send us some of that stuff. I'm desperate. I watched my first episode of Succession last night have you seen it? No

quite serious quite serious you know what really freaked me out though do you remember the kid from Home Alone what's his name? Oh my god yeah Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Macaulay Culkin

Macaulay Culkin so watching it i was like god that guy looks awfully like the home alone but i googled it it's his brother they are honestly identical like the same eyes like this everything is the same it's spooky well they both had they both did hollywood acting yeah yeah yeah um anyway really enjoying it so okay we'll have to tune in i also think it's embarrassing to have not watched it i feel like everyone's watched it and I'm like oh my god it's just like it's always like education at this point like why haven't I watched it and who is it the family that everyone talks about that it's about the Murdoch the Rupert Murdoch that's what it's supposed to be about

that's everyone says the family's about yeah I'm gonna have to watch it and it's based quite closely like things that happen are like exactly what happened to the Murdoch family and it's like annoying it's obviously like people that have made the film have been quite close to the family sorry the series and um I think it's like fat almost factual because it's like stuff that's never been exposed to the press but it's now been put in the tv series and I was like oh my god but apparently it's quite real wine time wine time have you seen this thing? My favourite time. Wine time with Binks and Herodys. Have you seen that?

No. They're like really like taking the piss. It's actually quite mean. Out of you. Yeah. I mean, it's so mean. Quite funny. It was quite funny and now I'm like, it's not funny anymore.

Stop, stop. Right. Stop, stop. So this bottle is probably one of the best bottles I've ever seen. You know what? No one's done bottles like this. Best bottles you've ever seen? That's a bold statement.

No, like the... Oh, the brand. It's very pretty. It's really beautiful. It's what? No one's done bottles like that. Best bottles you've ever seen? That's a bold statement. No, like the... Oh, the brand. It's very pretty. It's really beautiful. It's like a tile. Oh, it's gorgeous. So it's a Portuguese... European summer is what it's giving.

And it's Morrison's Best. Oh. Blended by the best winemakers, apparently. Alvaro Hino. So it's not an Albarino. It's an Alvarino. Because it's Portuguese, not Spanish. Going to take a taste test of it now. Let's have a

sip sip. Cool. I like that. Easy to drink. We need to talk about Made in Chelsea also. Oh my god yeah we do need to talk about Made in Chelsea. So we're currently filming the London series which will air I want to say in October and probably run through till Christmas but what's just aired and been on TV is Corsica yeah that we filmed back um in May and June can you give us some any insight do you know what watching it back I think brilliant television like one of the best series one of the strongest series I think I've ever known you know the strongest series I've ever been on the show sure but I also think one of the strongest series the show's had in a long time a lot of people say it reminds them of like old school Chelsea yeah it was just chaos it was honestly hectic I think watching it back because I was like living and breathing it yeah

it seems a lot softer me watching it but I think it's being in it oh my god guys because being in it like I'm like how have they underplayed it so much but then it's obviously got a really good reception like everyone like has been speaking about it like loads of people I know friends family it was it was a lot it was a lot you know we were in it was great like it was so much fun Corsica's beautiful but you know when you're on these trips for six weeks it feels like you're in your very much in your own bubble and like nothing else seems to really matter at the time. And you kind of slightly lose sense of like reality. It felt kind of lockdown-esque.

Really? We were in Corsica. We were off season. We were in these two villas like high up around the hills. So it's quiet, nothing in the town. Not much going on. You know, initially we didn't have any cars. We were nowhere really to walk to in walking distance.

We were slightly in the middle of nowhere. Eventually we did rent cars and we did have great we did have a great time but it was it was hot it was hard you know you're living in a house with you know six people that you're working with living with doing everything with it's also a fine line because it's like it is work then at the same time it's kind of not it's like so hard to like describe and like like tell yourself like what it is that you're doing I always think I'm like so hard because is it work is it play like you're talking you know it couldn't be any more personal it's your personal yeah it's your personal life it's you're putting you're vocalizing your thoughts your emotions your feelings about some of the things that are

closest to you your relationships your friendships but then you're meant to sort of leave that at the door and then come home after that but you're you're with everyone so I know I know there's no real like boundaries as such but then in some ways when we do these trips I think it forms you solidify such closer friendships yeah because you're all in this together I feel like when you're filming in London you do your scene you come home and then it's like and then that's that whereas you have you have to sort of be closer with each other can you believe we were in Bali a year ago? Nearly. That's immense. That only feels like it was three months ago.

I know. I remember the day we left. I remember the whole thing so clearly. We did have such a laugh. Oh, we had such a laugh. I was talking to Julius about all the donuts we used to eat. And the cookies. I know cinnamon buns and cookies.

Go Jacks. We didn't leave each other's side for six weeks oh no we were really inseparable really inseparable we really were oh it was actually quite fun it reminded me of like oh this sounds so like boarding school it reminds me so so much of like that like just going into your friend's room being like should we do this should we do that like just so fun it was good vibes good vibes okay right Shall we move on to Sweet or Dry? I'm reading the first one and I feel sick. Yeah, me too.

Kissing their mum on the lips as an adult. Grow up. That's dry as fuck. That's dry as fuck. It's like calling your mum mummy as, like, a 40-year-old man. No. I know, I agree. No.

It's along similar lines. It is along similar lines. It's not right mommy when do we think is an appropriate age to stop kissing on the lips of the parents I was thinking about this I think maybe seven and then that's like quite a push but I think seven is like an appropriate age because I think when you get to the age of like 10 11 I'm like I'm in year seven and I'm like you know I'm I'm going through puberty at that point-ish. So I don't think so. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I agree. I think once you become a little bit more of a girl rather than a little girl. Oh my God, that even sounds fucked up in itself. Little girl. No, I hear you. I agree. I think we have to call it a day. Yeah, call it a day for me.

Six plus seven. No, no. And it's not sweet in the slightest I'm trying to think of like have I seen in films where like a mother and daughter goes bye bye

I don't think that's so picky I don't really remember ever really kissing either parent neither do I even as a small child on the lips

I know I do as like a small child I can imagine myself doing it because I watch like toddlers when they're four like bye mummy

bye daddy like that's like so fine yeah of course that's so so what you do yeah of course that's so fine i don't have a memory of it no neither so it must have stopped i don't know yeah i definitely definitely still have kisses on the cheek for my parents oh of course yeah me too but not on the lips no put those lips away put those lips away saying they'll marry you a few weeks into the relationship no red red flag well i mean you could say one day no because i've had it before where someone dated me and they're like i'll fucking marry you a few weeks into the relationship. No, red flag. Well, I mean, you could say one day.

Yes and no. Because I've had it before where someone dated me and they were like, I'll fucking marry you. And I was like, ooh, quite fit. Yeah, maybe quite fit. But I also think, like, we don't know each other. It depends on the severity of, like, how seriously they're saying it, don't you think? If you're really into them, I would be like, yeah, stop it. They'll marry me tomorrow.

I said to Nick very quickly on. I was like. Here it goes. It's all going out. I think. I think. Yeah. But, like, no. Wait, tell me what I said to Nick very quickly on I was like here it goes it's all going out I think yeah but like no wait tell me how you said no I just was like well you know they're fucking around here to be fair you get to a certain age where you're not going to bother wasting your time on someone unless you actually think it's for the long term yeah unless it's end game you know but

I think if you don't know someone that well and they're really dropping like several like wet like hints about marriage I think that I think that is a bit of a red flag yeah because some people can really be love bombed by that you can be love bombed I think it's so true you have to be really careful you gotta stay safe out there I'm trying to think I'm trying to think I don't think with Toby Toby said quite early on I think like a month in he was like I want to be with you forever that okay so that's really romantic and that's really nice and there's no pressure with that. That seems a lot more like, whereas I want to marry you a few weeks in

is a bit like, well, no. Oh, someone said to me they would baby trap me. A few weeks in and I was like, yeah, all right. Sure thing, honey. Still no baby. Anyway, okay. A colleague calling their work husband. I think that's so fine.

Depends on the vibe. So I call Julius my work husband. I would do that if we were filming for Chelsea. And I call you my work wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's so fine. Sweet. Yeah, sweet.

Sweet. Again, depends on the scenario. You know, it's how you say it. It's context. It's context. I think if they're like hubby and and they're calling them that around the office, that's maybe a little bit step too far. But if they're saying it in the third person, like,

oh, he's just my work husband. Oh, yeah, yeah. We have to work together all the time. That's fine. Yeah, I agree. It's just context, isn't it, at the end of the day, guys? Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast,

and the other podcasts you'd like to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out, complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. Okay, Dilemma 1, would you like to read it or should I? Yeah, I'm happy to read it. So, my boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year and very much in love. We met at work and sparks just instantly started between us

the story is very juicy as we met in the army oh my god this is so exciting oh sweet it honestly felt like i'd known him for years he'd just come out of a seven-year relationship and him and his ex got together when they were 15 so she's the only person he'd slept with beside me my dilemma is that i've been single up until meeting him and felt like i've lived my single life to the fullest so i don't need to be with anyone else because of this before we were official I said to him that I was scared he would want to experience the single life later on and he said that a small part of him wanted to but he says it will never happen as he sees me as his soulmate that's really sweet I love the word soulmate me too I don't think anyone's ever said that to me which is really upsetting I've never

been told that by any boyfriend previous partner neither no one's ever said you're my current boyfriend no my current boyfriend's never said to me you're my soulmate either heart-wrenching do I bring up this topic again for closure of my anxiety-ridden mind and risk him and risk hurting him or do I just ignore it and tell myself that I'm being silly we honestly have a great relationship he's my best friend but I can't help but feel like I've taken his freedom away from him no I think you're being silly I think he loves you and I don't think that single life is just not what it's cracked up to be the grass isn't always greener no it's not but I get I get where she's coming from and I get the mindset and I get that you know there's that kind of weird guilt even though like no one's forcing him to

be with her like obviously he's forcing him to be with her like obviously he's with her because he loves her they obviously have a great relationship as she stated but there's that whole feeling of like he's not done what I've done I've done the years I've had it tick tick tick is he going to suddenly want in three years time to try that out whether the grass is greener or not he's not experienced it I have I know that I want to be with him and not a matter of him not loving her not wanting to be with him but it's like you have to kind of have that I think this is only my opinion but I feel like you kind of have to have those few years or even not even years a few at least months few months of being on your own knowing who you are and, and having fun. Getting your own identity. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, having fun. I agree, but then I think when you have undeniable chemistry with someone you think is your soulmate, that's never going to be replicated properly ever again. I agree. And you're not really going to get that in your single life. You're going to have, like, what, a couple, like, soulless one-night stands

that just leave you feeling a little bit empty and, like... Shit. Yeah, I just don't think it's a vibe. I agree, it's not a vibe. But I so agree with your coming from. I think I wouldn't necessarily bring it up again unless you really feel like you're sensing that he's wanting that.

Or like he's. Because to me, like he's saying these things to you, I wouldn't push it. I would just accept that you're like having a wonderful time with him. Show him a good time. Show him a good time. Show him a good time.

No, I agree. I think I wouldn't keep bringing it up because I also think he might then start putting doors in his head. But if she'd feel like he's like pushing away from you or you feel like something's off, then I'd bring it up. But for now, just enjoy your relationship. I so agree. I so agree.

If it's not broken, don't try and fix it. Is that the right word? Mm-hmm. Okay, dilemma C. So my boyfriend of nearly six years started a new job and became extremely close to this other girl. No, no, no, no, no, no. Shit, shit, shit. At night? She was texting him at night, getting Lyfts into work with him and getting Lyfts home.

Nope, nope. No! No! No! Well, it depends. No, not at night, not at night. No, no, don't message him at night. You don't need to text him at night i so agree

why at night i did a little research on her to see to see she also had a boyfriend so i felt a bit of relief and just thought i was overreacting i randomly asked him one day about her and her boyfriend and he told me she had no boyfriend and he recently broke up it's getting worse it's getting worse it's getting worse like holding on i obviously felt very insecure because the texting kept getting worse okay right i'm not okay with this i'm not okay i tried to confront him about them always texting each other and he grabbed his phone and instantly removed her as a friend screams i started bawling my eyes out because i instantly thought he was cheating a few days later i randomly got a message from her boyfriend asking if i found their relationship weird dot dot

dot turns out she lied about her boyfriend and her breaking up long story short my boyfriend told this girl he can't talk to her anymore because i wasn't comfortable with it with it after begging him not to tell her in case she thought i was a controlling girlfriend no this is fucked up already in itself i don't know what to do should i forgive him and believe that he did no wrong or should i can reconsider the relationship this is smelling yeah i am really smelling a fucking rat this is not right this is not right this is not right from the start from word three in this whole dilemma I you know there is having of course you're gonna have friends from the opposite sex at work in your social life it's healthy I believe but there are boundaries there are boundaries then texting at

night no you work a nine to five with me that's why we call it a day that's how we call it a day i clock off at five relationship ends yeah very much so like you know the occasional text about something work related in the evening i can let that sure continuous you know i can you know keeping it to the root cause which is why i so agree i so agree this is fucked up he's having an affair he's having an affair i'm just gonna put it out there even if it's not physical it's emotional yeah they're feeling a certain type of way about each other for her to then lie that she broke up with her ex-boyfriend that's weird in itself i agree why the lie why lying the lying i smelling around i think that unfortunately things like this just do fucking happen they do

and i think that you deserve better and just do fucking happen they do and i think that you deserve better and this is messed up i also think you'll got you'll know you know you know you've written this into us you really know speak to your friends about it don't keep it in i know it's like hard but um i would speak to your friends about it and to be honest i don't think you're ever going to be okay with him going to the office you're going to have anxiety every day yeah you shouldn't be feeling like that you should be so at ease and comfortable there has been a few occasions where I have felt uneasy about my relationship Tim has previous too like we all do absolutely but it's never been to the point where

like I'm daily anxious about about him like going off to work and stuff like that and Toby has to go and like film fit girls like naked all the time i'm not naked that's so crazy but like you know and like gym kit and like bikinis like you know and he has to like model next to fit girls like and i feel so secure yeah which is how you should feel because he makes me feel secure and it's just not something i ever worry about so the fact that he's going into an office every day and you're having this anxiety and there's a girl messaging him and i know no no no i think this is i think this is crossing the line I would actually go as far

as saying it's emotionally cheating you deserve more you do deserve more I would have okay right so what's she going to do now we need to give her advice

I would honestly this is very dramatic but I'd leave him I should let him what pack up a bag pack your bags and go pack your bags and go no I think that you should probably have a conversation be

like look this makes me feel uncomfortable i am going to leave because this is how i'm feeling if um there's really nothing going on you would have let me see your phone you took the phone deleted the messages which which tells me that there's something on that you don't want me to see which is not how it should be um and i'm gonna leave and then see how much because sometimes boys fuck up sometimes people fuck up make mistakes and if you want to be in the relationships you have you have to see how much he grovels but if it was me i would leave him if it was me because i would be like you've cheated on me i think once the trust is broken it's very hard to regain trust when it's breaking I so agree good luck alright don't have a three

that's pissed me off she's fuming that's really pissed me off I clock off at five don't contact me yeah I so agree

he's taken the phone he's deleted the messages she's lied about having a boyfriend breaking up that she's broken up with there's too deleted the messages. She's lied about having a boyfriend breaking up, that she's broken up with. There's too many components going on.

It's not like there's one thing, there's like four. It's fishy. It's fishy. It's fishy. I don't think there's any going back from this if I'm being completely honest with you.

You deserve way better. You sound like a lovely girl. Fuck that, you're not a controlling girl. This is fucked up because it's making you feel like you are controlling and you're not.

Yeah. You're not. You're not. Right, dilemma three. So I got the heart rate variability up tim yeah yeah stress that dilemma three i've been messaging a boy recently that i quite like the only oh exciting the only problem is that i haven't slept with someone in a while and not that many people in my life so i think i'm being a total shit so I think that I have a total shit shag no never put that stuff out no no you are not you are not a shit shag you are the best shag of your life yeah yeah you have to tell yourself that best shag of anyone else's life you mean of anyone else's life yeah yeah

people should be honored to speak with you yes have you seen that tiktok it's an honor to be with me oh my god no I have you should tell yourself yeah yeah it makes me so scared to meet up it makes me so scared to meet up with not only this boy but other boys as well because they all seem so experienced and i don't want them to think i'm terrible oh my god stop no the self-esteem needs to be risen yeah yeah yeah i also think if you just just keep putting stuff out into the universe you're a phenomenal sh But it's also not just about like... It's so much more than that. It's about the connection and then that's what makes it good, I think.

I completely agree. My friends are also so experienced. What does experienced really mean? And when they chat about it, it makes me even more nervous as I clearly don't know what I'm doing. Oh, no, you sleepy. I'm only turning 19 and I know it comes with time. Oh my God, you're a baby.

Oh my God. I know it only comes with time time but it makes me feel so insecure I think it's also feeling insecure about my body as well that stops me from getting romantically involved with anyone please give me some advice it's needed I so get it from the security angle because that affects anything

like when I had the skin thing I didn't even want to be around Toby because I was like I feel insecure about myself and then I like hated him and I was like no I can't even be around you no but so I understand by by having like an insecurity or then like I'd rather just not go there with boys because it's like you don't feel confident enough to which I so I can understand but we have to move past this hurdle because you're gonna look amazing and you're gonna be a great jack I think your confidence is so many different things it's complicated it is complicated but I think there's things you can do yeah that make you feel better about yourself like even like

the little things and like how you live your life yeah like I think she needs to stop worrying about what other people think about these boys and what her friends are doing and focus on her so young I mean I really wouldn't put pressure on yourself and also just because you're're speaking to someone, you know, it doesn't need to be sex. Like go meet up with him, have a drink with him. Yeah, you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. You're putting a lot of pressure on it. Like let's just, you might not even like him. You might, you know.

So true. You've got to gauge the vibe and don't think because I'm talking to him, he's going to expect this or I need to do this. Go and don't think about that. Go and have fun with him. Enjoy his time enjoy your time with each other and see where it goes that's a lovely piece of advice I also think I'm just going to clock back to the holiday just as a bit of a reference do you remember when she's just so beautiful and she's just in the cottage and Jude Laws sawns in all drunk and she's like I'm

not very good at sex and he's like no I bet you're great she's like no I'm not very good and they shag and he's like best best shag of my life. So I think a lot of people think they're bad. I know this is just going back to a movie, but like a lot of people think that they're bad and actually they're phenomenal, you know? And it's all about the connection that you have with someone.

Yeah, I completely agree. Totally. Like you could have someone that's technically really good in bed, but you've got no connection with them. So you're like, ooh, no. Yeah. And you could have someone that's like technically really average but then you have such an incredible

connection with them it's like the best sex of your life yeah I think you just have to stop putting so much pressure on yourself you know it's it's a human act it's not it's not like you have to be like good at high jump you know you don't like get a medal for it do I mean yeah it's not like a point scoring system exactly that's what I mean medal for it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like a point scoring system. Exactly. That's what I mean. That's what I mean. That's what I mean. And also, I think if you do start dating someone and you're in a relationship with them, you'll

slowly, like, just naturally become more comfortable and, I guess, gain more experience. Yeah. By being in a relationship. Exactly. And the more comfortable you are with someone, the more you... Explore? Explore. I'm trying really hard not to be crass.

No, same. It's a family-friendly podcast. I know. Have a couple drinks. Not that I'm encouraging that, but at least, you know? At least. Well, good luck, sis. Good luck.

You'll be great. You'll be fine. Tiny, whiny messages. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, I'm reading it.. Oh my God. Oh my God. No, I'm reading it. Oh my God. It makes me feel emotional.

Shit. Why? She did it, Tim. Did I fuck it up? Did I give the wrong advice? I haven't read it yet. Should I read it? I had a dream about my ex last night.

The one that I broke up with. That I was still with him and I had to break up with him again in my dream. And it was awful. Awful. It was awful. And he was like not listening to me and I was like oh my god right okay I am okay right maybe we should give some context so this is from a few weeks ago we had a dilemma I believe um of a girl that had been in a relationship and she was like do I leave it's such a great relationship like um nothing's wrong in the relationship but obviously she wasn't in the relationship feeling the feels nothing was right necessarily but nothing was wrong like no arguments just kind of plain sailing and I was like get out of there honey okay right I'm following

up from your advice the other week why I've been with my boyfriend for five years and thought about being single well i did it i'm now officially single it hurts so much as i adore him and love him but i just started feeling that i began a future with him with these doubts i would begin to resent him um which is the last thing i wanted to do very true my situation sounded similar to yours vanessa but during the relationship i would have wave of doubts and waves of absolutely loving him so much and thinking I would marry him. There is still so much love for him and I'm finding it hard at the moment, so keeping myself busy with my family and friends. I am having faith that what is meant to be will be, and if we are meant to be together, it will happen at a later date. Yeah, very true. I just know this

is the right thing in my gut there you go it's in the gut it's like telling you god the gut whilst I'm definitely not over the relationship I'm excited to enjoy being single for a bit work on myself without clouded judgment and hopefully getting back to the date on the dating scene however I have not been single since I was 17 as I jumped from my previous relationship pretty quickly to this one don't worry I did that too same any tips on how to get back out there I only have one single friend who puts herself out there so need advice who never puts herself out there who never puts herself out there so need advice I don't really like the thought of

dating apps um but also have no idea where I would even meet people at all thank you for your honesty and advice too it really pushed me into making this step and I am so proud of this for myself so much love to you both oh my god wow oh i'm really happy that that was the right advice i was so worried you're gonna be like i followed your advice and i fucking regret it well no so i'm really pleased that you're enjoying it okay putting yourself out there it will good for her well done it will come naturally i think but um it sounds like you built, you're building up like a lot of confidence and you're building up like this like identity of yourself, you know? And I'm such a believer in that.

I know it sounds a bit like wishy-washy and deep and voodoo, but I think it's so real. I think the fact she's so at peace with her decision and she's so confident about it, she'll find like inner strength to like put herself out there naturally. Yeah. And I also think that energy, when you put that energy out, it just comes back to you oh my god yeah it does I'm really excited I'm really excited for such an exciting time of life I feel like right now it's like very much there is quite a lot of like times of change like people are like there's a lot of change in the in the air yeah there is a lot of change in the air like we're going into winter so you mean yeah what else I know like a lot of makeup in the air. Like, we're going into winter. Is that what you mean? Yeah.

What else? I don't know. Like, there's a lot of make-ups, break-ups. People are starting new jobs. People are breaking up with boyfriends. People are moving. People are getting engaged. Engaged. There's a lot of break-ups in the moon.

Yeah. What is that about? I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, I am... In terms of getting yourself out there, I think get yourself into, like, a really, really epic routine. I found, like, getting myself into, into like the best wellness routine was something that just

made me feel really like clean and like healthy and good about myself. So I had like, I did lots of lovely walks. I did lots of things, loads of things with friends. You have to keep yourself busy. I had a really good routine with going to like the gym and Pilates and stuff, which just made me feel really like at peace. And like it made me feel good about myself because I was like, okay, I look better. I feel good.

And then just going out on like the occasional nights out. Like you meet people through friends. And like it will just happen. A lot of friends. I think it's so nice to meet people organically. Not shutting down the dating app. Yeah. I know also loads of friends that have met people through apps.

I know loads of people. My sister and her fiance met through a dating app. But I do think it's also nice to meet people through friends too. And I think that a lot of people do. And being set up through mutual friends is quite fun. Because then you know that they can kind of like just, what's the word? They can like kind of vouch for that person. Yeah, they're not like a bad person or whatever.

But I also think don't be ashamed of going on a date if there's nothing to be ashamed of. No, there's nothing wrong with that. I would maybe, I would, if I was single now, I don't think I would be against the idea of going on a date there's nothing wrong I would maybe I would if I was single now I don't think I would be against the idea of going on a dating app me neither I think I would do it and I would just get on some dates just to sort of put the feeders out there just window shopping for a bit exactly I mean I have a look at what's out there gain yourself some really good experience from dating yeah and like use it as like okay this is just like gonna be some education yeah for a little bit just gonna go on some random dates for a few months see how it goes and then

you know what now i'm ready i'm gonna nail this first date like i rate myself on a first date you know yeah i'm gonna be the great first date yeah yeah right that was it then excellent advice from us i think that's one of the best pieces of advice i've ever given actually to be around this podcast should call it a day there then oh we need to rate the wine i wasn't overly fussed about it excellent advice from us I think that's one of the best pieces of advice I've ever given actually to people on this podcast should call it a day there then oh we need to rate the wine I wasn't overly fussed about it

I'm going to maybe rate it a four I'm going to give it a six it was alright it was alright okay bye guys

love you so much thank you so much for coming on to me thank you so much for having me bye bye Bye. Bye. Bye. in the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin

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Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you.

We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of Dilemma follow ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favorite app. How cool is that? Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.