Wednesdays - 127. The Australia Effect Is REAL ft. Ruby Adler

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

Heyyyy Tinies!!Ruby Adler (aka Tim) is BACK in the studio and we’re finally getting the full debrief on her brand new era Down Under!From the biggest misconceptions Aussies have about Brits (apparently we all sound like we’re in Bridgerton?!) to the chaos of starting completely fresh on the other side of the world, Ruby spills everything about her new life in Australia.She answers your juiciest questions: how she met her new boyfriend, what REALLY happened with Miles Nazaire, and whether the “Australia effect” is actually real.And of course, the dilemmas are delivering: one Tiny is spiralling because her friend is in love with a married man!? Another Tiny needs advice because her relationship has completely dried up and she doesn’t know whether to fix it… or walk away.Enjoy the episode x Got a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail] | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]:Executive Producer: Ewan Newbigging-ListerProducer: Magda Cassidy & Helen BurkeAssistant Producer: Issy Weeks-HankinsVideo: Lizzie McCarthySocial: Anthony Barter & Amber Hourigan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, welcome back to another episode. Ruby is joining us again for another episode. Welcome, Ruby. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I talk all about Australia and answer some listeners questions. And we've also got the normal dilemmas. And if I could just ask you one favour,

please subscribe to our YouTube channel at Wednesday's podcast. Enjoy. Guys, welcome back to another episode. We've got Timmy here again for round two. Let's just brief about life at the moon. and what you're doing, where you're going, where you're at? Life is really good at the moment. I feel like it's changed quite rapidly over the last...

I've been in Sydney for the last few months. Yeah. And it's great. If you've not been to Australia, guys, I have fallen in love with Australia. It's like the best place ever. And I'm building a life there with my partner, which is really exciting and he's amazing.

I miss my friends. I miss my family. And I'm lucky enough to, you know, I come back to London a lot and get my fix. And go back and forth. Yeah, I go back and forth really. I need to go out and visit. You've had quite a nice amount of friends visit you already.

I've had a really nice couple of friends come out. Tia came out, Isabella came out, my parents are coming out in March. God, that's been so nice. They're going to come for two weeks. They're coming for a month. Coming for the month in March. Yeah. And we're going to do a bit of like travelling in that month.

So we're going to do like Qualia, which is a part of Australia. I've never been to which looks unreal. We're going to go up to Brisbane and like my parents are going to meet Gavin's mom. Oh my God, sweet. I know. And then we're going to go to New Zealand because my dad's sister lives in New Zealand along with my cousins.

So we've got quite a big, like, trip in that month. And, yeah, I can't wait for them to just, like, spend some time with, like, me and my boyfriend. Right. I have a question about Australia. Yeah.

You haven't seen any spiders. Oh, my God. No, I haven't. But I tell you what I do see a lot of, and they freak me the F out are cockroaches. Oh! We obviously have our apartment, like, sprayed. I don't know what you call it.

pest control. Pest controlled. But in the heat and like in a certain months, like they do just like come up through the floorboards and the drains. And like I have found cockroaches. You just can't prevent them people that are like large. And there was, I was like filming something on YouTube.

And I was just like, what's that buzzing noise? And I looked to my left and it was like a flying hornet with the wings. It was like this big. Gavin and I called him Freddie. And we were like, we need to find Freddy. And like I shut that room and was like, I can't go back in. And like, Freddy's going to find me.

And like, I'm just can. with Freddy and then he went away for work and he kept texting me going how's he and Freddy? I'm like no someone needs to stop because I'm not good with the animals. Wait so how did you get rid of him? So I kept the window open all day and then like chanced it and he had gone. Also like I don't know if you've seen all the shark attacks recently. I have to him in Australia and I haven't said anything to you but I have been concerned mate I used to get in that water dip dip swim no longer like can't they put I'm like why can't they just put this huge metal I do. Shark nets. Shark Beach is protected with a net. Yeah. Somehow they got through. Oh shit. Yeah. It's called Shark Beach. And then like three shark attacks happened in like... I did keep seeing things coming in line. In like 72 hours, which I think is really unheard of. Because as much as they do live in Australia, you kind of know where to swim in like a distance and you just don't like go into the middle of the ocean. Like typically you're fine if you're fairly shallow. Yeah. But actually looking at the stats recently, I don't think you are.

It is so scary. I was going to say we're kind of going into their territory so they're probably pissed off. But that's their home. That's where they live. Humans back in the day would have to wash in the sea. So we all have to share it. Fair. I'm like the ocean's kind of like free rain.

It is where I live. We're just like facing the harbour, which is where there's like real shark territory. Like you wouldn't swim in the harbour. Like you're safer in the sea than you are in the harbour because of the bull sharks. That's their domain. Oh my God. I would be so scared. And our apartment like overlooks the harbour.

And whenever I look over, I sometimes occasionally see someone like swimming. And I'm like, no, I'm like, get out the water. Like, what's wrong with you? What is wrong with you? I don't know. I genuinely like used to have fear of even having sharks in a pool. Same. After watching that one James Bond where they all came out of the vents in the side.

Oh my God, terrified. And now I just, I won't go in any sea that's like not completely crystal clear and I can see the bottom. I won't do it. And meok, I won't do it. They're not sharks in New Yorker, Tim. There is. There's great white sharks. some milker, but obviously in the deep in the deeper bit.

Really? Yeah. And so they're just in like, what about South of France? It's too hot for them, I don't know. But then I would think that Australia is pretty hot. Australia's just been ranked the hottest place on earth. But also it's so funny because in Australia everyone thinks they're like, oh, you're from London. They're like, oh my God, does it snow all the time? Do they also think that you've met the queen?

They think I've met the queen and they also think I drink tea all day and they think that I, they think I speak so, so posh. And I'm like, no, I hate that word. But also... I hate that word. People, but you're so posh. I'm like, oh. I know.

But they think I live in London and it just snows. And I'm like it doesn't. They were like, oh, I'm so jealous of going back to London Christmas, white, white Christmas. I'm like... Also, it doesn't... You've really got your voice past there. It doesn't snow. It will rain, but it won't...

Oh no, I think we had snowed this Christmas. No, to be fair. I then laughed at everyone that said that and came back and it snowed. My friends that went to Australia over Christmas, they're still in their like jet lag, but they're like using it as their new routine. So they go to bed at nine and they wake up at five and she's like, it's amazing because they've got like three hours before work. That's, okay, if you can do that, that's pretty good.

I'm just like housework. I love it. It's pretty much what I do in Australia. Like I do, I'm in bed at like half nine and I'm up at six. Oh my God. See, my long ways off at eight and I'm like, I could sleep until 11, but I'm not going to. But on the weekend, like we struggled to sleep in par seven.

I don't know what's wrong with us. I never used to be like that. Yeah, but we go to bed really early. I go to bed early. That's, you're getting enough sleep then. Yeah, I am. get an owing? Okay, I really want to get one. I really, really want to get one. I also think they look cool. Okay, so a lot of people think they look awful and I'm like, oh, and they think

whoops look awful. I'm like, it's not meant to look like jewelry. It's meant to be a whoop. It's, I wouldn't get one. I'm like not getting it for fashion purposes, so I don't give a fuck if it looks like not. My issue with the oaring is if I don't have a good night's sleep, I'll then worried that I might then obsess over the fact of my stats and be like, oh my God, maybe I do feel really tired actually because I didn't sleep well last night. And then I'll tell myself I'm really tired, or does it not work like that? I have the opposite. But the aura ring will go, right, your body's in really good place today. Push yourself hard.

Wow. So I know I can really like give it my own Pilates, whereas like actually this morning I think I was just just a bit exhausted from yesterday. It was like you need to have a little bit more recovery today. So don't push as hard. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, that's just nice to know. Yeah, I agree. And it reads your body.

It tells you like what's happening. And I'm fascinated by what I would like to get an aura ring. I think it's good. I think knowledge is power. I agree. Knowledge is power. The problem I've got now with this oaring situation is I don't want to put anything on the engagement hand because it looks so pretty. It's so clean. But then the oaring fitted on this finger so now what do I do?

It doesn't fit on this one. That hand lars look nice actually. All look really clean. You know I'm having all my tattoos removed. I've seen this and I'm a bit upset. I know you message me. Also the Timmy sign, Ruby got a tip. No, that's not going.

That's not going. I'm not doing all of them. I'm removing 80%. I'm not ringing. Okay, right. So tell me through what you're getting rid of, not the flames. Yeah, you are getting rid of flames. I just got to a point.

Like, I love my tats. But saying that, like, okay, you've just got engaged. Your hand looks so beautiful and clean. I have a red number nine and an alien on my engagement finger. I don't want that at the school pickup. Oh. And I also don't want, like, a flame. So those are going.

This hand will be clean. There'll be nothing. I'm on three sessions. I've noticed that they're fainter. They are. And then on this hand, I'm like, those three on the fingers, like, just go. Can you make sure you have enough photos of them for you let them go? Yeah, I will.

But, like, everything will kind of be, like, knuckle down. Isn't it like? The most painful thing you'll ever experience. I need tattoo removal. 14 sessions for them to fully be gone. It will take over a year. It's a big process. They're burning a layer of your skin.

I had a tattoo removed on that finger. Yes, but yours completely went. But yours was fairly faint to begin with. I had this stupid heart on my finger. Oh my God, I remember. On the inside there that I had a boyfriend when I was about 17, 16. That's worse things you could do. Stupid, stupid girl.

When you get them removed, because I have so many on so many fingers, there's 13. And you walk out, my fingers are so swollen. And I can't move my hands for like 24 hours And then I can't hot like getting in the shower Because it's like burning So she's basically I'm meant to keep them dry For like 48 hours which is really hard How does one do that when it's on your hands?

I get in the bath So you like like Like that Oh And then like But then you don't realise how much you actually do use your hands Because you're like Your hands are out

I know I kind of like It's like a mission I kind of smell for 24 hours I was going to can't you like shower Right before you go Yeah that's what I did last time. And then wait. But it's just like, it's just painful. But then it's okay. Are you allowed to get in the sun after it as well? No, no saunas, no hot, like really hot water, no sun. Right, you're in a

cold country. I thought I'm in Australia. So these are the questions from the tinies about like Australia, specifically with you. How are you loving Australia? Oh, I am loving Australia. Do you know what? I went to Australia for the first time in 2023 to film Maiden Chelsea. I've never been before and I had the best time ever. I loved it. I fell in love with Sydney, the food, the atmosphere, the people, the culture, the lifestyle. I, like, I loved it. I remember you saying I could live there when you came back from that Sydney trip. And I remember, you can't do that. It's way too far away. I used to be really quite excited on all the MIC trips to come home. Like I would always be like quite excited to get back home. And I remember when I did MIC Sydney, I really didn't want to

leave. I wasn't quite ready to come back. How funny this does a line like that? And I just remember thinking, like, I just wasn't here long enough and there's so much I want to do and see and like, I had the best time and I don't want to go home. And like, fast forward, what, however long, later, I'm now there and I love it. She loves it. I love it. Nice question. How did you meet your boyfriend and end up moving to Australia? So I actually met my boyfriend 10 years ago on holiday in Micnos, which is so random. Gavin was staying in the same hotel as us. And I didn't want to see really think, you know, when you just end up aimlessly speaking to the same people you're sitting at the pool and like see the same people that are staying in the hotel as you?

And we like ended up chatting briefly. Nothing ever happened. We followed each other on like Facebook, this is how long it was. And then over the years he would like send me like the odd message by like he lives in Australia. We actually reconnected when I went to Sydney to film MIC. He was like, oh my God, you're here in Australia. Like, we should have lunch. It was at the back end of my trip, so I'd done literally six weeks. Which is such a shame. And it was such a shame. And I remember him saying, like, oh my God, I wish you'd message. But like, my first thought was not to message the guy I met 10 years ago on holiday in Greece. No, but you've been on his mind. So I have. And then, yeah, just we reconnected last year and it all moved quite quickly.

But I also think you get to a stage in life where you know what you want. You know what you want. and like it's felt very seamless. Like it doesn't feel like there's been pressure or like big grand decisions that have happened. We've just sort of moved at this natural pace that's worked and like we've kind of just like gone with the flow. Also you've had to do that because he lived in Australia so it was like well either I'd just give this a go and start staying there.

There was no aimless dating. We were like, you know, we spent the summer together. We went away. We spent the summer together. And then he asked me to be his girlfriend. Sweetness. So there you go, guys. What was it like moving to a city where you didn't know anyone? Was it lonely?

I think moving abroad at any age is not the easiest. And like, I don't know if lonely is the word because I've got my boyfriend and I've got good people. He's got great circle. And like there are people there that I really like and I get on with. And I've found it challenging at times creating my own social circle because it can be quite overwhelming. But also like very fulfilling when you meet like great friendships that you've like, worked at and you've clicked with and like I'm proud of myself for like for actually just following through with it. Putting an effort. Putting an effort. I'm feeling like before it's like dating. It is like dating.

I've never had to go out, put myself out there and actively make new friends because I've been so lucky enough to have the same friends in my life consistently such a long period of time and they're just my go-to people and we love each other and we know each other and that's been it really. So actually to move abroad and then be like the new person, I've never been the new person. I've never been the new. new person before. It's hard. It's been tough. But I've been putting on these like community events in Sydney because I've wanted to meet people. I think it's really fulfilling watching people connect. And just trying to meet new people. It's definitely challenging yourself. Yeah, it has been challenging. It's getting out of your comfort zone. Yeah. I also think like watching everything life keeps moving back

here and watching everyone go about their life still and like birthday parties, engagement parties, Christmas parties and not being a part of it, you have a moment so you're like, please don't forget about me. I would also be like, not that is that fault, but I'd be annoyed that they were like planning stuff without being, they're like, but wait for me to get back. Yeah, like how bad. It doesn't work like that. God, Toby waited to propose when I got back.

That's what I have to say. You're a part of the plan. Okay, right, would you recommend life in Sydney? Definitely. The food's great, the culture's great, the weather's great, it's safe, it's beautiful, it's outdoorsy, bar of the sea and the shore. sharks. Like, you know, I think it's a really amazing lifestyle. It's a beautiful place to be. gorgeous. I mean, I'm like currently sort of in between London and Australia. I spent like the last

few months in Sydney and I'm actually looking forward to, I'm looking forward to going back. She's only been here a day, guys. And she's like, can't wait to get back. I was excited to put on a winter coat though, I was. The fashion stuff would really make me miss. I love winter fashion. I do. I get a, I love a boot. I like a winter bag. I like a big coat. I know. I love the jeans. Because you can just Put on like a t-shirt and jeans and be like, I look so, my outfit's boring, but then you put a really nice coat on a nice pair of shoes. It dresses it all up, it elevates it, I agree. Like, can't do that in the summer. No, you can't.

It's got it all be in the dress. It's also Sydney's so casual. Like, it's a beach town. Oh my gosh, if you go out for dinner, what are you wearing? I am wearing like a loose fitted, like trouser and like a tank top. My God, sounds so nice. Like, that's what I literally wear. That sounds fucking dreamy.

What about shoes, though? I wear like a sandal. No heels. No, I never wear hills in Sydney, really. These girls in the Girl Coast seem to always get very dressed up. I think that's a different vibe, if I'm honest. I think the Gold Coast, look, I've actually never been, like, looks quite fun, but I think it's just, I think it's, they're different, yeah.

They all look very glam-duff all the time, yeah. Whereas this is more like, chill. Yeah, a bit more chill. Fine. Okay, me and the girls are going to, going on a two-week Australia trip. Any recommendations? Sorry, this is amazing that you managed to get your girlfriends to go on a two-week trip to Australia. Like, I actually am so jealous.

I really want Melissa to come. I'm hoping you come in November. I'm going to. There's no reason why I can't. Okay, so Australia's broad. Like, Australia's a big place. Let's just say it, Sydney. Okay, if they're doing two weeks in Sydney.

I'd love to plan the itinerary. So it depends on what you're wanting to do. You've got to do a few beach days and just, like, not go too far in the sea. Like, beaches I would recommend are Tamarama Beach. Shark Beach, Nelson Park. The fact they call it Shark Beach. It's so weird. But they sell apparel's there, and they've got these places where they don't often do alcohol on the beaches in Sydney.

So at Shark Beach, there's like a kiosk, and they do these apparels on the beach, which is quite fun. Screaming Girls' trip, I would go there. That is screaming girls' trip. Then there's a really nice beach, which Gavin and I love called Camp Cove, which is just beautiful. And it's so nice, and we like, just like, I love that beach. And they've got this amazing famous, like, orange juice bar, and they have all these fresh oranges. And they make it view. It's so nice.

And, like, so, yeah, you've got to do some beach days. And then like, oh my God, the food in Sydney and the coffee is the best, if you're a coffee drinker, it's the best coffee I've ever had in my life. Apparently London coffee is so shit in comparison. Like, honestly, the coffee in Australia, like, I know you and I both get excited for our morning coffee before we go to bed. I think about it when I'm falling asleep at night. So do I. I honestly love it so much. Okay, so food-wise, there's some, like, amazing restaurants.

I literally feel like some of the best meals I've had. Also, like, good value for money, I have to say. Like, I'm not saying it's cheap. at all, but like, London's just so expensive. Yeah. Mimi's, Totties, um, Rawbar, you know, there's Watson's Bay Hotel, which is nice to go for drinks. There's, you know, amazing restaurants and like cocktail places, but like in terms of a night out, I don't think Sydney is your place. Okay, where am I going to go to meet boys? Bondi, Double Bay, Paddington. There's like loads of fun bars like near Bondi Beach.

That's good for shopping. I'd go to Gould Street in Bondi. they've got dish sir you know this Australian brand yeah yeah yeah okay um what's your fitness routine like in Sydney I want to start exercising but I have no idea where to start okay so I you'll know this tip I was never a gym girl didn't work out would do like honestly the old Pilates class it was really hard to get a to a Pilates girl I was never consistent enough ever um I just didn't really really do much exercise if I'm honest and then moving I remember being away over the summer just last year And I just remember thinking like, I just didn't feel that great, confident wise, like in a bikini. And I remember, like, I was just in this new relationship.

And nothing on him. Like, he made me feel amazing. But I just remember being like, I'm not looking after myself. Like, I feel puffy. I've got no definition. I don't feel strong. The only thing I can do, I can do something about this. So why don't I actually just prove this to myself and actually really put this into motion?

So I went to Australia and literally first week I got a PT. and I've been training with him for like four months, five months now. I've been like a month off in December and I have fallen in love with the gym and weight training. And I've honestly feels so good. Like I've noticed changes in my body, but I just love the fact that it structures my day. And I'm like challenging myself and I'm looking after myself and I feel so much stronger. It's also just like crazy how I could just never really. I look back and I'm like, I can't imagine my life now without exercise.

I do think you're surrounding things. help you. Like my boyfriend's so big into fitness. He works out really hard. We have the same trainer. Like we motivate one another. But I also think lifestyle-wise in Australia, people are up. Like, people are up. Like, you walk down the streets at five in the morning and everyone is literally running a marathon. So like, and everyone looks, everyone's in unbelievable shape. So that, like, motivates you as well. Yeah. Yeah. I think consistency is probably the biggest thing. And like, I've been really consistent. Obviously, of weeks where you're just like, oh my God, like, I just really don't want to do this. And I find that those days, I actually often have the best workout when I'm

like, I don't really want to do this. And then I get there and I really push through. Interesting. But I feel good. I feel great from going. You've completely just motivated me to start doing weight training. I also feel like weight training makes you so strong. And like, I had no idea how strong I could be. So good for your bone density. So good for your bone density. I love it. Like I find, I really enjoy it. I love going to the gym. I get excited about it. My mum has been on to me and she's like, your men.

to do weight training before you're 30. I'm like, shit, I've got a year. I found classes, like, quite intimidating as well. Like, when I would do Pilate's classes, like, I never felt like I was great at it. I found it quite nerve-wracking. Like, it gave me a bit of anxiety. That's not what it should be doing for you. No, it wasn't.

And I found it, like, I found the coordination side of it, which sounds pathetic, really hard, like, hard. Like, getting, like, my, like, all the, like, the moves. Whereas I feel like, with weight training, it's very, like, it's just completely different. And I feel like, I'm better at it. I'm going to start doing weight training twice a week. It's amazing. And do you know what?

You'll watch your body transform. Like I feel like I've like leaned up and I'm so much stronger. My butt's grown. Has it? Do they? Yeah, we measured it at the beginning. Sell us how many inches of your gains? A few.

Really? Yeah. I'll show you my bum later. No, it's like, but like it's a process. It takes it like to get the results. It is. Oh my God, it's actually working. It's nothing crazy.

It's nothing crazy. But you have to like, am I doing all this work? And like, nothing's happening really. Nothing crazy. But you have to like keep it up. Like even when like being away in December for a month, like I felt like I lost my bum. Because I wasn't doing anything. But then it comes straight back.

But then it does come back. I remember thinking like, yeah, it's weird how the body changes. But it's great. God, it's amazing how we can transform it as well. We can honestly, yeah. Okay, right. Should we go for a brand new question? You're not going to want to answer this.

What, go on. Why didn't you know Miles back out as a couple? I didn't even know he were. We were never a couple. I think Miles is great, but romantically. He's moved to Dubai. There's also years and years ago. basically neighbours at this point.

Really? Oh, okay, this one's quite sweet. Congrats on the move to Australia. Looks like you're having the best time. Do you have any tips for a girl in her early 30s who feels a bit stuck and needs the courage and confidence to make some big life changes? Oh, that's such a nice question.

Thank you. I think hitting 30 you can often feel like there's a societal pressure of like I should be with someone and I should be further along in my career than I am. And like social media is such smoke and mirrors half the time. And I think you've, to make any big life change, I wouldn't just run from something. And like, you know, you see a lot of people going abroad because they feel like they're not at a point in life. So they're like, oh, I'll just go somewhere else and I'll fill a void. And I don't necessarily think that's the right thing to do. But saying that, I think it's pretty normal to feel that way in your early 30s. You've got to remind yourself, you're still so young. There's so much out there. Like some of the best years of your life hadn't happened yet. You don't know who you're going to meet. What opportunity is going to come your way. But you also have to do the work too. I feel like. going to Australia, like I've had to kind of, it's been a lot of work, like mentally and emotionally, like kind of starting again in some aspects. Like it's not always been like, it looks all great

on Instagram and it is. I'm so happy there. But like it hasn't come like easily. It hasn't just like to put the work in. I'm just like lying on the beach. Like we're building a foundation there together and it's like it's a process. I remember feeling a bit lost in my late 20s and I was like I'm not happy where I'm at but I'm also not doing anything to change it and I was in this revolving door of life. And it's like you have the power basically to change your life. And I think that like you need to figure out what you want from life and then kind of go from there. And even if you don't know, I kind of think like just making sure that everything feels really good and positive and that you are actually, you're like doing yourself every favour. Like sometimes we can be

a bit like me. It can be so hard on ourselves. I also think romanticise the little things in life. Like you can make your own life like really exciting too. Like whether that's your morning coffee, your walk, your weekend plans, like you can make the mundane, like, more fun, do you know what I mean? 100%. They actually say, like, those smaller everyday things. Like, when you can't suddenly do them anymore, which sadly some people do. They always say it's those everyday small joys in life, which, that they miss the most. Yeah. I think any big life-changing decision you make can, will come with nerves. It would be like weird if it wasn't. But you kind of need to trust your gut and you'll always, I feel like internally know kind of what you want to do and what's right and wrong,

but also saying that if you make a decision and you figure out that that's not what you want, that's also okay. There doesn't need to be a huge amount of pressure on, I'm going to make this move, I'm going to take this job opportunity, I'm going to break up with this person, and then like live with that forever. Like, you know, this is all a learning curve for all of us. We're all living for the first time. So do you believe in the Australia effect?

I think I do know. I think it's so circumstantial. though, isn't it? It depends how you're living your life. There's this trend on TikTok it's like the Australia effect and it's like them pre-Australia

and then living in Australia and typically they look so much better after living in Australia but I do think if you're living in the sun and you're looking after your... It's a healer and no one's going out drinking and everyone's healthy and you're going to look fucking great aren't you?

Yeah. It's a really good place for like a revenge. I actually did yeah like a revenge body yeah. Another question? I used to love watching Lux listing

with your boyfriend Gav! Would you want to do reality TV show in Sydney? Oh, that's so nice that you used to watch Lux listings. I honestly, when we did a month apart in August, and I was like packing up to get my stuff together, I watched, I had him on the background and had Lux listings on every night before I went to bed. And so I was like packing so I could like hear his voice. Would I do, I would never close the door on TV, you know, if the right opportunity came about.

I had a great time doing Maiden Chelsea. It was so fun. We would potentially do something. Okay. So we're open-minded. We're open-minded. Okay, we're going to be able to dial-a-lamb this now. Okay, I'm going to go first, dilemma one, ready? Hey, girls, love hearing your Wednesdays, hoping you can help.

My best friend who is 23 has been in a four-year relationship, she admits, is only out of convenience. But over the past year, she's fallen head over heels for a co-worker. He's nine years older, married with three young kids. My gosh. Things between them started as harmless but spiraled fast, year on and they are in constant contact. His wife is even called asking why he's not come home on speakerphone while my friend has been in the car sat next to him. That is fucking horrendous. Her entire life now revolves around him. Even sex with that actual boyfriend, she says she thinks about her colleague.

I feel awful for her boyfriend and especially for her colleague's wife and children. The worst part is she's lost herself. He will never leave his family. She knows it, but she's completely consumed. I'm her only close friend, terrified of hurting her, but I'm also pulling away because I can't hear about him anymore. I don't want to drift apart from her, but I really don't agree with what she's doing. What should I do? Gosh, that's really hard when you, like, so disagree with your friends actions. It's actually really weird. She's not getting anything out of this. I would, oh, I just couldn't condone that if one of my friends was doing that. I'd be, like, really up-air.

You need to really let her know that you think it's fucking wrong and not to speak to you about it actually. Yeah. And actually just... Or don't talk to me about it because I can't... I actually can't get up and be supportive of this. Sometimes you have to have these whole conversations. I think I had to have that with you about one of your exes. I was like, we just can't talk about him because you know how I feel about it.

And you're like, yeah, fair. You didn't even argue me on it. You're like, fair enough. Yeah, I've had a few of those conversations over the years. But like, sometimes you do with a friend. And like, if they're... This is obviously very extreme because she's potentially going to break up a family and children. Like, that's not.

It's just so wrong. So I would sit her down and be like, wait for her next like blow up of like a meltdown about him where she talks about him all the time. And then I would be like, look, hon, we can't talk about this again. Or just be like, I don't want to be a part of it. I don't agree with this. And there's so many guys out there that are great. And this does not seem right. She's a boyfriend.

Her poor boyfriend just sat at home thinking all things down here. There's also like children involved. It's really a toxic scenario. I mean, first thing she needs to break up with her boyfriend because she's the most emotionally cheating. Clearly, not happy with him because she's fantasizing about the old guy at work. So that needs to be the first thing that she sorts out. But as her friend, you can only give her advice and be like, look, clearly things aren't going well in your relationship. Like, I really don't think that you should like drag this hour and, like, hurt him more.

Like, it's actually really mean. Yeah, I agree. And then be like, we can't talk about the other guy because I'm, you're just going to. upset her and then you're right she will just pull away. Yeah, she'll pull away. So I would just be like, we can't talk about it. I love you so much. If something bad happens, I'm here. But for the daily rants and chats about what you're wearing, I can't be involved. Yeah. Which I think is fair enough. I agree. Okay, love you. So dilemma number two. Hey, Melissa and Ruby, great to have you guys back together on the pod. I hope you can help me with my dilemma.

My boyfriend is launching a business and understandably it's consuming him. We're also moving in together next week, which should feel exciting. But I've started to notice that our conversations are almost entirely about his work. Sometimes he even forgets to ask me how my day was. I don't want to be the needy girlfriend or make him feel like I'm not supportive, but I also don't want to ignore that I'm feeling a bit sidelined. How do I communicate that I need emotional presence without dampening his ambition or making him about me versus his career? It's my first time living with any partner and I'm really apprehensive this week because of how much this is consuming him. Any help or advice would be hugely appreciated. I know when I'm really stressed.

and I'm consumed by something, I can't fucking talk to you. And I think if he's trying to like build a business and like ultimately that is, it would hopefully be for like you guys, your future and you know, hopefully that will pay off, he might be really fucking distracted and really fucking stressed for 10 years.

You just don't know. And like you have to tell, ask yourself, do I love this person so much to sacrifice a little bit of like emotional, attention for some time whilst he's doing that because it's consuming him so much and eating him alive but he's trying to be successful i don't know i agree with everything you're saying i would just talk about it try and talk about normal things and get your fix by trying to have a normal conversation

i wouldn't necessarily be like i think you talk about work too much and you're too stressed with work i agree it's almost like distract him at points by not being like not making this into a big thing but trying to maybe at certain moments talk about something else about your days and i'm actually he might have moments where it's quite nice and almost needs to be reminded that there are other things going on. But I agree with everything you've said. This is obviously a huge life change for him. And as his partner, you sort of have to be present and supportive. There are going to be challenging moments.

There's always ebbs and flows. I always say this in relationships where you're going through a harder time, someone else. It's like 80-20. You pick up the other person when they're going through things. Like I've saw that reel on Instagram where it's like battery life on, you know, the couple. Have you seen it? It's like they're 20, the other one's 80, the other one's 30, the other one's 70. Like, and you hold each other up at moments.

Also, like, he's a guy. Like, he's not as emotionally maybe in tune as, like, us. So he's just going to be thinking that you're fine. You can always just be like, do you know ask how my day was? Yeah, you can make it light. Just don't make it like a big thing. Like, I think there's, but you've given explanation and context as to why he's doing this. So I wouldn't worry.

It's like, it's consuming him and it's work. but I wouldn't be like mad at him over it and like fed up with him and like feel like you're getting at the end of your tether unless he's not the guy for you. There's a fine line. You know, he obviously he loves you and you know, you're moving in together

as a huge, you know, next step. I would try and like make some light comments about like, oh by the way, so my day was really good thanks or like, you know, you couldn't do it in a way like you said that's... And you can do fun things and like book a dinner for the two of you

and be like, I've booked us date night because I need some me time with me. And you and like to talk about me. Do you know what I mean? Like, don't and be like, I just need it. Just sit there and listen and like entertain me. Yeah. It's hard.

I do get that. Good luck. But I really think that you'll be worth it for you out anyway. Good luck. Dial number three. Hi guys. Male Tiny here. Oh, I like that.

I'm hoping you might be able to help me with this. My girlfriend has agoraphobia, which means we can't go out on things like dates and walks at the moment. It's nearly a year since we got together and I've tried. to bring everything to her while she's working on improving her situation. Movie nights, spa days, game nights and at-home date nights. What a sweet pee you are. As we've recently started the new year, I was wondering if you both had any ideas on how

I could continue to make things special for her whilst continuing what we already do. No, I can't. But yes, we don't have any photos together due to not being able to go out and do things. But here's one of us together. I'm massively punching. I know I can't cope. Oh my God, they look lovely. Oh, what a lovely couple.

Firstly, you're both absolutely... Gorgeous people. Gorgeous. Don't want to give any identity to it, but love the hair. I love the hair. Yeah, firstly, really like appreciate how hard this is and how wonderful you are. This is like one of the sweetest things

I've genuinely ever heard. Like, what are good, fun things that you can bring to home? What about, like, mafia and stuff like that? That's quite fun. Get some friends around. Do we game night? Like, once a month, one. you have game night at home and all your friends over and you all play traitors.

Yeah. That's like such a fun thing. You could do like a come dine with me. That's also so fun. Like the come around, it doesn't have to be a huge group thing. You can do it like one other couple and then you like make a fun menu and do some cooking and like get creative with dishes and make games night. I don't know.

There's so much you could do at home that can be wholesome and nice that doesn't include like a lot of people. Paint my numbers. Yeah. A puzzle. I always find stuff like that really like. it's like good for like anxiety or stress like pottery, like painting like a mug or like a pot or like making something like out of the ghost movie, you know, and they're like doing all that. Like you could probably get like kits like that and do it at home and like bejazzling things. You know, how have you seen that all over TikTok people like bejazzling like their like skincare products.

It looks quite fun. I'd quite like to do that. I know quite very usually. What happens? You have to throw it away when the skincare's over. That would really upset me. Yeah. I feel like you've honestly done.

probably as much as you can with how like creative you're trying to be with all these different ideas to do at home. And you know what? Like there's not a lot more than that that you can actually do out and about. Like all I ever do is go out for dinner and have a day night and maybe go to the cinema. So you're doing it all from home anyway. I think that you are doing the best job, a really great job. I agree. And there's, I, in my beliefs, there's nothing else that you can do. I think that you're doing everything to the absolute full and you're putting a hundred percent effort. She's lucky to have you. You're making such an effort and, you know. I think that you just carry on. Yeah, and you're lucky to have her. They're lucky to have each other. Yeah, gorgeous couple.

Sending you lots of love. Lots of love. Bye guys. That's the end of the episode. Bye. Bye. Bye. Love you. That's it for this week Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast, ad free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing.

It's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favourite app. How cool is that? Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Instabio.