Wednesdays - 130. Who Is The Best Kisser!? ft Toby Watkins

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

Heyyy Tinies!!This week we welcome back Melissa’s lovely fiancé, Toby Watkins (aka Rick), for the first time since becoming the future Mr and Mrs Watkins!Melissa and Toby are FULLY in the fiancé-moon stage (cuteness). Melissa is deep in spreadsheet mode planning the wedding, while Toby is busy organising the stag do.As they get ready to say “I do”, the pair spill some relationship secrets in a game of Mr & Mrs! They reveal who is the best kisser and who made the first move… 👀 Spoiler alert: Melissa loves a lunge, iykyk.  PLUS, Melissa and Toby weigh in on a very juicy dilemma. This Tiny fell in love with her male best friend and ended up heartbroken…what should her next move be? Enjoy the episode x Discover NIVEA Soft - your go to moisturising essential! Available at Tesco.Got a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail] | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Ewan Newbigging-ListerProducer: Magda Cassidy & Helen BurkeAssistant Producer: Issy Weeks-HankinsVideo: Lizzie McCarthySocial: Anthony Barter & Amber Hourigan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A massive thank you to Neville Lipbaum for sponsoring this week's episode of Wednesdays. Tiny's, how excited are you for summer? I don't know about you, but the second the weather starts changing, the sun's peeking out, it's getting warmer, I just feel better. Everyone's outside, I can walk everywhere, group chats are making actual plans, it's just the best. But as much as I love the changing season, there's one thing I'm consistent about all year round, and that's my lip balm. Whatever the weather's doing, I never leave the house without Nivia lip original care.

It's packed with oils and vitamins. It's the classic formula that keeps lips protected and feeling great all day. For 24-hour moisture with 100% natural ingredients, stick to the original. Stick to Nevia. Hey, tinys. Today's episode, we have Toby joining us on the pod, and we're talking all about wedding planning. And we reveal some relationship secrets in a game of Mr. and Mrs. If you guys could subscribe to our YouTube channel at Wednesday's podcast, that would be grand.

I really like my outfit today. You know what's fantastic. Hi, guys. Welcome back. We've got Toves on the podcast. I'm back. I went to Zara yesterday and I did loads of shopping because I wanted to do a little real of like trying on stuff in the changing room, which is always dangerous because I had the intention of not buying any of it and putting it all back on the shelf. Obviously, I bought some stuff because everything in Zara is so nice. shock. So I have on these new trousers from Zah and these new shoes that look like the row. For those listening

and not watching, they're like a row pump neural slide situation. I can't. The row is just unfathomable. How expensive is. I've never even looked

on their website of how expensive it is. It's nuts. So they look nice. They look fantastic. They look very nice. I need to do a summer shop, a spring shop.

I haven't bought clothes for myself. Spring is springing today. We had lunch outside. We did have lunch outside. You know what's a good sign? I can now just wear a hoodie to the gym in the morning. Toby talks about this all winter.

So it's so nice, right? You walk to the gym and you just go straight in there. No faffing around. Whereas I have to go to the locker. I haven't got also, Dave Lloyd, you have to lock your locker. You have to bring a padlock. Which I never do. Touch wood in my whole year and a half of Dave Lloyd.

I haven't ever had nothing stolen out my locker, but I've never locked it. Toby's also on like this gym transformation. It's not for the wedding, is it? But it's, since you've got engaged, you were like, right, Now, this is my chance. I just noticed that I have neglected my physique. And I used to be quite an active person. And I think when you get older, things, pints are less forgiving.

And so you look at your, you're on the loo and you look down and you're like, that wasn't there before. And I was like, I need to do something about it. No, but you know, and you just like, well, it's, I guess, sometimes like, you're naked. Because when we're in Barbados, without body shaming myself, I just thought I can be in better shape than this. Sure. And also for my own mental well-being and just having a routine in the structure is quite a good thing.

So I decided to work with this PT guy and he's built me a little gym program. Did he give a shout out? Shouts out, Ben Clark, what guy? What's his Instagram handle? I don't know. Oh. But if anyone who's interested, send me a message and that I'll send you Ben's way. But he...

He's been making some phenomenal changes. It's just nice to have someone you're accountable to. So I've actually been going regularly and also not eating bad food. That's what I always used to do is I'd go to the gym and I'd forget to eat protein. Or I couldn't be bothered to eat enough protein. Or you'd like forget to eat. I remember when you used to be like, I've been working so much and you'd like forget to have lunch. And I'd be like.

Yeah. And then I'd have like breakfast, massive gap. Then like lunch and then like an hour later dinner, which isn't good. Yeah, you need five hours ideally they say. So anyway, 2026 is a year of structure and gymming. And it's three weeks in. I can see difference already. It's actually wild how quickly you can see an improvement.

I've noticed, yeah, already like differences, but I think that's mainly from now. I'm getting a lot of like topless pickies being sent my way because he's really chaffed the way is busy. What did I get today? I got one this morning and it was. That was the same one I sent to Matt. You're making me for really unspecial sending it top of his pictures to your freaking business bar. Not just me. things it was like a really raunchy pick.

It was also sent to my best. Yeah, who else? Your mum got it. Family chat. Yeah, family chat. What did I get? It was like, did someone order a stud muffin? Did you?

You look phenomenal. Thanks. We got some work to you. It's the face, Zella. You're really pounding. I honestly was about to give myself a hernia as tensing so hard. Oh, gosh. It worked.

It worked. So I haven't, couldn't since being engaged. be less motivated to go to Pilates, which is weird. Yeah, but you just always look fantastic, so you don't really need. But it is more about, for me, it's about how I feel and I always feel better when I feel a bit more toned and it's better to move because sometimes I'll, like, go all day and I won't have moved at all, which isn't great. So I went yesterday. Do you think you've ever got above your heart rate above like a sprint or a jog?

When was the last time, like, you ran? When you like chase me down the road not long ago. Sometimes we do this like weird thing where we're like one of us will just run and we'll be like chase you get so really strange. If anyone wants to see us doing that. It's so fun. It is quite fun. It's definitely something about like being a child.

Yeah. It's like the funnest thing slash really scary. It is and it's the same as like going up the stairs and thinking that I'm going to like touch your bar from behind. You run upstairs so quickly. That's quite fun too. That is terrifying. Yeah, so that's probably the highest my heart rate's gone.

Also when I buy a nice handbag, it goes, flutter. Yeah, fair that'll do. Yeah, I'm not really a cardio gal. It's also quite nice when you go off a run and I just get like an hour and a half to sort of, you know. Shop.

Well, yeah. Some alone die. Just want to circle back onto the wedding. Mm-hmm. Fiancee. Yeah, Toby loves saying it. I feel like I've missed out on this whole podcast chapter of Ruby got,

you know, it's probably better that Ruby got the, you got the scoop with Ruby than me. Well, I got to tell her what happened, whereas obviously you know. Yeah, that's true. I was there. You, yeah. But yeah, how very exciting. And I thought as a man, and I'm sure many other men have thought this, you propose and that's kind of you done.

Yeah, Toby was like, should we just chill out now? We don't have to plan the wedding now. And then my sister was like, well, you only have like a year in like two months. Like, that's not as long as you think. And we were like, oh. Yeah. So we're fully into wedding. But I was also like, that is what the question is.

The question will you marry me is, yes, we will get married. So it's not just, you don't just stay engaged forever. Yeah, that's true. But there's quite nice being engaged. It is. It feels like young and exciting. Yeah. I also feel like when I see someone with an engagement ring on,

I'm more excited by that than when you see it with a wedding band. I'm like, oh, I know what you mean. I don't know what it is. I think it's because it's the build up towards it. It's so fun. It's at Christmas Eve over Christmas. Much better. It's true.

Well, I hope not for us. Oh, God, yeah. The engagement was so much better than that married life. Oh, God. But I don't think it really makes a difference. I need some people who like married life has help. I'm also like, why? You're right.

You don't want it to change things. No. You want it to keep, you know, some people are oh, be better when we're married or be better when we have kids. You kind of want it to be the same as it is now. It's not a plaster. It's not a plaster. But it's a nice, secure feeling.

You're like, okay, sweet. Like the things we've been talking about are now like set and stone. That's quite nice. That is nice. And also I feel like you can, I don't know, I certainly feel like I can air frustrations more. Yeah, Toby's being way more honest with me now. Not that you weren't honest to me before, but about your thoughts and feelings. I'm a warrior, if anyone hasn't.

He is a warrior. And I feel like I can be more open with my worries now, which is a good thing. What, because I'm trapped in with the ancient ring. She can't live in now. No, but I think it does give you that extra level of security to know that like, hey, it's us versus a problem as opposed to thinking, oh my God, there's a problem. Does that mean? Yeah. You know?

I get that. We actually have booked a venue, which is quite exciting. We have booked a venue. That happened quite quick. It's only been like five weeks and the venue was booked to week. We did a two-day blast of looking at venues. It makes it sound like we looked at loads. We looked at three and the third one was the one.

Yeah, which my sister had like earmarked. It's funny. People say like share your wedding journey, but I was actually just saying to somebody before this, it's really difficult to do that because you're planning a nice day to like host but you don't want to show everyone what you're doing before they get there. Yeah, it's very true.

And they get them and they're like, seen this. I know what she's like. already doing for our flowers and I know what band they're having and I know the venue. I don't know. Yeah, you want it to be a surprise. There's a fine line between like helping, like allowing people to come along for the journey with you without ruining the surprise for the guests. You're right. It is hosting. Like obviously the day is about, so many people advise you to be really selfish about who you want to invite and what you want to do and what you think is right, which obviously ultimately is the,

what you've got to do. But you also, you're also re, you're enter. entertaining people that have entertained you, like a lot of the guests, we've been to their wedding. Yeah. And they've hosted us. So you want it to be about like the guest experience as well as just like what you want. Yes. So it's a balance. Obviously you don't want to be two people pleasy, but you're like, okay, I'm just doing it for the guests. Whereas, but you also want to make sure that everyone has a nice time. You want to consider your guests, but also it's got to be for the couple.

100%. I feel like we're being very, um, because it's quite close to London and it's in the UK. That's already like so easy for people. Which gives me the chance to do an abroad stag. And me in a broad hen. Perfect. Toby wrote his stag list out. He was like, stag.

So I'm going to have this person before we got anywhere near wedding planning. He was like planning his stag. Ages ago when I went to Dublin with my brothers and my dad. And I was walking through the city with my brother. And I was like, oh, I'm so excited. Like when I get to do my stag. And he was like, mate, you're not even engaged yet. Like I wasn't even like, I wasn't even.

Did we know each other then? Yeah, yeah. Well, this was like 20, 24. Oh yeah, yeah. Well, we weren't like near getting engaged. And I was like, oh, stag's going to be class. And he's like, you need to get, you can't just go on a stag. Something that you have to do before you can do that.

But I've been planning the stag for a while. The stag is my wedding. The wedding is my wedding. So we had like a phone call with yesterday with like people that build the stage and like find you the tables that you want to like, all that like that side of things you don't think you have to do but you do. So like where people are going to sit. like what your bars and look like these people like hire all this stuff in right it's just Rick was just quite me on that phone call I will say you know what you likes and what you want and I'm aligned with that so I didn't really have much of an opinion on it well I didn't

think you knew the context as well of like what it was yeah now the more context I get the more opinionated I am yeah this is the danger it's like don't tell them too much because then they pipe up right so when we first got engaged it's like you plan the wedding I don't mind whatever you whatever you want I'm happy and then she was It was like, oh, let's do it in London. I was like, absolutely not. We are not doing it in London. You're not on a London wedding.

Fair. Which works for some people. I just didn't want guests leaving our wedding on the tube. I understand the reasoning behind it. When you explain that to me, I was like, okay, no, I fully understand that. A lot of the weddings we've been to, we've been very fortunate to go to some gorgeous weddings, a lot of them abroad. And although obviously, like, there's a lot of admin involved in travelling abroad, you

have a whole weekend, which is an experience. So, like, you remember the flight was quite a lot. funny what you did in the airport then you had like the day before the wedding where you found a nice local coffee shop or whatever then the wedding right or the night one then the wedding and then like the journey back and you remember each wedding has like a it's like a full pocket of a weekend that we remember them by for our own memories but also for our memories with them yes so I like the idea that now we're not doing it abroad still making it something that people have to get to whatever making it like an experience as opposed to just a night nipping in for like an evening meal

and some speeches and then getting back on the tube home. So it feels like I understand that. That was my thought behind why I didn't want it to be in London. But you know what? There was some serious passion as well behind that statement. Me and my sister were like, I was looking on TikTok like the wedding venues in London found one that was like, this is fucking amazing. Pavel, let's just go view that and book it.

Like I was like done. I have other ideas. And Toby was like, I am not. We're not doing a London money. That is my one request. We are not doing that. And my sister was like, wow, really wasn't expecting you to pipe up at all. I know.

But you know, and you feel like people are, you weren't getting up on me, but you know when you feel like people are talking behind your back about, like, scheming. And I was like, absolutely not. You cannot scheme without me. Well, now we've set it on a really nice venue. Yeah. It's going to be really nice. And we're getting married in a church, which I'm happy telling people.

Yeah, we are, we decided, I think, which is a very good decision, like you want it to have. Some people get married before, like do the actual legal bit before and then get married in the venue. But we wanted to do it all in one go. so we're getting married in them. Which we actually could have done at the venue. There was an opportunity to do the whole thing for me. Oh yeah, but we like the idea being in the... I love it how he's like, oh yeah, but we like the idea as if it's like,

I've told you to say that. Promise guys, I've been PR-trained. Completely collaborative. Yeah, we really squeezing your leg and we really wanted to get married and shut. We've had a lovely like few experiences with weddings and churches. And I've always really enjoyed how serious. they feel and how the importance of a marriage and you know that's really what it's all about like it's a serious thing at the end of the day so I had always envisioned that for myself having been to

those weddings and feeling like wow okay this is like a proper yeah commitment yeah which is yeah and I think also the other thing because we're not getting married in our parish or our home parish we have to go to the church at least six times over six months before, which I don't know, it just shows. It's like a nice opportunity for us to like go there and like show. It's like, I don't know, we've really liked it so far. It's a nice commitment to like, okay, we're not just doing this for like the. Yeah.

I know what you mean. It's showing commitment to church. Showing commitment to each other and to the church. But like you have to do it anyway to legally create a connection to the church. But it feels so nice to like have that routine. And then we sit there and we're like, oh, we're really like, I don't know, it makes you really consider and think about what marriage is all about and like why you're doing it. And it's like, it's just a really lovely, wholesome thing to do. I really enjoy it.

We did bring the age bracket of the church congregation down by about 40%, which was also quite nice. Maybe more than 40%. The average person was 80. No stop. But they were lovely. Maybe you're right. We were having tea with them afterwards and I, it was very sweet. And everyone comes in and they go,

Getting married, are you? Yeah. Like literally straight away and you're like, oh, what gave us away? We literally, you stick out like a sore thumb because everyone else is like the local villages. I also guess their locals, yeah, that they go away. They know everyone and then all of a sudden like a young 20 year old couple. 20 year old. 20 year old.

20 year old couple turn up. It's true. It's quite obvious. But it's so nice. What brings you guys here? So yeah, we've had some struggles with the guest list because you can't have everybody. that you know. You then also, you either go super strip back, which neither of us really...

I would be happy to do that, but then it's also like, there's two parts of me that would love to just have us family, as an immediate family, and like bridesmaids and ashes. That would be really nice, like a 30, 40 person wedding. Yeah. But that's not what we're doing, so. I know what you mean. But I think because we have seen so many others that have been... We've never been to a wedding that that's been in the case, have we?

But I think there's something so special about having... Tobes loves, loves... I like... I'm not necessarily a big party guy, but I love people and I love our people. And there just happens to be a lot of those people. But you're right, we get past the kind of hundred mark, you then go into like, oh, if I'm inviting that person, I should invite that person. And then you've got political and then you've got partners who you maybe don't know as well as the person who you're friends with.

Yeah. And I think you do just have to be quite brutal. We need to actually also go through our list and count how many people each of us have got. I know we have to do like these wedmin hours. I love a spreadsheet. Yeah, but who's been doing the spreadsheets? Yeah. And I know that you think they're shit to be very like left like loads of yaps out and then

it made our numbers go up by 10 people and I was like, ooh, okay, right. It's the most unofficial spreadsheet. But I know, I'm not good with that sort of thing. That's your area, but you're not doing it. So I'm just got got on with that. Do you're not wrong? Well, tonight, we'll go through it. I'm not also like very organized sort of person, but I'm actually quite enjoying like going on, because I'm quite a creative person, it's fun going on Pinterest and being like, ooh, like that for that vibe, like that for that vibe and like creating this like vision. That's fun. I'm enjoying that part of it. Right. We've got a game now called it's a Mr and Mrs. The Perfect Practice before you say I do.

Ooh, I like it. Okay, so before we get into dilemmas, we're going to play this game of Mr and Mrs. I've got some questions here. And then we both have to answer truth today. Deal. Ready? Mm-hmm. Okay. Who made the first move?

I did. Oh, first physical move. Melissa did. Lunged. I lunged. She kept looking. I thought she was looking at my chin. And then she just lunged.

But I guess you asked me out on a date. That's true. But in terms of physically. I was very happy, you lunged. I'm here for the girls making the first physical move. Absolutely. It's very black cat energy. Yeah, it was giving Carolyn Bessette.

She's definitely a black cat. You're so right. Yeah. Anyway. Okay. This is horrible. Who's the better kisser? Three, two, one. Me. Me. Oh, I love you so much. I'm sorry. You're a really good kisser. That's horrible. This game's horrible.

Me. You, okay, fair. You're the best kisser I've ever had. Thank you. And not your teeth. They're all. Perfect. and smooth. We don't have Envisaline every night now, which is grand. We have now got a whitening gel.

Oh, which is worse. Peroxide in the face. Anyway. In a garage shape. I have to just put by this. And it should have to spit out of course. It's not very nice. So it can't really kiss.

No. Ugh. Who's the most groggy in the mornings? Me. Yeah. I'm actually not groggy. I'm just, I like more sleep than you. Yeah.

I've now accepted it. Before I used to try and wake you up, now I slip off out. the room. Yeah. Rick? Noodle. Good morning. How did you sleep? And then he literally goes, this in my eyes. I used to it to my mum when I'd come into my mom's room when I was younger when I was like six. And she would still be asleep and I'd lift up her eyelids to wake her up and how'd it to you. I love it to me. But yeah, recently you have stopped. You let me lie in a bit more. I just accepted it. I've come, you know, I used to try and make you an early bird, but you're not. And that's fine.

I'm not a late bird, though. I wake up like 7.30. I think that's fine. No, that is fine. And then I'll, like, rumble around in bed until quarter to eight. Mm. I think that's totally acceptable. Absolutely. You do you. Okay. Um, um, um, um, who gets the last word in an argument?

You. Yeah. For sure. But do I have the last word? Like, fine. No, but like, I'm... You normally back down quite quick. Yeah.

I'm quite good at apologising. Just being like, yeah, fair, that was wrong. Yeah. I think I am too, but I'm not as good as you. Um, who is better at cooking? Rick? For sure. Who is better? Oh, who said I love you first? Me. You?

Mm-hmm. He was in my bathroom. It was. Oh, yeah, we're cleaning our teeth. Oh, sweet. Oh, it's real sweet. Who's the better dancer? You. Yeah, me. It says show us your best move, but I'm not going to do that.

Absolutely not. Who's more competitive? You? Do you think? Yeah. Yeah, maybe. But I'm also not that competitive of a person. Neither of us are.

Neither of us are that competitive. I'm just like, like, compared to you. My friends, yeah, I just can't really be bothered. Neither. It's all about taking part, you know. Who is more romantic? You. Probably me.

Yeah. But again, neither of us are that. No, we're not like super romantic. I had to write Toby. I didn't have to write Toby, but I felt like it was important for me to write down how I felt after we got engaged. So I wrote Toby this letter, which was on the paper that they left in the room in the hotel when we went to Barbados. But I, like, wrote it in my phone before we got there. That was like, not hard, but like, it was like, normally I would never write stuff out of that.

Unless it normally gives me empty cards, she'll buy a card, Valentine's over and won't write in it and just give me it in the... It's the thought that counts, care. Absolutely. And I love it. And I get to reusing. It doesn't match me the following year. Yeah, so neither of us are that romantical. No.

I love just a simple Valentine's Day box of chocolates or a Rakhal's rice pudding. Oh, yeah, rackals rice pudding is a way to your heart. Perfect. Suites me. I'm quite low maintenance, really. You are actually. I wouldn't mind some more like hand vibes and stuff. Who's the best in a crisis?

Me. You. I'm phenomenal. My brain works so quickly. Mine's awful. Don't eat freezers and like twitches. Yeah. That's why I wasn't very good at video games when I was younger.

You know, Caller Duty. You'd be put in this like Matt and all of a sudden I'd be like, oh fuck. And there'll be someone shooting and I wouldn't be able to where they're shooting from and then I'd panic and then I'd get shot. Oh, really. It's the same story in real life. Like, sometimes when I'm, so video production is my job. Yeah. And I'll be on set.

And so I'm like, right, we ready to start shooting? I'm like, ooh, oh, memory card is a memory card in and the lighting. There's a mild panic attack. And that is my job. And I'm still like that. Yeah. So. Watching Toby drive sometimes.

A driving is so funny. And like my girlfriend has been in the car before and like seen it first hand. They were like, oh my God, now I know what you're talking about. It's too good. I just get flustered very easy. pull over here and he'd be ooh, oh, and then the indicator will go on, but like, go in the wrong direction. He's like, fuck, and then I've got to get it back, and then go in the right direction. I, the other day went to flash to let someone pass, and I thought I was listening

with my music, I thought I was being fucking sick. And this guy was like coming towards me, and I was like, I tried to flash him and I just squirted the windscreen. So you. Fucking nightmare. It was very embarrassing. And he saw me do it and laughed. Did he? Oh, Angel. I know. We had a little moment. It was quite funny. But yeah, the old car we used to have It was on the other way around

So it's added another layer of It was very interesting It was like a Japanese car The indicator was on the other side of the steering wheel So both of us still from muscle memory Like you used the wrong thing Which is quite annoying

Who's more likely to cry at your wedding As in like our wedding? Tobes, yeah I've cried at most weddings we've been to Sorry I will cry Yeah But

Yeah I reckon I'll be I cry at most weddings Yeah I reckon there'll be some tears For sure I hate it when people are like, if he doesn't cry, I'll be so upset. And then quite often they don't cry. And I'm like, oh.

That's not either. Also, as a girl, like, you've had so much time spent on your hair and makeup. Like, do you really want to start crying when you're walking down the arm? I'm also like, as the girl when you're walking down the aisle, right? And you've had your hair and makeup done. You are the surprise. Like, you are the thing that people are looking at. So why would you cry at yourself?

Yeah, that is going to do. Obviously, when you get to your husband at the end, I will definitely cry. If you don't cry and you said that now. Oh God. You better cry. Teardocks aren't working. Now I'll cry for sure.

Get a little, a raw onion out. Yeah. Who is punching in the relationship? Same, I'm not going to do what I did with us. That would actually not work in my favour if I said me. Either way, we're damned if you do it.

But yeah, I'd say we're pretty pretty cool. Yeah, same. Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, oh God, I feel so ugly at the moment. he's so much better than me. I get that a lot. Yeah, and then it's the other way around where I'm like, who he doesn't look right yet.

No, I'm joking. No, but I'll have times. I'm like, how does she fancy me? Oh, stop. Like when? Just pre my three week transition. When have I had it where I was like, oh my God, I feel, it's when I've had like a spot on my face.

And I'm like, oh, I've said you. I'm like, oh, my God, no, you know. That's ridiculous. I know, but like when you get this force. I feel like it's one of these things. Mine would be like when I, when I said my visoline done and I had to shave parts my teeth down before they then closed them in and I had these nodules on my mouth and my teeth were really yellow and I was like oh but also like it didn't look any different but it's how you feel

about yourself yeah you just you know and you're feeling a bit this is how I feel about this situation on my teeth now it's like actually really bad it's fine I could see sweet granny we went to see my granny who's 95 from the weekend and I could see her looking at it but I just didn't want to explain to her what I was doing because she would have been like what yeah she wouldn't have got it you've done that on purpose do you know what I mean she must be like what the I could see her looking at it. Because obviously she's seen me a lot. She's my granny, so she knows that my divan aren't gapy.

So now looking at that. It's like it's having a party outside of my mouth. It really is going and it's got its own path in life. Right, Kay Zilemm, is you ready? Yeah. Hey, Melissa and Toby. I met a guy in summer 2024 and it started casual, except it never felt that way.

We lived two hours apart but spoke every single day. He'd sneak off on holiday to FaceTime me and once literally climbed on a hill on a camping trip just to get the signal to call. When we were together, it was effortless. I hadn't felt that way about anyone in years. Then we hit a bit of a deal breaker. I'm a natural slash spiritual girl, whereas he's a science man. I liked our differences because we thought we balanced each other out,

but he said he couldn't raise kids and be with someone who had different values to him. He basically shut the door on us progressing, but I was falling in love. Despite this, we carried on like a couple with an expiry date. Then there was a messy overlap with a girl from work who wanted to be exclusive with him. He ended things with me to work on himself. We've all heard that before. And not long after ended up in a relationship with the girl from work. We stopped talking for a bit because I was heartbroken.

But over the last year and a half, we rebuilt a genuine, solid and respectful friendship. Last week we had a catch-up call and the flirty chemistry is still very much so there. So what do I do? I'd love to know why you think he keeps me in his life if I'm sorry. a deal break a long term. It's a classic case of cake and eating it if you ask me. Fair enough to him for staying to what his values are. And if he thinks that that's a deal breaker, I also don't get how people can do a relationship knowing there's an expiry day. I don't get that. I don't. There's some people can do it. I can't or couldn't do it.

Yeah. It's like people when they're in a situation ship, mind you, I guess maybe I have done that before. It's a weird thing. We're like, it's really hard. Yeah, you know it's coming of like, we're going to break up. You're like, whoa, I just want to end it now because I'm so scared of that feeling of it. I know. But he clearly has got feelings for you, but it's like his emotional side is saying one thing and wants a foot in the door. But his scientific side is saying rational side. Rational side.

Yeah. Are doing different things. Which I think can happen. I'm like, you know, they're going to. could be, you know, a princess that falls in love with the stable boy. Yes. Realistically, is that going to work? And the princess has to go and do her duties.

But the stable boy wants to stay and be a stable boy because that's what he loves. Like, is that really going to work? Maybe that's a really shitty example. Jared Mberset, JFK Jr. I thought that worked beautifully, actually. Yeah, it worked out. But she was worried at the beginning that she was going to have to sacrifice herself. But she did.

Yeah, she did. So, that's true. But she stayed true to herself whilst entering the world. So she should have both. Well, that's true. Maybe that's not as good of an extreme. She didn't get swept away in it. She went, this is what I am, and I love you, and I want to make it work.

But I can't lose myself in it. Yes. And I think there's obviously sacrifices that people have to make. But ultimately, like, if you have serious differences in, like, beliefs and, like, values, that's going to keep coming up. Like, there's only so much that love can do and connection can do. Listen, I think that you need to stop talking to this guy. Yeah.

Because ultimately, you're never going to have any long-term relationship with him, which you want. He's told you that that is completely off the table. You've got to leave us here. No. A friendship's just going to drive you fucking crazy because you love him. And you need to be really, really, really, really strong, which I know is virtually impossible when you love someone like that. But you have to be.

Not times a healer. The more time you're away from him, the more you're... Sorry, the more time you spend away from him, you'll be less drawn to him. Yes. And people do say distance makes the heart grow fonder. But I don't think that. I think ignorance is bliss. If we don't have him on any socials, we don't see him.

We don't have his name. The mind forgets. we have to move on. This is not something that's that's going to be sustainable. And also like, if he's like, oh yeah, it didn't work out with her,

but like, I'm coming straight back to you. Like, no. No. Why have you sacked me off to be in a relationship with her? You obviously don't love me enough. Otherwise,

actually my beliefs wouldn't make a difference. That is true. I just don't think this is good for you to stay in contact with this person. Sometimes, you know, we fall in love with the wrong people. You're not wrong.

And you'll find someone who aligns with you or who has a, different thoughts to you, but is also like really open to being like, I think that's really cool. We can raise kids with like these like, you know, different views and options and opinions or whatever. Yeah. You don't necessarily have to be like. Imagine disagreeing on like, let's say you were like, let's say we were two different religions

and you were really committed to all and vice versa. How would we, how would that work? How would you choose to raise your children? That would be really difficult for people. That is true. Like, it's like you must struggle a bit with my spirituality and like my deep side. Yeah. Honestly, the amount of meditation music,

that it just gets played nonstop. Well, I know Rick's like having a bit of a hard week when the sage is going nonstop in the house because he's like re-cleasing his office thinking like today's a new day. There's meditation music on in there. The meditation music. My top played song from last year was healing frequencies.

But it's because it's like almost just on in that. Like even when I'm not feeling stressed, it's just on in the house the whole time. Healing us slowly. So I'm wishing you lots of love. and please listen to me, I really think that you're better off without him because the chemistry also now you know you can't be together

it's almost going to meet you want it more which is difficult because he said those things to you but I think you're better off without him I really do absolutely okay that's the end of the episode thank you guys so much thanks for having me always pleasure never chill

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