Wednesdays - 134. Is Melissa a Bride-zilla?! Ft Bridesmaids Liv & Millicent

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

Get ready Tinies... Melissa’s gorgeous bridesmaids and childhood friends Liv and Millicent are here to spill ALL the tea.They share how Melissa asked them to be her bridesmaids 🥹 and what is and is NOT making the cut for the hen do. Plus, Melissa reveals some details about the bridesmaids dresses… it's giving chic.The girls also reminisce about their school days - think TopShop thongs, caked-on Hula bronzer and blue eyeliner. Eek.In this week’s dilemmas, one Tiny is in desperate need of advice after her bridesmaid has completely ghosted her… the girls have THOUGHTS.Another Tiny needs some tough love after her rollercoaster situationship with a serial cheater gets even MORE messy. We’re talking red flags on red flags!Enjoy the episode xGot a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail] | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Ewan Newbigging-ListerProducer: Magda Cassidy & Helen BurkeEditor: Kat MilsomAssistant Producer: Issy Weeks-HankinsVideo: Lizzie McCarthySocial: Amber Hourigan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Okay, guys, on today's episode of Wednesdays, we have two of my girlfriends from school, who are also my bridesmaids, Liv and Millicent. We talk all about, like, the school days, talk a little bit about bridesmaids, dresses, and some wedding plans. And please subscribe to our YouTube channel at Wednesday's podcast. Enjoy, guys, love you. Today's really special. Two of my girlfriends from school, from home, my neighbours, my besties.

Olivia Boys and Millicent Crawford are all. on the podcast today. This is a big deal because this is like friends, not IRL because obviously Sophie's also my friend in real life. But like people that are outside of this media space vibe. We're very excited to be here. We went to school together. We then migrated five minutes away from each other.

And then we will move right next to each other and that's unreal. Everyone should just live next to their friends. I think that's like the most of all. Guys, such a hat. Like we've been doing the nicest things recently as well. Like, Friday. TV night. Then Saturday.

we did a little errands day. Sunday we went to a new bakery. Oh, it's actually like you see each other a bit. It's a bit. But it's like a different kind of friendship. I think like when you get older, usually you see your friends like every week or every two weeks, right? And so you have like massive things to catch up on.

It's a different kind of catching up. But it feels like we're still at school. So guys, it's Olivia's. Oh yeah, it's very big deal. Golden birthday this year. And I don't know if you know what that is, but do you want to explain? Basically, I saw it on TikTok like. So it must be true.

Of course. Maybe like six months ago. I'd say. And it was like, oh, a golden birthday is when you turn the age that you are on the day of your birthday. And my birthday is a 29 and I'm turning 29 this year. And I feel quite smug about it because I've told everyone literally I know. And I would say 95% of people have missed theirs. Because like, it was my friends on the weekend. And she was like, oh, apparently this is a golden birthday. So you let not another one. And moved on. Not me. Talking about this. It was like, we're talking about someone's wedding. She's like,

Back to my golden birthday that I'm having. Everyone makes sure I was really on-Bur. Are we talking about a limo now? It's talking about. I think I was chatter of a limo now. I think I might have just been like, should we just go for it, get a pink limo? I've also never been in a pink limo,

so I think I was just trying to throw something in there. Also, are we not celebrating your 30th as insane years we're celebrating this? No, more. Okay. Don't be ridiculous. We've got nice weddings this year, like a lot of friends. It's amazing. The first one's coming up thick and vast.

That's May. But we've got hens first. We've got two hens first. It's really soon. It's okay. I've already ruined that for once. It's also not live. It's okay.

No, I've already ruined it for once where the hen was the first time. You've told the bride. I just need your sister not to tell me where your hen is if you don't know, because I shouldn't be trusted with it. I'm not going to keep things to see it. Not doing it. Yeah, that's, I think Melissa's too nonchalant in the whole. I think Melissa's actually planning her own hen. I would just love to just tell her exactly what I'd like and then she books it.

Because I know what I want. I don't want to be surprised. I don't really want to be surprised. I don't really want a stripper. Genuinely, I do think, like, Melissa is one of the most nonchalant brides, like, I've ever come across. I was really into it, guys, I was so into it. Two years ago, I was loving it. And now I'm just over here.

I'm like, oh. You literally said earlier, you're like, I'm just done with the planning. I'm done with it. In a year and a bit. I got, I was like, I got really ahead. I was like, this is so fun. You know why it's easy? Because, like, you can DM people and talk to people on WhatsApp.

When it goes to over to emails and things get formal, that's when things are. that's when things just switch off for me. But Mills and Liv are also my bridesmaids. I'm very excited. That was another thing that was very... Nautil. Well, I don't want to... I find it awkward.

Will you be my bridesmaid? But you didn't even say anything. You didn't even ask. We were talking about something else. You were like, on the group chat. You were like, well, you're off's bridesmaids and moved on. I was like, I really think I should clarify that. You were like, can I...

Before we like ourselves involved. Yeah. I think I'm really hung over. I can't do women right now. I'm too emotional. I said, I need a break. Liv is the only one who fully... cried when we got engaged.

I'm also not crying as a person. She said, I'm just really happy. I just walked in. It's like loads of Melissa and Toby's friends. I don't know. And I was really hung over. I just walk in and I was like, I don't know what I'm crying. I'm really sorry.

Really wasn't expecting you to cry. No, it's very, not very much. It's not very much. I think it's because you know Toby so well maybe. Yeah. I think that's sort of was. I think we said that walking into the pub. We were like because we've spent so much time with you guys together.

Kobe's one of the girls. He really is. Although, he does always leave when we have girls' night. He feels so bad. He's very scarce on Girls' Night. Oh, he's like, I don't want it in true. And he goes and sits in his office. His office is at the top of the stairs.

So you can just hear it. He loves listening in. And you can hear him just like giggling to himself sometimes. Also, it's like when we come over and it's like, oh, guys, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to be here for girls' night. We're like, we just invited ourselves over like an hour ago. It's not strictly girls' night, but I know what he means. Like, if he had his guys over, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'm just going chill in the bedroom for an hour.

He's so allowed to join in. I don't think he thinks we mean it even though we do. He's like, no, no, it's fine. And they just like giggles to himself upstairs listening. It's quite nice that he just gets. There's nothing like listening. You know, and it reminds me of like probably like when your parents had dinner parties and you like listen to them.

That's exactly. And you can hear the plates like clanking downstairs. There's something comforting about it. Also, I think there's something really nice about not having to respond. But then he can like talk to you later on. Like if he can pinpoint anything. Does he ever bring up with you like after like, it's not really a boy thing is. No.

I would do that. I would just listen into what Ollie was doing. And then I'd just like make notes on my. my app and just asking about the night. Right, so, because you chicks and my bridesmaids, we're just going to tell, let the tinies in on the dresses. I mean, we haven't even gone to a dress appointment yet. No, no, yeah.

But we know what we're getting them from. It will be maids to measure. I've won a dress on there before. Lives about to wear a dress. I am about to wear a lot. I literally bought it a week ago for a different wedding. Obviously, I haven't just re-bought your bridesmaid. She just wanted to get the one she liked first.

I just wanted to get the one to jump in there. You really wanted to secure. And we have a position as a bridesmaid. So I really nonchal long. No, take backs. I'm here now. I can't take my back now. They have gorgeous dresses.

They have so many as well. So many different colours. I'm almost like tempted to do the whole like, wear any pastel color. Really? Oh nice. I thought I'm not going to do that. I'm not tempted, but no.

So someone else can do that, but I'm not going to do that. I think we did say that we quite like. Well, I think we discussed it. Like, I love. I think it's, I love a white bride to make dress with the, but like anything. just really light, it always makes me think of like Kate Middleton. Like, I just love.

I think it's so she. I think it's such power me because it's like, I think like traditionally people don't want anyone at their wedding to wear white because they want the focus on them. Melissa's like, my dress is going to be so good. Everyone could wear white if they want it. I mean, I'm not going to. That's not an invitation to be. Please don't get my wedding.

But she's like, I'm so confident in my dress that like my bride's going to be in white and it's not even going to be a competition. I agree with that. It's like a real. Yeah. That wasn't actually my thought behind it was that I didn't want to regret. a colour when I'm older. Right, so we've got a few little conversational topics that we can touch on.

Were we in the cool group at school, the popular group at school? If you self-proclaimed that. Then I think you're not. I think we definitely thought we were. We were in a really big group. We were huge. There wasn't like a hierarchy thing. I honestly remember thinking when I got there, I was like, it's really nice how people

just like interact with each other. There also wasn't like that much bitchiness from like years above that I, my experience when we were in search. It was absolutely horrendous. There was no years above. That's because when you joined one. Oh yeah. I was like, oh my God, they're nice.

Our year above was so nice. It was the two years above that were absolutely horrendous. I also remember being at prep school and like you'd get, we had a few older years coming back into our house to like warn us about what to doing. It was like, if anyone wolf whistles at you, don't turn around because you'll be called cocky. All of these things that we were like warned about like how people are going to like try and bill you. Not to do that. Not the boys.

Yeah. No, but these are girls. These were girls that were older than us, like, warning you. I actually had heard about that before I moved down to Millfield. Because my dad went to Milfield and, like, not from his time, but he obviously would hear things, like news. And I knew about the dining hall walkway. Yeah, that was bad. It was infamous.

That was, like, terrifying. This was a way. It was so scary. I can't even explain. So it was, like, a thousand people could sit in it. And then it was just a long aisle through the middle and everyone would walk with their tray and, like, the first team rugby team would always sit back, back to the wall, or back right, and you know they were all just staring at you.

I think the only time I thought that the bitchiness that I had when I first went to Milford was when I joined not having gone to prep school. And for the first at two weeks, everyone in prep school just wouldn't talk to anyone who was new. And then I just basically like annoyed everyone until they let me be their friend. I just sat there like, I'm joining in. Don't leave out. I'm not sure you would do that. Very un.

Live was also the first person that I knew, Liv came to school with a thong. and all her underwear was thongs. And I was like, oh my God. This is so grown up. They were all lacy. I think they were like, Victoria's Secret. It was, it was those so horrible, horrible. There's those strips of America.

Top shop ones where they had the huge bow on the back. So if you were wearing leggings. Would you see it through? Especially if you wore like the Jack Whirl's leggings. Yeah. Oh, was that the point though? Yeah, the bow would come out. Oh.

The fact my mom let me walk out. I can't quite understand. I think she just gave up at that point. She was like, just be you in person. She was like, just do what you want. I don't care anymore. That is fertile. But we definitely used to like out school.

Did you guys have that thing? So we would wear like three quarter length kilts down to here. And then it was back when the Jack Whill's waistband pants were going on. And people would pull the waistband over the top of the quilt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The trousers. We wouldn't pull it over. We pulled it over.

We had skirts at senior school. And they were like high-waisted. By then Jack Wills was like you were way to, basically at Milford. senior school, if you would be seen to be wearing anything Jack Wills, Abercrombie, anything designer, like Supreme, anything. You were way too try hard. It was strictly stuffed from like urban outfitters. Yes, exactly.

And it was scruffy. Like, you were wearing like trackies that had been pants down that had holes in. Like, you were not wearing anything new or design. It was like really weird because you'd be shouted try hard. People would shout try hard. It was fucking savage. I think I wore far too much makeup. Oh my God.

Really? Like, yes, I used to go every break time and every lunchtime and top up my makeup. But because my skin was like, I felt like it was worse from here down, so I only did it from the eyes down and then down at the forehead. Oh, no. You know what I used to love? I used to love a hula bronzer. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I spent the entire of year nine wearing blue eyeliner underneath my eyes. Electric. We always used to do that. Do you remember the turquoise blue in the corner? Do you remember we used to do that? Every day. I thought it looked quite cool.

Not on me because I've browned. I don't know why I thought that looked good on me. Why at 9am on a Monday? Do I have? No. Don't. Don't. Don't bring this up.

Nine. Why do I have that on my face? That's the speech impediment. But she's just laugh at. She says nine, but it's nine. I just put a G in it and I can't help it. It's so funny. And all of our friends have caught onto it.

It's so obvious. But no one said it to me until I lived in nine ounces. No one said it to me. You just said it right then. I know. I like pause every time I say it. But no one's ever said it before and I still can't do it. Even when I think about it, I can't get it correct most of the time.

I don't know how to not put a G in it. I don't think they let each other away with a long, which is. We don't, to be fair. Also, Liv. Oh, no. Sorry. Liv says, surely, like, surely. Like, Shirley, like Shirley Temple.

I tried to say to O.J. Mills's boyfriend. He was like, you're saying the word Shirley, like the name. And I was like, no. I'm saying Shirley Temple. And we were with my mum, and I've taken business out and live for this, like, a year or so. And we're in the car of my mum going to trial wedding dresses, and Liv says it once. My mum doesn't know this. Liv goes, yeah, but Shirley, it's like 10 minutes.

So my mum goes, Shirley. And we were laughing so much. and my mum was like, what's so funny? And I was like, she does this all the time. And it's absolutely hilarious. So we started watching Vladimir. I didn't realize I'd actually already started it and switched off. Because on my TV, it was like, watched half an hour.

And I was like, oh shit. Miss Melissa Tarton, Netflix's very hard. Being outed. So I didn't realize. It's so weird. I didn't realize that this is a thing. Basically, like, you know how you have a profile? Netflix with your name. Mine is in capitals, Miss Melissa Tatum. Apparently that's really formal and I'm like,

it's like her bag card and we deduce that she probably thought that she was filling out her bank detail. It's also even weird because you only have your profile and a kid's one. Like there's nothing else on there. Like, why have you full name to be? It's really official. Guys, I take it really seriously. So Vladimir. And then we got into Vladimir. The first episode was so weird. I pushed, I thought after first step, it got better. Yeah. I think it goes up and down per episode of like, I find her really insufferable.

And then I'm like, but I still want them to get together. I don't think that he's actually ever had like a proper conversation with her. I think it's all in her head. I think the problem with this program is, I think none of the flirting is real. She's also saying that she now loves him. Yes. Which is just so unhinged.

But I also think this is a reflection of actually what can go on in real life with real girls and maybe guys that get so in their head and create, like, that they are just obsessed with somebody. Why isn't he replied? Why isn't? And I'm like... Can I say, I think the best bit that I, like, fully actually related to. And I don't know if that's like... I think this is, like, a common thing that we used to have when we were younger.

You know when she's texting, and it's, like, the first time. And she's like, does she ask, like, how do you like to read? And then he's, like, texting back. And he's texting back. And then he doesn't text back or something. And so she puts her phone away and she's in the bath. Yeah, and she gets... She's like, it's not him.

She's like, and get straight. I remember being younger. would be texting a boy and I'd be like, okay, I'm going to take a break off. Like, I've been in like a four-hour marathon and I'd like hear it go while I'm in the shower and then I just like get out the shower to go reply, like sopping wet. If they hadn't replied tomorrow, I'm put my phone the other side of the room because I don't care if they don't reply, like, whatever, it's fine. Then I'd sit down and I'd hear it.

I'm like, rough. And it's then like my mum texting me and like, so upsetting. I also have that thing where there's like a second where your phone will like freeze before a call comes in. So now when my phone freezes, I still get that like rush of endorphins. like, the call's coming in, but it's just my phone freezing and also like my fiance are upstairs. Also, guys, if anyone doesn't know what the fuck this is, this is the new Netflix show with

Leo Wood or Lennon. Oh my God, ladies of London. I don't know, you guys haven't watched it. But right, is it like real half-wives? Similar. But I actually think the cast is phenomenal. They've actually got real aristocratic vibe women. And they brought Mark Francis in this season.

Francis has really come into his own. I actually felt like he was not actually made the most of him in Chelsea. Like he was given this character. He is himself on this. show. He is amazing. Anyway, there's this American girl on it who's married this English guy and he she basically was like, I don't understand table manners. Like, what is like the etiquette of like being English? And he was like, why don't you take an etiquette class? Like if you're insecure about it. And she was like, okay. Took it. And Princess Diana's etiquette taught her. And she

was like, right, this is amazing. I want to make a business out of it. So now she teaches etiquette. And I just find it so interesting because now everyone on there is like, so how do I do this? like how do I eat a banana politely? And I'm just like, now I'm thinking, you know when someone brings you like your dinner in a restaurant, but not everyone's given their plate? Is it rude to start? I thought you'd wait until everyone's served,

or you say, do you mind if I start? No, no, I would wait to be invited to start. I would never say, like. I think you wait. And then the person's always like, oh my gosh, don't wait, please start. And then I'm like, oh no, I don't mind. If it's then like 10 minutes and there's something wrong with their food,

then you start because your food would be rude. If it's two minutes, your food's not going to be rude. And I would never start until someone's like, please don't wait. Yeah, go ahead. Maybe see a chip. Right, a little chip. This is where the limes get blood. Because if you take a chip, you're like, right, are we starting then?

You're like, oh, no, no, we're just taking the chip. No, I think a chip's allowed. And I have an issue still to start. You can't have a lovely, like, a lovely, like, steaming little pot of chips and not have one when I get to the table. I agree. You can't pick up your knife and fork, maybe, but you can have a chip. But then other people take that as, like, oh, we're starting. That's true.

They do. And then they dive in. It depends, I guess, if one person has not got their food and seven other people have got it, then I think everyone would start because that person then feels awkward that seven people are waiting to eat for them. But if it's you and like two people and you're dealing with your food, you wouldn't start. Normally people will say, like, start. I would never see someone without the food and be like, wait for me. I've had it before, like quite often they'll bring the food and I've ordered something that's not vegetarian, made a vegetarian.

They'll bring it and it's got meat in it. And I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry, they'll take it back. I know that it's going to take them like 10 minutes to fix. So I'm like, everyone, please, like, that's different. Yeah. But I think if the waiter is still just bringing people's food. Is this when you have, like, three martinis and then you just don't have dinner? And I, yeah.

Or I just eat the non-vegetarian food and pick the bacon out. And I'm like, okay, guys, don't worry. Zilemma time, guys. Okay, right, hey girls. Love the pod so much. I'm currently living in New York for an internship. I'm 22 and live in a house with lots of other young international people. After my first month living here, a very attractive and very,

Flirty Frenchman moved in and we instantly hit off. However, when I found out he had a long-distance girlfriend, I completely rained it in and knew it would never happen between us. After nearly six months of flirty banter, he went on holiday with his girlfriend, where she broke up with him. He returned and didn't tell me this until we were out drinking at some Patti's Day, Barcrow.

We then came back to the house and the party continued. Since this night, we have... have been together a few times. I'm very aware I am the rebound and I kind of don't mind as I have had such a massive crush on him since he moved in. Do I carry on sleeping with him and have a fun last few months or would this be losing respect for myself as I'm clearly his rebound and my feelings of him are probably stronger than his are for me? I have you done it. You have to know yourself I think to know if your feelings are going to get stronger or not. I think there's like specific people who can be like okay I'm resigned to I don't know how you can do that. Switch them off.

But also did she not say that she's leaving in a few months? So, like, if you've already done it. Well, that's the thing. In for a penny, in for a pound kind of thing. For me, sleeping with them once is just the same as sleeping with them three times. You're already going to be upset. So why not have two more months of fun and then be upset in two months' time? I don't know.

Probably not how sure. Surely it grows more and more. Like, you've got the stage of like you're just sleeping with someone. You really fancied them. But then that'll grow into like deeper feelings. And I'd be like, then you have to move away and you have to move away from the person that you really like. I think maybe it depends on their dynamic. Are they just like flirty, like flirty bantering the whole time?

Or are they just like sleeping together? Or are they acting like they're in a relationship? Like what level are they at right now? Because I think if they're acting in the relationship and she knows in too much, she's going to be heartbroken, don't keep doing it. She's being really honest. She's like, I'm so clearly his rebound. When you've got the chase so much, right?

And you're like, I just kind of need to do this now because I've been yearning for it. We love the year. We love the year. But then over the hump of the yearn, there's the, do I feel like I respect myself now? and then you need to look at how it's making you feel about yourself. That's probably the healthier guys. He's a sexy French man.

It's just like... That is the thing. Like that's where my moral dilemma comes in. I'm like, oh. In my view, you're already in love with this guy. How are you going to resist the last few months and he's walking past you and you're just like, hmm, he's going back to France.

It's just not going to... Also, like, how long is she in New York for? Like, go find some other people to date. Make the most out of it. Apparently people in America are so forward as well. Like go to some bars and get the boys. Can you go into a bar 10-month-clock at you? You're probably not going to live in New York as a single 22-year-old ever again, you know.

You don't have your fun. Go and meet some like fun men, fun friends, like do all that kind of stuff. But you're not going to do it again. This is what dreams are made of this scenario. Make the most of it. You're 22. Also like when you move away who like you're going to be heartbroken and he's in front of you, you're going to be heartbroken in a few months and you're back in the UK or wherever.

So if I was you, get out to the dive bars. Yeah. But carry on sleeping with sexy. friend, ma'am, if you want. Okay. Have your cake and eat it too. Okay, ready? Next dilemma.

Okay. Dilemma too. I need help because I've been ghosted by my bridesmaid. I'm getting married abroad later this year and asked my best girlfriends to be my bridesmaids last year. I did the whole gift boxes thing and they all said yes and seemed very excited to start planning the hen, etc. Since then, one of the girls, my best friend since high school, has been very off.

I've only seen her two times, despite me trying to arrange to see her regularly. I haven't seen her in five months and she has cancelled at the last minute on multiple bridesmaids events Okay Eaps. Mm. Once she cancelled on a bridesmaid dinner

when we were already sitting in the restaurant. No. And more recently, we planned a whole dress day around her schedule and she made up a random excuse the night before. I have asked to meet up a few times recently

just to check in and make sure she is okay but no response. I even messaged her best friend who is a guest at my wedding and she said she's been completely normal with me. This has been so confusing during the most important time in my life.

It's making me overthink so much. Have I done something? Does she have an issue with another bridesmaid and my fiancé? Good question. Oh. What do I do? Should she even be considered a bridesmaid wedding guest at this point? I don't think so.

I don't think so. She's definitely not a bridesmaid. Definitely not. I think that you just sent her message like, look, I don't know what's going on with you, but obviously something's happening. This isn't going to work. And I want to leave you this space. to figure that out, like, please don't feel the need to attend the wedding.

The thing I find really odd is that the bridesmaids not coming to anything, not engaging, but then she's obviously engaging enough to be like, oh, do this day, do this day for the bridemaid dress try on, and then pulls out at the last minute, like, I don't understand that. There's something weird going up. There's something more going on. That's what I'm saying. There's definitely something else, because if she was really upset with you, why would she even be, like, because obviously this girl said, did I do something wrong?

She wouldn't be talking, would she not just be like, I'm not involved myself in this conversation. so it's very odd. I'd give her the opportunity to say something, though. Like, I do think I hear them out. Yeah, I know. You kind of need to send, like, a little bit of like a breakup text. Like a big type. An open-ended one.

I would actually say, yeah, like, I'm actually not expecting for you to reply. Like, clearly there's something going on with our friendship. If you want to talk, let me know. But this is how I'm feeling. It's just so insane. Like, can you imagine any one of us ghosting you? I feel like this happens quite a lot. People.

Like, you do hear these stories. No, surely not. Really. There she goes. There it is. I just think it's such a weird thing to do to such a close friend. Like, I don't even know what excuse there could be. But there has to be a reason.

This is the issue. I think there really has to be a reason. No one just decides that. Because if you're someone's bridesmaid, you've probably been friends with them for like maybe a decade. She says since high school. So like since school, they've been, yeah. Surely the other bridesmaids are friends with her as well.

Like why can't one of them try and intervene? So also the bride then doesn't have to get stressed out and get involved in it. That's true. Like if Mills goes to Jew, I'd knock on her to. I'd come through my daughter. I'd come through my daughter. I'd come through, straight through. I think she should speak to one of them

and try and maybe get them to do it so that she doesn't have to be sucked into it. If they're not close, it's like a separate, like a school friend versus a home friend or whatever, I think she needs to send the text as well I would say. I totally agree. I think that's step one and then that's step two. I don't think I would reach out to the other friend

that's the best friend that's a guest at your wedding. No. Again, because it's then like there's too many people involved and then people talk. Like if you keep this really small and internal and she just doesn't come and you can just be like, don't know, she just decided not to be my friend anymore, but that's fine. Yeah.

Yeah, I agree. But it's like... I know it's hard though. A friendship breakup's difficult and sometimes like you really love your friends and like if they decided not to be your friend anymore, that's like, that's horrible. But I think at this point, like it's worse to be ghosted and not responded to than actually like I would just like to take the control back and be like actually I'm separating myself from this now. I'm not going to be sad about it because I'm not being ignored. It's like in this scenario. Yeah.

I think also she doesn't resolve it. Like, and the surprise me just randomly doesn't come to her wedding day or does. come to her wedding day. She's going to be thinking about it all day. And that you don't want to ruin that. This brismaid, like, if she doesn't want to be your friend anymore, like, everyone's got the right to do that. But she should say to you, like, look, I don't feel like this friendship's benefiting me for whatever reason. I don't want to be your bridesmaid. I don't think it's appropriate for me to be there at your wedding, but like sending you a lot of love on the day

and, like, I hope you're the best time. This bridesmaid should do that because right now it's like just, it's rude. Yeah. But I do think you're completely right. Actually, it's probably bestor us in the invitation altogether because imagine they didn't show up like you left them that much grace and then they disappointed you? I think that would be the worst thing. I think you've got enough to do on your wedding day. You don't need to have an extra bit of drama coming in. Yeah. Well done. Dilemma three. Let me read it. Hi girlies. I would love some dating advice. I was seeing this guy last year and massively fell for him. It was quite unexpected because I wasn't looking for a relationship but we were a perfect match and he has an and he has

amazing qualities, however, in capitals. There were lots of ups and downs during the relationship. His ex-girlfriend was still around and on many occasions he'd do something to portray my trust. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no. I hate this already. I hate this. But of course, because I really adored him, I gave him a second chance and even a third chance. Despite the opportunities I gave him, the final straw was pulled when he went on a boy's holiday and slept with other girls.

Oh, no. Well, that's it. Sorry, keep going. So, why is it even a dilemma to even read out? Stop, live. Stop. Put the card away. Put it away. I stopped the relationship after that because I know I don't deserve to be treated like that. Good. We love that. However.

What? No. Recently, he started to contact me again. No. He sent me a long emotional message expressing how he truly felt about me and how I didn't deserve any of that. It felt very genuine, but I am now skeptical whether to see this through again or whether he's back for the wrong reason. Please help. No. Lye, a liar, absolutely not. This man.

And one long message, go to him. Can't be trusted. He's never, ever, ever going to change. He's going to cheat on you again. His ex-a-dial phone was around. You give him a second chance, you give him a third chance. And then he went on holiday, slept with more people. Oh my God.

I don't even how we even... Why is this guy even in your... But also, all he's done is send a message. Like, that's it. All he's done is say you didn't deserve that. Yeah, we know. Like, you don't need to tell me that I don't have that. That's really manipulative.

Very manipulative. It's giving narcissistic. We don't like him. It's going to tossing and gaslight. in context. We, as a friendship group, very paranoid that all of us are narcissists. Not to be a narcissist, but. It took over like an entire girl's weekend where we couldn't stop saying it.

And then we were like, I actually can't even talk because I can't say anything about myself because I think I'm an narcissist. Going back to the dilemma. He is a narcissist, I think. I'm not really hearing anything about what's good about him in this whole message. I'm so confused as to why you've wasted your time. Even writing in this dilemma, to be honest, you are so much better than this. Like, don't even fucking consider it. This is mental that we're considering this.

Yeah, 100%. And I think, you know, it says we were a perfect match, lots of ups and downs. I don't think you are then. I know that's really harsh, but someone who actually was your perfect match wouldn't treat you that way, continuously. Toxic relationships really feel like this, though.

Yeah. You think you'll never get anything better, but absolutely you will. Get him out of your fucking life, honestly. I agree. You can't have, like, you need to take back the control and just block them. Like, that's all that you've been in a situation.

We absolutely cannot be forgiving this. You can't be speaking. to them because he'll just worm his way back in 100%. I really think breaks from dating is so good. I think you need to get into a situation where you feel like you're repulsed by men for a bit. Just like a good six months where I don't want anyone to touch me. Yeah.

It's actually a really like amazing space to be in. Have you ever had that? I, after like my last five year relationship, I honestly was like I just, not that it ended like super badly or anything, but I was like, I just need a a break from being responsible or having like any other drama in my life. And I just took

six months. I was like, I don't want anything to do with men. And it was just like, amazing. But you're just flicking the off, just repelling. And walk through the street. That was it. No, I just think, like, you focus on, like, your girlfriend, like, relationships. It's just so nice. I think she needs some support right now.

But I don't want her to run and find it in another man who's not going to treat her properly. She needs to go and spend time with her girlfriends, do lots of lovely, wholesome things and not very wholesome things. Who knows? Go out, get quite drunk with people that you love and aren't going to, you know, going to look after you and look after you and look at that. But she just needs to focus on herself for a bit because this is not. She doesn't deserve this.

This isn't yet 100%. And he's also made you feel like the relationship was perfect and that you were great for each other when actually you fucking weren't. I think six months later she's going to look back with hindsight and be like, God, why would I think it was perfect? There's so many things. And it happens very suddenly. You will wake up one day and you'll just be like, oh.

And you'll be so grateful that you didn't let him back in. And you need the distance of the block and they're just like, don't talk to me, don't contact me. And you know what you'll get to a stage when you feel sorry for him and you feel sorry. for the future people that he's with and you won't be jealous. You'll just be like, God, poor gal's going to learn what I learned. But it's one of those, it's a right passage to go through something like this for sure. But we have to be strong enough now not to go back. You must.

Okay, love you so much. Bye, guys. Thank you so much for listening. And thank you guys for coming on today. Thank you so much for having us. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But, God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas.

I want to know what happens. Well, then, tiniies, we have. got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favorite app. How cool is that? Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Instabio.