Wednesdays - 137. Wedding Dos and Don’ts & Belieber Bliss ft Bronte King

Episode Date: May 5, 2026

Heyyy Tinies!!!Sit back, relax and grab an iced coffee because this week Melissa is joined by her gorgeous friend Bronte King, founder of Gals Who, for the ultimate girly catch up.Bronte is here to SPILL all the wedding advice to Melissa, from the dos and don’ts no one warns you about, to what it actually feels like going from girlfriend to bride.PLUS, Melissa reveals the crazy reason Toby is convinced his true soulmate is Justin Bieber. #HallelujahAs usual, the dilemmas are giving. One Tiny thinks she might have outgrown her boyfriend and needs advice.Another Tiny shares a first date story that somehow ends with her date licking her face. WTF!?Enjoy the episode xGot a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail] | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail] CREDITSProducer: Magda CassidyAssistant Producer: Issy Weeks-HankinsEditor: Kat MilsonSocial: Amber HouriganSenior Producer: Helen Burke Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, welcome back to another episode of Wednesdays. Today we have my friend Bronte King on the episode today. And Bronte, if you don't know, is the owner of Gals Who. And she's also an influencer and all sorts of lovely things. We talk about weddings, dues and dotes. Bronte gives me some good advice. And we also talk about Bronte being a bit fan girl of Olivia Dean, Toby being a fanboy of Justin Bieber, and the usual dilemmas.

And if you could subscribe to our YouTube channel, at Wednesday's podcast. That would be amazing. Thanks guys. Love you. Okay guys. Welcome back to the pod. We have Bronte King King King with us today. Sorry, King Scales. King Scales. The new name. Yay. And I know Bronte through Toby. Because my husband, Matt and Toby have a company together. They do. The sweet, like, little blonde boys. They're besties. And that's how, when did we meet then? Must be three. Three is four, nearly four. Yeah. It was in Bali that I met you. You met in Bali.

Yeah, and I was swimming for Maiden Chelsea. Oh my God. That felt like so long ago. I know. That was like a lifetime ago. How different our lives are. You and Toby just got back together. We were like back together but like kind of in secret and like we were like feeling it out.

It was a really exciting time. It was a weird time for me. It was a very weird time for me. And then you came to the wedding and now I'm coming to yours. Oh my God. This is where my UTI from hell. My UTI from hell started at your wedding. Yeah, that was bad.

That was bad. I had no idea. Thank God. Because you didn't need to know because, you know. Although on the doctor, I was like, where's Melissa? One of your wedding plans drove you to the hospital. It's so bad. I heard that you're an hospital.

I was like, I'm in the wedding. Like, what? But on the way, Chachyp. you did sort it, so I didn't actually have to go into the hospital in the end. That was Louisa. Good. Perfect. She was amazing. And then she went back in. And I was dying.

Well, let's hope. You'll have a baby by then. I know, but the baby won't be anywhere. The baby won't be seen at the wedding. We will be in childcare. Yeah, we'll be with childcare. With grandparents and I will be having the time of our lives. Yeah, because Matt's obviously in the wedding party.

Night one I'm doing just the people that are wedding party. Because it's too overwhelming. Yeah, I agree. I think that's a really good idea. And then it just keeps it chill and then I don't feel weird if I'm going to bed now. How many people have you got for the main wedding? I think right now it's like 150. That's quite a lot.

But that is like we're being really cutthroat. I think you've got to stop there. I know. Our max that we can go to in the venue is 160. Okay. At one point, we thought it was going to be 140. I had to say to my brother and Toby's brother, I was like, guys, if you guys get girlfriends, they can't come to the wedding because there's literally no space.

We've cut our family friends. But now we've been given 160, we can fit the family friends and they can bring girlfriends if they get them. How many people do you think? Like, when you were sat there, how many people do you think? I would say 120. It was 98. So think of that. I know.

Listen, I'm up for a small wedding. I'm up for a small wedding. Toby was like, we have to. You're just so popular. You just can't. You know what it is? It's also like a lot of people have like other halves that we don't know. But you can't really not in light. There's so many politics. Could you do a little breakdown of what your wedding was like for everybody? My wedding was in Croatia. It was the president, old president of Croatia's holiday home. Did you know that? I did. Yeah. And there was a bunker in there that he used to use in the wall. Yeah. And there's actually a tunnel that runs all the way down through to the Navy base apparently. It was all very historic to Croatia. I think to us. As English people, we were just like, lovely yellow house. And all the guests came by boat

because it was just the most beautiful view. It was really James Bond vibes. And the boat was banging. Like, this wasn't a barge. Like, we were on these black speed boats. It was gorgeous. Did your hair get a bit? I tied my hair up for the whole day.

So mine was fine. They said, do you want to arrive by a boat to me? And I was like, yeah, get me on the boat. And then all my rise was like, hair, makeup, dress. How did you get that then? We just went by taxi. We just got a taxi. A little car.

You feel like you went by boat because obviously you and Matt went out and did pictures on the boat. Yes. I did get to go on the boat. But basically the ceremony was on like a jetty into the sea and that's what sold the venue to me. It was so cool. I was just like how fun to be walking down a jetty get to the end of the aisle and we're just in the middle of the sea. It was amazing. Although people were like, it was amazing.

It was so hot and I felt like I was going to fall into the sea. It was really hot but thank God you did your Etsy witch thing because it was meant to rain, wasn't it? Yeah, I paid an Etsy witch, which I think is a bit del lulu. feel like I'm the original Etsy witch payer because I've told so many people it didn't work for my other fair friend. She's gone out of business. The link. It doesn't work. And all these girls are asking me for their wedding this year. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I sent the woman that you used because I'm sure you sent it to me to my friend. Yes, I sent it to you. And it didn't worth her wedding bless her. It did rain on her wedding day. Didn't rain. That's why she's gone out of business.

It started raining. I feel really bad because people, that's one of my most ask questions in my DMs these days is can I have the ex-y witch link and then I go and send it and it says page not found. So shame you can't take some commission on that as well. I know. Maybe we find another one that's got good reviews and just say this one looks just good. I say to the girls I'm like, just look at the reviews, just have a little look and find your own. I mean, Emily Champion, I gave it to her. You went to her wedding. It was meant to be like really bad rain and wind and it was beautiful, wasn't it? And Grace Beverly, I gave it to Grace Beverly. And she also said, Bronte, thank you so much.

Oh my God. So I'm like, oh shit. Why not? I thought I could send her to you if it was going to be bad. I planned Bronte. Everything's going to be inside on my wedding day because I don't want to have the anxiety of the weather. No, I think that's such. If you're doing a UK wedding, I think plan it inside.

Yeah, you can't. And it's lovely if you can open the doors if it's nice and sunny. I'm like, great, we'll go have a drink. We'll have an apparel outside, but I can't possibly be thinking about the weather. The weather stressed me out. That's why I paid a Netsy Witch because I was so stressed about the weather. that I had sleepless nights. Only the hours of the wedding.

For fuck. Thunder, lightning, worst storm that's going to hit Croatia, was meant to be my wedding hours. So I was manifesting. I was journaling. I was visualising. My parents were like, you're mute. You haven't spoken.

And I was like, because I'm visualising a sunny, sunny day. And when I paid the witch, everyone, my whole family were like, you're going crazy. It was $6.99. I thought, what's it going to do? Well, you're not going to leave. Yeah. And the next morning, when she cast my spell, I woke up.

I don't turn to sun. Sophie had the same thing and it was you to rain all day on their wedding day. It didn't. I don't know. She didn't, no one told her. Did she plant a sausage? I don't think she did. That's awesome.

I didn't do that. But hiring you're meant to do that. Maybe she did. I don't know. But no one told her that it was going to rain. Because it literally said rain all day. And we were like, oh, it's good luck. Like, don't worry.

It's really good luck. And I'm like, just don't. Which is great because it'll probably rain on my wedding day and whatever. It's going to be inside. But my fear was like, I hate the thought of someone feeling like, oh, bless them, it's rained on the wedding day. I'm like, don't fucking feel sorry for me. I know. On my wedding name.

And all the girls were like, don't worry, it's going to be absolutely fine. But it's not. I know. It's not going to be fine if it rains. I know. It's just not. It's such a weird insecurity I've got. So I was like, we have to put everything inside.

I bless them. I know. I can't stand that because I've done that to people. I'm like, bless. It's really shit. And I'm like, I don't want them to say that about me. Yeah, neither. Which is actually a real me issue, which I should probably work on.

It was such a gorgeous wedding and I'm really sad I missed the second dress Oh no I got a bit of it I think And I remember you putting it on and it was so heavy Are you gonna have a second dress That's so exciting It's so fun to change Also like to dance properly

Yeah I feel like it's because wedding dresses can be quite stiff Maybe not always Your first dance You and Toby doing a first dance together He's like I don't want to like learn anything I'm like you're doing a first dance Yeah

You don't need to Are you going to go to dance lessons? Yeah Really? I'm like a dancer. I grew up doing dance. I almost did it as a career. Like genuinely and I'm like, babe, this is my moment to just have a five minute dance.

Maybe five minutes is way too long. 30 seconds? Yeah. I don't want it to look shit. I'm like you need to, I don't want you to stand there like all stiff and big handed like he does. Like Sims character. He's got to loosen into it. He's got to just move the hits.

You just spin me around loads. Yeah. Pick up, maybe a little spin up in the air. And lots of big, yeah. I missed your first. I know. It's okay. There's a lovely video of it. I think Toby filmed it. It's gorgeous. You can rewatch. Matt and I didn't, we didn't practice. We just went with it. We were just like just go with it.

What was just the song that you had? Mars Smith. Sing it to me. You were right there all along. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It came out the week that we got engaged. So like it was on repeat that week. So we always listened to that song and take us back to like New York when we got engaged. Yeah.

That's lovely that is. Yeah, it's lovely. Stargays. by Miles Smith. That's the one. That's it. I should know. What was your song again, remind me? Oh, Olivia Dean float. Oh my God. So we're going to see Olivia Dean. We are. I don't know any. I know the main ones. I know the main ones, but I'm not like a gunho fan like you. Like, guys, Bronte. Oh, guys. I've never been a fan girl. Olivia Dean's number one fan. At one point it was in the bio of your Instagram. I remember.

It was like, you are like seeing her quite a lot. Now I think we should just take it out because like it's quite intense. Have you met her? Nope. Oh, I thought you had. No. God, I wish. I just love her so much. I've never had a fan girl era over anyone. I like Justin Bibi. He's great. Great. I like Harry Stiles. Like, he's great. I love one direction. But like, I could let it go if I needed to. And I'm like, I have to be there. I just love her so much. And how many times are we going to see her live? Three. Okay. In one week. Any celebrity goss for me? Whatever have you been seeing on Oh my God

The Alex Harset I know It just keeps going on And on and on Is it a PR stunt So I saw this girl do this whole thing On TikTok And it's something to do with

Hulu, Disney Netflix That they're both boosting one another's reality shows That's the new thing I've heard But Dermoire are like

This is not a PR stunt I know And then And I kind of believed them Was that Alex Cooper That put on her story It's not a PR stunt Or Alex Earle

One of them put on their story It's not a PS stunt And I thought... You wouldn't write that if it was. I'm really, really intrigued to see how it all comes out. I want Alex else to come out and fucking say something. I know. She was too busy at Coachella.

She was... It was such a good show. Weekend 2 was like... I know. I watched it live. I woke up and I was like this. Just watching it in bed. It was really good.

I thought... When Billy Eilish came up, I was like... At first I was like, who is that? I was like, why have she on the floor? Like, get up! Get up! You're going to waste this opportunity. Then I was like, oh, it's really.

But he didn't know she was coming up because he says you can hear him say in the microphone, I didn't know who you were at first. Oh. Which is really weird. Because I think Haley was just like, go, go, go. And they sort of like get her from the side of the stage and they like all just run up. And she just like collapses. And all I can see is this girl like in a ball on the floor.

And I'm like, sorry, don't waste these three seconds that you're going to have to have a cuddle with Justin Bede. But like get up on that stage. But they're good friends. I know. But she's a real believer. Oh. Have you not seen the video of her? She's like 10. Yeah.

And she's like, I really want a boyfriend, but I'm just scared. I won't love him as much as I love Justin Bieber. I loved his music, but I don't think I ever like got really like upset about not being the one less than. I didn't get upset about it, but he was my first like love where I would like really like, yeah. Him and the guy from Peter Pan, I always talk about that, the blonde one. I feel like everyone has the same thing with that. I think he was the first guy that was like, okay. Yeah, I like, I felt something.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I really felt something. I fancy you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was amazing. Where's he now? Not done much. One hit wonder with the old piece back.

I think also Troy Bolton was... Another one. Another one. I look back now and I'm like, you did not look good actually back then. Obviously, he got old. It was the voice. It was like Vanessa and Sharpay.

It was just everything. It was good. Yeah, it was good vibes. I think Toby wanted to be a one less only girl more than anyone else that we know. Toby is such a fan. Guys, you don't understand. we go through cycles with Tobes, right? So the whole of winter it will be ski videos

over and over and over and over and over and over again. All he talks about is being a ski band. I want to me even be a ski band. I've got this urge to be a ski bum. What if I was really sick at seeing? Would you love me more if I was sick at skiing? No. Like I don't...

The skiing thing is like, okay, cool, but no. Sweet angel. Then it goes back to Justin Bieber for the rest of the year. As in he will watch over and over and over again. The same video of Justin Bieber performing for like three years. minutes over and over again. Not even fucking joking. Then he looks at Pat photos of him like, oh, where's that dump him from? Genuinely so obsessed. And for as long as I've known him, he's been like that. And he was like, I was like a girl, like when I was younger, like always

just thought he was the sickest thing ever. You know, Matt and him went on a run on Saturday and they both were listening in their headphones on the run to the live Coachella show. Oh, my God's sweet peas. Because I was like, oh, Matt, Billy Hage came. I know. I know. Toby and I were listening to it on our run and I was like, oh, that's really lovely. That's so nice. That's when he left me and I was watching it in bed. Yeah, and they were both listening to it, plodding along. But yeah, I think he's given Matt bit of the Bieber fever.

I think he's passed on. I think he's come back since Coachella, for sure. I think he's about to announce his tour. I know. I know. I know. I know. That's got to be a present for him.

But he also, like, when Justin Bieber was going through that stage where everyone's a bit worried, Toby would literally be like, I'm just really worried about Justin. And like I'm really just, I'm really worried about Justin Bieber, but I hope he's alright. It was a hard time. And I'm like, I love Justin Bieber. But I think he's going to be right. But it was a genuine concern. Not even J-K.

It's actually pretty weird. I'm like, there must be something. I'm a little bit odd about you to be that obsessed. I'm like, you're that obsessed for me. But you know what, Justin is back. Like, that performance, I was like, you're back. Like, he seemed just so happy and like, I'm judging like I know him. He really does. I was looking at him on station and I was like, no, you seem really like just there.

I wish this outfit was a bit different. The Louerve boots could have been cool with without the short. I just love seeing the BTS of Haley watching. I just loved watching that. Oh my God, she's just so cool. There's also this girl on TikTok who was like, Haley Bieber like, I did ballet with her when I was younger. Have you seen this? She was like in Brazil or something that we used to do ballet together and she was like even when they were like 12 and even back then apparently she was like influencing. So she'd like come in with these cool rings and they'd all copied. They were like, she just had energy that was like everyone wanted to be like her. And she had a specific Starbucks coffee that she'd like come into the ballet class every week.

And they all copied her. And I'm like, that is just so fascinating that someone's like born with that energy. I can see that. And apparently even then she was like, I've got Dustin Bieber's phone number in my phone. And they were like, kind of didn't really believe her. But obviously that like she obviously did. Oh my God. I know.

She is very cool. So cool. And apparently the baby looks exactly like Dustin. Really? Baby Jack. Oh, so cute. He was it, though, I was talking to you. And they were like, it's so nice they've just named him a normal name. Yeah, Mackie's throwing Jack in the mix there now.

And I'm like, is it because Justin Bieber's son is called Jack? And you've now realised that you're a Bieber lover. Oh, my God. It is a night. I think it's just a Jack. It's just a strong name. Yeah, it's lovely. Yeah, my friend Jack. My friend Jack.

Good on Jack. Yeah, my friend Jack. Is it going to be King Scales? Jack King's Gales. Well, it's not going to be called Jack, but it will be called King's Scales. Oh, okay. Like set and stone. Jack King Scales.

Jack King's. Well, Matt hasn't changed his name yet to King Scales. He's still Dudley Scales. Quite a fath to change one's name. Honestly, Mr. Don't do it after you get married. It took months. Oh, my God, what? It took so long.

Oh, you know what I'm like with admin? Are you changed your name to Watkins? I think I will. I love Tatum and the way it's written. But no one can say it right. They always put a fucking you in there. Even now, like, people that are like, I've known for a long time we'll write T-A-T-T-U-M and I'm like, so disrespectful.

T-A-T-U-M. As in Tatum, because it is pronounced like that. What is it? T-A-T-M. Oh, Tatum. And people put an N on the end or they go Tatum and I'm like, oh. Watkins is just like Melissa Watkins. You're not going to misspell Watkins.

It's just quite easy. Yeah, it does take a while. Driving license, bank details, passport. Oh, you've definitely got to do it. Now you're having a baby because you can't travel with the baby as easily. They get really weird about it if you don't have the same name. that. Yeah, you've got to get on that.

Passport's done. Tick. All right. That's the main thing. Driving licence is in the post coming. I'd wait until you lose the driving license before you'd update it. That's what I do. It was two years out of date.

Didn't realize. Fair. It's weird that they expire. It's weird. Expired in 2024, I didn't realize. But it's fine. It's all good. New ones on the way.

And then... She's like, I'm about to do that one, I get. Bank details. You have to change your bank name. It's all just a faff. It is a faff. Yeah, it takes well. Just give yourself time. God, Toby won't do it either.

We both have such mental blocks and shit like that. Yeah. Matt and I will help you. Matt will have to do it for a day, probably. Matt will put on Toby's to-do list for work. Yeah, put it in the diary, block out two hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great idea. Also, obviously, Monty, you're pregnant. So how did you manage to hide that up until the 12-week mark?

I cancelled my whole calendar. I didn't see anyone. I didn't really do anything. How did you, like, how did you blag that? But you like, I'm just really unwell. I just said I was unwell, yeah. It was really hard. My friends know that I say what's wrong and like I'll turn up even if I'm not feeling very well and say like, yeah, and...

But did they catch on where they're like, yeah, and then when I told them, my schoolgirls, when I told them at the end of the 12 weeks, they were like, oh, yeah, we did, we did think something was, yeah. I did tell a lot of people a bit early. You knew really early. Yeah. Like four weeks or something. Yeah, literally the day I found out.

I think found out. I remember, I remember Tabby coming back from that train. He was like so and I was like, wanting him out pregnant. He was like, yeah. And I was like, I literally said, I was like, they're going to get pregnant so quickly on their honeymoon, but I just knew. Also, Matt always said like, yeah, straightway. Oh, straight away. Straightway.

He was just, he just can't wait. He just wanted a child for so long. He's like, he's so excited. I've got him a dad book. I don't know how much has been read, but he's doing a lot of research on like he'll see something on Instagram or like, and he'll send him. He's like, oh, that's so interesting. about there on Instagram. I know we hate it for like scaremongering, but sometimes you get really good cat accounts that are really like knowledgeable of stuff. And because we're getting a doula,

she'll teach him a lot. And that's true. So talk to me about the doler. Yeah. So I've decided we're going to go for a doler, which is like an unmedicated midwife. Yeah. As in she's not a trained like nurse or midwife, but she knows all about birth and like the way the body works and how you what your body goes into basically through birth, and she'll be there with us throughout the whole birth. Such a nice, like, before, after. I just really love the idea of, like... It's a comfort, like, you've got someone there that you trust

that knows what they're doing. Yeah. Because sometimes I think you hear these things where, like, the hospital, like, is busy or whatever, and you're like, no, no, no, can I just... And you're, like, unsure. Whereas because they're there all the time, they can be like, no, you're absolutely right.

Or like, no, no, no, that's fine. Yeah. And also, she'll, like, empower me in the knowledge of birth. Yes. I can't wait to know everything. You can feel confident. What my brain does, what the body does. You can breathe out a baby apparently.

I have heard that you can breathe out a baby rather than push it out. So how does that work? I'm going to give it a go. I say this. I might end up in an emergency C-section. Who knows? Well, yeah, you just have to go with the flow. I'm open. I'm open.

Whatever happens. Yeah. Are you doing Pilates? Yeah. So when did you get back into? So I'd say. So I'd say. No, seven to 12 weeks was hell.

Right. It was awful. Couldn't even really get out for a five-minute walk. Really? Sick. I was just gagging the whole time. It was really awful. It was really bad.

I was a shell of a human. But you just get through that time. And then from 12 weeks, I started weight training again. I go to Pilates once or twice a week, as well as three times a week to weight training. When I'm like in Pilates or weight training, I'm like, I'm training for birth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm literally like, people train for a marathon. I'm training to give birth.

And not to be a new mom. And to be a new mug. Because that's like a lot of heavy lifting. Yeah. And Pilates meant to be amazing for like prenatal. Yeah. Have you done that? What was the way?

The baby was talking all about actually prenatal yoga? Stretching. Stretching. I have been stretching every day. I do my like pelvic floor exercises. And it's such a weird thing. You have to really concentrate when you're doing them. I bet that's like such as.

And also what about the old perioral massage? Oh yeah. Come back our way. He's not right. When are we doing? Third trimester, is that when that happens? Yeah, I think it is. And like eating loads of dates as well.

I think it's every day, yeah. Wow. I know. It's all just, yeah, it's all crazy. But I have been doing my pelvic stretches, like prenatal yoga. I'll do stretches every single day. Even when I was feeling really ill, I was like, okay, I'll do my stretches. Yeah.

That's good. At least you could do something. Something. And you feel like, yeah, you're being proactive. But yeah, I'm trying to keep, I'm just trying to keep really active still and just like do what I used to do. They say as long as you did it before pregnancy, it's okay. Like, just carry on. Yeah, don't try something new. No, like if I started running, I think my body would be like, whoa. What are you doing? What's going on? But, yeah, strength training and Pilates and my pelvic floor,

it's all going on. It's all going on. I went to Plarties two days ago. I've not done as much recently only to get, like, back into the groove of like just booking it and going. And I had like the iciest morning, you know, and sometimes, like, for someone in the class, it's like all going wrong with them. You're like, oh, like, the springs are going dang, and like, things are going wrong. That happened to me. So, like, it was an 8 o'clock class. And my alarm,

to wake me up, starts going off at 8.30. In the class? Yeah. And I was like, oh, that's really. It was dead silent. I was like, oh, my God, that's and I'd like, scramble out of my, like, the hoops and, like, the whole thing and turn it off. She was like, oh, morning alarm. And I was like, that's just embarrassing because everyone knows I get up at 8.30, which is,

like, quite big. By all these girl, he's always getting up at, like, seven. So that was embarrassing. was embarrassing and then the second thing I was like with my feet in with you know when you've got like the hoop around your legs at the top and you're like squishing squishing squishing mine flung really quite far away like hit side he's like dung and I was just like oh my god I'm so icky how am I going to recover from this and I like really ick myself out to the point where I was just like I need to just leave now or really prove myself to the other people in the class I'm a regular Pilates goer and I'm not like an amateur so one of those horrible things and I was like

when this happens to other people I don't think twice when it happens to it's like really harrowing and I was like it's really embarrassing. Why is it so embarrassing, though? Yeah, I know, I get you. There's something intimidating sometimes about Pilates. I don't know why. I know. I went back to Pilates after the like five weeks off and I was like, oh God, this is really

embarrassing. It's right. I didn't know where to put my feet and the straps. And even telling them that you were pregnant was that like a weird. I hate it when they go, anyone with an injury or a place later and you're not going to put your hand up. I'm like, can you just come over here and you can whisper about it? Yeah, I did.

I whispered and then half over the class, pregnant. No, no. I'm pregnant. She was like, just like, don't lie on your back. pregnant and I was like oh my god the whole class is looking at me I know I hate that yeah I hate that I do know what you mean like ways of like but just being more discreet just can't stand it we're going to do some dilemmas now okay dilemma one hi girls I love the pod so much seriously I need your help I have what I call a three month curse every time I start dating someone

everything is amazing until we hit around three month mark and it all falls apart oh oh For example, one guy cheated, one took me to his grandpa's 90th and then said he didn't want anything serious. And another stood me up completely. This has happened to me about eight times now. What? Three months ago, I met someone completely different. He was in the same wider friendship group and it turned into the best relationship I've ever had. I've always been quite guarded from past experiences and had almost accepted I'd just be a single friend.

but he really made me believe in love again. I trusted him. Everything was perfect, dot, dot, dot, until the curse hit again. He called me out of nowhere and ended things in a five-minute phone call. He said he still likes me, but something's missing and he's not ready for commitment. Oh my God. I'm heartbroken. I really thought this was different. What's confusing is he'd been messaging me every day saying he missed me and then suddenly switched. How do I break this three months curse?

What am I doing wrong? Please keep a non. This is... That's really sad. Really sad. Really shit. I'm really sorry. Eight times is a lot.

And then to get into that last one where you're like, yes, I think this is it. And then it happens again. Because now you can't get excited about things until that three months is done. I think you just need to take yourself out of those situations and just focus on yourself, find something that you love doing and then try again maybe in a few months. because that must be so hard on your mental health. Yeah, it's a lot on your self-esteem. And listen, it's not a you problem.

Like, this is what dating is and this is when things don't work out. People that cheat on you, people that are dicks, you don't want to date them longer term anyway. Like, that's great that it's only lasting three months and then that's the end of it because you don't want someone to date you for a year and then all these things happen. You're like, okay, great, move on, you're not the one for me. I think just like maybe changing your mindset, I think,

I don't want to say get hypnotized because maybe that's like a bit of stream. But like, try and have a different attitude towards it because I feel like maybe you're putting a lot of pressure on and it might be coming across us. Maybe desperate is the wrong word, but you're like portraying energy that they can pick up on. Yeah. That might freak people out. And like men can be quite fragile and also they can be quite receptive to energy without you saying anything. Like there's a vibe there sometimes with people that you can feel and you're like, oh God, you've got to stop. Yeah. You know. So I feel like, don't. worry about these assholes that are falling away after three months because that's great.

We're eliminating them quickly. We don't want to waste time. Yeah. Use this an opportunity. You're just getting really good at dating, okay? You're just becoming a pro. And you're finding out everything you don't want and then everything you do want. You can make a little checklist now and be like, actually, I didn't want any of that. And you'll realize when you come out of these three month things that you're like, that wasn't for me actually. He wasn't, he wasn't the one. I think is so three months, like, Toby and I were a boyfriend girlfriend and like there was I love you at that stage.

Yeah. So I do understand there is a shift at the three months. I do think it's an important turning point. So maybe that's why either you do progress over it or you don't. But also sometimes it does take way longer. Like my friends that are with their boyfriends now that they live with and they're definitely going to be together forever. It took them nine months to make it official. So let me just move at a slower pace. So maybe you just need to take things really slow next time. Just really like take it casual. Be quite nonchalant. Yeah.

And just say, you know, I just want to take things really slow. Let's just really slowly get to know each other. Yeah, like I'm having a lot of fun dating at the moment. Like, I really love dating. And, you know, I'm just happy to be quite relaxed. Maybe you just say that. Because that's like the most unrelaxed thing to say that you are relaxed. I'm really chill.

I promise. I'm fine. Don't worry. This particular guy that you're heartbroken over, you've got to get over this. Yeah. You've really got to get over this. And you will. It's three months.

you will go over it. It's annoying that you're in the wider friendship gooks you might see him. But you've got to show him what is missing. Yeah, tell him. Let's just take this by the horns and, you know. Have a little glow up. Have a little glow up.

We love a post-breakup glow-up glow-up. It's nothing quite like it. I'm really sending you so much love. I know this is really shit. And being heartbroken sucks, but once you get over it, you'll feel so much more resilient, hopefully. And also, you'll look back on this

when you are with the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with and be like, thank God, I didn't end up with. so and so. Totally. But yeah, it's not nice. It's not a nice situation to be in at all. Right, shall I go for my dilemma too?

Yeah, please. Hey, congrats, Melissa on the engagement. I'm Melissa from Australia. Here's my issue. I'm feeling like I've outgrown my boyfriend. Oh, crap. I met him when I was 16 and I'm now 19, and he is my first boyfriend and first love.

We did a year-long distance when he moved to uni. Then I joined the same uni the next year. We don't live together, but we share lots of the same friends. Lately, I feel like there isn't much romance between us, and we've been fighting a lot more about petty things. I'm scared of losing him and our mutuals and breaking his heart, but I worry I'll regret it,

because he hasn't done anything specific to leave me to do this decision. I feel guilty for wanting to break up with him even in the first place. Should I stay with him and hope that things return to the fun, exciting times we used to have? Love you guys, please share any advice. Oh, that's so hard. Break out with him. Yeah, I was thinking, when I was reading that, I was like, I think it's time. Break out with them.

I think it's time. You're done. Also, once it's in your head, you can't, you can't back out of that. It's in your head. Then it's been in your head so much that you've had to write this into us. You know, you know, you know, you need someone to just tell you to break up with him. I'm telling me to rip that band-aid off. You also, like, it's so unfair on him to drag this out because you feel sorry for him.

This is one of the hardest break-ups, I think, ever. that and it's always girls this is always girls have this thought like the boy probably doesn't he's probably like quite sweet quite happy just plodding along plodding along Bronte's worst hates that's saying um just plodding along and you're like I get it like you want a bit of passion you want something new you've outgrow him you're an adult you're a different person now and this is such a pivotal time of your life at university you're changing so much meeting so many new people I think that's this telltale sign that you're actually outgrowing him. Oh, 100%.

Because you're like, okay, I'm finding myself. I'm becoming someone different. And if he's not part of that, I think he's got to... He's got to go. Also, you're in Australia. You can have the best time, is it? It's funny when you don't live someone, you're like, you're in the heat. Yeah, yeah, you're in the heat.

You're by the beat. Yeah, like, why are we wasting our time? Get in that bikini? Yeah, I think, unfortunately, I do think it's time. The relationship's dead. We've wanted to move on from it. And like, he will be... fine. Don't feel too sorry for him because

if he's a great guy, he'll find someone else. And you might feel like first when you break up to me, oh my God, that was the wrong decision, but just go with it. You've got to commit. You've made this decision and written this for a reason. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Oh gosh. Okay, good luck. Please. Tell us what happens. I'd love to know, actually. Okay, Zilemma 3.

Hey guys, I went on a date the other week with a guy from Field. Oh my God, this is the one where you sleep with people, right? You just, you just... Oh, wait. Obviously not. They went on a date. I thought it was just for sex, Field. Oh, it's filled with kinks. Never mind. Just take it back. We got on very well.

The vibes were good and one thing led to another and we ended up back at his. God, I read that as we ended up fucking and I don't know why. It didn't say that and I was like, whoa, that is so aggressive. Too much information. I was really shocked. She didn't say that. Sorry. Everything was going really well and I was thinking, okay, finally I've got something good going on here.

But then, dot dot, dot, mid-moment he licked my face. Was that on his kink though? Did he disclaim that on his... his field bio. First day. But I think it's like you disclose what your kinks are and you're like, yeah, I'm down. For a lick of the face.

For a lick. At first, I thought surely that was an accident. And then it happened again. At this point, I started laughing because what else do you do when a man licks your face during sex? It was unhinged. I'm not going to lie. I'm like, I'm sorry. I think it wasn't a kink she was aware of if she's laughing.

No, maybe not. We ended up carrying on doing the deed without it happening again. I ended up staying the night and left the next day after a cute morning in bed together. But now I'm left wondering, where do I go from here? I haven't had much luck with guys recently. And I was so excited to finally have a vibey date. But do I want another romantic moment ruined by possibly the most unhygienic thing ever? Absolutely not.

What do I do? Help. It's just giving, to me, it's giving Dracula. You know, and they're like so into it that they like start eating you. other essentially and like feeding on each other's blood. It's one step away from being a vampire. Maybe too much for the first day. Bit much. I reckon if you just say to him, can we keep the licking to the neck area?

Yeah. Quite nice. Or just like maybe no licking. Maybe just keep the tongue in the mouth. If they're getting on really well, then maybe, and like she wants to go on a second date with him, maybe it's a... How do you bring it up? Because it's like one of those things that he might then feel really ashamed about.

Maybe second date, a few drinks in and be like, by the way... The licking was a bit of a lick. You have to like shit sandwich it. You can't be like, by the way, the licking bit much. Too much. What would you do? First date with Matt and he licks your face. Would you be like straight away like, whoa? Whoa. I just call my friends and be like, the only thing was, he did lick me. I think after a few drinks on the second day, I'd be able to bring it up as like a joke. And not making feel too insecure. I do kind of like it, but I'm not used to it. So like, can we just like take it slow? because this is like a new thing for me but it did, it was kind of horny. Oh, if they're from this app,

then she could be like, is this a kink? Like, do you enjoy this? Oh yeah, that's such a fair way of, why didn't I think of that? Like go back and forth about the app a bit. Yeah, and they'd be like, so. Tell me. Is there anything that we didn't disclose on the old profile?

Yeah. And then get it out like that. Mm. I've actually never been licked on my face. Kind of liked it, but also it was like quite scared. Do you mind if we just go quite slow on that? I don't even know. How you would say it.

Oh gosh. You know what? You could be like, the next time you have sex, make sure that you're like planning on going out afterwards, full face and makeup on. Be like, babe, don't like my face today because... Just, FYI. Or you could just be like, I've got really bad rash from last time.

I've got barrio oral dermatitis. I can't have you lick my face. Please. Yeah. I've got really strong skin care on and I think it will sting your tongue. Put something on your face that tastes like... Yes. Really strong and horrible.

Like quite alcoholic. Acity or something bitter. Right. Done. Sorted. There we go. They won't do it again. It's like when you put the nail biting stuff on.

Yeah, yeah. Never do it again. Yeah, good luck. Yeah, good luck. Love you loads. Sounds like a great guy though. Yeah, apart from the licking. End of the episode, guys.

Oh, that was so fun. That was so fun. Thanks for having me. Love you. See, Sue. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But, God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a.

follow up to some of those dilemmas, I want to know what happens. Well then, Tiny's, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad-free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favorite app. How cool is that? Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.