Wednesdays - 36. His Deliveroo driver turned out to be the girl he was CHEATING on me with…

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

We've got an amazing special guest today, the one, the only, Ruby Adler is coming to help with your dilemmas!Ruby, aka Tim, gives an insight into 'Made In Chelsea' going to Australia, and why she's considering making a move Down Under... On the dilemma front, Sophie and Ruby decide whether fighting for a seven year-long relationship is worth it, give their top tips for where to find certain types of London boys, and hear about a story from one Tiny whose "Deliveroo driver" turned out to be a girl he CHEATED on her with...Got a dilemma or any personal advice for another Tiny? You can send us a voice note or message using the link here.Instagram / TikTok / YouTube: @wednesdayspodcastEmail: [e-mail]:Producer & Editor: @ben_johnsAssistant Producer: @gurlinaheer_Exec: @jemimarathboneVideographer: @jamierg99Video editor: @jakeji.pSocial Media: @thechampagency Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Melissa are you a doctor? I want to be but I'm not I'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists and we're not experts at anything in fact we just challenge all the shit and we love giving you guys advice

but as we said do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help We love giving you guys advice. But as we said. We love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Hello, Tiny. Hi. Hi, Tiny Tim. How you so?

How funny that you are Tiny Tim. I'm the original Tiny Tim. Our listeners are tinies. Oh my God, yeah. They're all rubies. They're all mini-me's. Guys, Melissa is still on holiday with her family. So we've got the one, the only, Ruby Adler with us.

Thanks for having me. A.K.A. Timmy. So excited to be here. Love you so much. Thank you. We were just briefly chatting about the fact Ruby's going to LA. I am going to LA. And I saw it.

This is my theory behind it. Which, by the way, I was like, fair play fair play like I was thinking maybe I'd jump aboard LA is like where it's at right I agree and I always think god it's kind of a shame that I don't a know anyone there or b I've never been and so you posted on your story that you were going to LA and I thought she obviously has serious contacts there because of storm she's gone to make it in Hollywood So I thought you'll know all the Storm agents out there or something. So I was like, off she pops. And I thought maybe she won't come back. No, I can never leave you all.

I would really hate that. No, I'm just going on holiday with my dad. Just you and your dad? For a week. No, that's, sorry, that's so funny. He's going and he was like, do you want to come with me? He'd already booked his flights. And I was like, we're in a filming break till the 1st of July.

And I literally don't really have much going on. So no, I do have things going on. But I don't have like a holiday book. So I was like, great, I've got the time. Why not? I've got cousins out there, family out there. I do know people out there through Storm. You should do work.

So I'm going to like have some fun dinners, do some shopping. I'm going to go get the Hailey Bieber smoothie from Air One. I'm so excited to try it. I actually genuinely do some shopping. I'm going to go get the Hailey Bieber smoothie from Erewhon. I'm so excited to try it. I actually genuinely want to go. I'm so jealous. I am desperate to go. What's it like there? It's really cool.

It's like London, but just, like, by the beach, and, like, everything's better and bigger, and everyone's just, like, quite cool, and you can just walk down the street, and everyone just looks amazing. Beautiful people. I'm not sure I could deal with all that pressure, though, the beauty but they're like so laid-back chill like there's not like heavy makeup glam it's like quite like everyone just looks cool chic yeah because you

know what I watch have you watched House of Sims yes oh my god yes and they were just like they were glam they were glam and I felt like they were like whoa we're really yeah it's like no makeup vibes yeah totally but then like Kimmy K lives there, right? Yeah, she's there. I say it like I know her. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just going to pop into Kim. Yeah, Kim and Courtney.

It will be so fun. Yeah, I'm excited. Tim, what's been going on, my love? What's been going on? What has been going on, my love? You've finished filming. We've finished filming. Which is always big downtime.

It's so full on when we're filming and you're in the thick of it as well. You have no life. Yeah, you don't. And you literally can't lock things in your diary, which is really weird because you're technically just on standby every day to film. Yeah. Like, obviously, I love filming and what I do, but the break was very welcomed. Normally, we do a summer series in May. Yeah.

But they're not doing that this year because the focus is on Bondi. So they've been filming out in Australia. Miles and Tristan are out there filming for that. Yeah, you can see it. You can see it on social media. It looks so fun. So the cast is predominantly all in Sydney, but they've flown a couple of like us out, which was Miles and Tristan.

You loved Sydney. I honestly, it was my, it's my favourite place on earth. I had the best time. I think it came at like the right time in my life to go. I was so ready to get away. But also like I just loved it. I fell in love with the city there. Like the people, the food, the lifestyle, the weather.

I was with a great group of people. I was just really happy there. I feel like I need to go to Sydney. I just, I'm really fearful I wouldn't come back. I know that sounds mental, but a lot of people have told me that that sort of happened. I wouldn't want to be there forever forever but I could easily do a year there easily don't do it no I'm not going it's just too far it's too far but it's beautiful and you

know what it was it was the time difference like you and I like we couldn't speak to each other I couldn't speak to anyone and then trying to like work and like do other things back home and stay in touch with people it was like it was too chaotic once you're gone you never come back no you're a goner the walls aren't gliding but that was really refreshing I'd never had that where it was like I could just leave my phone because it's like everyone's asleep you know so it's quite freeing actually not having to like worry about responding to things and it was just that I was literally just doing me you are actually the only other person who I think understands how much I hate whatsapp because I feel like you and me are the same.

Guys, I have 90. I find it so overwhelming, WhatsApp. Like messages, it's inundated. Like if I honestly had to respond to everyone without the sound of me getting on time all day, I would just sit on my phone all day long and I wouldn't speak to anyone and I wouldn't get anything done because I would just respond to WhatsApps. I sometimes think. And I think, how does everyone else do it? I think the same.

I'm like, how does everyone do do it i think the same i'm like how does everyone do it i think what's going on like maybe there's a condition for like not responding to things like no i have a problem i have a genuine problem where i think you're quite good on your phone no i respond to literal five people there is like very honored because you come back to me quick you know i come back to you maybe the next day but it's always quickly but like the problem is with me, if it goes past a week, you're never getting a response from me.

Right, okay. It's never been opened and you and me, it's unread. It's unread and I have a hundred of them and guys, to anyone listening,

I'm really sorry, but my problem is I don't see half of them. Like, I will not see them and then I'll suddenly like go to message that person like six months later

and I'm like, oh God, there's an influx of unread. It's not. And then you end up like just stop messaging them in the first place and're like I'd rather just not it's too awkward totally ask that question I would love it if no one spoke to me same same I could honestly just put my phone away yeah like there's a select group who I feel very comfortable talking to 24 7 otherwise I'm like I'm the same. Otherwise, I'm like, oh, God. I can't breathe.

I'm drowning. Do you know what I mean? Like, literally. Like, do you think there's a condition shortly? It must be. I also think it's an organisation thing. Like, some people, if you're organised, like, Jamie's like, just respond in the moment. And then it's like, no, no, I physically can't.

I'll wait three hours. Same. All I'll do in those three hours is think about it and be like, you've got to respond, you've got to respond. And then I'm zapping my energy. Yeah,'m ill I'm ill I'm riddled with anxiety all I had to do was reply saying yeah I know I'm the same right Tim producer Ben wants to know where Timmy came from oh my god honestly Timmy came from you Sophie Timmy is a nickname that Sophie gave to me.

This was like during lockdown when we were filming ages ago. And I think because I'm quite like small boned and small trained, she'd be like, oh, little Timmy from Scrooge. Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim. And it kind of just stuck. And then I remember producers on Made in Chelsea used to then call me Tim. And I'm now referred to as Tim by my family members, by my friends,

by producers on Made in Chelsea. Everyone calls me Tim and I'm now referred to as Tim by my family members, by my friends, by producers on Made in Chelsea. Everyone calls me Tim and it all started from Soph and now I'm honestly, it should come up on Made in Chelsea as Tim rather than Ruby. No, no, you know, whenever I go to search your name

to text you it's Tim, every time I'm like, I need to change, Ruby needs to be gone, it needs to be Tim because every time I'm like Tim and there's all these T's in my eye, I'm like, oh, that's not her,

it's all confusing. It's sweet though because I feel like I now just see the word Tim as like a term of endearment. So if I see a sweet little dog or a sweet man or sweet... Oh, Timmy. Sweet man, what a Tim. What a Tim.

Like a gorgeous, gorgeous girl. Such a sweet Tim. Like Melissa when she's really cute, I'm like, Tim. She is the biggest Tim. Like she's such a Tim. Love her. I think you're a Tim. I really, really like to be a Tim you are

you are a tiny Tim and that's why the tiny's it's just like it's literally it rolls off the tongue it's just a term of endearment yeah like that's literally the only thing okay let me tell you I think you're a very good advice giver do you what advice are you good at giving you're very advising on MIC I always feel like I kind of know what's the right thing to do but I'm not very good at giving you're very advising on MIC I always feel like I kind of know what's the right thing to do but I'm not very good at taking my own advice I like to think of myself as like quite an empath like me too I'm quite good at like breakup advice I'd like to think like I think because I've just done so many I like to think I'm quite rational yeah I think you're really rational and I think you're very um level-headed mature actually yeah rational. Yeah, I think you're really rational and I think you're very... Level-headed?

Mature, actually. Yeah, that's lovely. I think you are. I think you're very eloquent as well. Like, it's not waffly. You speak with confidence. I believe anything that comes out your mouth. You could tell me.

I do. No, stop. I swear. Really? I feel like I'm like, I can tell you as an agent. Really? Because you speak with confidence. That's a good thing. My mum always told me when I was little, she was like, you speak with confidence that's a good thing my mum

always told me when I was little she was like just speak with confidence everyone will believe you it's so true like when you quiver saying things like people think I'm completely fluent in Spanish no I'm not Jamie's like she can speak absolutely well it's just because I speak it with confidence but I'm basically talking all to you yeah but then who was who's gonna know unless they speak Spanish I know I'll never get when I was in, but then who's going to know unless they speak Spanish? I know. I'll never get when I was in Buenos Aires and Miles was like, oh my God, you speak French?

And I was like, yeah. Yeah, but he wouldn't know. He wouldn't know, he speaks French. You know what, with us, I think that both of us have experienced quite a lot. Yeah, we have. No, we're wise owls. But I think because of that,

I would say you're one of my least judgmental friends and I would like to think I am one of yours like I don't think either of us judge anything we're like I agree I find you very easy to like talk to I feel like I could just tell you like my deepest darkest secret and I don't think that with all my friends no like I feel like every friend kind of like I love my friends I have an amazing group of friends but each friend serves kind of like a different purpose in a way yeah and I feel like if I was really like a moment of need you would be one of the people I would go to me too that's lovely it is lovely but it's true and I think that's because neither of us are judgmental. I think that's the thing. You can give advice, but you, often people don't picture them being in that position.

So it's like, oh my God, of course you should do this. And that's the right thing to do. Well, X, Y, Z. Whereas I'm very much, and you're very much too, like, yeah, that's probably the right thing to do. But would I do that if I was in her position? No. You can get it from other people's perspectives well. too which is a good trait thanks right on that note should we give some of the tinies our advice

okay I'll read dilemma one hey girls my boyfriend of five years who I live with has never really given me a reason not to trust him until this last week. Oh no. Oh no. We went out for my friend's birthday and we were in our own section of the bar. However he chose to get so drunk and spent all night in another part of the bar with a group of girls on a hen party.

Oh. He was cuddling into one of the girls in particular and dancing inappropriately with her I was so outraged and walked over to him to get away from that girl he told me that I was embarrassing him and hugged her in front of me and then apologized for my behavior

no you never like drop your girlfriend into it no never I had to pretend I was okay for the rest of the night the next day he apologized to me and said he couldn't believe how he disrespected our relationship. Fast forward to a few nights, I had an urge to go on his phone.

Oh, oh my God. No, no, no. I found a hidden album with photos and videos full of him and his ex from seven years ago, which he had restored only a few weeks earlier. No, that's the worst part. He's restored them a few weeks earlier. And it's worst part he's restored them a few weeks earlier and it's hidden the album's hidden which shows that he had been thinking about her i confronted

him and he said that he'd just forgotten to delete the pictures he's now on a statue but i feel i've turned into a crazy woman i'd be absolutely rifling through every single thing my mom would be going insane and there's a worst thing is she's been made to feel crazy and that's so unfair and so mean I find it weird that he's just restored yeah for what for what and it's a whole album it's not like a photo I do almost think that could have been a mistake because if it's from seven years ago and like there's been nothing in between like it's really random for him to be like ding I agree Jamie has a million photos of all his exes on like his iCloud. Like,

I'm not going to be like, oh my God. Yeah. I mean, I've got photos with all my exes on my phone. I think most people do

unless you like have enough time on your hands to like go through every like iCloud you've ever saved. Yeah, I agree.

And also like, if you've got a nice gift from them, like, great, keep. Oh my God, you're not throwing

me gifts out, that's bizarre. No, no, no. It's a really fine line, is it, between what's fine and what's not also as long as the other person's like comfortable with things like i think if you've said like i don't want that album on there like the guy should delete it i agree but like i jamie's got photos from 2016 i actually i actually don't have icloud i find icloud really scary so i actually don't have iCloud. I find iCloud really scary. I hate the idea of everything in the cloud. Like where? It's a really personal situation.

Like it's however that person feels about it. I agree. I think a separate album is a bit weird. I agree, a bit weird. Like they're floating about within like a photo of you and your mates at uni or whatever. Yeah, then that's so fine. But like if it's just like a whole separate album and like I don't like the whole restoring. No, that's fine.

The restoring. It's like what's the thought process that's gone in behind that? And surely your phone would be like restoring album. Don't click off this for 10 minutes. Yes, and maybe hours. Depends how many photos. Exactly. And videos.

Videos. That also takes up a lot of megabytes. By the way, this is my phone line. I'm not sure about a video. Yeah, I'm not sure about a video. Like a little romantic video but then also it's like I would hate for my boyfriend to watch an end video with his ex because then I'll be like how does that make you feel totally do you miss her I actually now I'm thinking about it like I'm getting quite pissed off and angry and I don't know why I'm working

yeah I don't like it one bit no I don't oh when I'm saying Jamie has a video I'm sure I haven't actually seen them but I am sure that he has not gone through his iCloud and deleted them. Having said that, if I go on his phone tonight and see videos of all his exes, I'd be like, I'm uncomfortable, delete them. Of course. Rightly so. Right then. The plot thickens.

He's got to delete it, aren't you? He does. But she has to stand her ground with him. She needs to say, this makes me uncomfortable. It's a communications key. This makes me uncomfortable and I don't really understand why you do this can you just delete it i would want to know if they've had any communication but i don't know how she's gonna know he's obviously on a stag do or not he's on a stag do so get your detective go right

yeah go rifling get on his email log into that laptop this girl came and gave me an iv drip the other day actually she said I could tell the story she basically the way she did everything was she was logged onto his email he'd obviously logged onto his email on her laptop it came up like on his email like he'd logged into snapchat so she was like that's funny he's got snapchat yeah snapchat is a dodgy app you don't want your boyfriend on snapchat yeah especially in this day and age like it's for the 18 year yeah i agree basically that was her first time finding it and then it was like every single thing so he'd been like feverishly cheating on her with every single girl in the world but i feel like it's time to do some rifling i know it's probably a bit of a toxic thing to say no but

like the way he's behaving seems super toxic also leaving her on like this night out and making her feel uncomfortable and like cuddling up to a group that are on a hen party, like, that's just not cool. If Jamie ever embarrassed me in front of another girl... That's what it is. It's embarrassing.

It's being embarrassed. I'll never forget really early on, like, with Jamie. He didn't mean to embarrass me, but, like, we were at this wedding and I couldn't find him and then I went into, like, this...

There were, like, different houses. I just walked in and he just likes telling stories wherever and he was telling these girls this story and I just obviously did something

and he like took as he does take the piss out of me all the time took the piss out of me in front of them I genuinely saw red I like

I didn't speak to him for three days I was like out the door you are sick like oh my god I hate being a bad girl yeah no like bad in front of boys I didn't speak to him for three days. I was like, out the door. You are sick. Oh, my God.

Not in front of girls. Yeah, no. Like, back in front of boys. Yeah, not in front of girls. I completely agree. Also, early on, it's like, how do I deal with this? Yeah. Well, clearly not the way I did because he was generally like, you're insane.

And I was like, yeah. He shouldn't be making you feel like that. Yeah, exactly. You should be like, oh, my God, this is my girlfriend. Yeah, exactly. Be so proud. Yeah. Like, leave those fuckers. Yeah. make you feel like that yeah exactly you should be like oh my god this is my girlfriend yeah exactly be so proud yeah like leave those fuckers yeah like also like it's the intention of like why would you want to hang out with them why would you want to rather hang out with them than me also like he shouldn't be hugging another girl no don't look at another woman yeah don't definitely don't breathe don't touch. Dilemma number two. Hey ladies, I've been talking to this guy on and off for around

six months now. Let's call him Harry. Last Friday, my friend called Harry to ask if he was talking to another girl who I'd been worried about for a while. Let's call her Lucy. He confirmed that he wasn't and he hadn't got with her in three months. He then said his Deliveroo driver was at the door and hung up abruptly. Fast forward to last night, I ran into Lucy at the pub and it wasn't long before Harry's name came up in conversation. Turns out he had her over last Friday and I immediately connected the dots. Turns out it wasn't the Deliveroo driver at the door, it was Lucy, the same girl he said he hadn't been with for months, fully knowing she was on the way to his house. I meant to be meeting him for a double date next weekend. Do I go and confront him or ghost? I go and confront him. Do you know what? I kind of would, if I'm honest. I think when you're dating someone who has early days, it's really hard because you're in that like slightly limbo

stage and it's like, where do I stand with you? What are the boundaries? What can I do? What can you do? But I have to say, I think six months is a while to be speaking to someone and I think you do have a leg to stand on in that time and also he's lied to you like you know he's obviously you've asked him about something that's bothering you and he's not been honest about it and I think if he just had been you probably wouldn't as awkward as it would have been he'd be like well I don't know maybe we're not together or I don't know. I just, I don't like the lying. I'm just trying to think if I've been dating somebody for six months and then they shagged another guy, I'd be like, I'm kind of like,

I know we're not exclusive, but like, I'm not cool. No, I'm not cool with that. It's gross. And like maybe... Six months is a long time. Six months is a long time. And also maybe you're just completely on different pages. And why would you want to continue wasting your time with someone that's just not really willing to give you that commitment?

I couldn't give you any more advice than that. Like I would just go and confront him. And like you said, like you're not like raging about it because you guys obviously haven't put a label on it. But just you go and be like, look, fine, you've not done anything wrong. But in my books, I don't, that's not how I behave. And that's not what I want. Yeah, exactly.

Because you don't want to be having these same and that's not what I want yeah exactly because you don't want to be having these same conversations in a year a year and a half there's still no label he's still dishonest you're just going to be unhappy and you deserve so much more you really do and um yeah hopefully he'll tell you the truth you've caught him red-handed now yeah I don't think I'd want to go on a double date if I had this brew in my mind like it would I'd be like no I can't make that but can we go for a drink the day before or the day after or not yeah I agree like I'm not gonna put myself because ultimately you're probably gonna break up like you're probably not gonna see each other again or he's gonna be like I want you to be my girlfriend like I'm so

sorry yeah it's gonna go one way or the other I hope it does go the right way. Same. Keep us updated. Yeah, do. Wealthsimple's Big Winter Bundle is our best match offer yet. Get a 2% match when you transfer over an eligible RRSP. For a $50,000 transfer, that's a $1,000 cash bonus. Enough to buy a fancy parka. A ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund plus move any other eligible account and we'll give you a one percent match minimum fifteen thousand dollar transfer register by march 15th additional terms apply learn more at wealthsimple.com slash match fan duel casinos exclusive

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Hey ladies, I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm moving from Nigeria to London and need some advice on dating and hookup culture in London. I've lived quite a sheltered life

so I don't have much dating experience. I've hooked up with guys but I'm now moving to London on my own. I'm lived quite a sheltered life so I don't have much dating experience. I've hooked up with guys but I'm now moving to London on my own. I'm ready to date a lot. I know it's the summer in London so what are the best places to go out and meet guys and where do all the hot single men in London party? That's amazing you're like what a big move on your own that's yeah so exciting you'll have the best time London is literally like one of the best cities ever. In summer, there's no where that can be. The London dating scene, like any major city is like just hugely overwhelming. And I think it doesn't sound like she's really looking for a relationship to be fair. But, you know,

maybe get on some of the apps, like also meet friends, like go out and socialize and don't just look for guys, like look for like girlfriends and they can always introduce you to people and friends and friends. I feel like that's like one of they can always introduce you to people and friends and friends I feel like that's like one of the best ways like organically to me totally yeah what is it hoes before bros yeah hoes before bros like don't just come here and like focus like obsess over men that's what I've done my whole life just like try and like enjoy London and just yeah and wait if it happens it happens okay let's give a breakdown. So London's big. There are different areas that bring different vibes,

which bring different boys. Yeah, depends what you're looking for. So East London, Shoreditch, Shoreditch House, you're going to get... You're going to get quirky. You're going to get like an earring, creative. They're in the arts. They are in music.

They're a producer. They DJ. They're like loving a beer and they go to like hackney and they're just cool yeah i'm cringing myself i give myself the egg if you're in chelsea you're gonna get preppy you've got signet rings you've got signet rings you've actually do you know what chelsea's breeding at the moment you're actually getting short back and sides with like a bit of a and a cap like you're getting har Armstrong Trish Phipps and Raz that's what you're getting

in Chelsea that is what you're gonna get like cargo shaved hat I don't know if that's a great thing but that is what you're gonna get in S73

do you know what there are actually some really nice like pub gardens in Chelsea god I sound so yeah there is like the Chelsea Farms Market the Fe Feeney, Arrogant House.

Spilling with Boys. Spilling with Men. Duke on the Green. And all single vibes. Very single vibes. And then kind of I'm thinking where is fun in Notting Hill? So Notting Hill, you've got... That's a whole different remit.

I think Notting Hill's got quite good genre. I agree. Calibre. Yeah. But what vibe is that? I think that's Hill's got quite good I agree I agree caliber yeah um but what vibe is that I think that's fashionable it's fashionable it's kind of like giving like it's giving property I could do this full-time for my job I could go to a country and I could suss out the type of okay Notting Hill is giving euro it's giving ice summer in saint-tropez and can yeah i'm italian i'm french and i've got cash i've got dollar so go there or you're getting the property yeah property tycoon like he's bought a couple of properties he's just sitting at the westbourne

having a rose so you've got the westbourne you've got the pelican you've got the pelican the electric you've got um gold gold vibes pelicans flowing with boys oh my god you walk past the pelican there is no women in sight it's just men and they're all in suits and they're all fine you know you're getting what you're getting okay hackney you're getting really cool i can tell you exactly what you're getting like that hair i know you that hair. Like little fringe down, some baggy trousers. Yeah, don't go. Thrift shop vibe. All right, all right.

Hackney is like very cool. It's cool vibes. It's too cool for me. Clapham's a big place to go, right? It's a big place. And a lot of people that are moving to London, I feel, go to Clapham. I move to Clapham. 100%.

Especially straight off the back of uni, it's Fulham or Clapham. It's Fulham or Clapham. It's often Clapham Junction. So what are the Clapham boys saying? There's a really good pub culture in clapham actually that's a good place to go meet boys the clapping boys i feel like i'm not too far off like the chelsea but like quite kind of rugby boys clapham's more rugged right it's rugby it's like polo ralph loren or jack willills they're not gonna have a big Instagram like they're not gonna be posting on Instagram

they're like lads they're like normal lads normal as the day is young maybe I need to go hang out and clap it so there you go

that's the breakdown of boys Ruby and Sophie's breakdown of boys in London hey girls me and my ex were together for seven years and two years ago we broke up our lives were on different paths he was settled with a good job and i wanted to go traveling our breakout conversation was not never not just now and we agreed to explore getting back together

when we were both back on the same page in the two years we have kept in contact and even went on holiday together when we'd hang out we'd have honest conversations about who we were both back on the same page. In the two years, we have kept in contact and even went on holiday together. When we'd hang out, we'd have honest conversations about who we were casually dating. One of the girls my ex was casually dating later became his girlfriend. It was hard to accept, but I did.

I wished him well and blocked him on everything. He was upset that I'd given him the block treatment and got in contact with my mom and begged her to ask me to unblock him. Oh, golly. My mom said he could only see me if he loved me and begged her to ask me to unblock him oh golly my mum said he could only see me if he loved me and saw a future with me he said he did so i unblocked him and the night before i left for traveling he spent the night in mine my ex told me that he didn't love his

girlfriend and that it was convenient because they worked together savage he also said that if he came back to the uk that there would be no competition as he would break up with her i unblocked him on the promise he wouldn't post her and i promised him i would come back to him after traveling fast forward a few months and he reposted his girlfriend's happy birthday instagram post and commented love you i immediately messaged him since i'd already booked fights back to the uk which he knew his message back broke my heart in short he said that he was in a good place with this girl and he wished me well in a text we'd known each other for over nearly a decade he begged me to be in his life again and I'm about to fly across the world to see him so we could be together do I let it go quietly or stand up for myself fuck oh god these long-term relationships

when you've been in each other's lives for so long and it's so hard to and it's like the back and forth and I can just so relate in that in so many ways and you date other people and then you always come back to one another and it's like it's it's so testing and it's like I feel for her I feel for her I think ideally if you can let it go quietly you let it go because you're only going to damage yourself by standing up in the long run but you've got to do what you've got to do to close the chapter yeah exactly and I feel like you know it's really really hard to be friends with the next I'm not saying she's trying to be friends with him but I think

if she can like be at peace with herself and genuinely let it go and move on with her life then like I rate her and like good for her but if she feels like she needs that solid closure to then move on then I would suggest doing everything she can to get that yeah I think it's really hard because some people are like well why doesn't she fight for him like I just think I personally wouldn't yeah things that are meant to be I feel will always be and I feel like you know it shouldn't be that hard work like it's really good point it shouldn't be and I feel like I get don't get me wrong relationships are hard work but they should just happen if it's meant to happen they should happen and it shouldn't

be a matter of you know like always doing these big grand gestures and like declaring your love for one another and breaking up and making up it's like they should just work I agree I think that you obviously have just like been in like a while with a romance I think that he said that you've got a you either just sent him a message but I would probably block him I would I think that's just the only way to really move on with your life is just the no contact and not seeing each other it gets too complicated and too confusing and draining when you're seeing everything and then they they reach out and it's that kind of that like you're running on that high all the time waiting for them to message and when they do there's a real lows and then the real

highs and it's you know it's not stable it. And it's, you know, it's not stable. It's not healthy. And I think... It's not sustainable. It's not sustainable. The problem is, it's like you're not both single. Like if you were both single, I would probably say fight for it. Yeah. But he has a girlfriend.

Like that changes in my mind everything. Completely agree. And it's also not fair on the girlfriend. And there aren't just two people involved, which is sad. And I think if men want to, they will. Do you know what I mean? And I do, and I know that sounds... Part of me now is like seven years, maybe she should fight for it.

It's a hard one because I think it depends on what the relationship was like within those seven years. Yeah. Like, did you have like, was this like a madly in love relationship where you spoke about your future all the time and you planned a life together and, you know, you were very solid in that time? Or was it sort of rough and up and down and you know breakups and makeups I think you've got to look back and think what do you want for your life and I think you only know what's what's right and you'll know whether you're meant to fight for

this you'll know in yourself and in your gut whether you you know believe that it can work out intuition is key I agree I think you've got to listen to your like block out the noise yeah don't listen to anyone else's opinion I wouldn't even involve like involve one person because I think too many opinions just are overwhelming and then I think you know come back you might come back and you probably I would actually ask to meet him for closure anyway and then just see where it goes from there I actually this is like kind of controversial I don't know if I fully believe in closure I think what is closure I think closure like stereotypically is when you kind of there's no more skeletons in the closet and you kind of

lay everything there you sort of bear everything out and you that is the final point and final call in you both moving on in your lives however that decides like however that plays out and however that looks to you and I presume it looks different for everybody but I always feel like when you're like well I'm just going to see them for closure and I'm just gonna have one more call for closure and I'm just gonna I actually don't think that's very healthy and I think when something's done it's done and I think you can end up leaving those conversations even more rattled and even more confused and you then hear things that you don't want to hear and that's it's more upsetting and then it's like when do you draw a line with closure because it's like oh this is closure this is closure yeah yeah but then you could just keep going with this closure concept for months and age like I know I have it's

like I'll just see him one more time just get my closure like I don't just so what do you do then you just you cut all ties I think you do I think that is that that is closure then then that's could be closure in itself just the you know what all these things are hard like I always think to my mum like bless her but like she's obviously had a divorce like I've been with Jamie for what five years like you've obviously had really long-term relationships like I'm like to my mum like I can't fathom the fact that you were with my dad for like 25 years and then you just went their separate ways like imagine every day hello hello like relationships are so wild they are so wild are so wild. They are so scary.

They're, like, the best things in the world, but, like, the most terrifying things. They're daunting, aren't they? Like, everything can change like that. I think sometimes you've got to look at relationships as, like... Chapters in life. Yeah, like... Seasons.

You've had a long relationship. Like, you've had... This girl's had a long relationship. Like, you could be like, you know what, I'm really happy with that. I've got lovely memories. Those seven years years were great and now it's my next chapter totally like I don't you don't have to like hate him or whatever it's just like that was then and this is now I think that's the healthiest way to look at it like there's no

point I know everyone's different each relationship's different they end for different reasons but I feel like I for example look back at my relationships with love and happy memories and I had the best time and I wouldn't have dated them if I didn't you know rather than holding on to all that like negative energy and all those awful things because it's like I'm not with them so where's what's that gonna where am I gonna what am I gonna gain from that nothing also like a way to look at it is like sometimes you look back at school time when we were at school and I'm like oh those were the days where I had no responsibilities and no worries and it's like but that chapter's gone and then I had uni yeah uni in fact that was so fun I partied my absolute ass off that was fun and now I'm here

yeah like you just look back at it fondly but it's there and you keep it there and that's all it ever will be and you did it and now you're in the present and now you're living for now you're just gonna have to go through whatever's gonna happen like you're either gonna get back together or your heart's gonna be broken because he's moved on and either way you're gonna just have to go through something

at the moment and you will get through it yeah okay we love you though good luck with everything and keep us updated Timmy I love you so much I love you so much

that was so good thank you for coming on and guys as always we just love the follow-ups we love the messages we love all of your dilemmas so please keep sending them in and melissa is back next episode so stay tuned bye guys we love you We'll be right back. feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11pm every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca.

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