Wednesdays - 51. He’s a good boyfriend, but his friends are BAD news…

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

Heyyy Tinies!This week, Sophie’s back from her holiday which included a boat trip with some VERY fit boys and Melissa gives a full Lost Village debrief.The girls get into some juicy celeb gossip: JLo and the Ben Affleck. Is cancel culture just targeting women now? Can women not have a bad day? And what about Blake Lively—is she being unfairly dragged through the mud? AND with Oasis reuniting, the girls practice their best Mancunian accents.This week we have a friendship dilemma: one of our Tinies best friends got hitched after just a few months of dating, and now she’s totally ghosted her! Do we keep trying to stay close, or is it time to cut her loose? Sophie and Melissa are dishing out some serious girl advice on when it’s okay to let a friendship go.Want More?! Check out our premium subscription The Follow Up - AD FREE, BONUS EPS and ALL the goss wednesdays.supercast.com/If you have one or a dilemma, any personal advice for another Tiny, or a follow up to a dilemma? You can send us a voice note or message using the link here.--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Producer & Editor: @ben_johnsAssistant Producer: @gurlinaheer_Exec: @jemimarathbone and Holly NewsonVideo editor: @jakeji.pVideo editor: @lizziemccarthySocial: @laurabcoughlan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either. And we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists and we're not experts in anything in fact we just chatted all the shit so and we love giving you guys advice but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help coming up melissa is giving her lost village debrief we're chatting about the Oasis reunion and the dilemmas.

We're helping a tiny who's struggling with her boyfriend's porn-obsessed friendship group. Another tiny who is battling with a grumpy mother-in-law. And we're giving our advice on a best friend who has gone AWOL. Let's go into the episode. Hi, guys. Hi, team. Hi, tinies. Nice ring. That's new. Oh, do you like? It's silver and gold. hi guys hi team hi tinies nice ring

that's new oh do you like it's silver and gold do you like do you like I like it pass it here

also chrome nails give me it have you not noticed I have I love the chrome nails I know guys I'm just gonna debrief Melissa who has been

like the nail police since I knew her has like decided to get off her biop Chrissy has done off her biop. Chrissy has done the same. Biop, you told me. Make sure your nails are stronger. No, it does.

It's fucked her nails. She's literally like my nails. That's if you take them off. But you don't take it off. You keep it on. But I've decided to take it off because I think it might be giving me eczema. But at some point, I'm going to have to take them off. It's essentially like having acrylics.

No, you don't ever have to. Unless it's a problem for you. You don't ever have to. But then that's like having acrylics. It's the same as having acrylics. Well, essentially, yeah. So you don't ever have to. Unless it's a problem for you. You don't ever have to. But then that's like having acrylics. It's the same as having acrylics. Well, essentially, yeah. So you don't ever have to have them off. So basically, you force me into getting acrylics.

So now if I ever take these off, my nails are fucked. Way less bad. I thought everyone's like building a bottle and making sure the nail's stronger, don't damage them. But that's a lie. Mine are actually fine. Like under here, that nail is freaking strong. Really? Yeah, feel that.

Oh, it's absolutely fine. So, mine have been all right. Okay, so for anyone listening, what she does is you... So, instead of getting the whole biab, like, completely taken off and there'd be bare nail, I just get her to shave the biab down. So, it's still there, but it's thin. And then I have the nail, like, cut shorter, filed nicely. So, then it grows out and I keep getting that done over and over and over again.

But I did break these two in Lost Village. I can see. That's giving Sophie. I'm going to get them taken off and done again. So next time you see me, they'll be all groomed. When are you going to go? Because I'll come with you.

I'm going to go this week at some point. What other things, kiddos? Right, well, it's just been the bank holiday. I'm fresh out of Lost Village Festival. Oh my God, Jess, she was a festival girl. Sophie was a holiday girl. Tell her. So jealous.

Debrief me. Lost Village. So currently at home, I've got all three pairs of jeans, a pair of Toby's and two pairs of mine, in the bath soaking in like disinfectant because there's human shizer on the bottom of some of my jeans. We're going in the port-a-loos. Honestly, that smell.

I know you just got to get into the festival spirit, but like nothing can prepare you for that smell. Because are so fucked up and like no no i don't i know it's just disgusting honestly disgusting and like when you re-wet that smell it becomes more pungent when it gets wet i honestly go so awful so that's going on atm so sophie was away on holiday she's been away twice i was was away, so I went to Mykonos. Mykonos. And then we went there for like five days. And then we flew back home, chilled for a night,

and then flew to Mallorca really sport for bank holiday weekend. But we live in Notting Hill, so we have to get out of Notting Hill. We can't be there for Carnival unless we're like joining in. You can't even get in and out. You can rent your loo out. I know. People say you can earn cash. 30p for a week. Two pounds people pay. Yeah. You'd make so much money. Anyway so we arrived last night we got dropped off at Holland Park which is like a 25

minute walk from our house because we couldn't get in from the airport. You timed that badly you should have come today home today. I thought Monday was like. No it's Sunday Monday. I did say that Jamie and he was like no no no but anyway I didn't mind it I like got out I had this huge suitcase we walked through Notting Hill Carnival with my fuck off suitcase and I was just like dancing to it and Jamie was like being so odd I was like relax you're okay like he was like oh god like freaking out I was like honestly it's really quite fun I was finding it really fun saw Saw everyone just, like, cruising away in their, like, cool outfits. You know, like...

Some lovely Caribbean food. They were, like, the proper carnival, like, you know, outfits with the glitter and, like, bums out. They all go big, don't they, with the outfits? I loved it. And I was, like, so found... Waking up this morning, the smell is out of control. I've never smelled piss like it.

Like, it's like walking through a port-a-loo. I couldn't... I had to have my jumper over me to go to the gym. I was, smelled piss like it. Like, it's like walking through a port-a-loo. I couldn't, I had to have my jumper over me to go to the gym. I was like, and then I... I will say they clear up the mess very quickly.

By the time we get home this morning, it'll be gone. It's completely... But I went to the gym at 7am. And it was rife. When I went to Velati's today,

it was all gone. Yeah, they were like, hosing it down. But all like, the men cleaning up were like, this is a really bad smell.

Like, compared to normal. Oh my god, really? I was like, I don't know what that smell is. It was sick everywhere. But obviously people are just peeing in the road because it was like that was the smell

I could smell was pee. Nothing worse. It's like your feet are sticking to the floor and it's like beer and like vomit and wee. Great. And I'm just putting my shoes all over the sofa. No, I was actually wearing trainers. I was wearing trainers. It's okay.

I love Mallorca. We must go all together. It's the best place ever. I really wearing trainers. It's okay. I love Mallorca. We must go all together. It's the best place ever. I really, really had the nicest time. I've had, honestly, all of my growing up experiences have all been there.

Like how yours have been in Spain, mine have all been in Mallorca. It's a special place. It's really similar. It very much reminded me of my bed. That's why I felt so good.

Well, it's Spanish, isn't it? Also, Melissa, if anyone is listening, Melissa recommended us go to a restaurant called Bar Bar. Is that what it's called? Yeah.

I've never been in there but we walked past it loads and I looked inside and we didn't have enough time to go and I was like, this is stunning. I did put on the itinerary

that I sent and I was like, it looks incredible we didn't eat there. I walked in and I was like, I've seen Melissa's photos. I was like, I see her all the time. She used to bring the dog

here and everything. Why did I make that one? We did. We used to take the dog to Palmer a lot, yeah. I was like, I've seen her in here. How was the lobster bar?

Lovely. Quite chilled? It was really chilled, really nice really nice lovely food much more you actually sorry I will talk to you about this guys we went on a lovely boat day and we got a tender to pick us up from the lobster club or the lobster bar which is this like restaurant sounds so relatable right now and anyway this big bow comes and I honestly was like that's not for us but when I say three of the fittest boys I've ever seen in my life one of the guys

looked like Charlie I was passing out me and the other they were in the boys as in Archie and Jamie like who the fuck are these guys

they were stood on the front show me I think Jamie took photos of them next to me because he literally went stand next to my wife because they were that good looking

and gulping because they were that good looking. I'm gulping because they were outrageous. They come in this fuck off boat. Beringrider tenders like a little dinghy to pick you up and take you over this huge boat like a yacht. And they just go, this is the only boat that we've got available today. And these three fit boys drive us from where our boat is to the lobs thing, wait for us and then take us back. I think I've got it.

Wait, so they were the boat boys? They were the boat boys. I was like, they have affairs with like the billionaire's wives to the Lobs thing wait for us and then take us back I think I've got Wait so they were the boat boys? They were the boat boys I was like they have affairs with like the billionaire's wives the old billionaire's wives 100% I actually need to get a photo

we can put it on the Instagram because like Oh my god I love a bit of eye candy nothing like a bit of eye candy Oh my god where is it? They were from Norwegian

Oh sweet They were Swedish Okay you're not gonna see it you're not gonna see it No no I will I will I will I will It's a bar photo Sophie's just next to him like Jamie literally went can I take a photo Okay, you're not going to see it. You're not going to see it. No, no, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will. It's a bad photo.

Sophie's just next to him like... Jamie literally went, can I take a photo? Stan, that's my wife. I was like, no, stop. Oh, yeah, he's built. Also, look at the boat. He's a nicely built man. Then there was a really hot blonde one who stayed on the boat. That one was quite sweet.

And he knew he was hot. He literally had been asked to have a photo of me in town. He was like, yeah, sure. And I was like, can you not? I was like, Jamie, you're making me so uncool. That would have been because people have never been on a boat before probably. And they're like, let's take a photo with the pilot. That's probably what that would be.

Not because he's good looking. The pilot? Whatever you call it. Okay, anyway, so that was a really nice... I think the boys were like, what the hell? Nothing like a bit of a fit man to just spice up your weekend. Eye candy is all what it's all about it's phenomenal really

unless it's a fit girl for the boy then it's not allowed sorry do you realise that JLo was getting divorced I'm like what the fuck I know

what are our thoughts on this JLo gets a lot of heat also apparently she didn't have a prenatal with him so he's just taking her to town no way

and also apparently she was like really close to his kids and then the minute they've got divorced she was like really close to his kids. And then the minute they've got divorced, she's like, I don't want anything to do with you. JLo was apparently not very nice. Yeah, I know. There's a lot of mixed reviews with that, isn't there? But I also just feel like...

This cancel culture at the moment is like scary. In the light of Blake Lively, I'm just not into it. And I'm going to really take a step back from doing it. Because I think it's scary. What? That like Blake Lively's just being taken down and I'm like yeah she does look like a bit of a mean girl and in these clips but it like if you clipped up everything I've said you could probably like everyone has a bad day

I know what you mean I saw this thing that someone said they were like look yeah Blake Lively's like a bit of an arsehole but also in light of like the movie that she's just made like let's not take down a woman yeah that was a guy on the show but also like yeah maybe she sat in the interviews and it should be bringing awareness to the situation domestic violence I understand that but like let's not cancel her for it like let's not go into her personality and all these interviews that she's getting like taken to town with what I'll say is I look at it and I'm like she's probably done 80 interviews on that one day and every single interviewer has gone to her

how's your bum and it's not the interviewer's fault but she's also human she's probably just like fuck off so ask me about my bum I just think I don't agree with

like being like treating people badly I so agree so then it's like we're all then just as bad by like the people that are like

cancelling her or whatever are then just as bad so it's difficult because like I understand why people are upset about her being mean to people it's not cancelable though right I actually think it's really scary like this shit with Blake Lively like makes me not want to speak like I know both me and Melissa like really a double thinking like even me being like open and honest about the way I felt about my breakup like people commenting like why is she doing this like she's so fucking stupid like the word I'm like what

you just can't there's no point in me saying anything social media is so great and I love what we do but like you do one thing wrong and like everyone's human

and suddenly like every word you've ever said is twisted yeah and it's like it's hard it's just a tough industry to be in really

because you're cancel culture is just like pretty fucking scary at least we're not that famous so hopefully it never happens to us but there's not much to cancel no is just like pretty fucking scary. At least we're not that famous, so hopefully it never happens to us. There's not much to cancel.

No. It's like, bye. So Melissa, we're recording this on the day that Oasis have announced their reunion. It's a big moment in history. Okay, right. So let me just give you the lowdown. So Liam and Noel Gallagher had their argument backstage at a festival and then Noel left the band and nobody thought they'd ever get back together.

That was like the whole drama. That's why it's such a big deal huge so liam and no like make their own songs now and like i'm obsessed with them as individual artists but for them to come back together we never thought would ever happen because they had this it was like a huge public thing like everyone wanted them to get back together and oasis to get back together and they never did every interviewer would like ask them and they'd like get like annoyed like oh don't talk to me about this. I remember there was

something about his mum who was like, oh, mum would like love us to like be friends and like get back together. I don't know too much about them. I knew them.

Huge drums. You're out, Liam. I don't know. I'm not from Manchester. I feel like we, and also Liverpool, I always think they're Liverpool, Liam,

but they're not. Our kids, yeah. Or our Tom. Because he's Northern and our yeah. Or our Tom. No, no, no, our parents. Oh, you know who's from Manchester? Molly. Is Michelle Keegan. Yeah, and that's not her accent.

Or my Molly. Did you see our Molly and our Tom just bought a house together? They bought a lovely house together. They're doing a big Renault, sweet peas. Do we know they're doing a Renault? Yeah. They're going to have babies together. We have them here.

Right, listen, I think they're going to get engaged really soon. I think give it four or five months and they'll be engaged. Me too. We're calling it. You heard it here on Wednesdays first. And it's going to be in Dubai. It's going to be on the beach. Candles lit everywhere.

Yeah. In a rose. Maybe a rose. Will you marry me? Done. Him down. Dusted. Absolutely stunning.

About 100% into Dubai. Yeah. They're going to go on a Christmas holiday into Dubai. They've been on holiday quite a few times there before. I feel like it's their spot. And remember, we have Molly and Tom's first interview as a couple after they run Love Island. All stars. So you can go back to episode 23 for that one, team.

Right. Let's go into dilemmas. Dilemma one. My boyfriend is in a boys group chat. I went through the saved photos in the group chat and found countless nude photos and porn saved. I already hate this dilemma. My boyfriend wasn't the one sending messages,

but the thought of him being friends with these type of guys makes me feel sick. I don't want to ask him to leave the group chat or to stop socialising with some of his closest friends. However, I don't feel good about this situation. I'd previously spoken to him about it and he said that he can't control what his friends friends. However, I don't feel good about this situation. I previously spoken to him about it and he said that he can't control what his friends send or do.

But more nudes just keeping center on this chat and I don't know how to feel. Is that normal? We do need to get a boy on here who's actually going to tell the truth. I don't know if that is normal. Nudes. I don't either.

I think that's quite gross. It's a violation of the girl's privacy. Like, it's not good. That's not on. That's, like, completely unacceptable. If it is girls on the internet and some blokes sending, like, I don't know, who gets naked, like, Lana Rose, that porn star, like, what am I going to do? I'm not going to cry about it.

Because it's out of your control. Like, if that does happen. Also, girls would just never do this. Like, there would never be a group chat of like endless amounts of like naked boy photos going on a group chat it's just so weird boys are so different

I'd literally be like ew I'm like a dick pic not hot at all it's just funny that they feel like they need to share it with other people and then like discuss it

we do need to get a boy on here to like understand the male mind because I don't know if that is normal or not like I don't know I don't think Jamie at his age, that's happening.

It would be pretty fucking weird. Toby does not have a group chat like that. Neither does Jamie. So I don't think that it's necessarily normal. Yeah. As in, like, everyone does it, but I don't think it's uncommon, if that makes sense. Like, I don't think it's something that we should be like,

yeah, it's fine, because it's probably not. I personally wouldn't like it if my boyfriend was on a group chat like that. Even if he wasn't sending it, I'd be like, look, I don't like it. Can you just... It's creepy. It's probably not. I personally wouldn't like it if my boyfriend was on a group chat like that. Even if he wasn't sending it. I'd be like, look, I don't like it. Can you just... It's creepy. It's quite seedy.

Yeah, it's seedy. Like, maybe archive the chat. Yeah. My advice would be, don't, like, tell your boyfriend you need to leave this chat. Because then if he leaves, the guys will be like, why'd you leave? And he'll be like, my missus made me. But I think you need to maybe speak to your boyfriend and understand, like, why he's involved in a group chat like that. It's just the constant

nude pics it's just a bit it's a bit icky yeah it's a bit pervy I think you've obviously had the conversation he's been like

what do you want me to do about it it's my friends like I probably don't think you can do much more about that there are things in life that you just don't love

that your partner does but like it's not a dumpable offence no I think at the end of the day like he could be doing worse and he's not sending them them I think you just gotta agree let him off on this one slightly but let him know that you don't love it I think that's key I feel like there's always boys in friendship groups and some of them are like extra naughty or whatever and like always try

and influence the other half of the friendship group. That's annoying. In what way? I don't know, like there could be a boy that's just like, oh yeah, let's go get some birds.

And if you don't like... The single boys are like trying to take down... Yes, but sometimes they're boys in relationships that are just, you know,

naughty, bad news guys and like everyone kind of like lols and jokes about it but then you're also like, I kind of don't want my boyfriend being friends with them.

And like from the sense of it, you don't like my boyfriend being friends with them and like from the sense of it you don't like your boyfriend being friends with these boys like their values are not the same as yours and hopefully not the same as your boyfriend's I've never had that in my life so I can't imagine it and I also think that comes down to like trust like I think maybe like in the past

I might have had it when I was younger but I would like blindly trust it like if they're gonna go out and like get what girls were trying to influence them like you should trust your partner enough to be like he's just gonna be like no I'm all right and if he's not strong enough person then I would just be like that's not what I like anyway what are we gonna do right she doesn't like her boyfriend's friends what's she gonna do I've never had it I love Jamie's friends I'm probably not gonna make it easy for Jamie which is probably not the right way to do it,

but I know myself and I just be like, you can hang out with them, but I'm not. Yeah. I would not ever in my life be like, you can't be friends. It's just not in my bones and it's icky. Like, Jamie would be like, you're a bitch. Yeah.

But what I would be like is like, I'm not going to spend time with them. Yeah. I think we both would be like that, exactly like that. Like, you're fine, but I'm never going to be there. So I would do it like that. I never think it's a good idea to be like, you can't be friends. Don't try and be controlling, them. Yeah. I think we both would be like that exactly like that like you're fine but I'm never going to be there. So I would do it like that I never think it's a good idea to be like

you can't be friends. Don't try and be controlling you. Yeah. It will never really work in your favor and then you'll look like the one that's you're just pushing away.

Keep us updated we're really interested. Yeah. This works out for you. We'll be right back. by 11pm every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11pm Eastern. Research and supply. See full terms at

canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Dilemma 2. My other half and I have been together for six years. He proposed a few months ago and we're getting married next year. Yay! Congratulations. Amazing. The tricky part is his mother. We used to get along really well and we spent a lot of time together. However, over the past few months, I've come to realize she's a really negative person. Oh no. On many occasions, she makes nasty comments on how people look and is incredibly judgmental. Whenever we meet up for coffee,

she only talks about herself. She never asks any questions about my work, how the wedding planning is going, life and hobbies in general. It's beginning to really take its toll on me mentally. I feel incredibly anxious about telling her any information about the wedding because I'm worried she'll be judgmental about everything we pick. My other half is incredible. He doesn't let it affect him whatsoever and is very water off a duck's back because he has grown up with it. I have spoken to him a couple of times about it, but I feel like I shouldn't consistently bring it up because it is his mother at the end of the day, which I totally respect. I need to decide what to do going forward. I'm all for removing negative people who bring you down from your life, but I obviously can't do that in this scenario.

Let me know what you think I should do so I can remove this horrid anxiety I feel on a weekly basis you have to change your mindset because you're never going to change it yeah also I'm gonna say something which could be incorrect but I do think the menopause chat is a real thing and I feel like maybe she's going through menopause no one really talks about this enough it really fucks you up okay it can really change somebody and like there's not enough like awareness around it totally and it can probably like make her like just a real bitch maybe for the rest of her life and it's really sad menopause can literally last i think like 20 years or something you can go on hrt and stuff though you can but that's quite a big decision for someone it's kind of like going on the pill you

know not everyone wants to go on the HIV. I think HIV changed my mum's life. Same. Changed my mum's life. But some people don't want to do that. And people don't know. And it takes a while for them to get

that they're actually going through menopause. They just don't understand that they're not happening to them. They're like, why am I so fucking angry every single day? It can really like ruin people's lives. Like a lot of people get divorced

around the time when that happens. Menopause is a real thing. So I think that you might need to consider that that actually is something that could be happening yeah if you got on with her before and then maybe she was a bit of a negative person before you never noticed it and now it's just gone to a hundred I don't think that her heart's in the wrong place she just might be a bit negative but you've just got to roll with the punches on it I agree I think you've just got to like take it as it is be Be like, yeah, I see her. She's negative. Like, oh, well, it's an hour of my life. Like she's not been cruel to you. Yeah. She's negative. She still wants to see you for coffee and stuff. And

I know that's very sweet. See the positives of it rather than the negatives. And like not everyone gets on with your mother-in-law. Like it's in an ideal world, you're best friends. But like not everyone has to like everyone yeah but you do in this case you just have to get on as best you can as best you can and just accept that that's who she is and you're doing it because you love her son and you love her son so much that yeah that's just part of the package don't take it so personally you just don't take it personally and just think right i'm going into this coffee i've got to see her for like one or two hours and it's going to be really negative but i know as soon as I leave the negativity will go

and I can be positive again and like just do it for him it's like you know her number like you know that's what she's like you're not going to change a woman at that age so just enjoy her for what she is don't try and change her mindset I don't think you should actually ever try and change anyone like you know the let them theory. Like, just let her. If she wants to bitch, let her. If she wants to say he's ugly or critical of someone's looks, let her. Yeah, it's not nice. I just think accept that she is like that, but also stand up for yourself.

You don't want to create like an argument or a drama, but don't be afraid to like stand up for yourself. Yeah, vocalize how you feel. Yeah. I think go for this coffee and then always make sure you're calling one of your most positive people around you straight after she also just lol about it be like oh my god she just yeah go and have a bitch about her to your friend yeah then just go have a good old bitch get it out of your system yeah sometimes in life like people would just stress being like i need to change them it's like just let everyone be themselves yeah also do not

let it make you anxious just don't easier said than done you've already got the wedding to stress about like yeah get yourself in a really positive mindset before you see her keep it brief like you're seeing her for an hour max that's all it has to be try and get other topics of conversation that it doesn't matter if she's negative about because you're not going you don't really care like talk about the weather or talk about politics like things that probably aren't going to pass you know what is quite a weird reverse psychology thing if you sit down and be like oh i've just left my friend who is just the most negative person whatever i say she says something negative and then it will make her think oh shit well i'm a bit like that i'm not going to say anything negative today do Do you know what I mean?

Try it. Try that. I think that will, like, hopefully make her then be a bit more self-aware. I love that. That's actually really good. I've done that to so many people before. What about negative? About, like, anything that I know that they're like, I will then have a slight bitch to them about someone else

that's completely kind of, like, made up. I'm trying to think if you've ever done that to me. No, I've never done it to you. I think you have before been like, oh, I've just ever done that to me no I've never done it to you I think you have before been like oh I've just left no no I've never done it to you you're such a positive Holly I feel like I've been around you whilst you've done it probably like I've defo heard you but like it's just something like also like it makes people like understand how you feel it's like you're telling them how something makes you feel without insulting them that it's actually them doing it to you do you know what I mean it's like I would definitely be using that but also you could do it in like every different way to be like I've just been with this person

oh she doesn't talk about herself there is someone in my life who always talks about themselves I knew the next time I saw her like that's what I was going to do so I did and then it did help no way a little bit I said I was like oh my gosh this person they just never asked me any questions about me all they do is talk about themselves and it did help a bit a bit and then she's not much but it the penny dropped slightly it did it did you like at least also you know what you leave these conversations in these situations and you think you know thank god i'm not like that because it's so draining to be around. Thank God I'm someone who hopefully lifts someone up or like as valued in some way.

I agree, yeah. You know, some people are like drainers, right? Is that what they call them? Some people are like battery suckers and some people are chargers. Oh, I love that. Keep us updated though. Yeah, please.

Just enjoy this part of your life because you're only going to get married once, hopefully, and you to have a gorgeous time planning in your life forever she's in your life forever and you love your fiance as you said he's great so just focus on him and being in love exactly the focus on the positives don't don't let her bring you down yeah we did have a similar dilemma when my sister sat in for melissa earlier this year and if you want to hear her advice on what she would do then go back and listen to episode 35 and it was a good one so we've got a friend dilemma me and my friend became friends during uni and have been friends almost seven years we were really close for a good few years but now things have changed my friend was in a long-term relationship with a

man who messed her around and she was devastated with how the relationship ended but moved on quite quickly to a man who became her now husband oh lovely previously this friend has made nasty remarks on how i am too obsessed with my boyfriends i ignored her comments because i knew at the time her ex was super neglectful of her and never took her on dates or made her feel special like my exes did on the night she got engaged to her now husband she told me that she cried because she thought she was always going to marry her ex. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I said that she was moving on very quickly

and that there was no rush to take the relationship to the next level so soon, especially as she's only been broken up with her ex for a year ago. Oh, shh. That's for long. That is soon. You're only getting over someone, really. So when she got married, I was super hands-on. I made sure that I was the first person at the venue and that I was always there to help with anything that she needed.

But since her wedding she has made no effort with me. She always says she's busy and takes a week to reply to my texts. Sometimes I call her and she tells me she's just chilling at home waiting for her husband or that she can't make plans because her husband has asked her to cook for him. This bothers me because she has made comments about me being obsessed with my men, yet her life now revolves around her husband. I hate the fact she's become her husband's every beck and call. Her lack of effort towards me since her wedding made me feel like she has zero care for our friendship. I previously told her how I was feeling and she said that her life is super different and that as I wasn't married, I wouldn't understand.

Oh, I fucking hate it when people say shit like that. It's so patronising. So demeaning. Like, all it is is a fucking piece of paper that you've scribbled on. Am I deeping it too much or is she using these kind of excuses to phase me out? She never texts me first unless she needs something and is not there for me like I have been through the years. She's been married for less than a year and we've only met at once. She lives 30 minutes away. Am I being dramatic or am I feelings valid? Feelings are so valid valid i would just call her out

and if she doesn't want to do anything you've got to move on she's not being your mate anymore like i don't know why i don't know what this happens sometimes in people's lives and there's no explanation sometimes what's that train saying we said sometimes people just get off the train and that's fine yeah it's so great sometimes people just get off the train and listen it sounds like she's rushed into this marriage she's only known the guy

for a fucking year married him she's not over the ex she's probably just like in this deep like what am I doing I'm staying at home

cooking for my husband every night she doesn't want to see you because she always doesn't want to admit that it's real and that she's not happy and she's obviously

not seeing her friends and like or the husband doesn't like you and she's so obsessed with him and he's just like, oh, phase that bitch out. Either way, let her off the train. I think you've done your bit now. It's so sad though. It's worth sending a message like,

look, I feel X, Y and Z really miss you. Blah, blah, blah, blah. See how that lands. And you know what? After that, you can't keep begging for someone's friendship. And like it is sad. I think morning friendships is just as hard

as morning relationships but by this sound if you've seen her once in a year that's not a close friend anyway and you're barely in contact

like she never replies to your text so you're already cooking so much she's not replying for a week and all she's doing is cooking for her

husband at night boring no no boring do you want to be friends with someone who that's all her conversation? Like she's only going to know, what have you done this week? What have

you been up to? What on Monday I cooked a mince and on Tuesday I cooked a fish pie and on Wednesday I cooked lemon meringue pie. I'd be like, boring. It's giving Brie Vandy camp. But listen, if she likes doing that, that's great for her. It's giving Brie. But she doesn't want to have anything else in her life all she wants to do is cook for her husband and if that's it

fine but you're not going to have much fun out of her so you may as well get off the train too I think so also it sounds like

she's like just being quite judgmental and annoying like you're always assessing your boyfriend like shut up also like you don't know because you're not married

shut up yeah like I've had more relationships than you shut up yeah you've only known this guy for one year. Shut up. Yeah.

She sounds like a bitch. Sorry. I agree. We don't like her. I don't like her. Nor me. Let's just go another year down the line. She's had enough of her spatula

and her wooden chopping board. Yeah. And she's like, I need to leave this guy. And she comes crawling back and she's like, look, I made a really big mistake and I've been a really shit friend. I would open her up. Yeah, I would open her up and she's like, look, I made a really big mistake. I've been a really shit friend.

I would open her up with open arms. Yeah, I would open her up with open arms and just be like, look, it's fine. Let's talk about it. Let's debrief. There is an amazing film. You've got your friend back. That I watched, okay? That you should watch.

It's called That Women. It's genuinely the best film I think I've ever watched. It's very light, but there's a lot of meaning to it. And there is no man that stars in the entire film it's unreal i'm upset like not one cast member not one man goes across the whole screen what it's actually quite a thing like i'm thinking about it like it's amazing and it's all about like her husband is cheating on her and how she sort of finds out and how them as a friendship group like rally around and then they fall out a bit but then they come back together and it's i think i've watched you probably have it's quite i feel like it was made she has a daughter yes but i think the kind

of the moral of that is that you have to sometimes let your girlfriends go through shit and then they might come back to you she'll get back on the train and she'll come back if shit hits the fan and she needs you again you know and like sometimes love is blind or sometimes marriage bubble love is blind and it sounds like maybe he's like trapping her slightly this isn't you don't know what's going on behind closed doors and i feel like if she's rejecting you and you used to be so close like there's a reason for that i agree and you have to just let her go on that journey by herself and hopefully she'll come back to you i couldn't agree more and watch the woman watch the women okay guys so it's been just over two months of the follow-up

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