Wednesdays - 52. Face lifts, filler, and free botox: How far would we REALLY go with plastic surgery?!

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

Melissa and Sophie have gone VIRAL! Their chat about English Boy vs American Boy chat got picked up by the huge ‘BFFs Podcast’, and the girls respond to what Dave Portnoy, Josh Richards, and Brianna Chickenfry had to say about them.They also confess to going two days without brushing their teeth—would you share a toothbrush? Or even... a razor? And after Real Housewife of Orange County Tamra Judge showed off her brow lift, the girls spill their thoughts on cosmetic surgery, and offer up some wise words that you need to hear.On to the dilemmas! We have a Tiny who doesn’t think it is much to ask for a wedding gift — but are they a must? Sophie shares a juicy story from her own wedding. Plus, how do you handle a housemate whose new BF turns your space into PDA central? The girls offer advice on whether to simply look the other way or maybe shake things up and make it just as awkward for them!Want More?! Check out our premium subscription The Follow Up - AD FREE, BONUS EPS and ALL the goss wednesdays.supercast.com/If you have one or a dilemma, any personal advice for another Tiny, or a follow up to a dilemma? You can send us a voice note or message using the link here.--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Producer & Editor: @ben_johnsAssistant Producer: @gurlinaheer_Exec: @jemimarathbone and Holly NewsonVideo editor: @jakeji.pVideo editor: @lizziemccarthySocial: @laurabcoughlan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded. Or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either, and we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts in anything in anything in fact we just challenge all the shit so and we love giving

you guys advice but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help coming up on this week's episode of wednesday. We are clapping back to the viral clip of King podcasting Dave Portnoy speaking about our podcast and they were savage to Melissa. And we're also chatting about how far we'd go with cosmetic surgery and what we really think about aging. On the Dilemma Front, we're talking wedding guest gift etiquette and I'm letting you in on a shocking stat from mine and Jamie's wedding. And we're also helping out with a tiny who is having to deal with her housemates new boyfriend being all over her all the time. Enjoy the app! Welcome back to Wednesdays. I'm just going to start it off by saying that I've had two matches. Now I can drink sometimes four coffees a day and feel nothing. Do you remember that time we went

to Wimbledon and I was downing the black coffee? Oh my god, she had like four or five black coffees. And I was like still exhausted, eyes like closing. Today, I genuinely feel like I need to run a marathon.

It's weird, isn't it? I also think it's so hormone dependent. Yeah, I'm about to come home and be weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why. Which I'm thrilled about

because I've got a wedding and I'm like, it cuts off in the day. Oh my god, how upsetting if it's your wedding day and you're in it. I did.

I came on my period on my wedding day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My friend's about to have the same thing. And she's like, I need to like try and like do something to like adjust my hormones so that it doesn't happen on my wedding day. My sister took a pill. She was going to be on and she went to the doctor and they gave her a certain... Yeah, they do that for swimmers. And she did it.

And like, I just think... Why not? Why the frick not? I don't know why that didn't bother me. I also wasn't that bloated. But like, had I been on my period now on a normal day, I got away with it on that particular day. You were fine. the freaking I don't know why that didn't bother me I also wasn't that bloated but like had I been on my own

now on a normal day I got away with it on that particular day you were fine

this is an insider fact Soph forgot nude underwear to her Spanish wedding oh yeah and her mum

sacrificed the only pair of she was like I was going to wear these but I'm going to have to

give them to you now so I don't know what your mum did she went and got

her underwear oh no she took them off she took them off yeah to give to you I was like you were like come on I'm the bride have to give them to you now. So I don't know what your mum did. She went and got her underwear. Oh, no, she took them off. She took them off, yeah. To give to you. I was like, you were like, come on, I'm the bride. Oh, my God, no. So basically, I didn't wear underwear for the lace dress.

I went commando. No, you didn't. I watched you put them on. What? I watched you put that new pair of underwear on. No, no. Because you were on your fucking period. Oh, you're right, you're right, you're right.

That's probably why, because you hadn't planned for that to happen. So you were like I won't need the underwear for that dress but then my second dress that skirt had the big slit like boy I didn't plan for any

I was so just that's something that's so minor like that's the one thing like you know you forget to pack toothpaste sometimes you can so easily forget

to pack underwear toothpaste is like a regular occurrence I just never bring it oh so it's a nightmare I never bring it and you just always think the other person's gonna bring it

same and then you're like and then have you ever called reception and they're like we don't have it and I'm like are we in Paris

no Sophie and I didn't brush our teeth for two nights no guys it was so and we had chewing gums it wasn't two nights

so we dry brushed it was a night we got in late and we couldn't get it we got home we got back we called the reception three times

and they didn't come three times we called him and he promised he was on his way he bloody wasn't because we never got the toothpaste sleeping and not brushing your teeth there's actually nothing worse it's that furry tooth feeling you know what shocks me it's like there's so many of my friends that I know and I've been in the situation like at uni in particular when they would have one night stands and they would just hang out all day and I'd be like so when did you brush your teeth and I asked and they're like oh I didn't and I forgot I'm like you like had sex again I can't I know I'm the same also you think boys don't know just morning breath they do can I just tell

you what I absolutely do I obviously like slept with people like I'm not no way like no way and have been in that experience but I haven't told people, but I would just go in and use their toothbrush. Their toothbrush, obviously. But like, I'd met them once and I would just be like, they would have no idea. Same ease. I've had it before when a boy's been at my house and they've clearly used my toothbrush to brush their teeth. I'd be horrified. Unless I really like them.

Can I just say that there was one person that we both over-isolated. I went to use his toothbrush the next morning and I was like, like, you know when the toothbrush has got like, multi... The white stuff. Oh, around the next morning I was like but you know when the toothbrush has got like mouldy the white stuff oh around the base I was like

no no you know you have to change your toothbrush head once a month did you know that and the sink was filthy and I was like this guy

I can't stand a grotty he didn't live on his own and I stayed over the night woke up in the morning went to go brush my teeth and the sink was like covered with mouldy toothpaste. You know, when it's just everywhere and, like, dirt.

Oh, my God, that is just. It was like, you know, like, when there's, like, shaving, hair, stubble everywhere. And then he had, like, his toothbrush was, like, squeezed and, like, all of it, like, congealed and, like, over. Which I'm not mad about, like, I do that too. And Jamie hates that idea. But, like, it was it was like grotty and then his toothbrush like the stand where it was on the electric was like layers of thick garlic I know exactly what you mean and I was like you know what at this point it is a hygiene problem and then I have to brush it

electric's gone so I'm like you're sick there's nothing worse than brushing your teeth with a dead electric toothbrush there's nothing worse it It's absolutely disgusting. Oh my god, that is deathly hallows. So anyway, that was a really bad time for me. I don't think I've ever had to, I mean, to this day, I still borrow Toby's toothbrush all the time because I forgot mine, but that's obviously fine because he's my boyfriend. I know, but this is the thing, some people really dislike that. I'm not bothered about that at all. It's not great, I mean, it's not ideal, but I'd rather do that than not brush my teeth. Do you know what I mean? I'm not bothered about it. Like, when I went to, when I was rather do that than not brush my teeth. Do you know what I mean? I'm not bothered about it.

Like, when I went to, um, when I was at Chrissy's wedding, our friend's wedding, I forgot my toothbrush and I was a bridesmaid. And I was like, Bella, can I just borrow your toothbrush? And I saw her, it was like, do you know what I am a bit funny about? Razors. I borrowed your razor. That was it. I borrowed your razor.

Yeah, not with you. But, like, I am a bit funny because of uni days when I go in and my razor was like wet and I was like, oh. You're not meant to share razors. But that's because it can pass on like. Vagina. It can pass on like. In growing hairs.

Not great things. So I think from a hygiene perspective, you shouldn't do that. You know, also just change your toothbrush every once a month. Like seriously. I don't think I change my head once a month. I don't. I would say it's every three months, which is not good. Melissa.

Yeah. Did you see that there's this viral clip going around of you and I? I know you mentioned it earlier, but I don't I always say it's every three months which is not good Melissa yeah did you see that there's this viral clip going around of you and I I know you mentioned it earlier but I haven't seen it okay so it's basically

our chat about American boy v English boy and how we prefer English boy chat and we think American boy chat stinks

and these guys stinks that's very American of you and so this podcast which is called BFFs and it's hosted by Dave Portnoy

Josh Richards, and Brie Chicken Fry. Okay. Discuss our clip. I know that guy. He's the one that does The Cool Haddaddy. Yeah, he owned Barstool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to see the clip? And he does the pizza. He does the pizza. He's a bit of a savage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. A few weeks ago,

BFF discussed whether or not English women like American boys the same way American women like English men. Since then, a podcast called Wednesdays hosted by two English women, Sophie boys the same way American women like English men. Since then, a podcast called Wednesdays, hosted by two English women, Sophie Haboo and Melissa Tatum, discussed the topic. I could personally never be attracted to an American boy because their personality and their humor,

for me personally, I find just icky. American boy chat is like, hey, how are you? You look like a stand-up girl. I bet you went to school and got really good grades. And how are your family? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Whereas a boy's like, what's happening?

What's happening, girls? You all right? So they're saying they don't like American boys. But their logic didn't make an ounce of sense. My perfect sense to me. Hopefully they redeem themselves and make this really funny. What holes are you poking into their logic dave guys go up like well how's your family you're a nice girl like what are they talking

about that's yeah no i i've never ever opened up a conversation being like you look like a girl that got good grades yeah that's fucking what are we talking about craziest line i've ever heard and instantly you sound like a creep that's into school girls. I think they've taken that too literally. As if they're kind of giving American chat. Like, that's crazy. It is American chat, isn't it? That girl looks like a supermodel, though. Which one? The one on the bottom of the sheet.

I mean, they're both beautiful, but the other one, I was like, oh my gosh. Which one? The one with the mole. What do you guess? This one? The first one. Her?

Her. Oh, I thought you were going to say the other one. Really? Really? She's so sure. She's like, sure. And he's like, really? I thought you were going to say the other one. Really? Really? She's so shocked. She's like, sure. And he's like, really? I thought you were going to say the other one.

To be fair, Dave Portnoy is really fit. So, like, I get it. Fair enough. I mean, she's gorgeous, too. But the other girl to me looks like, what's her name? Cindy Crawford? Sorry. That's crazy.

You don't think she looks like a supermodel? No. Again, he's stunning. So I understand he's judgmental. How girls look. No, she looks like the one that dates, maybe I'm saying the wrong person. Kai Gerber? The one that dates Austin Butler?

No. I think so. Kai Gerber and the girl, they kind of have a little bit of similarities. That looks like the girl in the podcast to me. An ugly version, maybe. The guy said she did. Oh, sweet boy. Like, I couldn't even pay attention to what she was saying because I was just thinking how pretty she was.

Can I see this girl again? Her? This one. She does not look like Kai Gerber. It's because of the mole? Even without the mole, she's stunning. I'm not saying she's ugly, but the Crawfords, Kai Gerber, please. I don't know.

She looks like a supermod on their name. Thank you so much Brie for being such a babe and being so sweet and very complimentary. I've genuinely never had a girlfriend like that in my entire life like you're a lovely lovely girl and you're also very gorgeous It's a really good podcast. I actually really like Dave Portnoy's stuff so

Yeah same and I'm best as Pete's sister You didn't even call me ugly But to be discussing the fact that American boy chat's obviously good but then only to be talking about the fact that he doesn't

think I'm good looking and that's all they could talk about kind of proves my point a bit. Yeah, yeah, really shit chat. I'm like, well, God,

why are you talking about the way that we look so much? And also, just like they took it so seriously. They were like, listening to her.

I know, also, it's only our opinion. Like, I'm sure there's so many English girls that love American boys chat. We just don't like I'm sure there's so many English girls that love American boys chat we just don't I'm sure they

fucking hate English girl chat do you know what I mean clearly clearly clearly I was irrelevant I didn't even get that I

would have preferred to have been called fucking butters yeah at least I got some airtime you got airtime your photo came about four times

who's the other one she was literally like really she was like you're joking and he was like I thought you were talking about the other one she was like really she was like you're joking and he was like I thought you were

talking about the other one she couldn't be more shocked she falls off her chair she's like sure do not the sweet boy in the middle just goes

I can see some similarities I know I know anyway anyway to round that up I feel like the debate is still open the debate is still open

what do you guys think like are we crazy for thinking American boys chat isn't as great as English boys chat or is it just because we're accustomed

to the English charm I guarantee you it isn't I know so many American girls who have messaged me being like English boys chat is so much better yeah

but let's open up this debate yeah let's open up the debate I'm sure there's so many English girls that love American boys and if there's any boys

who are American and think they've got really wicked chat please voice note us in your best chat at life. I'm happy to be proven wrong. Me too. We're going to remain in the country of the U.S. of A.

The U.S.A.? The U.S. of A. Tamara Judge has had a eyebrow lift and a CO2 laser pill. And she is an OG Real Housewives of Orange County. She's 57. Okay, fine. So in the ballpark. You wouldn't know what age she is

because I think they're ageless essentially, aren't they? I know, it is spooky. I do see these before and after things of facelifts and I'm like, they look... No, some faces are amazing. Unbelievable afterwards. I'm like, what the actual... Me and Toby watched one on TikTok the other day.

This is obviously not to encourage surgery but then also if you want it, like, up to you. We're very unjudgmental. I'm never personally going to get, like, surgery on my face. I don't know what it is. It scares the living daylights out of me. Also, I actually can never have a face lift now because of the morphia, because of the scar tissue.

Neither can you, yeah. Imagine we go to do it and they cut us open. They're like, oh, too late, can't do it. But now we've just got scars all over our face. Yeah, because you have it... I don't know. I also don't like the thought of, like, having skin from my face behind my ear. Well, you can also be paralysed.

You can, like, not be able to move your mouth again after it. Like, you just sew it up in the wrong way. Yeah, scalp, scalp, scalp. I'm guessing she's sort of, like, publicly just showing, like, the process. This is not the after result. This is healing. This is healing.

I'm sure she'll look amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, like, wild and scary. How far people go. That we're in this world that, like, she's showing it and, like, kudos to her for showing it. Yeah, I rate that because some people, apparently there's this theory. Have you heard about this theory where people dye their hair pink or white or white blonde?

Yeah. To disguise the fact that they've got like a facelift because they're like, oh, they've got this big change. And it's a hair color change when actually they've had like some sort of a surgery. You can see like Brad Pitt's facelift because you can see like it's not scars. They're like the skin's tight. It's like a weird like flappy skin. Around the ear, right? It's really odd around the ear area.

It's just odd. It's like saggy, saggy, tight. My family and like most of like my friends, like parents, I've never had anything done. I do feel like it's maybe more of a generational thing for us. Yeah. And because we're in the pop culture world, it happens more around people. That is what we work in, that industry.

Is it called pop culture? Yes. Anyway. So, like, there's obviously a lot of that sort of thing and it's kind of more normalised, I would guess, in our... Yeah, of course. In our industry as such. It's more normalised in general.

Like, it's not a generation thing. It's like your parents, like, if they were our age now, and then in the 2000s, and they were 57 or 60, they might have done it. Sure. But, you know, Botox wasn't around when my mum was younger. No, I feel like it's a relatively new thing. A hundred percent.

I think that ageing is a blessing. A hundred percent. And obviously, look the best you can at your age, but I don't want to be 60 and looking 20. Trying to look 20. You looking 20 trying to look 20 you're never gonna look 20 at 60 and the thing is is like all of these women on the house size like they look fucking amazing but I actually think they're older than they are I'm like they're all probably like 80 with faces but some of them are actually only 40 and because it can age you I do

think that sometimes and you just don't know what they've had done like they all just look the same and it's scary and I think it's scary because we're like in this industry now where it's like do you go over to that side or do you just stay in your lane I think UK's like much better yeah I don't think yeah America's it's more accessible normal I guess I also don't know like for us I don't know if this is the same with like facelifts and stuff but the amount of people that like slide into my dms like hey do you want some free botox or whatever and I'm like are you saying that I need it like I don't know it's like encouraged in a sense and you're offered all these free treatments and whatever so you can actually quite easily fall

down this like spiral of like oh my god I need this and that oh my god yeah and whatever and as we know I've had this huge mishap with this Morpheus 8 thing and I have now just learned less is more and anything like that scares the fucking daylights out of me because I know when it goes wrong it can be permanent and there's nothing you can do to reverse it I would hate to have surgery and it go wrong and then I'm like I can't change it does like, happen to you? Do people ask, give you stuff for free, like, in terms of... Yeah, I'm constantly asked for turkey. It's so mental. It's, like, obviously not.

Firstly, for me, I'm like, turkey's, like, the last place I'd go if I was ever going to do anything. Same. Oh, so you hear all these horror stories. All these horror stories of, like, their livers being taken out of salt. And it's, like, their kidney or their nipples go missing. I'm just not going to do it. But also, I did it when we were like 24. I joined Maine Chelsea at 23.

At 24, I went and had filler in my lips. It looked fucking awful. Oh yeah, we've all been there. We both did it. We got it dissolved. It also, weirdly, I also was given Botox in my forehead and it made my eyebrows like drop.

So then we both had these weird like... Like flappy eyelids. My eyelids already like quite heavy and hooded. Yours isn't. But it made it really much worse. And it looked like I was like knackered all the time. And I was like, and I was like watching myself. I felt like, oh God, you look terrible.

Oh my God, I looked really weird. I looked so weird. I had like Botox, which was just done badly. And it was like, I'm so animated anyways. When I move my face, it's just wild. And then we obviously did the jaw Botox, which like considerably changed our face. That went really wrong. That was probably the worst there is. And then the lip filler was not good tops, which like considerably changed our face. That went really wrong. That was probably the worst there is.

And then the lip filler was not good for me. Some people have lip filler. It looks amazing. Not good for me either. Always like would spill out over like the edge of the lip line and then actually makes your lip look undefined because it like blends into your skin. Just puffy lips. It's all one, like from nose to lips.

It's all one surface. I just think, look, do whatever you want to do, just do your research and don't go overboard. Less is more. We've both been there where we've like, even just getting lips done

and like, what, jaw botox, like it looked, like my whole face looked mental. So just like, less is more.

Do a tiny bit. Don't go in and go and get 0.5 mil, get 0.25 and build up. I also think it's important to find someone, like Sophie and I see this girl called Elle

from Heart Medical who is unbelievable, who literally refuses to do anything on us, which is annoying but also amazing. Oh my gosh, you're going to touch it. Because we're like, can we get this, this and this? No, no, you will look crazy if you do this. No, I'm not doing this on you. She's like, go to a different practitioner

if that's what you want to do. It's not the style I want to do. And look, loads of people will go to somebody else, but just don't. Like, you think you're, I mean, look, guys, do whatever I want to do. And look, loads of people will go to somebody else. But just don't. Like, you think you're... I mean, look, guys, do whatever you want to do. And we've been offered all this free stuff. And we've made the mistake of just taking everything.

Because it's free, you think, oh, yeah, sweet. I'll just do it. Like, whatever. Everyone's doing it. But not everyone is doing it. Someone like Kylie Jenner looks obviously different to when she was younger. Sure. But she looks beautiful and amazing.

And I'm not against it. Or Blake Lively. all she's had is that tweak of the nose job oh my god oh god yeah and like that is amazing and that was obviously something that she really thought long and hard about and then that's I feel like all she's really had and that is like an example of amazing so obviously people can get it done really well and if you've got like an insecurity like don't live your whole life not doing it because you're like, oh, I shouldn't. Like just do it. But like what I do is like sometimes I wake up, I feel rank, I'm on my period,

I've got spots everywhere. She's like, I need a face lift. And I'm like, oh, what can I do? What can I do to improve myself? You know, that's what I think people fill in the trap of doing. And then they book an appointment, they're in there and they go, can you do something to me?

Because I feel a bit shit about myself. And then they walk out with like six mils in their lip and then it's done it's in and you can't really you can dissolve can I say you can get it dissolved but you'll always have scar tissue in your lips which is what Sophie and I have and we've had these ultrasounds done and they've gone there's nothing in there but there is scar tissue from stuff being taken in and out on all these needles you know like how you get a scar on your skin and it's thicker no it does actually look quite nice and I do like it but I'm like you have to do actually remind yourself of these things aren't always like they can't always go away like they're like oh yeah it's only semi

permalinks you can get it resolved I'm like well is it and you know how all these people are like every six months you should redo your filler it never dissolves do not listen to that crap right I think if you guys have any questions we should get l our um esthetician esthetician to come on she's unreal she also does like all these amazing drips and stuff that we are obsessed with um so if you guys have any questions we're going to get her to come on so fire away and then we'll get them answered when we get her on We'll be right back. exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly.

Right, let's go into the dilemmas. Absolutely. Are you ready? Dilemma one. I have a little dilemma about wedding gifts. My partner and I got married earlier this year and we received some gifts and honeymoon contributions, some of which were extremely generous

and some of which are less so, to say the least, and some no gift or card at all. My question is, how do you both feel about the etiquette of wedding gifting? We are spending approximately 150 per head and have to put so much effort in to make their day great. I've been raised to always gift generously and show appreciation to friends, but am I being silly for expecting everyone to feel the same? And should I just let it go? We have different opinions on this. I firstly have always been told for weddings, you should really gift generously and you have to gift. Like it's

a non-negotiable because that person has your cost per head and the thought and effort and detail that has gone into that wedding and whatever they want if they want a potty for money for their honeymoon you give them that if they want it to go towards their tv you give them that because you're not gifting as a present it's literally like you being like life it's like happy life together so it's a gesture and that's just the way I've always thought. But that's also because I've just got married and the lack of gifts was fucking insane. That is mental.

No way. So our wedding, we invite 220 people. God. We have a wedding, you know, it was expensive. We put a lot of... Guys, this wedding was like unbelievable. We put a lot of thought and effort into it. Like I fucking was actually out of my mind like

the wedding's for everyone else and I don't care about the gifts like I really don't but it was disappointing so you put all these things on wedding website and then after the wedding you look at it to see what everyone's got and I was like writing my thank you letters I was like refresh I was like surely fucking not some people wrote letters to my parents and it was so thoughtful like amazing all of my like bridesmaids and my best friends got me a present I would say 40 people from my wedding got me a present yeah and Jamie's like you've got it wrong I swear you've got to think that's majority of it's that's my aunties and uncles and Jamie's aunties Jamie's got parents Jamie's aunties and uncles and cousins and all my br What the f- Jamie's got parents, Jamie's aunties and uncles and cousins,

and all my bridesmaids. And that is cat. Right, but having said that- Sorry, and then the odd friends, like the odd wonderful friends. Like our very close friends got us presents, but the rest didn't. This is a good conversation for people to have because people will have so many different thoughts and feelings on it. You know what? It was quite shocking. My wedding, there was like a fair few people who just didn't turn up to the feelings on it you know what it was quite shocking my wedding

there was like a fair few people who just didn't turn up to the sunday as you know people not turning up to a day too fucking rude with no text nothing which is fine like i get it i get it if they've pre-told you that's fine oh my god you have to sign up to the rsvp yes i will attend yes i will attend you cater for them yeah and it's. So, like, you really can't not turn up. And, like, everyone's hungover. And it's just, go for an hour. Just show your face. Like, that's one thing I would say.

And secondly, like, just lots of people not even a text. Like, thank you. What a great weekend. Nothing. Sophie's wedding was in Spain. So, one of my good friends who got married in um finland somewhere helsinki she had the opinion that people were paying for their flights and their accommodation and there's no way she would expect a gift so she didn't make a wedding list she was like i don't want anything because people

are forking out so much to come and attend but it's my decision to have the wedding but this is just what her opinion was and i was like okay that's interesting and she. And it's my decision to have the wedding abroad. This is just what her opinion was. And I was like, oh, okay, that's interesting. And she was like, we had my hen that was quite expensive. And she was like,

if you tally it together, what people are spending is thousands. I'm not going to then be like, here's a 200 pound. It just depends on the circumstances. And I think there's a gesture

should be made. But there's options to like a small present or something, you know, a bottle of champagne. I mean, present or something you know I just think like I mean look do you know what I mean there's different ways of looking at it I'm acting like I cared a lot more than I did I really didn't but I just think you can't imagine like

my friend who just got married said the people who didn't text her after her wedding she's like never will speak to you again she's literally like done she's like it's so rude no I'm like did I ever message her? Shit. You would have done. I did, I did. You did. And when you get married, you will feel the same way. You will be like, they just flew in and not even a text to say thank you.

Like, you can't imagine the blood, sweat and tears that goes into it. I understand the present thing. I think that you can't really be like, oh, you didn't spend enough. I don't think that's quite right. It's a gesture. Going back to this dilemma, it's maybe disappointing that some people won't get you a gift. Don't get them a gift. It's also, do you know what? Write them a letter. Like, to me, don't... Oh, yeah, the letters go a long way. The letters go a long way. Like, Jamie always writes people letters whenever we've gone

to a wedding, which is so good of him. Toby does it for me as well. It's unbelievable. Every wedding we've gone to, he's written a pamphlet. It's so sweet. I couldn't tell you who didn't get me a wedding gift I really couldn't and I love I didn't get you a present we took you for dinner a year later but you're different you were like literally my brother's name but it's the people who didn't text me yeah or meant or speak to me for months after and then next time saw me didn't even

mention it then I was like hmm questionable if people get you a gift great it really doesn't matter how much they're spending I think that you shouldn't be being like oh it's only one person's gift I don't think that like the how much you've spent on them per person should necessarily correlate to how much they're buying your present oh god no but I think just again let's just do this reverse psychology thing next time you sit down with other people that haven't got you a gift be like god you wouldn't believe the people that haven't got me a gift. Yeah. I don't know who they are, but I need to go through it.

But there's not many gifts on there. It was more of the texting thing that really bothered me. It's probably a combination. It was a bit shocking how little. It's disappointing. But I feel like when you get to this age and there's so many weddings, you do have to remember there are certain things expected. And when you have your wedding, you'll then understand, shit, I should have probably have probably done x y and z. Totally. It's a learning curve. And if you

don't know the etiquette of weddings how are you really gonna know? Dilemma two. I met my ex online we both fell hard and fast. I had never experienced anything like it. I couldn't have adored him more and thought he was the one. When we were together, we would have the most amazing time. If a week went by and I wasn't free to see him, he would always find ways to be annoyed with me. His mood sometimes would change rapidly and I couldn't work out what was wrong. He opened up and said that he has depression, which made things make more sense. What was hard is he wouldn't speak to me about it and our relationship would always take the heat when he wasn't feeling great.

Things weren't working out and he ended it over text, dot, dot, dot. Five months have gone past with no contact, but he would view my Instagram stories and like them despite not following me. That's weird. It was classic timing as I had just gone on two dates with another guy from bumble which went really well my ex says he is really sorry about how it ended how he messed up for not talking about things and how much he misses me I decided to meet up with him and we went for a coffee and whilst we were together he told me he

still loves me oh god I keep thinking about how heartbroken I felt earlier this year when we broke up he told me I didn't have a career and basically insulted everything about me we're meeting up again to go out for dinner tomorrow to talk about things I've been so close to cancelling it but there is something stopping me do I just get over him and continue dating the other guy from bumble who has been so supportive of everything I do or tried to give this another shot. I wouldn't give it another shot. Would you? To take on someone with this is a big deal. Yeah.

Like it's not something small. And he might have these struggles, you know, for the rest of his life and it might always affect your relationship. And you have to just accept that that might be the case. And if you're really okay with that, then... Then pursue it. Yeah. Ultimately, like the ball's in your court like you won't have to make the decision now and I would have a long hard think about it but Melissa's right like this is a lifetime thing that you'll probably be taking on absolutely which is not necessarily a bad thing like if

you love somebody enough like you you love them in sickness and in health but if you just think you're going to be with him for a year and then he's going to get too much it's difficult don't even go into it I wouldn't it's a really tricky one

and I feel for you there's so many factors that can affect it and if you've got something good going with this other guy even though it's only been two days I think it shows you there's actually other people out there

you have a connection with I think if you like if you should be with the other guy you wouldn't be having a good date with someone else so for that reason I would walk away also if someone says something so hurtful and like said things about you and then just broke up with you on text like I get that you've got things going on mentally

and like mental health is a real thing and I guess depression is something that most people will never fully understand and I maybe won't but there's no excuse to ending something over text and being a dick your point there like is exactly it if you haven't got depression you will never understand I've got friends who you know who have been with partners who have got depression and like the strugglers is they can't understand it so like you're frustrated you're I don't know it's tricky and you even love somebody enough that you couldn't even think about leaving them like that compartment you just want to help them and look after them and like be there as sport but if you're even doubting I just don't think it's right personally but it is up to you and I would make that decision yourself but I

think if you're having a date with some other guy and you're enjoying it I think it doesn't feel like you're in it enough to make it work with the guy who's got depression yeah I personally don't think I would go on this dinner nor me probably too late by the time this episode goes out you've probably already gone to dinner with him but sometimes when you've got a light that was lit it can be relit quite easily and you sound like you really loved him so it's difficult I've never dated or been with someone who's experienced depression so I don't feel like I can fully answer this because I just never experienced it however you know Jamie's been very vocal about it he's gone through really like dark periods where he's been like insanely

anxious and like I just think you've got to be there you don't have to fix it you don't have to understand it you just have to be there yeah and like it's not easy for the other half like it never is but like this too shall pass like it will go depression might be different I'm not a doctor so I feel really I don't know about this yeah it might be a different it might be a whole different thing but ultimately if you love him enough as Sophie said in sickness and health you choose to fall in love with that part of them like Sophie and I've had you choose to fall in love with that part of them like Sophie and I have had to choose to fall in love

with the parts of Toby and Jamie that are anxious every now and then because that's a part of who they are so you have to just fall in love with that

and be okay with it and not even be you know it has to be just a part of them you can't use it any of that the more I use it as a negative

and he also needs to work on himself and not channel that as anger towards you and allow that to take your relationship, to take the heat of it. I actually think that's a really good point. Like, I personally, if I was in this situation, would be like, look, I'll support you, but you have to help yourself. Like, I want you to go to therapy.

I want you to do what the therapist says. I want you to, you know, if you're vaping or like, I don't know, do things that are helping. Let's go to the gym. Let's be positive. Let's implement all these things. I'd want to see want to see like active changes and there's only so much you can help somebody and so I guess that's a starting point you can only be a support team if you're in a good place so like always prioritize your own mental health 100% if it's affecting that then you know you know what the right thing to do is. But keep us updated. Yes, please.

Okay, dilemma three. I've lived with my best friend for over a year and she recently started dating a guy. They're getting serious quickly, which is great because she seems genuinely happy. However, the issue is that her boyfriend is always at our apartment. It's been weeks now and he shows up whenever he wants to see her.

I understand it's a new relationship, but it makes me feel uncomfortable because they occupy the living room and our flat is small. I often feel like I can't leave my room or relax in my own space. To make matters worse, he's often very affectionate with her in front of me, like slapping her bum and biting her neck, which feels inappropriate. On top of that, he watches TV late at night at a loud volume, making it hard for me to sleep since I've got to get up early for work.

I've asked my best friend if she thinks about going to his place and she says no because he prefers to come here. I'm hesitant to bring this up with her because I don't want to seem hostile. In the past I had my ex boyfriend over which she made apparent she hated so it was difficult but I managed my time well to give her space and he was never intrusive. I know she doesn't mean to make me feel uncomfortable but I really need the situation to change. What's the best way to approach this? Just say something. Me too. Just be like, look, I've chosen to live with you, not you and your new boyfriend.

If I said that to you, you'd be like, at first, but I reckon you'd go to your room and the next day you'd be like, I get it. Depends on the type of person. Some people are fucking stubborn and don't really like to listen to. If that was me, Melissa said that to me, I'd be a bit taken aback and I might be a bit stubborn at first. I'd be like, oh, all right. I'd be a bit taken aback and I might be a bit stubborn at first and be like, oh, alright, it'd be a bit, bit too,

everyone loves my boyfriend. And then I would go, probably like, go have a shower and in the shower I'd be like, fair enough. And I'd come out and be like, I get it.

She doesn't sound like she's that sensitive because she was like, I fucking hate your boyfriend, can you stop bringing him over? So like, you can say like, look, you know I love you guys together,

I think you're so funny, but sometimes I just want it to be us. And like, you know, I love him to bits, but sometimes like, I'm like, I just want it to be us. And like, you know, I love him to bits, but sometimes like, I'm like, I just want to like hang out

and like he's always here, which I know, it should be like, I know it's coming out, like, and it's probably not sounding great, but I just need you to understand that like,

sometimes I just want it to be us two. Yeah, and I also probably wouldn't mention the slapping bum and biting neck. And if I were to mention that, I would mention it in front of him. So it's like,

made sure it's like not a bitchy way you're just like oh my god guys with the PDA yeah exactly I'd be like whoa guys

uncomfortable uncomfortable uncomfortable but if you say it to her it makes it really a big deal like I don't like it when he's actually but I'm like

whatever like that I always think with Jamie he's the most PDA bloke I've ever met in my entire life and I always am like my friends

can you not not that he's like biting my neck I don't think he's that bad no he's very pecky and kissy but I'm so un-PDA so even that I'm like no no we mustn't in public I agree with everything you just said let us know how it goes but don't worry too much I think she'll be better than you think it's just an uncomfortable conversation to have with anyone but try and make it as low-key like slipping into conversation as you can or if you wanted to be really funny like the next time you get a guy over like just be ridiculous with him on the sofa just dry hump on the sofa and see what she says she'll be like what the fuck are you doing and then you'll be like she's doing weird things to me that man she's

really gone to head you know if you were like let's just see how she likes it and then and then it gives you grounds to be like, you know what? Fair enough. As long as you stop bringing Watts' face over every night. Or you just then walk around naked in front of the boyfriend. In front of him. And she's like, what the fuck are you doing? I like that.

And be like, this is my house. I'm allowed to cook my toast with my tits out. Yeah, exactly. Don't fucking, don't look. Or go into your room if it's uncomfortable. Yeah. Then you've got the living room to yourself. School on that sofa. Oh my God. Right, hold on, hold on, hold on, I've got it.

You come out of the shower in a really small towel. I do that, yeah. And walk down to the kitchen. I'll know the dishwasher just, whoop. No, I'm thinking butt naked, tits out, vagina out. Okay, fine, she's going butt naked. Wet hair or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've seen the Jen Anne thing where she like puts the towel in her

hair and then she walks to the kitchen and gets herself her Coke out of the fridge and walks back to her room butt naked. That's the vibe. She's just had a bikini wax. Yeah, what is that for? It's called the break-off, I think. Oh yeah, do that. So great. Or if you don't want to do that.

Another one, just get on the sofa first, wear a really low cut like slutty top. He's going to stare. Just make it uncomfortable for them at this point. Yeah, yeah point yeah yeah exactly or just invite your boy over and be like budge up guys yeah and then just start

kissing him really loudly on the safe front then they'll be like oh guys and I'll be like I have to put up with it all the time from you two because this is like

really toxic bad advice definitely do what I said first sorry sometimes my brain goes to dark places with these things and I want to live out on a fantasy of

psycho-y things I would never do myself which is probably not good advice guys thank you so much for listening to this episode. As always, we love you so much. Please continue to write in... Dilemmas. Dilemmas.

Follow-up stories. Everything you have. We love listening to them. We love everything. Love you guys. Thank you. Next week, we have a friggin' huge episode for you guys. It's absolutely unreal. You're going to love it. So just keep your pants on keep your panties on

is that so easy? yeah yeah yeah yeah keep your panties on just stay tuned just stay tuned you're in for a real treat so are we the whole thing's really quite exciting

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