Wednesdays - 55. “We ACTUALLY walked round like that”: We chat about our HORRIFIC hair choices

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Hey Tinies!This week, Sophie and Melissa are tackling a hot topic: garlicky breath—is it a dealbreaker or no biggie? They also share a behind-the-scenes debrief from their first live event!The girls dive into why Gen Z seems to be ditching clubs, and take a nostalgic trip back to their school days, chatting about those September reinventions—Sophie even admits to rocking a bold bob one year!We’ve got a heartfelt dilemma from a Tiny feeling insecure about her moles. Melissa opens up about embracing her own and gives some real advice on self-love. Plus, another Tiny’s dealing with the pressure of her biological clock ticking, and the girls get real about how tough it is to stay in a relationship just because of it.Want More?! Check out our premium subscription The Follow Up - AD FREE, BONUS EPS and ALL the goss wednesdays.supercast.com/If you have a dilemma, any personal advice for another Tiny, or a follow up to a dilemma send to [e-mail], SLIDE into our DMs @wednesdayspodcast--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Producer: @gurlinaheer_Exec: @jemimarathbone and Holly NewsonVideo editor: @jakeji.pVideo editor: @lizziemccarthySocial: @laurabcoughlan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either. And we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists and we're not experts in anything in fact we just chatted all the shit so and we love giving you guys advice but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help coming up in this week's episode of wednesday autumn is here and it is the season of reinvention.

So we chat about the time I had a bob when I came back from my school holidays. And we're also chatting about how 27 can be the worst year of your life. Also how long our screen times are. On the dilemma front, we're talking about how you can embrace your insecurities with a tiny writing in about whether to get her mole removed. And we're also helping out a tiny who is having a friendship dilemma on whether to reconnect with an old friend but is she toxic? Enjoy the episode. Hello everybody. Hello guys. Welcome back to Wednesdays. Wow I sound really nice in my ear.

Where we drink natural coffee. Yeah so today we've spoken about this before, but I'm drinking a Perfect Head. It's my first caffeinated drink of the day. And you're drinking? A little Gales Flat White. Did you notice this is not a cappuccino? Because I had the intention of putting my little MCT powder in there and that makes it so creamy, so you need less milk. What's the difference between a cappuccino and a latte?

More milk. More froth, I thought. More milk in a latte, less milk in a cappuccino. And a Flat White is even less milk what's the difference between a cappuccino and latte more milk more froth more milk in a latte less milk in a cappuccino but and a flat white is even less milk you've gone for flat white oh my god i just can't i'm not good with coffee i really i've never liked coffee i just drank it for the caffeine and i got us a little gales if any of you guys don't know this is called a tahini bite oh my god they're me and ruby's favorite thing like when we want to go for a little like afternoon sweet treat this is what we get i don't know, this is called a tahini bite. Oh my God, they're me and Ruby's favourite thing. Like when we want to go for a little afternoon sweet treat, this is what we get.

I don't know what else is in there, right? But there's like, I got you loads if you want to have one. What? One of them? Thanks. Sorry about this. Oh my God, there's loads. It's giving wintery, we've really just got into the winter season.

Like as of today, I feel like it's chucking it down with rain outside. It's disgusting. It's a brownie. Yeah, but it's like healthy. Is it? That is delicious. It's disgusting. It's a brownie. Yeah, but it's healthy. Is it? That is delicious. It has tahini in it.

That's all I know. That is brownie. That's an attempt to be healthier. But my teeth are going to be covered in black. And sesame seeds. Oh my God, one thing I need to talk to you all about. I am having everything seasoning bagel, and it's now in our studio. Oh, that's what you put in your salad.

It's delicious, but it's essentially garlic powder, sesame seeds, poppy seeds and onions. No, guys, the breath. It's unbelievable, but it's so strong. But my mouth, I'm like, I can't. I actually had to stop eating the salad because I was like kind of repulsed at this like the overwhelming flavour.

It lingers. There's nothing also like that oniony flavour that will actually last all night long and you wake up the next morning and it's still lingering a bit there no my sister can't eat anything with onions and she literally

will lose her mind raw spring onions as well they linger pregnancy thing or a forever thing oh forever she literally can't can't

I'm like get over it I love it and garlic the more the better I need to I freaking love it although the thing is with garlic

you do actually think it is quite repulsive when you've not eaten it and you're sat at someone who's eaten loads of garlic. What's the trick though? You told me a trick to get rid of that. You've got to make them eat garlic. You told me to eat an apple.

Oh, eat an apple. No, that takes the flavor away, but I don't think it takes the smell. And then some people smell of it and it's all going on. Like you get in the car and you're like, you obviously had loads of garlic last night. You know what I mean?

Have you ever been in a situation where they stink of garlic and you've had to like kiss them no but what are your thoughts on it okay i really i wouldn't mind it as much as like i hate bad breath general bad breath like if you've got bad breath from the food you've just eaten and you smell like that i'm like fine you're staying for your meal and if i've kind of had it too i'm like whatever like we've probably all been there but we've had it i'm like but fine, you're staying for your meal. Oh, yeah, me too, me too, me too. And if I've kind of had it too, I'm like, whatever. Like, we've probably all been there where we've had a garlicky meal. Oh, if we've had it, fine. I'm like...

But I've never had it where I've had to, like, kiss someone and they reek of raw onion. Oh, God, don't know me. And I would just be like, fucking hell, you stink. But I have had... I would just say, because it's obviously a funny thing to... Because it's the food, it's not them. Yeah, bad breath in general is way worse, right?

Oh, yeah. Obviously, like, stale. Oh, yeah. Like, stale breath. Like, if you've been to a festival and, like, everyone's just been drinking, like... Ew, stale. And they're like, get that breath away from me.

You're not coming near me. Dehydrated breath for me is nothing worse. But what I will say is I'll never forget. I once, at uni, I'd just become single. Woo! Single Sophie. And this was, like, the right before. Like, I'd just become single. I think it Sophie. And this was like the right, right before, like I'd just become single.

I think it was like just after Fresh this week. And this guy came to my room. I actually, and it lingered in my hair. He was so fair. I really fancied him. Oh my God, stop.

And I was like, he had just been to like some restaurant and even his clothes stank of like, curry. It was like the strongest smell ever. I think it was like garlic everywhere. And I'm like, no. I honestly, every time I think of that night,

I just think of the way he smelled. God, interesting that it was on his clothes. I'm like, the only time I've ever had smell on my clothes is if I've had a curry. That's when it always lingers on me because the spice is so strong. It was very, yeah, it was spicy. He just...

I don't remember. No, it was a lot. Sometimes, sometimes you just smell like a school canteen if you've been around so much food and it lingers on your clothes also like a roast dinner

you stink off the onion and like the potatoes you stink after a roast yeah you know what it is it's cooking a roast it's like the fats in the potatoes

like you like meat fat you stink if you're cooking a steak your clothes fucking stink oh my god you know those Rome bars that you've seen me eating

before that are like pure beef like 100% beef no I haven't but you keep telling me eating before that are like pure beef, like 170? No, I have a bit and you keep telling me about them. Okay, they kind of taste like dog food, guys. It's like an elevated version of like that built-on stuff, but healthy, like there's nothing bad about that. I'm obsessed. It will repeat on you and you forever, for the rest of the day,

like it's just smell like dog food and it's so horrible. Oh my God. And it really stays with you. So you need to make sure you've got gum with you at all times there are certain foods that you eat that do just like repeat on you and that's what i had the other night at that elf we went to we went into this event and we were very what did you have before i have no idea but i've eaten something i don't want to be gross but like i could not i don't ever burp right unless i've had've had a darko. Something was going on.

Oh yeah, you were like, something's fermenting in my stomach. Like, it was like, basically I had loads of dry figs. And I think they fermented in my stomach. But they didn't go out. What have you got here? Some dried figs. She's just like, got her willpower. Don't ask me why.

I just bought all these snacks for me to stay. I'm like, you laid them out. I was like, off I go. To be fair, we are here for a long time. Well, I i know it's two hours isn't it right anyway we've just come back from our live show which is like our first live show i know it went so well and to everyone who went we honestly like love you i can't even explain i popped them on the floor it was the most amazing thing ever i was quite nervous

yeah well it was quite nerve-wracking but then as soon as we got out there i feel like the nerves dropped away and everyone in the audience was such babes and there was these three gorgeous girls at the end who had met on the day and they had like made friends with each other which was so amazing i was obsessed with that so you guys like hopefully i just want to make it like a big community where we all just become best friends it's giving like sleepover club vibes because like it is really hard to make we were talking about this just before we came in like it's really hard to make friends in your adult life yeah like away from like work because I guess like when you go into like a new office right like so many people make work friends but like

some people don't have that or maybe they're working with people that they don't like I don't know it's hard to make friends in your adult hood adulthood adult life adult life yeah why is that i guess you're just like socializing as many opportunities also i think because everyone is so behind a screen now oh that's true like no one like the gen z era don't go out as much as far as i'm concerned like they're not they're like saturday nights they're staying in like i used to never be in on Saturday night even now I get like cabin fever if I'm staying in on a Friday and Saturday I might need to be doing something I like you're very good you're very social I'm quite not anymore but I'm out a lot in the week like I just feel like I'm out every night in the week and also like where

is there to go now like do people go to clubs I don't think they do. No, well, we were... I feel like our age... We've said this before on the podcast. When you hit, like, 25, things are still really going on. And suddenly, 27, 28, everything just slows down. Guys, 27 was the worst year of my life. Jemima in the room is also saying, me i keep telling everything melissa says don't i get you don't worry it happened to me at 27 you're like what the fuck are you on about 27 was a bad year

and it was a transition it was the time that no one cared about salaries no one cared about what job you're getting no one cared there was no competition we were way less pressure no i didn't even fucking know what any of my friends were doing i was like we were all renting in these like none of that mattered and then suddenly we hit 27 it's like oh shit what do i do like i'm kind of an adult now you now have to think of long term like oh my god if i want to have children that's like within five years oh my god i should probably think about where my career is going yeah everything just becomes a bit more serious doesn't it and it's like oh hang on a sec they've been in a relationship for three years i've not even met the guy and all of those thoughts

just over flood your head yeah and you don't want to go out as much my hangovers became shocking and when i was 27 for me horrific exactly you would not believe the supplement protocol that goes on give it to them before i go out because i get honestly like get slightly almost anxious of the thought of being hung over out because i get honestly like get slightly almost anxious of the thought of being hung over now because i have this horrible thing where i keep throwing up i mean you guys have had me talk about by the way guys i just want to put it out there that melissa tattum used to be able to drink me up like you could drink for britain okay you get it but you could drink so much and you wouldn't have

an ounce of a hangover. She'd wake up that morning. So I feel like it's only fair that it's caught up with you. I don't know what happened to me. I can still drink a lot and not seem drunk. Like Toby always says like, God, you really like good stamina. But I think that's just because my friends drink so much.

I'm used to it. My body's like so poisoned. It's terrible. But the hangovers, like even my friends are writing the group chat from Saturday night. They're like, I'm still, I've still got a headache this morning. Like no one can deal with it anymore. stamina yeah but the hangovers like even my friends are writing the group chat from saturday night they're like i'm still i've still got a headache this morning like no one can deal with it anymore yeah and so everyone's slowing down no one goes to clubs we all go to the pub for a few

hours and that's it that's all i want to talk to you about this in my 30th which we know is a very sore subject because menace can't come but we have to go somewhere afterwards so i'm essentially throwing like this, like drinks and canapes. By the way, I'm doing it with my best friend, Chrissy. We don't know where the fuck to go afterwards.

And I'm actually embarrassed. I'm going to suggest a place for you to go. No. Same place as the hen I'm going at. And then I can flip between both parties. Well, this is the thing. I don't need a restaurant. This isn't a restaurant.

It's a club afterwards. Oh, okay. Well, maybe that's a good shout. Well, but my point is, I don't need a restaurant. This isn't a restaurant, it's a club afterwards. Oh, okay, well, maybe that's a good shout. But my point is, is the fact, like, you know, I know a fair few of the old club people, but I'm actually embarrassed to message them and be like, can you put us on a list? Because they'll be like, are you fucking okay, hun? It's weird, isn't it?

What for on my 30th? But why is that weird? I don't know, because we never go. Because we never go. I went to that B club place a few weeks ago, and I was like, oh my God, no, I'm honestly the oldest person here. No, really, really. Okay, so me and my 38-year-old friends,

because some of Jamie's friends will be out there like that. It's not a vibe, right? You know what? It will make them feel young at heart. I think it's great. I think it's just like quite a laugh. Also, my parents are coming, so to see them in there, no, surely they can't come to that.

No, no, no. I think it has to be a children- section it has to be like the other children but we're someone's children so like i always say like yeah the kids my mom's like you're not kids anymore i'm like i know but i mean i am i'm still your kid until we have our own kids we're kids we're the kids yeah exactly we'd like and then you have the kids and you're not on the kids table oh my god so my brother has this thing and i don't know how anyone else of our listeners feel like this, where if someone says to you like, oh my God, you're a baby.

My brother's like, I find it so fucking patronizing. And I'm like, I loved it. I say that to fucking everyone. Honestly, when people used to say that to me, I'd be like, yeah, so nice. But he's a boy, it's different. It's so different. Maybe.

Like the boy doesn't want to be called the baby. I say that to fucking everyone. But thing is because are we talking someone thinking that and in where we always say this when we go to like these brand dinners i'm chat chat chatting away i'm thinking i'm the same age as god and i'm like oh god i so know what you're talking about she's like yeah well i'm 19 this month and i'm like that's quite shocking for us because they are literally 10 years younger so i think that's okay to say that you're a baby to a 19-year-old because they literally haven't even hit 20s yet. I know.

And I'm there acting like I fucking know what they're talking about. And they're like, get away, you old spinster. Like, why are you here? You're married. I think to a girl, I don't know how you guys feel about it. Maybe we should take a vote.

Like, is that a patronising, annoying comment? I fricking love it when people still say it to me and when people used to say it to me i'd be like yeah i am it depends in the way people say it like some people could be like you're a baby like shut up you don't know what you're talking about even then i liked it i don't know i've never hated it either i've just always been like yeah i like being the young one i just like it and i'm not anymore it's really sad, isn't it? Oh, God. Anyway, I am looking forward to aging.

Like, I don't actually have a problem with being 28 in a few months. You're 30 in a few months. I don't know. I don't have a problem with it. No, now I've hit 30. I'm just so excited. But I will say, I'm going to put it out there. You're not 30 yet.

Literally in a while. 27 to 30 was like, hmm, what am I doing here? I think then you hit 30 and you're like, oh, okay, I'm really in a new chapter yeah yeah but i'm glad you're enjoying it not to put like a dampener on it she's like the worst time of my life basically you should hate the next three years like no not at all no i'm having a blast she's having she's in her era okay so autumn's also here which i'm thrilled about i

don't know about you i'm in poland okay right so you know what this is something that brian ediri he's that gorgeous blast instructor always says september is kind of like a mini january it's like a reset in a different way everyone kind of reinvents themselves to school and everyone gets into like working out again because they're like summer's over right let's just get back in shape let's get really healthy some people go sober for the month blah blah blah i should not know this yeah i think it's like a new trend it's like a health trend but it's also obviously a going back to school thing where you're like i'm gonna be a new person this term because it's basically the

new year at school school starts in september nothing happens and you've been away for eight weeks in summer uh everyone's tanned god i used to because i used to go away for the whole summer i used to come back so tanned and it was like my favorite like it only lasted like two weeks it's so upsetting but because fake tan you weren't fake tanning at school no because you'd be so i actually would be so tan that i would just love it i'd literally think i was the shit i'd walk back in and i was like oh yeah here i am and i'll never forget like you'd have like summer uniform was still on for me and then i wouldn't go into winter for a bit i mean i don't know if it was still on for us thinking about it you could choose you could choose after september but i'd always choose it no matter how fucking cold so i could

get my legs out oh and also how fuming would you be if your summer holidays may be different for you because your dad was living in spain but if your parents had booked summer holiday like right after you'd broken up you'd'd be like, fuck's sake, I need to have it right at the end, sometime when I go back to school. Yeah. I never will forget

I once came back with a bob, so I like left and then I had like, I literally went into the hairdresser and my mum. I would love to see some photo evidence of this. I can't imagine

seeing it. What? Have you not seen it with a bob? I have, but like that photo of you when you're literally a child that Jamie posted all the time. No, no, no, I had it

like when I was 13 until like 14 right into secondary school yes sorry your first day going back into secondary school you had a bob yeah and then loads of girls of my year got it cut like that oh my god no because my mum said took me in and she was like we want it done like Victoria Beckhams I was literally 13 so it was like short on the bat and like really and it honestly I know the one you mean the angle the angle and I was walking around school like that it was actually what I need to see

for AJ's in this I know and I loved it and I had such a side parting like this I was literally like it came from the ear

and I was like that I can so imagine the whole thing and basically it was just all one side like that why did we all do our hair like that

on the side can we just discuss this for a moment how did it stay like that I don't know but I had my parting as you say right by my ear like this and also because we had to have our hair up we would have our hair that side the side of our fucking heads i don't know what that was about and we used to wear jack wheels underwear and we used to pull them up above our

school trousers so the brim of jack wheels was hanging out around the top oh my god i know and you were only fit if you had a pair of Jack Wills. And if you had an Abercrombie or Hollister hoodie. Oh yeah, that was quite cool too. Then you were in. Trying to think of other things. That certainly became very lame, didn't it? And then the, oh God, Jack Wills, everything.

Jack Wills was just unreal back in the day. Do you remember Jules before? And Bode. I was quite Jules and Bode. Like up until the Jack Wills. Toby Watkins is a mini Bode boy in all of those catalogs. Bowdoin? I was quite jewels on Bowdoin. Were you? Toby Watkins is a mini Bowdoin boy in all of those catalogs. And I'm like, I was probably ordering with you in the catalogs. We were probably in love. I know, probably.

That is so sweet. I know, see. Speaking of Bowdoin, sorry, I'm really flitting from subject to subject. I listened to that podcast that you sent me about the Mormon family where she abused all her children. Guys, it's this amazing podcast oh right red handed guys you've probably heard it before but I've now

become obsessed my sister is obsessed I now have it it's true crime it's two girls they weed out crime situations now the problem is with it

it's incredible but I now think everyone is a murderer like I get a delivery at my house and I go one two three I run

I open it and then i go thank you and i shut the door and i lock it and then i'm like you need a panic button by your front door like me it's getting out my door and i'm like this right that's my panic button no you're fucking not swear to god before red had it yeah oh god no i didn't think anyone was a murderer but my sister thinks everyone is not thinking someone's a murderer but it's just like a safety like yeah it's almost like a habit now. Precautious. Yeah, I guess.

Precautious. But now I really think everyone's an actual murderer. I look into the guy's eyes and I'm like, I know that he's planning to murder me, gruesomely murder me. You can't live like that. I know, I think I must stop listening. I've only listened to that one episode that you sent me. Oh my God, it's unbelievable.

What is it called? Ruby Frank, basically. Ruby Frankie? Ruby Frankie was this Mormon influencer. you sent me about what is it called ruby frank basically the frankie ruby frankie ruby frankie was this mormon big family influencer and they would do all these youtube videos on their family and it transpires that she i think she's in prison now yeah they're in prison for 30 plus years she basically was abusing her kids and but but like quite weirdly in plain sight like on her youtube videos and no one really sort of did anything all quite bizarre the american justice system is very different i feel like it's just it's a it's a weird place

it's also just really weird how people get away with things like this leads me to i was telling melissa she needs to watch it monsters on netflix about the menendez brothers and everyone's talking about this kimmy k just went to see them in prison i've seen that all over tiktok right so i need to talk about the fact that i weirdly fancy both of them. So that disturbed me because I think they're also psychopaths. Are they twins? No, they're brothers.

Okay. The whole TV, it's based on a true story. They're real people and they're in prison. I'm going to say it because it happens literally within the first five minutes of the program. They shoot their parents.

No spoilers. Okay, fine. And in the trial, they're saying that they shot them because they were molested and abused so horrifically that they just needed to kill them and then they play it back and it's like the other argument is that they weren't they were just psychopaths they wanted their money they're really rich right and you still to this day don't know i'm like oh my god it fucking finished and they've been put in prison for the rest of their lives and i'm like i don't know whether i believe them or i don't and it's really playing on my mind it's wild but they're like unbelievably good okay but obviously

that can't wait to watch that that's gonna be a little bit of a light watch tonight for me then it's not really light yeah but it's also sorry what's happened to your people skills today and no no no it's not light she's like trying to warn me like don't watch it alone oh my god but it's also quite light it is quite light

at the same time like they're like really good looking they live in Beverly Hills it's not that dark it's not scary it's just a bit weird and twisted

and a bit what if-y I just don't know who to believe okay I don't know whether they got Okay. I don't know whether they got abused and I don't know whether they did or they didn't.

Oh God, I can't wait to watch it. Yeah, it's really good. It's really long. Nine hours. You're fucking, nine episodes each

one and an hour each. it is nine hours. It's nine hours. I watched it over this weekend when I was it. You never know, Sophie's honestly like exaggerates things so randomly

and like, that could have been an exaggeration. Okay, fine. Nine whole hours. Jesus. So you won't be finishing it tonight but you should give a good stint i'll watch one episode absolutely and then maybe i'll go back to selling sunsets i'm re-watching that for a bit of like for selling sunset i can't watch any series oh my god they all look so different you go back to series one and they look so different to now wow they look great but to be

fair i was thinking almost like what it is actually like seven or eight years yeah from the first thing i'm like to be fair it's actually been a long time so obviously they would have changed is it still good yes and there's a new girl on it he's got fantastic style oh good dress is very she's very chic very very chic i just feel like it's so produced now like obviously they've they've all become like superstars in there like you know to an extent yes they're like pretty fucking famous they are and i've struggled to watch it because i'm like i don't believe that you're selling houses still i don't think chris shell is still selling a house so then i watch it and i'm just like this is a load of bullshit i would love to find out apparently they actually according to chelsea i watched an interview of her she says they absolutely do sell houses see

i think chelsea does and people knock on the door of the openheim group whatever like now because it's like now such a tourist attraction people so obsessed with it and they have to put a sign on like no photos they can't come into the office wow yeah i also really need to watch the real housewives of salt lake city because it's just i need to watch the Mormon thing I started it I couldn't get into it okay I need to watch it I need to watch it because

okay it's a whole new fascinating world any good recommendations also for just TV things because I'm like you know what I want to get into reading

and I've said this for such a long time I need a book that's gonna really like it's easy for me to read that's gonna be good dramatic girly

funny not too I want a good gripping story but I don't read, that's going to be good, dramatic, girly, funny. Not too, I want a good gripping story, but I don't want something that's going to be scary. Everyone's on about Colleen Hoover, right? Oh, but I've seen the film and I'm not sure if that would then ruin it because I can know what's going to happen. But she does loads of different movies.

Does she? Yeah. Okay, well maybe I should be one of those. Okay, I'm going to go into our dilemmas. Okay, I'm ready. I'm going to go into our dilemmas. Okay, I'm ready. I'm listening. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling, winning.

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Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com please play responsibly i have a question for melissa based on something i struggle with on a daily basis and would love to know if you've ever experienced these feelings too i have two moles on my face and to be honest it's my biggest insecurity when When I notice them on other people I literally never bat an eyelid but on myself it's

just something I've always hated. I think it's to do with where they are on my face. I try and hide them with makeup and in public I always have my hair covering one on my cheek. A few people have obviously made nasty comments over the years which has maybe conditioned me to believe everyone thinks like that even though I know that's not true i even feel too awkward going to a dermatologist about it i wouldn't really know where to start if i decided to have them removed one day would love to know your thoughts sorry i think your mole is my favorite i used to draw a fucking one on my face right so i actually used to have two moles on my face well i've got loads like i've got some on my cheek here as well and there there's one there, isn't there?

Is there one on this side? No. Okay, maybe it's this side. Yeah, I can feel it there. I'm so jealous of that mole. I used to have a mole here on my chin too, like down here. I hated it for some reason. I always loved this one.

Hated this one. So I got it removed. I cried to my parents. And I was like, please, please, please, please, please. And my mom was like, fine, finally listen to me. And allowed me to get it removed. And I was like please please please please please and my mom was like fine like finally listened to me and like allowed me to get removed and i was like maybe i'm 11 or 12 12 and we lived in america and our family friend was like a plastic surgeon and removed it for me because i was so deeply insecure and i remember it being and i remember thanking them

being like thank you so much for allowing me to do that because obviously it was quite young and i was like it has changed my whole confidence and i was it was so weird at 11 11 i also had one and maybe i was 12 i think i was turning 13 and i also had one under my armpit my mom was like when you get hairy armpits like that's gonna be annoying for you to like be waxing shaving so i also had that removed i didn't bat an eyelid about how scary it was gonna be to get the remote removed anything like that oh i also have one on my neck recently frozen off this is something new you can do that was scary that one as in not the mold like the removal oh yeah yeah because they just like they literally freeze it and it scabs and it just falls off so like the removing now it's like very different to how it was like back in the day but i would say if

you're insecure about it like nothing's necessarily going to change your mind and make you fall in love with it like i personally have always loved the mole on my face and like i weirdly have had people say to me like you wouldn't be pretty without it which is actually really mean but i'm like for crying anyway um but i can't imagine you without it is a really like stunning stunning part of your face i think it's just if you it's like anything like if you really are that insecure about it look into getting it removed like there's nothing wrong with that but then i would never dream of not having that on my face it's like so part of my identity and like i love it so much removed are they freezing it because this one you can't see it but it's white and it never used to be color it's skin color and it used to be dark and as i've got older it's just gone skin color and now every time i go for a facial people

try and squeeze it and then i've been having like drinks with people and they've been like oh like you know it almost looks like people think it's water i know a tiny tiny tiny dot of water and it doesn't bother me at all like i literally to me that mole's always been i've always felt it and now it's like skin color i couldn't care less but just because i can't bear it when people try and squeeze it when i have a facial i'm like i just might just have to remove it then you might be left with the scar that's the other thing listen i think moles are beautiful like think about like blake lively with her mole there like she's very i know anne hathaway doesn't she ever does she i think moles are i mean marilyn monroe used to draw one on oh my god me and my friendaway doesn't she have a mole does she I think moles are I mean Marilyn Monroe

used to draw one on oh my god me and my friend Bella whenever I have a spot I just cover it up with a mole oh yeah that's a really good trick

I just put brown like eyeliner over it and make it look like a mole yeah I honestly used to grow up I drew moles on my face all the time

I think they're stunning they're beauty spots Ruby has one here like exactly the same as mine but here you would never notice it but she has one Ruby Adlery has one here a mole there what a small one no like the same size as mine it's just not quite as dark but she does have a mole by her um mouth like the same as

mine just above her lip but i think it's so gorgeous on her whenever i'm looking at her i think it's just it may i think it just makes people sometimes more interesting i really think embrace it you know everyone's drawing on like freckles and stuff these days? Like, because people are embracing their natural things. But unfortunately, the problem is, is look, when you've had, when you've grown up and you've had some horrible, you know, 11-year-old boy who just, you know, is just probably trying to flirt with you and has been like, you look at your mole,

because they tend to be mean or they say these shitty things. It just creates a deep insecurity within you. And if you can try, like sometimes you just can't get over those things. And if it is something that Bob has used on a day-to-day, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting it removed. Farsi, do not be embarrassed to go to a dermatologist about that. My God, no.

Oh my God, absolutely not. The dermatologists, do not be embarrassed about that my god no oh my god absolutely not people the dermatologists do not be embarrassed about that like that is the safest place and that's just someone that's going to help you with your insecurity but i would say i don't want to encourage you to like obviously get it get something removed because that's maybe not what we should be encouraging but i do think if something's going to really make you feel better i don't think it's a bad thing to consider it and i don't think you should feel embarrassed about considering getting it removed.

Do you know what I mean? Exactly. I went to the dermatologist recently because I had a mole on my leg. I was telling Melissa about this. All right, so I go to the... This is embarrassing. I go to the dermatologist and I'm like,

I've got this mole that's growing on my leg. Like, what is it? Test it. And he was like, it's fine. It's benign or whatever you call it. Benign. Benign. Benign.

And he was like, I was like, what the hell is it? And he was like, it's a sign of wisdom and maturity. And I was like, are you fucking telling me it's an age spot? And he was like, yeah. Do your family get them early? I was like, I'm not even 30. Anyway, I told Melissa, so I booked in to get it removed. No shame.

Would they just lay it? They were going to just shave it off. Oh, okay. Anyway, I'm shaving my legs in the shower the next day and the whole thing just shaves off no blood nothing i'm like it's perfect there's not even a scar i don't understand how it happened i'm like it didn't even hurt oh my god it just came off that's a warning not to try that at home do not do that and shave off your that just happened i don't know what it is it was like on age sports so it's not a mole so it's obviously obviously not attached to your skin it was fucking gross

it felt really hard I didn't like it one bit I'm an old old lady stop but anyway my point is you shouldn't be embarrassed about things

absolutely not I think embrace it I think moles are fucking beautiful so do I I wish I had one who else Chloe Lewis is another girl

and you might not know who she is she was on TOWIE she has like a a little like mole above her lip and it's like so gorgeous they're literally

called beauty spots yeah who got cindy crawford has one her son has one who else has is that it maybe that is it um doesn't margo you know robert de niro has one as we know that's why everyone thinks um i don't even pitch him on what anyway look my point is i think our point is moles are beauty they're beauty spots and I think they're beautiful. But equally, if it's going to make you feel happier and more confident to consider getting it removed or getting it removed, there's nothing wrong with that.

There really isn't. And do not feel shame or embarrassment around that. Please let us know how you get on with this if you do decide to go down the route of getting it removed or you're just going to decide to keep your moles, your gorgeous moles. Yeah, please let us know because we would love to find out what happens and what you decide to do okay dilemma two I have been with my boyfriend for five years and I'm really unsure as to whether he is the one oh my god I hate I don't know why I

hate dilemmas like this because I'm like oh my god it just makes me feel so uneasy that someone's thinking that about me do you know what I mean I'm like you say I don't this because i'm like oh my god it just makes me feel so uneasy that someone's thinking that about me do you know what i mean i'm like you say that i don't know because i'm like god you think you're safe in five years but you're not which is fair enough oh my god do you know what i mean yeah you think oh i'm in five years now i'm safe but you never are the seven year rich i'm 28 and most of my friends are settled engaged and thinking about the next steps however i cannot help but question whether i'm doing the right thing by staying with him as I am not sure I see a future. He's such a great guy my family and friends all adore him however we do seem to lack a deep emotional and sexual connection and a lot of our interests and views do not align. I have tried to raise this to him before and things

do change for a couple of weeks but then it reverts back to how it was if i were to seriously think about what i want from a partner in life i am not sure that he would tick the majority of these boxes i cannot help but wonder if my true soulmate is out there out there somewhere that's like really heartbreaking the word soulmate is like a really strong powerful word and thought i'm like does a soulmate truly exist because some people say they have like three we're renting a place together so i'm finding it a lot more difficult to come to a decision and one that i will hopefully not regret is it normal to have these kind of doubts or do you think perhaps my gut feeling is right and he isn't the one for me oh my god your gut feeling's right i think your gut feeling's right the whole like you the one for me. Oh my God, your gut feeling's right. I think your gut feeling's right. The whole like, you're not even,

there's not a deep emotional connection. There's not a deep sexual collection, collection? Connection and the interests don't align. That's quite a few important pillars that aren't working. I was talking to my friend the other week and we were like, she was saying how like, how sometimes she listens to our podcast and we were like she was saying how like how sometimes

she listens to our podcast and we're like if someone says for example like oh you know I saw this boy and I thought he was fit but I'm like with my boyfriend does that mean we should break up and we're like you should break up and she's like no that's not true but like if you it's normal to like there are certain things that are acceptable like 100 finding other boys good looking or like you know i don't know but like there are certain things that are fundamentally not and if you're this just for me it's like you are checked out you are checked out or you're in the process of checking out and you feel trapped and you feel like you should stay because you've been with him for so long your friends are settling down and you're like oh i should stay with him

because i've been with him for so long and like it's starting to get to that place in my in my life five years is a long time you should always like even if you should just always be like this is the person i want to be with like maybe yeah like i just think it sounds like you are so checked out like you don't even really like him as a person you like him but like you you also haven't mentioned anything that's great in the relationship in this dilemma. Yeah, it's like- There was no mention of- We had loads of fun together.

I love him so much. He's my true best friend. It was, you know, we've been together for five years and we're renting, so I feel a bit like I want to do the right thing, but there's no this, that, or the other. You've got to get out. Yeah, and it's a scary, scary thing,

leaving something that you've been in for that long and i get it 28 like we were saying before like you do go into this another sort of section of your life where all these big changes are happening yeah in the sense that like everyone's hanging out everyone's sort of in a relationship at this point no one's going out and getting with like no one's really i don't know it feels like it's dependent on people's like friendship groups i guess but like in our experiences 28 people are settling away. It's dependent on people's friendship groups, I guess. But in our experiences, 28 people start settling down. 28 people are settling down, as you've written it here. I think there's just some massive pressure.

And we spoke about it when Ruby was on the podcast. Like, you're coming up to 30. Not only do girls have this weird biological clock, where that is a thing. We can't all deny that. You can't ignore it either. And it's frustrating. It's frustrating.

It's like, we all, when we were like 15, I used to be like, oh, we married with three kids kids at 28 and then you hit 28 and you're like i'm actually not even with the guy i want to be with there shouldn't be a pressure but there is i'm also going to wind the clock back if you're 28 now and you knew him five years ago you were 22 23 i would have been with my ex at that point and i'm not like when you're 23 you are probably quite a different person you're such a different person such a different person i mean you either grow together or you go yeah and like i just think in this instance you've grown apart and there's honestly nothing wrong with that and there is nothing when we're starting again at 28 like

you're obviously after like a lot more from your partner and your relationship and you're not getting it and that's fine it doesn't feel like a scenario where you're like i'm turning 28 been with him so long like i want to test the waters because then i'd be like look the grass is not greener yeah it seems like you're just like fuck i'm really you're like we're not clicking like i don't you don't get you're not fantasizing about other people you're looking at him and you're going fundamentally we don't align with any of you're not fantasizing about other people you're looking at him and you're going fundamentally we don't align with any of our views

we have no deep connection and there's no sexual chemistry I don't know what there is in your relationship if I'm being honest just comfort like you're just comfortable with each other

I think like you have to just follow your gut in this situation oh god are we really telling someone to break up with someone after five years I feel like it's right

I think it's something you should really consider so do I I don't something you should really consider. So do I. I don't think you should allow the fact that you're 28 or the fact that you ran with him or the fact that you're... Your friends are getting engaged. ...to, like, hinder your decision. Absolutely not.

Don't waste any more time. Also, if you break up and you, like, really regret it, which you probably will because that always happens, you sort of, like, become lonely and then you're like, oh, my God, I want to go out with him. God, I've never had this. Neither have you, really really don't really know probably not i've never had it where i've like broken up and gone oh my god i really regret that decision imagine if like sometimes i just think imagine melissa's ex just sees this podcast I'm like like dagger in the heart

no but like it's part of life it's the truth he's on moved on happily ever after like it's the truth we speak the truth

but like sometimes as a girl like we do things really differently like how you're doing you've thought about all these things and you know what's wrong with the relationship

whereas a boy's probably gone out and cheated you've written into us to get sort of a second opinion and to to yeah not clarify your feelings justify your feelings what i mean clarified them and justified and she's confused yeah and like you just want to get like a second opinion just to be like right okay like i am making the right decision here you are mentally breaking up with him already no you already have checked out and this is what i i've done because you want to make sure you make the right decision you don't want to hurt the person you're with by making a rash decision

and you don't want to hurt yourself ultimately you don't want to regret it very very thoughtful we're very wise we think everything through that's because our full frontal lobe full frontal lobe develops when we're like 21 and for a guy i think it's 25 so we have so much more experience of like understanding the consequences of like actions and like you can see the future more and stuff yeah so if i was you it's so easy i said the i would just bite the bullet do it because you don't want to waste his time also like you don't want him to think that you know he's sweet and dandy and in a happy relationship and blah blah blah when actually you're only renting together like there's no issues there like that's you are honestly people think about it people leave

marriages with children and all sorts of more complicated scenarios yeah you can leave and it's not a big deal as you say you're only renting with him so that's great there's going to be a break everyone deserves to be in a relationship where they are like excited to go home to their yeah other half and if you're not and if you fundamentally like i reckon sexual relationships that part it probably goes up and down but i think if you do not have a connection with them to me that's like the one thing i'm like you gotta go i mean even if you don't have like the sexual part and you don't have like the connection you should have something something where you're like agreeing and and finding something in common and you're laughing over something i don't know you're not even having that i don't know what you're having

yeah you've just got room in at this point yeah yeah but like don't worry i promise you you're not alone and it will be fine and write into us and let us know what's happening please follow up with us yeah because we really really need to know but promise you i personally really think you're making the right decision by saying so you're 28 you're so young like don't don't let yourself don't worry about the pressure everyone else yeah also like you'd rather societal norms be like okay setting down maybe a few years later than your pals and be setting down with the wrong person then going through something like a breakup and you're engaged or something can you imagine yeah in this scenario this breakup for you is not

going to be easy painful and i don't think it'll be bad no i think you'll find it really easy and i think you'll be absolutely fine and i think you'll be like thank god i made that decision and you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders and you will be excited at the prospect of finding your soulmate because you know you're not with him now okay dilemma three around two years ago my best friend and i had a major fallout. We were part of a friendship group of six, but she was my best friend. We were inseparable,

but eventually I began to feel she was becoming too clingy and expected too much of my time. Ugh, I hate clingy people. Me too. Not long after this fallout, I found out that from a mutual friend that she had slept with one of our other friend's boyfriends.

She never told me herself and since we weren't on good terms, I didn't hesitate to tell the other girls in the group. She denied the accusations and was dropped

from the group immediately. Things got nasty. To this day, my friends absolutely despise her. Even if like, sorry, like let's say... Ruby's both of our best friends.

If she was sleeping with Jamie, you wouldn't even go to Ruby. You'd be so angry. Oh yeah, fuck that. I'd be like... Because I'd want to give you the heads up totally do you know what i mean and equally like i shag ruby's boyfriend and you found out you're obviously going to be like melissa you're fucking wrong i'm gonna go and you tell ruby i probably because i couldn't hold it in i'd be telling you straight away being like what the fuck are you doing and i'd be like

i'm already telling ruby i'll be on the phone straight away. Yeah. God, it feels weird. But if we've grown apart, I haven't spoken in months and obviously you're not even going to bother telling me. You're obviously going to tell Ruby. So like, this is this scenario. Yeah. However, lately I've been reflecting on how things ended. Despite everything, she was the truest friend I've ever had

and I've never found a connection quite like that again and not sure I ever will. I love my current friends, but the bond isn't the same and I don't feel the same level of trust trust this is taking such a turn she's fucking clingy and annoying i miss her so much when i felt a collection like it i'm like oh my god connection true it also like you've never felt a friend so much you could trust she slept with your friend's boyfriend it also hurts that she didn't fight for our friendship when everything blew up. That's where it is.

This is where I know what's going on here. I feel that maybe if she did, things could have been different. Okay. Recently, I noticed that she has unblocked me on Instagram and has been viewing my stories. This is like a full- It sounds like you're in a relationship.

But friends are. Yeah, I know. Friendships are complicated. I do get that. Recently, I noticed she has unblocked me on Instagram and has been viewing my stories. Talking to my current friends about it isn't an option. They would never forgive her or me if I tried to reach out,

but they don't understand the depth of the friendship we had. I'm not looking to rekindle the friendship, despite how much I wish I could, but I thought about reaching out to talk to her and apologize as things ended so badly. And plus, I'm not even sure she'd be the same person I knew anymore. I need to know how long this has been. Sorry, this has really taken some like can I just say that I feel like the situation here I so get it like if you did that if you did so you you're clingy and I'm a bit like

I thought you meant like you're clingy so you're clingy obviously you're clingy about it to be fair I am I calledie like five times so she never answers i'm like oh rejection so you're a clingy person no you're clingy you're not i know i'm clingy and i'm a bit done with you and then you sleep with ruby's boyfriend yeah to probably get your attention i would still i would still be so upset that i even though told Ruby, right, and we all fall out with you, I would be really upset that we'd not had a friendship because I'd be like,

oh, like, you would be, right? You'd be the same. I get where she's coming from. I do get where she's coming from, but I'm also like,

if you found her so fucking clingy and like, I know the clingy thing is the only thing in the world, like a spanner in the world. Because it sounds like it was your decision to sort of back off.

You used that as an excuse to be like, I don't want to be your friend anymore. Kind of done with you. Friendships are really difficult. Ultimately, I think you've got to, if all of your other friends are going to fall out with you because you want to rekindle with the clingy girl, then you've got to decide which is more important,

clingy friendship or the five other good friends. I think that you can't do that because otherwise it's like, well, if you don't like someone, I'm not going to be friends with them. I think that's really toxic behavior. I think it's toxic behavior. I think that, look, she did a shit thing.

She fell out with all of you because of it. And like, maybe she learned from her mistake and you and her had this amazing friendship. I don't think that it's fair for you to never be her friend again just because you don't want to upset your other friends. That's toxic. You can have a friendship with her privately.

It's weird that you're like, we can't even rekindle. To me, I'm like, that's rekindle. Like if you did that, I'd be like, I'm telling you- It's really hard because I'm now thinking about it. Look, she obviously won't forgive you. Ruby slept with Jamie,

okay? And we obviously then don't speak to Ruby anymore, quite rightly. I would then not be speaking to Ruby. If I then too much say to go,

no, I kind of want to be friends with Ruby, you would be like, what the fuck? And quite rightly so, like, no, I'd find it really difficult.

But I think that is toxic. From that side of, it is toxic, but then I'm like, well I hear from that side of, it is toxic, but then I'm like, well, you didn't start it, Ruby did, by sleeping with Jamie. I know.

It's really fucking- It's a difficult decision. It's a difficult situation. I also don't understand why you want to be friends with someone that would do that to one of your other friends. I don't know how old they are.

I know that sounds really stupid, but at uni, I know people who slept with each other's boyfriends. It does happen when you're younger. You know what I mean? It's very different different i'm married like if we did that well poor ruby's been dragged through the mud sorry tim's like the only one that we share like a close close mutual friend with so we're just using that as an example but obviously that would never happen but like if that happened at uni i'm like so what i mean sorry i know what you're saying i think morals still stand obviously it's

still wrong but like people make so many more mistakes when they're younger I think I think just I would feel it out I'd be like look guys it's obviously been a while I do kind of feel sorry for I don't like anyone getting like ostracized yeah i feel sorry for our friend emily or whatever her name is clingy emily and she i think deserves a bit of a second chance the problem is emily hasn't even reached out to you because she's so furious that you went and told all the friends because she thought you guys had this really strong connection so is this because you feel something guilty on your conscious is what i'm thinking really or do you truly truly miss the friendship because i think you're also pissed off that she didn't fight for it you found her clingy she did something wrong

and for some reason you expected her to like be pining for your friendship she hasn't and now you're like actually i really miss her there's obviously like a playing hard to get situation it sounds like you have a bit of a weird toxic relationship anyway with her you're seeking her approval almost i'm like why are you calling your friend clingy anyway like yeah i would never even think of that i know that you know what i mean unless someone's annoying you anyway you then are like oh you're a bit clingy yeah i don't know any of my friends who i'm like oh they're clingy person in a negative way if i'm gonna be looking at this from a really sensitive boring point of view i would just say cut your losses and accept that that's not that

person's not going to be in your life anymore and I think that you're probably better off from it considering she slept with your best friend's boyfriend thing is like friendships are so complicated it also just depends on like the scenario yeah and I've had the same thing with some sort of friends that kind of left our group there's quite a lot of us but some people drifted apart for certain reasons and I think there might have been fallings out actually within the group but everyone grew up and everyone got over it and we've all reconnected and everyone's you know been now friends for like over five years and we've all been bestest friends again but like there was a blip there which is like a two-year period where there was a fallout no one really

they didn't really speak to the rest of the group i think it's quite common it's definitely possible but i think it's whether or not you can get over what she did she did because it's quite significant I don't it's not exactly like she was annoying and clingy she actually went out and slept it's quite a big thing so I think you just have to take that into consideration way up pros and cons let us know yeah go so I'm interested with this one bye guys love you so much we'll be back next week please write in and follow us and subscribe to our subscription so you can get all of our juicy little tips like the ruby frankie podcast and all of our book recommendations because we read so many books well we're going to see

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