Wednesdays - 63. Ruby Adler chats ‘Made in Chelsea’ and spills the TEA on the new season

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

Heyyy Tinies,Guess who’s back this week? Melissa is joined by the fabulous Ruby Adler (aka Tiny Tim). Ruby dishes on all the behind-the-scenes drama of the latest season of ‘Made In Chelsea’, and also offers a sneak peek at what we can expect from the gang when they go back to filming in January.The girls also tackle a heated debate: would you rather your man call another girl "princess" or "good girl"? And what about their baby name lists—are they timeless classics or a little out of left field?For this week’s dilemmas, things get real. The girls get into a jaw-dropping revelation about a family member who, wait for it, stole money from her! How do they think the Tiny should handle it? All we can say is sometimes putting yourself first is the only way forward. And, of course, they couldn’t skip over another Tiny boyfriend failing to deliver in the gift-giving department.Want More?! Check out our premium subscription The Follow Up - AD FREE, BONUS EPS and ALL the goss wednesdays.supercast.com/If you have one or a dilemma, any personal advice for another Tiny, or a follow up to a dilemma? You can send us a voice note or message using the link here.--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Producer & Editor: @ben_johnsAssistant Producer: @gurlinaheer_Exec: @jemimarathbone and Holly NewsonVideo editor: @jakeji.pVideo editor: @lizziemccarthySocial: @laurabcoughlan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Melissa are you a doctor uh I want to be but I'm not I'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists and we're not experts in anything in fact we just chatted all the shit so and we love giving you guys advice but as we love giving you guys advice do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help We love giving you guys advice. But as we said, we love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Coming up on this week's episode of Wednesdays, I'm joined by my friend Ruby Adler, who's going to help us out with some dilemmas.

And she's talking about all things me and Chelsea. We've got a big dilemma. We've got a tiny who found out her family member had stolen a lot of money from her and it's having serious repercussions. As well as chatting about another dilemma from a tiny who's frustrated about her boyfriend's lack of gift giving. Is he just being a guy's guy or is there something else going on? Let's get into the episode. Hey guys, welcome back to Wednesdays. We've got the one and only Ruby Adler with us today. Timmy!

Oh my god, it feels really good to be back. To Timmy, when was the last time you god, it feels really good to be back. Timmy, when was the last time you were on? Actually quite recently, to be fair. Do you know what? That feels like it was yesterday, but I think that was like the summer.

I was in a little grey skimpy dress. Was it August? When we spoke about, I wanted to call him T-Pain. August. That's really bad. The love of my life. Mind blank. Are you talking about Sench?

That's the one. I know exactly who he is. That was such a weird mind blank. I can't believe it was that long ago. Time flies. Time flies, guys. What's been going on with you? Lovely long nails.

I did just have them done yesterday. They look fresh. Got a new little nail salon opposite my flat, which I really like. I was telling you about it. Oh, yeah. They're just quick and they're good and they're efficient. Do they use gel bottle? What do they use?

Well, this is Biab. But not the gel bottle one? Not the gel bottle. Okay, which one? I don't know. I'd need to find out. But I'm looking at your nails and I actually think it's quite appealing. They look clean and these look great now because they're fresh and I got them done yesterday.

They look stunning. But after about five or six days, one goes and they just don't look as polished. I don't know how you've... I have never in my life of having by up ever had a broken nail and you always break one and I don't know how you like opening packages with them and shit yeah I'm doing everything so with mine I think you obviously have to go to a really good place for a start and I think which you do but having strong nails underneath like using a good like cuticle etc but also not having them

too long like just don't have them too long they're not very practical I think I've become I've got nail blindness this is the thing because I really don't think they're that long but they are actually quite long good like this yeah you see how much further over your finger that's when you can tell this little guy and that's the one that always breaks yeah it's always the fake one oh my god okay well isn't that telling you something? Put a finger down if you should get short nails. You really need to just get them short. I know.

I need to just... You've got long nail beds, too. In the new year. New year, new me. They're going to come off. We're going to have a refresh. We're going to start again. I like their nails.

She's got the new road peptide lip. Do you know what? I really want the espresso one. I know, it's quite gorgie. But I've got the iPhone 16 at home, sitting at home. I just haven't done the swap over yet because it's such a mission. I know, it's such a mission. Also, can we tell the story about what happened to Emily Champion with that phone case?

So she was like, got the brand new Rode phone case when her first camera came out. She's like, oh my God, I'm so cool. Like she's on the bus. What happened? I don't know. And she's walking past some like 16 year olds who were-olds who were, like, looking at her phone case and then just, like, laughed at her, like, you're lame. And she was like...

Sorry, why? Is it not cool? Well, I don't know. To us, it's cool, but I'm like, to the young, young, young kids of the world, probably not. Probably Hayley Bieber's probably a bit lame. I don't know.

She's not lame, Timothy. Well, not to us. To us, she's a goddess. I thought I was, like, one of the cool kids, like got the road case. Those 17-year-olds that will be laughing at you when you get on the bus. I just really like her. She just loves it. Everything she puts her name to.

I know, I know. She's phenomenal. Everything she wears, I want. She's so cool. Does anyone know what that baby looks like? Have we had a peek at that? She called him Jack. I think it's quite nice.

Jack Blues. I think it's cute. Cute? I also don't like it when celebrities sometimes call them oh my god have you seen francesca fargis strange names no my god she just had twins she was on too hot to handle she's just oh my god yes i do of course i do and there's this whole controversy on what she called them oh my god so she had a boy and a girl okay she called the boy i'd love to know everyone's thoughts on this yeah she called the boy locket love to know everyone's thoughts on this she called the boy Lockett romance and she called her daughter Poetry Lucia

Lockett and Po Lock and Po right hold on we can shorten Lockett to just being Locky alright

very Essex I like it Locky alright Locky this is Lockie. She's nailed the boy's name. She fucking nailed it. And then the girl.

It's not what she's going for. No, I know. She's not going for the answer. Like James Lock. I haven't heard that name in so long. Me either. Does he still do Jowie? I don't know.

Oh, my God. That's unreal. I follow him on Instagram. Do you? You fancy him, don't you? He's so someone you'd fancy. Let's move it on. Right, that's unreal. I follow him on Instagram. Do you? You fancy him, don't you? He's so someone you'd fancy. Let's move it on. Right, and the girl.

What's the girl called? Poetry. Poetry Lucia. Okay, Lucia's a gorgeous name. Lucia's beautiful. Lockie and Popo. I get the abbreviations, but I mean as if they're actually going to introduce themselves.

So I'm Locket Poetry. That is mental. On my baby list names, I've got a few and I know they're going to be controversial and I know people aren't going to really we're not going to have the same names I like Shiloh Shia and Shy sorry Kiki I think my favorite is he going to be I'm really shy but then you know that song Shiloh no I live under a fucking rock um so Shy for a boy you could call a girl I like Carterter carter very american it's a bit american i also quite like um cassius for a boy cass prince cassius cassius and shy i think are

quite cute cassius of what was that narnia oh that's not what i'm going for well i know but i like kaya for a girl okay i have that doI-A. I have that. Do you? You know from that film. Kaya. Where the cruel dad singers, her name is Kaya in that. And I wrote it. It's a very cute name. I can read out some dog names. So like Shai, Kaya, Shiloh. Right, no one call their children any of those names because they're for Ruby. Yeah, thanks.

Okay, I'm going to read out some dog names. I'm not going to give away my baby names. Not that they're that, like that different. Right, ready? Yeah. I would love to have one called Johnny and one called Walker. I just think it's quite cool. I was so not expecting that I don't know why I just think it's quite cool two dogs Johnny and Walker yeah I quite like that

right what breed would you get no idea I know Toby wants a lab if it was up to me yeah black lambs fucking black labradors honestly every time I walk past a fucking black lab, it's, I'm like, they're not that cute, are they? Like, they're a lovely dog. I'm not like, they're the cutest breed. Yeah, he grew up with them, they bred them, it's a family thing. I prefer a golden retriever. Yeah, but all the hair. I know.

I think any dog really comes with the territory, doesn't it? But probably a cockapoo, because I grew up with a cockapoo and they were like, I know, precious. No hair and no allergies and I'm an allergy gal these days. I'm an allergy gal too. So I'm thinking we're just going to have to go practicality rather than

like the big lovely... You know what I love? A deep bark. When someone answers the door and there's a deep bark, it's scary, okay? Like no one's going to be... Do you know what I mean?

It also like deters people. It does. Even Poppy, like her bark was quite deep even though she was a little dog and like the postman would be like, ooh one's going to be, do you know what I mean? It also like, deters people. It does. Even Poppy, like her bark was quite deep even though she was a little dog and like, the postman would be like, ooh,

and I'm like, well, obviously she's not going to do anything to you but like, it is quite good as a safety feature. Do you know what I've bought because I live on my own, beware of the dog sign,

I don't own a dog. Oh my god, that's so clever. Yeah, I have it on just like, by my door. That? Beware of the dog

and it looks scary. That's fucking genius. I'm going to get the same thing it just will deter people oh my god that's so clever if I buy them off Amazon I'll send you the link

we're going to have to talk about me and Chelsea for a moment let's talk about it it was a different series for me the one that's now airing that we just filmed

I was took a bit of a step back okay you know she piped down that potty mouth. I piped down. I've been very loud for a good few series. I've had a lot to say about everything and everyone.

And I thought, you know what? We're going to pass the baton on, Jules. Here you go. She is so funny. She's so funny. She's so great. She's so nice. I just watched a clip of her and Lauren Sintes.

Lauren Sintes. Having an argument on the dining table like screaming at each other I was like how dare they this is my branch and then it just pans to you and you're like there's really no need no it was like there's really no need for this I think because that argument came um very unexpectedly and even producers were like it was about a boy Tina and Miles who I think it's just aired that they went on a date Julia had made a comment

that it wasn't going to go anywhere and I think Lauren thought that the comment was unnecessary and mean Lauren was backing Tina being like well you don't know it's not going to go anywhere

why would you make these accusations sorry love Miles so much but if you're going to date him on Main Chats and you think it's going to go somewhere then you're really just we love you Miles

no you're the best person ever but like we know him so well he wouldn't date someone on the show if he was serious about them i just am gonna say that that's my opinion yeah and that's what we've seen yeah i agree and that's been the track history of the last eight years okay so miles and tina that date they went on i'm guessing that didn't go anywhere from there i think they're not it did not no so jules was right by calling that jules was always right I like Julia who else is Zeno and Harvey

back together I think that they are from TikTok it's like fairly obvious they're back together on social media they're posting a lot

in Julia's they're always together it's in Julia's TikToks I'm like she gives the tea I don't even think I follow her I don't need to

because she's constantly on my view page I literally see everything it's phenomenal I've always heard this make me laugh she's like coughing sorry my mum's calling me to because she's constantly on my For You page. I'm like, I literally see everything. It's phenomenal. I've always heard this make me laugh. She's like coughing. She's like, sorry, my mum's calling me.

And then she's like, sorry, I'm just eating a baby bell. What are you doing? None of it makes any sense, but it's really like a fun watch. Such a fun watch. I think it was a strong series. Like, I think it was a good series. I hope people are enjoying it. We go back to filming in January.

I don't really know what I can say. I know that there's a potential going away. Oh, lovely. for two weeks, which for me is the perfect amount of time. I don't even know if I'm invited at this point. You need to still report, Tim. You need to pull that spoon out. Any spoilers? Come on, give us something, Tim. Do you know what? I feel like going back in January, there's going to be a lot of like loved up people. Okay. I'm not talking about myself. I'm just saying that like the series has ended a certain way there's going to be a lot of like loved up people okay

I'm not talking about myself I'm just saying that like the series has ended a certain way and I think oh I think things are going to lead in a certain direction okay so also Tristan and Julia there's going to be some labels

in January as well wow okay I think the show's been a single show for so long there's going to be some boyfriend girlfriend situations I think there'll be a few couples coming back

god this is going to be fun I'm watching that series for sure I say this about every new series but I'm going to be some boyfriend-girlfriend situations. I think there'll be a few couples coming back. God, this is going to be fun. Yeah. I'm watching that series for sure. I say this about every new series, but I'm going to- It's hard watching television. You know why it also is? Because the clips ruin it, the teaser clips. I know, I know.

Because then I'm like, I know everything's happened now. Yeah, and you basically can follow it all on TikTok. You can see it all on TikTok. Yeah. Right, we're going to play a game, guys, called How Pissed Off Would You Be If Your Boyfriend Called Another Girl These Nicknames? And then we're going to obviously like- I've seen this all over social media right this is cool this is cool

this is gen z this is what the people want right so you've got a boyfriend let's just put this in scenario and he goes and calls a girl good girl or princess which is worse princess i'm gonna say i'm gonna say good girl only because I can see princesses being perceived as like a bit of a joke because it's so like oh hey princess but then you could just be like

well she's a good girl like she's a good girl good girl I don't know either one's not good in my mind princesses perceived as a little bit more

jokey and sarcastic good girl's quite bad just picture Toby right there's a girl there he's calling her either good girl oh she's a good girl. Just picture Toby, right? There's a girl there. He's calling her either good girl, oh, she's a good girl, or, oh, she's gorgeous.

Gorgeous is worse, obviously. Gorgeous is worse because you're also alluding to the fact that, like, she's quite hot. Yeah, no. No, don't do it. Fucking no. Who's actually doing this and saying these things to people?

Like, are you being serious? Who came up with this game? Jesus Christ. Okay, do you want me to just ask you? Gorgeous gorgeous i'm guessing you agreed with me on the gorgeous yeah totally gorgeous or hun don't care if you call her hun hun is fine hun can actually be quite mean you're right hun you're right hun she's that hun oh hun oh hun stop hun do you want to make me a cup of tea yeah go on hun i actually don't think I even call, like, my friends hun. I find it a bit, it's like dear.

Like, hey, dear. Like, some people call you dear. I find it annoying. It's sarky and it's kind of, like, neggy and funny. What do you think is worse? Him, gorgeous or mate? I think... Obviously gorgeous.

We know the answer to this. Mate is like, yeah, she's my mate. She better be just your mate. Sometimes it can be perceived as being overly friendly in the platonic sense because they're trying to hide the fact that they fancy them. That's me really looking way too much into it. But definitely gorgeous is worse. Someone's calling someone gorgeous.

Like, are you serious? Yeah, that's the worst one. That is so horrific. Toby's filming this lovely lady called Brian at the moment. Imagine him just going, just move a little bit to the left, gorgeous. No, no. Absolutely no. No.

But let's use another scenario. Hun, do you mind just moving over to the left? Yeah. Actually fine. I just can't imagine him saying... Hun, you would never say, I'd rather die than say that, but you know what I mean.

Yeah, yeah. Gorgeous or wifey or work wifey? Wifey is death. No, no, and no. Okay, if you're single, fine. you can call them whatever the fuck you want not when you're in a relationship my work wife no no no you're not having any work wives no do you want to keep breathing it's horrific as if people are saying this sort of thing i've got a story oh she does got a story right come on spill the beans so i used to work at a modeling agency

which is predominantly women and like very female heavy office and most of the guys there are also gay yeah most of the guys that work there were gay but there was like one straight guy who was like the head of finance who was like he was a good looking guy is it like a school theory though like when you're at school you fancy the school teacher because there's no decent bloke yeah there isn't any boys because you're in all girls school but if you took him out of that environment and he, like, you placed him in the pub, like, how fit would he really be? Yeah, probably wouldn't look twice. But there was a couple of girls in my office that, you know. Tickled their pickle.

Yeah. Did a little bit. It hurt. It's. He had a million work wives. Oh, my God. Think about how many, like, offices are, like, a real split mix split mix gender wise so maybe it doesn't happen as much it's when it's like more condensed and everyone's like focused on one person

because that's the only eye candy they've got all day yeah that was the guy in my old office jesus christ right guys watch out for any work wifeys also does anyone have any work wifey situations i'd love to hear some stories stories of work husbands working out in the sense that they just remain your friends and it's fine. But also in a sense of like maybe it slips into something

it shouldn't and the same with a work wife. Yeah. Please tell us. Yeah, tell us. Stories, dilemmas, anything I'd love to know. I bet there's so many

affairs at work. Oh, fuck yeah. Also Christmas parties. Christmas parties. It's coming up at that time of year. Love Actually, look what he does

to her in Love Actually. Oh my God, I'll never get over that scene. Okay, right. We should probably get into the dilemmas. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling. Winning.

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File now at TurboTax.ca. See guarantee details at TurboTax.ca slash guarantees. Must file by April 30th, 2025. Excludes TurboTax full service and desktop. Dilemma one. Hi guys. I fancy this boy big time. I had a chance with him when we first met, but I never acted on it. Now he's got a girlfriend and seeing them together has been awful to watch. I was recently introduced to one of his best friends, and we got along really well, and now he's asked me to go for a drink.

Do you think it's a bad idea to start dating the boy I really fancy's best friend? I worry that I'll completely ruin my chances of being with the boy I actually fancy if I end up dating the best mate. Do you think guys care about this kind of thing the same way that girls do? Any help would be much appreciated much appreciated well this is difficult because he has a girlfriend to start with so i'm not really sure if you're holding out hope and hope is stop holding out hope he's with

someone else yeah there's plenty more fish in the sea date the mate uh-huh i get it it's really hard to lose feelings but at the end of the day he's got a girlfriend there's nothing you do yeah you've got to stay far away from that if you're thinking at some point in the future I would love to have the option of dating this guy and he's probably not gonna be this girl forever fine don't date the best friend there's other people you can go and date but at the same time I don't think she should be holding out hope because you're then going to end up just like cock blocking yourself and you're not going to meet anyone else and then you're going to be like overthinking everything and he might marry this girl and then what she's just waiting you don't know he's in a committed relationship as hard as that is and

don't get me wrong that sounded a bit cold but like I think she would like be a lot happier in the long run if she just tried to move on from that situation and did like open the doors to other people I 100% agree but just date and have a fun time and then if he's it's really hard he's got a girlfriend we just have to leave it be and just go date other people and have fun forget about him you've got to forget about him girls are really territorial over their exes a guy's the same I think context is key I think if a guy has been with someone for a while or a long time and been in this long-term relationship with someone would he be upset or care if his mate was to date her yeah I think he would.

I think morally, whether you're a girl or a guy, I don't think it's right. I think if he'd gone on like a couple of dates with someone and it didn't really go anywhere and like his mate wanted to date her, fine. Like maybe we as women would be slightly more like, well, no, I went on a date with him. I think maybe as men in that situation,

they'd be more relaxed. But I think if it was like a long-term committed relationship they would be equally as bothered yeah and also I guess it also depends on the timing of when the relationship was like if you were a lot younger and it's been like five six years they're in a new relationship they might be like mate honestly it's fine like she's a great gal we didn't work out you go for it so. So true. I agree. And like, timing's key. How I think everyone should try and be about their exes, because if you still care for them, you want them to still be happy. And if you ended in good terms, it's nice to not cock block your ex in a way. But then if it's recent, I don't know. It is so circumstantial. But I don't

think boys are as bad. I agree. And I think to like your point is so true and so valid. I think it depends how long it's been. If it's been years and years and that person is now in a really happy new relationship um or doesn't even need to be new then i think they would be more relaxed and they would be like honestly i wish i were the best go for it i also think boys just get over shit much quicker some girls would fall out over this and never be friends again boys would be pissed off for a week and then they'd be fine. Yeah. Because you know why?

Other guys are really unsympathetic. Yeah. Which is not great, but the other friends would be like, oh mate, what's the matter? Why do you care? You're not even with her.

And then you've got to get over it and then that's it. So to summarise, I don't think you going on a date and seeing how it goes with this best friend could be a soulmate. Let's not rule it out. It could be.

Going on a date with him is not going to ruin your chances of ever dating the friend. Like, let's be honest. That's insane if it does. Yeah. Equally, we shouldn't be thinking like that because he's got a girlfriend and we have to just be... Respectful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blinkers are on.

Is that what I mean? So, yeah. Go on a date. See how it goes. Great. Surely he's not going to catch that. Surely. I hope not.

He's the one in the relationship, so I don't think that would be fair. Please follow up with us on this. Yeah. This is probably a really common scenario, especially at like uni and like... Early 20s. Yeah, like this sort of thing happens all the time. I mean, living in London,

this sort of shit happens quite a lot. I feel like we hear about this quite a lot. About 100%. Even like in our friendship circle. Toby's dated so many people that his other friends have dated and he's like really can't... Like you can't...

You can't... There comes a point where you're like, well, there's only so many people that his other friends have dated. And he's like, really? Like, you can't, you can't. There comes a point where you're like, well, there's only so many fish in the sea. Not that Toby's dated that many people. That made him sound like he's dated the whole of London. Don't worry, Tobbs. Okay, so dilemma number two. Hey, ladies, I've always dreamed of buying my first home. And after years of saving up, I went to meet with a mortgage advisor to discuss my options.

The finance team ran a credit check which discovered that I had outstanding debts from companies I had never used before in my life. I know where this is going, now I've got chills. This means that I cannot even be considered for a mortgage for another five years. Oh my god. Shit. I did some research and pieced together that the purchases were made by a close family member who pretended to be me they used my name details and identity behind my back to take out loans which were never paid back the loan companies have said i don't have to pay the money back as i have been a victim of fraud however in order for me to remove the debts from my credit file i would

need to report this person to the police this could leave them facing jail time oh my god there are a lot of complicated feelings involved. I'm no longer in contact with this person and she denies every single chance she has at owning up to what she did. I would hate for this person to go to jail, but her actions are stopping me from buying my home, which now feels impossible.

I can't believe the situation that I am in and I want to know what you would do if you were in my position. As a reminder to anyone out there, always look into your finances. Your bank account credit score can be very different from what it says on Experian. That is heavy and I feel so sad.

I've got goosebumps. I feel so sad for this person that's wrote it in and I can imagine that this has probably happened, not maybe in this context, but with people in the wrong relationships who have put their name into things that they shouldn't have. Oh my God. Listen, I'm going to be cutthroat. I'm with you. It's you or her.

She's the one who's fucking done this stuff wrong. She knew she was breaking the law over and over again however many times she did it. I think it's all the lies and the deceit. It's also like she's happily fucking you over. Like she's obviously broken the law, which is awful, but she's also completely fucked over a family member and completely lied about it wasn't taking any accountability for her

i'm gonna be honest with you she's going into jail but like white collar jail i don't know she's not gonna be in there for years it's a white collar crime as such so i don't think that she'd be in with like people that are like murderers and people like that right I don't think she'd face a particularly hefty sentence I think she'd do a few months maybe a year fuck her in jail she'd do a year on good behavior she wouldn't do anything you know what scared me I watched that um series called time it's all about female jails fuck me it's scary I'm gonna watch that tonight what's it on I think it's on BBC anyway listen listen you know what your options are either you don't get a mortgage for the next five years and even

then it can still hinder your thing because they'll back date and some mortgage lenders probably won't lend to you because they'll be like well you've got a previous thing of debt or you get a lawyer and you understand what the consequences of this whole thing are going to be like I would like to report this. I don't want to press charges against her, but I need this being removed from my name. Yada, yada, yada. If it was me...

That bitch is going down. I would do it, and I would say to... Honestly? I would say to the prosecution or whatever, like, I don't want to press charges and I don't want this person to go to jail. However, I need my name being cleared. I think that she would have to go to jail.

It's your cousin. Do you have a cousin? Yeah, I've got a few. Your favourite I need my name being cleared. I think that she would have to go to jail. It's your cousin. Do you have a cousin? Yeah, I've got a few. Your favourite cousin in your head. Okay. He's done this to you. She's got a baby.

She's got a boyfriend. He's not that great. Baby daddy. And she's obviously had to take out some loans and she's thought, Ruby can take it. I'm going to fuck Ruby over.

Well, she was wrong because Ruby can't take it and Ruby now can't get a house. Ruby needs a house so Ruby also lives for Ruby and needs to live her own life life is too short I agree I completely accept that it's complicated but I think my gut is speaking for me and intuition is saying that that is wrong and she should face the consequences sadly as hard as that would be and I don't know how you like navigate that but it's also like how do you move forward when she's not taking any accountability and she's not apologizing that if anything will make it easier for you to actually like turn her in or whatever you call it if she had an extremely guilty conscience and she was

so apologetic that would probably make things 10 times harder for you because she'd probably be begging like please yeah please so listen if it was me I would speak to a lawyer I would just be you because she'd probably be begging like, please, please. So listen, if it was me, I would speak to a lawyer. I would speak to like my parents. Speak to someone who's like a little bit older and wiser than you or like anyone that you have a relationship with. My dad I would speak to. Got some experience. Get their advice. Get a lawyer's advice.

Speak to a lawyer for half an hour and see what they think the scenario would be. And make a decision from there. Ultimately, I'm not going to tell you to send someone to jail. But i am going to tell you that it's a necessity to get on the property ladder where are you going to live you could have a baby in five years do you know what i mean like you've got to you've got to put yourself it's really i just can't believe a family member has done this to you neither can i it's not even a friend it's like blood if you could please follow up with us we would love to know what happens next also Also, make sure you are getting, I guess, professional help in this sense. Absolutely.

Professional help, sorry. And look after yourself because this is actually really fucking shit. And it's like a big life. Oh my God, it's a huge setback. Problem. Yeah. Love you. Sending you lots of love.

Yeah, love you. Okay, dilemma three. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. There is nothing majorly wrong in our relationship. We love each other so much and are extremely happy, but there is something that's getting me down. My love language is definitely gift giving and acts of service. I love buying things for my boyfriend,

whether it's snacks he likes or something I see that reminds me of him. I also like doing little things that I know will make him happy, like making him a cup of tea in the morning, etc. That's lovely. However, I didn't get anything in return and I bought it up multiple times over the past year I don't expect him to buy me things all the time but the little acts of service are something that I never get back here here I'm with her at the start of our relationship he used to always do little things to make me happy but now he refuses to do them Christ it's quite one thing to like be so forthcoming and then just like not do them at all i know people talk about the honeymoon phase and

we are two years into our relationship but it feels like he just doesn't care enough to put the effort into these kind of things do you think i'm overthinking this is he just a guy being a guy or am i comparing our relationship to the big justice i see on social media i am with her in some senses it's not about you know expensive gifts and luxury items, but, you know, making a cup of tea in the morning, seeing a card that reminds you of them, picking up your favorite chocolate bar. There are things that you can do that are just nice gestures that just make your other half feel good. Yeah. And I'm so an advocate of that. And again, it doesn't have to be all the time. It doesn't have to be every week. You know, relationships all about compromise. You've got to put the effort in. Agree. time it doesn't have to be every week you know relationships all about compromise you've got to put the effort in agree and I think you know especially after a couple of years when that

honeymoon period could potentially I'm not saying it does but you know reality really hits home and like you're in the rut of life you've got to do those nice things but then saying that it's so hard when you're looking at you know every relationship on social media and like oh my god she's got a Birkin and the thousand roses why does she get five cartier bangles that's not real we have to remind ourselves guys and also if that's the only problem in your relationship you are a lucky lovely like that is unreal because your love languages doesn't sound like they've ever been the same like it's really hard to find someone where your love language is the same yeah where you both give the same things like you have to compromise as well as him so like you have to just know it's just not the kind of guy he is and that's okay yeah but

then you know I hope that he's like pulling his weight in different aspects he's probably doing things that you're not noticing are his love language like he's probably being really affectionate or maybe his words of affirmation something else and you're not noticing it because all you're thinking is why isn't he making me a cup of tea I've made him one

you're building up this weird resentment yeah tip the tap yeah which is not what a relationship is all about no

but look at Tommy Fury and Molly May yeah Birkin, Diamond Cartier APs you know massive great engagement ring

cheating well we don't know that but it looks like he was cheating on it we don't know that but it looks like he was cheating on her they are no longer together but everything was so over the top and they looked like it was just the most perfect life online that's like so not my vibe like i'm also like are you guilty yeah i'm like when toby brings me flowers which is such a rare occasion but like he will if i'm like oh we'll be quite honest to get some flowers and then he'll like take the hint and the next day he'll maybe buy me some flowers this is guys this is just a typical

bloke like really right I'd like flowers I'd like some and the fact that that penny drops sometimes is like really maybe four times a year I get that right and if I don't say anything and I do get flowers which he did once I think he came back from someone he bought me flowers because he didn't see me in a long time and I was like what have you done what have you done like it just feels a bit sometimes like why are you gushing over me or I don't know like it's compensating for something else in my eyes yeah all these extravagant things I know that's not what you're asking for here you're just asking for a cup of tea and it's not much and I get it but something like that's just not his vibe. It's not Toby's. Asshole.

Neither of my boyfriends have ever been people of earth. No. That's never been their love language. It's not normally a boy's love language. It's normally words of affirmation and physical touch. Yeah. Let's talk about that.

What do the Gen Z's say? Let's deep that. Let's deep that. No, why am I going road? Let's deep. Let's deepen that. Let's deepen that. As in let's explore that. Yes deepen that as a next explore that yes let's deep dive into that

kind of grew to just accept that that wasn't going to happen so the expectation got dropped yeah I feel like you just only ever get disappointed when you have a certain level of expectation and then that doesn't happen yeah so you know they both were so different such different people but they made up for it in different love languages one of them was very much physical touch the other one was sort of more words of affirmation

yeah I do think as long as you feel like you're being loved in a certain way you can't get annoyed just make yourself a cup of tea like

yeah do you know what I mean like sometimes life's too hard you just want an easy life and then you don't want to be a nagger you're like

make me a cup of tea do this to me yeah yeah yeah because it's just not on their radar to be wanting to do that. That's not how they're like thinking they're showing love.

They're like, ugh, alright. And then also, you're getting this resentful cup of tea. And then you want them to want to do it. And ultimately, if they don't, they're probably never going to because it's just not their love language. You can't really change anyone either.

I've realised it. You really can't. I've really tried. But sometimes, like, for example, Toby and I, in a few days, are going to Cape Town for a week. Oh my God, when go on friday and we oh my god i have booked all the restaurants he's not gonna do it babe he just won't do it i don't know what it is it's like a fairy comes down and just twinkle twinkle twinkle and it just doesn't happen and he had

one restaurant to book he's had two weeks to book it has he done it no did you book the flights every fucking day for the last three days and he's like oh yeah sorry i forgot i'm like no no no no no we're gonna have nowhere to eat it's a saturday night it's like prime time in cape town like what are you doing it's a fucking nightmare so sometimes you just gotta take maths in your own house and just do it yeah okay i'm assuming you booked the whole trip flights hotel everything flight no we did that all together so we sat down i think i did the flights he did the hotel no i just meant not costly like more like did you have to arrange i just feel like we were sat down next to each

other one another he had the hotel booking and i had the flights and then we literally did it there and then that's what has to happen i have to sit down i can't just say to him just because a lovely trip somewhere it would would just never happen. Ever. Never, never, never, never, never, never. But some men will. Some men will. Some people are button pushers. Is that the right? And some people aren't.

Some people hover over the button. Yeah. Which is Toby Watkins. He darts around the button. He never presses go. I've got to just push him into it. Give him a helping hand. Yeah, let's throw a spanner in there.

Do you think this lovely lady that's written us a dilemma, do we think that she should stop doing acts of service? Give him a helping hand. Yeah, let's throw a spanner in there. Do you think this lovely lady that's written us a dilemma, do we think that she should stop doing acts of service? Let's just see if he notices, all right? Let's just test the theory. Let's not make him a cup of tea. Let's not do X, Y, and Z. See if he notices and go, well, you're not doing it for me.

I almost think no, because I feel like when you do stuff like that, you're also kind of doing it for yourself, and it probably makes her feel good. It's like her making her boyfriend a cup of tea isn't going to take too long it's going to make him happy and it's probably going to make her feel good too and just because he's not doing that as long as he's serving her in other ways and there's other love languages that he's fulfilling why then stop and be bitter just because he's not you know doing the same one as you and that could just cause more tension in the relationship because if she's going to be like well you're not doing it i'm not going to do it imagine if you did that for every point you're not going to get anywhere are you no you're going

to end up being quite miserable okay well that was a really good piece of advice from tim thank you very much for world's pearly wisdom over there okay guys so we're finishing up the episode now but we're about to do a follow-up episode with tim again and we're going to be talking all about nightlife in lond London and where to go. Ruby's living in her sex and city era right now, aren't you? I like that.

I'll take that. Yeah, I am. Also, apparently there's a tiny who has an ex-boyfriend who claimed that he dated me. In his dreams. So,

we need to investigate. We need to deepen that. We need to deep that. We need to deep that. Deep that and see if um that's legit or not anyway you can subscribe now on supercast thank you so much for listening guys and thank you Tim for coming on that was a lovely episode so much for having me and that was a real quickie that was just yeah yeah I know it was thank you everyone Love you, everyone. which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning,

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don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well happens well then tinies we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favorite app. How cool is that?

Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.