Wednesdays - 71. "I’d Clench It In!” – Sophie and Melissa Spill on toilet anxiety in relationships

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

Hey Tinies!This week, Melissa drops a big update—Toby’s officially moving in! But, of course, no move-in is complete without a little chaos, and she’s spilling all about her furniture fiasco. Meanwhile, Sophie gives us the lowdown on her home reno progress and reveals when she really thinks she’ll finally be moving in.Sophie’s also debriefs Melissa on all the new Love Island All Star couplings, which sparks into a chat about those awkward early relationship moments—like the dreaded first number two in front of your partner. The girls share their top tips for sneaky escapes when nature calls…On to this week’s dilemmas: one Tiny is clashing with her best friend, who’s taking her ex’s new girlfriend’s side. Should she patch things up or call it quits? And another Tiny’s boyfriend has a unique issue—he’s always falling asleep. The girls weigh in on what she should do?! Want More?! Check out our premium subscription The Follow Up - AD FREE, BONUS EPS and ALL the goss wednesdays.supercast.com/If you have a dilemma, any personal advice for another Tiny, or a follow up to a dilemma send to [e-mail], SLIDE into our DMs @wednesdayspodcast--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Producer: @ben_johnsEditor: Kat MilsomAssistant Producer: @gurlinaheer_Exec: @jemimarathbone and Holly NewsonVideo editor: @jakeji.pVideo editor: @lizziemccarthySocial: @laurabcoughlan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connects ontario.ca please play responsibly announcement tinies we've got some really exciting news you asked for it and we've listened we're bringing you a premium version of wednesdays that's right and it's called the follow-up if you want ad-free bonus episodes and dilemma follow-ups you can subscribe to the follow-up now check the link in the description of this episode or the bio of our instagram you'll have access to our private feed get special access to our group chat and so much more Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not.

I'm not a doctor either, and we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts at anything. In fact, we just chatted all the shit. And we love giving you guys advice, but as we said... We love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody,

please seek professional help. Coming up on this week's episode. So we're chatting about Melissa's wardrobe disaster. And Toby's moving in with me, so we're going to discuss all the things about that, details. And I'm also giving you a little house reno update. And Love Island All Stars is on at the moment. Sophie's been watching, so we're deep diving into that. Also for for the dilemmas we are dealing with a tiny who's coming into conflict with one

of her best friends and a tiny who is dealing with her boyfriend just falling asleep all the time and it's quite icky enjoy welcome welcome back we're in our faux fur coats. This is actually a bit chilly in the studio. Is it not brat? It's, what is it? Mob wife. It's giving mob wife. We're a bit late to the game. Cruella de Vil, Cruella de Vil. If she doesn't scare you, nobody will win.

So talk me through your drink. Sophie got me a lovely drink. Right. So I get an ice matcha. Now listen. Yeah. I've gone back to, do you remember when I had black coffees all the time? So I was trying to be healthy early. And I can have it. And some days it's absolutely fine.

Other days I can't talk. I'll do it and my mouth just like can't speak. It's like I stutter. I mumble. It's like bizarre. They do something to my body. So if I get matcha it's very good like slow release so what I do is I get ice soy milk organic soy milk bonsai which Pippa said was great

okay yeah lovely and they put that in and it honestly tastes like oat milk like it's so yeah it's nice but you've gone for a full from a full fat cap to that though that's never gonna be nice but that is creamy it's not watery I see what you're saying I'm down for a bit of matcha every now and then

but I'm not like this matcha obsessed you know people make it their whole identity that's not me talk me through your drink then she's got a full I just do a full fat cappuccino so we've

sacked the brazil nuts and all of that shindig that you used to do oh if I've got them there then I'll have a nibble on those in the morning with my coffee too but sometimes I run out it just depends on what's in there remember when you wouldn't do it because you were like cortisol levels are going if I've got them there then I'll have a nibble on those in the morning with my coffee too but sometimes I run out. It just depends on what's in there.

Remember when you wouldn't do it because you were like cortisol levels are going to raise? Well, apparently, yes, it can spike your cortisol but I actually find it doesn't for me. I think it's person to person.

There was definitely a period of time where I had cortisol face whatever you call it. What, puffy face? Oh my God. Made in town. The puffiest puffy thing

I've ever seen. Me too. It was frightening. It's bizarre. I think that was not puffy face. I think that was because we were so anxious. We clenched our jaws so much. My jaw looked like, what's that guy from that, like blonde hair and he's like a cartoon character,

like big guy, big head, tiny body, like Johnny Bravo. I look like Johnny Bravo. If you look like I've had it, it's quite the something. I saw some photos of myself at Christmas, my house of me a few years ago. You know it's actually seven years ago, which is really upsetting how far away it was. Yeah, I know. When we met in Chelsea, it was seven years ago. I'm 28.

I met you when I was 20. What the F? I'm 30. I met you when I was 22. I will say I wouldn't mind going back on it now they're all in the Maldives. I know, the Maldives looks absolutely stunning,

doesn't it? Okay, right, we need to just talk about a few things. Okay, come on. Hit me then, sister. What's been going on? Huge news.

So, I don't know when this airs, maybe it won't have officially happened, but Toby's pretty much moved in already, if I'm honest. But from Feb,

we're going to be officially... Yeah, so his rent ends end of Jan, as in terms of that. I understand. But he's pretty much in. Yeah, so his rent ends end of Jan. As in like in terms of that. I understand. But like he's pretty much in now. We came back from Founders End. He's like, do I just unpack here?

Rather than going home, unpacking and bringing it all back in two weeks. I was like, yeah, fair. I have to go through now my space because I've been very spot and I've had my space and it's just been all for me. And I filled it. And like when you have the space there, you fill it, right? And I had all my clothes like organized, spread it was really nice so now I'm like shit anyway we had this new chest of drawers arriving ordered them for Christmas to come under my tv in my room I've been meaning to do this ever since I moved in just never got around to ordering the right set

I was like flapping quite a bit before the people came to he was like why are you like pacing and I was like I'm just a bit anxious he was like why and I was like I'm now just having doubts I didn't measure the spot that the drawers are meant to go in he was like what I'm like no no it'll be fine I definitely measured it like I obviously definitely measured it what do you mean is it just like a slot they have to sit in between my wardrobes so I'm like pacing and I'm like oh fucking hell and then they come in this chest of drawers guys is so heavy it's got like a whole marble top so it's so fucking heavy the wood is thick there was five blokes getting this chest of drawers out they have to go one step at a time because it's so heavy it was such a palaver getting this chest of drawers in

and then one of the guys comes down he goes you sure it's gonna fit love and I'm like uh yeah yeah yeah it's gonna fit doesn, love? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's going to fit. It doesn't fucking fit, guys. I don't. It sat, honestly, a meter away from the wall. Honestly, if anyone's watching, I'm going to show you a photo now. It's honestly. Are you keeping it like that?

I don't know. I don't know what to do. I'm devastated for you, but that, my friend. That is it in between my wardrobes. And it's right in front of the wardrobe door. So if anyone's watching on YouTube, you can kind of see. So that is like, honestly, this far away from you all. No, Melissa, come on, that's so silly.

I'm so disappointed in you. That's really unlike you. And you know what? It's two centimeters out. Not you being late to me. Oh my God, you need to make sure you get this plug and that plug. And you need to get another extra plug, like three plugs by your wall. Like, miss and know it all with the house.

And then you don't even measure that. I was trying to give you good tips that is like crucial that's just like such a rookie error that's just crucial it's like in a slot of me so stupid i don't really care about the fact that i need more need to know about the fact that you and toby are gonna live together this is a lot has been nagging me it's been too long she was like i think we were together for two years and you were like so when is he moving in? It's a bit weird that you haven't at this point. And you were all out.

No, you kept being like, no, don't want him. Well, I had just moved into my house and I was quite enjoying my new space. Well, you had the best of both worlds. You could hop over tears and then you had your gorgeous space. Also, I think you were a bit still scarred from the whole breakup situation. Yeah, maybe. I was like, we can't move in. And then you decided like, no, I can't do this.

This is a really big step. It's a big step. And you know what? You're never going to be alone again. I was never alone anyway, honestly. We were together all the fucking time anyway. And we used to try and do a night off. I know.

That was really fun, though. Let me tell you, having a night off once in a while is great. Let me tell you, I bloody know. But you never get that anymore. Well, sometimes I do because he plays like a lot of tennis and his courts are like booked at 9pm. So basically it's a night off, I'm asleep by the time he gets it all back. Dream evening. Like I can just cook what I want to cook.

It's more that. And like you just, oh, I don't watch TV while I eat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, it's so bliss. And then I can just like sprawl. And I can also just look at my phone while watching TV because that's what he hates he's like put your phone away

I'm like fuck you so speaking of houses what's going on with yours because you're about to go into that realm I've just gone into in a sense of building

you know what measuring no well kind of everything's new everything's gonna be we're far away from the furnishings we're far away well maybe like a month

away that will come around fast update we're meant to be in in March but we're far away well maybe like a month away um that will come around fast we're meant to be in in march but we're probably going to be in in june okay june june is when the contractor's saying march is when our interior designer's saying so there's a little bit of anyway i think i'm in the mercy of the contractor's hands because i can't move in see there with the timings but it's looking amazing when you go there's like

all the floor like nothing it's still a building site but you can see like the limestone I need to go now yeah you need to go you can see the archways

because I've seen it before I like want to see it now oh my god yeah the bathroom just keeps like expanding our bathroom Jamie's just like

I'm worried about your wardrobe space in that bedroom I'll bet I've got my whole walk-in wardrobe in the next room down thein wardrobe in the next room. Down the road, yeah.

In the next room. Down the road. Down the corridor. Wait, what are you on about? I don't have walk-in, I don't have a wardrobe. I've got like a small. So where is his stuff going? He, we both have like a wardrobe like this.

Yeah, in the room. In our room. Got it. One there for him, one there for me. And is that like where the bed is looking at? So like that side, that side? No. No.

So in between the bathroom and the bed, there's like a small corridor. Got it. There's one archway and then there's another archway. And in there is that, right? And then underneath the TV, there's chest of drawers. Got it. So that's that for that room. And that's going to have like our every days.

And then over the road for me, I walk down the road. I walk into the next room. The West Wing. And there's a walk-in wardrobe. Okay, yes. I'm loving it all it's really exciting yeah so you know what has made such a difference for you you've got a really good like team of people that are fucking organized I can't tell you yeah house line is genuinely

unbelievable like Jojo is incredible and like her vision for things I'm like like I know what I like like we both can see what we like and like I think I have quite nice taste but the things she does I'm like the detail like I didn't even know that existed yeah so Love Island all stars is back you're not watching it I'm not watching it right one of the girls comes in and she goes my claim to fame is that I walked in with Maura Higgins and I just died she's actually really fucking funny but she talks about she talks about like pooping and burping and she's actually really fucking funny but she talks about she talks about like pooping and burping

and like farting all the time but I'm like guys like Rich coming from me he literally is on Looney West where Jamie talks about me pooing all the time but like I don't choose

to do that no is this a vibe um I'm gonna say it's a hard no for me I'm not talking about that no

especially not when I'm trying to find love. When I had that situation with Jamie, when I used to live in Evelyn, in his flat, his one-bedroom flat. Guys, this flat was small, and the bathroom was, like,

in the bedroom. Did you say smart? Small. Oh, I was like, smart. Smart. No, but the loo was, like, in the room.

You know where you can have, like, a bathroom that's, like, kind of in the kitchen, not next to the bed? No, no. It was right next to the bedroom. Yeah, it was in the room. It was right next to the bedroom. Yeah, it was heinous. That's tough.

It was so awful. And I used to just die. And I'll never forget the first, basically when we were dating, we went to Glastonbury together, but like we weren't actually boyfriend and girlfriend. Like I remember going to Glastonbury and all his friends were like, are you boyfriend and girlfriend? Like he wouldn't fucking say it. And I was like thinking there, like I wouldn't fucking say it and I was like thinking there like I'm gonna go back

and never fucking speak to you again anyway we go back we're obviously like dying of hangover and you know you're a bit hungover oh yeah hungover stomach

I've gone to class and be like I've held on for two days you know yeah yeah yeah stuff's stuff's churning stuff's brewing

and I was like I need to go to the loo so badly I don't know what to do and I just remember he would just always mince about

and like open the door when I was like in there like there was no lock on the loo there was no lock on the loo oh my god anyway the worst thing was around that area

there was also no places do you remember that there was Ori you could have gone in there no loo no loo fuck anyway that was the

first time i did it and that was a good like seven months after we started to be fair i used to live like 10 minutes down the road so i used to just jump in the taxi oh my god i forgot my toothbrush holding in clenching the last feeling in the whole entire world. I think I went quite, oh, you know what I used to do right next to Toby's is, used to be pizzeries, and I used to nip in there to the loo, like if I knew the loo. Oh, you do it?

Yeah, swear to God. You'd go out? No, no, sometimes I'd be on my way to his and it would be like nervous, like, shit, do I like, see if this is actually like just in my head or like whatever, and I'd just like text him,

can you just let me out here, which is right before his house. And I just nip it in there and go to sleep. Genius. Genius. But also Tiff Watson gave us this really good advice. Do you remember this? Is it the light match?

No, but that is also excellent. Because Jamie had matches on the top of his loo and I never thought anything of it. There was no candle in there. And then once I went in and it stank of matches, like a match. And I was like, oh my God, I think he does poos and then lights match. The best thing would actually be to have a lighter because then you don't have the smell of the match. No, it's the match, I think.

I don't think a lighter does the same thing. Oh, really? Anyway, you light a match. Yeah. But obviously it's a bit of a giveaway because then it's like, oh, I just... It stinks of matches and you're like, oh, just had a little fire in here. I know. Anyway, Tiff Watson, I remember i remember told us she was like no

what i do is i get the hand soap and i do two pumps into the loo or a pump into the loo then i bed the loo with them this is i mean textbook bed the loo with all the loo roll we're on the tap yeah feet on the bin yeah we go that's the problem it's like the stage fright and then you're like i need it's in there but i can't get out and then you don't want a noise to happen because when you're clenching then sometimes sometimes yeah anyway I've never really I've been always been so lucky in timings for me thank god throughout the start of my relationship it always worked out perfectly I've never had a bb but you know what breaks the ice because normally the guys normally just do that for you by like quite early on by being like.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, yeah, but that doesn't break the ice for me because I'm like, OK. Still, I never poo. Yeah. That's like what I want his perception to have been at the start, which is. God, those days are really long gone for me because Jamie just makes out that I poo at every single second. I don't know why. I don't know why. It's like he thinks it's so funny.

I'm like, it's not. It's the most often. He's sabotaging me for the fact that if we ever get divorced he's like you'll never get a boy again yeah yeah I so get it do you ever have these conversations with Jamie I'm like this is one of those things that like if we broke up like you'll bitch about like oh yeah you know what she was actually such a control freak with food and like she made me eat everything organic and like it was really annoying I always have those conversations with him I'm like this is so one of the things like if we broke up you'd be like

you know what she was just such a control freak in the kitchen anyway like really didn't need that I always have those conversations with him I'm like this is so one of the things like if we broke up you'd be like you know what she was just such a control freak in the kitchen anyway like really didn't need that in my life Jamie would just be like

she was mental yeah you know that she was mental I know I can picture I always like if he ever says that

about exes I'm like shut the fuck up no they weren't I like get so defensive about them because I'm like I know you're fucking going to say that about me one day but I so know what you mean I have these

conversations with Toby all the time about stuff oh Love Island oh Love Island sorry guys okay Love Island I haven't been watching it yeah tell me give me a debrief sometimes I just think like are these words actually coming out of their mouth like I don't mean no I just like I feel really bad don't come for me everyone like Curtis Pr, I just, like, I feel really bad. Don't come for me, everyone. Like, Curtis Pritchard's really sweet, but, like, the chat, it's like... Is it quite questionable?

Oh, naughty, naughty. Like, they get together and he's like, oh, naughty, naughty. And I'm like, if someone fucking said that to me, I'd be like, ah. Like, how are people... How are people, like... How is he on a TV show that he's like.

Who's allowing him to speak like that? Hey, gorgeous, can we go, can we go for a chat? No, you asked me for a chat. Can I pull you for a chat? No. Joking, joking. I'm like. And then he's like, you got nice eyes.

You're a good girl. Oh, my God, this is creepy. And it's just like, it's got nice eyes. You're a good girl. Oh my God, this is creepy. And it's just like, it's not my vibe. Oh no, it's not mine. It's just not my vibe. Me and Jamie watching, we're like, what do you think you'll be like? I'm like, Jamie, I think you'd be really good in there. I just, he would love it.

He'd come alive. I like to think I'd be good, but I probably wouldn't. Jamie's like, you would just sit inside. It's like, you would literally sit on the floor with him and he'd be like. Right, let's cast our own all stars. This is quite a fun, this would just sit inside. It's like, you would literally someone flirt with you and you'd be like. Right, let's cast our own all-stars. This is quite a fun, this is a fun game. So we're going to go for reality TV, not Love Island. Let's go for the OG, like the only way it's Essex, we're in Chelsea.

Okay, right. Maybe Big Brother. I can't remember anyone from Big Brother. Pete Wicks. Yeah, 100%. Joey Essex. Oh, he's already done it. Yeah, because he's quite iconic in terms of reality TV.

Maybe just throw him back in the mix. Miles, because he's good at flirting. Yeah, you've just picked all boys. What the fuck's that about? Right, I'll go for the girls then. Okay. Lucy Watson. Don't get up on my grill.

And then who else? Okay, sorry. Are we going? I'm picturing them now going in. I'm like, she's mum with two kids. I can't envision it. No, there's an all-stars moment, okay? Everyone's single again from those eras

and they're all going to be thrown back into an all-stars moment. Okay, right then. It's Spence Matthews. It's Jamie. I think we need Minnie Mac in there. We need Louise Thompson. Oh, fuck yeah, we need Louise Thompson. We need all-time main in Chelsea.

Just bring back the whole cast of Series 2. Yeah, Series 2 was iconic. Just bring back Series 2 of main Chelsea. That's's all we need really right enough of this love island chat let's get back to what we're good at dilemmas fanduel casinos exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do.

Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino. Where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Hi Wednesday's listeners, it's me Paloma Faith. So sorry to interrupt

but I've got a new podcast coming out and I just had to squeeze in obtrusively and let you all know. I've been called mad and bad my whole life. I've also had some real moments of sad, so I decided to make a podcast. This series, I'll be speaking to my favourite actors,

comedians, musicians and thinkers to find out what makes them mad. And I turned over the page and I cut off a wedge of my pubes and I sellotaped them and I just don't know. But it is mad and it's so wonderful though. It's sad. I love being sad. It's like getting in a warm bath. And bad.

Who does this? I got in trouble but I didn't really get in trouble because my mum was just like, you need help. And just so it's not too depressing, we all know there's so much of that in this world. What makes them glad? Does it have to be something that rhymes with the word glad? No.

Okay, fine. It's just that I've got mad, bad, sad. Yeah, fine. I'm glad I'm getting older. I'm so lucky to be getting older and I'm glad that I'm enjoying it. You can follow Mad, Sad and Bad with Paloma Faith on your favourite podcast app

and search for Mad, Sad and Bad podcast to follow on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok. Out now. This is like free therapy for you, isn't it? I went through a tough breakup last year with my boyfriend of almost four years my best friend knows all about it and how hard it's been on me but lately she's not been exactly a girl's girl two months after our breakup my ex started seeing someone new my friend was the one to tell me and she didn't hold back on going on about how amazing cool and the supermodel what the fuck and supermodel beautiful this new girl is even when she knew how low i've been feeling sorry i don't know she's talking

about herself a few months ago my ex and i started talking again and he had me thinking that there might be a chance for us giving it another go i was really vulnerable with him and told him i wanted to go get back together so he said that we should take a week and reflect on why we broke up and meet for a walk. During this reflection week, my friend tells me that my ex is still dating this other girl. Again, she brought up how beautiful and incredible this girl was in a way that really felt hurtful. Sorry, how does your friend know all this information for a start? Why is your friend saying that? I've never heard of it. It's like so savage.

But here's the dilemma. My friend is turning 30 and invited me to her big birthday party and on the guest list are my ex and his new girlfriend. The thing is, she doesn't even know this new girl well. They're not friends or anything. She hasn't mentioned any of this to me directly despite claiming she cares about me and knows how painful all this has been so do i go to her party am i being overly sensitive here or is this situation actually very weird okay you go to that party

otherwise you will lose out you are just going to exclude yourself you're going to think that your ex your friend's going to be like oh my god don't realize what she's done she won't she obviously she's doing what she's doing on purpose I think unless like she has zero social skills

there's no way in hell I would be like oh by the way Toby's ex is really gorgeous like you'd be like cheers I know I mean Toby break up

and then he gets a new girlfriend and you're like no no no she's next level supermodel even if she was I'd be like, she's nothing on you. Yeah, you would just lie.

It's bizarre. Like, that is horrific. I agree with you. Definitely go to the party. This is how we navigate this. Yeah, go on, let's go. This is like perfect plot. So you need to try and get into the mindset

of feeling yourself. Feel your best. Be like, right, this is my opportunity. This is the revenge party. Get a banging dress that you feel really confident in. Spend some time doing your hair and makeup. Don't try too hard. Look like you, but just feel great.

Try and feel your most confident. I know that's easier said than done, but like really just lean into that. After the party's been and gone, you can, I would genuinely sit down with a friend and be like, I'm not sure what the fuck you're trying to do here but you're not being my friend

by doing this if you don't even know her why the fuck she invited for a start and why are you ramming it down my throat that she's a supermodel and she's this and she's that

it's just not something you do I would never do that to you 100% and just see what she says you just have to be quite honest like and in terms of

at the party I feel like if you can handle your drink fine but like if you're like don't get drunk you're gonna start crying and then honestly that's the worst thing you can do no we don't do that you want to go I would walk in with another another friend or a group of friends I'd go for a drink before maybe turn up like an hourly like yeah you know middle finger tart turn up an go there, have the best time, don't really speak to her, I wouldn't personally,

like, the host, I'd be like, hi, happy birthday, like, you're going there to prove, like,

stand your ground, and like, for some reason, she's almost trying to like, kick you out of the friendship group. It's really weird, like, you're not gonna,

sorry, we're not gonna allow you to miss out, on any fun, any social fun time, that you deserve to be there, more than anyone else does, more than this fucking new girlfriend like the whole thing is really strange and what i would do is i would just you don't have

to go over to your ex and say hi like if he comes over to you hi how are you you don't it's weird to say hi to the girlfriend like you can smile and like as a passing if she comes over and introduces herself fine be like oh my god so nice to meet you and then be like cute you look really cute but you don't have to you can give like a slightly a compliment we don't want to be mean to the new girlfriend

because she's she's not done anything wrong I think look no but in front of him because he is doing something wrong by giving you a chance of thinking

we're going to get back together going on a walk with you x y and z I forget so when you meet the new girlfriend in front of him be like hi so oh are you guys together oh my god really that's cute something

like that i would give i would because then you're no i think you need to do something it's really unfair of him to be leading her on and you so there needs to be something said i would go in i'm really getting my thinking cap on i would go in in. I'd look fucking hot shit, as hot shit as I can. Yeah. I'd walk in with my friend. I'd go for like a drink with her for an hour with you. Yeah. And we were going to have the best time.

He's probably going to come up to you or like you're going to be near him. I would like avoid eye contact with him until like an hour in. Gauge the vibe. You're then going to bump into him and be like, oh my God, hi. See the girlfriend. Make sure he sees you see the girlfriend. you're then going to bump into him and be like, oh my God, hi. See the girlfriend. Make sure he sees you see the girlfriend. Like, you're going to see

the situation and then I would genuinely just never speak to him again. That would be me done. There's two elements to this. There's your friend being a cow and then there's your ex leading you on

and his new girlfriend on, which is not right. Frankly, I don't think I'd ever forgive that friend. I honestly can't imagine anyone I know who I'd ask as a friend even saying

anything remotely like to me that's just you're done saying stuff is one thing but then inviting her to the party is quite saying something melissa actually think of any of your friends being like she's a supermodel i would like genuinely come but i would at the time be like all right fucking hell way to bring me down knock knock someone down do you know what i mean i would say that me too don't be shy stick stick up for yourself because it's just not it's not polite if you do think that just don't say it at all be like honestly like if he's moving on you need to move on too like you can prop someone up in another way you don't even need to comment on what they look like you don't need to bring another person down by being like she's so ugly like that doesn't need to be said obviously but she can just be like

honestly you're better off without him yeah there's so many other things you can say I really just want to mull over and like envision someone saying that to me I would honestly be like, honestly, you're better off without him. Yeah. There's so many other things you can say to help your friend. I really just want to mull over and like envision someone saying that to me. I would honestly be like, I would be like, oh my God, thanks, you fucking bitch. I would bring it up with the friend after the party. Don't cause a thing at the party

because the last thing you want is that friend then going to your ex, being like, God, I was just complimenting Rosie and, you know, Katrina was jumping down my throat. I think the friend fancied the ex the whole time. Well, yeah, there seems to be a bit of a weird thing going on. I think she's jealous of you. Yeah, me too.

Because she's not hating on you. She's just trying to make you feel like shit, which is a really strange thing for a friend to do. It's pure jealousy. So I would, after the party, be like, I'm not sure what the fuck's going on and what you're trying to do to me or make me feel like, but you're making me feel like shit. And you're obviously trying to do it on purpose because you've done it three times by saying that she's a supermodel and now you've invited her to your party you don't even know her are you trying to make me feel uncomfortable I should be your priority like I would never do that to you you're gonna be amazing and you are so much better than this stinking ex with his new stinking girlfriend

so just go in there hold your head up high know your worth and remember what we told you yeah please keep us updated also if you have any photos of like your outfit anything you're gonna wear to this party send them in ready for dilemma two yeah i'm day two into traveling on my gap year i'm already feeling so many different emotions i keep going from being excited and entertained to terrified homesick and wanting to come back home to the UK I know it's early days but I feel like my friend is already getting annoyed with me this is my first ever trip on my own and I was wondering if you had any advice on how to maintain a healthy friendship especially considering that we're going to be spending every single second together for the next few months thank you guys this is a very sweet little dilemma oh my god they're so sweet it's actually so similar to me I got really I got really homesick when I was traveling um and actually me and my three friends

we I went with two other friends and we all got really homesick and we like put so much pressure on ourselves like we were like we're gonna be having the funnest time ever that we all like kind of ended up falling out in a weird way I think just like be so easy on yourself like I look back and I'm like why was I so like I could have just I put so much pressure on myself to have the best time

so I was like it's my gap year I'm travelling I've got to have fun and party and like meet loads of fit boys like just don't

just like the less pressure you're going to have a way more fun time and actually the minute you say to yourself oh my god

I can just book a flight and go home tomorrow then you're going to enjoy it and then you won't want to go and when I had that mentality I was like actually I want to stay for the next extra month just don't allow yourself to get annoyed with your friend she should surely shouldn't then wouldn't get annoyed with you I think it's when bizarre tensions rise you know when someone's irritating you then you irritate them and it's like this weird energy you've just got to be like just so go with the

flow so relaxed also go off and have your own time because like traveling with somebody like it's a lot like no and it doesn't mean you guys aren't like best friends just like being with somebody for three months in and every single so much you're both she also will be feeling those things and she also will have so much fun if i went traveling we should we would have the best fucking i know now i look back and I'm like, God. To be fair, I did give it... To do it now when you're older would be so good. No, we must.

We'll do it when our kids... We'll never get the chance. Yeah, we will. When our kids grow up and go to university, off we go. Thailand. It's been like 50 years. I used to go on really long beach walks. I would go on really long beach walks.

Also, I went to the gym. My other friend didn't. That's a nice time apart. Also, like... Got another thing. Cool. Go off and FaceTime your other friends. long beach walks also I went to the gym my other friend didn't that's a nice time apart also like got another thing cool go off and FaceTime your other friends go off and FaceTime your other family it just takes you out of like that okay that intense scenario yeah that's a good tip I'm just trying to think the closest I've ever had to like traveling with friends is like when we've done a maiden Chelsea trip or like when I've gone on holiday with my girlfriends but I've never

been away for that stint of time however However, I have been obviously at boarding school where like I share a room with them. I do class with them. I eat with them. I do everything with them. But there's so many of them. I think it's when there's like only three of you. Like with Made in Chelsea, there's so many of us.

But even then we all were so on top of each other. I know. It's really, I do get it it's tough and you will I think you'll almost break that barrier of like feeling like you're irritated with each other and then it will just become routine I think you'll be surprised how quickly that changes also like don't be worried to like be irritated like I'm sure I had like tiffs I did have tiffs with my friends but like they're literally like my sisters now it won't break you up it will only make you stronger even if like

you at the time hate them you're not going to forever like you'll just get closer also once you have like a few fun

times with another also I imagine you're going to meet quite a lot of other people along the way that's key I'm really excited for you

I so get the nerves and I so get the anticipation of not wanting to like ruin the friendship but I think just have the mindset that you nerves and I so get the anticipation of not wanting to like ruin the friendship. But I think just have the mindset that you're, as Sophie said,

like you're definitely just not going to, like you might get annoyed with each other every now and then. That's okay. Don't worry about that. put your headphones in, listen to a podcast

and then have a nap on the bus or whatever. Yeah. And you'll be fine. And also what I would say is if you are having tiffs and arguments, don't be the one that's stubborn.

There's normally always one that's stubborn. Just be like, so like so sorry love you so much obviously didn't mean that let's have the best time tonight do you know what I mean yeah just break it by not being the stubborn one breaking down that barrier just be the easygoing like oh you know what so sorry really obviously love you so much like let's go and do something fun tonight just just do that if if I can give you any advice and sometimes if you are the stubborn one that's really difficult but I think it's important to have one person that can do that because otherwise you'll go on for a while and it's a waste of time also like you'll end up if you're having like a bit of an awkward day or like you're both in a bit of a mood with each

other like you'll meet someone in a hostel you'll all end up going out tonight you'll have a couple drinks and you'll end up having a fun time yeah don't overthink it agree you know what i mean i'm really excited for you me too it's such a fun time i think you're gonna have the best time and as we said you're only day two in you've got you're gonna be day two is quite jarring you're like whoa right because it's not what you expect you think you're gonna go and it's like the movies and like you're with all these like surfer dudes and like these cool hostels and everyone's drinking it's's like the movies and like you're with all these like surfer dudes and like these cool hostels and everyone's drinking it's not

like the reality is sometimes like you get there and like there's an old man in the corner and like you're like what the fuck

and like you get put in a room and there's like two old men in there really yes oh god that's quite skelder so like just know that

you're gonna have peaks and troughs just like you would in normal life if any of you have any stories even if it's just something like I'm day three or two weeks into travelling having the best time please tell us in Costa Rica like on a beach Santa supposed to absolutely give us some updates on traveling I'd love because I've never done it I know we must go my dad wouldn't let me I wanted to do like South America

and he was like you will get kidnapped that's where I went I know my dad was really scared I had a I was not allowed to everywhere I was not allowed to go it was really scary there used to be like men with guns and they would just pull us over on the night

shut the fuck up yeah all the time they would get all the boys they'd be like give us your money I'd have to have an SAS agent with me

I would not be able to go unless I had that it's really full on we went to Pablo Escobar's house his old house I also when

met this guy on the beach he was like really quite stunning but he was like grey hair and old and he told me that he used to model I know he really took liking to me and I'll never forget no actually guys

this is really bad so I had like really I don't shave the top of my legs though yeah neither do I and they were like blonde hair

because I was really tan but they looked like hairy because they were like blonde you know I know exactly the type of my legs right yeah neither do I and they were like blonde hair because I was really tan but they looked like hairy because they were like blonde you know I know exactly the type of skin and he he sat down

I'll never forget it he looked at my leg and he was like he was talking about what he likes and going he was like I love hairy legs and me and my friend

were howling to me looked at my legs and we were like what the fuck anyway he told us like all these stories with Kate Moss and Johnny Depp

oh quite cool yeah he used to be a model with them like you really meet like row people and he tried to make us go and do ayahuasca with them and at that time i didn't know what it was so i was like yeah i will and then i called my mum my mum was like no you won't that's a drug like no oh my god it's quite scary because you're so young and you're sort of going out in the world to i guess learn about all these things and just get experience of life and culture and blah blah blah, blah. But you could easily get led astray.

Oh my God. You've got to keep your wits about you guys. Please make sure to stay safe, guys. I feel like kids these days have their wits about them. They're way more savvy than we were. Yeah, I agree. Stay safe. Keep your phone on you all the time.

And keep next to your friends. Be sensible. Love you. Hope you're having the best time and enjoy it right dilemma three hi girls here's my dilemma my boyfriend is constantly tired oh my god it sounds like me honestly sophie comes in every day she's i just don't feel quite right again today i was like i think i'm allergic to my makeup that's what it is when i don't wear makeup i feel completely fine the minute i do the podcast i wear makeup and i'm like i don't wear makeup, I feel completely fine. The minute I do the podcast, I wear makeup and I'm like, I don't feel right.

Yeah, I know. Whenever we meet up without Fel, he'll let me know how he's, he'll let me know he's wrecked and let out a sigh. Oh, boring. I'm wrecked. I know, like this, like, oh, I'm wrecked. Yes. I'd be like, oh God, how unattractive.

If we put on a movie, he's asleep within the first 10 minutes. What? He's got chronic fatigue syndrome. I value quality time, so I find it rude how he'll come over and just be asleep. No, I'm sorry. That's such an ick for me. I feel like I'm not spending any proper time with him. No, what the fuck? Wake up. I agree.

I decided to bring this up to him and said I would prefer if he gets some proper rest before meeting up with me. And instead I could spend time with my friends. Instead, I so agree. I don't want to feel like I'm nagging him because that's not what it is it comes from a place of love the last time I was with him he said please don't be annoyed but I'm red I was red

I was falling asleep sorry I would dump him on the fucking spot this is so icky please don't be annoyed it's so funny. Please, he's terrified. He's like, fuck me, dialing the coffee before he meets her

and he's like, I'm still so tired. Please stay awake. He's moving like that. He's like, I'm freaking out. Emily. Please, Melissa, don't be not unbragged oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry for him it's just like i can feel i know exactly what it would

be like you'd be like and then he's asleep because what do i do because it's putting me off wanting to spend time with him because he's always asleep why is this going I don't think I'm being unreasonable as it's not I want something I feel I'm so sorry we don't mean to laugh

I don't mean to laugh it's not you it's the fact your boyfriend's falling asleep the whole time I don't know why it's killing me why is that so funny I'm time. I don't know why. It's killing me. Why is that so funny?

I'm picturing you coming in. Don't be angry. She's coming. She's cooked a meal. She's so excited. He comes in. Oh, my God. Right.

Please don't be angry. Asleep at the table. Right. Right. I think he's obviously got low iron. I think he might have candida overgrowth. I think he's got iron deficiency. I think he's have candida overgrowth I think he's got chronic fatigue

I'm boiling too oh my god he's got chronic fatigue is that from candida overgrowth you can get no I think you can just get tired from candida

because it can just exhaust you but oh my god no he's got something that's not right is he okay there's obviously I genuinely

not to be he's got there's a health problem this isn't this isn't normal this is not normal to be he's got his there's a health problem this isn't like this isn't normal this is not normal to be this tired all the time unless he's got like a night job and he's like watching porn all night long i feel like she would have maybe like she would have touched on the fact if he's like a shift worker surely i feel like he's got a problem. Unless Sophie is right and he's got like a wanking issue.

You know what he could be doing? A wanking issue. Or he's addicted to porn or something. I don't know. I do think, and this is going back to like Melissa's health thing, I do think that a lot of these people are eating so much processed food that they're just so tired every day. Like they're just, they're wrecked.

They're wrecked. Please don't be, it's the, please don't be, I can't get it. Wrecked. I'm wrecked. It's such an old man thing to say. It's like my dad, I'm wrecked at the moment. I know, it really is. Oh, I'm knackered.

Oh my God. Oh God. Tell him, go and get your iron checked. He must go to the doctor. I think he's got a wee bit of the old chronic fatigue you know what i actually have that's like dormant is that horrible thing what is it that makes you have chronic fatigue glandular fever do you have glandular fever apparently i do i had a blood test they're like you've got glange got the glange you got that from kissing somebody no it's

in like people joke about it that it's the kissing disease because it's like anything you can catch from someone if they're like really if they've like got a flare up of it I was like I don't remember any time in my life where I was like that exhausted

really ill no but you must have been really like people get put in hospital my I got from my school had glandular fever

she was off school for honestly six months I know people get off school for a year yeah it was awful I know

I think he's got glandular fever yeah he might have a bit of the gland which then can lead to chronic fatigue he has chronic fatigue. Like, that poor boy,

that is... Do you remember you said you used to fall asleep? Yeah, I know. I'm like, maybe that was it. My God, Melissa, that was it. You used to be like, I used to just fall asleep.

I would genuinely have a nap for four hours every day and I would be going to bed at like 10pm and waking up at like 8. I was having so much sleep. It was not normal. Wait, what?

Was this at school? How were you napping for hours? Yeah, at school, I would fall asleep all the time in class but then this is what yeah genuinely to the point where they they the teachers called my mum they're like you need to take her to the doctor because she keeps falling asleep so you're a glandular fever why didn't they test you for that you obviously didn't you didn't feel ill no i didn't feel unwell i wasn't like i could like get up and go to playground what stage were you falling asleep for four hours like when that's

when i lived in london that's when i was like 19, 18. When you come back from question, you'd have a nap for four hours. The way that I was cured from all this is after I did the PIPA thing and I did all these PIPA tests and I had loads of candida overgrowth and all these other things. I'm covered in candida overgrowth, I just know it. How do I get rid of that? No sugar. They give you like a supplement and diet protocol. It's not that difficult to be fair. Anyway, he a supplement and diet protocol. It's not that difficult to be fair. Anyway,

so obviously he's got a health issue. We're not doctors but that is my suspicion. You know what? An easy fix just to just give it a go is that you can get iron drops.

You know, you can get good ones. Do a little supplement thing. Get him some vitamin D because you know what? None of us are getting enough vitamin D. Pippa Campbell does a really

good vitamin D supplement with K2 which means you can absorb it easily. Give him some steak and some spinach. Yeah, make sure he's got some good iron. What is this boy eating? What is he drinking?

And is he having like red balls all day? Because then he's going to be falling asleep. And crashing. There's a lot of things it could be that he obviously needs to like figure out because I'm sure he doesn't enjoy being this fucking tired all the time. He's wasting away his evenings,

wasting his time with you and he might lose you over it. I think you also need to evaluate, okay if this doesn't get solved is this going to carry on for the rest of our relationship am I okay with that and you need to like maybe explain that to him be like look if you're willing to like figure out what's going on and like make an effort to fix this so we can spend some time together because I'm just literally coming over for you to nap on me like that's not fun okay good luck please tell us together because I'm just literally coming over for you to nap on me. Like, that's not fun. Okay, good luck. Please tell us what happened.

I'm sorry for laughing. I don't know why it really got us. Poor boy. It's not funny. It's not funny at all. Sending love. Love you. Guys, do not forget about the follow-up, okay?

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subscribe then you can do so now on Supercast. Okay guys that's the end of the episode. Thank you so much. We love you. We love you and also next week georgia your sister's coming on i know with the baby yeah i'm so excited okay

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