Wednesdays - 73. Melissa & Sophie Get Real About Hair Down There

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

Roses are red, violets are blue… it’s our Galentine’s special, and you’re invited too! 💗This week, Sophie and Melissa are turning Valentine’s into a girly sleepover—think matching PJs, a little sip-and-paint, and a whole lot of gossip. Melissa spills on the time her innocent sleepover took a wild turn… and landed her in the back of a police car. Meanwhile, Sophie confesses to a major boy-obsessed moment that had her showing up unannounced—cringe. And yes, they’re unveiling their masterpiece portraits of each other… prepare yourselves.On dilemmas, one Tiny's boyfriend tummy troubles have always gotten in the way of their Valentine's day, while another is stuck in a Valentine’s situationship—should she stick it out or ditch him for good?Want More?! Check out our premium subscription The Follow Up - AD FREE, BONUS EPS and ALL the goss wednesdays.supercast.com/If you have one or a dilemma, any personal advice for another Tiny, or a follow up to a dilemma? You can send us a voice note or message using the link here.--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Producer & Editor: @ben_johnsAssistant Producer: @gurlinaheer_Exec: @jemimarathbone and Holly NewsonVideo editor: @jakeji.pVideo editor: @lizziemccarthySocial: @laurabcoughlan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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No business or profession is risk-free. Without insurance, your assets are at risk from major financial losses, data breaches, and natural disasters. Get customized coverage today starting at $19 per month at zensurance.com. Be protected. Be Zen. Announcement, Tynies. We've got some really exciting news. You asked for it and we've listened. We're bringing you a premium version of Wednesday's. That's right. And it's called The Follow Up.

If you want ad-free bonus episodes and dilemma follow ups, you can subscribe to The Follow Up now. Check the link in the description of this episode or the bio of our Instagram. You'll have access to our private feed, get special access to our group chat and so much more. anything. In fact, we just chatted all of shit. So. And we love giving you guys advice, but as we said. We love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Coming up on this week's episode of Wednesdays. It is our Galentize episode. Woo. So we're

doing a little slumber party, Wednesday sleepover vibes. We're doing a sipping paint. We've got some girly Valentine's gossip. We reveal some stories about our sleepovers back in the day, and I tell a story about when I had a lingerie mishap. And then for the dilemmas, we have a tiny who's in a bit of a situationship and she's not sure what to do, and then another tiny who has never had sex

with her boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Enjoy the episode. ["Dreams of a New World"] and another tiny who has never had sex with her boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Enjoy the episode. Happy Love Day. Happy Love Day, Happy V-Day, Happy Galentine's Day. If you guys can't see us because you're just listening through your headphones, we've got like everything pink. We're in PJs.

And we are sipping on a Sleepy Girl mocktail. Look at the bruises. I know. And then we've got a lovely canvas in front of us because we're going to do some sip and paint. Yeah. And what we're sipping is a mocktail and it's on TikTok. It's called Sleepy Girl Mocktail.

Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. What are you sleeping? What are you sipping on? We're going to put the recipe in the follow-up. So click on subscribe to the follow-up and get your ass down there. Okay, should we sip it? That's not that cherry. That's very organic cherry. I actually look quite like that. Lovely mocktail. You know what that tastes like? Mocktails are hit and miss because sometimes they're really sugary. That tastes very healthy. That is nice And it's gonna send us to sleep perfect

So sorry if the energy's low guys, cause we'll be sleepy sleepy. And also what you're not seeing is that we're matching pajamas with little pink stripes. From H&M, they're really gorgeous. So if you wanna watch it, just watch it on the YouTube, cause you know where that is. I've got a little, I'm committed, I've got a little, what would you call it, a knot hair bun, an eye mask.

An eye mask. Fluffy eye mask. I will be taking this because I sleep with an eye mask every single night of my life. Summer party vibes, you can take this. I don't really use an eye mask. I'll take them both. You knew what I got? This is giving kinky eye mask. You can put this on Toby or he can put it on you.

Isn't it? Yeah. It's very baby girl. Very baby girl. I got that silk pillow that you've got, the one that like entraps you. I slept with it last night. I slept with it last night. Me too. Best sleep for life.

Me too. Amazing. Me too. Right. Let's talk about this. Okay. Honest you guys. So we're getting to the ripe old age. well, I am the ripe old age of 30, so gone are the days where we can squish our face up. Yeah, and Sophie knows I struggle a bit with, what is it called? Swelling. I'm the puffiest girl in the world when I wake up.

I love it. When we've gone and like sleep over actual summer parties and we've been like on a way trip, Sophie's like, looks at me and she goes, you do look really different in the morning to the evening. No, it's more in the evening. I'm like- because I, there's no swollenness. My face is half the size of Samantha, isn't it? I actually really love the puff. Like I miss the puff I used to have because it made me look so much younger.

Yeah, it's a youthful look. But the puffiness is upsetting when you get puffy under eyes. Anyway, so this pillow is just transformed. What are they called? Like no creasing pillows? I can't remember, but it's basically almost, it looks like it's got hands and feet. So like there's two bits that go up by your ears and two bits that go here. And it's so hard.

Mine's I think a bit squishier than yours. I've tried yours, mine's squishier. But mine's like, I kind of love that it's hard. Do you put it on top of a pillow? No. Oh, you lie flat? Yeah. Oh no, no, no, I'm on top of a pillow.

So I'm like really raised. Wow. It looks as though I've got like surgery. I've had surgery done and I'm like... Yeah, yeah, you can't move from side to side. There's no rolling. And then I put my eye mask, my drowsy eye mask over it. And Jamie's like, you literally look like... It looks amazing. You know, like those old women in movies who are like dosed up on Xanaxes and they just lie there with cucumbers. That's giving me at night. And I'm like, I can't move. He's like, kiss. I'm like, no.

Do you sleep at the elevators every night? Yeah. God, I can't. I have to sleep flat. sleep flat. Oh god no I have to have my hair quite high. That's why you're never swollen as well there's no swelling going to the face I have to be lying flat. Wait no I don't understand how anyone can lie flat surely. What? Surely it's like you've got to be higher than your body. No but I probably should be. I like will bend a pillow in half so that my head is up. Yeah, I hate being fat. Although when I was younger, I used to sleep on my face, on my front.

And then my boobs, I think, were like really dropping because I was squishing with that. Ouchie. And it was sore. I'm starting to get those lines on my chest from sleeping on my side because I squish. The cleavage. And I apparently need to put like sort of sellotape, like not sellotape, like scar tape at night. I'm like, God, all these things. Have you seen these girls wake up in the morning, they like peel off their face, they've got

mouth tape on, like eye tape. They've got their hair in that like twizzly thing. I'm like, no, no, no, it's too much. I was like, my boyfriend wouldn't be able to do it. We wouldn't be having sex. Also like, it's more like the upkeep and also just so uncomfortable. I put a mouth tape on once, even though I sleep in my mouth shut. And like within 10 minutes I was like, get this off.

Yeah, it's quite claustrophobic. You know what I did try? A bit of Liscar tape. Let's see, dry. A little bit and it was actually fine because I can still talk because it's not that, it's quite stretchy. I'm not sure why that would help though because the breath is still going out. Yeah, maybe. But I don't open my mouth when I sleep. So anyway, this side pillow, sometimes I'll like wake up and I'm not on it and I'm like, and I'll put it back on and my favourite thing to do is sleep on my side on it because still.

Yeah, you don't trust Christopher. It's guys, it's really good. All right. So what we're going to do today is we're going to paint each other. Oh yeah. Sip and paint, sip and paint, sip and paint. Okay, right. So this is going to be your hair color. I'm quite... So my hair's giving baby poo colour then? No, I'm going to put some of the white in with it and really water it down if that's okay with you. Oh wow, we're getting like really almost like a beige. This is going in your house. Alright. Okay. Somewhere along with that lovely photograph of me. Oh

my god, a shrine to you. Okay, so do we water? That's water, right. So tell me what your plans are for V-Day. Okay, right. So nothing that exciting. We're going just for dinner locally. I think I might need a new canvas. No, it's so... It's giving potato head. Okay, right. What the fuck? I've given you gorgeous cheekbones already.

I know, but I'm so upset because I know what you've done. You've actually like painted, whereas I just tried potato head. Come on. Okay, right. What the fuck? I've given you gorgeous cheekbones already. I know, but I'm so upset because I know what you've done. You've actually like painted, whereas I just tried to draw. Okay. Okay, right. What are your plans then for me, De? I'm going to the BAFTA nominees party. Oh my God.

Hello. That's what I'm doing, which is quite rude to have a man, don't you say? Well, I guess it's just any old work. You know what? Apparently it's going to be really fun because last year I went to one of the after parties and I was like, oh my God, I'm going to see everyone. But by the time I got there, they all arrived so late and it just wasn't that much of a vibe because there's so many different after parties. Whereas this one, every single person goes because it's the nominees.

Okay, right. So is there any fun stories that you can tell? I do have one. I'm not sure if it's Valentine's appropriate, but I can tell it. So I went to an all-girls school and we used to sit in a circle and do truth and dare and like people would try and get with each other as when we were like 13. Oh my god I'm so into that desperation for a boy. Yeah it was very much and I never could do it. I would like sit there being like it's meaner I just didn't want to do it I really didn't want to do it and everyone was quite interested. I know I actually think I kind of always got away with not doing it. Pretty weird if they're like no you have to do it. And everyone was quite interested. I know, I actually think I kind of always got away with not doing it.

Pretty weird if they're like, no, you have to kiss me. Yeah, like snog me, no thanks. I think once someone kissed me and it was honestly the most excruciating feeling of my life. I was like, no, but people were like fully snog. I'm not joking. Do you remember your first, like my first proper kiss with a boy really like upset me, like really grossed me out.

Oh yeah, me. So, so. He's my first boyfriend. And I remember the whole school would watch you do it, it was really weird. You do it after school and everyone would stand around in the group and watch you. It's crucial. It was awful. Who taught you how to kiss? I remember my sister teaching me how to kiss. No one, I think I had to just Google it. Did you go and teach you to kiss? No, my other friends that were a bit ahead of me with the old, do you know what I mean?

Or did you just let your mouth do the talking as such? No, well, I guess, no, I don't really know. I feel like because we were in a dorm since I was 11, we all shared rooms, so we would all discuss it quite a bit. So I feel like when one of the girls did it, you'd sort of give feedback and do you know what I mean? It was so wild. I felt like that was the vibe. The boy obsession. I was obsessed. It was like the boy obsession. Like I was obsessed. It's like, I would convince myself to fancy anyone.

Cause obviously when you're at school, it's slim pickings. Like that's all you've got to choose from. And I would like force myself to fancy the ones that I just didn't fancy. Cause I was like, I just want to be with a boy, but I just like, look back and I'm like, I just never fancy girls.

Oh my God, no, that's really upsetting. I know cause I was like in all girls school and, I just never fancy it. Oh my god, no, that's really upsetting. I know, so I was at an old girl's school and there just actually was quite slim biggings. Right, should I tell? Oh yeah, go on, give me the story then. And this is when I lived in America and I really hate this doesn't get me in trouble. So, my friend Eve and I,

I don't really see her that much anymore, but it's more like a childhood friend, do you know what I mean? Yeah. We went to my house in America for like a school holiday, so we must have been like 15, 14. And my friend Brooke at the time, she was living there and she was someone that I met when I went to school there and we were always quite close. So me and my friend went over to hers for a sleepover, really fun, and we had a plan to sneak

out in the middle of the night and walk along the canal, go and get picked up by this guy, and then they take us to this like shed. Anyway, we were all like drinking and whatever and the next night we decided to do it again because we got away with it, it was so fun, no one knew we were gone. Rewind, do we know these people? Yeah, they were like my, the girl who's sleepover it was like she knew all these boys, they were like local boys, Americans. She was one of those, led you astray. I know exactly the time.

So I mean we were up for it, don't get me wrong. I was so keen to sneak out and like see some boys. We were just boy crazy at that age. Everything was so exciting and an adventure. Then we did it again, but this was a different group of boys we were going to meet up with and we were all drinking in a cul-de-sac on the side of the road. Didn't know. In America, it's illegal. There's a curfew. You cannot be outside past midnight or past 11 PM. No one can be. The state that I was in. I think it varies state to state. There's like 20 or 30 of us like all roaming these like cul-de-sacs, like these residential areas.

Obviously someone called the police on us. It was like, honestly out of a movie, the cops are coming, the cops are coming. We run so fast and we all hide behind this like bush. And basically this torch was going over the... We're all hiding behind this book. Are you sure this wasn't a nightmare? No. Because it feels so scary.

Honestly, it was mental and then he was like, right kids, come on out. I can see you. So everyone comes out from behind the bush. We're like, fuck. Anyway, and we're all a little bit drunk. God, who knew you were such a bloody rebel? And anyway, he was like, right, Carl, you're parents. So all of us had to stand and call our parents.

Brooke's parents didn't answer the phone. And he was like, right, well, I'm going to have to take you home then. So we get in the police car. I'm in the back. My friend is in the front and Brooke is next to me in the back. The back seat, I don't know if anyone's been in the back of a police car. No, never. It's like plastic.

It was like this plastic bowl. It was so uncomfortable. I was like, I think this is so uncomfortable. Obviously, I'm chatty chatty patty. I'm absolutely dead at this. And my friend in the front, because we were English, he fucking loved us. He was talking to us all about Wimbledon. Americans are just obsessed with Brits and where this was in the depths of America, they just were obsessed. Anyway, he was talking to us all about Wimbledon and golf and random shit.

And you were just going for it. Anyway, so he was talking to us all about like Wimbledon and golf and like random shit and um And you were just going for it and my friend touched he had like all these guns on the front and my friend touched And he said don't touch them and I was like, this is actually like mental. Like what are you doing? Anyway, obviously we knock on the door the dad comes out. He was fucking Furious like oh my god. Were you grounded? Did your parents ever find out? I've made a bit of like a boo-boo on the nose. Sorry, my nose is like my favorite feature.

I know. I was really trying to get like the little bottom bit of the tip, but we're going to give you like a side profile nose and it's absolutely turn out of turn. So that was that. And then I got taken home in the police car and you know. And he told your parents, well, never again. Oh, God, yeah. My mom was fucking furious. Absolutely fucking furious. I'm trying to think, God, I did so many random things. We were honestly so obsessed, me and Victoria, we used to leave my house and I just thought we were living very near my school. And so we were in a town and we would put

my dad's coats on. No, it's actually too weird when I look back at it. We'd put my dad's enormous coats on, bearing in mind that I'm 14, I'm the size of a twig and my dad is six foot four and big, he's big. And Victoria's like five foot three and we put these huge going out coats on, you know, like sort of like walking coats. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we would walk around, we would run around our town and we would go, that was a, no,

it's actually, no. Tell me, tell me, tell me. We would go to this boy's house and just stand outside his house, being like, shall we ring the doorbell? We were obsessed. So you'd just wait outside, did you ever get let in the house? I think maybe we would. We were definitely, she would text him and be like, what are you doing tonight?

And if he didn't reply, we would just go back home. But this was the worst. Okay, this is, this memory will stay with me forever. Okay. There was a school near us called, I won't say the school, but it was like a mixed school and they had one of their parties. You don't know when schools have parties. Okay. We're at two girls school and she's like, we've been invited. Sorry, have you used all these brushes? I know because they're not, the water doesn't wash away. So I've just been-

I've used one brush. I've been using it. Yeah, but mine's a masterpiece. I went to go and grab another one. Oh, eyebrows, I must get the eyebrows on. That's why I'm really not using. Okay, so anyway, so we're at my house and she goes, we've been invited to this school park disco

by this boy, the same boy with that obsession. This is like two years before, the same boy with that obsession. This is like two years before. The obsession. That was quite exciting. I'm like, are you sure? At the time thinking like, I'm not sure another school would invite us to their school one. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

She's like, I promise you, we are. We get my mom, we get dressed up in my sister's clothes because we don't have heels and stuff like that. We get my mom to drive us to the school. As we're driving in, I'm like, are you sure? Has he touched you back? And she's like, Oh my God, no, stop. He's not touching me back. And she's being a bit sketchy. Anyway, we get out and this school is a big boarding school. Is he just freaked out that you're there? No, no, no. The school is a big boarding school. There's obviously teachers on the ground. And you can't just walk into the school. And we walk in and we're like, hello. And they're

like, who are you? And we're like, we're here to see this boy. And they're like, no, you can't just walk in and we walk in and we're like hello and they're like who are you and we're like We're here to see this boy. No, you're not they go up and get him He honestly looks at us and he's like and he's with his girlfriend and I'm like I've Never I almost have mentally brought this to my mom. We have to call him. We're like you have to come pick us up It's actually oh, that's really upsetting. But you know what guys I I feel like we were so desperate. We were so desperate. You were. You were. Lovesick. Absolutely desperate. Oh my god, the eyebrows are really hard to do. Have you done them?

Yeah. They are hard to do. I'm literally just doing it as if I'm putting makeup on you. It's really quite fun. He's gorgeous, cheap bit. I've given you some quite bushy and high eyebrows. Perfect. There's a trend at the moment. I think it's called bushy in a bikini. The landing strip, fine. Yeah, that's your vibe, isn't it? I strictly shaven, but Jamie really likes... Okay, can I just debrief because I'm going to tell you guys.

She's just completely outed me. I was trying to subtly like scoot around there. like okay can I just debrief because I'm gonna tell you guys. She's just completely out of it. I was trying to subtly like scoot around there. We gave her instructions right? Whatever Toby wants Toby gets. You know what I think is very classy I think it's very classy. What isn't classy is I'm going to just say it. When you fucking have had laser like I have done, there's a tiny patch that no matter how much you laser, it just doesn't go. So because I forget, it's always shaving that tiny patch.

That's not fun. That's not fun. And Jamie's like, what is that? He's like, oh, it's back. But I can't really see it because it's like in an area that i wouldn't see right let me also just say trying to shave as a girl it's there's a lot of like nooks and crannies to work around it's not a piece of cake let me tell you that it's real pain it's really laser really does change the game but and that's not good when your boyfriend likes a landing strip and you've had a lot of laser let me tell you guys it's a struggle to get that landing strip intact. It's like a pathetic excuse for a landing strip, if I'm being honest.

It's sparse. Yeah. I wonder if like, so the bush is back. So yeah, okay. This is niche. So I watched a Bridget Jones movie last night and in it, it really like triggered something in my mind because she was saying she keeps a bush because it kind of covers it up. But she's had two kits.

Oh, I kind of get that. And I was like, you know what? Maybe I regret all the laser that I've done. Oh no, there's paint on the easel. No, you're really good. I can see that you've just done something and it's just amazing. It's all about the smooth brush strokes. No, what it is is it's all about the mixing to get the right colour and I just like my

brain didn't quite get there. I've given you some white highlights. White? Yeah. I've given you really flicking gorgeous hair and the only like little mix is just on the nose, on the schnoz. I've given you gorgeous eyelashes. Your mouth is unbelievable.

Your nose is unbelievable. I will say your face is a bit potato head because I just went in. It's because I need my jaw botox doing and I'm puffy and my face is round and she's taking advantage of that. No, it's giving my head like it's enormous. It's a big long head. Shut up. Guys, mine's actually unbelievable, this story. Go on. So I decide to get myself like lingerie, right? Sexy from where? Give us details. I don't know, but it was like a body, like a lace bodice with garter stocking things. Wow, lovely.

Yeah. So anyway, what happens is we go for dinner. And this is back when like, you know, I just, I really, really was mental when I drank. And I would have had red wine, which I was like double wham mental behavior. You know, I'm like crying. I'm like, oh yeah, it's not right. I used to love a good cry. Oh, come on. Get all your anger out. I know, I was fucking hell. Anyway, we go back home and I like shut myself in this little room and I'm putting on my outfit and I come out and I'm like really drunk at this point. Credit for you for trying. And I, oh my God, there's just two things. And I come out and I'm like really drunk at this point. Credit for you for trying.

And I, oh my God, there's just two things. And I basically walk in and he is like, oh, ha ha, you put it on the wrong way. Like I put it on the wrong way. Like I put, I like clipped, I like it was back to front or something. I mean, obviously I didn't have like the thong up my vagina, but like something was off. Maybe I'd like put it on with the tag out or something. And he went, which I wanted him to be like, oh no, you were too sensitive and drunk and you took that the wrong way. So I burst out crying and I'm hysterically crying to the point where all I remember that blackout is that he left

and it's middle of the night. Is it Jamie? No, another ice. Oh, fine. It would be funnier if it was Jamie. I was like, I'm really... No, Jamie would not react. Jamie's very good. He just wouldn't. He would have encouraged you. Yeah, you would be like, I need this to happen again. I need to make her feel good about us. Yeah. And this person didn't. And so off I go. And then he's like, run away with both

soda. The whole thing was horrific. I can't even. And that's the last time I ever got dressed up. Fuck. I don't remember. The last time I fully, fully got dressed up, like put like the legging stockings on whatever, put a trench coat on over the top, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. Went all the way to the south of France, garters on, blah, blah, blah. Dishwasher opened and I saw those two wine glasses in there and then I did my investigating and then found out who the girl was. Yeah that's not a vibe. So that was really not a vibe for me. Right, should we do a reveal then? Yeah. I'm really proud of mine. Guys, ready? Three, two, one. Oh my god, mine's

fucking uncanny. Mine's un-canny. I know you've given me a crud. Mine's so uncgrieved! Sorry, mine's so dead, yours so sad! Look at the tits! Why am I just ahead? Why is my nose so long? Why do I have huge boobs? Why is my nose in the middle of my face for a start? What's up with the gap between my nose and my mouth? Your nose is in the middle of your face!

You do have a lot of mine right touching my lips. She wanted to accentuate my long, long, long, long nose. Are those proportions perfect? What the fuck? I'm so ugly, but that looks so... What? I think it's... That's really pretty. I don't know what anyone's kidding themselves. That is... That is... Oh yeah, yours is rubbish anyway. I'm so thrilled with mine, guys.

The hair's giving very flat. Willis would be very upset. Yours is flicky. That is really good hair. That is what my hair is like. Look at that as well. Yeah, that is good. She's got the flicky messy hair.

Look how small the nose is and the lips are like so overdrawn. Like just round, rounded. Mine are very defined. Yours are gorgeous. We don't love flat cupids bow there. They do kind of look like that. You have like the perfect lips to draw. That is what your lips look like. I think that's exactly what yours look like. Also guys, the cheekbones, I got the cheekbones.

I thought mine was fantastic. Mine is really good. Also very golden goddess-y, I was like, I'm just going to keep it all golden. With the crop top. Why do I have massive boobs in a crop top? I don't know why I just thought in like, that is what your alter ego wants to wear. That's the girl who does crazy horse. She would love to have her little tits out and like a cropped arm and v-neck the big cross and just how you flicky hair. Like be honest, would you think they're actually really Fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily jackpots a chance to win with every spinner and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m.

every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Research and supply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandio.com. Please play responsibly. Do you have business insurance? If not, how would you pay to recover from a cyber attack, fire damage, theft or a lawsuit? No business or profession is risk-free.

Without insurance, your assets are at risk from major financial losses, data breaches and natural disasters. Get customized coverage today starting at $19 per month at zensurance.com. Be protected. Be Zen. Announcement, Tynies. we've got some really exciting news. You asked for it and we've listened. We're bringing you a premium version of Wednesday's. That's right and it's called The Follow Up. If you want ad-free bonus episodes and dilemma follow-ups, you can subscribe to the Follow Up now. Check the link in the description of this episode or the bio of our Instagram. You'll have access to our private feed, get special access to our group chat and so much

more. Hi Wednesday's listeners, it's me Paloma Faith. So sorry to interrupt but I've got a new podcast coming out and I just had to squeeze in obtrusively and let you all know. One, two, three, four! I'm really mad, mad and bad. I've been called mad and bad my whole life. I've also had some real moments of sad, so I decided to make a podcast.

This series, I'll be speaking to my favorite actors, comedians, musicians, and thinkers to find out what makes them mad. And I turned over the page and I cut off a wedge of my pukes and I sellotape them and I just don't know. But it is mad and it's so wonderful though. Sad. I love being sad.

It's like getting in a warm bath. And bad. Who does this? I got in trouble but I didn't really get in trouble because my mom was just like, you need help. And just so it's not too depressing, we all know there's so much of that in this world. What makes them glad? Does it have to be something that rhymes with the word glad? No?

Okay, fine. It's just I've got mad, bad, sad and... Yeah, fine. Yeah. I'm glad I'm getting older. I'm so lucky to be getting older and I'm glad that I'm enjoying it. You can follow Mad, Sad and Bad with Paloma Faith on your favourite podcast app and search for Mad, Sad and Bad podcast

to follow on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok. Out now. This is like free therapy for you, isn't it? Right, are we going to do some dilemmas or what? Oh yeah. They're in scrolls behind me and they're all cute and pretty and pink. Hallelujah. Oh my god, this is lovely. This is just really gorgeous aesthetics.

I think we should do this every week. Oh, this is lovely. This is just really gorgeous aesthetics. I think we should do this every week. Oh. Oh, this is my love letter. This is my love letter to Melissa. Ready? Dear Melissa, I love spending my Galentine's with you because you are fun and true and savage and we can always be honest together. It's so...

That's it. Oh, what the fuck? No, no, it's not necessary for me. Love, you're Valentine's. Okay, right, I'm gonna go in. So this could be my love letter, it could be a dilemma. This is the beauty of this, we just don't know. It's all a mystery. We just don't know.

Right. Ooh, that is a dilemma. And it's juicy. Dilemma one. I've been with my boyfriend for four years and still never had sex with him on Valentine's. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years and we're coming up to our fifth Valentine's Day together. I love him so much. Honestly, our relationship is amazing and

he's my absolute best friend. Oh, gorgeous. But there's one little thing that has been bugging me. We've never had sex on Valentine's Day. Not once. That's weird. Judgmental. What? That's really weird though. Four once. That's weird. Judgmental watch. That's really weird though for years. That's fucking weird. Like what are they doing? Maybe they're getting so drunk they can't. Let me explain.

Every year we go out for a lovely meal. I always make an effort. I'll wear something cute, get my hair done, and even break out the fancy lingerie because you know, Valentine's Day, right? But without fail, we come home and nothing happens. The issue is my boyfriend has IBS. Bless him, but every year he's basically out of action by the time we're back home.

And I get it, no one feels sexy when their stomach's playing up, but it's Valentine's. I just feel like this is the one day of the year where I really want to make things extra special and every year it ends up being cuddles and Netflix instead. I'm determined to make this year the year we finally do it on Valentine's Day, but I don't want to stress him out or make him feel bad about something he can't help. So what do I do? Do I suggest a lighter dinner? Maybe skip the restaurant altogether or am I putting too much pressure on the day? Absolutely, you have sex before you go for dinner. There's nothing better than that. There's nothing better than pre-dinner sex when you're showered. I refuse to do it often anyway.

Quick shower, dressing gown on, do my makeup out the door, gorgeous. It's out the way you can get home and go to bed early. Also, you know it's not going to get so messy. You've got the excuse of like, I've got loads of makeup on, I don't want to go full in, you know? Because I don't want to do that after dinner anyway. Like I'm like, I'm so full. Depends, if I've had an early dinner and it's been enough hours, I'm fine with it.

It's all circumstantial. You've got to be strategic. And I know that's annoying, but we've got to be strategic about the dinner plans. I also would love that. There's nothing better than, yeah. So either we book an earlier dinner, so there's enough time.

No, no, I think that boy's got really bad IBS and he's going to be on the shitter. I think he's just a be on the shitter. I think this isn't right. I know. What are they eating? I don't know. Can't they go to like a really low-key restaurant where he can get like...

It's like another Pippa Campbell health situation, I think, on our hands. Absolutely. Like this is like, he needs to be taking some Busca pan. Yeah. What's that? IBS, isn't it? Is that an IBS tablet? He needs to be taking some Busca pan, IBS relief.

He needs to pop some of those and you need to get them for him. And you also feed that boy a piece of bread and say, no more for you or just have sex before you go for dinner. Have sex before you go for dinner, guys. Have a lovely shower, get in that lingerie. You know what you should do? Book a late dinner, but start say, I want to have 6 p.m. drinks with you. Unbelievable.

So I'm going to get already. You get in your underwear, you sit down, you have a gorgeous drink, get like a sexy dressing gown over the underwear so it's not too cringe if you're like cringed out by that because I would be, I'd be like I want them to sort of take off and see it rather than me exit the bedroom in it. Yeah or what you could do is like wear a trench coat, that's very cool. Very sexy, very cool. Or you could just have your underwear underneath your clothes and just be like... But I think if you're getting ready you can be like half done sort of makeup.

The lingerie is underneath. You're having some pre-drinks at 6pm sharp in the living room. You come in to like do a little cheesy cheers. You've done like your makeup base. So your dressing gown's on, underwear's on, you're feeling showered, sexy, gorgeous. And then boom, pound town. How is she gonna to make the moves? Surely he will just sing her.

I think just say, should we just let her? Just be like, you're Valentine's present. You've been together five years. Just be like, let's shag before dinner. Yeah. It's easy to just say stuff like that these days, no? Sometimes I do. I'm like, no, not tonight.

Let's earlier. Oh my God, 100%. Otherwise. You've got to have these conversations. You have to. Who likes a shag after a big heavy dinner? That is just not for me. I'm so full.

You don't feel cute at all. No. Unless you're doing a... But then they're going to feel like shit. They're full and they've got to put the harder work in. So what would be your perfect time for a shag? I quite like an afternoon hung over on the sofa. I agree. An afternoon is wonderful.

Actually an afternoon anytime is like nice. Yeah. I don't love evening. I don't mind evening, but if I'm full, no. I don't like evening when I'm not full. I just really don't, there's something about evening. I'm just like not in the mood, I'm not in the mood. Also can I just say the navigating of like the skincare

is quite annoying because I need to like then wait a certain amount of time for my retinal to set in before I put my moisturizer on. They're gonna disrupt that microbiome on my face if they kiss me. Absolutely. Okay, I've got one dilemma. Okay. Dilemma two. It's my first Valentine's alone. Have you ever spent a Valentine's by yourself

and how did you cope not feeling lonely? Let's get stuck into it. Hey girls, I need some advice because this year is going to be my first Valentine's day alone and honestly, I'm already dreading it. I came out of a long term relationship last year so I've never actually had a Valentine's Day on my own before. It's always been dinners, flowers and all the romantic cliches, which I loved, don't get me wrong. But now I'm seeing all these adverts, couples making plans and even my friends are all paired off and I can't help feeling a bit well lonely. I know it's just another day but it's hard not to get into my own

head about it. I keep imagining myself in my PJs with a tub of ice cream scrolling through Instagram and feeling like I'm the only single person left in the world which I know isn't true but you know how it feels in the moment. Have you ever spent a Valentine's Day alone? How did you make it through without feeling totally miserable? Do I embrace the day and spoil myself or do I pretend it's not happening and power through? Any tips would be amazing because right now I'm one heart-shaped chocolate away from hiding under the duvet until the 15th. Oh, blah. I would go out. I would get dressed up. Most people go clubbing on Valentine's Day.

Yeah. I think also it's really not that much of a big deal. I think it's like more of an excuse if you are in a relationship, buy me flowers. But nothing that special happens to me. No, normally I've never really celebrated Valentine's Day. Or maybe go for dinner if it lands on a weekend. If it lands in the week, no,

nothing different's happening for me. I know, I've got my eyes. He'll get me a bunch of flowers, that's it. I don't think we need to overthink or like make yourself feel like you should be doing anything. I totally agree. But if it makes you feel better, yeah, go and like all like treat yourself, go buy yourself some new stuff or like go get a blow dry or go get your nails done. Yeah, treat yourself

to a gorgeous bit of pampering. I would get a massage. Also, you know what? I don't know if hopefully you're in the UK, but thank God we're not in America where they make it such a fucking big deal. Well, it is kind of a big deal here. I also think, like, get your glad rags on. Get a bottle of Prosecco. I think if you go and have some more, like go and have a girly dinner in with your other single girlfriend. Sushi or something delicious.

Do something fun. I mean, I do also think it depends on what you obviously want to do with the weekend, but don't get yourself down about it being such a big deal because it isn't. It really isn't. And if you also want to hide in bed all day, just hide in bed. Just do whatever makes you feel good. It's only one day. If you want to just slumber and wallow in self-pity, sometimes you just want to do that and then the next day you're like, oh.

I'm trying to think, when have I been single on Valentine's Day? I don't think I ever have been either. I don't think I have been, which is really actually like not healthy. Surely I have been. Although I will say, I look back and like I really don't remember ever doing anything on Valentine's Day with any of my boyfriends. I've never done anything significant on Valentine's Day. Like never.

Maybe I have and I literally have no recollection. I remember once I went to the beach in Newcastle with my friend Chrissy. She was single and I was in a relationship. I spent it with her. Sweet of me, right? I think there's going to be so many people that are single, spending Valentine's Day alone, just breaking up with someone, maybe just getting divorced. It happens to be, I guess it is fucking annoying and it makes you feel a bit shit.

I do get it. I think just watch a Bridget Jones movie if you want to follow it. Or watch the movie Valentine's Day because that is also like quite good vibes because there's so many different scenarios going on in that. So yeah, I would just watch a good film, get yourself feeling great, watch Setsuna City. Just treat it as a girly, lovely night in and treat yourself to a gorgeous takeaway. Put a face mask on. I don't think you need to overthink it. Just get a nice plan in whether it's in by yourself, doing whatever. On to the next dilemma.

I'm in a situationship and I like him, but I know he has kissed someone else. Do I spend Valentine's with him or sack him off? This is juicy. Dear Sophia Melissa, there's this guy you knew who I was initially just friends with, but it seemed to slowly be turning into something more than friends. However, I then heard that over Christmas he kissed someone else, who I know quite well. I've been giving him the cold shoulder since, but to be honest, I don't think he's even fully noticed how pissed off I am. Oh, God, you're not doing a good job.

Nothing worse. Then he turned up at my room in the halls the other day with a bunch of flowers and asked if I wanted to spend Valentine's day together. That's so sweet. Okay, this is promising. I do like him and he's clearly still interested in me, but he hasn't even admitted to me that he had kissed someone else and these flowers don't make up for it. I think the relationship could be great if he's actually all in, but what do I do? Should I just forgive the kiss given we haven't really said we were exclusive or should I properly confront him about it and should I spend Valentine's with him or not? Right, I had this exact situation

at uni. Did you? Yeah. Shut the fuck up. So I was getting with somebody and just before we broke up for Christmas, I think I was a bit like, not really so sure. So I go off over Christmas, like we're still talking, talking, talking, but I'm not fully in. I was like, I don't think. So I go off over Christmas, like we're still talking, talking, talking, but I'm not fully in.

I was like, I don't think he's my type. Anyway, we get back and everyone's like, he's got with, oh my God, I remember. So I then went to Miami to see my sister who was traveling and I was away for a week. And in that week that I was away, he got with this other girl. Right, so I come back.

But the thing is, we were in a situation shit. We weren't dating, we'd never spoken about anything. Yeah, you don't really have any grounds. And actually, it was like perfect, because it made it speed up, it made me realize that I wanted to, yeah, and it made him. Hopefully realize the same thing.

Yes, I think this is a blessing. Win-win situation. Although I will say, you probably played it too coy. I think you've got to sort of like call someone out on this. So did you say like, look, I know you've got with someone, I'm actually not getting fucked off. How did you play it? I'm so toxic. Then I realized I wanted him because he got with somebody else. So then

I just then was like keen. So I did the opposite thing. But I think he's keen. So I just think- But did you confront him like you've got with someone or no? Because you were in a situation you didn't feel like you could. God did I? I think I did, I think I did and I was like. Knowing you, you're not going to keep that in. Yeah, I must have, I must have done that. You would have been annoyed. I would have been annoyed. For like a day. And then you would have been in his bed that night. I think I was either like it's me or her. Fair. And then suddenly you're in a relationship. Sometimes I know it's really like people say play it cool, play it cool, but sometimes it actually doesn't get you anywhere. And then they'll just think you're not interested and then you've lost out.

Also like boys like a bit of psycho. They do like a bit of spice. Otherwise it's just mundane and boring. It's boring, not very encouraging any psycho behavior, but I'm just saying. It's just a tad. You just have to sprinkle. Speak up. Just keep that far in, okay?

And yeah. I think when he came to your room and was like, will you be my Valentine's? I would have been like, that's quite a big move. I would have been like, aren't you getting with Kate? Yeah. And be like, oh, someone told me

you guys were getting together. So casual. He'd be like. And be like, I just don't wanna step on anyone's toes. I do actually really like you and I'm enjoying what we're doing here, but I also don't wanna hurt someone else. Like, just kind of blame it on on that and then see what he says.

A hundred percent. Oh, you just send him a text after that and be like, sorry, I was really taken aback by that. But I forgot to mention, I've heard you've been getting with so and so. So probably not the best one. Yeah, just don't want to make things complicated or messy. And he'll be like, no, no, I love you. And then I want to be with you and you're my Valentine. Yeah. God, we solved it. I'm in that punch. Problem fucking solved. Please tell us what happens. I need to be updated with this.

Like, this is a juicy one. These like new relationships at Blossom and Uni, like there's something really magical about them. I feel like your innovations just aren't really developed yet. Like your full frontal lobe for a boy, especially. Which all the ours is. We develop ours at like 21 boys not 20 but 25. I remember my mum always saying it when my brother used to get in school she

was like the full frontal lobe hasn't developed for him yet. So what does that mean? Emotions are off. That's why girls just mature supposedly faster than boys. What does full frontal lobe mean? It's the part of your brain which develops when you understand consequences of situations. Did your mom never speak to you about this? No. Honestly, in my household, it was nonstop speaking about it. I think it's because there was a boy in the household. Wait, so they would cheat and stuff and they wouldn't really notice because they're like,

sorry, whoopsie. Or do something really stupid and just not even think about the consequences. That's why when you're young, you do stupid shit. God, that's absolutely fascinating. So Toby is only really just fully developed, bless him, two years ago. Oh my god, sweet, sweet Toby. Yeah. Okay, well look, this guy,

his frontal lobe is just so small at the moment, he doesn't know what he's doing. He hasn't got a clue about the consequences. But no one really does at that age, which is why it's kind of great, because it gives you all these learning situations, and you learn a lot about everyone else. Also, we'll say, you aren't going out,

like he hasn't actually done anything wrong. He hasn't technically done anything wrong, but I do understand. You don't want him to be kissing other people because you want him to like you so much that he can't bear to. Which is why you've got to stand your ground now. You've got to basically be like, no, I'm going to call off because I'm not into that. And he'll be like, neither am I. You're mine.

You're everything I've ever wanted. Concentration is on you. Whatever they say in Love Island, what do they say? I'm closed off. And I'm excited for you because I think this will actually end in a bit of a romance. Me too, he obviously wants you. He didn't go to two girls' houses.

But this is my love letter to you, Kirini. Dear Sophie, I know I'll always have a laugh and guarantee you'll agree with all of my bizarre slash unhinged thoughts and insecurities about my life slash relationship and myself. Yeah, bring me to more of a rational positive mindset towards everything. And I also love your telepathic abilities allow me to know if I'm pregnant or not without taking a test. Sorry, that was really lovely.

She's not pregnant. I'm not hard about that. Whenever I have a pregnancy scare, so if he just goes, no, I can sense that you're not. I'm like, perfect. I won't bother buying a test then. No clear blue for me. Guys, it is actually a real thing. I will walk into a room and I'll say to Jamie, Oh my God, Claire is pregnant. How like, how didn't we know? And he'll be like, no, she's not. Three months later on the dot, we'll get called Claire's pregnant. It's unbelievable. And it's happened multiple, multiple times.

So guys, I will never for the rest of my life, I'll never have to buy a pregnancy test. Yeah, so for the money I've saved you. I know. It's unbelievable. It is unbelievable. Right, that was it. We loved it. Love you guys. Love you guys.

Thank you for listening. Happy bloody Galentine's. Have a lovely, lovely day with your loved ones or alone or whatever you're doing. If you've got a boyfriend just go and have fun and if you're a single girl just enjoy this Galentine's day. Absolutely and if you are in a relationship don't put yourself under all this pressure to have like the most amazing sex and blah blah blah. Just, it's any, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I probably won't have sex this Valentine's Day. Just try and take the pressure away. There you go. So if isn't, we don't have to bother. Bye guys. Bye bye. Fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute?

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No business or profession is risk-free. Without insurance, your assets are at risk from major financial losses, data breaches and natural disasters. Get customized coverage today starting at $19 per month at ZenSurance.com. Be protected. Be Zen. Hello, I'm Jamie Lang. And I'm Sophie Habou. And we have been married for a year. One whole year. Join us as we navigate married life, hear wild stories from our listeners, and meet some of our favourite celebrity couples.

That's right. Each week we dive into the world of newlywed bliss. Is that what it is, bliss? Jamie, just pretend that we're newlyweds. One year down, and a lifetime to go. Love you, honey. Is that what it is, Bliss? Jamie, just pretend that we're newlyweds. One year down and a lifetime to go. Love you, honey. Listen, every Monday just search newlyweds wherever you get your podcasts. That's it for this week, Wednesdays.

But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, Tynies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations.

And it's super easy, you just listen on your favourite app, how cool is that? Amazing! And all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.