Wednesdays - 80. Dealing with Low Libido: Our Experiences and Tips

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

Hey Tinies!This week, Melissa and Sophie chat about a PMS app that lets your partner know exactly when you’re on, so you’re both on the same page. Melissa shares how it’s been a total game-changer for her friend, while Sophie talks about what she’s like when PMS hits...The girls also dive into the Gen Z phenomenon of "brain rot" and show some love for Millie Bobby Brown. Plus, Sophie shares all the details from a dreamy wedding on the slopes. In this week’s dilemmas, one Tiny opens up about struggling with a low libido and how it’s affecting her sex life - Sophie and Melissa share honest advice on how to get that spark back. Meanwhile, another Tiny has the opposite issue: her friend's high libido is keeping her up at night. Sophie even shares a story about overhearing a family member in that situation...Got a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail]--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Producer: @gurlinaheer_Editor: Kat MilsomExec: Holly NewsonVideo editor: @lizziemccarthySocial: @laurabcoughlan and Beth Owen Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling. Winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling. Winning. In an exciting live dealer studio. Exclusively on FanDuel Casino. Where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Oh, we're about to listen to an ad Melissa. Ah, don't you hate that? And we're just getting to the good stuff.

Well, did you forget we've released our subscription now? Oh, yeah. Wednesday's the follow-up gives our subscribers access to all our content completely ad free, with bonus episodes every fortnight and much more access, more dilemmas, more personal stories and recommendations. I love it. We've got a proper girls shout going on now with our subscribers. It's honestly brilliant. All the details are in the episode description and in the Wednesday's in it's DeBio. a lot of shit, so. And we love giving you guys advice, but as we said. We love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel.

If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Coming up on this week's episode of Wednesdays, we are talking about PMS and what brain rot is. We kick off with a tiny that's got a low libido. And we've got another tiny who's dealing with their flatmate's really high sex drive. We also discuss Millie Bowie rounds iconic addressing to the nasty journalists. Enjoy the episode.

Hello. Hello and welcome. Me and Melissa haven't seen each other in so, so long. It's been a week. It feels like ages. I took a whole week off Instagram. I wondered where all the posts also... Instagram is doing me fucking dirty, okay? No one is seeing my photos. It's happening to loads of people. Like it's really fucking weird. I agree. It's been happening to me for years. Yeah, do you remember after you came back from New York, what the fuck's happened? Like you haven't seen my picture. Yeah. Maybe they just really fucking weird. I agree. It's been happening to me for years. Yeah. Do you remember you, after you came back from New York, what the fuck's happened? I can't see my picture. Yeah. Maybe they just hate us now.

Maybe. Right. Listen. Say good. Go on. So I went to my friend's house the other day, just for like, she did a gorgeous like cheese and wine charcuterie situation. I saw the house and I thought, lovely. I know she's just redone it. It's amazing. So we were there and they were talking about how I think it was, I can't remember whose boyfriend it was. Like it's this new thing on a flow. If anyone has the flow app, I feel like every girl on the sun has the flow app. It's just good for like rough counting of the days and where you're at.

So her and her boyfriend have synced up. So there's this new part of it, which allows you to have your partner, your boyfriend or whoever to know where you're at in their cycles so they can like be aware, I guess, as such. Or they can be aware in terms of like, I don't know if you're using it from a contraception point of view, I don't know. Do you know what I mean? It's just good for them to be in the loop, I think.

So were they just checking daily or are they like, you're in a fucking foul mood. I'm not gonna react, I'm gonna go on to flirt. My friend clicked notifications allow and he was like on a business like thing and there was like someone sat next to him and he was like showing him an email and his phone popped out. It was like you're menstruating today. It's like no, no, no, no, no. This is for my girlfriend. And he was like, what the fuck? Like trying to over explain it. And I was like, so funny.

I think it's a really good- Expect some cramps this afternoon or like- Yeah, or like, you might have cloudy discharge today. I think it's a really good idea though, because guys don't understand. When I am coming off the end of my period, I am so emotional and then the week before I'm such a bitch. It's clockwork Yeah, mine's yeah. So really I get one week a month that I'm nice and normal, which is like ridiculous

You're always nice to me Yeah, they really take the wrath of it. They really do and they just really don't understand What I want to know is like do boys feel anything? Did they not have hormones like how are we suffering with the fact that we have to- I think Toby and Jamie suffer enough. Yeah, they fucking suffer enough. We wonder if that's hormone. And did you know that boys apparently discharge?

You make so much crap up. Wait, no, I'm not joking, they do. It's called smegma. Not saying Jamie does, I've never heard of this. It's called what? Smegma. Smegma is a combination of shed, I've never heard of this before. It's called what? Smegma. Smegma is a combination of shed skin cells, skin oils and moisture. It occurs in both

male and female genitalia. Right. That is not a discharge. Oh my God, I want to be sick. It collects around the clitoris and in the folds of the labia. Where is the bloke getting smegma because the willy's on the willy. Maybe behind the shaft or whatever you call it. Or like if you're not circumcised in between those little bits of the skin. So watch out for your smegma guys.

Okay, so I will tell you what happens to me in PMS. I lose all personality. Yeah, same. Same. Like if I'm out, I'm flat. I'm PMSing now and I am flat. And what happens is like you'll go to a wedding, which I go to and I'm like, what? And I'm talking as I'm talkingMSing now and I am flat. And what happens is like, you'll go to a wedding, which I go to and I'm like, what? And I'm talking, as I'm talking, I'm like, nothing. You know, you came for that lunch and you left and you're like, that's me at the moment.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've been in it for a solid three weeks. I'm like, there's nothing left to get. Oh God. But what is that? I don't know, but there's nothing worse. Because I get so jealous of these people that are always on great form. And I meet someone for the first time and I'm in that mood and I'm like, they must think I'm so fucking boring. I think it's mild burnout.

And so uncharming. I'm sure it is. Like your body, your brain's just like fried. I think either you're an extrovert or you're not. And I'm not an extrovert. I'm an introvert. I love being around people, but then I need to recharge. I'm not, I'm not fueling off of your energy and getting myself more energy from that.

Like I'm putting my all into that. Yeah. You're draining me slightly and then I need to go and go have a few hours alone. You actually don't drain me. This is the thing. There were certain people who were super close to me who will actually revive me. I think it's if you know someone really well and you're not doing this weird thing where you feel like you need to entertain. You can sit in silence. Yeah. The problem is, is I'm married to an actual true, true extrovert. Yeah, you are. And so what happens is he's like, I want to go out for dinner with people seven times

a week because that makes me feel good. And I'm like, that makes me feel like I want to slit my throat. Like it just exhausts me. Yeah, that exhausts me. And so that's really, what do you think Tove's is? Interfer, I reckon. He's like quite similar to me, I think. He's like's really, what do you think Tove's is? Interferential, I reckon. He's quite similar to me, I think. He's like, no, I just need to be at home.

I've done too many things now. I'm exhausted. I've seen too many people. Oh my God, I would just like die. He's quite similar. Even like my mum and dad were like, do you wanna come Sunday race this week? There's Sunday, and I was like, no.

I need to just be at home with Tove, be alone, like not speak. When you're not married to an extrovert, you don't know the envy I have of like you being with someone who can understand that. You know, like when we're getting ready for the Brits and he wants 900 people in the room and I'm like, I, by the time I get to the Brits, I am so drained. I felt so sorry for you guys.

I went and went to see Sophie straight away when she was getting ready. I get to the hotel and I nipped up my coffee. She was already, you were already in glam for however long, maybe an hour, two hours. And there was genuinely nine people in that room. And so she was like, guys, you can go and sit downstairs if you want, like have a coffee. Go downstairs. They're like, no, we're actually fine. We're fine standing. And she's like, for fuck's sake. I want to just get out. It's because you just feel it's too much. It's overwhelming. It's overstimulating. And then you feel... Sensory overload. Sensory overload. That for me is a really big thing. That's what happens

when you're at a wedding or a party and then you need the next day to recoup. But they've given you a fucking day three on the wedding and you're like, fuck, got to do it all over again. What was great about this wedding that I just went to, so I forgot. Oh, you had talked to me about that one. I just went to my cousin's wedding, which was skiing in Morzine. So fun. And it was honestly not only one of the best weddings I've ever been to, like from start to finish, it was breathtakingly beautiful. Like I couldn't quite understand when I heard it was like a skiing wedding.

I was like, is she going to come down in snow boots? Like what's the vibe? It was like on this lake with the mountains, it was unbelievable. And she has been with her now husband since she was, so that he gave like a key ring in year seven. So what's that, like 11 years old? Yes, I know.

So they, all the people there were like their school friends and it was just the most wonderful, like amazing, incredible energy. Everyone there just knew each other because normally at weddings, half the people don't know each other. Yeah, it's true. It was unbelievable and obviously because I was family, I didn't need to... Yeah, yeah. I was on the outskirts. I loved it.

Oh my God, how cool was that? It was so lovely. So did she walk down in a coat? No, it was really warm. Because she was lucky with the sun. It was so sunny and she walked down looking so stunning. I mean, it did get a little bit cold, but it was like 14 degrees maybe. Gorgeous.

Stunning. It was way warmer than it is here. That's actually lovely. That's perfect. Yeah, it was unbelievable. And then what did you all then recoup into another place for the reception inside? And the whole thing was inside. And then they came out for like five hours at one point.

And the music, you would have died. It was like every scene that we love. Like Natasha Benningville, like just all the good ones. And I was like, this is just unbelievable. And Jamie kept dancing, like, you know, in A Long Came Polly where he's like, he kept doing that. and every time we did it, I could see the like photographer thinking that's how he was dancing. And I was like, you've got like 10 photos of you dancing like that. And it was just too much.

Do you feel like you can see Jamie aging? As in like, not aging, aging, obviously he's still very young, but it's like, there's sometimes pinnacle moments in some of my friends, I'm starting to see it. I'm like, your mannerisms are now like way more adult. And it's like so weird. And I wonder with Jamie's age, because he's obviously like, Oh, big time. Big time. Past 35. So I'm like, the mannerisms are just slightly different. It's giving dad vibes slightly. And you looked at me and you went, he's really reminding me of my dad.

Oh yeah. It's just like subtle movements. Yeah, it is, it is. It's like almost like facial expressions, hand gestures. The way they ask and sit is just a different, and it's just older and every person goes in the same direction. And I'm starting to notice it about myself.

I'm like, that's what my mom does. In what way? Don't know. Just like certain things, I'm like, I felt like I looked like my mom when I did that. Do you ever get that? Yeah, but you do look so much like your mom. But I feel like I looked like how she would have done

something in a facial expression or a movement or. I do feel like the more I hang out with like younger people, like I'm like, I do feel old. Like Jamie's younger brother and his best friend were with us because they were also skiing with Jamie's family. And I was like, fucking hell, I just can't relate to anything they're saying.

They were telling me about brain rot, and I was like, what? Brain rot on TikTok, thank God you don't want it. Brainerot. Right, brain rot is like, lamp's going to pleb today. No, what are you talking about? That is what brain rot is. Thank you Lizzie.

Brain rot. Right, okay, I'll give you another one. As in R- in ROT at the end. Yeah. Or one word. Brain rot. Sky's going to eat lasagna later. This is brain rot. Is this an account? No this is brain rot on TikTok. What? And it's really quite something. Who the fuck came up with the name brain rot? Well it's brain rot because it's like so stupid it's rotting your brain. Got it, okay. And also, just the shit they find funny, I was like, ah, like no. Like they think the shit I do on TikTok or like the stuff Jamie like, they're like, no, no, no, no.

I can't get on board with Brain Rot. Yeah, I think more like 35 to 50 is more my vibe now. Yeah, she's in that age bracket. You know what's mental? I'm like, how old do you have to be to get the OAP badge for the train? You know that there's OAP cinemas, so old age pensioners go and they have their own cinema.

You always fascinate me the way you say cinema. Also, is it privacy or is it privacy? How do you say it? Privacy. Also, you know- Is it scone or scone? It's scone. It's scone. Yeah. It's never scone. Some people say scone. Yeah, they're wrong. Sweet Millie Bobby Brown. I see. Yeah, it's just not okay.

Did you watch her video? So basically, Millie Bobby Brown did a story on her Instagram, didn't she? Because she was saying like, she's grown up in the public eye since she was what, like 11? And all these reporters have been doing stories on her being like Millie Bobby Brown, looking like an old age. Just like awful things. What were some of the others? Basically, it was all about her appearance. Calling it a mommy makeover, which is just so mean.

As she was like, I'm aging because I'm growing up. Like I'm growing into a woman. Why does everyone still expect me to be that 11 year old? But also like, even if I am putting on a dress, like let's just say like one of us like puts on a dress because we like it, but in my age it's by a few years. You don't need all these fucking articles like being like, she's aged or she's like aged beyond her years or she looks old. It's just so nasty. It's so fucking nasty. And you know what else is so nasty? Like all of these esthetician ones being

like, Baladie before and after. Oh, if you can see her lips raised here, it's like, we all wear fucking makeup, like are you stupid? I know, I know. And also just get her live, if she's had her lips done, good for her. I'm like, she was 18 in one photo and she's 25 in another.

I know. I'm like, her face is gonna be different. She hasn't had, they're like, she's had jaw surgery, eye lift, like. What about Millie? About any person that's in the public eye, that's grown up in the public eye, their face has changed obviously quite significantly as they've gotten older. And they think they've, they go nose job. I'm like, their nose looks exactly the fucking same. Now you're like

making us all think that everyone's had a nose job and they haven't. I know they're just so mean and they just do it all for clickbait. And I'm like, why are we still scrutinizing people's faces and like tearing people's faces apart? Like don't do a post on someone else's face. I also think Millie Bobby Brown really doesn't look like she's had an ounce of anything done. She looks exactly the fucking same to me. I think it's more so how she's being styled in her hair more than like facial reconstruction. But even that, I'm like the amount of different styles that I had from the age of 11 to now

30, like I changed every single year my style changes. Like why is she not allowed to experiment with her hair? Firstly, she looks fucking great. Secondly, why can't she wear her hair blonde? What? Is there a way that you have to look when you're a certain age? It's almost like there's like a wave of a hate hate train and then one person does it so everyone feels like they can jump on the bandwagon. I love how she asked all the reporters names. I thought

that was so fucking weird. And most of them sadly were women, which really was annoying and upsetting. I think we should do this more actually. I think people should start outing people because people are just being so nasty. And with TikTok now, it's just getting out of control. You can't fucking get away with bullying somebody like that. But I think she looks amazing. Also, my husband is hard stuff. Is he?

Oh my God, John Bon Jovi's son. Wait, I need to have a Google of him. Also, that's another thing. I think people are like throwing shade at her because she's got married at young and I'm like, what? Because she's got her shit together and she's got a really nice husband and she's like killing her grit. Are they throwing shade about the youngness? Well, they're like, she's had a mummy makeup because she's trying to be like,

oh, I'm not a child bride. Oh. And I'm like, no, she's not and she doesn't look like a mum. I didn't realize that was why. Oh my God, he looks like Leonardo DiCaprio. He's so hot. Okay, right team, shall we get on to Dilemmas. which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling. Winning in an exciting live dealer studio,

exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Announcement, Tynies. we've got some really exciting news. You asked for it and we've listened. We're bringing you a premium version of Wednesdays. That's right, and it's called The Follow Up.

If you want ad-free bonus episodes and dilemma follow ups, you can subscribe to The Follow Up now. Check the link in the description of this episode or the bio of our Instagram. You'll have access to our private feed, get special access to our group chat and so much more. Dilemma 1. Hey, Sophie and Melissa. I really need some advice.

So I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of years now and at the start of our relationship, things were amazing. We were all over each other all the time. Honestly, I was always on initiating because I've always had a pretty high sex drive. But lately something's changed and I don't know why. My sex drive just isn't what it used to be. I do still enjoy sex, but I don't feel as confident as I once did and it's starting to affect things. My boyfriend has been the one initiating more and I find myself just not feeling it. Like the other day he ran a bath and set the mood.

That's so not me. I have never in my life. Has anyone ever fucking done that for me? Not fucking me. I'll be having words. But instead of getting into it, I just couldn't stop laughing. And now he's told me my reaction is really

making him feel insecure, which obviously isn't what I want at all. I love my boyfriend so much and I want to feel that spark again, not just for him, but for me too. Any advice on how to get back in the zone and make sure he still feels good about our sex life? I'm not worried about this. No, this happens on the ride. Like this is like happening in every single relationship. A hundred percent. I am not worried for you at all. Firstly, have you gone on contraceptive pill? Because when I went on Yasmin, me too. I like literally flatlined the libido.

No libido. Zed off. And I didn't really even notice it was because of that I didn't correlate until I came off the pill and I was like, hell no. Same. I was like, what's going on here? And actually it's a real thing. It does really make the libido disappear. It says adios. Like it's gone. Like there's none. What I will say are there are things like Macca powder, which is meant to really, really hydrate your libido. And I will say,

I don't know why, but at university I had Macca, not for that reason, but I used to put it in my smoothies. It's really good for like energy. Good, and good hormones. It's really good for like- The energy. And good hormones. It's like it's good for us to have anyway, but- Right.

Anyway, I had that Macca and I remember at uni being like, hello, something's wrong with me. Shut up. Yes, I'm not fucking joking. Shut up. And I got my whole house on it and we were like, this is not right. Right. To the point I actually had to stop because I was like, this is fucking weird.

It was a lot. So I would say number one, get the Macca and put it in the proteins movie or something because it tastes really disgusting. God, so are we still using the macaroon? No, no, no, no, no, but I'm actually now just thinking in my head. Maybe you should get, I'm going to go straight to the other food shop. No, you actually should. And also I will say it gives you unbelievable energy. You know what? It's good for the men too. Put it in both your smoothies every day.

So I think we should be doing this right. Let's just, really good advice. Macaroon, let's do this every day girls. I think all of us should be getting on Maka. Shall we all do Maka for a month and just all talk about what we've had? Let's experiment. If we've seen a difference. Maybe some serious crazy stories are going to happen. Maybe some pregnancies are going to happen. Maybe some, I don't know what's going to happen. What I will say also with this dilemma, it's totally fine to laugh a bit. I find myself giggling and lolling with Toby quite a lot sometimes because it is like

when you're really comfortable with somebody and they're funny. And then you're sounding them serious. It's like, it's a weird mood to try and get into. If Jamie ran me a bath, I'd be like so sweet but I'd piss myself. I'd be like, what the hell? Cause also like they're trying to be serious

cause they're not going to be like, oh, run me. And then you're like, oh. Just don't laugh at him. Be like, no, I'm laughing at myself. but then just try and just get into it. Just try and like block out. Do you know what I mean? Just try and block out the laughter because I get, then he'd be like, no, I know. And you don't want to kill his like libido his libido. Also, can I just say like, for some reason, libido is just much better when

you're on the start of a relationship, like when you've been there for a bit, like naturally it's going to decline. Also, like when you're tired, your libido goes, when there's so many factors to a libido. Also, I always find like when you look someone in the face, when you're having sex, I just start laughing. Like, just try, don't do that. Sometimes you have to push through the confrontingnessness of making eye contact with someone and being that. It's quite a lot. It gets almost funnier the longer you've been with them because you're so comfortable and

you're not that sexy. It gets to a point where you're not walking around in lingerie. Yeah. The inhibitions are like, I'm just trying to think. Maybe set them a couple nudes. Lights are really important. Don't have too many fucking lights on. Don't have darkness because I then sometimes get worried that people are imagining, like, oh, like trying to envision having sex with someone else. I'm like, Toby.

Wait, no, I'm like pitch black. No, I'm not. We like dimmed lights and I like that. Perfect. Like a dim lit room. Perfect. I'm not the type of person who could just walk out in laundry and be like, yeah, you could. What you could do to like- But I'd like to drink. I probably could. Exactly. I'm not encouraging that, but you know what? Sometimes it helps a bit just to sort of let that wall down. Loosen up the fluids. Let the juices flow. That's what I meant. Loosen up the fluids. It lets the juices flow. Yeah, it does. And it just lets your, what is it called?

Your libido rise. It just lets that sort of wall down. Yeah. So I think just to get back into it, also don't worry if you're like giggling a bit with him. I will say also, like sometimes like your hormones can hit you in random points of the day and you're more randy in the day when boyfriend's not around and what you're going to do. And then when it comes to bedtime, that'll be. What was I saying? You've phoned me way off. Can I just say that would be the worst, I really want to know a story of anyone ever

getting caught doing that by their boyfriend. What, with a toothbrush? Or anything. With a vibrator. Like, I suddenly thought that the other day and I was like, that would be brutal. Yeah. Well, I guess it's like just walking on your boyfriend. Boyfriend wanking, which I've never done.

Which would also be brutal. Which would also be slightly like, I would be like. Oh, jarring. Yeah. I really want to see that. I'd be livid. Anyway, so I think that that's what we've got to do. I think this is actually a really easy problem to solve.

You love your boyfriend so much that you're obviously still attracted to him. And sometimes you'll go through phases of not being horny for six months and that's fine. Just push through and you'll still enjoy it. But you might not be as like, I know what it's like when you do really have a libido. It's actually so much better. If everything feels great, I get that. When you're a bit like, oh, really tonight. Look, we've all been there.

It's hard as well when you've got like a forced window. It's like there's a forced window of having sex like, right, okay, right, 8pm till 10pm at night. Or like bath time. Oh, well actually no, I was quite cozy in my pajamas. Didn't want to get wet. I know. But here I am. But sometimes you've got to allow them to seduce you and do their job, you know? You do. And sometimes you just want to...

And vice versa. Yeah. Have you ever had sex in water? Tried to. Hard. I think it's okay, but it's like, that's prone for cystitis. You can't really feel much. You can't really feel much, but it-

Why is that? It gets rid of like your, like- Yeah, and then when you come out, there's a lot of water leaking out of you. Yes, and it's big time you're right for cystitis. Yeah, don't recommend. So if you're prone to cystitis, wouldn't recommend shagging in water.

I would just like have the bath and maybe do other bits and then, you know. Fiddle about and then go straight to the bed. Tell them the bed's lovely. Okay. Let us know how it goes, but I really wouldn't worry too much. We've all been there. Love you. Love you. Dilemma two. Hi, Sophie and Melissa. I broke up with my boyfriend of nine and a half years last year after he told me he never wanted to marry me but still wanted to stay together. I realized I spent our entire relationship prioritizing his wants over mine so I chose myself. Later I found journals where he had written about being in love with one of my best friends

from work for two and a half years. He described me as stupid and her as beautiful and even admitted he wouldn't leave me until he was sure he had her. Oh my f- When I'd questioned him in the past, he called me crazy and insisted I was imagining things. Reading it all was devastating. This is fucking brutal. I never told my friend about his feelings but our friendship is deteriorated partly because she wasn't very supportive during my breakup or my grandfather's passing, both of which happened within six months. I also can't look at her the same way. He never cheated and it's not her fault, but I don't know what to do with our friendship.

Should I tell her the truth? I started dating someone new and I can tell she thinks I've moved on too quickly or is siding with my ex it really hurts should I just end the friendship fucking no I want to kill him for Zata's like I hate him also I just I'm not writing journals and why are you writing that shit in your journal you fucking weirdo yeah like fucking hell don't fucking write that shit down don't fucking leave your journal hanging around yeah it's just so weird fair enough you want to write down like what you're grateful for and like my gratitude journal. Lovely. Or like what your hopes and dreams are. Yeah well this is a hope and a dream of his clearly. Let's not fucking write down how you think your girlfriend's stupid and her best friend's beautiful. No!

I don't believe a boy would write that down if he hadn't had some sort of an indication from the best friend. I don't know because the fact that he's writing this in his journal is just red flag weird oh boy anyway. Like I'm sorry if you boys do this. The problem is if she's starting with your ex already, I think if you tell her, sometimes it can open up this can of worms. So like when you hear someone fancies you, for some reason you can look at them in a different light.

I know it's really, really shit. So like, so if you tell her that he said all this she might then think kind of actually fancy him too and then they might end up together. So you have to be prepared for that to be a potential outcome. That's obviously worst-case scenario but I do think we need to think ahead. In all fairness she hasn't really done anything wrong but I can imagine if she doesn't know the scenario, she's a bit like, why have you just dumped your ex and then you've moved on? She shouldn't be judging you for moving on quickly. Like that's your life.

You've not done anything wrong by doing that. You've not done anything wrong. You're not hurting anybody. Your ex didn't wanna marry you. You've broken up with him. You've done the right thing and you've moved on. Your friend can't judge you for that. Also like I would have to vent to you and be like,

how fucking weird is he? God, sorry. Toby's been keeping a journal and it's been like, Sophie's so beautiful, this is just a fucking idiot. No, I was literally... I would naturally hate you. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I just would not... I couldn't be your friend

because I would just be so upset with you. And I know it wouldn't be your fault, but I just couldn't possibly. I would never be able to look at you again. Right, so how are we going to get... Now we've put that into perspective, how are we going to give advice? That's fucked. That's fucked.

I think you've got to distance it. You're never going to be able to be her friend again, which is so sad, but like... I think she's siding with your ex anyway, so just let that happen. And then you might get over it. You might not care in a few months about any of this stuff because you're going to be moved on hopefully with this new boy, this gorgeous new boy, you've done a really fucking good thing by breaking up with your boyfriend.

Thank God you found this piece of information out after you've broken up, you've moved on. When you feel like the timing's right, then just tell your best mate and just be aware of the fact that they might then get together. That's all I can say. I would actually really have to,

I hope you've vented to someone. I would have to, it's you, I would have to call Ruby immediately. And then I don't know what would happen. The problem is, is like, I would have actual anger towards you, which would not be your fault. I know, but Ruby would talk you out of that. Do you know what I mean?

Exactly, yeah. And then we'd all sit together and you'd be like, oh my God, you'd probably cry your eyes out. Yes. Do you remember when I had that dream and you and Jamie had cheated on me? I just really popped back in my head. She fucking hated me for a while.

Can I just witness, talk you guys through the dream? So Jamie's got a bomber jacket on and a cap, and it was very Made in Chelsea days. I could visualize his outfit. Me and Jamie went on a date at Made in Chelsea once. And she, oh my gosh, hey, he did. And he had his arm around you, and I'm left on the side of the road,

and you don't see me, and you're like, nating away, and he looks at me, and he's like, and Carrie's on walking with you, and the pain was actually unbearable. That's something that you worry about in waking life, otherwise you wouldn't have had a dream about it. I know, it's like my subconscious going, I'm probably going to have something.

Maybe I'll find a journal one day. Oh my god, no don't. I know that would be awful. This whole journal thing is just so weird. Yeah, that's the weirdest thing about it. We don't like this boy. He's a fucking weirdo and he writes a journal called- Don't bitch about your fucking girlfriend in your journal. You know what I would do? I'd probably tell all his friends because I think hopefully

they love you and they'd be like, what a fucking loser. He's writing love letters about like a girl that he's never gonna get. Like it's so grand. But then it's also a bit of an ego hit for her to then tell people that he's done that, which is maybe slightly embarrassing. So I think we just say,

we just didn't like him anymore. Maybe you could always like get with someone that he's like always had an insecurity about. Go for the kill, go for the juggler. Yeah. But this is very toxic, so we could just stick with what you're doing. Yeah, what's happening to you at the moment?

I don't know. Such toxic advice. I know, but this is really upsetting It's all because of that fucking dream She's like, I mean, it's gonna sabotage me and Jamie later Oh, okay Please update us on what you decide to do and if you actually have come to a sensible decision Please let us know what you've done because we probably need to be updating. Okay, ready for dilemma three?

Yeah, okay. I live in a house with all of my girlfriends and so far it's been smooth sailing. But recently my housemate, let's call her Annie, started seeing a new guy and for some reason their bodyclocks are completely opposite to the rest of the world. Wait, what? What?

They are nocturnal, which means I'm sleeping and they're shagging loudly. Oh no. For context, we share a floor and the only thing separating me from the boom boom boom is a very thin exposed brick wall. Every, oh my God, every slap, whisper and moan. I hear everything. Oh my God, that's really graphic. But now it feels like she just doesn't care that I'm lying there wide awake listening to my will. That's awful.

I actually don't think there's anything more jarring than listening to someone having sex. No, it's honestly- I've never really heard anyone have sex before. Oh my God, I have. I really have. I was about to tell you here and I just actually can't bring myself to do. No, I can't because it's just, it's gone. Rest in peace with my granddad. I can't. That was just something that has taken over my life. I thought I had my gr- Right, okay. Should I tell the story? I'm gonna tell it. No, I know it's really bad. I'm actually gonna have to just pause and tell you the story, okay? Rest in peace.

Rest in peace. I was like, oh my God. I was like, where is he? Because I don't know if I should tell it because rest in peace. He's not with us anymore. But then I thought, you know what? He'd probably be quite proud of it because he was really fucking old when this happened. So I lived in like, we lived in a well, not a well, what's it called? Like it had a well in our living room, which went from the living room into the downstairs bedroom, this downstairs bedroom. So it was like a gap into this bedroom. And I'll never forget me and my sister were watching

Friends and we were like, what is that noise? And we went out. We paused it and we were like, we went around the whole house and then we went down the well and we were like, what did you see? Granddad and grandma just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Right. This is a good example for Dilemma too. Libido is still going strong. Yeah, there you go. Well into their 80s. There you fucking go.

Jesus Christ. I know, I know, and it really scarred me. I couldn't say bye to him. I couldn't say bye to him. I had to run to my room. I was like, no, I can't. Which room ever? Was that the last time?

No, no, no, it wasn't. But I was like, I can't. When he left to go back to Surrey, I was like, no, no, I have to hide in my room. 70? Oh shit! Yes. Yeah. Oh no!

And he was really fucking old. Okay, come on then, we gotta get up. Oh my God, good for granddad. I know, good for him. Sorry, right, back to the dilemma. The real issue, it's so uncomfortable and the lack of sleep is killing me. Sex at 4 a.m. on a school night, not cool.

Especially when she knows how thin the walls are. Who ever dealt with this with a shared house? How do I bring it up without sounding like a total killjoy? I get that needs must, but I cannot keep sacrificing my sleep or sanity hell. I would bang on the wall when they're doing it. Like shut the fuck up and they probably won't even, I've actually had a friend bang on the wall to me

and I was so mortified. And like you never speak, you're just like, you stop instantly and then you never do it again. But you never talk, I'm not like the next morning, sorry, you just don't talk about it. Some people really don't give a fuck about this sort of thing which blows my mind. I find the noise of people having sex so fucking jarring.

It's horrible. Have you ever heard anyone having sex? No, I've never. I know that my poor brother has with my ex-boyfriend. That must be awful. Oh my God. It's just- But he was quite young and not so jarring. But I don't think boys really care. I don't think Jamie would care. Have I ever heard? I don't think I have. Do you remember that poor person that was having sex recently and it was all, it went all over TikTok on the internet and they were having sex in the office. You must have seen that video. Of course I did. The woman with her big tits out.

Yes. Oh God. Like that. I mean, God almighty. That was horrific. Okay, right. What's our advice? So Sophie's right. Bang on the, and also just be quite pissed off and be like... I'd be like, shut the fuck up. Don't joke about it. Don't joke about it because then you're like allowing them to do it. You need to show how serious you are. Also like why are they having sex at 4 AM in the morning on a school night? Like get

fucking great. They recently got together. I feel like it's one of those weird things. And it's just eight times a night. Yeah. Just in the middle of the night. Like sort of wake up, roll over and it's happening again. Christ alive. They must be exhausted the next day. This won't last long as well. This 4am situations will not last long. Get yourself some earplugs, get yourself a fan so it's worrying noise in the background. Just to help drown it out.

But also bang, bang, bang, shut the fuck up. And then hopefully there's just dead pound silence after that. And if there isn't, bang, bang, bang, shut the fuck up. Yeah. And then next morning act as if it hasn't happened and be like, I don't know if I can talk about it. Yeah. Just don't do it again. Also-

And give her that sort of treatment and then act completely normal. But you need to make sure it's not a jokey thing because I think if it is, they'll just do it again. Yeah, because they're obviously thinking- They're having a weird of a time. Oh, the slaps. The clap that they... The slaps and the moans that you're going to... No, no, no, no.

I can't. I actually can't. It's horrific. It's horrific. I'm just trying to think of uni where I've had any of those experiences where I really didn't. Oh my God. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Hold on. When I was at school, we would all have these like parties and everyone would obviously sleep in like the same room and like people would have sex all in the same room. So I've kind of seen... Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've like heard... You don't really hear much the same room and like people would have sex all in the same room. So I've kind of seen. Oh no, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you've like heard- You don't really hear much, if I'm being honest with you, you don't hear much because people are just trying so hard to be quiet. That's something that we can hear. But you can see, there's ruffling of the covers and blah, blah, blah. That's still bad though. Yeah, there's a breath.

Yes. That's just a breathing. Yeah. Oh God. Sometimes when you can, Even hearing someone kissing is still jarring for me. Like when I'm watching someone kissing on the screen, I'm like, a lot too much. Yeah, me too. It's actually freaking horrific. Okay, right. I think we've solved this though. Yeah, I think we have solved this. And like, you know what? Your other flatmates must have the same situation. You know what? She's at that one bank, she's going

to be so shocked by you just don't. I've had it to me before and I honestly was like, oh my God. And you just immediately stop. So I think that's what you've got to do. And if she doesn't stop, you've got to say, shut the fuck up. Yeah. You need to be really firm. Yeah. No messing around.

No bullshit. Or you just do it back to her. Like one night when she's not with that guy, you show her what she's listening to and it will hopefully just make her feel really fucking embarrassed. Some people are just meant to live alone and that's fine. So your flatmate obviously just needs to be alone with her boyfriend. Go to the motel. Go to his fucking house. Go to his house. Fuck off his neighbors. Or like just have sex quietly. Like it can be done. We've all had sex with your parents

in the room next door. Yeah, why is he being so loud? Why are you clapping about? Like you know when that noise happens, it's game over. Also, you're right, at 4am, this many times in a row. Yeah, give it a rest. God. Okay, look, I think we've given some good advice there. Let us know how it goes. And I just hope for the best really.

Please tell us what happens. Yeah, please do. And what advice you give and if it's successful. Because I need to know. I must know and I will make a picture of them just to put a face to the name. I would love to know the 4am nocturnal sex creatures. Me too. I would really love to know because I'm picturing a very specific type of couple who are shanking

eight times a night, particularly at 4 a.m. every single night. Me too. Okay, right. Well, end of the episode. Oh my God, that went so quickly. Shiza Minnelli. We love you guys so much. We love you guys. Thank you for writing in and please keep writing in.

Thank you for listening. Do we want some voice notes? No, no voice notes for me. Okay, we don't want voice notes, but we would like pictures. We would like some photos. I love a picture. We occasionally get a photo and it's unbelievable. Yeah, we occasionally get a photo.

Also, don't forget to listen to our follow-up episode, which you can find still on Spotify. We would like pictures. We would like some photos. I love a picture. We occasionally get a photo and it's unbelievable. Also don't forget to listen to our follow-ups episode which you can find still on Spotify. And we talk about more dilemmas, follow-ups. Lots of tea. If you wanna find out, just go listen. Love you. Love you guys, thank you for listening, bye.

Bye. Fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily jackpots, a chance to win with every spinner and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires

play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Research and supply. See full terms at canada.casino.fando.com. Please play responsibly. Hello, I'm Jamie Lang. And I'm Sophie Habou. And we have been married for a year. One whole year. Join us as we navigate married life, hear wild stories from our listeners, and meet some of our favourite celebrity couples.

That's right. Each week we dive into the world of newlywed bliss. Is that what it is, bliss? Jamie, just pretend that we're newlyweds. One year down and a lifetime to go. Love you, honey. Listen, every Monday just search newlyweds wherever you get your podcasts. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa?

Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, Tynies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favourite app, how cool is that? Amazing! And all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.