Wednesdays - 85. Sophie Spills the MIC Tea: Who Was Rude to Her?!

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

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Hi, it's Morgan from Off the Shelf and I'm here to tell you how my Google Pixel 9 helps me read more. Google actually gifted me this phone and now I use it non-stop. The other day, I was trying to remember the name of this book someone recommended and instead of spiraling into a 40 minute social media scroll, I just asked Gemini on my Pixel. What's that romantic book with a competition and a ghost helping her through the trials. It's like having that one friend who always knows what you're talking about. Learn more about the Google Pixel 9 at store.google.com. Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists.

We're not. We're not experts in anything. In fact, we just challenge all our shit. We love giving you guys advice, but as we said- We love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Today's episode- Is very fun. It is good. So I have recently discovered what Gluck Gluck

3000 is so me and Sophie discussed that. I also talk about how I can read Jamie's mind. I think Mermaids are real and so do Sophie so we dive into that a little bit in this documentary I'm watching. A tiny also writes in about her boyfriend's widow's peak. And I ended up talking about how Jamie watched me shave my vagina. Hello, listeners. We're back. We're diving in because we're gagging to talk about something, but I love you all dearly. Literally gagging. Melissa just went glug, glug, is it glug, glug 2000?

So apparently it's glug, glug 3000. I had never heard of it until I was at the pub last week with my girlfriend. Like Call Her Daddy? I have only watched Call Her Daddy recently with the interviews. I miss the OG Call Her Daddy sex chat. Right, I didn't listen to it either.

I need to go back. But I knew about that because everyone was talking about it on the internet. Never, ever, ever. She also mentions it a lot. Like Alex Keefer's like, hi my Gluck Gluck. Like it's like one of her, it's like almost calling them Tynys. Anyone who doesn't know, I'm going to explain it. Yeah. It's a type of blowjob, okay,

and you have apparently, have you done it? I don't know. Can you remind me what it is? So apparently you have, you're both, both hands around the penis and then you're going up and down but I think you twist the hands. Obviously that's how I give a blowjob. How do you give it? No, but the hands are the important thing. They twist like this. Yes. That's how I give a blowjob. Both hands. Yes. Twisting. I've never done that before. Both hands.

What do you do there? One hand. Oh, one hand up and down. And I follow really. Yeah. I don't twist from side to side. This is like I'm salting a pepper grind situation. But this, maybe I heard it from Mel. Apparently it's phenomenal. That's how I do it. Haven't tried it yet. That's why I didn't somebody say

there was a room that I'm really gonna get. That's right. Because she's been doing the Alex K... Guys. We need to talk about it. I'm actually getting hot. Feel sick. That's why.

I've been doing the Glutton Rock 3000 for fucking years. Let me tell you, she got that from someone else because I watched it on an OG show. Fine. Or maybe my sister told me years ago. Maybe. There was a rumor about Sophie, which is obviously not... No, rumor is actually the wrong word. An ex-boyfriend was very pleased with the performances that Sophie was putting in with

the date. No, no, no, no. It's actually really hideous. I think it was like before we came here, please, I actually can't even talk about it. It's so hideous. But look, there's worse things to be said about you. I know. I was like such a compliment. But we didn't really know. Were we friends? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you and him had like, I think you were dating at this point, you'd split up with him. He was your boyfriend at the time. He was like, gosh, they're giving you great plays. It's actually quite hideous in here. You must have been like, la la la la la. I remember thinking, God, I wish that people said that about me.

Well, there you go. Now you're going to do the glub. They really don't. I'm not good at that. Have you done the glub glub? Having given it a go, yeah. Oh no, you can be really lazy when you blow it up. Like sometimes Jamie's like, oh, no, this is TMI. But he's like, you're just not, I'm just like, it's like a quick going to go into the net to set. So you're warming the oven. I am like at this point in my relationship, it's such a rarity that I'm doing that for the full duration. Oh yeah, gotcha. Absolutely.

It's just not happening. It's literally once a year that you get the full duration and it's like on a special occasion. Yeah, no no quite literally. So the Glut Cluck 3000, if anyone else has given that a go, can you please tell us? Yeah. Oh, any funny stories when you've tried it? Wait, so you've got to do it on Tobi. I know, so when I found out about it, I spoke to Tobi about it, he's like, yeah, let's try

it. And then, I bet he's like, should we get him now? We didn't, we didn't, we didn't. Okay, well. We've been at like family's houses over End, that would have been highly disrespectful. So do you know what the gluck gluck nine thousand is? No. It's when you really deep throw it and then you put the balls in your mouth too.

Look, listen, you've got to have a really good gag request again. How is that even possible? You also need a really large mouth. Also, like, the dick if it's really hard, it's not bending back. No, I mean, like, you're choking. I could not do that. Also how small are these willies to fit the balls and the willy in the mouth?

Well you're really, you're like, your gag reflex is off the charts if you're able to do that, you know what I mean? That is physically not possible. Should we create one? Oh my God, I have no dits and tricks on this. Like zero. Also, can you talk about your bracelet?

Cause I've got something I need to tell you about that. Okay so my mum had this really old bracelet. I'm just gonna do a description for the listeners. It's like we got it when we lived in America and like and we used to live in like the desert and it was very like cowboy vibes and everyone would... yeah. Yellowstone? Which are you not thinking of? Quite yellowstone. yeah you are. So there was like turquoise stones everywhere, which I was obsessed with at the time because it was like my birthstone. I was like, oh my God, it's so beautiful. But it's very like Native Americans.

So they had all this gorgeous jewelry and this is silver with like cowboys. There's two cowboys in the middle, horses either side, like engraved into this bangle. Stunning. And then all of these beautiful like flowers. And I remembered it because I was watching Yellowstone with Toby and I was like, oh my mum's got that bracelet somewhere. And it also has a matching belt buckle like yours,

a big silver round one with like a gorgeous little like display on it. I know. I need to get that. I forgot to tell you, guess who I walked past the other day in Marlbone, Beth Dutton. Shut the fuck up. Oh you have told me that.

Oh I did. You have told me that. Oh, I did? You have told me that. It was honestly the best moment of my life. I literally was on the phone and in her face, the window is down in the cabin, I went, ah, here's Beth Dutton. She literally just looked at me and her little lip like, lent up a bit.

Oh yeah, you said, you said, you said. And she had like massive aviators on and like a Jamie hat, like a boy cap, like you know, not a girly cap. Right, she's in disguise. She was covering up. She doesn't want to be seen. But she had that same swag, like a boy cap, like, you know, not a girly cap. She was covered up. She was covered up. But she had that same swag, like she is more than sexy lady. So guys, for any of the listeners who don't know,

Beth Sutton is from Yellowstone and she wears sort of like sexy boho-y cowboy dresses with like an ice boot, but like fucked up hair. And sometimes she'll wear a suit and she looks just smoke show in it, doesn't she? She's really, she's, and she like literally gets beaten up to a pulp and just rocks around with her scar all over her face. I know.

The scar's perfectly placed as well. I'm like, oh, I kind of want one of those. Stars Toby, is she the male gaze? Toby's like, I can appreciate that maybe some people- I think she's the female gaze. But he was like, oh, I don't think she's hot. But then one of my brother's friends thinks she is the sexiest thing he's ever seen. Yeah, loads of boys I know are like,

mm, don't say it, every girl is like, I let you go last week. I think it's because she's such a like, she's so aggressive, but then so feminine at the same time. I think she's the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my entire life. She's so, it's like, it's like the fringe, and then this like little scar that she's now got,

her little war wound, I'm like obsessed, and the smudgy makeup. And the lips as well. The lips, she's always got this cute little hole like this. Yeah, you're obsessed with this hole. Holding her beer bottle. I don't know what, I'm like just analyzing her face. I know. I really look at her and I'm like, God, I wish I could have a fringe. You're so lucky with that.

You know what I will say about fringes? It's hard, but it gets greasy in a day because it's touching your skin and the moisturiser and the makeup just gets in there. Are you really glad you said goodbye to the fringe? Yeah, it's too much maintenance. I never do anything with my hair. It's too much. If I was willing to blow dry the fringe every day, wash it every day, I was like, I just can't do this anymore. And I couldn't just whack it up in a bun because it'd fall down and I'd be like, oh, then I have these weird clips in and then it would be like this. It just wasn't cute. I loved it, but I agree. It's like, it's a time and a place really, isn't it? It's not

a long, dampy thing with the fringe. Maybe when I've got a wrinkly forehead and I want to cover it with the fringe. Should we tell everyone about our new revelation? Oh my God. Yeah. So as you all know, Melissa is like toxic free head to toe. And I recently have become well easy, toxic free head to toe. And I love it guys. I get my little Yucca app out. Scan, scan, scan.

Scan, scan, scan. And it's so fun, but I've just bought the toxic free shampoo and conditioner. So I use at the moment and what I will say, so I'll caveat that slightly what you just said. We're not toxin free. I try and do it where I don't mind sacrificing a certain thing.

There are lots of things I use where the Yucca app is gonna be like red, but I'm like, you know what? I just can't have this, not in my life. So the shampoo that I've been using for the past couple months has been this green people probiotic shampoo. They've got loads of different ones, right? I walk into DaySafi's, look different.

Bearing in mind, Safi says this to me virtually every two weeks. She thinks that I've changed my whole face every two weeks. I don't know what it is. She's, something's different. What is it? That's so mean of me. I can't answer it. I know. It's like one of those backhanded things. You look so nice, but what's different? I'm like, you've done something. Sometimes your skin is glowing. I'm like, what's she done then? It's just genetics on.

Yeah, something's going on. Anyway, so it's obviously- And I'm like, what's she done then? It's just genetics on. Yeah, something's going on. Oh my God. Anyway, so it's obviously. No, no, sometimes you go, I'm ovulating, I'm really pretty at the moment. And I'm like, oh, okay, and off I go with my day. But you are not ovulating now, so what's different? I'm not ovulating.

I'm fugly at the week. The week before a period, it's like, you can't, and the week of a period is like, I'm not you either. And then ovulation, I mean mean everything tends to go quite well. I'm going to get the oar ring and I'm going to get natural cycles, link it up so I know exactly when I'm ovulating because sometimes I just, I'm like, hmm, am I just telling myself I'm ovulating because my flow app is telling me? I need to just, I want to kind of be sure, but I do definitely feel like just more positive

about myself and life in general. And I think I might not look like that, but I think I do because my hormones are all good and happy and nice. So who knows? Well, look, the minute after your period, like your Eastern rises anyway, so you just, you tend to feel much better

that whole time until your next period. So we get a two week stint of like feeling pretty great. Crazy and then you have two weeks like not feeling so good. Crazy and then the rest two weeks, like not feeling so good. I'm not the best PMS, it really depends though. Sometimes I can be like really foul, other times I can have a great period and I'm like, didn't feel any different. I'm the same.

Sometimes I'm like a raging bitch. I definitely am so hungry the week before my period, like considerably hungry and I need a sweet treat three times a day. Like you will see me, I will go up and I will need a handful of those chips. And I can't deny them to myself. And chocolate all the way through.

And then the week after, I'm just blessed. Everything is lovely. As in like you just feel really nice. I feel so nice, I love everyone. Like I'm so in love with Jamie. Like everything's amazing. Foreman's is actually fucking like so powerful and bizarre, isn't it? Like it really freaks me out actually how it can make you feel so different. I know.

Like last week I was like, Sophie, I feel really flat. I'm looking at Toby and I feel nothing. No, no. Did you tell them that? I feel really, really flat. Yeah. I was like, I was like, God, this sucks. I was like, I just feel really lost in myself. I was like, I feel no love. We're like quite, he's been so open and honest to me about his stuff.

I'm like, I can say this shit, sorry. I was like, I obviously do love you, but right, but the week before Miriam Barbados, I looked at him and every second I was like, you're a God. I was like, you are a God and I love you so much. I want you to get down on one knee. I want to have your child. Fucking love you so much.

And then the week after we get back and I'm like, hmm, that's a lot of God, man. Just felt like so, ugh, nothing. Just nothing. I literally said to her, I was like, I think next week you're fine. And I did, I woke up a few days later and it sloped off. But I was like, this is weird

because I'm meant to be ovulating. And I felt like that, and that's never happened to me before. You might have ovulated late. A few days later. That's why I would like to this is weird because I'm meant to be ovulating and I felt like that when that's never happened to me before. You might have ovulated late. A few days later. That's why I would like to know this natural cycle is just a good piece of mind to be like, aha, well that makes sense, doesn't it?

I ovulate on day 22 every month. I need to check that. How was that and I meant to ovulate on day 15? Okay, so it is different for everybody. This is the thing, you never know. Sorry guys, just looping back to the start of the story. We got really distracted. So Sophie looked at me when I walked in and was like,

oh my God, it looks so different. And I was like, I know exactly what it is. It's my hair. I have to get my hair dyed every four weeks because I'm really gray. And the shampoo I use strips out the hair color. That's why the grays are coming through. Yeah, and lightens my hair slightly, the dye does.

Naturally when it goes on, any dye does. But this shampoo is obviously stripping out my color so quickly. So I have to get it dyed every four weeks. And I've only just realized that that's obviously what it is. Because I said it to her straight away. I was like, by the way, I've got this toxic free shampoo. Yeah. The minute I used it, I was like, why are all my highlights so abrupt? Like the toner had been taken out. It was like streaky blonde. I was like, all the toner has been stripped out. Okay. If I was blonde, you wouldn't see any of the greys.

I think you should just let it go grey, honestly. Make it a bar. I'm too young to go grey. Weirdly, when I first started to get it, I was like, it's an excuse for me to get my hair. I always used to be quite jealous, as his really would, of like blondes that'd be going and getting their highlights done every six weeks. And like, you know, sat in- She loves it. She absolutely loves going grey. Sat in the chair with the foils in. And I'd be like, oh, I she loves it. She absolutely loves going grey.

Sat in the chair with the foils in, and I thought, oh, I've got a lovely pamper every six weeks. I'm just so jealous. What can I do with this brown hair? I started to go grey and I thought, aha, now I have to get it done. You just put a positive spin on it. Well, that's obviously what I did in my subconscious mind. Now I'm actually really grey and I've looked, I've done quite a lot of research into it. Going grey young is ultimately a mineral and vitamin deficiency in a certain type of way and

Some people get it and some people don't and that's just it and then eventually it becomes genetic 21 is too young technically for it to really be genetic from what I've read and understood Wow for someone who's so like mimmarled up or what mimmarles it. Isn't it like a B vitamin? Yeah, and I am really deficient in B, but I take it as a supplement, but maybe it's not enough. I get like very thick, different textured hair. Oh, your black ones. Black.

That is your equivalent. And I said to the doctor, not to the doctor's hairdresser, I went to the doctor's, I was like, what is this? I was like, what is this? And I plucked them all out. They're literally like spiraling along. I'm like, why do I have like thick, coarse, dark hair? Like my roots way darker than my roots. And they were like, that's your gray. So I'm not sure which is better. You might be quite salt and pepper. Mine will be white. That's quite a vibe. So you're going to have black hair going through the blonde

and I've got white hair going through the brown. So I'm not going to- Oh, quite annoying. We can swap with that. My black hair going through this hair is not going to look cute. And curly, but it might give you some more texture. I know we need more texture. I've been really naming that boba and collagen. I do think my hair is getting like, honestly,

if we could zoom into the regrowth, you would genuinely gas. Like, when this is like... Is he so happy for you? He's like, I don't understand. He's like, I swear to God, this was before I met you, it wasn't due to me. I'm like, I think it's just so many years

of having my hair scraped back. Scraped back in that tight, tight, tight ponytail. Okay, right, Melissa, we've spoken about this before and you have said that I'm telepathic. But like, I am doing really, really odd things. Like, and I almost need Jamie to get in here because it's getting a bit weird. So basically, Jamie, as we all know,

blasts his sweet, sweet soul. His attendance need to be anxious. And when he's anxious, the way he gets himself out of anxiety is he'll be like, it's all right, mate. You can just go on medication if you feel anxious. You can go on an anti-anxiety pill. And he says it in his head, right? And I know that because he'll air it to me.

He'll be like, if I keep feeling like this, I'll just go on medication. He never does, but it's sort of like, you know people who can't sleep and they sleep when they've got a sleeping pill next to him. Anyway, no shame if you are, like he would go on it if he needed to. Anyway, one day he was feeling really anxious, we're on holiday and I just look at him and I go, hmm, certainly it's an anti-anxiety pill. And he goes, why did you just say that? And I went, don't know, it just popped into my head. Literally, I can't tell you guys, it popped. Was he like on Google on it?

And he went, I literally just sorted my head. What was that anti-anxiety pill that someone told me about the other week that really helped them? Such. And I was like, what? He was like, that's so weird. My hair's all stood up, look. Right, listen to this one. He goes to tell me, then this happens a week later. He's like, I think I'm going to go for dinner with Ollie Proudlock and Toby Wilkinson. And he went, we're going to do it on a Friday lunch. That's all right to miss a half a day of work. He never takes days. I was like, God, just go have fun. It'll be so nice sitting in the river cafe, just having a few cocktails. He

went, did I say I was at the river cafe? I was like, no, just said it. He was like, Sophie, show me the text. He goes, should we go to the river cafe? I think that's because Proud Lock and Emma go there all the time. I said that, I was like, I've been there with them. And then I told you about, my mom once picked up the phone to my auntie and like we had this huge corridor.

Like I'm talking like double this side. And she's at where that, you know house phones, you like can, you'd be like on the line. And I'm in the kitchen and she picks up the phone to my auntie and she's like, oh my God, Gail. And I go, auntie Gail's been robbed. And she went, how did you know? And I was like, don't know, just knew.

I know. That is really. She said it happened when I was like eight years old. So when you're a kid, apparently, that's when you're, like it really happens more. My mom and my sister always had telepathic things like that. It's really odd. I do think that everyone's like a bit connected.

The reason this conversation came out is because when I went for lunch with Bella, she was like, there's a really like beautiful girl who's in my building and you follow her. And I went about poetry and she owns a bikini brand called About Poetry. She was like, what? And I was like, I don't know why,

I just knew it would be her. And she was like, that's fucking weird. Or like poet, local poetry. You definitely are a bit telepathic. And I was like, dunno, just her face is what popped up into my head. Something came up on my TikTok. Apparently mermaids are fully real. So I was watching this on the commute to the office today. I've been saying this for so long. So there's a part 60 documentary series I found on TikTok. I need to find where it is on the television so I can watch it properly. But they've found a mermaid corpse body.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're called sirens. Sirens, I see them all the time on TikTok. I thought you meant in the sea. Guys, they sing to the fishermen and the fishermen go crazy and end up diving in and they eat them. I used to be so gone, how obsessed being a mermaid

when I was younger. Like it was like, you know, some people have obsessions and mine was a mermaid. I would like take my legs together and I had this like, I did, I did. Might you ask my mum? She was like, you were so weird. So I, yeah, like duct tape.

And then I used to, I had this flip, you know, like you get individual flippers, I managed to find one that was a single flipper that looked like a mermaid tail and I put it on and I would like just dream so like really, really, really, really wish I could be a mermaid and it was like a gun-ho obsession. I think it might have been H2O, Just Add Water. Cleo! The blonde, what, with the blonde girl with the bright blue eyes. No! Cleo!

What was Aquamarine? Do you remember that? Aquamarine, yeah, she had white hair, Jojo was in it. So let's go back to that, you dark take your leg and how did you walk around the house? I didn't. Or did you just wobble? I'd be sort of in the hot tub outside. Oh my god. Or like on the porch. I know, it's really odd. And like, would your mum have to like pick you up and carry you to the next area? I knew what's actually upsetting about this. I was like weirdly old as well.

I'm sure. She was 16. I was like, no, maybe I was like eight, seven or eight. That's quite a normal age. I didn't really- Maybe a bit older. I don't know. I need to ask my mum, but like it was quite unhinged. Then I went through a phase of being so obsessed with getting like a ginger wig to like wear with it and I'm- You want it to be Ariel?

I don't want it. That's so badly. You must it to be Ariel? I do. So badly. You must go as Ariel and fulfill your genes and that's Halloween. How did my mom not flag that as like not being quite right? I'm like, that's just not quite normal. No, that is normal.

I used to, while producers just going, that is normal. Don't worry. It is so normal, isn't it? I used to. Do you have anything weird like that? I do remember like, and I do cringe about it because I just feel like the friends I had like really didn't want to get involved. But you know, like things like high school musical, I would over and over like, and

I was so like perfectionist about it, make them reenact the scenes, like singing it. But I was way too old to be doing that. But I'm talking, I'd be like, right, okay. And I would do it for hours. The energy was not going. I was like, five, four, three, two, one. I could go and, was sorry. And I would want it to be perfect at the time. If I got off key or like I did that wrong accent, I'd be like, we're doing it again.

And did you get angry with your friends? Did they do it wrong? Yeah. They were just like looking back on it. I can see how they were so bored, but obviously I'd invited them to my house. So they have to do what I- You're like perfect. I'm gonna come and do them all into doing this thing with me. It's honestly like I basically just wanted to do musicals all the time which is awful because I'm so bad at singing. You've always I guess been born to be on the stage. I just loved performing.

I used to pretend I was on Blue Peter. I was such a precocious child. Mum has all these home videos and I'm like oh my god I was awful. No you must send them in. And this is the butterfly thing. Oh, here we go. And I was so theatrical. I wish I could try and find a video for you. So theatrical and precarious, it was terrible.

I'm like, god, I must have been so annoying. Oh my god, you have to send that in. We need to send it. That was the same era as the mermaid situation. Again, it's called escapism, I'm sure of it. We just love to escape. Really wild imagination. So anyway, going's called escapism, I'm sure of it. We just love to escape. It's some really wild imagination. So anyway, going back to the mermaid thing, I'm going to watch this whole documentary and come back to you, but if anyone's seen a siren or anything

of a mermaid, please let us know. I know, because I'm so concerned. What sea are they in? Because I don't want to go and get eaten by a mermaid. Well, I'm not going in any deep water. I'm a strictly just off of the beach kind of gal. What do you mean by deep water? If we're're in a boat, you're not gonna jump in. If we're in a boat and it's like nice and clear and I can not see the bottom, but like, you know, it's blue and like turquoise and it's not that deep. If it's any form of Navy,

if we're stretching out of the turquoise color wheel, I'm not going in it. I remember that in Croatia. Oh my God. Yeah, sorry. We used to like swim when we were doing Maiden Chelsea, we did an away season in Croatia. Like, wasn't I obsessed with swimming everywhere?

Yeah, you were like at the top. And Melissa was honestly drowning next to me, it's not funny. And I was like, are you okay? She was like, I can't swim. Did you like swim on my back? Guys, I can swim, I can swim. I would like grab onto the safety shield.

And she would just drown me. Where was Harriet this morning? That's what I wanted to know. He was laughing on the side. I was so scared that I convinced myself. To be fair, it was a bit of an eerie like lake we were swimming in. Guys, there was like all these horrible seaweed things touching you on the mast and you were like, you have to go shallow. I know, I was quite weird. Like I would like want to swim from one area and I'd be like, next. And I'd be like, oh, why?

You just walk. Why it's literally like so dark and like scary. This isn't nice water at all. Like, why do you want to go in that? You've got to like entertain yourself when you're not filming. You know, what are we going to do? We're stuck on this tiny island of Havar for eight weeks, I was so happy.

It was so long, there was nothing to eat. I ate tuna steak and tomatoes every single day for eight weeks, there was nothing to eat. We're so spoiled. This is also back in the day before Havar had fully come up properly. Now I went recently, obviously I went last summer, so different.

We were also 40 minute drive from Havar town. We were up in the sticks. And it was just kind of- So much cabin fever, so much cabin fever. We were all in like, so like, I started in Melissa's house with Melissa and Harry, and then I moved into the house with Jamie, Sam, and Mars. And Mars was in there.

Yeah. But each house was about half an hour drive away, do you remember? Yeah. They were far. Yeah. And then like Olivia Bentley's house was also really far. She was like two minutes from our house, Olivia Bentley. None of us really socialized. We all very much stood in our houses.

I once did a scene and I had to walk and I was in a bikini and my tampon string was hanging out, do you remember? No. Certain people, I guess you can imagine who, was so fucking mean to me. It was horrific. She pulled me to side in front of Jamie. I didn't know Jamie, like brand new to the show, and

was laughing at me, like, look down, like, your grossed hammer. And I was horrified. That is such an awful thing to do to somebody. It was horrific. She brought me over and told me in front of everyone. I don't remember that happening at all. I think I was too embarrassed to probably tell you. I was so mortified. Oh my god, that's horrible. I know. And I was like, oh my god. That's bullying. What is it about women? Like she would have been so excited to have done that. It's not cool, is it?

Not cool at all. So what did you do? Were you like, oh my god, and then what did you do? Did you ask them to reshoot the scene? They were like, we didn't see it. I watched the footage back. So it's like, why did you even have to embarrass me if I went wrong? I know, I'll never forget it.

It's actually, that is actually it. That is actually brutal. That is so horrible. How do you recover? That's the sort of thing that then stays with me that I would then be so worried about for the next 24 hours. I then also hated everyone around because I didn't know Jamie, but I hated him because he was in that circle. I was like, I hate you all. You've obviously all been bitching about the fact my poor Dan Bond string was hanging outside at my beginning. Oh no, it's awful. I was like, I need 23. It's so horrible.

There's nothing, I don't know what it is about like being in your period, even though there's a tampon in there and I could have checked that the string's not hanging out a million times enough in a minute. And I will still convince myself I'm walking to the loo in the restaurant, the tampon string is hanging out.

Or like you've got blood everywhere. Or I've got blood all down my leg and I'm wearing white jeans. I don't know what it is. And it's like this weird thing that girls have where they convince themselves. I think it's PTSD because it's obviously happened once or twice. Yes. Or you've seen someone, and I actually don't think I've ever seen anyone with it and it's never happened to me before, but I have convinced myself, oh my God, I've not

put a tampon in or like what a, or all my tampons leaked and I've got blood all over. Oh, it's horrible. Such a horrible worry. Those are pieces of thought thoughts are just awful. I really do get them by very occasionally, just the weirdest fucking intrusive thoughts in the entire world. Like the other day I was walking back with Jamie from like the park on like Monday, Bangkok day Monday,

and there was this lovely couple in front of us, they were so well dressed, classic, you know, loro piano guys. And I couldn't, I just had this thought about me. I really needed a wee and I was like rushing home. I just couldn't stop picturing me just standing right behind and pulling my pants out and doing a pee. And it kept flashing in my head.

I was like- That is so bizarre. It's so weird. I was like, I'm having the weirdest intrusive thoughts. And like, I almost felt like my body was gonna do it. But having about- Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, why are you fucking thinking that?

And the more I thought it, I just kept, I was visualizing it. Oh my. Like imagining them just turning around. Just being friendly to it on Portobello. Yeah, literally in the middle of Westphalm Grove and this gorgeous couple turning around and being like, all right.

Oh my God, that's horrible. I know, and I was like, what's wrong with my brain? That's because, I don't know. Because I desperately- I don't know. I would love to tell you, but that is so weird. It was so weird and I was so concerned. And then I freaked myself out because I'm like, why are you thinking that? You know what I will say?

Like, I think that's what people struggle with when they have like OCD. Cause they'll get a thought, it's obviously not as extreme. They'll get a thought in their head about, did I turn that light switch off? No. And then they have to do it over and over again. I think that's actually what happens to people when they like think something they have to follow it over and over again. I think that's actually what happens to people when they think something they have to follow through with it. Whenever I'm on water and there's boats docking up before we get on the boat in the summer, there's obviously a gap. I always just

convince myself whenever I watch my mom or me or anyone walking on, they're going to fall down the crack and they're going to get trapped between the boat and the thing and they're going to have to. That goes through my head all the time. What if I just push someone in? Oh, it's honestly so horrible. And I'm like, why am I thinking that? It's horrific. And then when Milo comes over, which is very rare, he's gonna come over a few times.

I'm like, what if he just falls down the stairs? And I like have these horrible, and like whatever he does, I like put my arms around him. Cause I'm like, he could just, donk, donk, donk. I don't know. And I like worry so much. And I'm like, God forbid that I don't know, and I like worry so much. I'm

like, God forbid that I'm a mother. That would be so panicky. I've had it when I'm holding baby I just think, what if I just go drop? I know, I know. It's so messed up. What is that about? I think everyone has that with babies and I remember I had to be sitting down the first time I ever held my leg because I was like, if I'm stood up, I won't be able to handle it. It's so weird. It's like when you were in assembly in school and you just wanted to be like, fuck you or something like that. It's like honestly bizarre. And then you were just like, couldn't stop thinking about it. Or like if you just be like in an exam, like

scream. I know like what if I just. Hi it's Morgan from Off the Shelf and I'm here to tell you how my Google Pixel 9 helps me read more. Google actually gifted me this phone, and now I use it nonstop. The other day I was trying to remember the name of this book someone recommended, and instead of spiraling into a 40 minute social media scroll, I just asked Gemini on my Pixel. What's that romantic book with a competition and a ghost helping her through the trials? The book you're likely thinking of is Phantasma by Kayleigh Smith.

Here's a breakdown of why it fits your description. It's like having that one friend who always knows what you're talking about. Learn more about the Google Pixel 9 at store.google.com. Okay guys, we're going to go into dilemmas now. I've got dilemma one. Okay. Hello girls, I have a dilemma I was hoping you could help me with. My boyfriend is honestly amazing.

We've been together for almost nine years and I love him so much. The thing is, recently we've been growing out his hair and I think it's because his widow peak is starting to recede. What's a widow's peak then? Like when you go, oh babe. As in like you're just receding on the sides.

Receding hairline, yeah. He told me he's growing a mullet similar to Jamie's shorter stardew on, which I was fine with at first, but now he's refusing to cut it at all. It's gotten really wild and I just want him to tidy it up a bit as it's starting to look quite scruffy and messy. I understand he might be feeling anxious or self-conscious

about his hairline. I tried to talk to him about it gently, but he either shuts me down or just makes a joke. And I don't want to make him feel bad. His family has picked on him and his brother's about it in, but he either shuts me down or just joke, makes a joke. And I don't want to make him feel bad. His family has picked on him and his brother's about it in the past, so I feel that's probably added to his worries. I still love him, knows and think he's gorgeous.

I just wish we could find a way to meet in the middle on the hair situation. Honey, you've just got to tell him and you've got to do these things. The less serious, I think, is always the better approach. I'd be like, I love you so much, but really, this hair we need to do something about. Some people, they just don't take on board feedback and it doesn't sound like he's going to. I think you've got to let someone else tell him because. It's really hard for me to say, cause that is one thing.

Like I could honestly say to Jamie, like, I really don't like what you're wearing. And like, honestly, Jamie, not one ounce of him is upset. So like, I can, I just have that relationship. I'm trying to think in past if I would say that to other, like I don't know if other boys are different. I could say it's Toby, he wouldn't be upset but he wouldn't listen to me. So I'm like, I like Toby's hair longer, messier.

I like him with his beard the way it is now, which is like not a beard, like a longer stubble. And I like his hair when it's a bit longer and it goes really blonde and he has these cute little curly flicks either side. And I think it's like the sweetest thing ever. And I also think it makes him look a bit more mature and manly. But he likes his hair sometimes a bit shorter, sometimes they even shaven, which I also like, but I don't love it as much as the long. And I'm like, come on, we're in summer, let's grow it along. He's like, no. And I'm like, ugh.

And wants to stubble like normally. He's always got that stubble. Yeah, no, he, yeah. But then sometimes he'll shave it where it's like really, really short. He does, he doesn't do a thing where he will consistently trim the stubble so it's the same length. He'll let it grow for two weeks and then shave it really short. And then I go, and I'm like, can we just keep the maintenance so it's the same consistently? Just got to trim it for him. He's just not good with that sort of thing. He does it and then he leaves hair everywhere. What's that about?

I know it's so annoying. Fucking everywhere. And then don't even get me started if he tries to trim the bush down there. I know. The fucking, oh my God, it goes everywhere. I'm like, oh sweet, lovely cleaners, I'm gonna have to tell you that.

You clean that up, I'm not dealing. And it's just like sort of remnants around the shower. This is all in like the toilet. He obviously does it over the low. Oh, that's quite good. It's not that bad actually. He does it sometimes in the bidet or in the shower and there's nothing more guys, there's nothing more unattractive. It's easier, it's so comfortable. They're watching in the shower, watching the way they do it, okay, it's sort of like feet turned out, second position,

clenched butt cheeks, bending over, have you ever seen them do it? It's the most unattractive thing. I'm like, there's one thing that could hit me out in my ears watching you do this. He's like, mm. I know, but you know what's so funny is that is so funny you said that because Jamie has told me that he's walked in on me in the shower shaving. Oh no, I've never let Toby know.

I've never known that he's done that. I would never allow that. Like I'm pulling my vagina to shreds to places he's never seen it go. Like I don't my vagina to shreds to places he's never seen it go. Like I don't want him to see my vagina in that state. Maybe a pull out to the max. I literally like pull it, like I couldn't look less attractive. And he says that I look like a hunchback old man, like with a walking stick, but instead of the walking stick, it's

my razor. And I'm like, when have you watched me do that? He's like, sometimes I've just like on holiday, he's like, I just, my bed can see in. I'm like, I'm so upset. Why don't you just shout and say, I can see you. Like, there is nothing worse. You can't breathe. I so know. I'm honestly so mortified at the thought of maybe ever seeing me do that. It's so revealing and intrusive. Why is it? You've sort of like, it's also, we've got a lot of like- Nooks and crannies. Nooks and crannies and areas to cover and then don't even get me started when you try and do like down the butt.

Oh my God. That's like, how do you even do that? One side's really easy and the other side's so tough. I agree. Because it's my wrong hand. And I'm like, oh my God. And I'm like, it's just so unattractive. It's like kind of wild.

You have to peel your bum cheek open and just blind shave. I know, you don't know what you're looking at and you're just like hoping for the best. You can barely see your vagina. You know one of my friends was like yeah I get a mirror and sit with my legs open and I'm like stop. I bet I know what friend that is. What a dedication you have to the cause. You know what back when I was younger I probably used to do that but now I'm like oh I've been

so lazy now that like it doesn't matter if I miss a few. I had my second session at Pulse Laser Clinic. Phenomenal. They like get the ice, they get it so cold, rub it over you, so it's like freezing, you don't feel a thing. What are we doing about the landing strip? Oh, to be fair, I do keep the landing strip a bit, but everything else- You just say, can you just keep that?

Yeah. They just keep like a tiny, like it's not even really a full strip. It's like a tiny cube. Do you basically give a tiny square a cube? It's a tiny, tiny square at the front because it's not very long. It's not great like, it's not even really a full strip. It's like a tiny cube. You basically give a tiny square a cube. It's a tiny, tiny square at the front because it's not very long. It's not great, but it's really good.

And then it all falls out. So I can literally with my hands just go, and they just come out in your hands. It's just amazing. What would I say about this dilemma? Look, sorry. I mean, look, to me, I would be like, I don't think there's anything wrong

with being like, I prefer your hat like this. Like, I love you, you're gorgeous, my preference is this. Yeah. I also think a lot of guys think that they need to compensate for the lack of hair at the front and they grow more and it just doesn't look good. It actually attracts more attention to it, I think. I agree, look, receding for a guy is like really tough.

They don't like it at all and it's like not a fun time. And like, I so understand that because we both know that they really don't like it. I get it. Toby hates it. I mean, Toby's barely receding. I'm like, I honestly, I think they've all got like dysmorphia about their hair receding. They say, well, I'm like, I could probably, I don't know if it's the same as me going gray, but I'm like, you know, just get a hair transplant if you're really that worried about it and you think that would make you feel better or just embrace it because it's going to happen to everybody.

I can understand it. Imagine being in the shower and your hair falling out. It does drastically change the way you look, but it does happen to everyone. I think the way I would do it is I'll just be quite upfront and be like, I think your hair looks so much better like this. My favorite hair on you is this. You don't have to be like, because you're receding or like, I don't like this hair. Just say my favorite hair is this. I also think maybe to give them a confidence boost, maybe comment and say certain people that are like in the public eye that are cool and like you think are attractive that have

a receding hairline vibe. So the guy from White Lotus, I thought was so hot. Really big receding hairline. Dude, law, huge receding hairline. He went receding quite young as well and like always pulled it off. I think it's sexy. I think there's something attractive about it. I really don't have a problem with the receding hairline at all. No, not me. Just embrace it. But I don't like the toupee. Oh, the flap of like fake.

I mean, just like if you've got receding hairline, embrace it. I'm not sure about the stuck-on toupé. I agree. That is not a vibe. The funny thing is they're doing it for themselves. It makes themselves feel so much better. It's such a thing. Toby will literally pick someone out and he'll be like, oh, epic hairline. I'm like, what?

But it's like us, that's the male gaze on other males, I guess. For us, we don't care about that at all, but they care. It's like, we do makeup for each other. They're like, good traps. And I'm like, trap is so unattractive to me. Like jewelry and stuff. I will do that for myself and that I know I guess other women would appreciate it in a certain way. Do you know what I mean? But a man's not going to look twice at what bracelet I've got on, or what earrings I'm wearing. It's really so true.

The male gaze and the female gaze is a whole other spectacle, isn't it? And just be so nice about it. Just be like, I get it that you're feeling insecure about it, but I really, really, really, really don't. A shit sandwich. So give him the news, but a compliment. Then be like, I don't love this hair.

Another compliment, shit sandwich. Yeah. And also be very touchy, this hair, another compliment, shit sandwich. Yeah. And also like be very touchy, feely and loving, kissy when you tell him like, don't, like just over reassure him, cause I think guys can be sensitive of, and obviously this is affecting him, which is sad, and you want to make him feel like

it's not anything to worry about. Yeah. Okay, dilemma two. I'm writing more reassurance than a dilemma, and I thought you might be able to help. A little background about me, my little girl was born at 27 weeks after my waters went at 21 weeks. So her water's broken and she had to wait six weeks to have the baby. She is the definition of a miracle. She's spent almost a year in hospital and now nearly at seven years old. It's been mentioned to us that she shows signs of dyslexia. It

came as a total shock to me and I feel so incredibly guilty for not noticing it sooner myself. No one around me seems to see it as a big deal and I know it's amazing she's already getting support even before a diagnosis but I want to help her in every way I can. I want to make sure she has everything she needs in order to reach her full potential. My biggest fear has always been that she might just survive life rather than thrive it. I want to give her every chance to be happy and succeed, whatever that looks like for her.

I wondered if Melissa could talk more about her dyslexia diagnosis to hear some of the positives that have come with it. I was diagnosed, yeah, really quite young. Maybe like seven or, no, maybe younger, six. I literally just couldn't read. Like I just couldn't read, couldn't write, couldn't spell. The weird thing for me is it never hugely, even my whole life, it's never bothered me. Like it's just never really been something. And I think because I was fortunate enough, my mum is like so observant, I guess, and like noticed super young. So I've

always had all this extra help from a young age and it's great that your little girl's getting extra support because that is really important. I think the only times for me that I found it difficult is when I had to read aloud in class. That sucked. And even now, whenever anyone comes on this podcast that's aside from Sophie and I and the normal people that are in the room, I go back to my old seven-year-old self, which is obviously quite traumatic, where I just freeze. Even when Toby's come on the podcast before, I don't know what happens to me.

I can still clearly read it, and I'm so much better than I used to be. I don't struggle too much now. I just seize up. So I think it's really important to make sure those moments don't happen, because that is still affecting me now, and I'm almost 30, which is horrific.

It's like PTSD from her. Yeah. And I just can't do it. And the words that it's almost like my dyslexia just comes back and forth first, everything jumbles up on the page and I get anxious. It's horrific. If I didn't have to do that, there would never be a problem now really. So I think making sure it's obviously like a really wide piece of advice, but making sure the school's right because ultimately it is like a learning disability. I've got a friend who's got a company called Talamo. It's like a dyslexic screener. So it's used to do a test to see if you can have dyslexia. But obviously there's like loads of tools on it, like different things, like if you're a parent with dyslexia and stuff.

So like maybe, yeah. To give you some confidence, like it has, I don't believe it's stopped me from doing anything in my life really. I mean, obviously there was some friends that were obviously much better at English and I didn't do any of those things. But I always remember my dad being like, it's a gift, like I've got it and whatever.

I've never, it's always been trained to me that I'm really lucky to have it, which is strange. And now I believe some companies request it to have dyslexia on their CVs because they want the diversity and you're just much smarter in different ways and you can see in 3D. I've always been told, you can see in 3D

and all these different things. And you can see it inside the box. Like your brain is just a little bit more creative, I guess, in certain ways. I really wouldn't be worried about this. I think dyslexia is unreal. She fucking loves it. I think it's great.

I don't know. It's just never bothered me, apart from that one thing that has scarred me slightly, and then I worry about it now, and weirdly I obviously have to read stuff out as a job, but so many more people are becoming so aware of it now. And it's really like- It's so common. Yeah like it's so common.

Yeah, it's so common and like there's all these great place things on Instagram that I follow. There's like it's called like the dyslexia something on Instagram and it's all these actors and it was successful like creative people that it's just a good. Yeah, it's just like really inspiring. I don't know. I really don't think there's anything to be I get get it because it's a struggle. Like it was a struggle for me for a long time, but it hasn't made me like ashamed of it or anything like that. I think maybe putting a really positive spin on it is important. A hundred percent. And it is so true. I've always been told that dyslexia makes you see like what you think outside the box. Like my granddad, he was so successful. Like my dad's always,

I've never met someone who had a brain like my mom's dad. And my he was so successful. My dad's always, I've never met someone who had a brain like my mom's dad. And my sister's dyslexic. She's honestly hard. She's so clever at this, I think. She's so dyslexic. I remember I used to go to this. This is so weird. My mom used to take me out of school and we would go to this strange building. I don't know if it still exists, if it does. And it was for my brain to develop properly and help my brain to develop. And I would literally go and play these weird, I thought they were games. That's what my mom used to tell me. And they were like, maybe like six to like eight, these strange games on this screen

to help my brain develop. They were obviously specifically for a dyslexic kid, but to help with brain development. It was so niche. I fucking love that. But my mom research, research, research, just understanding it is like, yeah, important. Yeah, I would just, I think what you're saying, like paint it as a blessing, it is a blessing.

Yeah, I'm excited for you. It's something to make you different and stand out and like your brain works in a cool, different way. How epic is that? Okay, I've got dilemma three, help. My mom thinks I've slept with my colleague who's literally 50 and I'm 22. I called him sexy in front of her, but I thought it was harmless, jokey comment, because again, he's 50.

The problem now is that my mom keeps questioning me about it and I cannot stop laughing and acting weird, which is making me look way more guilty. Oh, of course it is. The more I try to defend myself, the more I laugh and dig myself into a deeper hole. I also have a boyfriend who I love very much. I would never cheat on. And I thought my mom thought highly enough of me to do that. So now I'm just like, why is this even a thing?

The awkward part is that this colleague does help me with music. So now I feel like I can't work on music stuff, right? So this girl wants to be a music, she's trying to be a musician and he's happening around. So now I feel like I can't work on my music stuff without my mom thinking I'm sleeping with him. Ugh, it's honestly so crazy. What do I even do? Oh, and to make matters worse, I had a sex dream about him,

which makes me wake up and feeling so gross and uncomfortable, but I think it happened just because this whole thing has been on my mind for sure. And I tend to have super vivid dreams based on real life situations. Still, it's just added a whole new layer of weirdness to me. By the way, I don't think your mum thinks you're shagging her. I think you've now convinced yourself that and you've literally got intrusive thoughts about her. Your mum probably is a bit like, why are you hanging out privately with this 50 year old man?

She's probably sensing something a little bit like, it's us and it's just not really... I think it's good that you're waking up from the dreams that are feeling disgusted. That's a great sign. If you, awful if you wake up like, feeling a certain type of way, that's so annoying to shake that feeling off. Yeah, as you said, a dream can really spin you out.

Obviously this guy's a bit sexy, that's fine. He can't help being good looking. But if it's good for your career, like, sorry, you can't punish this guy for being good looking. Sexy 50 year old is not intimidating. If it was a sexy 35 year old, I'd be like, I feel a bit uncomfortable having a private lesson with you. But equally, if it does keep making you feel uncomfortable,

maybe there's something else and just I would stop it because it's not worth having anxiety over. I would just be like, this isn't making me feel good. Bye. Agreed. Okay guys, we love you so much. That's the end of the episode. Thank you so much for listening.

Bye guys. See you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Hi, it's Morgan from Off the Shelf, and I'm here to tell you how my Google Pixel 9 helps me read more. Google actually gifted me this phone, and now I use it nonstop.

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Actuaries are truly global. Wherever there's risk to manage, they use their math skills to solve real-world problems. The Society of Actuaries has the designation for any destination. That's it for this week Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, Tinees, we have got some news for you.

We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favourite app. How cool is that? Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.