Wednesdays - 87. Lando Norris Slid Into MY DMs?! - Sophie & Melissa Talk WAG Life

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

Heyyyy Tinies!This week, Melissa and Sophie are diving headfirst into the world of sport as they chat about whether they could ever be WAGs, football-obsessed boyfriends, and which sport is actually the sexiest?! They also get into stinky pits, whether gift-giving traditions are the secret to a long-lasting love, and arguments that have gone way too far - including Melissa accusing Toby of time travelling at a wedding...And for this week’s dilemmas, one Tiny is rebuilding her sexual confidence after a bad experience, and another is dealing with a cheating husband... who hooked up with her best friend. Should she leave him, or is forgiveness even possible?Enjoy the episode!Got a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail]--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Producer: @gurlinaheer_Editor: Kat MilsomExec: @jemimarathboneVideo editor: @lizziemccarthySocial: @laurabcoughlan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either, and we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts at anything. In fact, we just challenge all of shit, so... And we love giving you guys advice, but as we said... We love giving you guys advice.

Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Hey guys. Hey guys. Okay, this is a very good episode. We have one of the juiciest dilemmas ever. A tiny finds out that her husband slept with her best friend a week before the wedding. Very shocking. I also discuss how I'm dealing with my stinky pit situation at the moment with the sun. She's got stinky pit pits. So do you. We discuss whether we want to be a waggonon. And we also talk about our icks

with our boyfriends and husbands and icks in general. Yeah, it's a good episode. Enjoy. Hi, Wednesdays. Hi, Wednesdays. Hi, Tynies even. Sorry. Hi, Wednesdays.

Hi, Wednesdays. Hi, Tynies. Hey, Tynies. Hi, Tynies. Oh my. Hi, Wednesdays. Hi, Tynys. Hey, Tynys. Hi, Tynys. Oh my God, have you seen these things on TikTok when it's like the boys come back from like last night and the girl's like, so how's, how is- That is literally me every night. How is Christina?

How's her baby? Don't know. Don't ask. But the baby was only born two weeks ago. Oh yeah. I think they're fine. Don't know. Didn't ask. So baby was only born two weeks ago. Oh yeah, I think they're fine. I don't know, didn't ask. So what did you talk about? Just stuff that was going on at the pub at the time. And I'm like, what? I, Jamie had it with two of his friends on Friday night and they stayed out till like 3 30. And I was like, so come on, like what got sad? I was like, and like one of them's wives about

to get pregnant. I was like, like, are they Like, are they all ready to find out the name? He was like, no. What did you eat, pasta? So what did you talk about? Boxing? Yeah, I was just so, I was like, are you fucking joking? Till 3am? That is so boring. The ability to talk about nothing is quite impressive. It's sport related. It's really like- Fucking football chat. You know what? It's getting to a point now. This came from Toby's brother's mouth, so I'm not giving myself credit for this. The obsession with football,

when it takes over your entire personality, I feel is a bit much. And I'm just like, can we fucking just enjoy that for what it is? It's a sport. It's not like life changing. And it's not like doing the work. I don't, I'm like, can we fucking chill out? I so agree. The Arsenal, Arsenal and then you're in a

foul mood if they, if they don't. And I'm like, it's too much. I couldn't, I couldn't be with someone that was like that. Like Toby's our flatmate, God love it. He's a babe. But we would avoid the flat if Arsenal lost. Oh no, no, no. Toby was like, we need to go back to yours for two days. And I was like, fuck it now. No, the worst is when they're like, you're at a dinner and they've got it on their little phone and they're called and I'm like, I'm not in. I get this passion, but this is too much. You know what? I'm really blessed.

Jamie's really not. He's like into it in a healthy way. Like he'll go, he knows what's up. Like also quite, quite icky when they don't know what's up and they're like, oh, the rugby is on and you're like, oh babe, you're just so out of it, aren't you? Like you just haven't got a clue and they just don't know. That's also not that great of a vibe, but you don't want them to not, you know, when it fails and then they're like not going out now and you're like in the bin. That really shouldn't affect you that much. That is now a problem and it's becoming a

personality trait and it's just not right. It's really illegal. Imagine if we were like that about something. Women are really tolerant. I'm like, imagine if I was that passionate about like, I don't know, like a fucking, a bag selling out or like, I don't even like know how I can compare it. Taylor Swift take it to full, it's sold out and I'm now going to knock it out all week, all summer.

What can we compare it to? Like what is the equivalent of football to women? No, when Real Housewives finishes the season for me, I'm then in depression because of the next sitting. Like no, I'm like, oh God, what a shame. I don't think that we have, I don't think there physically is a comparison because we are normal and we're way more rational than men are. So much more rational.

So much more rational. But what is that? Why do they care so much? There has to be something psychologically in them that makes them care so much. Obviously there are women who also care that much. And again, I'm calling you out. You're also weird.

It's too much. It's too weird. There is a line of being passionate and into something and then just taking it way too far and just ruling your life. And that Premier League season, whatever you call it, it's just like, oh. No, the Euros got me out of London. Oh, fucking hell.

Do you remember when they had that and it was in London and like everyone went, we all went out and like half the people, we lost and half the people were like, no, they were so drunk. We were all raring for this big night out and everyone was like, no, going home now. I was like, loser. No, it just killed me so much. However, I will caveat that and say if David Beckham was young and still playing, I think I'd be just as passionate about it as the others. Me too. We don't have anyone like him.

We don't. That's like, who is it like, Koko Koko Jarrella? I don't know any of them. Obviously I know Saka. Saka. Saka's the only one we know. Saka and who else? Come on you're gagging to tell me. Oh I know the one that bleached his hair, bleached his hair, Phil Foden. Yeah Cucucurella. What is he meant to be? Sorry he's not David Beckham sexy. What I will say is when we were at the Brits we were sat next to Saka's girlfriend.

I had told you like straight as well as soon as as she had told me, I was like, Oh my God, that's Sackers girlfriend. I knew I interviewed her on the carpet, I knew that had all her notes. Oh you knew, shit, right. Okay, well I didn't, she was chatting away to me and then I was talking to her about how annoying it was when Arsenal would lose and she was like, honestly, try, try, try dating one. I could be a hag fucking anytime. I know you there's no way.

Yeah, I could. There is no way. Although the only thing is, is like you are married to him, like you never see your boyfriend. Yeah. And also like, I'm sorry. But loves you lifestyle. I also get scared about how many people are obsessed with them. I know that is really sad, but they seem very loyal on this program I'm watching. They know. Kukurela is really in love with his wife and he's a very good dad, I will say that.

I'm sure they're great people, not doubting that. I just don't think I could date a footballer. You know who's also really awful rugby players? Everyone's like, oh, rugby players are gentle, and I'm like, no, they're fucking not. I think generally sportsmen, I think I could definitely date an F1 driver or a tennis player.

What, those are your short arses? Don't care, I think it's so fucking high end. It's very different. It's not in a team when they're like- Do you remember when you first see that one? I've never fancied any of them. Leonoro Norris. Never fancied him.

He's lived in my day and night zones because we went to school together, but I never fancied him. Oh, thank God. Because I recently watched him and I was- Leonoro, his name's Lando Norris. I watched him and I was like to Jamie, Melissa was going to go on a date with him and I couldn't get over her. Guys, no. He's like four or five with him and I couldn't get over it. Guys, no. He's like four or five years younger. He's younger than my brother.

He's also four foot tall. That is true. They're all very small. Not that I was even thinking about that at the time. I was like, oh, he slid into my DMs, but I did go to the same school as him. And this is so long ago. This is so long ago. This is five years ago. Wait, so you would go for an F1 driver just because you prefer the sport or you think it's more high end?

Yes, and I actually enjoy it. And the whole vibe of it is just more my thing. So sorry, we're going for Lando Norris over David Beckham height-wise because of the F1 V-Class. I'm not going for anyone specific. It's just if I had to choose a sport, I would go for F1 in general.

Or tennis. Or tennis, yes. T for F1. Right. In general. Or tennis. Yes. Tennis very high end. The football thing and the rugby thing is not my thing. Oh my God. I mean, David Beckham. It really depends.

I don't think I would go for anyone for their sport. I would just, if they're hot and like fancy. 100%, but that's not what I was looking at it from a sports perspective. If I could choose like a career. Swimming's not it. Not all that chlorine. I'd have to get them in a sauna all the time. Detox. Just also not that sexy of a sport, is it really? I know we're being really judgmental on all these sports. I can't even do any sports. No, neither can I. Jesus. Oh my God. I read my school report and it was like, Melissa's doing really well on the netball D team. I

was like, that is horrifically embarrassing. they even put that on the scoreboard. I was like that, netball was my worst out of all. Pivot? Oh yes, center was always like the popular girl. Oh my God, you're so right, my friend Ali was always center. My friend Emma Marsh was always center. Like you really had to be like a popular girl to be center.

Or on the wing, quite popular as well for some reason. Goalie was like the loud joker. Winnie was goalie. Always someone really tall that was in defense. Always. Rounders was quite, they're like, I was fucking like deep field like the loser. I wasn't actually that much of a loser. In sports I really was. I used to dread it, that three sessions. You remember it was like the whole afternoon. Double PA, they'd be like, yeah, and I'd be like, I can't think of anything less. I'd almost been taking out of school and going doing ballet ballet. It's like, God, I'm so jealous. I hated every second

of it. And what was worse is like, I got put in the lower set. All my friends were in top set. They were so sporty. And then I was in the lower set, which was like dreadful because I wasn't with any of my friends. But then they gradually at one point moved me into that top set. And that was worse because then they were, all my friends were like, we don't want to pick you for our teammate. You know what I mean? But they felt they had to and I was just even more left out and it was like more like it was just awful. I prefer being like good at the lowest. Yeah, I was never good in the lowest either really. I was so funny that we are literally the same person growing up. That is so weird. I like couldn't bear it and I dread, I actually dread it.

I think it was on a Friday afternoon and I was like, oh God, here it comes. It's Thursday, it's tomorrow. Mine was Wednesday. It was Wednesday, you'd have half a day of school, the rest of the day for sport and then Saturday, half a day of school, the rest of the day for sport. And I'd be thinking, ah, get out. And it'd be matches on Saturday. Oh, that was even for me.

And you know what? The Saturday matches were the worst. And you know what? Saturday matches were the worst. When I was at prep school, because our head of house was also the head of netball, she was so sweet, Mrs. Rawlings, she'd feel sorry for me. So I would go with all my other friends

that were in the A-Team on the away buses, and I would just sit on the sidelines and watch them, and I was allowed to go, because I was never in any of the matches. Oh my god, that's so sweet. How sweet, also, I'm like so loserish at me, but I was so ready to support my mates. Oh So I was like, so sweet. How sweet, also I'm like so loserish at me, but I was so ready to support my mates. That's so sweet.

That's so sweet. Did you feel like, you really did feel like you were put in your box, because everyone kind of forgets you for those days, because you're like, I'm just not good. They'd have so much banter on all these like trips away, that they'd have to like stay overnight or whatever. And I'd be like, aw.

Okay, right, no, so I just want to tell you this really wholesome, gorgeous thing, and this is a great tip for any boys listening, or girls, if you're in a relationship and you just want to tell you this really wholesome, gorgeous thing, and this is a great tip for any boys listening or girls if you're in a relationship and you just want to give something special. It was actually Toby's girlfriend was telling us this story of this, one of their friends and throughout their whole relationship, I think they've just had their 40th anniversary, he has always brought her home a Friday present. So it can be a bag of skittles, but one time it was a Bentley. I know that's very extra.

But like it was without fail, every Friday, he would just bring something home as a gift. And like, she just knew every Friday she'd be getting a gift of some sort. Wait, is this one of Toby's mom's friend? Toby's godfather's friend, yeah. That's the sweetest thing he's ever done. He's been doing it for 40 years.

And I was like, that is such a lovely, that would bring so much joy to a girl. Especially if that's their love language. Just every Friday, I know I'm going to get a treat, but it can be anything. And you can't ask for anything. It's just purely what he feels like doing at the time. But he would never forget to bring anything home. Sweet. I feel like I want to marry this man myself. It's such a gorgeous, gorgeous little tradition. You've got to have traditions in life. You really do have to figure out what some family traditions or what couple traditions and just keep them in. I think that's so important and cute.

Do you have one? No. Come on, you used to have a whole Post-it note thing. That's a lovely tradition. Oh yeah, we leave Post-it notes. Is that a tradition? Well, I think it's like a nice touch. What do we do? Hmm. No, we need posts at no, is that a tradition? Well, I think it's like a nice touch. What do we do?

Hmm, no, we need to start. Do you? I don't really think so. We must start. Really, it should be something the boys are doing to us. Yes, I think it's obviously fair to say that both of you should maybe do something for each other, but it's nicer to receive.

It's nicer, do you know what? For the first time ever, I got really not slutty, but really beautiful underwear for Valentine's Day this year. And I was like, that's really nice. It was very- Makes you feel really great by yourself. I said, who has given you that? I thought you had.

He was like, your sister helped me. Because I was like, that's not something a boy would choose. It wasn't like- Wait, he got a few? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. He would never do that. He'd never. I was like, what the he got a few? Yeah. Wow. I know. He would never do that. He'd never, I was like, what the hell?

That's so lovely. And it was like, pretty, it was like very, what all girl would pick out and be like so beautiful. I wouldn't necessarily think a boy would pick out. So I was like, somebody shows that. He's gone into the shop and asked for the shop assistant's help. No, my sister, he asked my sister.

I know, quite rude to say to. A little bit weird as well actually. I also thought that. Like what's sexy. Like what underwear would save you life? I actually think it's fine. A little bit weird as well actually. I also thought that. Like what sexy. Like what underwear would Sophie like? I actually think it's fine, but there's obviously a fine line like you're not going. That's why she chose like very, very beautiful like girly. What color was it?

Tell me about what it was like. One's pale blue, like very lacy with like embroidered flowers. Sort of a bodice situation. No, like bra and matching pants, but like, you know, under bar lace, not like a padded situation. And then the other one is pink with, again, lace, just really beautiful silks throughout some red polka dots. So nice. And I was like, this should be a tradition. Oh my God, that is a lovely tradition. My dad used to buy my mom a dressing gown and

a pair of underwear every year for her birthday, mainly because it was right down the road and it was convenient and he'd always forget until the day before. I mean, look, I'm taking what I can get. Yeah. What would Toby do romantic wise for you or like is there something you particularly want him to do? I have asked him fun way before, I've never got it. I know me too, there's been six years in the making.

Never got it. You're like, what do you want? I'll be like, maybe some nice underwear would be lovely. Okay. Never, never happened. I know. I think I've just accepted and it doesn't bother me that he's not very good at that sort of thing. Is he not?

It just doesn't bother me. Wait, I don't mean that. I don't mean Toby not incredibly romantic. I pitch him being sssss. I pitch him being- Neither of us are really. No, you are. No. You're a real giver in that area. No, I'm good at cooking and that makes me feel fucking amazing when I give someone a meal and I feel like I'm healing them. But I'm not, I'm not like, no. I wouldn't say I am. It's not my fault. I actually really struggle with that side of things, but I have to be because Jamie, it really means so like, he likes that. But can

I just say Jamie is like, you've heard it with like the bone broth, like, or the milk, sorry, the milk. Guys, my brain is not working. Yeah, he won't listen. I go to him. He's in the supermarket and I'm like, do you need anything? I'm like, give him a list. And I say, bearing in mind, I will specifically be like cucumber and bone broth because I know I can't give him like chicken.

Oh, he won't remember. So I'll be like, what do I really need? And then I can go get it. How annoying. And I'm like, bone broth, chicken, chicken, bone broth, not beef, chicken. You got that? Repeat it to me. Come home. He gets out bone broth. And I go, which one did you get? And he goes, bone, he reads it and he goes, bone broth. And I went, but the packet's red. And he goes, beef bone broth. Oh, his heart. And I'm like oh my god

it's actually too sweet. It's so annoying. I'm like I can't make a chicken dish with the beef bone broth. Off I go out myself. I have to do everything myself then. You know what I don't want to make a generalisation but I do just think that's kind of most blokes. Like, just sort of, yeah. Or they put the effort in, which is sweet. They just don't quite get it over the line. I know, they really don't, do they? Yeah, Toby will load the dishwasher up,

but then not actually put it on. So like the intentions there, but then he just doesn't follow through. Down I come in the morning ready to unload the dishwasher. Fucking full, I can't get my mug out. Can't get my milk frother out. And I'm like, mm-hmm, so fucking. So what do you do in that moment?

Are you like Toby? Or do you just breathe in? Yeah, I'm like, I'm gonna put the fucking dishwasher on. I'm like, oh, sorry. I know. And then you forget that. Because then he's just as annoyed at himself. Oh God, they mean well don't they?

They really do. And this is the problem when you've got someone that's like sweet and funny and charming. They like make you giggle out of it. And I'm like, no, I'm really trying to be pissed off with you. You're so sweet, Carl. Yeah. Like they act scared and then he'll be like, trying to smile to be like, you out of it. Yeah. And then I'm like, well, Carl, but sometimes I'm like, just give me five more minutes for you know what I mean? Like, don't snap me out of it already. Like, give me, let me revel in it, because actually sometimes you deserve.

Sometimes it feels great. I know sometimes it feels great. Which is normal. It really does. It's normal. I know we had this, like, relationship therapist on newlyweds and she was like, I can't remember what she said,

but she was like, people get a real dopamine rush out of an argument. And Jamie was like, that's so funny. Because when things are too good for too long, I'm like, just can't wait to get my teeth stuck into an argument. I get it. And then halfway through, if I do one word too wrong, it's gone too wrong. And I'm like, too far. And then I'm like, oh, why did I do that? Because then I'm like, oh no, this is an actual argument now. And actually I just wanted to like scream at you.

But you've committed to it. And then when they- I know, and I'm like regret, regret, regret. And then you've got to pretend like there was some deep reason that they actually made you annoyed. And you're like, you know what, sometimes this happens and it just really upsets me. And actually you're like, I really don't care.

I know, and then you're like, you have to commit to it for like a long time. They're like- What is wrong with us? Reverse psychology, we're really fucked't care. I know. And then you're like, you have to commit to it for like a long time. What's wrong with us? Reverse psychology. We're really fucked up sometimes, aren't we? It's not. What I will say is when I'm drunk, it gets a lot worse. Oh my God, you are actually so funny. What was the time? No, no, no. I need to tell you the time. Chrissy's wedding, when you were arguing with Toby because you thought he had time

traveled, can I just explain to the listeners what happened? So Melissa had had like a couple of, you know, she was a bit pissed. I was hammered. It was your wedding. I was having time in my life. She said to Toby, go get me a water. And he was near her or something along these lines. And then he was gone at the bar. And then he came back and you were like, you time traveled. And I was like trying to keep a straight face, but you were. Right, an example of trying to be annoyed at something and finding something to be annoyed at.

You were like, no, no, no, but you've actually time traveled. Like, what are you doing? And you were so pissed off. And I saw his face turn, cause I think he was just like, why are you starting an argument? And I was like, Melissa, retract, retract. This is going nowhere. I think I pulled it back instantly and was like, sorry, it's fine.

Whatever. Yeah, you did. I was like, obviously you realized I was being really unreasonable by accusing him for time traveling. Oh, Jesus. That's what I really have to talk to you about other than the fact that it's getting hot at the moment and I am having... She stinks, guys. I fucking stink. Like it's really hard to keep the smell at bay. And I think it's because I'm using a natural deodorant at the moment. Which one are you using? So I was using Fussy, which was so good. It's run out. And now I'm using another one. I can't remember what it's called. Like Green People or Start of the Earth or something. And they're obviously made for people that don't smell like Toby will go on a run and absolutely be loaded with sweat.

And they, there will be zero smell. And I'm like, I don't fucking get it. I will shower and half an hour later to an hour, it fucking stinks. And I'm like, there's something wrong with me. And even my mum's like, no, that's not normal. Obviously not like, not like ponging off me, but like if she smiles under my armpit, she'll be like, I don't get that. She said, I've never smelt beer in my life.

And I'm like, thanks. Thanks, Nicola. That is fucking hilarious. You know what I think it might be because you walk a lot, don't you? And also, I also smile from wearing those non- Really? Though, unless you're wearing like a Mitcham's man, like nothing's helping you. Why do boys not smell a B.O.? What is that about? I imagine Jamie wears deodorant, but I've never really seen him spray it and I've never seen it in his cupboard, I would say.

He does shower a lot. Do the hairs like soak up the smell? No, this is the problem. I will shower in half an hour and later I smell. How bad is the smell? Cause I've never smelled it. Have you not smelled it? I've made you smell my armpit before.

I know, but I really, I think I like hold my nose a bit cause it's really quite jarring to get into someone's armpit. And I'm like, Melissa, I love you so much. I'm so much, but like, I don't want to get in there. It's like I'm weirdly proud of it. I like make... She is. She's like, smell my armpit. It's so weird.

When I did smell it, it didn't smell. That's what I remember. I was like, I don't smell anything. It didn't smell like deodorant, but it didn't smell like BO. Fine. It smelled a bit of like sweat, but not BO. BO is like, poof. BO is when, oh. BO is when apparently when it's dried. I know, and that smell is brutal. And it releases a bacterial smell. That's just awful.

Yeah, no, you've never smelled BO because I would honestly be like, you need to go home. I remember people at school, like blast them because people are sweaty right at school. And by the end of the day, you'd be like. There's nothing. What is it also about the smell of, it's like a running sweat, like a man's run sweat. Doesn't smell like BO. It's grassy. It's grassy. Yeah, I know.

And like, you know when you walk outside and it's been raining but it hasn't rained in like two weeks and it kind of smells a little bit like capitis. Like damp grass. I don't know what it is. It's like a different smell. It's like a pheromone maybe that comes off them when they're running. Fascinating. It's like rain. It smells of like smelly rain. That's what I mean. Don't love the running smell. I don't love the running smell, but I don't mind like a boy's sweaty smell, but if it's

not sweat, you know, like when they're not- It's waterproofing. Not day old skin is the wrong word for it, but like you know when the pheromones have come out slightly and you can smell their home smell, that's quite nice. The skin. Yeah. And it's definitely got a smell. I used to always smell my skin when I was younger and I could really smell my own skin. And I love the smell. Like, you know, when you're tanning and you smell your skin, you're like, that is the most... It's like a little bit burnt. I know.

It's stunning smell. It's like a skin smell. Right. Let's get into the dilemmas. Dilemma 1. I would massively appreciate any advice on this. This is a heavy one, but I think it's something so many people might relate to. Sexual confidence after horrible sexual experiences. I'm 28 and honestly, I feel completely disconnected from my sexual confidence and it's starting to affect my confidence in general. After some trauma, I've come to view sex through a lens of fear instead of fun and I don't know how to get back to a place where it feels playful, cheeky or empowering. I want to feel sexy like everyone else seems to but that version of sex just feels so far removed from my own experience now. The only advice I ever hear is find a safe

partner. I have and he's amazing, yay, but no one ever tells you how to actually reclaim that flirty frisky part of yourself once it's been dulled. Any tips would mean the world. I'm so sorry that you experienced that. I'm lost for words. Gosh, yeah. This is hard. Think like, talk to your friends, like your friends are there to help and support you and, um, like talk to him outside of the sexual, like not when you're having sex and like,

you know, like randomly like sit down and discuss and like be vulnerable with him and open with him. And I think that will like, hopefully like lessen the bar and a bit. Yeah. Yeah. I think also like, yeah, speaking to friends, like speaking to anyone about things like this, it's so good you've written in because there are so many girls and support groups and information online and there's so many support groups for things like this. And I think just like you've got support and you'll have a community and sharing that with other people and knowing that you're not the only person who feels like that will help build up your confidence because you aren't and that's just the sad part of life.

And just knowing that you will get it back when the time's right for you, and just take the pressure off of it. 100%. Being really open, as Sophie said, with your partner, and just talking about it, and gradually, hopefully you're then gonna get to a point where you're like, oh, that was a part of my life in the,

but that's not like defining my sex life now essentially because I'm not self-conscious and I don't feel, it's confidence in that, I guess, is something that takes time. And I also think that you can enjoy sex without having like penetrative or whatever you call it, sex. Like, when you enjoy sex, like cuddling, I don't know.

I know what you mean. Cuddling is intimate. Yeah, you can be intimate without having sex. Sorry, that's what I meant to say. And then build up to that sort of thing. Yeah, like cuddle, kiss, hold hands. All of those things are just as big a connection as having sex, so don't put any pressure on yourself. 100%. And we hope you're okay, and you're so brave for writing in,

and we send you so much love. So much love, and definitely I would recommend, as Sophie said, like support groups and stuff. I wonder if there's like really nice like, dilemma too. Hi girls, I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and things are absolute bliss. We're very much in love.

When we first got together, I suggested a few weeks, I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and things are absolute bliss. We're very much in love. When we first got together, I suggested a few weeks, a few tweaks to his wardrobe and I must say he looks rather dashing now. Though maybe I'm just biased. However, he's recently got a new phone and has insisted on using a leather wallet flip phone case. It's hideous and gives serious granddad energy.

He says it's practical. Oh my God, I love him. I love him already, but I can't look past it. I thought of him whipping out to take cute pics and he honestly makes me want to vom. I've tried to make some subtle suggestions and he's just not taking the hint. Any advice is very welcome.

Oh my God, no, sweet. I can't bear him with his flip case. Also, I pitch him being like, flip. I love him. It's practical. Just let him be. Let him with his flip case. Also, I pitch him being like, flip. I love him. It's practical. Just let him be. Let him have the wallet. Let him have the wallet.

You can't take it the way. No, genuinely my heart is like hurting. She's crying. No, I feel like let him have the wallet. There's nothing wrong with that. Also, like, doesn't Loser Boys have one? You shove a couple cards in there, nothing wrong with that.

I think it's right. I had one for ages. Do you remember? Do you remember when I had one? Sophie's getting offended because you have that. I had one for ages. Do you remember? Do you remember when I had one? Sophie's getting offended because you have one. I had a really ugly white one because my mom had one and I was like, this is back in M.I.C. days because I used to drop my phone the whole time.

I used to keep all my cards in it. Very practical. Very practical. I kept my ID in it. It was great. Stuffed a couple of quid down there now and again. All you need for a night out. All they need to do is my mobile.

Cash to get into the club and there's my ID. Perfect. And then a card to get me home in the taxi. Phone to call people. Bosh. I think it's really great. I think I might get one after this. Me too. I really don't think there's anything wrong with that and I feel very sorry for him. But I think if you like, I just think you've got to let the boy be. I think this is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. And also if you're finding it icky, but you love him, so don't, great. Cause then other girls will find it icky.

Exactly. If you're worried about like, cause he's looking so dashing in his new cool clothes, you've got to have something to like make him a bit icky so that all the boys and girls aren't grabbing at him. Okay. I think you want to leave it and embrace it and think it's sweet. And if you find it so icky, that's a bit of it. Like maybe you don't fancy him. There's something else underlying going on. If it's all that, yeah, I'm like, yeah. You should just think it's really cute. A hundred percent. Does Jamie have anything that's, I'm a bit like, you need to get rid of that. Sometimes Jamie, I'm not speaking for you, used to wear like questionable outfits, but you used to find that so charming and sweet.

So I'm like, really that's how- And he still does wear them. No, I thought you looked great today. Recently he's actually looked really good. Yeah, but I loved his little questionable outfits. Same, it's a part of the charm. I think you really need to like your boyfriend a lot, I think.

I can't think, did you ever date anyone and they had something that really icked you out? I mean, ultimately, if I look back on any of my exes, everything they did, it mapped. Yeah, exactly. But that's because I don't love them anymore and I'm not attracted to them anymore. So that's where I feel like you're getting at the point

where maybe there's an underlying issue. I remember once I went out with this guy and his clothes stank of death. Like he clearly left them in the- And the washing machine too long. And they damped. And I was like That's really hard to get bars a bad smell

I was like, why don't you just put them in the tumble dryer or just hang them out? I'd eat it like you're it's like that's uni smell. I ever feel that everyone at uni had it and I'm like, oh Like mold in the washing machine. I mean he just obviously left them in there for days You know what? I mean, which is like classic boy Nothing wrong with it. Really? I could have just said like, do you want me to help you teach you how to use one? I was like, you've got to break up with him absolutely tomorrow. Have you ever dated anyone with horrific breath? No, and I could have.

Or you've had to back away? You know what? And maybe this is really mean, but I'm just going to say it. Someone's got really bad breath and you know they've got a partner. I'm thinking, how are they dealing with that? Because like, if like my, like, say you've got like morning breath, right? No one's got good breath in the morning. Like, I'm so conscious. And so with Toby, Toby's like, I've got morning breath, don't talk to me. And I'm like the same. I don't get how your partner wouldn't actually say like, oh, pooey. No, no, no. I have this conversation on the regular with Jamie. Fasting in the morning. Like, you know how I was saying, we don't cuddle after sex very much in the morning.

It's like, that's our time. I'm like this and he will honestly want to fully kiss my lips over and over. And I am literally like, I feel so uncomfortable. I don't care about your please. My breath is horrific right now. And he's like, please, what if I died of falling down the stairs? I'm like, go brush your teeth. And then again, he's like, what if I died of falling down? Why don't you care? Fascinating behavior. I really, some boys-

He would care if you had pongy breath all day though, that's the thing. I really, I don't know loads of people. I have like smile, he wouldn't been like, and then see them go and kiss their partner. And I'm like, why aren't you giving them a mint? I saw this awful thing on TikTok about comments and how to keep your man interested. And I think these things are so fucking toxic. Mind you, I feel like we give out the same advice. And it was like, to keep your man interested,

never ask for a compliment. I was thinking, geez, I do it all the time. Do you like this? I'll put a nice dress on and be like, oh, so do you like this dress then? God, I never do. I'm like, shut up. I'm keeping my man interesting.

You fucking are. Do you do that? But that's because Toby's got really good fashion sense and really good taste, so I want his opinion. She's like, Jake does it. I don't really. But you know, he does. I feel like Toby will actually know

whether something looks good or not. But then it's very female gaze, male gaze situation. This is where the, there's a problem with this. You know what that is, is like, I just genuinely am like, I know that he won't like most things. Like he'll tell me if he likes something and it will be like really random. Like I'll tell you something he fucking loves.

It's a Hunza G all in one body, one piece. And I'm like, that is so unsexy. Like, why do you not think that I look nice in my skimpy thong bikini? You'll be like, whoa, thong, he doesn't like that. He's like, it's a bit much, isn't it? Toby loves that. He's like, don't, come on, we need to be a bit more classic. Got it.

Not me in the full cover-up from hand to toe. She's in a wetsuit, hunt, you look fucking amazing. But you know, like another thing is like, at Chrissy's wedding, I looked quite frumpy, like bridesmaid dress I wore. It was really beautiful. It was not frumpy whatsoever. It was so feminine and beautiful. It was beautiful. But it was like, he really actually does like very like classic, elegant stuff actually, because he was like, this is the most amazing dress I've ever seen in my life. I was like, what this yellow drop waist dress.

Wait, wasn't that the one that you were wearing too? Oh, well, there was two, I guess. Not the, oh, he loved the purple one too. My dad loved your yellow one that you wore to the Eden Rock wedding. My dad goes, have you seen Sophie in this dress? And I've never heard. Also, my dad is really not like, doesn't my mum will wear a dress five times and then think it's new. Like he's so unobservant with stuff like that. He was like, this amazing ball gown thing. It was sort of yellow and like this long. And I was like, I was really cool. No, no, I can't. I actually have a tear in my eye, Edwin. That's really, but then I'm like, some people probably not like even notice it. That's really,

really quite- He was so short. He thought it was amazing. I was like, that's the sweetest thing you've ever had. Your mom obviously showed him. I was like, look at Safie. No, my dad like every five months will go on Instagram and he only follows about five people, which is probably like Toby, my sister, me, and then you probably. I feel really privileged. I feel really privileged. No, it is very sweet and they are very sweet. I don't know what our point was about that conversation. Just like some people like things and some people don't. It's a difference in opinion. And like, you've got to leave your poor boyfriend alone

because he loves the wallet. I'm going to call Jamie immediately after this and be like, those trousers are so cool. And I'm so sorry. Yeah. Because they are cool. Right. OK, moving on to dilemma three.

Yeah. Hey, girls, long time listener here. And I'm gutted to be writing in. Oh, God. I don't know why I'm smiling. It's nervous like smiles. I got married at 26 to my first love and we've been together 10 years, did four years of long distance and even had an open relationship to survive it. It actually worked and we stayed open for a while even after reuniting. As we were still figuring things out, eventually we grew together, closed the relationship

and got married. Part of getting married was to show people and ourselves that this is what was the real deal. We've also been so in love, smart and solid. Oh my God. But a few months ago, I found out my husband slept with my best friend before the wedding. Oh, fucking hell. We've always had a rule, no friends. They were drunk and apparently don't remember it, which somehow makes it worse. Like I can't even fully be angry, but I could feel completely betrayed. I only found out because someone saw them. I felt good. Why were you doing this?

Weirdly, me and that friend fell out not long after the wedding before I knew any of this. So I almost feel like my gut already knew. Now I'm stuck. I love him, but I feel like this has tainted everything. Our marriage has helped people view us even how I view myself. Do I move on? How do I begin? Only one person knows. Should I tell others or keep quiet? Right, do not tell others until you know exactly what you want to do and even then you don't have to tell others like it's a private situation. I couldn't get over that. I couldn't get over that. They had an over relationship.

Because you're dipping into that gray area and then to suddenly go back. Basically you're like, we had an over relationship but the rule was no friends. But that is kind of an easy rule to sway. It's because it's not quite cheating. It's like, oh, I'm breaking a rule. It's not cheating, but liking an ex's photo. I don't know. You know what I mean? It's a really gray area. It's a very gray area.

I think, look, if you love him and it was in the past, and you're not friends with that friend, and you were in an open relationship, I think ultimately you want to get over it and you want to forgive him. So I think that's what you should do. You shouldn't break up with him just because you were in an open relationship, I think ultimately you want to get over it and you want to forgive him. So I think that's what you should do. You shouldn't break up with him just because you're like, this is what everyone's. Never be like, oh my God, everyone's, no one gives a fuck. This week's gossip, you'll be next week's old gossip. Well, hopefully no one knows, which is fantastic news. So you don't have to deal with that.

And also like if they're your true friends, they're not going to judge you. Look, I think that you have to like take the time and just work out. Also, you might try and forgive him and just like literally like nothing, you can't like, you hate him. You might not get over it, yeah. And that's also okay. I don't think there's like a linear approach to this.

I think you've just got to see what feels right for you. It sucks, I'm so sorry. I'm really glad you're not friends with that friend anymore because she's more in the wrong because you and him were in an open relationship. Why is she fucking sleeping with him? Imagine not looking at that scenario in your head. You sleeping with Toby, I'll switch it

just before we get married. Like, fuck me. What would you actually do? Would you go for me? Would you rip my hair out? Because I would rip yours out. Yeah, I would break up with both of you. It would be absolutely horrific. I mean, it sucks. It sucks for you because I would rip yours out. Yeah, I would break up with both of you. It would be absolutely horrific.

And it sucks, it sucks for you, because if you break up with him, you lose the really two important pillars in your life, which is your best friend and your husband. I think that also the really hard thing to do is you've overcome all these problems in your relationship, long distance, open relationship, then coming together, which is obviously a

beautiful thing. And you've got married and you've said vows and like, you know, he stood opposite you and like been lying. That's really difficult. There's like so many layers to this. I just think ultimately, like, we can't tell you what to do. I think you, you, you'll know in your gut. I don't think that the right decision is to like just mindlessly blab to everyone because like that's just airing your daddy laundry. I just think you should confide in some people because you can't carry this alone. And I think you obviously really love him. It's so hard. I honestly, I don't even know what to say because I want

to be like, I really want to be like, don't be with him, but you, the open relationship to a guy, it's so gray. Like he's just going to be like, she's a girl. I'm allowed to sleep with other girls. Like, sorry, I didn't, like I obviously crossed the line. Mind you, I feel like at the time when you, when he cheated, you weren't in an open relationship. They closed the relationship and then shortly before the wedding, he cheated. Dump that motherfucker. I did not realize that. I thought they were open relationship and he was like, oh, broken the rules because he slept with the best friend and they weren't allowed friends.

I think it's sort of like a double whammy situation. No, no, no. I think that's absolutely, utterly unforgivable. Well, naturally, but the only reason is I'm reflecting back on the fact that obviously soon, like in close proximity, you had the open relationship. So it's like difficult to suddenly overnight, maybe him change the way he is with you. I don't know. Monogamy's on. He's scared that he's going to be like this forever. I would never ever trust him again. Ever. Ever. I think like I just wouldn't. Sorry. And also just before your wedding, you joking. No. So you guys, I mean, she was a bridesmaid, stood up there walking you down the aisle. She's a dread. Having shagged your husband.

No, it's really, the whole thing is so awful. I'm so sorry. But it just says like, I don't even know. I don't know what to say because I feel like it's hard because it's obviously in the past and you're so happy now and I always find that sort of shit really hard. Look, ultimately if you want to forgive him, like I don't judge you at all. I so understand it and I hope that it does work out, but I personally don't think I could forgive cheating on me the week before my wedding with my best friend. No. Just dump the guy.

I also agree. Leave him. Get a divorce. Get the fuck out of there. Start fresh. And if you really, really love him and you feel like you want to give it another chance, do, but don't give yourself six months. Thank God this person saw them. Thank God. Why did that person not save them? I also hope they're not like having an affair. You deserve a lot better than this.

Like you deserve someone that's like obviously fully committed to you. And you don't need to have these like, it's really hard when you've got a lot of history with someone because you send sort of fight for the history rather than fighting for what you've got. And what you've got doesn't sound good. It sounds really not good.

I don't, I feel so mean saying that, but like, that is not okay. I just would, I like hate him for you. So I don't know how you would ever go with that hate. Do you know what I mean? Like I would just, I visit, there's just no way I could forget. Any friend you have in the future, you're going to be a little bit paranoid about. That's what I would be. Exactly. Like there's one thing like cheating on somebody, but like with the best friend, like, no, it's unforgivable. So bad. It's, cause then your mind's like, well, you obviously fancied her the whole time.

Oh, it's terrible. It's awful. It's awful. I really don't know. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but let me tell you, karma is a real thing, and you will find someone who treats you amazingly and who isn't an asshole and you will have friends I'm sure who love and adore you and who would never do something like that. Can't agree more. Okay guys, that's the end of the episode,

but please, please DM us because the episode and the podcast wouldn't be anything without your dilemmas, so please keep writing in the word of the wackier, all of them, we wanna hear it. DM them to Wednesdays podcast and email us at wednesdays at jampopproductions.co.uk and we will read them out. We can't wait to hear from you guys. Love you so much.

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