Wednesdays - 87: The Big Xmas Reunion ft. Jamie Laing & Toby Watkins | PART 2

Episode Date: December 14, 2022

It’s our Christmas special and we’ve got boys in the building! Toby Watkins is back to explain himself, the secret Santa goes wrong and we find out some of Jamie Laing’s weirdest Christmas traditions. We are drinking Jamshed mulled wine!Sophie: 5Melissa: 5 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Get customized coverage today starting at $19 per month at zensurance.com. Be protected. Be Zen. As you all know, we love a good old TV series to snuggle up to or hunker down to. Hunker down. Guys, Sky has a brand new comedy series out called Rosie Malloy Gives Up Everything. It's all about a woman called Rosie in her 30s who tries to give up all of her bad habits

and toxic traits all at the same time. Such a good watch. We all have that one friend or, you know, at times we all go that one night too big. We've just come across something similar in our lives at some point haven't we yeah definitely heard my friends the other evening talking about someone that they know with quite toxic traits i could see rosie's toxic traits mirrored in this person they were discussing

you know what the best way for us to deal with that as friends is you know do you ride the roller coaster try and give some good advice and it's all in this tv show it's brilliant it's also very comical it's we love rosie as much as we hate her you know yeah it's so with you it's all in this tv show it's brilliant it's also very comical it's we love rosie as much as we hate her you know yeah it's so with you it's a love hate relationship yeah yeah so for example there's a scene in the show where her friend sits her down brings her one-on-one to her house they sit down they have dinner and she sort of says like look you've done x y and z rosie fucks up a lot and you guys will notice that and she's like you need to sort yourself out and she says it in a way you know that we would probably say it to each other. A bit of a tough love sometimes it's tough love but on their own doesn't embarrass her like doesn't explode

on her which you know she fully had the right to explode on her to be fair but I think you know when you've got a character like this they need yeah it's a hard thing to deal with and we've also had a listener write in for advice on dealing with friends with toxic traits yeah which we're going to have a go answering now okay so the dilemma is i'm 30 and have a friend for around 25 years it's a long friendship we're very different have always been very different recently this has become more apparent she has a habit of meeting married men and sleeping with them and she has recently started a new job and the same thing has happened he's now left his wife in there together oh my god no no i really struggle to be her friend as i do not agree with her decisions please let me know how you would deal with this please keep anonymous lots of love

i mean it sounds like that her and this married guy are now you know like an item and you can't break them up because ultimately this is you know her new relationship so i think it's one thing to sort of sit down your friend and be like look i think you're doing silly things and you're self-sabotaging but because she's now actually in a relationship with this guy maybe it will stop i don't know that's really hard for me if you were sleeping married man i'd be like melissa i don't approve absolutely i'd be like do not tell me about this like you're breaking up people's marriages it would be so hard but now she's in a relationship with this person you can't exactly give her a lecture and you can't do this anymore because she's probably going to be like well i'm not because i'm in love with this guy

and we're together and he's left his wife and now we're in a relationship it's a difficult one i think you see how the nature of the whole thing plays out and if it's something you can't be around because you can't bear the thought of like you know you've broken up a marriage to have this relationship then maybe the friendship isn't something that you would want to continue with yeah you have to ask yourself these hard questions sometimes okay melissa we digress but guys we do highly recommend you give rosie malloy gives up everything a watch it's an amazing story about family and friendship but it's also really funny and sheridan smith is absolutely ace in. She really is. Rosie Malloy, played by Sheridan Smith, is available to watch exclusively on Sky TV.

It's Sky Original Series, available on Sky Comedy. All episodes now available. Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists and we're not experts at anything in fact we just chat a lot of shit and we love giving you guys advice

but as we said do not take what we're saying as gospel if you do feel like you need to speak to somebody please seek professional help and that's when I went do you think it's because you're gay she's like you can tell me it's fine i was like just honestly and then i was like am i gay and then for half an hour he considered it like maybe that's it i know wait wait did you go off the phone or did you go no no i was just like

i was like i was like minister i've thought that as well it's not that no because you do when you're in your anxious state and you're trying to find reason for anything. Your brain goes everywhere. Or have I trapped an emotion? Is there something inside of me that's deep down? Yeah, I had that. I remember I watched this thing called The Keepers,

which is a TV show on Netflix about terrible thing about child abuse within the Roman Catholic Church. It's typically in Baltimore. It's an amazing series on Netflix. It's insane. If you've never watched it watch it and there's a lady in it who has a trauma that she's covered up right and then it gets uncovered in this moment and i was going through a really tricky period at the time and i was like well that's me i'm yeah i i haven't i've covered up something in my life dude that's exactly yeah because your brain is just going all over sophie's

actually thinking he has he's covered god it must her. No, I'm just thinking, God, it must have been awful. That must be so, I can't imagine what it's like. You can't, I know Sophie, you get anxiety, right? Yeah, but not. Not, you, Toby, I know you've experienced what I, it's uncontrolled, your brain, like there is just no rational thinking. The more you try, it's terrible.

The worst was in the breakup when I was trying to go to sleep. It's terrible. The worst was in the breakup when I was trying to get to sleep. It's like my brain, instead of releasing the chilled out chemicals, was releasing more anxiety. It's like drifting off to sleep and then I just go, okay, I'm going to go back awake.

I had something where I couldn't shut my eyes. Every time I shut my eyes, they would open again. I'd be like, what's going on? What the hell? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't tell you. What were you about to say yeah

it was one night oh no i can't even it was actually so grim this is a good day for the podcast especially during around christmas when we got back together for a night we went we went for drinks and like i was like i'm sorry like i fucked up not i fucked up but i was like you know this is nothing to do i'm just really anxious i need to support blah blah that there was still that part of my brain i was like when i was rational like yeah like of course it's not i want to be this is the best part of my like you know my life what am i doing and then there was still that part of my brain i was like when i was rational like yeah like of course it's not i want to be this is the best part of my like you know my life what am i doing and then there was that other bit that goes oh no now like what happens if you've made the wrong decision what happens if you aren't meant to be together like be together and then you're dragging her

down with you blah blah so and we tried i was staying at melissa's house when we were trying to get to sleep and i like closed my eyes and i like started hallucinating when i was sleeping and i was like oh my god i'm going mental no no he then stood up starts pacing up and down in the bedroom this is like four it's the only time in my life i've only ever had i genuinely think it was a panic attack and i i'd never experienced anything like it and i'm watching this person that i love so much who i think is just getting back meanies and i'm like what the fuck's going on what were you doing i was just in bed, like in shock, like not really,

I didn't really know what to do or how to handle it. And I was just like, um. It's horrible. I don't know, I just don't think I said anything. I was just so confused.

I was just like, what the? Me too. What were you listening to? You were confused? You were actually, your voice was, this,

I'm not even joking, I actually remember this checked out. You guys, I remember you saying this. What? This only ever happened once. Touch wood,

it never fucking happens ever again. I was so anxious. My brain was just obviously so wired and like turned on. When I went to try and go to sleep, it was like, it was just. Voices. Me going, hello. Yeah, it was like a weird, not the whole time, but like once I had this little like echo. And they're trying to imagine.

I was like, hey, just like imagine your family in the family room at home, like chilling out, like a nice safe space. And it was just like, then they'd all start, then everyone started like floating off the sofa and then Quality Street were going everywhere. And I was like, what the fuck's going on? And then I'd open my eyes and I'd be like, I'm completely fine. When I'd close them, I'd be like, this is chaos.

I know, but you must have been exhausted mentally as well. Yeah, it just drained me. That's exhausting. I've had it where I've been in the shower and like really loud thoughts have come through, but like it's like someone's shouting and I was like I called my therapist

and was like have I got schizophrenia yeah yeah yeah that's what a lot of anxious people think they're like going mental I was literally like someone is talking

in my lap voice and she was just like you're just so heightened she went you're absolutely nuts yeah fucking hell you're a lost cause yeah yeah yeah

don't call this number again sorry wrong number who's Sophie Abou Yeah. Fucking hell, you're a lost cause. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't call this number again. Sorry, wrong number. Who's Sophie and Boone? This is absolutely nuts. Can't deal with that. I feel like it's probably the same thing. It's like when it's just so high.

But it's very scary when you don't understand it. The mind is scary. Yeah. You've got to look after it. Can I ask you a question though? When you guys got back together and you had reconnection sex, was it amazing? It was phenomenal. We actually had sex you a question though? When you guys got back together and you had reconnection sex, was it amazing? It was phenomenal.

We actually had sex quite a lot though during the breakup. Did you? Naughty, naughty. It absolutely was to your knowledge because I would FaceTime you every single, every moment of my day.

No, but they were like getting back together then. It wasn't like it was like in the time we weren't speaking. I think there was maybe four occasions when we weren't together that I saw you. Yeah, there was.

It wasn't actually that much. And that's actually made it more common i think i could have fucking healed the whole process a lot quicker had i not faffed around it was what was making me anxious was the fact that melissa wasn't really my girlfriend which was completely my fault so i was like i kind of like i'm not ready for a relationship yet but i love you so much i really like this girl but i want i want to build it back up and then i was like fuck no i'm like i'm in this weird situation melissa we're not like together and she might be like shagging other people and i was like that's completely my fault i could do everything to stop this and that's when i pulled my finger out finger finger out and i was like just like just chill everything is fine and this will like just it's like getting like you also

saw someone great drifting away So it was like yeah I'm gonna lose her and I was with those times we were like go for dinner and I was like watching her in front of Me like just bound around and be this little ball of energy as I'm gonna lose this girl And so I have to do something quite quick And I did it. Thank God I also there's also though you go. I think you have this as well and so do you presh you guys are much stronger than guys but i think guys are like from my experience guys are weak they're way more sensitive every boy in my life has been a lot more sensitive than any other yeah i don't think you guys are like strong

after like two weeks you're like okay enough crying now even you said to melissa when you said okay stop crying now it's enough yeah you were like i've had enough of this melissa like we've got to stop this now yeah i said you can't talk about him anymore yeah and i and if that was blokes we you know i was like delete his everything and i did i just did it in front of you i deleted all i did all the chats i tried to call and she thought i was the estate agent i know but how could it hello i was like oh hi she was like oh i thought you're the estate agent no she went sorry i'm so sorry, I'm running late. Or something.

I remember I was quite excited for the phone call because it was like I'd put an offer in on the house and I was like waiting for the phone call back to see if I got it. And it was like, I don't have no number calling, which is like what my stage agent normally calls on. That was me. That is, that is.

Hello. Yeah. Hello. Hello. I think it's amazing strength though though like i like it would take you almost rationalize it in your head much better you go okay i've cried enough now now i gotta get over it boys much more like go i feel like they do maybe i'm wrong and maybe i'm speaking generalizing in this but we really just fall into it and delve into it and yeah i know and

wallow in our own pity for so long that's definitely what i've done i've always been like that whether it's a i don't know yeah whether it's a breakup or like something that's not gone right in my life i'd be like oh everyone should feel really sorry so advice then so how do you get over a breakup you've never had your heart broken so if you be uh yeah but maybe it will happen i hope it doesn't i've definitely had breakups i've gone through hard times i don't know whether i've had that like pain that you've said it's just like a sudden physical i've never had it before and i could never feel that much sympathy now when anyone tells me they're going through a breakup i'm like oh yeah it's horrible it's the worst it's

going to be one of the hardest things you ever go through it's the worst feeling in the world it's great when i was 16 years old it was the worst thing ever i didn't understand the emotion really and i like can you really it's the only thing i can put it down to i've never felt like that and i've never had that emotion again got broken up with and i was like sorry i was like i was like oh what we're gonna get married don't understand what's happened here like i couldn't understand the i didn't understand it's the only time apart from like anxiety and stuff like that where i just haven't understood an emotion i've never had it that bad in my life and touch wood i i do everything now to not ever get like that i know obviously anxiety is going to pop up but like that i'm

doing enough to like not feel that but it was yeah but i remember the only other time i've had like an adult breakup was like i went through every process of the grieving process like the i'm all right for like a week i was like yeah i'm fine and then like the sadness then the bit of anger and like resentment yeah yeah i've like heard i saw her doing well on instagram and stuff and i'm like fuck you and then it was like the okay happy she's doing well like sweet she's got her thing going on i'm gonna start dating now and I just went literally through the textbook every stage of like, you know,

you read those articles and like the Guardian and whatever they are, cosmopolitan. No, no, not me. I googled how to get over a breakup honestly three times a day. The amount of podcasts.

I was like, I'm going to find a drug that's just going to fix me. That's how desperate you are to like get rid of the feeling and that's only what I can imagine what anxiety is. Yeah, anxiety. Yeah, you want a quick fix, quick fix, a quick fix quick fix now you're so desperate for the feelings to just

disappear within you it's horrible it's horrible don't do elf bars if you have anxiety yes they'll fuck you up i agree so it was mad into those elf bars for a bit wasn't it and i was like i honestly think it's this and i i put it threw it away and I was like it's gone it makes your head feel cloudy and it gives you full anxiety like the actual feeling in your chest but it's temporary relief

a lot of my friends have anxiety do it and they're like it makes you less anxious and I'm like don't think it but then it really does yeah it doesn't

have you just quickly when you guys when you guys go home do you share a bedroom do your parents allow that yes

I'm 25 years old James fucking hell that'd be weird we're not that much younger than you my family aren't Amish I go home and do you share a bedroom? Do your parents allow that? 25 years old James. We're not that much younger than you. I found me an Amish. I thought they were. The tatins are just in robes. Mr Watkins. Your room's that way.

Prayers at eight. In robeses oh my god my dad's quite sweet to be fair every time he sees you he goes the demons will get you oh yeah

he would know when he man thanks for triggering me again yeah no like tries to like give him a bit of business advice otherwise the demons

will get you I'm like dad no not the demons oh god what does it mean I don't get it as in like the anxiety

he's because obviously his his I think a lot of not that Edwin has anxiety No, not the demons. Oh, God, what does that mean? I don't get it. As in, like, the anxiety? Because obviously his, I think a lot of, not that Edwin has anxiety, but he's had times where he's felt overwhelmed when he has, in business, when he hasn't had a roadmap of what he's doing. And, like, a clear vision. So that's how he relates to it. So he's like, you know, I've been there.

You need to have a roadmap. Otherwise, the demons will get you. He's like, no, no, Dad, we can't say that word around here. Not the demons. We met your parents the other night and your dad said that to me about romance

so true best piece of advice I've ever had from anyone was when I tried to join an agency about when I first started doing MIC right

and someone said to me I want to try to join this agency which I'm now at weirdly enough interesting yeah they were called James Grant before

oh yeah and yeah they were in Chiswick and I went there and I met the guy and he said, look, we can't sign you. And I know you're here to be signed, even though I was asking for advice. And I hadn't even started the show.

He said, if I give you one piece of advice, if you were driving up the M1 back to university in Leeds, don't veer off to Manchester, know your destination. And I was like, OK, fine, I'll follow that rule. Done that ever since. You have to know your destination. Yeah. Damn straight.

Damn straight. Merry Christmas, bitches. When was the first time you guys said you love each other? I think it was last time Did we say last time? Yeah

I can't remember It was January last year after He knows the date Militia's brother's birthday and we'd had a few lovely

family dinners and we were cleaning our teeth after one of them and I was like I love you Oh Sweet I remember you calling me going he told me he loved me everyone i remember well you and hermione who are the people that i speak to most in the universe maybe after you um we're

both like oh he's gonna ask you to be his girlfriend oh he's gonna tell you he loves you at every freaking like event or dinner that was coming up. You know when you, like, get to a certain point in your relationship when it's, like, every holiday you go and you're like, he's going to propose, he's going to propose. It was almost like that, but, like, obviously on a much lower scale. And I was like, oh, my God, no, please don't. And then it was so unexpected when you said it,

because I was like, no, definitely not hearing the loo, like, we're brushing our teeth. Can I give advice to any boy, not to my boy don't talk about any boy who say whether you're proposing or whether you're saying i love you or whether you're asking someone out to be a government do it unexpected the unexpected is the best thing in the world yeah like especially if you're proposing or whatever i like the unexpected is the coolest thing to do because everyone is expecting the expected both 100 both my brothers did the sweetest thing they did it on their girlfriend's birthdays and james my oldest

brother did it in the morning she was like he organized for her to have a massage at home made her breakfast in bed and then he was in the he was in the kitchen and she was like something's weird because he's put shorts on and he'd like normally just wear boxes around the house but he'd like put on a t-shirt and shorts she was like he's acting weird and then he went to the kitchen was trying to blow up balloons and like popped one of them but surely she just thought like oh it's my birthday yeah it's my birthday maybe he's trying to be sweet and then he like brought her some like toast in bed and like a cup of coffee and then got down on one knee yeah that's cool that's player that's player right there it's like the double surprise

she probably thought oh sweet he's doing a surprise birthday like he's popped one of the balloons and then she's like oh fuck you know he's actually proposed and then they went for a lovely lunch and then they in the evening she he'd organized a surprise birthday for her so all of her friends were gathered in a um in a bar and they none of them knew that they'd got engaged because they didn't tell anyone and then she didn't know that all of her friends were going to be there so they got to tell everyone in real life that they'd like in person that they'd got engaged no that's heaven

well we have our anniversary coming up this Saturday and it's Melissa's on your birthday so we're going to go to the Rosewood for a drink before where yeah

oh my god yeah because do you remember we had been newly dating and I went I was obviously coming to meet you guys at the Rosewood because it was just me

with my brother with your bro and I had just proposed to Sophie this is a year ago oh my god that is mental I was on holiday coming to meet you guys at the Rosewood because it's just me with my brother. With your bro. And I had just proposed to Sophie. This is, it's a year ago. Oh my God. That is mental.

I was on holiday. Yeah, you were stuck in Barbados. Oh my God, I remember sending you a picture being like, Sophie, am I allowed to send Toby a picture of the fact you guys are married? Oh my God, it was just fricking great. Love is that. What is your love language? What's your love language, Sophie?

I think mine's being touched. I like to be touched. I like to hold hands. I like to always be in contact. And then what else Do you normally have two Words of affirmation maybe No

No not at all Didn't care about that Not at all Almost annoy me I don't really like The words of affirmation Yours It's acts

Acts of service Maybe a little bit You like Like honestly Like acts of service You are a little bit Presley what is your What's your

Did you say that you're What's yours Love thing is Love languages i think that my number one is definitely physical touch then i do like words of affirmation i think there's something about i've had in a relationship before where i feel like i've made a big effort to maybe look nice and go after my boyfriend's just been gone like all right let's go without being like oh it's true like you're so complimentary of me and like you're always like oh my god you're so beautiful and i actually think that that affects like has a lot more of an effect on someone than you think it does you're very good at that we'll both be like arlette minging you're like no you don't but like you genuinely know but like you just genuinely compliment me sometimes and it's

like it actually affects me more than i ever thought it would so i actually think words of affirmation are a big thing for me now than i ever thought so what am i uh words of affirmation are a big thing for me now than I thought so what am I uh words of affirmation without a doubt yeah 100 percent um 100 touch acts of service and then gift giving I think is one of them yours you know what acts of service for me a little bit like wait but you you don't really do it that much maybe that's why like you know I like when you cook me something if I come home you make you baked me a cake i'm like that is so sick yeah i remember there was one time i love that melissa bought me i ran out of it was actually your lip balm you'd given to me and it'd run out and then melissa like oh i saw

you'd run out of lip balm so i just bought you a new one and i was like yeah see that for me is insane that's what i'm gonna say it's like when sophie made me a scrapbook for my birthday last year that's the best thing ever or when. When you were anxious when we got together, like this is like pre, pre, pre going out. And I got him a little crystal key ring. Yeah. That's mega. You can hold it when you get anxious.

And then you lost it. It broke. It broke. She just crushed it so hard. I thought the count's there. Are you messy? You're not. You're untidy.

You're not messy. Sophie's untidy not messy so no no we're quite similar you know my house when i went to yours jamie screams me over my house and i said oh do not say screams i'm just physical i i came back from melissa i said you would die if you went and i was laughing i was like i love it just made it made me love you even more because it was just like chaos but the chaos that i would but it was so clean and tidy oh my god the clothes but that is how i would like folded to be fair my queen does it but like she felt like i know that like i'm gonna put organized piles like right this is back from body these are my black my like my black section of like stuff that i need to put away in my summer wardrobe i don't have enough space for it yeah

space i have i live in a one-bed flat you guys have a lot more space sophie there honestly we're like an amazon delivery set like honestly a bit of a mess too i do need to go back but it's all it's sophie sophie when she left sophie said to me when we left the flat loving podcast i love you very very much i love you i'm getting married to flat this is a loving podcast I love you very very much I love you I'm getting married to you I can say these things I love you very much

but you are you have recently been messy like pint glasses like upstairs but you know what almost pint oh my god

no no no I am this person there's five glasses next to my bed at any time of the night everywhere Sophie does this thing also where she'll be like

she'll get up I watch her I watch her watch where she'll get up. I watch her. I watch her. Watch her. She'll put like a bottle of whatever. She had like a volvic fruit water on the ground here by the sofa. And I'll see a bit of that and in my head I go, she's going to knock that over.

Like 100%. Sophie's so clumsy. People that don't know this about Sophie, she's so clumsy. So clumsy. I'm like, she's so clumsy. So clumsy. I'm like, she's going to knock that over. And I'm just going to give her the sauce.

Why don't you stop me then? She gets up, knocks over, goes down. I'm like, oh my God. The worst time it happened was she came home

a tiny bit drunk, but not really that drunk. And she had this, it's like a big bowl of granola in a big glass thing. Yeah. In a nice granola jar with granola in she went up she she grabbed it and wanted my granola and just dropped it it smashed on the top and she went oops and then left it i saw her walk out

she walked out the room went to bed i just was like i was like deal with it in the morning she came down the morning all cleaned up by me. She's like, where did that granola? You forgot you had even done it. He was like, why is this glass in the corner? I was like, because you smashed a granola bowl thing. Oops. Oops. What are your icks with each other?

I like this. We were saying this the other day. I don't think Melissa's ever done anything that's been icky. Nothing ever? No. No. I think if you do something that's icky. I said't think Melissa's ever done anything that's been icky. Nothing ever? No. No. I think if you do something that's... I said I had this conversation with one of Jamie's friends.

I really hate farting. And now it's a real issue where Jamie cannot fart in front of me. Because I said, our marriage won't last. Because it makes me feel that sick. So that's my only it. I don't... Like, going to the loo, whatever. He doesn't close the door.

Like, I've learned to deal with it. That's part of me. No, that's not okay. Yeah, it's really not okay. Really? For Barry? FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling.

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I honestly, I could not care less. But other people do. Good for you, but she does. I've also said this before, like Sophie and I during lockdown. I said this in the other podcast. Sophie and I during lockdown, I needed it. Like Sophie wanted to look at it. No, no, I didn't.

He had really bad stomach on the side of the road. We were on one of those lockdown walls. And we walked past it and your eyes just got, I couldn't help myself. She ran to look at it. I was so confused as to what had just happened because it was like, you had seriously bad stomach. And I was like, maybe you had a parasite or something.

Like, I was honestly interested to see what the outcome was stranger things was going to be on the floor because i could see it from a distance and i was like i've never seen that sort of situation happen so i had to go and have a look but i don't go into the loo when you and inspect your fucking stuff so they're my two icks and i've really had deep words recently because like you know marriage has got to be kept alive. I so agree. You don't really do anything that... Come on. Oh, no.

Here we go. For Christmas, Preshy. For Christmas. Anything, Preshy. Oh, no. Oh, no, I can't resist. Toby does this accent sometimes. It's just so not him.

Shut up, man. I'm listening to you. You're kind of pissing me off still i'm like can you not it's icking me out like it's really good it's so accurate what's on the tv from i'm like no no it's not oh the dinner's kind of laying still something kind of nasty i don't like it she hates it i'm like no it makes me feel weird i was going would you rather I speak like that or be like, oh my god, Melissa. Dinner was fantastic. You sound like that.

Rupert was over last night. He looks like, it's only like Toad from Toad Hall doing that. Sorry, unbelievable accent over there. Unbelievable. What will freak you out about that is because he could actually be another person there. No, I met his whole family. They all sound the same.

No. As in like, you could just look at him and be like, fuck, that's so accurate. No, it's so accurate. That's why it freaks me out. Because I'm like, it's not you. Like, why? Like, I don't know. It makes me feel icky and weird.

Like, this other boyfriend. Well. Speaking of spooky things. We almost tried out the odd handcuffs the other night. Oh my God. Just thought I'd throw that in there. Because our sex life is now going to be wild after this gift yeah no no no no so we we went to a friend's um after party on saturday night friday night yeah friday and there's a pair of cufflinks cufflinks on the side and we were

both drunk and i'm like did you take them so we snuck them into my jacket pocket but I was so drunk by the end of the night I took home the wrong coat. So then? We got them back this morning though. Gave them a little go I broke them straight away.

Gutted. Did you really? You gave them? No, I'm not in the bedroom. We just, you just put them on like as a joke and then I was like

in a flimsy. Oh right, so you did actually try having sex. No, but we might give some purchase now Amazon Prime Shit, I should have got that for you

It feels like we need to just complete that mission that we had Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm with you I'm going to get like police grade ones and then just leave you with a radio Like Boy George I would honestly, if you turned up in like a little like santa outfit what is it

like not santa but like i know what you mean okay if you had to do one role play what would it be santa and his elf i would love to be santa who are you i'm not an elf i would like to be santa what me as big out and you have yeah her nickname would be Big Elf as well I'm not I'm not Big Elf uh oh you just said

oh Big Elf's coming I would dress you up as Rudolph and you have to climb on all fours and all the time I would not be that here comes Prancer

is that genuinely yours and I would then get a real raider in surely that is not your fantasy you dressing up I think you dressing up as a little elf

yeah an elf that's so wait anything in the world you can have I like the idea of like a short mini skirt

and like I don't know like a school girl I'll be the headmaster whatever anywhere basically Jamie's like mine's over full now

he's like can't talk about it anymore I'm gonna have to leave the room my headmaster school teacher quite fun you actually said a school girl outfit

I thought yeah that would be quite funny what about a sailor and like a sailor girl outfit yeah yeah if it is a bunch of sailors I recall the school girl thing being mentioned before

was it you who said that to me no not school girl a school teacher let's just get that right they are school teacher they're not a school girl I'm not doing school girl i'm not

doing a common entrance a wave of that um or what would yours be tobes chef and sous chef bus driver and co-pilot i'm really trying to think what is actually yours mine the massage thing i told you this yeah baby, I'm not dressed up, I'm naked. Even better. Saves costs on the outfit. Wait, you want a massage, Melissa? Toby's like desperate to give me like a full on massage. Yeah, Jamie's done that. Jamie's done that.

He's like, the thought of me just being able to just do it if I want. I'm like, but you can do that anyway. I know you can do it. But pretend you don't really know it's happening. Yeah, pretend they're like, you know. Present for Toby is you can just get them a massage bed and then on the reg you get full time massage it's fun can I just say when we first started he kept doing that to me

and I was like this is so fucking weird please stop it's a kink 100% we said the estate agent one last night if you were pretending to came in dressed in a shuffle like I work for nightbreak a shuffle a shuffle wherever you call it oh my god that's quite good actually as well and i'm something where it's unexpected yeah yeah or like when you're alone with someone yeah like like a like a like a changing changing room

person and you're in the changing excuse me can i have another can i have a medium in that and then oh yeah they just come in yeah basically just anything unexpected I thought you were going to say a gynecologist then

no gynecologist a doctor a doctor or something no no your arm's not broken your therapist my therapist

please sit down me and tell me your worries that reminds me of suits that's because in suits like therapists is really fit

and she's like deep diving into his love life. Library teaching you to get a really high book. Toby's dealt with one of those before, haven't you? Oh, yeah. Dated. Have you? My ex was a librarian at one point, yeah.

Right, we've got to rate the wine. I'm giving it a five. Yeah, I had a lovely homemade mulled wine last night, so I'm going to say this is a five. I just want to say remember handjobs for Christmas massages

don't smoke health bars don't smoke health bars massages go down well so a bit of lube a bit of massage a bit of oil and Merry Christmas everybody

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas guys have a wonderful wonderful Christmas may all your dreams come true and thank you so much to Toby and Jamie for joining us

thank you guys we appreciate Toby and Jamie for joining us. Yes, special, special. Thank you guys. We appreciate it. Love you guys. Love you, bye. Bye. Bye. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us.

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