Wednesdays - 89: NYE with boyfriend’s ex!

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

Hi team! We are coming to you with a little episode to keep you company between Christmas and New Year. We are talking about how to handle a boyfriend’s ex at New Years and discussing boyfriends who don’t get jealous! Plus, which Love Island star has slid into Melissa’s DM’s?!We are drinking our favourite red Jamshed to see us into the new year! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded. Or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either, and we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts at anything, and we're not psychologists. We're not.

We're not experts at anything. In fact, we just challenge all the shit, so. And we love giving you guys advice, but as we said. We love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Hi, guys. We are just coming to you with a quick little episode quick little episode

quick little you know that awkward period between christmas and new year we're quite drunk on jamshed if i'm totally honest we've had a couple well couple glasses and you know we just needed to debrief with you guys we wanted to connect because we miss you guys and also it's just a bit of a weird part of the year isn't it these like this is a week long that we've got in between christmas and new year it's an awkward amount of time it's a real lull there's nothing really going on so we thought we'd just you know be with you on here and chat throughout this time yeah australia jamshed 2021 rich jammy and smooth shiraz carbon neutral shiraz shiraz quite cool that it's carbon neutral certified also i just love the colors there's something i just love the fact it's called

creamy about like the color blue like do you know what i mean like i just changed it and i'll just put the bottle no i just love it tastes delicious i feel delirious as anything today but it's it's honestly i feel hazy i'm so hazy yeah yeah it's because i'm hungover ish it's red wine right i can have three glasses of red wine we've gone out every single night for the last three weeks and we are feeling bit i just don't have any more chat inside me i know like the personality like drain yeah i see people and i'm like hi but then i do think there's something to say for you know like it's just this time of year like it happens every year and we can't beat ourselves up about it like it's just one of those things just gotta embrace it you know what i mean i was starting to feel guilty and i just thought you know what i wasn't feeling guilty one bit because i've only

been having the weirdest thing is i've been having two glasses of red that's it home time wake up feeling like death i'm like i know but why i don't know why like red wine does that to me too a bit i feel as though i've been drinking like all night long why does it do that i think it's the red wine i also think it's staining these attachments no yeah you can whiten them i think just put a bit of whitening in there guys if you know what my attachments are they you know the invisalign they're like the little dots they feel like little like canines coming off your mouth it's awful oh she likes that doesn't she it's just wonderful it is gorgeous and it's so christmassy Like that I would have over a dessert. Oh, I'd have it with a dessert. The mince pie next to the fire. I'm not a fan of mince pies.

Oh, stop. Don't talk to me. I like stolen. Don't talk to me. What the hell are all these fancy words? What's that, stolen? What is stolen? It's like fruit and nuts with like crisp together,

like caramelized together with like icing sugar on the outside. Delicious. No, no, no. Or mince pies all the way or a bit of terry's chocolate orange that's quite nice or just any chocolate terry's i don't know what it is about terry chocolate at christmas my grandparents give it to me every year wrapped up how sweet no no they didn't do my stocking they just give me like a bundle like presents and it's normally like one of the little gifts they give me and my brother the same thing every

year so we always just know we're going to get chocolate orange for christmas it's lovely it is delicious it's just part of these traditions isn't it okay let's dive into this episode i mean i hope you guys had a nice christmas because this is actually coming out after christmas so yeah we're going to be like full of red wine full of jam full of cheese full of terry's chocolate orange and we're going to be like there's no more yeah we're actually gonna talk about some new year's dilemmas so things that you know you guys are worried about coming up to the new year's eve because it's quite a you know what the thing about new year's eve is there's always so much anticipation and i always find it slightly disappointing oh my god every single time it's every single time what is that about i'd rather actually just do

nothing watch the fireworks on the telly go to sleep and then a hundred it's just too planned i hate organized fun like that i fell asleep before new year and that was very boring but this year we're going to scotland which hopefully stunning stuff so fun really fun i'm really with the pub with spencer and vogue they'll have their kids it'll be really wholesome i think his whole family's there, so it'll be super fun. Righty-ho. Should we jump into dilemmas? I'm going to read the first one up,

because Sophie's not up for it. Oh, wait. They're all long. Oh, fuck, yeah. Do you want me to just read the... I'll read the first one, then. Yeah, you read the first one. Okay.

Love the podcast, but girls, I'm in desperate need of your help. So two months into mine and my boyfriend's relationship, he admitted to sleeping with one of his friends which stopped at the end of last year oh my god right hold on can we just rewind and understand this so they've been together for two months and he was sleeping with one of his friends which stopped at the end of last year so i'm assuming that there was no crossover no no okay fine so but it's obviously bumming her out because she's like that's not okay right this upset me but as we didn't know each other then i let it go as he

rarely sees her now and she's moved away fine and also i have slept with one of my best mates years ago so i can't really be a hypocrite however fast forward six months and i found out it was way more recent that it stopped that in fact he was still sending flirty messages just a month before we made it official i said how uncomfortable that makes me feel and she is stunning which makes it even worse oh no that's what makes we're hosting new year's eve and she's coming and i'm shitting myself overthinking as this is the first time we are seeing each other since everything stopped and we got together. How should I act? Because she has a tendency to be cold.

I'm just going to be so on edge and feel like I'm watching them all night to see how they act. Keep being honest. So she's already coming. We've got to just deal with the fact that she's already coming. We can't uninvite her. This scenario is happening. Get yourself feeling and looking great. Yeah there's feeling confident as great as you want and when you see her walking she sounds like she's stunning as well that's what i think like

i know but like you know what we have yeah yeah we put a look at this is this life and things like this happen in life sometimes so we have to just carry on and i would just be so lovely to her act honestly as if you don't give two sods. Two sods? Yeah, a sod. You know what I mean? Just act like you really just don't care about it at all and it's not even a thing.

You just have to do that because there's no other way of you actually doing it. And you cannot, when he comes over to you, ever say anything about it. You can't even be like, why are you talking to your dad? Like you have to continuously act like you don't give two sods.

Exactly. And it will eat you alive but just you have to do it and also don't drink too much don't drink really not drink too much i would literally have a few glasses and then because one too many you're gonna you'll say something or you'll do something also you know what you don't want to happen you don't want to be talking to your friends or him about the situation it's pissing you off and then she overhears it that no no you need to say she knows because she will look so cool in that situation she'll be like why does she fucking care like it was just exactly it was even before

her you know and then you'll look like the loser no we can't you've got to just hold face save face save face save fake it till you make it fake it till you make it we've all kind of done that in a certain scenario we've all had to deal with something like that. Yeah, and then actually, you talk to loads of other people and your boyfriend will hopefully be like, not give two sods about her and want to be with you. Okay. Right, dilemma two. Ready for this? Yeah. I recently got out of an eight-year-long relationship, broke up two months ago.

I'm 29 and he's 31. We're American and live in the US. We broke up because I was ready to get married and he wasn't. He still has a lot to figure out and I cannot keep waiting. It's for the country and spend the holidays with the family. Lovely. I was nervous about the idea of dating in my hometown. Everyone knows everyone. So before moving home, I decided to go on a dating app in the mid-sized city I was living in and see what was out there. I matched with this cool guy, 33, handsome, a lawyer. Wow. And on a whim, decided we should go for drinks, both knowing I'd be moving in a week. We met up and immediately hit

it off christ lovely but lovely as well astounding but also quite yeah quite annoying i went back to his place and we had a great night together yippee we even ended up going on another romantic date before i left dinner and a drive in his convertible i'm so romantical and got breakfast together the next morning he's lovely and sweet and we have a lot in common he also has a previous long-term relationship seven years that ended and we both bonded over that i've since moved home we're still texting regularly i'm thinking about him nearly all the time and i know he quite likes me too we even talked about meeting up over a weekend getaway in canada i know things can't really progress because my breakup is still so fresh and he and I live on other sides of the country.

Plus, I know he's talking to other girls. He updated the photos on his dating profile. It's wild how we all know that's the giveaway. And even had a date with a different girl the night between my two dates with him. Quite bold, but also i understand given the fact that i'm so unavailable i have a tendency to fall in love quickly and as much as i like to with this guy i want to be careful with my heart but maybe a well-willed romance with a successful hunk is exactly the kind of fun that i need in my life even if it doesn't lead anywhere should i keep

talking with him and try to make a canada trip happen or just forget it thanks oh i would not be able to not do it i would go i would 100% do the canada weekend yeah same lovely fucking you deserve it also have lovely lovely sex and drink so much wine have a lovely time i also don't think there's you know how like people come up and then you make it fucking work you may be the one don't worry too's you know like people come up with a long-term relationship and then you make it fucking work you just may be the one don't worry too much about being like i'm so unavailable because i've just come out of a relationship don't overthink it don't overthink it you feel a certain type of way for a reason and you don't have to be there's this like rule where it's like you have to be single for at least two years now find yourself before you can fall in

love again i do think to a certain degree like things like that are true like if you're not over it you should probably get back to a place where you're so happy being alone yeah before you fall in love because otherwise you find people out of loneliness rather than out of love totally you have to like be happy with yourself yeah and you have to be just but life sometimes works mysterious ways and like maybe he's the one and he sounds great a lawyer drives a convertible wow stunning what That's outstanding. What's not to like? I wouldn't let that be. I would be like Canada going straight on Skyscanner. Oh, yeah, yeah. I would just be looking at houses and right move to move to where he lives.

First date, I'd be on that right move. So talking to my business being like, so is there any like relocation to Canada? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you transfer me to Canada? Also, Canada's quite a lovely place. No, it's kosher. You can smoke weed in Canada. You can.

Yeah. Can't you smoke weed in all of LA? You can smoke weed in Washington. LA, I think. Kris Janna was like popping gummies the whole... Really? Yeah, in the Kardashians. Oh my God, I haven't watched Kardashians in ages. I need to catch up on that.

It's finished, but you need to catch up. I need to follow this. Kim, look. Did she? Chef's kiss. Out of control. Best several. Okay, last dilemma. Right, so we say book Canada. Stop overthinking. Live your fucking life. You only live once. Life is too short. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, it's fucking rare to find blokes like that, let me tell you. And also, it's rare to feel the feels. And also, just even if you look back at it and be like, ooh, that summer fling or that Canadian fling, like, stunning. Lovely stuff. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do.

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Please play responsibly on number three i went out with this boy when i was 15 16 very young i know and for context i'm 22 years old now we are still friends as i have the same social group after we broke up he's been non-stop flirting with me and being inappropriate every social event that we happen to be at together. This has been going on for years and we've both had other relationships from 15 years old to 22. Two years old throughout this time. We haven't slept together. We have slept together multiple times.

For context, I'm now in a happy relationship with a new guy and have been for two years now. My ex-boyfriend from when i was 15 also has a new girlfriend and has been with her for a year or so however every time he sees me he tells me he still has feelings for me and at parties he's even gone to the extent of asking me to kiss him whilst his girlfriend is in the other room sorry i couldn't believe what i was reading there oh my god so imagine we're at a party no no i can't bear it i'm picturing jamie asking i'm not physically sick you just kiss me because melissa's in the other room she can't see and like him just the fact like anyone being in love with their ex the ex oh no no no it's all painful no it's horrible this is the reason why a lot of people are insecure

because there is stories of shit like this happens, which is terrible. Yeah. Fuck. Okay. For example, we were at a house party and I was queuing to use the bathroom. He was in before me, so he opened the door, clocked me, and just as I come, I come whispering, come kiss me, come kiss me. No. Love his perfect. His girlfriend was in the kitchen three meters away.

No, no, I can't bear it. God, he can't resist her. The fact that he actually said he'd come and kiss her. That is quite lovely though. If you've heard it, you'd be like, God, I'm so irresistible. At another party, my current boyfriend was picking me up and my ex from 15 years old

stopped me on the stairs, hugged me and proceeded to do the staring at my eyes, then lips trick. Lol. I panicked and said no no not happening i have tried telling my boyfriend in drips and drabs about my ex's inappropriate behavior and my boyfriend is so chill about it slightly worrying i was i also don't know how i can continue to go to social events with my ex and his new girlfriend knowing

that he will continuously flirt with me and overstep the line what do i do ps love the pod first of all we love you and you sound fucking great yeah yeah you're irresistible babe hold that i i'm just gonna touch on the point about the fact that her current boyfriend's not getting that jealous that would love it that's so no that's so fair but also it would really annoy me yeah it would annoy me jamie wouldn't give a shit either if I was like so and so really funny. I think Jamie would. Even if it wasn't an ex-boyfriend, anyone, come and kiss me, come and kiss me.

Then like hugging me on the step. The ex-boyfriend is like punchy. Ushering her into the bathroom. He gives no fucks. He's like, She could go and just tell the girlfriend, like, sorry, your boyfriend's just done this to me.

He obviously doesn't care. He probably just wants her back. I want to see this girl. She's obviously got like some serious sass about her. Yeah, and nurse. Fuck. Right, what's the dilemma? What do you want us to answer?

Right, what do you do? Okay, well, I mean, I don't think you should stop it from letting you have a good time. I would just keep going. I would just keep going. I'm strong enough to be like, oh, just leave me alone.

I'd be like, mate, I'm really sorry. Like, I know you want to kiss me, but stop it. Like, I know I'm absolutely irresistible. I know I am gorgeous. You think I'm be like, mate, I'm really sorry. Like, I know you want to kiss me, but stop it. Like, I know I'm absolutely irresistible. I know I am gorgeous. You think I'm drop dead, but no. But nah. No, no.

I'd bring the boyfriend with me as well and just be like, enough's enough. Set the tone. Right, so this is another thing that's upsetting her in this dilemma that we need to discuss because she said her boyfriend's not bothered at all, which is slightly worrying.

You want them to care because I'm kind of like well or maybe you're being a bit too brief and he doesn't quite realize how irresistible you are maybe you have to be like look hun he's like ushering me in to the loo yeah he's a quickie he's saying come in here let me kiss you whilst he's got like the boyfriend surely is like this is not okay but the fact she's so obviously running back back to her boyfriend being like ah no he's probably like oh i know you love me over him you know what i mean yeah i'm also just trying to think it's i know it sounds different but like

you almost i would almost run to the boyfriend like protection like oh my god he's trying to kiss me like stop it kind of thing like get him to stop doing it yeah help me whereas if she was on the other foot if toby was like oh god my ex-girlfriend was asking me to kiss her in the other room i'd be like well you did something same it would all be his fault i would be like we're broken up yeah same you're not allowed to go to those parties ever again well you obviously kissed her then didn't you my brain would go to all sorts of dark places so i'd be like you obviously gave her a look i think yeah yeah you gave her the impression i'd be like you called her a nickname i you know i'm i'm gonna have to say i think i would ban the parties from being allowed unless i was there actually no would i no i would just be like to be fair i get like people like sliding to tabby's dms like god i

should look at jamie's yeah although we're like quite clearly married so i don't think anyone yeah like nearly wears podcast everywhere very true because i get no you'd be surprised though some people just have no shame and don't care i get so angry i'm honestly like no i'm not fuck them up what am i gonna do little me leave my boyfriend alone the minute i got engaged no one slides in anymore i occasionally get some footballer with the blue tick i look at them i'm like blue tick who's that and they've got like 8 000 followers and they look about 15 why does that happen to me i get so many and they're like they're like miss habu would love to take you on like can you not see i'm engaged they don't think they care he's 15 i look at him i'm like the fact you think you have a chance like get on you

yeah rate the confidence rate the confidence i often get a lot of um i've had a few dick pics in my life yeah i've had a few dick pics in my time too not nice ones though horrid horrible horrid nothing to be proud of like shocking i think they're joking i think it's drunk boys and they're like let's send Sophie a dick pic. And I open it and I'm like, I've never seen all that just balls. Why do I, I also just open the pictures and I have no idea what I'm doing. I open every picture. Same pretty much.

That's like the main thing I open when I get a dick pic. Can they see that we've opened them? Yeah. It says open. Oh, that's terrible. Jamie gets prank calls every other night because he's obviously gone to so many PAs and given loads of these. Y'all, this loads of these. No. It's his fault for giving those.

Oh my God. I'm just being a jealous bitch. But he's given all these and then he gets all these prank calls. They're like, Jamie, like. And he's like, hello. That's what his voice. Wait, Jamie just answers like, hello. Jamie goes to every unknown number.

He goes, hello. Why would you? I never, ever, ever answer the phone unless the number saved in my number and i'm always like if it's really important they'll leave a message it's what i always think i always think the same but sometimes when they call call call call it could be an emergency so yeah hello and they're like once it was um michael by call and he went hello and james was like hello and he was like is that jamie now? Who have I had? The recent one I had was that Liam from Love Island. What?

The little Liam? No, he's very tall and he's got dark hair and he's very tanned. He's the one that went out with that Millie girl. He's a gorgeous boy. I didn't watch it, show me. He replied to my HelloFresh story like, where's the finished product then? Quite funny. I was like, oh no, I can't watch that.

Do you remember when I used to be like Melissa when you were single? I was like, all you want to do is reply to the story no no guys sophie right i slid into one boys dm in my entire life and it went down like a sack of shit it got deleted by oh my god something weird happened i had to resend it because i was like and then again and then it deleted again and i'm like what the fuck so this, he's actually friends with Toby, quite awkward. Anyway. Does Toby know? Oh, yeah, 100%.

I told him. As soon as I saw they were friends, I was like, oh, my God, I have to tell you the funniest story about that boy. So it was like a day after I was single. So he's like, you know what you've got to do? You've got to just slide into the DMs. It's because Emily Blackwell, when I was single, was like, all you've got to do is reply to DMs.

So I started like replying to DMs. To stories. Didn't work. No one replied to me. so i started like replying to stories didn't work no one replied to me they were like who's this fucking weirdo being like smart oh my god stop so all i did was i took sophie's advice as like bible and i literally followed we did it together and we were like what emoji should we send so we just sent a waving hand no no i can't guys fucking waving hand that's all we sent no chat nothing and then and then like five minutes later we went back to see if it had been open or if it

had been read and it was gone and we were like no no what the hell so then we just sent another one we were drunk at this point you remember i wasn't i was drinking green tea but you were drinking i was knee deep in a bottle of wine i'd like come straight to you after like literally a day after i was single i think it was the night I was single every night after you were single and then we sent it again and then it got deleted again I was mortified

and I was like well I'm never really gonna know if my DM ever got sent I see him on the tube he's a model and I see him on the tube occasionally as in on the posters on the tube and I'm like

ah it's that guy we sent to the DMs so funny and then he actually had a girlfriend throughout the whole thing we started getting with his friend and we never like we should have community all right we're really good divulging into like our deepest darkest secrets yeah we are but because i'm very good at she do i don't know if i don't think you're doing anything wrong just continue how you are

you're for me i would kind of like the attention and then it would get a bit bit annoying it depends how far it would get annoying if jamie got annoyed then i'd be like you're actually ruining me and jamie now fighting because you're trying to kiss me so now you're ruining my actual relationship you know what i mean yes but the problem is her boyfriend doesn't seem to care and i kind of feel like she wants him to so i this is what i would do this is the dark psycho part of me this is just what i would do i'm not necessarily telling you to do this i'm telling you what I would do in your scenario. I would bring the boyfriend along. Hopefully it happens again. Then you can go up to your boyfriend and be like, no, no, he's just done it again.

Like he's actually tried to kiss me. That's a bit of a joke now. Hopefully that then stems something in him. And he goes, no, no, I'm going to have to go and have a word. Yeah. Like something happens within him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a rumble there.

And you're like, yes. Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, oh, they're fighting over me. Yeah, yeah, the best thing. God, the poorble there. And you're like, yes. Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, oh, they're fighting over me. Yeah, yeah, the best thing. God, the poor other girlfriend as well. Like, it's so inappropriate on her. Yeah, that is horrible. It's just dark.

That's horrible for her. I also don't know if he's just winding her up or if he's being serious about the whole come kiss me. Like, if you actually tried to then kiss him, what would happen? Yeah, I know. I almost feel like he's just like a cheeky ex. He's been like, just kind of finds it fun.

And you know, I don't know. It's all a bit strange. But yeah, that's what I would do. I would do like he's just like a cheeky ex. He's been like, just kind of finds it fun. And you know, I don't know. It's all a bit strange. But yeah, that's what I would do. I would try and get the boyfriend along, allow it to happen again. And then, oops, just happened again. He grabbed my arm. I would be like, no, no, it's not actually,

it's, I'd be like, it's kind of making me laugh. But like, he actually genuinely just tries to do it again, even though you're here. Like, it's really disrespectful. Yeah, yeah, Jamie would have a laugh. And then he has no choice but to go and say something at this point otherwise he's otherwise he's weak and he's not standing up for you or your relationship yeah otherwise he doesn't give a shit maybe the ex is like a bit lame he's like oh god no competition yeah yeah maybe that's the case also

yeah or just look at it like this your boyfriend's obviously just like so chill and relaxed he's like horizontal yeah quite a nice quite so attractive you really don't want them to be but also you you really fancy them for that yeah but yeah i would definitely do womanister so that's our advice do we have anything else to add to the end of our podcast this week like new year's eve i think guys don't overthink it i feel like some people get a bit sad if you're single you know just don't overthink it i feel like some people get a bit sad if you're single you know just don't overthink it 2023 it's going to be your fucking year yeah we're all in it together we're are we tiny whinies or are we little grapes i think tiny one is actually a girl coming

up to me the other day she's like i'm a tiny yes they're so cute okay look we're tiny whinies together we're gonna have a wicked year next year we love you we hope you've enjoyed this year yeah and next year is going to be your year and you can make it be whatever you want it and we're all in it together and we're gonna be with you every step of the way every step of the way but have a stunning new year's eve yeah have fun no matter what you do bye guys love you fanduel casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m with your chance at the number one We'll be right back. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But, God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas.

I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio