Wednesdays - 93. Ally & G on Love Island Secrets, Friendship Soulmates & Jamie’s Secret Twin

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Heyyy Tinies!Have we got a TREAT for you!! Presenters, podcasters and professional yappers, Ally & G from the iconic Leave A Message podcast join us for the ultimate girlie catch up. We chat friendship soulmates, boyfriends who want their privacy (lol ok) and what happened when Ally & G visited the actual Love Island villa.Plus, Sophie is shook when she realises G is basically Jamie’s twin. Once you see it, you really can’t unsee it.We also get deep with this week’s dilemmas. One Tiny is wondering if she’s actually ever enjoyed sex. We talk about reclaiming pleasure and not just performing. And, we tackle the big grooming emergency of our time. The bad boyfriend moustache. To shave or not to shave… We’ve got thoughts girls.You can follow Ally & G on:YouTube: @allyandg⁩TikTok: @allyandgInstagram: @allyandgEnjoy the episode xGot a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail]--Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail]--Credits:Executive Producer: @jemimarathboneProducer: Helen BurkeEditor: Kat MilsomAssistant Producer: Emily D'SouzaVideo Editor: @lizziemccarthySocial: Anthony Barter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts at anything. In fact, we just challenge all our shit. We love giving you guys advice, but as we said- We love giving you guys advice.

Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Guys, we have a really exciting episode. We have Ali and G on. You might recognize them from TikTok. They're huge over there. They're podcasts, Leave A Message, and Instagram, of course. Yeah, it's just a really fun chat. We deep dive into dilemmas. We talk about the fact that you've just come out the Love Island Villa. G thinks she looks like Jamie, and they also have a very wild, hilarious, scary dilemma about a kidney. It's a great episode. So this is Ali and G. Can you tell the listeners a little bit about yourselves?

Yes, we can. Al always leads on this one, go on, though. OK, so what to know? Well, we met actually later in life. And we always say that we are testament to the fact that you can like meet your people. You don't have to, like, you know, know them forever. We met at Community Radio Station and we just started making content together. And now we have a YouTube series. We have a podcast. We make TikToks. We make it, I mean we're slogging our guts out out here.

The content is contenting, it really is. The content is slog isn't it? You can ponder estimate. They do. And everyone's like do you plan it? We're like yeah. So do you not at all? No babe, we just fly by the seat of our pants.

Raw dog. Raw dog actually honestly should be in our bio, I'm not joking, that's how we live our life. We also met later on in life I would say. Ish. Well I was 23. Raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog, raw dog us. No, shut up. Who's October and who's? Dindra. Me too. Me too. Oh my god. Oh, you're a Saji. We love. When's your birthday?

19th of October. Oh my god, so close. When's yours? 22nd. Oh my god, that's bonkers. Oh my god. Sorry, you are twin flames or whatever you call that. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Nice. Satya, I'm a cap. Oh my god, you're right near New Year's Eve. No, no, it's hell babe. It's really, it's hell and horror. Oh no, we can do a second birthday. Halfway through like July or something.

Just whack one in there. I also kind of think it's good because everyone's like vibing, everyone's up for it. No babe, no one's vibing. I've not had one vibe on my birthday ever in 29 years. Oh babe. I'm not bothered. I don't know. I'm bothered for you.

I know everyone's bothered, guys don't worry, I'm over it. I really do. Are you that whole like, we've merged your birthday and Christmas presents into one? Oh I just want two separate presents that are equally as amazing. Agree. But now you've got into this new habit of going to the Maldives so I feel like we don't feel that sorry for you. That's not amazing sorry.

Wait with who? My family. You've just wangled them all we must go on holiday to the Maldives every year to celebrate my birthday. Yeah. Because of me. I'm obsessed. Are you joking?

Not you saying no honestly. It's such a tough life. My whole family take me to the Maldives. I did just have to out her there because I thought, doesn't add up, does it? It's a lovely birthday. Don't you guys always think that's beauty there being two of you? You can never get away with just saying something and having people feel sorry for you. No, sorry I took that away from you.

Because they'll be there and be like, no, no. Yeah. Wait, so tell me your guys dynamic like who are you like are you both single? No so we couldn't be more opposite in that sense I'm very single I don't know what that means. What does that mean? I think it means that I'm not even like really trying to not be at the moment yeah and Al and her boyfriend have been together for nearly nine years. No, just gone eight, just gone eight. Shut up. Yeah, eight years.

Wow. Shut up, so what are you just saying? I was 20 when we met. In the beginning, when we first started doing this, was like, oh my God, I think it was that bit thing of like, oh, this is so unknown and it's freaking me out. Everyone's gonna know who I am. And I was like, they're not.

Also Al kept talking about not wanting to shag him and stuff. So I and stuff so I think no because I why I need to talk to you about this because I will hold the flag for the girls that just kind of the ass just think I'd rather watch secret lives of more than one me too and be a mormon wife yeah literally um Anyway, then he kind of got used to it. Now people even on the tube will recognize him. He'll come home and be like, somebody who I was today. And I'm like, I thought you were entitled to your private life.

He was like, yeah, they know who I was. He's obsessed. He's a golden retriever rule. Can you get on with him very well? Yeah. Because that would have been an issue. Imagine. Because there's a throuple going on essentially.

When we first, when Al and I were first like making our friendship, you know, making our friendship, as in we weren't doing content or anything, we were just being friends, normal friends. I did have a boyfriend. So I think when I broke up with my ex, I think it was quite a like shock to roll that I was suddenly like just there. Like, just not leaving. The guy had nowhere else to be and I just really did thrust myself upon him so he didn't really have a choice. No but he really loves her. Like really. That's important. We also look really alike. Shut up. I'm sure they've got the type. You've got a type. Yes. So when you guys fast-met, you just became friends working at the radio?

Yeah, babe. We worked at this community radio. Shout out Riverside because we wouldn't have anything without that time in our lives. But we initially did shows with different people and then Al needed a stand-in for her show and I was like, I'll do it. And weirdly, both of us got a text from our mums being like, you guys have great chemistry. And then we just kind of like started building a friendship around this like sad little studio where it was like early.

It was like six in the morning and we were like, you know, on the radio to four people and we were like, oh, there's gotta be more to life than this. It sounds like us and our first experience. Yeah, passion project. Yeah, pretty much. That's how they start. Literally, and then what everyone we spoke to was like,

what are you making yourselves? And we were like, nothing. And we were like, we can't do it alone. So we started doing it together. And I remember we did our like pilot of our first YouTube series and we sent it to Al's mom. And she was like, you both look like shit. Would you not try and look better? My mom is sad. Oh, sorry. We were like, oh yeah, maybe we will.

But thank God for her because now, you know, we will show up. But no, I really like, but I really do like this sounds, I don't know, like sounds wooey, but I really do believe that we were destined to meet because like the circumstances under which we met were so random and like we are so aligned on our vision. We call like our tagline is if Ant and Dec had tits and like to be Ant and Dec you have to be in. I don't think people talk about it a lot with like female friendships, but you know when you meet someone you're like, you don't fancy them, but you're like, Oh, we're going to be like, she's the one.

But you know what was funny because we actually, we've never actually spoken about this, but our first scene together, because it was on me and Chelsea. I like technically wasn't meant to like you because the girl I was filming with was sort of like fucking a bit about with your boyfriend. And like I was sort of meant to be like, not like you, but I was like, just really love her. She's just a vibe. But that is how it works. Like you just get them and you're like, oh my gosh, I love her. Yeah.

Yeah. She'll be my friend. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I just slid in right into the DM. Yeah, she did. Yeah. If you were like me, I slid into classic Libras.

We're just like, hi. Wanna flirt? You know when you've got a new friend and you're like, right, we've gotta like really chat throughout this whole dinner or something. Whereas like with an older friend, you're like, I don't fucking care if we don't speak. I'm in a shit mood.

Like just be okay with me not talking. We really got into that for like the day one. I felt like we were silent from day one. You know why also, cause we had like away trips together. So we'd go and then like have to like live together for a few weeks at a time. And then that just like broke past that barrier. Yeah.

It was good. Cause there's nothing whilst when you're like, I really love this person, but I've got two hours to dinner and I'm going to have to interview them. Cause like I can't bear the silence. Yeah. And then it feels like a date and it's just weird. And then you're in your head and then you think

that was exhausting. And then you leave and you're like, why didn't they ask me any questions? Because I just spoke, I just literally interviewed them. I think, oh my god, Orick. But you don't want to know anything about my life. I do feel like that way sometimes too. But you know what I think it is and I feel like we're giving similar answers, I think we just get in there first is the question.

Yeah. Fill the gap, like wedge yourself in. And they're like gasping for air. Yeah, they're desperate. I've built a million questions. We always say we're like a nine to 10 on the Richter scale. That's like, oh, we're like, we're going to make you like rumble. Yeah. You'll know if we were there.

Been in the room. We've gone off. Yeah. Would you say you're extroverts? Like the more people you're around, you feed off of and you get bad at all after this. Are you going to be like, right, need to cool down, need to like not speak to anybody for a few hours. It's funny because like some, I honestly think I'm half half because some, it really depends on like the circumstance and the people. I don't, you know, no defamation to like anyone.

Al struggles to tell her face when she's like trying to conceal an emotion. If I'm bored. Oh, my God. You'll my God, there is no hiding it. Right. Yeah. But what's the face? Is it bored? Are you just like looking at it? It's this. Okay, right. No, I think, listen, I do think like as you guys probably know, this job is like, when you talk for a living, talking for fun is also really draining. Like going and having dinner and like talking to your friends and, you know, like being that version of yourself that you are every day when the cameras are on or like when you're at work or when you're doing this, like it's so hard to recharge your battery, I guess, every time. And so

it's like a fine balance, I think. I agree. You must have that. I don't know how you're on radio. I'm lucky I've just got Wednesdays and I'm chatting to you so it feels so easy for me. But I'm like, God, you've got radio on Wednesdays and newlyweds.

I was actually saying like on a Thursday, because I do radio Mondays, she's doing it now. On a Thursday, I'm like, my sister called me, she's like, are you okay? And I was like, I just, I can't talk. She's like, I want to do a silent retreat on a Thursday. Like, I don't want to open it. If I've had a whole day on my own, I have to like say my something out loud on my phone, just to make sure that my voice is still there. Yeah. I'm so with you. That's like people that live alone and work from home.

No, no, no. I know. But I do think, can I just say something? I actually think, look, don't come at me, everyone. But I, because this is not me and I've never done this, but obviously Covid started, everyone started working from home. I do think people became slightly socially inept. And then in social situations, I noticed people used to be very social, being a bit like jittery and weird. And I was like, what's going on here? And it's because they're all alone all day and they're not realizing.

Yeah. And it's not, and also you can kind of get away for it maybe because you think you're talking to people on like teams and stuff, but it's not the same. And then yeah, you get into a bar and it's like overstimulated. That's like me half the time anyway. If you talk to me in a bar, I am looking over that. I'm like, I'm not one word you've said has gone into my head. It's just too hard for me. Even if the person you're talking to you're really interested in if there's a conversation behind me I'm listening to that and I'm like I don't know what you're talking about. Like that's why dinner parties are slightly

anxiety-provoking for unless you're drunk you can zone in. I kind of agree but no even if I've had a drink I still struggle and then I'm embarrassed because they've asked me a question I'm like hmm sorry sorry, can you say that last bit again? That's good though, because you know, what do you do? Al carries on as if she's heard and I'm sitting there witnessing the thing and I'm thinking she's not heard at all what they've said because she's answering the wrong question. And sometimes I let her do it, to be honest. Often that happens.

I'm like, get it wrong then sis, it's funny. And then like she'll get like to the halfway through the sentence and she'll realize that she's not my- But I'm actually sober. I've got worse in my old age. I know. I really have. I just- I think it gets worse as you get older. I'm so much worse now.

So wait, guys, podcasts, how long have you been doing your podcasts for? Only over a year, right? Yeah. Just like me. Yeah. And you read dilemmas? Well, we don't read them. People, gannies voice note them.

Yeah. Their actual voices. Wait, galleys voice note them. Yeah. Their actual voices. Wait, that's exposing their sort of identity. No, no, no. They're so brave. They're like, we call them the galleys because G and Ali. They're just so brave and amazing and like so funny and crazy. Wait, what's the weirdest dilemma we've ever had? Oh, I have so many. I need to have an example because I need to like test our waters. So basically, this girl-

You're going to say about the kidney? Yes. Everyone doesn't believe me, but this is, I know that this is real. I just know. This girl, she's on a night out in, I think she was in Bangkok. She was traveling in Thailand, yeah. And she goes home with a guy and like wakes up in the morning and has no memory and he's gone and she's got this like searing pain in her back.

So she goes to the bathroom and she sees like this huge stitch in her back. She goes to the hospital they said you've had a kidney removed and it's a perfect job. I've heard about this happening, he removed the kidney. And he must have been a surgeon because they said it was a perfect job. We looked it up 180 grand for a kidney you can have mine. Don't worry guys, I've got two. I don't need one. You know they do this in Turkey, people that go in for a boob job and they leave with their kidneys. No they leave with no nipples. Aren't they selling nipples?

Or is that a lie? Yeah they're selling nipples to then put them on other people's boobs who want a different nipple because you can't get nipple surgery. Oh do you know what, I wouldn't be at risk. No one would want my nipples. No would want mine after being pregnant, let me tell you. Do you know what the craziest thing? We've also had a lot of the long lost families. Oh my god, so many dads with secret, whole siblings and families, or mums having crazy second lives. This girl's mum went to hospital to have chemo, and her dad had an affair with the mother's with her with the mum's sister basically so bad and then they had a baby together while the mom was in hospital having chemo no people

have fucked up no no this is what i've mainly learned oh we honestly don't know advice to give it's never advice i suppose it's just you know observation yeah yeah but like people it's the cheating that really I will never unlike because I like, because we hear their voices. I love them so much. Sometimes they like are crying in these voices. And I just think like the cheating and the ghosting will honestly send me like, I want to go to every single fuckers house. And I just want to say, no, not allowed illegal. I hate ghosting. I would rather someone looked me in the face. I had a zombie. What's that?

They come back from the dead, you see. Yeah. They become the ghost. You never hear from them. You think it's all over. And then they resurface. Because they've been mincing with somebody else. That hasn't worked out. They've gone so wrong. They come back for a bit more of that. How does one act when someone is a zombie? Oh, I just say, no, thank you, sir. I would just, I would just reply and be like ship sailed, but thanks for the message. I do think like it's too easy to ghost. I agree. It's too socially acceptable. It's so socially acceptable.

And I think there probably is a stage in dating where you can get away with it. And it's probably kind of like a feeling protection thing. Like I think you could protect someone by ghosting them. But at the same time, I just think just say guys, let's talk about love Island. Oh my God. Well, we actually just got back from the villa. What? Yeah. And also rudely, not because they wanted us to be bombshells, which was like low key offensive. But now we're way too old. I know. You've got a boyfriend. Sorry. Oh yeah, sorry. That's the problem, not the fact that we're too old. Honestly, your barrier to entry is never raw. It's hilarious. It's always just like, I'm too old.

Because the goal would be like, do it. I'll film you on the TV. Background, why are we on Love Island? So weirdly, ITV, God love them. They're brilliant people, the team ITV. They just like to take some like good time content creators to the villa and they threw us in with journalists. So the journalists were going anyway to do like press on the new villa and all of this stuff. And they were like, let the contenters in. So wait, did we interview them or did we tick off? No, no, it was before anyone was in there. It was just Maya showed us around.

We've got a video with Maya Jammer. What can we say? Talk us through the whole situation. The main thing to know about the Love Island Villa is that the beds are closer together than this. Are closer than this. When they say, I heard them doing bits, they heard them doing bits in the bed next door. Listen, Love Island, you have one plan. We went to Beyonce and before I know it, I've missed two episodes and I'm like, what the

f**k? I know. It's a commitment every night. And then I'm also like, I'm normally going up to bed at 9.30 but I've got to stay up till 10. I know. What's like your dream event to get invited to? GQ man of the year. Oh yes. Surely we could wangle that the four of us somehow. Surely we could pull some fucking strings. Surely we are doing the carpet. Like can't we? Surely to melt the moment. I'm handing out my number. People will like that content, I think.

Absolutely. I'd like to go to the Met Gala just to honestly stand there and watch. I would happily stand there with the paps, like, behind the thing. Oh, me too, behind the barrier. Yes. Surely, could you also get that, to stand in the pap area? Melissa, I love your delusion. It's brilliant.

You and me are like, in the pap area. It's the thought of quads to be in there. Do you know what I mean? Why would they not want us? Let them reflect in. Yeah, let them reflect in. It's obvious to me. We could just go with our iPhones, do a little tip-tap. Exactly. I know, pretend we were there. I just think, what's to be in there? Do you know what I mean? Why would they not want us? Yeah, let them reflect.

It's obvious to me. We could just go with our iPhones, do a little tip-tap. I know, pretend we were there. No one would have to know. They'd be like, where were the dresses? So aloof. Didn't even post photos of themselves. Designers didn't want anyone to see it so bad.

That was the style. Yes. It was camouflage. Invisible. It was happening. You in an invisibility cloak, like, can you see me? No. Just pointing arrow next Kim Kardashian, I was camouflage. You in an invisibility cloak like, can you see me? No. She's pointing an arrow next to Kim Kardashian.

I was there. What's going on then with Kylie? Kylie Minogue or Jenner? I never know now. What's up in there? Kylie Minogue! Sorry! Only because I know that's so ancient of me, but she's having a little...

She looks like Kylie Minogue. She had a comeback actually, babe. She looks like everyone. I have got like a de-mental face I don't know what's wrong with me. Everywhere we go. Oh my god, she said she looked like Jamie to me. No. The amount of comments, do you know they say to me, the girls guys if you don't know about this, our followers on TikTok will honestly double-take videos and they'll comment and they'll be like I thought that was Jamie Lang. Babe, one of the comments

about the two of us was I'm going to tell my... I kind of think you look like his man. Oh my god, you do. And she looks really like him. And also he looks like... We both being verified in the worst way. But you also really look like Kylie Minogue. I look like...

I think I might have... What's that guy, Dorian Gray, you know? Oh, yeah, but like I'm travel time Hillary white look like I also see that It's just very few outs because this is Comments was um, I'm gonna tell my kids. This is Jamie Yeah, yeah No, and it gives an energy I'm going to tell my kids this is Jamie Lang and Sophie Abu. Yeah, yeah.

I know. And it gives the same energy. I can't tell you how many. Honestly, I'd say thousands of comments like that. Are you joking? I don't see it like to look at. I wouldn't notice. It's only because I know what Penny looks like.

I don't think you look like my husband. Guys, you heard it here first. I think you look like my husband. Guys, you heard it here first. I think you look like a younger version of his mum maybe, but also Kylie Minogue. You've got a very adaptable face. I have. People will come up to me and they'll be like, God, oh my God, we've met. And I'll be like, no, we haven't met. Yeah, it's all the time.

I'm now looking at you and I see someone else and it's on the big screen. Oh my God. Madeleine Argyle. Sometimes she gets. Oh my God, now I see it like any face she's seen. I can see it. Anne Marie I had for years. Oh my god, I feel like people were like, and I used to have pink hair so people were just really like, Anne Marie?

No, you really did. And I was like, yeah. Oh, I know. Sorry, how did we get onto that? I don't even know where that came from. We were talking about Kylie Jenner. Oh, sorry. So basically we're talking about Kylie Jenner because she's the only one who's ever had

a pink hair. And I was like, yeah. Oh, I know. Sorry, how did we get onto that? I don't even know where that came from. We were talking about Kylie Jenner. Oh, sorry. So basically we're talking about Kylie Jenner because she has just recently dropped her boob job surgeon and the CC, the cup, the underlay, everything. The positioning. Kris Jenner then followed by saying who did her first facelift. 17 years ago.

17 years ago. Garth Fisher it is. Yeah, which I'm like, are you confirming he did the recent one? Because that's the one we all want to know recent one? No, no, it's a different guy. His name's Simon, I think. The recent facelift was done by someone that's a bit under-racked. But we don't know who he is. He's up and coming in the facelift community. He's obviously not up and coming though. She was obviously like 45 when she had her first facelift, but Kylie's had her facelift already. Do we actually think that's real? I always am so blown away by these assumptions. Look guys, mark my words.

How are you doing it so that the eyes are also open and done and the skin is not taut and a bit mottled? I don't understand why that just went so well. I genuinely believe her facelift is a work of art. I'm not even joking. She had a new face. Hang it in the mood. She moved the muscle too.

Yeah, apparently all the muscles had been moved up. And what has Kim done and then undone? Yes. Because I'm also fascinated by that. Like I feel like- You know what I also don't understand? The bums that they all have. Do you remember they all had these scans years ago on the Kardashians to prove they didn't have implants? To prove that they didn't have the implants. So then what's there?

I'll tell you what that is. That is whenever they put on weight, they get the fat taken out and put into the bum. Yeah. That's like a really big deal. Lipos the fat taken out and put into the bum. Yeah. That's like a really big deal. Lipo's like a really big deal. A huge deal. And a huge recovery. Well also, it's really dangerous. Yeah. People die.

A lot of people, yeah. Because they're always in the public eye. So like, where is the downtime? Where is the downtime? Kylie's out every single day with Timothy Shahnamey. Do you know what it means? Looking different. And also she's so young. I know.

I know. It's freaky. I know. I know, it's freaky. I know, it's freaky. I know, it's freaky. Right guys, we've got some dilemmas. Right guys, we've got some dilemmas. We're gonna read some out, all of us. I'll go first.

Hey girls, I had a bit of a light bulb moment recently and now I can't stop thinking about it. I'm not in a relationship and have been having quite a lot of casual sets, go on girl. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s.

I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my 20s I'm not in a relationship and have been having quite a lot of casual sets. Go on girl. I thought I loved it and was being wild and free in my twenties. However, I realized I've been having sex like I'm performing. The worst.

Oh wow. I hate to hear it. Not for myself, but like I'm acting in a porn scene, doing all the moans, positions, back arches, whatever. What's a back arch? Like doggy. Like, ah. What, on the front? On the back? Yeah, like you're kind of like,

you're like, ah, like it's so good, I can't even keep my spine straight. But it's just also, that's not real. Exactly, well that's what she's saying, she's performing. I thought I was good at sex, but now I'm wondering if I've ever actually enjoyed it. Oh no. Awful realization to come to.

That's awful. It's like I've been focused on looking sexy rather than feeling good. I don't know how to switch that off. I want sex to feel intimate and real, not like a performance for someone else's pleasure. Have you ever felt like this? How do I stop focusing on looking good and reconnect with what I actually want in bed? I'm a bit embarrassed at my performance having listened to that. I don't think I've ever done a back up. Oh, this is probably extremely common, I'd have thought, for especially younger women. I think, and this is not what she's going to want to hear, and I'm sorry to say it,

I didn't know that that comes with casual sex. I was going to say, if you're having sex with somebody that you really love, I don't think that that would be a thing because you build up an intimacy and a connection and a different thing. And a candidness. You can just be a thing because you build up an intimacy and a connection and a different thing. And a candidness, like you can just be like a bit more like silly and messy. Experimental. Experimental and yeah. But with like strangers, it is all a bit performative everywhere because you're like tiptoeing around each other and like sex actually if you take it out of like

a dimly lit room is so weird. So to do it with a stranger, you do perform a bit because of course, but you could if you wanted to like really challenge yourself I guess just go in with some clear communication at the start. Just be a princess, there's nothing fucking wrong with it. Lie back, don't lie back. Are you having a better time doing that than performing because like you're not really gonna come on the first time that you're having sex with a stranger lying there so like you may as well have some fun with it and act like a porn star. Why not? If that is floating your boat. But if you're then overthinking that I think I would just try a few times to relax.

Let's put in a stint, let's go on top for a little bit, arch the back for a smidge, get that performance out of the way and then just lie back. Yes, lie back and think of England. Just like really sink into the feeling and not the, you know... Can't she get like a toy and just like then she knows she's gonna have a good time? Oh my god, that is the main like sadness of being a single woman. Because like what you meant to do on like a one-night stand, whip out your vibrator from your purse. It's difficult, isn't it? I don't let them in my bed either so I wouldn't have it like... So where do you do it on the sofa?

No, I would go to their house. But then I'd have to take my vibrator with me. And that's quite presumptuous, isn't it? On the day... I wonder what a boy would think about. I would be quite upset about a boy. I would love to know what a boy would do in that instance. I feel like, don't worry, it just makes it better.

No, but they take it so offensively. I know. I just say, oh, boring. It's not my fault that you don't know what you're doing. Do you know what I mean? Well, also, it's not my fault that you don't know what you're doing. Do you know what I mean? Well, also, it's not my fault that you don't vibrate. Don't worry. You just have to compete again.

Exactly. Exactly. Do you want me to put a battery in you? You don't, you know. It's so true. It's not a setting you have. Don't worry. I think you have to just be like, you have to be...

Give directions. Yeah, you have to feel safe to have autonomy and to be like, I've got a bit of a horse in this race, so I'm going to tell you what feels good. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's just hard. I think basically what we're saying is that I think this is so common and so many girls

feel this way, particularly when you're not in a long standing relationship. It just is the nature of the beast. So don't beat yourself up too much about it, but be a pillow princess or just do whatever you want to do. Let them put the fucking shift in performance. yourself up too much about it, but like be a pillow princess or just do whatever you want to do. Let them put the fucking shift in performance. And don't be worried about like, I think there's so much pressure, like sometimes with like goal orientated sex that you like need to come. And I just think like maybe if you just

like let that go and accept that they need to let that go too, because you're not going to put that pressure on yourself and you're not going to fake any of your feelings, you're not going to moan and groan, then it might feel like a like sweet release and then the pressure might help. So goal-orientated sex. Yeah. That's phenomenal. I listen to a lot of Oscar Perel.

I know. I need to listen to that. That's amazing. Because it's like so often. So sometimes the guys get a bit like, have you come yet? And sometimes you're just like, yeah, just fucking yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

That's where the whole thing of like faking all that comes in and that whole thing that you want to avoid. And if we take away, if we just enjoy the journey, not the destination, we'll all have a better time. How profound. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And that's where the whole thing of faking orgasms comes in and that whole thing that you want to avoid. And if we take away, if we just enjoy the journey, not the destination, we'll all have a better time.

How profound. Sorry. Thank you. So profound. Thank you. Do you want to see it every week? I think we should get you in every week. To a single sex perv.

I've been with my boyfriend since school and last year he moved into a flat with two of his friends, one guy and one girl, let's call her Rachel. Before they lived together I got on really well with Rachel but since they moved in everything's changed. She always makes jokes about me in front of my boyfriend and she insists on making him dinner at least twice a week which I think is really weird, I agree. So weird. I've been trying to play it cool and pretend it's not bothering me. But then the other night we were all watching TV and my boyfriend mentioned something Rachel had just put on

her close friend's story. I went to have a look, but I couldn't find it on my Instagram. Turned out Rachel had blocked me on Instagram because she had been posting stories of herself wearing my boyfriend's jumpers and she didn't want me to see them. So I'm really reading fast now. My boyfriend thinks I'm being dramatic but I think this has gone way too far. I think you should say something to her but he's refusing. Am I being a drama queen or is this a massive red flag? No, no. Oh my god I think they're having an affair. She's in love I think there's something going on.

Wait was the boy able to see her in the jumpers? Surely because he was on the close friend list. No guys they're having an affair. They must be. There's something going on. I'm really upset for you and I can't bear that girl Rachel. No, Rachel is bad news. That needs a big fat boundary. But also my main issue is with him.

Why are you not saying it? Why are you letting her wear your fucking jumpers? And why are you loving attention? Why are you eating dinner with her two times a week and why when she's taking the piss out of me are you laughing? No, that. No, no, no. He should be like, she's a bit of a bitch, she. Yeah. And if of me you laughing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no one girl. Oh, sorry, they live together. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, it's even worse than I thought. The boyfriend and Rachel live together. And were friends, nothing to do with the girlfriend.

Nothing to do with the girlfriend. Sounds like a flat share. Okay, well. So she moved into this flat with his friend Rachel and one other guy and Rachel is the girl posting the pictures. Okay, okay, okay. Wait, hold on. And then the girlfriend comes over now and again.

Yes, yes. I think less bad. I think more bad. Are you agreeing? No, I think more bad. No, I think less bad. I agree. I think more bad. No, I think less bad because I'm like clearly Rachel and the boy are friends and live together and obviously she's going to be on the close friends and she's not going to put the girlfriend because she's not friends with the girlfriend. No, but no, no, no.

The close friends is bizarre. But is she blocked or are you just assuming that you're not on the close friends? Rachel has blocked me on Instagram, but I don't know if that's... I think you're not on her close friends, but I think that is... Just don't post in my boyfriend's channel, but that's a fucking... Yeah, it's just a bit shady. Babe, sorry that we went straight to a fair. We'll just reel it back.

We'll just reel that back. But let me tell you, I think the dinner they're having twice a week isn't that shady if they live together like, well... Yeah, like, what can you do? No, I agree. It's this whole thing about... There's a big debate. There's a big debate, can a boy and a girl ever just be friends? Yeah, I agree. Normally and don't

wear their jumpers and block the girl from Instagram. Yeah, I think maybe got a little bit of a like, but wait wearing a boy jumper. I always wear Jamie's best friends boy jumper and now I'm feeling really awkward. But you put a picture of that on your Instagram story and not let Jamie see that. No, Jamie takes photos. Jamie, I'm walking around in it wearing it. I think it's the lack of transparency. It's so shady and secretive. It's like, if you're friends, just be friends then and don't be secretive and weird and put it on your close friends. Also, don't put a video. Why are you taking photos of it? I'm just wearing it because it's a big cozy jumper and I stole it. Like I was still yours. You know I was still yours.

it's a big cozy jumper. Exactly. Like I was still yours. You know, I was still yours. Like it's not. Yeah. It's just a really hard thing to communicate because you also don't want to sound like you're, I don't know, like blaming your boyfriend for having a friend. Do you know what I mean? Well, I think you could just lead with when she takes the piss out of me and I find it helpful and you laugh. That's a quick fix. That's like, yeah, just micro bullying. Like, yeah, I don't like that. You've got a gut fix. That's like, just micro-billying. Yeah, I don't like that. You've got a gut feeling that something's going on. Do you know what I mean? Like when you get a gut feeling about something

and you're like, right, there's this one thing she's taking a piss out of me all the time, which feels beyond like a friendly joke. It's like a nasty little dig. Also don't ignore your intuition. I agree. And now the jumper and now the blocking. I'm like, there's just too many factors.

Would you look on his phone? Question, yeah The dinners at the house I would wait till the second he's in the shower I would get my jumper over and I slide it off and I would run into a bathroom Lock the door and I would She's done this before The problem is is they live together so they might not be even interested

You know what you need to do? You need to leave the headframe What is they live together. So they might not be even treated. But you know what you need to do, you need to leave the headphone. What is it, that head trick? The headphone. With the airport. And then you can like listen to the other one. Listen to the whole fucking conversation. You put the airport.

Yes. I've heard about this. This is for serious. You put it in the same, one in the same room as them. You turn whatever it is on, listening or whatever it is. The listening aid. The ear. And it's actually the microphone.

Yeah. Shut. And then you have the other one in the other room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But how is she gonna do it if they don't live together? She's just gonna have to wait outside. She's gonna have to be in the hedge.

Like it's gonna have to be a serious operation. They're gonna have to go full spike of kids on this. But I think it'll be quite fun. I think you should go for that. Just figure out what's going on. I would do some deep dive detective work. I might do some digging. Yeah, I would figure it out.

Cause like if they've been like, what time are you coming home tonight? Or like, do you want this? Like, you know, you sniff a a rat I feel sick for you I'm really so sorry oh babe it's not nice even if there's nothing going on it's just like a horrible dynamic to be in. Also to be going over to see your boyfriend you're like fuck she's gonna be there like it's like make sure you like a bit anxious I don't know hey you fucking hate me that's my worst bit about the whole thing you know what you need to do you need to get

this like energy about you that you're the sexiest fucking thing since sliced bread and she needs to be intimidated by you and just nag her back. Just be like, someone's a bit naggy today. What's that about? Or something, just be like, me how? Yes.

Make her feel a little bit insecure. Yeah. Oops. Sorry, not sorry. We're so toxic with our advice, back. We're literally like- And also we're all toxic together, so it's getting worse. It's brilliant. Okay, ready for dilemma number three? Ready.

S.O.S. girls, please help. My boyfriend has recently decided he's going to grow a moustache. Sorry. Oh dear. This is serious. The issue is he's not a hairy man decided he's going to grow a mustache. Sorry. This is serious. The issue is he's not a hairy man and he's blonde. So you can barely see it. I tried to be nice when I first saw it mostly because I assumed he'd get bored and shave it off. But it's been weeks now. He's committed and it's not going anywhere. I've tried dropping hints and making jokes, but he just laughs it off or says, I'm being shallow. I don't even want to kiss him anymore.

It just feels like kissing weird pubes on his face. Ha ha, sorry. Which is actually the strangest bit about it because he shaves down there, but not up top. How can I get him to shave it off or am I being really mean? Oh, it's just like if you wanted to keep your vagina hair long and they'd be like, I'm not going to go down on you. If my boyfriend tries to tell me about my body hair, I would be irked.

Did you just call it body fur? My body fur. Love it, my body fur. I know. It's just difficult. The thing is, look, when you reach a certain point in the relationship, like Jamie was like, whoa, you're bush. I'd be like, yeah, I know. Like, I'm not, but like early on I'd be like, oh

my God, like it would crush me. You probably be like, yeah, I fucking know it because you've been together for so long. I would say, but there is a level. I would say you're not allowed back in that house with that mustache. So do with it what you will. But you would say that. I would. You could just encourage him to grow the hair on the rest of his face. I agree. I was going to say, I love a stubble. Digging the tash, but we must get some hair to match because it's too much of a contrast and it's making your face look unflattering.

I don't mind a beard. I love a beard. I love a beard. I think it's best saying. When I say beard, I don't want it to be too long. No, it needs to be full. Like a good stubble vibe, like a thickish stubble. Sexy.

I actually don't like a clean shaven. Nor me. We don't want, she's not shuddering. I don't know what it is. Me too. I know it's quite like dad vibes when I was growing up. But sometimes for work they have to.

Oh listen, if it's for work. We understand. Listen, if I actually think about it too much, it is fucking wild that men have hair on their face. What the fuck? Isn't it such an effort? Every day they have to shave it. Wow. And look, you know what I mean? If you're not, if you're not getting a full beard, It's fucking wild that men have hair on their face. What the fuck? Isn't it such an effort? Every day they have to shave it.

Wow. And look, you know what I mean? If you're not getting a full beard, there's nothing. You have to shave every day. The in-between is really awkward. Yeah. The bum fluff stage is like, no. That's when they get like a patch here and a patch there.

Oh no. And then a bald patch there, no. No. I would go down the route of like, I love a bit of stubble. I love a bit. I think it's the fittest thing ever. I would just ram it down his throat and then I would just say, yeah, yeah,

please can we try the beard? Without insulting the dash. That's what it is, isn't it? It's like you can't be insulting it and maybe you need to understand why he's so attached to it. Yeah, but that's when he's trying a bit of a new identity. Exactly. Like he's trying to mix it up.

It's like when we change our hair color and it looks awful, but they're supportive. And that's all they can do is grow attached to it. Well like when I had that French bob. Yeah, it's true. I wanna see a picture. I think I'd look nice in it. Oh, that's sweet babe, but it was short. It was short?

Like past my earlobe, like up here. I must see a picture. No, and guys, she came up. I said, say nothing. It was like flea black. I was like, if you tell me about my hair, I will. And I was like, well, you with her face. No, no, I really, I think it's really nice. I'm so desperate for you. It's coming. Don't worry. And the fringe was like here. A micro fringe. Yeah. It's quite a look to pull that shit off, I actually will say.

I think you would. You know what, I would encourage him to do it for Movember, be like, I think we stick to a certain time of the year for charity. Yes. And then we'd be gone with it. I'm with you. Yeah. I think we've all come to a general consensus,

but let us know, send us a photo of the tash because I'm desperate to see. Absolutely. Yeah, blonde tash. Because we might be like that sleigh, like you're really missing a thing here. You never know. You never know. Guys, that's the end of the podcast. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you so much for playing.

Thanks for having us. Where do we, for the listeners, where do they find you? Instagram tags, we'll obviously leave it all in the description, but just another little flash of it. Okay, it's Matt, Ali and G on all all socials and the pod is called Leave a Message anywhere you get your podcasts. Very good. I think that's a good one.

Round of applause. Thank you guys so much. We're so proud of you. Thank you so much. That's it for this week Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens.

Well then, Tynies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad-free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app. How cool is that? Amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.