Wednesdays - Ep 15: Should you watch porn when you’re in a relationship? - ft. Jamie Laing

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

Hey Gang,Soph’s boyfriend Jamie joins us on the podcast this week to answer your BOY DILEMMAS. Jamie is here to shed light on the male species… Are boys emotionally unavailable and why is he keeping his exes socks in the drawer?!This week we are drinking a delicious white wine called Minaia Gavi! https://www.vivino.com/GB/en/nicola-bergaglio-minaia-gavi-del-comune-di-gavi-rovereto/w/2405667Our ratings:Sophie: 7.5Melissa: 7Jamie: an 8!!Hope you enjoy,Love,S & M xSocials - @wednesdayswedrinkwineEmail - [e-mail] Productions Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Cheers, my dear. Cheers. I bought the most dear, like delight do you ever get that when you try and say something like delicious delightful when you say like disgusting you try and like mish all the words together it comes out wrong i've just noticed it says it has my mum's name in the bottle nicola okay so guys this is minar it look it looks like it's like a really vintage wine it was quite expensive i saw gabby and i was like i can't remember i think it was like 18 pounds 23 maybe yeah yeah yeah we like the expensive stuff

don't we expensive taste we have i will say that this doesn't taste that different to any of the other ones oh shut up we need you know what i was saying this to my mum actually it's really hard i find to taste the difference. Unless you do it right next, like you taste it all at the same time. Right, hang on. But it's very nice. I'm going to do it proper. Yeah, go on.

Oh my God, I can actually pair. I've not read it before you start. Pair grass. Pair soil. Soil and grapes. We know there's grapes in there, so you can tell. Oh, you've got to make it. Oh, for fuck's sake.

Oh, my God, no, it doesn't even say it on the back. I hate it when they don't do this. They don't write the bits and bobs. But you can do a scanny-scanny because there's a barcode. No, I can't because I've still not signed up to that bloody app. No, like, honestly, someone make it easier for me. We need to do it. Guys, welcome back. We're very excited to be back together in real life because we did the last two over the like facetime

yeah it wasn't the same melissa got really annoyed she's like can you call me for an hour before so we can have a glass of like it's like 4 p.m in the day we need a glass of wine before and we need a private natter there's just some things we cannot say on the podcast i mean we pretty much overshare everything but there are some things you've got to just you know i mean we we definitely do overshare everything but we actually got so many of you guys laughing apparently i said um okay so i said melissa was a necrophiliac, which is somebody who's sexually attracted to dead people, but I meant that she's a narcoleptic. Anyway, somebody...

I'm not either, let's be clear right now. Yeah, a narcoleptic is someone that sleeps and they sound like a pony. And I'm not like that. Pretty much. No, guys, I can fall asleep everywhere. Like, if a plane's taking off, I can fall asleep on the tube, but I'm not... On the tube? Yeah. I've,'ve like nodded off on the tube before yeah but what after a couple drinks no your

skin honestly looks like five-year-olds i had a facial that's why did you really get facial uh done while they came to my house oh god doing a plug all right um and we also had somebody from australia listening so which is just so cool so we're so happy i actually saw someone also comment from atlanta or something like that atlanta oh my atlantic city yeah no no not from atlantic city like oh wait wait because if you did like you are atlanta atlanta's completely different places like real housewives of atlanta yeah atlantic city somewhere in america they both are yeah they both are i did know i don't know but anyway hi from atlanta so hey guys from across the world across the pond guys if anyone wants a huge tip you can watch all those and i And I'm going to do it.

So there's... Have I ever sent you a picture of me doing it? No, but I'm just so confused how you do it. Is it with like... Oh my God. Guys, look, just to clarify, Melissa waxes her nose out. I didn't know it was a thing. Her nose looks incredibly clean. I haven't waxed it in a good couple of weeks.

It's like bald. There's nothing there. When was it? No, the last time I came to see Safe. When was it? It wasn't the last time it was like maybe like four or five weeks ago yeah you just waxed it i had threaded my lip i'd plucked my eyebrows and i'd wax my nose hairs all just for sophie and i felt so fabulous there's nothing

like a hairless face is there yeah there's nothing like you do that like derma thing i know i have spoken to you guys about this i do shit i basically face. No, I've done it a couple times and then I stopped because it was great about spiking. Yeah, I don't. I only did it around the tash. If anyone's listening, I don't have like a hairy face. Not that there's any. No, you really don't.

But it's like the little blonde hairs that glisten in the sun and the makeup. It's more the makeup. Foundation catches and it makes it look more hairy than it is. Or it's fake tan on your face. It looks like I've got a furl on tash. Yes, yes, yes. It's so withy about this to me yes it's so weird it happens to me

it's so funny I'm watching Sophie play with her hair and then I just mirror her and do the same thing and what is wrong I honestly watched you just play with your hair

and I just grab my hair and I'm I know it's really addictive I can't stop playing with my hair we also discovered that we have the same password for everything which is so weird

yes and Harry copies my passwords and Jamie copies yours no Jamie doesn't jamie just has her boo for everything no i'm just gonna log into her um but yeah we're excited we've also got jamie on today we do special special guest hugely special guest i'm pretty sure he's very valuable advice he's gonna give you guys nice boys perspective and you know i will say i think that's like the best advice if i was a girl i'd only want a boy's perspective because girls don't

fuck all we know so much we know we know so much but we know because i'm discrediting everything we have ever said girls no but as in like i know what you mean it's always interesting because boys do look at things differently yeah some guys are crazy mind no but i'm not like we've all been there but you know how some girls are really like there are girls who the one thing that i think girls sometimes is lull themselves in a bit of a false sense of security yeah they're like oh my god he really likes me it's like no no no and you just have to like i think but i think sometimes girls are good at saying that but when they're your friends it's hard for them to say that to you because if my friend was like i don't know what he's saying i would not turn to my mate and be like he really doesn't like you i do i say i don't think i've

said it for everyone seeing me i say he doesn't like you does this to every girl but like if i if i was like harry's saying x y and z you would not be like melissa he was, like, Harry seeing X, Y and Z, you would not be like, Melissa, he doesn't like you? Well, no, because Harry does. I'd be like, he's cheating on you, if anything, if you've seen some guy... No, but I mean if it was back in the beginning of our relationship or something like that. Would you say to, like, your best, best, best friend,

he really doesn't like you? Or would you be like, look, he's a dick? I would, if we got drunk, I'd be like, I think he doesn't like you. Oh, his savageness. Welcome. Here he is now. The podcast king. Do you want a glass of wine?

You have to have one. Our special guest has arrived, guys. Let's pour him a large glass of vino. God, that's a big old one. Melissa pours me the biggest glasses. Yeah, but listen, I've been listening to your podcast, right? And I think Melissa's an alcoholic. Honestly.

I'm not an alcoholic, guys. You can't enjoy you know real housewives of desperate real housewives of new york and all of them they all like claim each other's an alcoholic i think it's outrageous i really like seriously they seriously say it's like she's actually getting no i used to though when i first like moved to london or when i was living with when i was at first it sounds like you came from new york when i first moved to london from somerset guys i didn't cross the pond when i even used to live like with my parents and i was in sixth form i'd come home me and my mom pour ourselves a glass of wine at six

o'clock at dinner that was like every evening though. But now I'm not doing it in the week. It's just on a Thursday when me and Sophie do the podcast now. And then Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Friday, Saturday. Can I ask a question? Do you guys like doing the podcast? Love it. We bloody love it. We're friends. We're actually friends. Yeah, you do.

Listen, I've been hearing this so like everyone, everyone loves your podcast. Isn't that really exciting? How do you know? Because I look at the comments and stuff.

Melissa honestly pulls the biggest one. No, I don't. That is how you do me. Listen, you're meant to be interviewing me on your podcast. No, we're not.

You're actually coming on to help us out a little bit. Am I helping dilemmas? Yeah, how far do you get? They got directed to you. Shut up. Yeah, so girls have asked for boy advice. How exciting.

Okay, quickly. Listen, what am I drinking? Well, that's so... You've got this one. It's a nice scanty gas. Oh, shit. Sorry. I didn't realise we were making him guess.

Oh, he's never going to guess that. I don't... Oh, he's never going to guess that. Oh, he'll never guess it. How is it, though? Do you like it? Okay, I'll tell you. So can I tell you what...

Should we all do the old... Sounds like you were talking about something else there. Should we all go to do the... Yeah. That's how you... You're the nose, I'm the mouth. I meant the old sniff and the slurp, you know. You know, but you guys, do you know about wine?

Or do you just like wine? To be fair, I actually think we've learnt more since doing this. No, we have not. No, my dad said that. I so have. What? That we know... The only thing I know

is that California wines are pretty shit. I've also learned that... You can't! Sorry, Mia. It's so discriminating and all that. Like, if you want a nice wine,

you've got to go to France, really. Really? Is that what you've learned? No, you know what? I don't believe that because that's like saying that no other sparkling wine is as good as champagne.

It isn't. No. The English sparkling wine, we had this conversation recently, is probably the next big thing. Oh, I didn't believe that because that's like saying that no other sparkling wine is as good as champagne it isn't no the English sparkling wine we had this conversation recently I didn't have that Nightimber what Nightimber okay listen

can I okay I forget what I was going to say can I okay listen because I obviously I said to my girlfriend

so I wasn't joking oh no we are I had no idea so if he's my girlfriend and I always wonder about different relationships so in your relationship with Harry

do you start the arguments or does Harry? I do. Harry never starts arguments. What do you argue about? Honestly, unbelievable. Actually, you know what? I'm actually going to say the complete opposite. Whenever we argue, it's always him having a go at me and how messy I am.

They don't argue is the question. The answer. No, but it's like,'s like fuck's it presh like you've left like can you please tidy that up god that was unbelievable

Sophie was Sophie was drunk she went to me like she went I'm sorry I'm such a nightmare you didn't say it

like that and then you went to me and went I'm crazy no Sophie's called me before like I feel so mean like I'm just such a bitch to Jamie

we both say it to each other no you're not I don't think I'm as bad as you yeah I don't think you're both bad you should like slap me no but you know what we have hormones like there has to be a level of tolerance

there has to be a level of tolerance yes there has to be a level of tolerance and i actually think that we're very relaxed girls on the spectrum you're going out i can give it i actually love it if you say that all night give me some freedom i don't want to stay for eight weeks what are you talking about you had eight weeks yourself no it was jake's i wish it was a no i'm joking but i'm joking but I am very like lenient with that sort of thing the only thing I don't like is like you pooing and burping

you're lenient with me going out you know what you have to almost be lenient with him pooing and burping he's going to be lenient with you a bit

our loos have it's fault in the design the u-bend sits like a ledge so if you go and take a number two it sits on top

of the ledge like that so then you have to flush it away and you have to scrub it away it is actually really bad it is it may even

say it is I will say like whoever made this apartment like that I've never known anyone who liked it it's really no idea it does

it sits on top of it that's our moan of the our whinge of the week is the old loo design okay well how many how many times do you

number two a day, Melissa? What? What's the question? What's the question? Yeah, this is a personal podcast. I don't think my pals have any view with the wine. Sophie's actually interested.

I know, I'm outrageous. I'm like... So rude. I'm not rude at all. Some days, it's more sometimes there's nothing, you know? Sometimes. That's constipation.

Everyone should go three times a day after breakfast, lunch and dinner. Do you go three times a day? Do you?, you know? Sometimes. That's constipation. Everyone should go three times a day after breakfast, lunch and dinner. Do you go three times a day? Do you? Do you know? After lunch, you're just like, right, I can't. No, I don't.

But apparently, I have been to see a specialist. Apparently, if you don't go, like, the healthy bowel goes three times a day, minimum. Have you ever had a, have you ever had a clonic irrigation? Yeah, I've had that.

You've never had a clonic irrigation? No. Is that what the clonic irrigation irrigation no they suck out your poo where she puts all the water and the vitamins yeah no no no no the vitamins go in there

I don't know no I just think they shove water up and poo in it no that's not for me I did it once just before I had a prawn laxer

oh I know exactly why because there's a laxer placed right outside the clonic that is disgusting I don't even know what you're talking about you ate it and you thought oh this won't hit the pit touch my fuzz

will it you can double you like double up the cream give me a prawn laxer and a spring roll what the hell is a prawn laxer oh it's delicious you get it at the fat farm it's so gross it's not gross it's divine have you never been there in chelsea farmer's market no delicious really well so you had a bunch of deep fried food and then you're like oh we'll just get it it's not deep fried it's like a big creamy soup yeah it's delicious right are we gonna read some dilemmas because i'm excited for this yeah you ready okay here we go hey girls your podcast is amazing you both inspire me i'm 14 years old and i like a boy at school i've liked him for a while but i don't want to tell him as i'm way too nervous what is

the best thing to do also have you and jamie are perfect together and so you and melissa harry love you both so much stacy oh my gosh first of all that is so cute oh and she's only 14 okay i'm gonna put it out there i'm gonna put it out there. Is she 14? I'm going to put it out there. Go straight up and just say it. What? No. What? No, this is the worst. I see the opposite. Don't. Don't say anything. Don't say anything.

Just play cool. I would play cool. Cool. I would personally play cool. But you know what? Would you appreciate, your 14-year-old self would appreciate a girl going up to you and being like, hey, buddy, I like you. Yeah.

I think it's sweet. I think guys love to be liked. Guys are simple creatures. Yeah, but then you'd just like kiss her or like play catch with her. I don't know. No, you would say, what you would do, if I was going to play it tack for tack, I would say to the boy something funny like,

oh, by the way, I fancy you. That's funny. And then not say anything else. Leave it like that. Oh, yeah, I'd do that. Then leave it. No, I would just get a friend to be like, oh. I would actually tell his friend, I'd be like, oh, I actually really like you. Yeah, I would do that. And then he would just get back friend to be like oh i would actually tell his friend i'd be

like oh i actually really yeah and then he would just get back to him yeah and then he will actually start looking at you differently always i always found at school when i found a boy like me i then suddenly like subconsciously fancied them back i would do the same my time is bad i'd tell everyone i'd be like yeah i really fancy yeah yeah just be quite open about it and just be like yeah it's really hot as though like you don't care that he knows yeah wow girls are tactile i i would literally go revenge you yeah that's a girl at school that would grow that would put me right off a boy like if someone if if somebody walked up to me i fancy you i'd be like oof oof, oof. Yeah, even if I fancy them. Oof, oof. I wouldn't know what to do with that information.

I'd be like, thanks. Do you remember MSM's names from people having... I wasn't allowed MSM. What? Were you allowed MSM? I'm actually really glad I wasn't because that then led to Chatroulette and I know some girls that have done some weird shit on there. Can we get Jamie's advice on why a guy won't make a move on you?

I recently went to a guy's house as he invited me over in the evening. We'd been talking on and off for about four to five months and had only been on one date. Oh, God. Long off time. What? I went to his and we had a drink, but I was driving home, so I only had one. We chatted and chilled at his, but no move was made. He recently, this year, had come out of an eight-year relationship.

I'm 21. He's 22. Is he emotionally unavailable? No. No. I can tell you right now what that is. Four to five months. I can tell you he's 22. Is he emotionally unavailable? No, no. I can tell you right now what that is. 45 months. I can tell you exactly what that is.

This is very simple. So, to whoever you are, what happened was, is the guy said, can you come over to mine? She had already said, by the way, I'm not really drinking

because I'm driving. That's immediate red flag. So you think in your head, oh shit, she's got a way out. She doesn't really want to come over. Puts the boy in the back foot straight away. You say we're tactile. It's true this is true this is true right okay so immediately he's on the back foot because he's like damn we can't have a couple drinks well he's

thinking he's thinking that she's kind of in but not really because she wouldn't want to stay and she doesn't want to stay and guys are way want to stay. Right. And guys are way more insecure than girls. And girls are way more insecure. They just don't voice it that much. And they're shy. Guys are normally shy in these situations. So she would have come over. He would be thinking in the back of his head, she's not drunk.

She's had one drink. She's going to drive home. Why wouldn't he just be like, oh, you can stay if you would like to. Because the guys aren't like that. What? Why not? No, they're not. Oh, and you've never said to Soph when you were first dating, you can stay the night. Yeah to because the guys aren't like that no they're not oh you've never

said to so no when you were first dating you can stay the night yeah but i was 30 like i knew about myself 22 so young so he would have hey you're a canadian podcast listener and that makes you important to us we'd like to know more about you what you think of this podcast and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out. Complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. Freaked out.

And then also he was waiting for her to give him a sign. She obviously did not give him a sign, so he didn't make his move. Yeah, but boys do need a sign. But I'd never go into that situation and make a sign. Boys need a sign. But what's a sign? So do girls. Boys need a sign. A sign is sign so do girls boys need a sign

a sign is like so if you were him what were you expecting her to do a lingering look like a moment of silence what do you mean a lingering look

yeah I actually feel like honestly a lingering look a lingering look so when you Melissa just laughing at that

I'm trying to imagine myself and I'm going to linger at this point yeah but I think the boys Melissa do a lingering look do a lingering but I'm trying to imagine myself right now. What? I'm going to linger at this point. Yeah, but I think the boy in style is in front of me eyes. Do a lingering look.

I can't even imagine myself. I'm like, ooh. How would you even do? You just missed Melissa's lingering look. Oh, no, that's terrible. So what's your advice?

My advice is that he definitely fancies you. He wouldn't waste his time asking you to come over. But what if he was hungover? No, he wouldn't be hungover. 22, yeah. I think that you need to...

He's obviously a shy boy. You need to put the feelers out there for him. And then he'll react. Yeah, maybe. And maybe he's still not quite over. Absolute horseshit. Can I just say, any guy who says, oh, I'm not quite over my ex and I'm not emotionally

unavailable, that doesn't happen. They're not, they're, wait, they're not good enough for them. I never said that to you. No, as in, like, if we ever break up, you will get, what, a boy gets over a girl straight away? A boy will sleep with another girl. Get over someone else. Or, like, just for the sake of it.

That is so the opposite of girls, isn't it? Imagine for some reason, like, I'm emotionally unavailable. Like, to me, that's just, like, I'm not good enough. Like, you just don't like me enough. I just never sleep. I wouldn't even reply if someone just bastarded me. Like, I'm emotionally unavailable. Like, to me, that's just like, I'm not good enough. Like, you just don't like me enough. I just never speak. I wouldn't even reply if someone just bastarded me. Yeah, no, same. Yeah, so I think, I think if someone says they're emotionally unavailable as a guy,

I personally, but it's my point of view, I don't think, I think that's a lie. Yeah, same. I don't really think there's any such thing. Like, if they like you, they're going to be emotionally available. Also, why would you even, like, initiate a conversation if you're emotionally unavailable? Yeah, I just feel shit. It's just the way I am. Have you guys ever had to break up with someone? I know, i just feel shit have you guys ever had to break up with someone i know so if you had miss have you ever had to break up with someone yeah what did you say yeah oh god very long-winded conversation my first boyfriend bless his little heart he was like the nicest boy i've and i'm

very grateful for having like a nice first boyfriend but i broke up with him on his birthday really quite savage outside a pub in brutonon he was there with his mum and all his mates and i was like i just really sorry i just can't be with you anymore like so sorry with his mum he came out of the pub his mum all his friends were in the pub for his birthday his mum and all his friends how much of the actor did he give you you'd be like i will not kiss i just didn't like him whatsoever like i just not nothing emotional was there like but i was so young i was like how old was i 17 and i'd been with him since i was 15 you know god you really look like i was like over it before i even broke up like there'd been months i'd basically gone through the breakup but we didn't speak for like

weeks on end like it was a very bizarre bizarre ending to the relationship we were at different schools and I just went over there and I was like I think it was the only reason I was even going to see him on his birthday and I was just like really sorry

I can't do this I don't have feelings for you anymore is that what you said? do you know what I love about you guys both of you guys saying your honesty

not in terms of like this podcast right now but just the fact that your emotions if your emotions aren't in it you'll just tell them right look I'm just actually not in this i have strong boys along and yeah i have to tell lies which is what boys do so that's when you know that a girl's saying

oh they're doing this i'm like he just doesn't like you i know yeah i've done it to a boy oh yeah i fully lied and said i really like you and i haven't i've done it saying my dad came to my bed he came and stayed this shit hotel in like the outskirts of my bed to see me because I like strung him along and then my dad and he, I just didn't see him. I found him so gross. Oh no. Can I just quickly give a shout out to Minieia Gavi. It's delicious. It's delicious. It is lovely. It's really nice. Is it expensive? Yeah, 23. So like 17 a restaurant. that's expensive so 23 pounds

white wine this is divine Sophie wines about the amount I pour in her glass yet she downs the whole glass way before me

I don't down it you do I'm sorry I've got a full glass empty yeah because you're gobble gobble gobble

ready this one I'm really excited for porn what is it with boys from porn i hate it and i found out my boyfriend watches it as probably most of all boys do and it just makes me feel like i'm not enough for my boyfriend and i feel like people shouldn't watch it if they are in relationships unless they both feel okay with it okay right i can totally sympathize with this welcome to the

real world honey if i call harry if i walked into the living room and he was watching some full-on porn oh yes i would be my full-on porn for you girls i've never seen him watch porn so i don't know i don't know i don't know i've never watched it i do not believe i haven't I haven't. I haven't. You've seen Jamie watching it. No, I fucking haven't. I think it's disgusting. I see it on his recent search, but I haven't seen him watching it.

No, you don't. Okay, right, let's get Jamie's perspective on this, because he's clearly watched it. So I have an opinion on this. I have an opinion on this. Okay, so I used to think, so I think that a lot of guys watch porn, and I don't think,

and I don't think boys in their heads think it's an issue. This is total. I don't think boys think it's an issue. They're like, it's just porn. Who cares? I had that opinion for so long. I think porn is really bad for just anyone's head. Not to watch in relation. I don't think it means that they're cheating or whatever.

No, they don't expect. I think it desensitises boys. You've seen this. Someone's told you this. No, I think it does. I know what you mean it doesn't make it feel romantic it's just like a thing to watch because what happens is loads of girls and boys who watch it together like is that a thing well i think listen boys are watching porn or girls are watching porn to basically go and wank right and then they just go and like come whatever it is but i think the point is is that sex is like a great thing to look forward to so if you start

so okay look at like alcohol if you start, okay, look at alcohol. If you start abusing alcohol, the more you have to have, the more you have to drink to get drunk, the more time you have. It's not as fun. Same happens with porn. If you're masturbating and orgasming all the time, the more you have to do it for it to be exciting for you. The better it has to be.

The more interesting it has to be. The expectation is so huge. So then you lose the sense, you desensitise yourself with your partner and then sex becomes mundane. So actually, I used to think porn was fine. I was like, oh, you watch porn. I used to watch porn in relationships or whatever.

I used to do it, who cares? But now I actually honestly think that it desensitises people and that you shouldn't watch it. Okay, so you've heard it from the King guys. He does not know how true that is. But what do you think this poor girl should do then she's obviously found out i don't think she should get across him because no you can't i've told you this story

before but we were at a restaurant my friend was looking at his phone looking at recent searches looking at this new house that he was saying i'm gonna go on holiday she swipes left and on his recent searches there's a fucking live porn and she went oh sorry at dinner and dami went oh no it's what my friend ollie whoopsie i wouldn't mind if you actually got annoyed at me she was like i'm so embarrassed i was like yes okay turn it on me no i didn't i thought i was embarrassed by it but i of course you should be i was very embarrassed but you kept going at it and there was nothing else i more i can say because it's almost like it's so embarrassing when you've got to keep joking about it you can't almost just brush it under the rug that makes it

more awkward so i was like let's really do it i know otherwise oh god i didn't quite know you weren't joking you were getting angry and that was No, you weren't joking. You were getting angry. And that was the difference. You weren't joking, but you were getting cross. It's getting serious. Guys, you're getting an absolute live argument from right to the top. Yeah, let's just take this outside. Okay, let's take this outside. We're going to fight. Who are you?

Who are you? Who do you think you are? Hi, girls. Love listening to the podcast, and we look forward to every wednesday i have two dilemmas or boy related trouble items on the agenda that i have been playing on my mind i have been dating guy for almost a year jamie are you listening yep my boyfriend govern he lives in another city not too far away from where i live so we spend time together on weekends when we first started dating i noticed a couple things of his ex was still in the house including a pair of

socks in the bedside drawer which i found little off as he broke up with her the year prior when i brought it up he got rid of them thank goodness as he once offered me to wear them have we have we don't know i'm just trying to make you feel better. Fast forward to now. Sometimes receives mail addressed to her. Oh, right. Okay, that's kind of... Okay, that's totally... So, you... Receives mail addressed to her, delivered to the house,

which he seems to hang on to instead of redirecting or dealing with it. It frustrates me as I then feel like there is a constant personal tie to his ex. They've met at once to once clear the air. Oh, no. Oh, no. No, I can tell. No, no. Oh, no. No, I can tell. No, I'm not liking this. They are both dating.

However, I'm not sure where their relationship is like now. They're both mutual friends, so will both be at the same birthday's weddings. That's a flag for me. Listen, I'm dead. I don't want awkwardness. However, I don't want to feel out of place either. I feel like he is the first thing to say something negative about my ex who was a long-time boyfriend but realized fell out of love

but when he speaks of his ex there is never a bad word to say not that i'd expect him to speak ill of anyone but overall just as thought the dilemma i always i always think there's something with self-reflecting like so when you're when you're being like uh it's for the boyfriend for example is being negative about her ex. I always think that it's an insecurity within yourself. Because he knows he's got feelings. I'm facing. My gut feeling is listening to this.

He's not over the ex. Yeah, that's weird. You don't meet up with them. And the reason you even have this in your head as a dilemma and you're writing it into us. There's something in your gut saying there's something's not right there. Why is he not throwing away the socks? I think I... The socks? Throw away the fucking mail. Like who cares? She doesn't

need a fucking mail. I'm not going to hang on to it. I'm going to hang on to it. I think it's illegal to do that though. I don't think you're allowed to throw people's mail. I mean we'll don't hang on to it. It's probably illegal as well. Like send it on to her. Yeah so I'd throw it away. I would just literally throw it away.

I would be like, oof, God, why is that still coming here? I love it. But you know what I mean? Like, let's not hang on to this and keep it in my bedside drawer along with her sock. Yeah, fucking well. Creepy. What do you think, Jamie? I think, I think, Melissa, you've hit the nail on the head.

I also think that, I think it's like when guys, you know when guys are like, which I find really odd, when guys don't allow girls to go out in like the way that they dress or something they become really like that's bizarre I've never had that

in a relationship I've never okay all guys in nightclubs get cross if their girlfriend like talks to someone else but they're very insecure

yeah I know I heard about this today that someone's whatsapp photo if it's not of her and her boyfriend he will literally call her up

and be like who the fuck are you speaking to there's just psychos out there yeah so that always puts a red flag up. I hate that. But secondly, I just think that that's them

reflecting their own insecurities because they would probably do the same thing. Yeah. That's what I think. I'm so with you on that. So he doesn't like the ex because he knows him and his ex are literally getting it on.

God, I'm so sorry to be brief. I don't think they're getting it on, but I definitely think there's feelings there and he's like not fully... You should just not be mates with your ex unless like you literally like... I just don't think you should anyway if on, but I definitely think there's feelings there and he's, like, not fully... You should just not be mates with your ex unless, like, you literally, like... I just don't think you should anyway if it's a really long-term ex.

It's pretty weird if you've got... No, I'm trying to think... I think you could be mates with your ex. I think Harry... If you were mates with him... With him? Or her. I think that's a part of the same question.

Him or her. Well, for me, it's a him, isn't it? Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if Harry was mates with your ex, then it wouldn't be an issue. If they were still in a friendship group. If they're not, I think it's a bit disrespectful.

Yeah. And that's like... Honestly, with my exes, I couldn't... If they were friends, I couldn't care. No, but if they were there, I'd be like,

look, we dated once, it was fine, whatever, we don't date anymore, but, like, I have no bad feelings. No bad ill. Yeah, I'm like,

apart from maybe one. You know what, I've got a couple skeletons in the closet. No, I mean, Harry's around his exes all the time. I don't really care. They're not really exes, but, you know, he's dabbled in quite a few. All the guys he's slept with, I'm sure that I've... Who's the one that he's dabbled with is upsetting for you?

We have the same mutual hate for someone. Yeah, we do. Oh, what's... Yeah, I know the one. Oh, quite a lot of our friends are also everyone doesn't like her only because she came up to me once I've never met a girl

in my life thought she was English so she had this like weird accent for a start and I was like golly that took me took me aback I was really drunk as well

and she goes I just think you can do way better than Harry in this and I went is that really I didn't know what to say I was so

so so vague that I I just went I didn't know you sounded like that no you didn't you what to say I was so so so vague that I I just went I didn't know you sounded like that no you didn't you did not say that you just couldn't put like a voice to it and I just went

oh I didn't think you were going to sound like that I went where are you from what about your response I remember seeing you that night hanging around we were both there yeah I was there

you were flirting oh god you all had a lot of drama that night I was flirting fighting you You were flirting. Oh God. You had a lot of drama that night. I was flirting. Fighting. You were boxing. That was the night. We all had a lot of drama that night. Yeah.

There was big drama that night. There was big drama that night. What was the other drama that night? I have to tell you, your current girlfriend saw her out. There was a lot of ex-girlfriends lurking about

upsetting people. Yeah, I was all the shippers. Everyone was angry at me. I was like, I've not done anything. I was like, I can't bring her out again. God, I just remember coming outside and you were crying floor oh my god we didn't walk outside with you

so this ex-girlfriend would set me off on a back foot i was like what the fuck's going on anyway then i couldn't find harry and i was trying to leave so drunk you were actually with him and loads of other people you were always leaving my normal people and you were crying and i was oh no i was so angry and you both kept laughing at me and i was like no i'm serious trying to get you all to take me seriously you were all just laughing at me did i give you a look that night sophie oh stop yeah you were like you actually you actually barged past me with your shoulder and then didn't speak to me for like a few weeks. Imagine me as well, literally done nothing. I was like, I actually didn't really care.

And then we met up filming and you were like really rude to me. And I was like, ooh, I think I've enjoyed it. I love these juicy throwbacks. Yeah, it's such a throwback. But also like such a manipulative thing. I'd done nothing. I was like, I'm not even involved. That wasn't really his fault.

No, but I was very manipulating. manipulating it was bad so apologies for that one really proud of you guys for your podcast i think everyone listens really loves it and i really enjoy listening to it every single week oh thank you so much i'm actually gonna also say thank you to you because we wouldn't actually be doing it unless it was only because jamie has all the podcast bits and you are the podcast king let's be honest thank you to you because we wouldn't actually be doing it unless it was for Jamie only because Jamie knows all the podcast bits and you are the podcast king let's be honest thank you Jamie cheers

ladies thank you so much it's a dry old ship over there for Sophie look that's terrible you should get some wine but anyway we were meant to complain of the week

but I have no complaints because you're so delightful amazing and listen go and drink this wine because it's yummy no that's not what we do we rate the wine

oh out of ten yeah rate it out of ten oh I'm going to give it an eight I'm going to give it a seven and the wine oh out of 10 yeah rate it out oh i'm gonna give it an eight i'm gonna give it a seven and a half yeah i'm gonna give it a seven oh amazing we did this at the beginning we did eight for everything so we have to lower it down then we were like we can't just keep but you know what i think at some point me and sophie are also gonna do two wines maybe so we can compare and when i tell you what's going to be exciting when you release your own wine that's the day when you release your own wine

that's what I'm waiting for Romina touch wood that's the goal anyway guys we love you thank you so much

for listening please tune in next week and send us your funky even if it's like girl problems I want to hear

some juicy girl dilemmas because actually in my life I've had some girl issues recently yeah Melissa's

Sophie's been on the other side of it no I haven't done anything, let's be honest. Anyway, send them in and we'll... Don't... Also, say, tell them to share it with a friend. I'll share it with a friend if you'd like to.

Only if you want to, no pressure. I love how he's doing it. If you don't want to, don't worry. All right, everyone. Bye, guys. Bye. chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots, a chance to win with every spin and a

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that's it for this week wednesdays but god don't you just fancy some more melissa yeah i'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas i want to know what happens well then tinies we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad-free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of Dilemma follow-ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favorite app. How cool is that? Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.