Wednesdays - Ep 16: How to navigate your best friend’s wedding!

Episode Date: July 27, 2021

Hey Gang,It’s that time again – we answer more of your VERY juicy questions about friendships, fall outs and everything weddings – bridesmaids, hen dos and the vino!We also read your responses from last week’s dilemmas… spoiler - call us cupid! As always, keep your dilemmas and wine recommendations coming …This week we are drinking Mirabeau Pure Rosé Provence - link below!https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/mirabeau-pure-rose-provence/603980-413442-413443 Our ratings are...Sophie: 8.5Melissa: 8.5Much love,S & M xSocial - @wednesdayswedrinkwineEmail - [e-mail] Productions Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Hey guys, it's Sophie here. I'm Melissa. And welcome to our new podcast, Wednesdays We Drink Wine. Hey guys!

Hey guys! Welcome back! I'm really excited. See guys, Melissa and I haven't seen each other for so long. It's been two weeks now. Two weeks and we've both got our headphones on. I mean, are they called headphones? Yeah, they are. Guys, the heat is getting to us. We're in different countries, but it's just as hot, probably, in England right now, right? Yeah, but it's stuffier. We don't have a pool to dip our toes into. No, I know. That's the problem with England.

You don't have the facilities to go with the heat. No air con. Yeah. No pool, no beach. Maybe the country's quite nice. Yeah, but the beach. Oh, God. It's the whole vibe, isn't it?

Also, the heat feels different here. Yeah. Like, you walk out and the heat is fine. But in England, you're, like, dying. Yeah, it is. I'm quite okay with it, but I literally walk around half naked. I'm not really so sure it's acceptable. Ugh.

Like, you know, in, like, in a broad country you can literally wear nothing. Like, you can walk down the street in your bikini. Yeah, and people don't look. And it's totally acceptable. But here it's, like, wrap up. Put something on. Yeah, I know. People look at you a lot, don't they?

People are so exposed. But I... You really... That's the problem, I think. It's because you're so used to wearing so many clothes, like, in that same area. wrap up put something yeah I know people look at you a lot don't they people are so exposed but I you really that's the problem I think it's because you're so used to wearing so many clothes like in that same area and then when you don't

it's like uh oh yeah I feel so naked um but guys we've missed you and we are actually doing

yeah we're doing this remotely again so I'm in Mallorca and Sophie's in London we're not in Sophie's kitchen we're not in my kitchen I'm actually not in my kitchen myself I'm in the study because Jamie's doing his own podcast and thought his was obviously so much more important so I got shut up um but today's

podcast we're like actually focusing on girl group dilemmas because yeah lots of girl drama you know like your best friend falls out you know you know i feel like when there's threesome girls like as in like three girls are best friend and then one of them always falls out with the other and then it's like one has to choose i feel like that sort of situation happens quite a bit yeah yeah yeah but you're playing on our own sort of experience what's that happen to us not really but you've got a really fancy store that has actually how big is that glass guys this is a glass of water that i'm drinking from with a straw. Can you intro our wine, please?

Guys, so we're having a lovely Mirabou wine. I'm not sure if we've had this before. I think we have. It's the pure one. So lovely. Obviously, it's Provence. We both got the same one. We made the effort to make sure.

Yours looks a lot more, like, frosted than mine. It's because it's been out of the fridge for a bit, so it's got a bit of condensation. Guys, whoa! And now I love your sunglasses. Good luck. Good luck. Also, we had so much love.

It was you, Melissa, who drank the Mirabelle wine, the Studio by Mirabelle. I did. Tell me about it. Okay, so my friend Alice, who's a bit of a queen connoisseur of wine, especially Rosie, like her whole family are obsessed with rosé. And her and her family did the whole tasting of loads of different wines.

Anyway, so she's always really good at picking. We were at a friend's birthday, which was a girly day, and she picked that one. It was one of the more expensive ones. I actually think it was £39 a bottle. That's expensive. How much did we get? It was expensive. Oh, I have no idea

but it was delicious to be fair i couldn't really taste it my taste was still kind of gone from corona but everyone else seemed to really enjoy it and as you guys have said it's really good because loads of you said it was fabulous so maybe we treat ourselves and try that next week so i feel that now and now you can taste it more and you'll still be in your i can taste fully now That came back really quickly. I don't know if anyone remembers, but when I saw COVID, quite badly. To be fair, it took two weeks to come back. It wasn't like a matter of days.

It was a long time. Could you taste salt though? So drinking this way tastes heaven. Salt, sweet, I could taste, and spice and citrus. But that was like it. Oh, this is boring. Yeah, this wine would be tasty gross. And wine was literally like nothing.

It wasn't even like i could taste alcohol it was nothing what the hell i'm just gonna have a sip and like pretend that i'm tasting nothing you can't imagine it when it happened like you can't imagine it but you've you had this like a year ago and you lost your taste oh yeah i had it but it was i got that before sorry to be so but i got that before it came out as a symptom. Yeah, you and Harry both had it at the same time. I was like, I can't taste anything. And they were like, well it's not a side effect. The doctors were like, don't worry, it's not

a Covid symptom, so you can carry on. Now it's the main bloody symptom. God. There's so many strange symptoms. Gosh. And that is a lovely wine. We should get that for next week. Yeah, we really should. Anyone this weekend, oh, yeah, hopefully it's sunny next week when you guys listen to it.

Even if it's not sunny, you're going out for dinner. Yeah, it's a summer. Or get it in for a dinner and it's lovely. It's a summery drink. I can't decide whether I prefer white wine or rose. Rose is lighter, isn't it? Rose is definitely the lightest wine. Yeah, I think it just changes.

White wine is more flavoursome. Red wine is heavy but delicious, but not for summer for me oh my god i could probably have we were discussing this actually i could probably have a glass of red wine with a meal in the summer but i could not just go to the bar and order a glass of red no no no no no oh also guys we're actually so excited because we've got responses to some of the dilemmas from this the previous week's episode um lovely wine yeah should i try it okay yeah go on that was brilliant i haven't got any ice in mine refreshing i've not had a glass of rosé for quite well apart from last night what am i talking about you're on holiday you're on your holidays isn't that i'm on my holiday exactly are you the type do you know anyone that

gets the airport you know those boys that get to the airport 9am and have a glass bottle like a glass sorry to any of you boys but like if jamie would just like a pint of lager i'd probably break out oh yeah so especially that anything after 1pm fine except for i get it but like it's like people's holiday i sometimes go for the 12 o'clock yeah but it's like people's holiday 12's okay for Bloody Mary I sometimes go for the 12 o'clock yeah but it's like when it's 9am early in the morning and you see people having pints I'm like god yeah that is just so uncivilised

it's pretty like gross actually but yeah god we sound really drudgy I've definitely done that before but not high you've had a pint of it i actually tried someone's um a friend of ours that we know actually my ex-boyfriend um he's launching a beer and i tried it and i was like mmm tastes nice never had a beer before my dad was like

oh is this what all lagers taste like i was like i've never tried a lager before i've only had coronas and they were like you fool that's a lot that is a lager how do you know that sort of stuff like i feel like lagers like a big guinnessy like foam on the top real manly down the pub no that's a guinness that's a different thing no guinness doesn't have foam that's the whole point oh wait oh no but guinness is different to a lager a large like a yeah this is like black the color yeah much my mum drank it weirdly I think when she was like breastfeeding I think it's got full of nutrients yeah they say it's like full of all the I think it's like seriously calorific and full of nutrients maybe she could yeah when she was pregnant no breastfeeding breastfeeding oh she

was probably getting all the calories in yeah cool interesting one nice little tip guys if you're breastfeeding just that would be encouraging on one beat even a drink just sipping on my guinness in the background oh my god okay i'm gonna read i'm gonna read the the update from um do you remember guys the girl was telling us about um she really fancied the guy at school oh yeah it's a sweet sweetie yeah the little sweetie and jamie gave her his advice but basically a bit of background knowledge for anyone who didn't listen last night she was 14 year old girl who'd asked for jamie's advice about fancying a guy at school she was very sweet anyway this was her reply hey girls thanks so much for reading up my debt lemon for all your help jp you gave me amazing advice this is follow-up i've now found that he has a girlfriend

but i still like him every time i see him or speak to him i go really silly i feel like i just need to look somewhere else as i won't be able to tell him how am i feeling now oh my god no bless your little heart but i also feel like it's a sign from the universe it wasn't meant to be yeah you know he's got a girlfriend but you know what i i feel like if you still feel good and you still feel those feelings like there's nothing wrong with feeling like that you just yeah kind of learn how to learn how to deal with it use it's like a bit of a learning curve because these things do happen in life but you fancy someone there take it you know yeah and also do you not remember like minissa i i can't think of what age i became not being i became being non-silly around boys like i was so silly i remember my first boyfriend

a guy called miles dean and i i wouldn't like go near him like i'd literally avoid him oh my god my first boyfriend it would be like no no you don't speak to your boyfriend you see them coming you walk you just them coming you walk in you're just in that MSN name that's it Sophie of Loughborough it's Mars with Loughborough

I didn't have MSN but yeah we were not because she was so young yeah and my mum just never allowed it she was like no and I was at boarding school like we had phones

like we would just talk on text I don't even think I had a phone oh yeah I did I was like 13 I had to because when I went to boarding school I had to phone interlock. Oh, yeah, I did. I was, like, 13. I had to, because when I went to boarding school, I had to.

But, yeah. My first boyfriend now plays England rugby. Quite good for me. Really? Yeah. What? Yeah. He's really lovely.

What's his name? Like, my friendship group's still going. Darren Atkins. Shout out to Darren. Look. Dead. I'm just going to follow. So, look. out to darren look i'm just gonna follow look to the 14 year old girl out there i think

you're gonna have many of these to come yeah it's a good lesson to learn yeah the next we've all been there at some point like it's like i'll always it's like certain people would just always be sitting in front of there are certain people you will just always fancy like a celebrity like bradley keeper if i saw him no matter how many times i've met him i reckon i'll still be who are you talking about sorry bradley cooper like do you know what i mean like there's just certain people i'm trying to like reference it to now i don't know who i'd be really well no just someone that you really fancy also when you're younger like it's so much harder to control your feelings so like yeah boys anyone novelty it's like the minute you start

sort of feeling those attractions start flying everywhere yeah yeah you're basically obsessed i was obsessed with boys me and my friend victoria were like oh my god crazed obsessed i remember when i first went to senior school it's all we ever spoke about as well i mean to be fair this is what this podcast is about yeah i know we do have boyfriends but if we didn't I'm pretty sure it'd probably be the same god help me um wait we've also got another follow-up from the girl that was seriously struggling with the love I love you dilemma do you remember that Melissa so basically they've been going out for six months and she was really scared to consider saying it even though she really felt it and she hadn't as he hadn't properly asked her out

they'd just been seeing that was it yeah they've been seeing each other do you want the update should i read it to you yeah yeah i said follow up hey girls i'm not gonna lie i write this with a huge grin on my face oh good good after your advice i plucked up the courage and told him that what i wanted from us. Yes. I didn't tell him I love him, as you suggested, that I'd like to wait and hear him say it first. I was so, so scared, but I thought to myself, what is the point of keeping it and potentially hiding myself more? Turns out he feels the same way about me.

He told me he was scared to ask me to be his girlfriend just in case I didn't feel the same way. Oh my God. That's such a lovely story. That's so good. We've such a lovely story in this scenario he also said he wants this to be the rest of our lives oh my god i honestly couldn't be happier thank you so much for the tough love it was needed melissa cheers over the screen cheers we've made someone made someone an official couple i'm so happy that's amazing we're drinking to you today darling i don't know i can't remember what her name is i mean it's anonymous we can't say anyway we can't say your name but you know who you are i'm so happy that's so good we've actually officially helped so this is our dilemma from this week this is not a follow-up guys so the proper dilemmas and remember girls that about girl girl group drama let's get into

it okay love the podcast listen every week and here is my girl group predicament we love you thank you for listening we are in a tight-knit group of eight friends from school been friends for over 15 years with virtually no fallouts lovely and three of them have been have begun to peel off and started to arrange seeing one another slash trips away without including the rest of us that's tough but that kind of happens though growing up i get it this hasn't been prompted by any form of fallout or anything when we all meet up as a group they again seem to be just as obsessed with their own in-jokes. Oh, God. I feel like I've been one of these girls, though.

You bitch. I feel something needs to be said as it's beginning to create negative vibes within the group, which they seem completely oblivious to. I feel particularly strongly as one of the girls who is beginning to peel off into this subgroup is meant to be my closest friend. Oh, God, this is horrible. I'm going to jump in here and say this is horrible, but it does happen.

It does happen. When you become sort of, you know, I'm turning 27. I had a huge uni group of friends. We are all still best friends. And I would like, that is my group of girls. But within that group, I am closest to two of the girls you know and that just is yeah you can't it does just happen unfortunately that whole like it is a very young and I'm not sort of pushing down this dynamic because I do think it is horrible

when it first starts to happen but it will gradually happen and and if it wasn't them who were initiating it you yourself probably at one point maybe you're not ready but you know the groups do get smaller your friends do become less are you as you get older or they or you just don't get together as a big group as often and you do see each other in twos and threes and then sometimes birthdays it will get together and like that's okay you know this part of growing up and people do gravitate towards each other for whatever reason and you just have to trust that process don't like trust the process don't let it get to you and upset you because when you when you have left school I mean you've been friends for over 15 years you should just be okay with it let it go um if you know if they're seeing each

other that you can't you can't sort of be like I want want to be invited because... I have also been that girl, though, who's still, you know... And I still am a bit like that, if I'm totally honest. If some of the girls meet up without me, it's within certain groups. I do sometimes, I'm like, oh, my God, I feel really, real famous. You're really good at not feeling that, aren't you, Melissa? Yeah, but I think... So I've had a similar thing.

So, like, me and my, and my like I guess girl group from school like we've all known each other since we were like 11 and we've been at boarding school together and we've all been friends since so that is literally over 10 years is that how many years is that oh my god I'm old yeah and that I guess there's always been sort of semi groups within that group so there's been like me and three or four other other girls are a lot closer and see each other more than the whole group yeah but it's like not a problem and then like there's another like crossover of the middle of the group and they see each other sometimes yeah and like no one seems to care and everyone's fine with it but I guess that's because my original tight-knit group is still the

same and like we will never like the four of us slash five of us will never go out without asking everyone if they can come like we just won't do it because we don't want to just see one person like we always want to be together so yeah yeah i'm kind of the same well like i would never privately message just two of the girls and be like should we just go out just the two of us do you know what i mean no but at some point oh i don't really know what you mean like mine's a bit basically to respond yours is different because it was yours are different friendship groups sort of anyway aren't they no we were all what just one big uni group but we have all just grown up and everyone's got boyfriends and maybe some of the boyfriends get on really well or them closer to age and

so we we have our little like groups and within our big girl group we've got like you know three of the girls boyfriends get on really well so they sort of migrate towards each other and hang out and do little trips away and we do it and it's so fun but like you know if we had a big christmas dinner or something we'd all go it's one of those yeah yeah yeah you wouldn't do a huge group and then like leave out two people that's savage no no no I'd never do that but I just think that I do think these things I do think it happens to everyone it does and you just have to go with the flow and trust the process and you know I think as we get older also you do meet more friends like I guess I've developed like another mini group of like girlfriends like who me and

you are one group yeah we're literally on our child we're just we don't let anyone else in Melissa actually loves it just me and her like there's I'm like can we go just just us sometimes it really is neat that's like this podcast that's even a blessing yeah it really has it really has no no but like there is we like gossip have a little gossip one-on-one you know so like now you know when no no one else you don't feel comfortable saying things in front of anyone else apart from that one person like i say things in front of me that i would not feel comfortable yeah anybody else i'm like no no we've all got that but then like there's also other like little groups like within our friendship that like we would get together with certain other girls and, like, you know? Yes. And, like, even, I guess, like, with my friends, you guys, I don't

know, you probably know, my friends Zara and Ruby, like, we're all kind of a little group because our boyfriends were all best friends or ex-boyfriends, like, but that's how we sort of, like, came together as a little group. But, like, I'll do things with Zara separately, Ruby and Zara will do things together, me and Ruby. We're really going into our lives giving it real snippets. But, like, it happens. And I don't give a shit. You know, I don't give a shit if they're going for dinner or whatever without me. And vice versa, no one cares about the other.

You have to just... Like, that's just life. Yeah, it's one of those things that you have to take a step back and be like, look, really, no one's doing anything bad. I'm not taking this personally. It's life. I love them. They love me.

It's probably convenient. They might gel more than we did at that time they just might gel more at the time bit of tough love but you know like you've just got to let it slip don't try and play games or anything it's not something like that i'm gonna give you advice and be like right well i think you should just go on a one-on-one drink with one of the other guys like i really don't think you should get worked up but yeah unfortunately it's just one of those things tough love like i think this is just life and that kind of happens and it does happen to everyone i do remember very well when it first started happening because we used to only do things all together and then it's stuck and one person couldn't come

we'd be like oh we'll all do it this day and then it was actually like well no we'll just be at this date and i'll see you another time yeah yeah it happened and at first i was like no no no i want all the groups to be together but actually it's so fine no one loves you anymore yeah it really is and if they're your true friends you'll pick up just what you left off when you last exactly people float in and out of your life for a reason and come into your life and leave it alive for a reason and if it happens it happens don't force or get upset about things yeah go with the flow go trust the process fanduel casinos exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying i do who wants this last parachute i do

enjoy the number one feeling winning in an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on FanDuel Casino where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. two years I've not went for one anyway this one's a long one so I'm going to read it slower because I know I'm quite fast my friend is getting married this summer and I'm so happy for her but it's starting to get very expensive with all the expectations

oh my god I've heard a lot of people saying this I had to buy my own bridesmaid dress and shoes without getting a choice she's asked for us to cover her whole hem which is a weekend away I do think that is the I'll be

okay i mean let's just she's on holiday i'm not night yes boiling here is that yeah we deserve it right she's up sorry sorry bad for dilemma she's asked for us to cover her whole hem which is weekend away i do think that is what you do, right? Traditional, that is. But also, there's a level of, like, we have to understand someone's financial situation. Yeah, a five-star hotel is a bit like, no. Or Mykonos, like, let's do five days.

I want a private jet. You have to manage expectations and understand people's budgets. Like, you can't. We've been asked to attend a bridal shower and a number of other events that have cost a lot of money, and we have to cover two nights away for the wedding where do we draw the line is it okay at this point to say i can't spend money on a wedding present oh god because the wedding present as well i'm so excited for the wedding present did you all know that you can literally but choose

your own wedding prayers and get people to donate towards it so i can choose a holiday and get people to pay for it. It's just genius. I might get myself a... We have a throw... So if you're not getting married anytime soon, you still get to excited. Oh, I'm already planning what to do. Is it okay at this point?

Okay, me and all my friends are on quite low incomes and as we're just out of uni, we feel the same, but we don't know if we can say anything. The wedding doesn't even have a free bar. Oof, okay. So I was invited one of harry's friends had this big fancy wedding and it was really lovely i wasn't invited to like the ceremony because it was quite limited i remember this and then we just become friends but everyone had to pay for their own alcohol apart from at the sit-down meal so before the

ceremony and the whole party after especially this wedding was like a very fancy venue i'm like then you need to like sort of understand okay well maybe we shouldn't have it such a big fancy venue we should maybe do it like down so we can afford it and so we can afford it and treat everyone i think that you need to manage expectations you can always just say look champagne or whatever prosecco whatever anything else you pay for yourself on us if you want spirits pay for it yourself i would probably at this point be like i'm so sorry i don't know if i can afford like to buy what i genuinely can't pay my rent and pay for this wedding like it's literally yeah it's me too i'd be like i genuinely can't be like i really want to contribute this is what i can contribute yes and be totally honest just be really honest and if everyone's feeling the same way then

everyone should just be like look we want obviously we need to have the best time but maybe we should do it this way so we can afford it or whatever or maybe or like unfortunately this is all we can contribute and like yeah that's all i can physically do i mean you can't make yourself bankrupt over your first wedding it's not even your bloody wedding i just buy your own alcove and take it to the hotel room with you yeah but then wherever the venue is just keep it in your handbag like put yeah yeah like if you know take a big canvas handbag with you or a big old bag just put a couple bottles in there for yourself i'm sure all your girlfriends are doing the same thing a couple bottles no you know how much you want to keep stocked up no but also a wedding is a long old

day normally they start what like three in the afternoon and they carry on until like four in the morning. Is that the right etiquette? I haven't got a frigging Scooby. I don't personally think it is, but maybe we're completely wrong. Let us know what you guys think. I think for this girl,

I think expected to pay for your own bridesmaid dress, I think that's a bit strange. If you can't afford the dresses, don't have bridesmaids. Or just say wear something that you've got or would you be able to wear something in this color you can choose whatever it is because she's not even giving them like an option of budget she's just saying this is the dress buyer that's quite savage because you know she might be choosing a really expensive dress and shoes surely she can wear her own shoes surely obviously that's that's a little bit unnecessary

the hen do i do think it's lovely obviously to treat your girlfriend we're gonna take you for one last night or yeah but it's not the whole weekend away it's a bit like we'll just do lunch if you're gonna ask she's not meant to have anything to do with it so she's not meant to choose it's meant to be fully planned by the bridesmaids and and her best friends so they should all between between them come up with the budget okay right this is what we can afford guys let's do this and then you all agree on it and it's a complete surprise for the bride that's normally the deal she can't be like guys i want to do this this and this and then make your favorite it's that from the sounds of this dilemma it's a bit it's tough because you don't want to

upset your best friend it's a very magical day for them but if you can't afford it you can't afford it you really like it's not really it's you have to put your foot down at some point yeah you've got it and and look it's the way you deliver things isn't it it's not the way you don't have to sit in an aggressive way and and the truth is you would want to do it if you could afford it but you literally can't and that's not your fault she it also it kind of just dampens the mood like i feel like people will just be a bit like oh how much does that cost you know and a wedding's like meant to just be like one of those days I don't know I might be being really but you wouldn't say everyone I'm gonna I'm gonna have a 10th birthday my kid but all of you have to

like but you do get 30th so people are like well this is what it is per head and it is quite a bit acceptable you know when people are like do you want to come for this dinner it's going to be this much birthdays are different but if you're hosting a party that's different like if you're like if it's a your house yeah and you're like i'm gonna get a caterer but it's actually 60 quid a head it's a bit of well actually no i'd rather probably go to like a nice restaurant of my choice yeah so i mean in conclusion i think me and soph on the same page that you are totally in the right to be a little bit concerned and worried and want to not pay for all these things and i do think bring it up i'm thinking about in my head this is going to be like this is going to cost you like surely around three grand not three no but i'm thinking like if you've got to pay for the hen do the

wedding and you want to pay for your accommodation then you want to pay for the dress i'm thinking and three weddings night away so that's gonna be like 200 quid ahead i know and then you've got all the alcohol that you're gonna have to buy for her that's a lot that's a lot really a lot this is a very controversial topic i'm just putting out yeah it's just our opinion we are not like obviously what we're saying is not a gospel this is just like our initial like we probably don't know enough background but i think if you if they had said to everybody right guys we're having a wedding day on this date we cannot afford to pay for any of the alcohol however we'd love you to come totally understand if you can't but if you'd love to come

celebrate with us there will be a bar there but you'd have to pay for your drinks obviously not expecting anyone to come that's like maybe different if they're like look we'd love you to celebrate with us have a night out or whatever. Yeah. But no, we're having a three day wedding. You're all paying for your booze. I was a bit like, oh, I'm not going to come then. Three days as well.

It's like you've got to have some cash in the bank to do that anyway. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, it's a very controversial topic. It's quite, I just am with you. I think it's a bit full on. I think fair enough, the bride might just be like, thinking my day, my way, the highway,

but I think you're, completely within your rights, to say to her, look, I'm so sorry, I'd love to support you, and I want to do everything, I can,

but I physically really, would be sort of, out of sorts, if I put all of this money, also fresh out of uni, got student loan to pay, Jesus, you know what I mean,

yeah, yeah, I know what you mean, honey, right, so we're with you, I think bring it up up in a really nice way and and just be truthful the truth she's your friend honestly like you can't fight with honesty

yeah totally one of my friends always leaves the night early to have a one-night stand oh for god's sake even birthdays how do i tell her i think i don't think it's good form tell her straight up mate can you not oh i've had a friend like this you've got to yeah yeah you've got to sit them down and be like it's not exactly but she probably won't ever change you guys sometimes you just with friends you've got to just think that it's malicious no it's just who she is she obviously even just really horny and like sex or maybe she's gone in you know she needs that security from boys by having one that sounds like there are sometimes there is reasons behind it

obviously yeah but sometimes you can't just change someone do you know what it's a bit rude to just leave yeah but sometimes we've all got that friend we've got friends who do that i actually don't know if i do have a friend that just goes yeah we've got friends who do that but boys are a bit you know different and boys almost like cheer it on it's like they're like yeah go mate i think any single boy would leave a boy's night out to go sleep with a girl oh anyone but you should put your friends first i do think i do think that you should maybe yeah i do think it's a bit of girl code and you should put your friends first especially if it's a birthday like a birthday for that reason it's a bit rude so i think maybe

just be like look if you want a casual night out like fine but like it did kind of hurt my feelings when you left on my birthday like i would love for you to be there like obviously we all love you and want you around i mean you just yeah i'd be like can you not do that it kind of disappoints me yeah because i'm sure she wouldn't like it if you did it to her on her birthday if you all just left for a one-night stand it's hard with girls isn't it because you do tend to think like i'm trying to put myself in the girl's position the girl receiving that might be like oh they're attacking me like you know i just want to go and have sex like do you know what i mean girls are such tricky characters like a boy but that was sweet sorry me or like no but you know what it's like doing you know what it's like doing to me i know it's slightly

different but it's like her leaving your birthday and going having a drink with another friend i know it's terrible it's just her leaving it's just it's yeah it's bad form so maybe yes maybe don't mention why she's doing it i would probably just be like why do you keep leaving my birthday early like for these events early like are we not good enough like yeah i find it quite hard yeah yeah the fourth and final turn out now friendship breakuphip breakup years ago. Do you turn causing a lot of negative vibes and gossip? Do I give her a second chance? Yes.

But also no. I know, it's difficult. I think when you get older, you kind of just shut out the negativity and you're just like, oof, no. Don't have enough time for that. But I'm definitely at that stage in life where anyone that's been negative to me, I'm kind of like, done. I know, like, negative to me, I'm kind of, like, done. I know.

Yeah, same. I don't think also with girls it ever goes back to what it was, ever. A hundred percent you're right. I hate to say this, but, like, there's that awkwardness. If we've ever had, like, a proper, proper fight, it never goes back. It never goes back. There's always that lingering thing in the back of your mind, and you're always trying overcompensate yes i really love you we're such good friends but no actually we're not because we did fall out for six months or two months or one week or whatever like any yeah oh i

don't know one of my best best friends in the world chrissy we did actually fall out when we yeah we fell out really badly and like it't, it genuinely did probably make us stronger. So, I guess it depends what the fallout was. Yeah, it totally was on the situation. But it wasn't for a long period of time. It was, like, whilst we were travelling. Oh, we've got another one.

Oh, now we've got Jamie Lange in the background. Guys. Both boyfriends have lurked in and lurked out. Jamie, what do you think of this? Okay, so a girl friendship, they fell out ages ago. As in years ago. Yes. They fell out years ago.

Okay. Does she give the friend a second chance? I say no. I say yes. Okay, there's two things here. So I, just very quickly, I fell out with a friend at school, really badly. We never became friends again. I then fell out with Sam Thompson over things, things that happened to you and I. And then I went and did a thing in Japan with a guy called

Daryl, who's a great guy. And he said to me that he was going out with a girl, he was going out with a girl. And his best friend, he broke up with her. Actually, he didn't break up with her, but his best friend then and her hooked up and then they got married. Oh, okay. He never made up with his best friend. But he said to this day, he says he regrets not making up.

He says you should always try and make up with people. I think you're so right, actually. You're so true. If I hadn't made up with those girls who have had those big arguments, although it hasn't gone quite back to how it was, I'm calm and, like, content with my decision. But if I hadn't made up, I would have still felt sad about it.

So give her another chance. And it probably won't go back to what it was, but you'll have a friendship. If she's come back into your life, like, organically. Oh, yeah, I do think give her another chance. Because now I think about it, even those friendships who I have had big arguments with and i thought you know but we're never gonna be friends again it was always something i get sad about like now and again it popped into my mind and i'd really miss them or i'd feel like there was a sadness in my soul about it you know what i mean right and even though now we're friends and it's not quite how it used to be i'm content with that

yeah i know you mean I've had a friendship where I've drifted apart from her and like I don't think I'd be friends with her ever again that's only one that's one person but like other friendships I guess we've had like little tiffs and little fallouts and it's been totally fine but we share no mutual friends we share like literally nothing so it's like I don't think she'd ever come back into my life anyway it depends what the argument's about as well it depends depends what she did to you. Totally. But I think follow your gut. I think giving someone a second chance is always, you know, a good thing.

And if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. At least you tried. That's my opinion of it. You gave it your all. Totally. I'm going to do a complaint to all you lovely listeners. So close to the mic. It is, once again, my complaint is this. Don't do the same

about talking to your girl. I'm not doing it. Is it the mess in the background? Is it the boxes in the background? No, it's not. Listen to my complaint. In the middle of the night, if Sophie wakes up

and she has a problem, like it's a bad dream or she needs something, she won't sort it out herself. She will wake me up, make me go downstairs and get her paracetamol or something like that. Yeah, I got a heat

stroke on Tuesday and I... It's not a heat stroke. It's not a heat stroke. Yeah, I did. I was on a boat all day, boiling hot. It's not a heat stroke. Heat stroke, you wouldn't be able to move. You just wake me up. I had such a headache at like 2am. I was like, Jimmy, wake up. I had a heat stroke. And he was like, what do you want me to do about it?

I was like, you need to go get me a paracetamol. I was so tired when I got downstairs I started retching because I was so tired I started going because I was so tired that's weird

it is I did I was that tired I felt sick I was that tired right what's Harry's on okay so Harry's one about me will be

I panic book flights okay I panic book flights I'm like my parents are very like last minute as in like book anything book dinner wherever like my parents are like yeah yeah yeah just book it go on and then i'm like okay okay okay we're out of pressure we have to put the flights now we have to put them now we have to put them now the price is going to go up price is going to go up and i make it i make him book flights and then we always

always always have to change them every single time did you change these ones that's brilliant we have had to change that's very Jamie Harry's changed his flights

four times for this trip to book flights last year oh I used to book them now now I can't why are you talking about

boys someone's had too many glasses of this rose I have Sophie looks livid at Jamie I's had too many glasses of this rosé. I have. Sophie looks livid at Jamie. I've had too many glasses of this rosé. Anyway, my campaign is going to be next.

Okay, love you all listeners. Bye, Presh. Bye. Bye. Well, look, I'm with you. I panic book. No, I don't. Because I'm kind of like, I don't want the price to go up.

And he's like, can we just make sure that the plan's solidified before we do that? And I'm like, just do it now, just do it. You're Jamie and I'm Harry in this situation. We have to change it so many times. Shall we rate the wine? Let's give the wine a good old rating. I'm going to rate this quite high because I've... I don't know whether it's because I've not drank a lot.

I've not drank rosé for a while, but I'm giving it an 8.5. Yeah, I haven't got any ice, and the flavour's been really lovely. Like, really, really lovely. I really enjoyed it. It's, like, quite fruity. Take a photo of it, perhaps. Should I see what... Let's see what the back says.

Jamie's mum loves this wine. That's why I've had this wine before. It doesn't say anything, but it's really nice. I'm going to actually pour myself another little glass to end this podcast. On that note, guys, have a wonderful week. Have a lovely week. Write into us. Let us know your dilemmas.

Follow us up with all of your dilemmas because we love hearing. Yeah, we love a good follow-up. Oh, the follow-ups are the best. We love you guys. Have the best of life. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling,

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responsibly. That's it for this week, Wednesdays, but God, don't you just fancy some more Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations. And it's super easy. You just listen on your favorite app. How cool is that? Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.