Wednesdays - Ep 24: Do I want to settle down in my 20's?

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

Hey guys, we hope you’ve all had the most lovely week. This week we’re discussing your relationship dilemmas about settling down, break ups, and we share our best tips to approaching someone cute at the bar! Plus this ep we have the first of Melissa’s single diaries… please can someone help us find Melissa’s mystery man!!This week we are drinking a New Press Sauvignon Blanc!https://www.specialistcellars.co.uk/product/new-press-sauvignon-blanc-2019/We rate this wine:Melissa - 7Sophie - 7.5Much love,S & M xP.S. Keep on sliding into our DMs with all your dilemmas... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Hey guys, it's Sophie here. I'm Melissa. And welcome to our new podcast, Wednesday's We Drink Wine. Hey guys.

Happy Wednesday. Why do we always say it in that weird old i don't know this is like a bit like oh hey guys hey guys hear me i've got a surprise for you another friend's reference in case you don't know you know what's funny now i'm watching friends over i'm actually watching it there's certain things i'm like i've never noticed that yeah yeah loads loads so um you're actually watching i love what you say now we're now i'm watching again like no as in like when it's when it finishes i like restart the series from scratch all the time like when i finish it it just starts again but then i actually sat down and watched an episode rather just being on the background yeah yeah yeah oh so good do you was like, oh, so good. Do you know what I'm re-watching?

Tell me. God, I have too much time on my hands. Desperate, no, real, no, desperate housewives. Housewives. I need to maybe re-watch that. I feel like I need to give it a bit more time because I re-watched it. I watched it last summer and I'm re-watching it now. So, yeah.

Oh, yeah, so same as me. Oh, no, no. You watched it after me because remember I was like, Oh, you have to watch it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you haven't watched that guys, wow. It's real good. I also think I should re-watch Sex and the City now I'm single.

My friend said that that would be really good. I never loved it. What? Yeah you loved it. That was great. Sarah Jessica Parker really annoys me. She really annoys my mum as well. What is it? I love her. She really irritates me to the point where I can't watch it. Apparently there's a whole article on things that annoy people about Sarah Jessica Parker. Oh no, now I feel her. She really irritates me, like, to the point where I can't watch it. Apparently there's a whole article on things that annoy people about Sarah Jessica Parker.

Oh, no, now I feel bad. As in, like, I don't know what it is. She bugs a lot of people. She's really arrogant. Like, I feel like she just thinks that she loves herself so much. I'm like, calm down, love. Okay, right, before we say any more, we're just pouring ourselves a glass because it's needed. Yeah.

So, this was given to us by a really amazing... Really sweet company. And it's a serving young, and it's actually. Yeah. So, this was given to us by a really amazing Really sweet company. And it's a serving yong and it's actually really lovely. I like this one. Have you tried this one? Yeah, because they sent us two bottles and I had one already. Oh, come on, treat yourself.

Okay, ready? I deserve it. Oh. I'm sniffing. Smells nice. Smells like, I smell that apricot in there. That stone fruit. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Smell that grass. Actually, no, no, smell it though. Can you smell grass and apricot in there that stone fruit smell that grass actually don't know you smell it though smell that grass can you smell grass and apricot I can honestly smell like part of it no you know what I can smell

stone fruit you're trying to stiff my room like do you no I'm trying to get a clear scent first and then go back to it like must

no I'm joking I know what you mean no it tastes like pure apricots and plumsums it's real nice it's not sweet at all is it it's very really nice i could drink that the whole time it's actually nicer than like a normal peanut yeah okay yeah all servings like this i'd love it but this is not a typical tasting serving at all is it that is a buying what the hell we've been really spoiled with you

it's from mulbra am i saying that right in new zealand in new zealand but look and we'll take the photo it's called new press it looks quite cool and it's very like new york cool this is the company they sent us a load of wine it was very sweet 2019 it's done it's called the specialist sellers.co.uk amazing massive shout out to them because that is honestly that is not an ad that is just the most delicious and they sent us a lovely rosé and a red and i've had them i melissa gave me the rosé to try and i oh no wait they sent us one each i think well you drank all of it then oh no wait no i brought i can't remember what happened with the other maybe this i think those two are still in my fridge. Oh my God. I was like, who the hell am I with?

Anyway. Yes. Massive shout out to you. Yes. It's really lovely. Lovely. Thank you very much for sending us this. Yeah. Going down a tree. Going down an absolute tree. Couple topics to cover. We do have a couple topics to cover. What are our topics? Let's dive straight in. Okay, right, before we dive in, something exciting happened to me on the way here, guys. Remember Melissa's single. Okay, so this is a very new, fresh thing for me. Quite exciting. So on the way here, this is just stuff that happens.

I think when you're single, suddenly like fit people just appear everywhere and you're like, what the fuck? I don't even remember that happening when I think when you're single, suddenly like, fit people just appear everywhere and you're like, what the fuck? I don't even remember that happening when I was single. I think it's because you're, you're looking, whereas when you're in a relationship, you're just not noticing it at all. No,

but, oh, no, no, but I've been single. And it happened to you. Anyway, I was walking on the way here

and I was like, approaching Sloane Square Tube and there was this guy moving in and I was like, ooh, he looks quite nice. Moving in, what do you mean?

Moving into like, one of those really nice like, like you know like approaching she's definitely got her eyes out and he had like really blue eyes and i was like oh wow anyway got closer and closer and he just like stopped and i was just like staring at me like stunning wine i was like what is it like i fuck you that's what they say i was like oh my god and it was like this stare down and i was like walking towards him and i was like oh my god am i walking funny like you know you like shit what's out of it and i was like oh i was like getting nervous approaching him then we walked past and i was like oh it's over it's over right that's it that's it Melissa I was on

the edge guys she was like oh my god he's gonna come over and kiss you no he's gonna run after you

I'm sorry I had to stop you in the street you're the closest guy I've ever seen no well there's still time

you might find your next food whoever that boy is I know where he lives so I can just knock on his door no you're gonna like walk past that street

it's gonna be one of those you're gonna I guarantee you you're gonna walk past that street. It's going to be one of those. I guarantee you're going to walk past that street so many times. I do every day to get on my feet. Oh, here we go. Yeah, I'll just make a little note. Melissa, I'm crying. How funny. I knew that that's just like a silly little thing,

but that's something that would never happen in a relationship because you wouldn't even bother looking. And I was like, oh, quite nice. He obviously fancies me a bit. A bit of confidence, please. Lovely. looking and i was like oh quite nice like he obviously like fancies me a bit guys look this is if you want to follow in anyone's steps you've got to back yourself as much as melissa does because i mean the comment there fancies me literally fancies me okay so when we used to say i was on main jealousy me and sophie i made this joke once that someone asked me oh he just fancies me do you remember oh right on the phone no no no no we were filming

and someone said we were filming oh i thought you said on the phone to be fair he probably did but i was like i beg your pardon no he didn't but it's like also when anyone's a bit of a ditch i'm like yeah he fancies me guys it's all coming out now obviously they don't and it's just a joke but it's just like quite funny to say it oh yeah amazing no but then you started saying it i rubbed it off and you're like yeah i think he fancies me too i think mine was a hundred percent oh my god i'm crying i am crying wait are they our topics we're talking about no we're not sorry just had to

slip that one in there guys oh okay well obviously he probably didn't fancy me we were just having a bit of a stir and it was quite exciting

and I was like oh she'd love a bit of that well so you're manifesting that shit he's probably gonna really slide into the DMs he doesn't have any

how would he slide into my DMs I know you're a well known manifesto you're oh by the way my name is this you're famous didn't you know that can you help me because i've lost track of where we are and i've got a terrible cold and you just throw me off with that comment guys i'm not sure if you can tell them stuff i feel like we both sound quite nasally yeah we do sorry i just i threw the whole podcast off there of course but you made my day don't worry i'm fairly honest i love it how you were sat on the side. I feel like we both sound quite nasally. Yeah, we do. Sorry, I just, I threw the whole podcast off there.

Of course. Yeah, but you made my day, don't worry. I'm fairly honest. I love it how you were sat on the edge of your seat expecting something so much and very exciting to happen. Okay, Met Gala.

Let's discuss. Oh! Who was your favourite? Zoe. Let's say three, two, one. I'm going to say Megan Fox. Oh! She was banging.

Oh, wait. Was that in the red? Yeah, red. No, I don't like the frame red no I don't like the fringe so I don't like the fringe but it was like with the theme I rate it

there were some people I was like I'm sorry Hayley Bieber I know she looked banging but I was like not a Met Gala no for me no for me

sorry says you and I who literally wear black to everything we would if we were invited to the Met Gala we would wear a set

out of that no I would also sorry guys we need to discuss that. It's going around that Justin and Hayley are pregnant. Did you see the clip? No, no, no. So they zoom in, they're having their photo taken,

and Justin, like, starts looking at her stomach, and he puts his hand on her stomach, both hands, like as though, obviously, he's holding a bump. And they zoom in, and she basically says, don't make it obvious, like, smiles at him. There, baby, shut the front door. door oh my god if she's very young how old is she i think she's younger than us she's like 22 yeah but i mean you've got that much money what's you know what are you waiting for next it's not like they have to wait around yeah yeah yeah me and so you're just down a huge couple like that oh god we're not

anywhere near that well i'm definitely not you're right i'm not sure about her glasses personally i thought the glasses actually made it cooler and like added something different but it just kind of looked like she was gonna she was going to the golden globes or something to me i thought the glasses were like three blind mice mice i was like what's going on here i really like kendall's i think for an outfit whoa that was with the theme and like all that like met golly like kendall perfect sorry no no no but i kind of just like a shadow just think she's so sick that i just love it sorry no i can't get she does no wrong she does no wrong i just find it just don't understand it. I don't think anyone understands it.

The whole thing. Yeah, but it's meant to cause a reaction, isn't it? Have you seen how all these hilarious memes... The memes. Oh, my God, they're killing me. They're making me cry. I think Kim, for me, was... I didn't even say she was a winner.

Yeah, that is the outfit I would go in. No, wait, I can't pronounce her surname, and it's embarrassing, but Zoe Kravitz. Oh, I know, she's so beautiful. She's always been, like, my girl. it's embarrassing but zoe oh i know she's so she's always been like my girl i just like i'm obsessed so beautiful okay zoe isabella kravitz you know going out with channing tate yeah we all know who she is she's well anyway i think she's one of the fittest people ever i met fully obsessed with her from mostly pretty little lies or whatever um a Big Little Lies, yeah, same. Unreal in that film.

Just a joke. Also, a film I watched a fair recently where she was much younger, and I'm like, oh my God, you're literally incredible. Yeah, those cheekbones. I know, I'm the next. Everything about her is just unbelievable. Ice, is that what you say?

Who else? Sorry, I could talk about the Met girl forever. Who else? Okay, Emily Ratt. I really like what Emily Ratt was wearing. But again, not that, not that Met. Like, it was a kind of like but what do you mean by met do you want them to come with a pair on their head no okay do you

remember the year that ken and carly both wore those stunning outfits with the feathers and it was very yeah like last year not 2019 yeah and then emily and then emily rat emily rat wore this amazing outfit there's like these wings coming off oh yeah yeah that's very met gala like they give a theme and you go with it what you will what there was a theme for this year yeah i don't know what it was more sleep that's why i think it was like whatever you but what's the theme let's have a look yeah let's have a look anyway i feel like everyone i i personally we can't judge it's not like we've been fucking met gala like now do you know what someone i saw an influencer the other day right i don't know it's a controversial topic,

but they were like, people spend... Imagine the amount of time they spend styling it, going to it, getting their head. I know, a lot of pressure. Imagine the pressure that goes into it. Imagine how shit scared they are about to walk up. But it's part of their career, isn't it?

And then imagine going and then getting their outfit ripped to shreds. And I was like, do you know what? That's so right. We should just be fair enough. Does anyone get their outfit ripped to shreds? Well, no, but also Kim, it's like, she obviously wanted the con fashions. She's got great fashion sense.

She went with Kanye, right? Kim has terrible fashion sense. She went with Kanye? No, it was Balenciaga. It was a guy from Balenciaga. Oh, my God. That was very confusing. I know. I was like, sorry, they're back together.

I remember you messaged me like, are they back together? And I was like, golly gosh, I'm not sure. You just don't know don't know but there was several other pictures of her where she's done

the same outfit for the us party no like before the Met Gala she's been wearing this like all black situation on her Instagram for like weeks so I almost feel like

thank you pardon yeah I almost feel like she's got maybe it's quite skimmed she might be like there's something coming with something

god we're just like really we just have a gossip while you like look Maybe it's quite skimmed. She might be, like, There's something coming with something. God, we're just, like, really... We just have a gossip while you... Like, look, she's been doing this, Balenciaga. No, because she's obviously, like, pat-trying on her Met outfits. You would never give away that, that long before. You wouldn't do that.

I'm wondering if you would know, to be fair. But she keeps doing all those things Balenciaga, and she's, like, covering her face. Mate, she's obviously becoming, like... There's something going on. This is what I'm wondering if you would know, to be fair. But she keeps doing all those things Balenciaga and she's, like, covering her face. Mate, she's obviously becoming, like... There's something going on. This is what I'm thinking. I'm like, there's a... This is a big statement.

Is this a huge publicity stunt build-up to something sick? Theme was, like, American designers. Oh, right, American fashion. So she's basically being like, this is me, i have everything i wear will get ripped to shreds so i'm just going to be a silhouette of myself that's my interpretation of it see you later drop the mic i think she's being like look everything i wear oh no no got it she's going i'm sexualized for whatever i wear oh so i'm just my i'm So I'm just my, I'm going to be this, show my body.

Everyone says I sexualize everything. I'm going to cover up everything, and let's see how you like it then. I actually don't think she gives a fuck about being sexualized. Yeah, but she's making a statement. There's a message behind that. Yeah, she's there. There's something going on. Either it's a publicity stunt or there's a deep, dark message,

and we're going to hear about it soon, I feel like. It's not just like, this is my outfit. I look great. It's not that, is it? A deep, dark message, and we're going to hear about it soon, I feel like. It's not just like, this is my outfit, I look great. It's not that, is it? There's something, as in like, there's something deeper going on, definitely, behind the scenes.

This isn't just like, stunning outfit, I'm going to wear that. That isn't the idea. There's been a lot of thought. I feel like Kanye's behind this shit. This is the sort of thing he does. I wish we had eyes for this,

do you know what I mean? Soph wants a bit of eyes. Should we go get the waiter? Jamie. Ring, ring. Oh, we're little some listener messages. Should I read one? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I work for the NHS and the podcast are what help my colleagues and I online on the way home. Thank you. Oh, my God. That is honestly so wholesome. I literally walked my house out. That really has warmed my heart. Oh, that's so lovely. Okay, I've got one.

Hi. Not a question or dilemma, but just wanted to say i absolutely love the podcast it's so much fun and i love being able to listen each week i'm doing the three peaks challenge at the end of september in aid of mind the mental health charity and we'll definitely be saving that week's podcast to listen to on the way up yay i would love it if you could try and give it a shout out i'm trying to create as much awareness as possible especially after such a difficult year for everyone lots of love huge shout out to that amazing listener who was doing um the three peak challenge at the end of september in aid of mind and mental health charity we'll we'll put amazing yeah we'll just swipe up um to the charity and hopefully you guys can donate because that's incredible and well done you. Yeah, well done.

And now... And now... On to the week's theme. To break up or not to break up with your other half. Let's try that again. To break up or not to break up with your other half

and navigating being newly single oh my god so he's literally introducing us if it's a movie and melissa on that note how are you can you shed some light on those topics okay so also just want to reiterate again obviously it was a very amicable breakup guys i've had a lot of people message me like oh my god did he cheat on you no not at all nicest boy in the world no he absolutely did not honestly nicest guy in the world he deserves the best and he will find a wonderful but we just grew out of each other and it's been the best thing for both of us it really really has yeah and he grew out he is honestly blossoming into his own person yeah he's that's true, yes. He's doing so great. We both are.

It was the best thing we ever did. I really actually do think so. Yeah. And it's honestly all good in the head, guys. There is no bad blood. It's just, you know, one of those things. We met when I was 20, guys. I was a baby.

Yeah, it's true. God, you're only 24 now. I'm cracking on now. Number one dilemma. Do I want to settle down? Okay. Hey, girlies. Firstly, love the podcast dilemma here i'm 23 and a few years younger than my boyfriend we've been together for almost three years he's my best friend we have the best relationship etc and i really couldn't ask for more in a person however i do sometimes have this creeping doubt in the back of my head

sometimes about whether i want to settle down. I was only 20 when we got together, and at the time all I wanted was to find the one, but now sometimes I just want to be single and think about me. We're so comfortable that I worry it's lost the passion, and I do sometimes want that first love feeling, although I know it fades and what I have is the real deal. We're going to be moving in together, plans to live abroad, etc, together, share best friends, etc, so I can't even imagine how we begin to break up. Did you ever feel this way? I'm just getting normal, am I just getting normal commitment phobia? Any tips on getting through? He genuinely is amazing and I don't want to throw away a good thing please keep me anonymous okay this is exactly the battle that I had in my head

because my ex and we don't have to not say his name but he was such an incredible person we never argued he compliment me he loved me so much he was so respectful we trusted each other 100% and I was like oh my god I'm so lucky but sometimes you do just grow out of things and when you're 20 you are only such a baby like you really are like I'm a different person like I think so differently about things now I'm older and I almost think like I think the creeps of doubt for me and probably him were going through our minds maybe a year ago like just little ones that you kind of like suppress like oh what am i thinking like this is great you know that's so stupid to think like that whatever but like sometimes you do need i don't know someone to like bring something out differently in you and like being

not arguing and being so great all the time sometimes just isn't enough like I know that now I want that excitement and that like I know like seeing you and Jamie like how excited you are to be around each other all the time and you've been together for so long right and I know that obviously when you're like when you're first together with someone it's all exciting and passionate and like it's very sexy and mysterious and whatever and obviously that does fade because you get to know somebody but then i do think that it grows into a deeper love and you're so so invested that the doubts shouldn't be there and if there's one seeping doubt that keeps coming back then you have to just do something about it right like if there's doubts there then it's just not right it's not right no matter how many things

are right i remember really you melissa called me when she was having like doubts and she just said flat out you've had these thoughts about jamie haven't you and i just went no no i said have you i didn't say you have i said have you ever had anything like this? And you were like, no, I haven't. I was almost like going to be like, yeah, yeah, I have to sort of reassure you. But I was just like, no, I really haven't. And I think that's so telling. And I think like you have to listen. You know, it's true what people say.

You've got to listen to your gut and listen to your intuition. And it's hard to like differentiate between your heart and your gut and your intuition or whatever because you know you may love somebody and that like makes you your brain think yeah i'll stay with them but i think your gut always does know yeah it's true and also i think that you're feeling this now and i don't know maybe it will go away but for me i'm like once you start getting those doubts like they just don't go away and they just become more and more and more overpowering to the point where you just you almost can't be in the same room as them because it's like I I would have or I had so much love and respect for that person I was like I can't lie like I just feel so guilty I just feel so awful and and sometimes you have to because

it's very unfair on them at the end of the day if you're like you know not yeah you can't you it's so unfair on them you're wasting their time you're having doubts ultimately and it's going to be best for them also in the long run so my advice would be if it was me in your position on reflecting on what's just happened to me I would get yourself to a state where you are so mentally prepared and you know exactly what you want and don't deny yourself the option of breaking up with them because it is possible you're not married you don't have children even people with that are married with children get divorced like it happens all the time it's just life and you

have to just make the decision for you yeah you have to put yourself first yeah you really do and by trying to put someone else first you often just make it worse yeah because then it's ultimately unfair on them at that point which isn't good either fanduel casinos exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying i do who wants this last parachute i do enjoy the number one feeling winning in an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on fan duel casino where winning is undefeated 19 plus and physically located in ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca please play responsibly On to the second dilemma.

Being single and approaching people in a bar. Ask Jamie if he's home. He is home. Yeah. Hey, you've been a beckon for this dilemma. Okay, should I say it? Yeah. I've been single for coming up to a year now. I was wondering

if you had any tips on talking to people in a club or bar if you find them attractive and want to let them know maybe ask jamie too i've had enough of dating apps and having meaningless conversations on them i instead want to start conversations with guys out and about oh god that's scary and why is that scary boys don't flipping come up to people at night. Yeah, they do. They never come up to me. People make eye contact, and then that's it. Then you've got to move in on the eye. Oh, no, no, no, I can't do that.

People don't come up to you because on nights out you smell. You smell really weird. I would say, like, confidence, right? It's all about confidence. Yeah. And that's quite hard to have sometimes, but I think having confidence is a really good thing and act like you don't care i think ultimately so basically you yeah but if you act like you don't care like so you're almost a bit weird like

let your weird inner self come out then it looks like you're not trying too hard like when when people are the worst is when like a boy tries to come over to you and they're really like trying to act like oh god're like, oh God. The people that try too hard is the worst thing ever. It's the biggest turn off. Biggest turn off. That was you, Jamie. What?

I mean, I was never a try hard, ever. Yeah, you are. I used to play quite cool in clubs, I think. Not with me. Yeah, so if you were going to go up to a girl, if you were going to go up to a girl, what would you do? Stranger.

I would. If he would go, hey, he'd go, hey, doll. Hey, doll. Doll? Wait, doll'd go hey doll wait doll hey doll hey chick no i would not and it also gets so he'd be like just go kiss again i think i think honestly my advice would be if you fancy someone in the club give them a look act confident pretend you don't care that much, but keep sort of looking at them. Oh, God, you creep. Oh, yeah.

Call the security guard. Call the security guard? What, on your foot? What do you mean you call the security guard? I'm going, security guard, this guy's eye-fucking me over in the corner. It's freaking me out. Fucking me. I don't know.

I haven't been, I haven't dated anyone for, like, the last four years. Be open enough and to the, you basically back the boy over. Like you just give it. He's off to play games. Love it. Game me. I think that is an epic idea that you want to go out up to boys. And I agree.

Dating apps suck balls. Sorry, Vanessa, you're up for a good ride with that. Personally. Haven't done dating app yet. Yeah, you had a bad experience. Oh, no, you had it for a bit and you were like haven't done dating yet yeah you had a bad experience oh no you had it for a bit and you're like nothing no just like oh no it's just not for me yeah it's hard you know i think ultimately the worst he's gonna do is say no the worst but maybe don't go up and be like can i have your number maybe just like oh it's quite crowded in here

you know when like do you know what a good thing to do is like you know like when you're in a club and everyone's barging around like hopefully you're in a busy one then you can sort of like fall on your own and be like oh sorry and then he'll be like oh it's okay and then you'll be like ah i don't know where my friends are slash they're arriving you know like shit like that i'd rather do that than i don't know i just get with people and I'm joking I really do guys I'm fully joking I don't know this is making me nervous I've been thinking about it because I'm trying to put myself in the position I'm going to go after a boy and go Melissa's just going to go in the club and like turn around and just get with them

grab their face help you what the fuck socially inept been in a relationship too long this is not socially acceptable Sasha will be like how did i get so lucky no i don't know what to say maybe she'd like strap a gopro to you on a night out and snooze single mouth and see what's going on okay i'm so sorry that wasn't very helpful we're not very helpful and i feel like and you know what i'm really new to this so once i've like nailed it i'll let you guys know maybe i should break up with Jamie and just like get together yeah we should come on next one you I'm recently single after breaking up with my partner of two and a half

years we both struggled with our mental health during the pandemic and neither of us were the best version of ourselves but I found myself falling out of love. Our relationship started to feel very platonic and my sex drive went to zero. This freaked me out and led me to the decision to break up with him. I am 28, so I didn't want to waste time with the wrong person. But of course, now I'm single, I'm second guessing myself and doubting my decision. I miss him so much and the thought of being with anyone else is unappealing. Is it normal to question your decision after a breakup?

Was it the right thing to break up so soon as I no longer felt in love or should I have tried harder? My mind is all over the place. Okay, no, absolutely not. I think you've made the 100% the right decision. Do you think?

Yeah, I do. But why is she having second doubts? I don't know because it's like you miss that company and... No, but now everything's opened up again. I'm worried that, like... She didn't feel in love with him. Yeah, but maybe it was because she was in a really bad place

and, like, her sex drive... And I do know that if you're struggling mentally and you've got low mood, like, your sex drive... Not that I've experienced, but I do know from reading about things and, like, obviously listening to podcasts and stuff... It does make a difference. ..your sex drive does decrease massively so perhaps she was just feeling brilliant like the less you love yourself

how can you love someone else you know and she obviously sounded like she was having a bit of shit time he was having a bit of shit time so they obviously weren't much fun together and perhaps that will that's what clouded her judgment i do think lockdown was obviously make or break for a lot of people and if you are having doubts to the point where you're like oh my gosh i really need to give this another go then maybe you should because then you've crossed over that like what if part of your brain and like if it doesn't work then then you know that that's done yeah but from the sounds of the fact that you're saying you didn't feel in love with him i don't actually think that you've made the wrong decision because if i felt like i was with somebody and i was like i just don't love you i wouldn't want to be with

them there's a difference between being with someone and thinking like i still love you so much but there's no set but i do think that being you know mental health is a real thing and i think that whenever it like you know neither of us have really experienced it to that extent and i do think that there is a potential that can really cloud your judgment. I think that if you're desperately feeling like you don't want to get with anyone else and the thought of it really propulsives you and you're really crushing it, then, you know, I do think that is something to take into consideration. Yeah, probably.

Because I don't think that you should break up with someone and be like, Oh, I'm sick. In fact, are you repulsed by other people clearly not this blue eye beauty on the street who made you do terrible things because also there is the side of things where you don't want to live with regrets and yeah exactly you don't want to come back too late and him to have moved on and then you'd be like yeah but also everything comes for a reason if he does move on that take that as a sign you know what fine not meant to be then i need to just get over it and move on breakups are hard a lot of people break up and find it freaking difficult

dilemma four how do i break up with someone i live with hey girls i've been thinking about submitting this for a while and haven't had the guts but after hearing about melissa's breakup i really thought now was a good time to ask for some advice oh really sorry to talk about your breakup obviously i don't know if it's a rough time for you so i'm really sorry that's so sweet no worries we're all here we're being open and honest i currently live with my other half and haven't been happy for about 10 months wow and have wanted to break up i found having the conversation really really hard but even harder working out how i'm supposed to split with someone i live with i'm still really young 23 in a couple of weeks boy you're really young and i don't want to waste either of our time but i just don't know how to go

about something like that i could really do with some insight as to how i go about this right now and as i'm struggling to see a way out and it's suffocating me love you both and the podcast and saying please keep doing oh my god we love you Melissa this one's over to you okay so I feel like you've probably been in this situation as well where you've like needed to break up with someone but haven't but I think when you live with somebody it's obviously so difficult because you still care so much and from it sounds like from your point of view you're almost worried about how your boat I don't know what your living situation is, but when you live with someone,

it's difficult because you feel like you've invested so much in one another. And you've got to that point, you're like, can I throw this away? And if you've been having dance for 10 months, that's a very, that's not just like a one off down. And then you've had three months and there's nothing like this is,

this is serious. And I don't think that you should waste any more of your time, any more of his time, especially. And my advice is, you know, breaking up more of your time, any more of his time especially. And my advice is, you know, breaking up with someone is not the end of the world. You live together. That's nothing. Okay?

People get, they break up, they cheat on one another when they've got loads of children, when they've got businesses together, whatever. Like, you have to just think, I'm not going to waste. That can't be an excuse. That cannot be an excuse for you to stay in the relationship. No. The fact that you live together. You're having doubts. you don't want to waste any either of your time you're still so young yeah you've just got to do it you've just got to bite the bullet you have to be cruel to be kind and like it's going to be the nicest thing for you

to do for him as well because it's so unfair imagine if he if you knew that he was having those doubts and thoughts about you you would probably just break up with him yeah do you know what i mean like if i was with someone and i knew that they were having all these doubts i would be like well i can't be with you if you're having these doubts yeah so i think that you have to look at it like that and also like you just have to i know you just have to grow a fucking pair of balls at some point like that's just what happens and eventually you will but you'll get to a point where you are forced to do it because you just can't bear it any longer yeah you're lying so much yeah and you're lying so much and you feel so guilty and it's so difficult when no one's done anything wrong it's it's the hardest thing ever because it's you don't want to hurt someone's

feelings it's almost easy if they cheat on you. Oh my God, it's so much easier. And it gives you a scapegoat, you're done. But sometimes you do just fall in love or you grow out of somebody, especially when you are so young and you get together. And I think when you are in your early 20s, you completely transform into a whole other human being by the time you're 25. Like, I'm a different person.

Yeah. Right? So, I, you just, my advice would be to just follow your follow your gut forget about all the circumstances around you right now follow your gut everything else will fall into place you'll move out you're moving with a friend you're moving with your parents you'll live by yourself you will figure it out it doesn't matter you just have to get out and do what's best for you be selfish put yourself first you know you know that saying like i love you but i love me more like that's what you have to couldn't agree more yeah sorry

i feel like i'm ranting i'm so passionate no no no i love it that was such a good speech i like honestly feel like i'm invigorated even though i don't have anyone to break up with but i so agree um but when you've had dance in a relationship like you do it is true like everyone just drags it out now and out everyone drags it out yeah and you end up just like either hurting the other person making them hurt you you do something stupid you get the heck then you don't want to go near them like it's never the right way yeah just do it i mean obviously you know one doubt make sure one argument don't break up with them but if you're having gut doubt yeah yeah for 10 months i mean it's done it's done that is done yeah that's not just a one-off doubt like oh shit what's going

no it doesn't happen marriage it's not that no it's a dance for 10 months yeah you have to call that quiz yeah i also do think yeah couldn't agree more okay the single diaries oh oh oh this is a new little section we've got a new little section so we're gonna have my wind of the week paired with the single diaries which is much more interesting where melissa just gives us some of her okay well i feel like i i gave you i gave you a little bit of my life diaries at the beginning but i will tell you something weird that's happening to me when someone rejects me i fancy them yeah yeah obviously that's always happened to me the minute someone fancied me i was like yeah they're like hi me i'm like i love you i like know who you are i'm in love with you marry me oh my god this is what i had so i had my like five years well it was actually six years because covid put it off a year reunion before we all left school and there was this one

boy i kind of used to like date a bit and i kind of i messed him around and um i saw him at this reunion and i was like oh looking sexy okay anyway we got to a point we were somehow in conversation quite drunk and um he basically led me up the garden path a little bit like like having this this is what i remember in his mind it's probably so different oh he's flirtsing with sorry jamie lang's just getting dressed in that crown we were flirting a bit and then it gets the end of the conversation. I'm like, sweet, got it in the bag. I'm going to get with this boy tonight. I've wooed him. I've wooed him. He loves me.

And then he goes, oh, I've had a girlfriend for two years. Melissa also, like, do you think I forgot what you did to me before? And I was like, but it was like in such a way where I was just like, oh, my God. And I think I went. What did you say? She had done with me. What did he say? I done with me what did you say yeah and he just walked away and i just walked away i was like okay i also knew you'd have been hooned at this point yeah absolutely so drunk and your eyes have been a bit fat like sleeping you've basically been asleep when you're going say you're done with me

like you're really going everyone's going to see the other side of my mouth no no no i was i 100% remember everything i said i wasn't falling asleep at this point it was quite early it was like 10 11 oh it gets better anyway yeah and he plays polo in a broken arm from the polo and i was like oh are you really giving it away here is that no one's gonna know unless they listen to it. Unless he listens to it. So don't put yourself down like that. It might be a fan. Oh, God.

Wow. Anyway, yeah, you've got the open, honest truth there, guys. Guys, my win of the week is when boys say, or to be fair, anyone for that matter but mostly boys whoa i'm impressed you managed to eat that much i'm like what you think i eat like a lettuce no just because i'm a girl i actually get that more from women no i get it a lot from i used to get it from boys but also just from like our almost parents oh my gosh you need to like a horse you're hungry if you're not eating them like i've eaten the same as you what the hell

i know yeah people do do that a lot don't they i think it's when you're like but mostly like there is a stereotype that like boys should eat more than girls like no fuck off yeah my brother definitely eats more than me but he inhales food but he's like literally double your size not that really matters you can just have a really big appetite but yeah yeah that's my version of the week and can i get an amen to that because that is yeah i so agree with that like no you used to really bum me out when especially when i was younger you know who does it my dad does it all the time he goes god you're hungry i'm like dad i'm literally eating at the same pace as you are you okay i think it's because like as a parent there's always something like

enjoyable about watching your kitty oh gosh like my grandparents yeah oh good eater yeah just some more oh no thanks i'm like i'll have it anyway they shove it all on your plate lovely melissa's eating so much god do you remember like going to your grandparents you'd have dinner and then like there'd be something cats and something cats and something cows i'd be like oh we always used to get a lot of like cakes and chocolate yes biscuits and tea we still get that every time we go to my grandparents. Like chocolate digestives and tea. Lovely. Love a chocolate digestive.

Love a bit of chocolate. Right. We're going to rate this one, guys. Oh my God, I feel like I'm so boring. Should we rate it in three, two, one? Because I actually think that we're going to do the same. Okay, ready? Three, two, one. Eight. Seven. Ah! we're going to do the same. Okay, ready? 3, 2, 1.

8. 7. I was going to say 7.5. Let me do it again. Yeah, okay. Ready? 3, 2, 1. 7.

It's actually a really lovely wine. I'd say 7.5 to be honest. Yeah. It's really, really good. Highly recommend. Massive shout out to M.S.O.D. Delicious. Delicious.

Our first 7-year-old blonde that we really like. I love it. We love shout out to them. So delicious. Delish. Our first seven year blonde that we really like. I love it. We love it. We love it. Anyway guys, we're going to love you and leave you because we've really, really. We've rambled on this one, haven't we? I've really enjoyed it. 25 minutes.

I love you. I've really enjoyed it. Yes, have I. I've really enjoyed listening to single Melissa. Can't wait to come back with next Friday's stories. This Friday's stories next Wednesday. Yeah. Hopefully there'll be some good ones to tell. Anyway, we'll love you and leave you guys. Can't wait to come back with next Friday's stories. This Friday's stories next Wednesday. Yeah.

Hopefully there'll be some good ones to tell. Anyway, we'll love you and leave you guys. Thank you so much. Bye. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out.

Complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed

full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app. How cool is that? Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.