Wednesdays - Ep 28: Am I a commitment phobe or is everyone else boring?!

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

No wine today guys due to the copious amounts drunk the night before recording this! BUT plenty of dishy dilemmas: a long distance relationship saga, feeling the pressure to settle down, and practicing self-love!Please keep on sending in your dilemmas, follow-ups, photos, we love receiving them all!Lots of love,S & M x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out. Complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. Hey guys, it's Sophie here.

I'm Melissa. And welcome to our new podcast, Wednesdays We Drink Wine. Hey guys. Hey guys, it's a sunday it's a sunday i'm sat here in a fluffy really lame but so comfy pajama and melissa's in a really cozy dressing gown it's a real wholesome morning we're hungover oh my god it's 11 past 11 and make a wish make a wish make a wish yeah if anyone listens at 11 11 as well that means something something happening spooky yeah so we're a bit hungover sunday morning so we're not you sound really

sexy and husky what's going on there oh because i'm hungover oh no no sleep no sleep oh gosh so we're not having wine guys yeah wait hang on i need to know about yes we're not having wine i actually don't have any form of liquid in front i've got a little glass of water i would kill for a nice cup of tea right now a nice builder's cup of tea oh should i tell you what i did last night like literally i every two drinks i had a glass of water and i'm not until i then went to art shoot which i've never been to before and it was so jace but the whole like engagement party i had a glass of water in between every two drinks and i don't have a hangover like i'm tired yeah normally i'm on death's door it's the tiredness that always gets to me like the alcohol makes you feel so tired because even if

i actually have like a decent sleep i'm still like so sleepy do you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah i i mean we i was in bed by like one and i got up at like seven i was in bed so much earlier than that actually to be fair i think maybe like midnight we went for a really late dinner so my friend came over here we had some like drinkies first and then um we went out for a lovely dinner at rocker but our reservation was at nine so we didn't eat until about 9 30 10 and then we left when the restaurant was like closing so whatever time that was it wasn't like a mega late night but the night before was like a 3 4 a.m and that's just not sorry i thought you went for dinner with your brother yeah i did but then we went out for drinks till 3 a.m yeah and then i went to somebody's

house god it just i don't know what happened who was your brother wait what i need so my brother and his friend we all went out for dinner i love how i'm telling you this is fully me i'm catching sophie up fully with you yeah you guys are getting like the full so we went out for a lovely dinner then we went and met some other friends for some drinks bumped into loads of people from school and stayed there so in with her school friends it's like when you there was like four almost 400 people in my year at school that's how big it is it's like uni they're everywhere and actually you know what london's a small town like yeah you bump into people all the time like it's really oh yeah i bumped into my ex last night and i was at the restaurant guys oh yeah yeah yeah guys spicy with another guy did he say hi to you no he completely blanked me rude rude guys can we both give that i mean also

at the age of 31 like come on mate yeah i know i was expecting just i still felt like a wave like hi no nothing yeah a bit awks but like because i looked up him to smile as if i was expecting and then he just looked down carried on did you have any eye contact i need to know more uh when yeah when he first walked past he sort of stopped to look at me um and then he was probably like whoa and then as soon as i saw him he walked away and then when he came back past as he was obviously going to the bathroom just head staring at the floor ignoring me that is hilarious yeah i know my friends are like sorry are we 15 like that is just really odd i mean maybe he panicked and was like anything i think it caught him off guard it caught him off guard maybe i don't know anyway any feelings

london back or no oh absolutely not absolutely not but it just goes to show that like london is actually like so yeah that's right considering you had such a late dinner reservation as well i know like no one surely would be in there. But, yeah. So you went out for dinner with your brother. Yeah. And then whose house did you end up going to? Just a girl from school.

With your brother? Yeah, why are you saying, like, she's, like, freaking out that I've gone out with my brother. Like, what's going on here? No, because, like, was she your age or his age? No, so my brother's four years younger than me. He's only 21. Like, I just, I'm, like, best friends with my sister, but I don't really go out partying with her. But when you're all at the same school, I think all the years kind of integrate quite a bit.

Yeah, I just find it a bit fascinating, really. I was saying this to you the other day, it's a niche. Honestly, basically, Melissa went to Millfield and she thinks it's like no other school like no there isn't she's like we are a cult a cult no it's like uni that's what it's like it's like your your friends for mind you your friends it's quite a few oh no you're mainly friends your uni friends aren't you they're like your yeah that's what millfield's like everyone's still very like close and there's just so many people to choose from that you just find your people do you know what i mean whereas sometimes if you go

to a smaller like boarding school there's not that many people yeah you're like kind of you could have some real it's like you don't necessarily find people that are like really like i guess on your level that you just click with so so so much also when you live with these people for like so many years which is what i obviously did like you just all become like big old family really it's quite nice do you know what i would really oh my god i tried on my friend's engagement ring last night oh my god did you take a picture of it on your hand no but it looked so stunning it's honestly one of the most you changed your mind about which one you want now uh i don't really know i honestly don't i don't i as long you quite want the other yeah i really i just like as long as it's really nice like i always

wanted a diamond band and everyone's like that's really really not cool like you shouldn't do that it's not very it's really like it's not very classic is the word but i think i'm having a diamond band with a big i want basically a big big diamond the biggest diamond you know but my friends is so beautiful i've never seen one like it it's honestly very elegant it's like a pear drop like a pear shape in the middle which i actually normally and then it's got little ones either side like almost like pairs either side but facing the other way it's called something it's very very very very beautiful right i know but then it nearly got stuck on my finger and I honestly was having a panic attack

I was like oh Christ we're going to have to take this home is it bad luck to try on a wedding ring? no of course it's not I put my mums on all the time my mum doesn't have one well you can try on Izzy's I have to try on my mum's

I'm not going to be getting an engagement ring anytime soon, guys. Couldn't be more single if I tried. You never know. These things happen really quickly. And you know what? We're coming up to cuffing season. Oh, yeah. So that swifts in nicely to this.

Melissa, I haven't heard of cuffing season. Raise your hand if you're listening. Have you heard of it? Yes, of course I bloody have heard of cuffing season. I know that it's obviously a thing. It's Christmas season, basically. God, it's too funny. You know what it reminds me of?

That film. And it's called, like, they get together basically just for the holidays. They're not alone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that? It was Reese Witherspoon, I think. Yes.

No, no. It's Emma Roberts, isn't it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quite a shit film. Yeah, and the Australian. Yeah, it's quite a shit film, but it was an old Netflix one last year. Yeah, exactly, exactly, exactly.

Watched it in lockdown. That is... Yeah, no, I've always believed in cuffing season. Yeah, exactly, exactly, exactly. You watched it in lockdown. That is... Yeah, no, I've always believed in cuffing season. Like, I actually genuinely need... Oh, OK, well, we're going to have to set me up with someone for cuffing season, guys. But we've already spoke about this, you know. Watch this space.

We've been like, you're like, I need someone for Christmas. Boyfriends aren't just for Christmas. You could just get, like, a turtle. For those of you... Well, sorry. As in a tortoise yeah as in a apparently they're really good company and i've always thought they were quite cute

i know i know i know this makes me just love nicola even more since she was 11 she had two they died like a couple years ago they lost a long time bless their little hearts okay right we're just going to give you a quick definition of what coffee season is in case any of you actually don't know okay this is from the Google translation. It refers to when people get into relationships during the colder months of the year, even though they ordinarily wouldn't be interested in a commitment. Relationships formed during so-called coughing season are usually short-term in nature and end once spring rolls around.

I mean... I don't know why, it just makes me laugh so much. Like, the fact that it's like actually a definition it almost sounds like birds like peacocking you know it's kind of that same thing like cuffing it's really funny sounds like gross like it sounds sexual it sounds sexual probably is a bit sexual isn't it like right let's just get together for the cold months it's a bit lonely but it's more like a cuddly thing rather than like yeah summer's more like sex steamy sex whereas cuffing seems more like cuddleuddly thing rather than like summer's more like sex steamy sex

whereas coughing season's more like cuddle with all my clothes on and really ugly and just have a takeaway and have a fire

it's giving me holiday vibes the holiday vibes that's the vibes it's giving me oh god oh my god just a quick

really going off topic but who is your top celebrity crush um ooh there's a couple but I'm gonna go Matthew McConaew mcconaughey oh yes and then the guy from the vampire diaries with a black black hair oh god i got quite a lot of

people my sister replied to me and she was like i cannot believe melissa likes damon he gives me the creeps i like the other oh my god i love him and i also can't believe that you said that someone messaged me like one of my friends messaged me like, is Sophie okay? Damon doesn't look anything like Harry, my ex. They look nothing alike. But you know Harry looks a bit like that guy, the American Psycho, and I thought Damon looked a bit like him.

No, no, nothing alike, nothing alike. Okay, should I tell you mine? Matthew McConaughey and Bradley Cooper. Oh, but then also like just to have sex steamy sex would be Tom Hardy Tom yeah I'm oh my god Tom Hardy I forgot about him but also due to in the the holiday but I think he's a bit of a wet wipe like if I so agree he's a bit wet like he's a bit slobbery I think yeah I'm so agree on your mouth do you know he was quite fit in like um alfie oh he's a bit of a dick and and talented mr ripley oh oh yeah stunning and talented lay me down oh okay so we've got a lot of we've got a lot of options for celebrity crashes have

you got a list with jamie that thing they do in friends they have the five top people no but well yeah i think it's like i have my list but if he's dead I mean I would never ever I feel so in school if he like slept with Adriana Lima I was like I'll never compete yeah we can't we can't I know who his is though who does he really tell me oh actually I asked him once and he said the roguest answer he was like Kylie Jenner I was like are you okay hun um I think he just thought like the big beauty and like quite sick she'd be like yeah i've shagged carly jenner oh so crude of me anyway who he really likes is that camilla monroe girl who like like she's quite fit but like not camilla cabello uh hang on the one that's

with sean mendez wait i'm gonna quickly have a look camilla i'm really bad with celebrity names and stuff unless they're like a really a really old-school classic celeb. There's just so many new celebs popping up left, right and centre, isn't there? No, it's Camilla Marone. I'll post a photo of her. Like, she's pretty beautiful. Do you know what's good about it?

She has brown eyes, and I've always, like, really wished I had blue eyes. Me and Sophie are desperate to have blue eyes. But, you know, some days I'm really, like, accepting of my brown eyes, and I'm like, I love them. Yeah, also... Does anyone else have this? If you have blue blue eyes you're the luckiest person ever yeah yeah no it's just always like if you have straight hair you want curly hair it just never can be

yeah you want you can't have i said but yeah camilla monroe and honestly look around she's not that i mean she's a bit like you probably should be worried no i'm joking um she obviously right shall we move on we've got a couple bits and bobs. We do have a couple. About cuffing season and, like, some stories, advice, whatever. We asked, obviously, our followers whether they felt pressured to settle down for cuffing season or, like, what you guys' thoughts on it was and stuff like that.

And then a couple of you have written in some cute things. So do you want to read one? Yeah. I did this at uni, dated three people at once just so I had someone to go one so yeah i did this at uni dated three people at once just so i had someone to go to the christmas markets with oh my god that's too funny it's so true like you want to go to winter wonderland with the boy i know although i kind of prefer being with a girl like going to the beer can i you know what doing things to your friends being with your friends

is fine i've got enough single friends right now i You are. And my single friends. But like if all of them were in relationships, that would suck. Yeah, we've got quite a few lovely winter activities lined up, so. Yeah, we do. Sophie and Jamie are taking me under their wing for New Year's Eve and stuff like that. So I'm not going to be by myself. Yeah, you can go. Okay, right. Second one.

Oh my God, yes. Don't want to be single at Halloween, Bonfire Night, Christmas, Valentine's. Oh God, why are they all in such a big clump i'm not gonna lie but like halloween i don't halloween i don't care and also valentine's i i don't really care it's not a big deal anyway i think valentine's yeah it really is yeah and i feel like it's exciting times because it's like after new year and it's approaching march apr April, which is then spring, you know? We're like coming out of the winter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I would be okay.

Valentine's. Someone else said, someone told me winter is the time to find a date for Winter Wonderland. Hyde Park. Yeah, yes. The thing is about winter is I do think Christmas is quite nice to have a boyfriend. I completely see that. But I would never spend Christmas itself with a boyfriend. I always do that with my family

do you know what i mean i know actually you and jb spend christmas together so it's very different but yeah but that's just quite what yeah it's quite weird you mean the christmas period like the whole of december i mean like leading up to it when you're watching the holiday and you've got the house you've got like the tree you want to decorate your tree you don't know when it's getting dark at 5 p.m and you don't oh but then again it's also really quite fun going to all the Christmas parties like you might have a romantic smooch under the mistletoe

you're gonna have to have some mistletoe in your bag Sophie calls me guys after every night out like oh my god tell me everything I'm so excited

I know I just wish you'd like you're really letting the team down a little bit because you're not giving me that much sorry enough there's

oh you can't go there's no juicy bits and bobs at the moment I'm honestly not even not even kissing somebody not for long honeybee not for long okay we've had some little listener messages so guys do you remember that girl who was like fancying the boy in the halls and they kept seeing each other and whatever yeah and he would go into her room after a night out yeah yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that, yeah. Really juicy

and just so much fun. Lovely. We've got to follow up. Thank you so much for the advice, girls. I've actually kissed him since and we have a date next week! Yes!

Can I get a hooray? Oh my God, that is just fabulous. That is so cool. I love that. Also, please send some piggies. I quite want to see this guy and see you.

I always want to see the pictures yeah same right maybe just take a sneaky pic of like the day as well wait what a little snippet of the day no you can't do that that's too soon too so first day i'm just gonna take a picture to um send into wednesdays we drink wine is that okay with you i mean no girl's gonna do what girl's gonna do yeah that's true okay right and then another girl's basically written in to comment on that and give a bit of advice on that girl's dilemma hey girls i love the pod and look forward to every week this is my response to the message from the girl last week who is unsure whether to pursue things with the guy on her corridor in uni halls i met my boyfriend who lived in my corridor in halls during freshers week and we are still together now in brackets now living together

eight years later oh my god we have been through so much together during that time and have grown up together i absolutely adore him and can't wait to see what the future has in store for us so i hope this is some encouragement to the girl he messaged in to go for it lots of love oh my god that is so good because now she has gone for it positive energy around that i love that i think it's great now we've got some real juicy dilemmas as well this week shall we read the first one yeah okay it's a long one hello love the pod i have a dilemma my boyfriend and i have been together for three and a half years and everything's peachy, but we can't figure out where to live long term. We love living in London, but don't think we'll stay here forever.

I'm from Scotland and he's from the south coast of England, and we both want to be close to our families in the long term. I especially want to be near my mum when we have children, not imminent, but hopefully it will happen at some point. When we're proper grown-ups, early mid-twenties, we still we see a lot of his family who I adore to pieces but I can't help feeling a bit sad that we see so little of my own family in comparison the idea that this could be the case for the rest of my life is quite a thought Scotland and the south coast are so far apart and there's no happy medium so one of us will have to compromise we talk about it every

so often but never make any progress what should i do and then she went hey girls guess what me again same dilemma but five months further down the line okay so basically guys we had this dilemma and we didn't get around to reading it and then the lovely girl has a message again saying it up again five months five months later down the line and they've got a dog and it's more complicated oh gosh oh gosh my boyfriend and i have been together for four years we met when i was 21 and he was 26 and are each other's only proper relationship and now we're trying to figure out if we should break up great love that for us poor girl we're both very stubborn also somehow very indecisive we live in london at the

moment in a nice but very damp full and flat with our rescue at greyhound my god we might bump into i'm scottish and want to live in or at least near scotland long term he's very southern and wants to live in the southeast long term i'd consider living halfway it leaves his family but he's not mad on that people say we must have a gut feeling but we don't our options are one scotland or north of england to the southeast three somewhere in between four breakup help please it feels like such stupid reason but we can't get past it okay it's not straight it's not a stupid reason it's quite a serious reason because it's like you know it's circumstances and like you know what like me and Sophie our parents don't

even live in the country like and it's fine and like that's gonna be the case I guess for us for the rest of our lives isn't it really it's quite sad you know that happens like you know life goes on and sometimes you do move away from your roots and that's okay you can't you can't stick around in the same place for the sake of oh I grew up there well my parents there so when I have kids I want my mum to be around you know Scotland obviously it's far away but in the same sense it's not horrendously far like you can visit them whenever yeah they can come and visit you whenever I think it depends on where you want to be in terms of like how happy you are it can't just be because oh my parents are

there so like I think you're still very young I don't actually think there's any like too much pressure to think about that yeah and worry about it right now like just go with the flow if you're happy in London and you're happy where you are then fine but if you if there is I think there's also if there's this overshadowing thing in your head where you're like, I just need to be close to my family, then, I don't know, then maybe that is going to be a make-or-break situation. I kind of understand.

I think that people have a blueprint. So I think, you know, you've thought, I'm always going to end up in Scotland, and that's just the way your brain is wired, and you've always thought it, and that's how you've envisioned your life. But, like, do you know, you've thought, I'm always going to end up in Scotland, and that's just the way your brain is wired, and you've always thought it, and that's how you've envisioned your life. But, like, do you know what? Blueprints don't always, they're not always the best way, and changes happen and different things happen,

and I wouldn't overthink it either until the time, I would cross the bridge when it comes. Yeah. You don't know. You could get a job in LA. You could get a job in Dubai. Like, you don't know what's around the corner. like I said like Melissa said both of our parents live abroad and you know ideally yeah I'd love my mum to come and babysit my kids when I have children but you know

that's just not the case like that sometimes yeah you just accept like and ultimately if it came down to it I would choose you know my mum my family and my family forever they're not going anywhere their blood is thick in the water like they are there I will fly out and see them they will fly they will be there when they need to be there but I wouldn't break up Jamie I would move with Jamie like if Jamie's job had to go to Dubai you know you'd go I'd have I wouldn't want to go but I would go so I think it's quite telling you've got to sort of work out how much you know if you really don't want to do that and you'd be happier being with your family rather than being with your boyfriend then perhaps you don't love each other enough that much yeah it's a tough one yeah it's

a tough one it's a tough one but I also think you are still young I wouldn't put so much pressure on yourself to be thinking like oh I have to be in the place right now that I'm going to be in for the rest of my life and I want to think about my mom being able to look after my kids and be there things like that you know yeah um i really hope that helped and like yeah don't don't definitely don't break up over this like it's way it's that's really premature like let it play out a bit you know it's now gone for six months that we don't forget that but it's only six months they're talking about it because you're not going to make a decision now like you don't need to move out of fulham no exactly like if you do then why don't you try leeds for a bit or try sheffield or try wherever try try i don't

think that he really wants to i think that's the well if you really it you've not it depends if you don't like london it's a different thing maybe flat, because if you're living in a damp flat, that's pretty sucky in itself. I don't think that's very good for you. Yeah, it's really bad for your health, be careful. Just a bit of life advice on health there. I think that ultimately, if it was me in your position, I would want to be in London,

and I would just accept and be fine with the fact that, you know, it's just the way it is. If we're going to be in London, this is what we love. And we want to be here. And his family are in the South, so obviously that is much closer than Scotland. But, like, it's just the way it is. Let us know what you think of that, if you do need it.

And we want to know your final decision. Yeah. But don't put pressure on yourself. I think, like I said, I think a lot of people have a blueprint in their mind in a way that they want to live their life. But, you know, that's just not always the way it is. You sort of got to just run with the roll with the punches. Yeah, exactly.

Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out. Complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. your advice basically i'm really struggling with my own body and the way i look i know it's a bit pathetic and sad and really try to love myself but every time i catch myself in the reflection i hate what i see i look at old pictures of myself and i just don't know i don't think i look so good

anymore i am in need of a glow up i recently got my dream job as a jeweler oh my god lovely and i've started going to the gym as i'm probably not fat but I'm not thin either so I'm really trying to work on myself as I feel like my life is finally on track and after a really tough couple of years on top of the pandemic I figured I can work on my body shape but I still just think I have a weird looking face which I'm just going to have to accept lol seeing you guys on MIC on Instagram I can tell your natural beauties but also really look after yourselves and i was wondering if you could give me some tips on general habits slash rituals you do to look and feel good as a side note i'm being i've been single for two years i'm 21 and i'm

ready for a relationship again but i don't want one until i'm secure in myself i would love some advice from you guys as an outsider perspective and I always agree with what you say each week, but I cannot figure this one out myself. Lots of love. OK, firstly, I've just got tears in my eyes. I know. And secondly, I think that you'd be surprised at how many people feel the same way.

I don't think you're alone. I definitely look in the mirror sometimes and I'm like, ugh, gross. Same, we all do it we all do it and you just gotta remember like it really who actually I know obviously it's all very well and good looking nice and don't get me wrong I bloody love a facial we all know that oh yeah we all love a facial and like it's about five times I've got a proper prediction it's actually worrying but um

when you really strip it back and you know i'm guilty i'm guilty of not doing this myself but you do have to remember who actually are you trying to look good for like who at what's more important you as a person or the way you look? As long as you're healthy and obviously don't sit and eat four burgers. Be healthy and look after yourself, but you do have to, and I know this is harder said than done, but you do have to remember, like, you know, we're all going to get old one day and our looks are going to completely go. So to put so much emphasis on the way we look

and look in the mirror every day and ruin our day by thinking oh I don't like the way I look it's actually such a shameful like a waste it's a waste such a way we only live once and we're gonna be 60 or 80 one day looking back and be like oh do you know what I'm wrinkly and old and I worry about life was so much more about that and what a shame that I got myself upset by looking thinking I looked a bad way yeah I think for Soph and I like we try and I think it does obviously help when you're feeling a bit more confident you're and you're feeling happy on the outside and the way you do look and the way you feel it does help on the inside and vice versa when you're happy on the inside that does come through on the outside like that energy and that reflects like you can see it in somebody can't you and I always try and I don't ever like to compare myself to other people because that's like so dangerous

but try and be the best version of myself that I can be so I'm fulfilling my own potential in a sense because I don't want to be ever feeling like oh oh, God, I wish I just, you know, worked a bit more on my fitness. Because when I do work out afterwards, the happiness, I don't know what it is. It makes me feel so flipping great. But then also, obviously, it's doing good things to your body as in your toning or whatever. So I think the whole thing comes full circle. And unfortunately, we do live in a world right now where looks is some it is not important but like it's way more important we live in a world where we're social media and yeah we're constantly just constantly comparing

and seeing everything so we're like magpies everything's all about them yeah everything's so beautiful and also everything's so warped. Everything on Instagram, everyone's perfect. Like, look, I am no innocent partaker in this. Like, I try and make myself look perfect on Instagram. Yeah, we all take a million pictures to choose one, and that's the best one. If you posted every picture, you'd be like, oh, God. Yeah, exactly.

And, like, honestly, if you saw half the photos, I don't look like the same person. But I think going to the gym makes you everyone feel amazing i think eating clean makes you feel amazing what you put in your body comes out in your body i so agree with that i am a massive advocate for the gym working out eating clean same also getting out in nature at least once a day is so important you have no idea walking out in nature is so important for everything yeah i think and i think ultimately you know it just really upsets me what you said about your you have a strange face whatever you said because you absolutely that's that's so you can't think like that and you really you really really won't and

imperfections are perfections yeah everybody's perfect in their own unique way and no one else is going to ever look like you and like I have to like say that to myself like me and Sophie when we were like oh we really want blue eyes and I'm like you know what no one else is going to have our eyes and our face like you just have to really like accept everything about yourself and and start and I and grow to love it and i guess for you what i would say is that you've got into a habit of maybe a negative talking to yourself in a negative way which we all do and a good way of getting out of that and i've said it before on the podcast is by trying to change your like nor like your brain the way your thoughts go into your brain so

every day write five things that you are grateful for or five things that you like and for you i would do five things that you like about yourself whether it's your fingernails or your toes or your arm or your forearm or your neck write five things and do it every single day and no matter how small they are and every day you will start to feel more confident every day and it will start to show in you as well. And hopefully all I want for you is one day to look in the mirror and be happy with what you see back. And be like, oh, I look bloody great today. Yeah.

You know. Because I am sure you're so beautiful. And you sound so lovely. And don't let another day be ruined or feel anything but great because of the way you look. Because honestly, it's not worth it. And I'm sure you are absolutely beautiful inside and outside. I so agree. Just, it all starts from within these steps.

But like, obviously the physical things, like Sophie was saying, like eating clean and like actually working out, going on walks, being out in nature, like that all is actually like so important for our health as it is. But also it will help in terms of the way everybody looks health-wise like you'll just you'll be healthier so you'll look healthier and then those endorphins you can't fake them yeah the whole thing like it all comes full circle at some point like it all they're all connected yeah right i hope that helps and like

really really do do the five so much love yeah You feel like you need a big hug. And really, please promise me you'll do those five things that you like about, love about yourself. And say it every day. Like, I love my hair. I love my eyes. And I'm so grateful for blah, blah, blah. And just do it religiously

and you will start to see a shift in the way that you think and I think the way that you perceive yourself. Anyway, sending you a big hug big hug and lots of love okay should I read the next one yeah first of all wanted to say I love the podcast I literally feel like I'm having a girly gossip with my friends yay so I've just turned 26 and all of my friends are settling down and having children engagements woo Woo, that's young. And I'm so not at this stage in my life. Is it wrong to actually enjoy being single even at this age?

I just love my own freedom, my own home, my own life and my own terms with no one to answer to. God, I feel you. Yeah, me, 26, so young. I enjoy casual dating but nothing serious where I'm seeing them a lot. I'm a girl who needs my own space. I get the ick so bloody quick too. Oh god me too tell me about it yeah you sound like a bit of an ether and to be honest I'm not even sure if settling down is something I want to do I don't see it

as a rubbish life if I end up being in my 30s 40s single life living my best life on luxury holidays casual dating spending all my money on me not okay i maybe i sound a bit selfish now but you get the drift children too aren't for me they're a huge commitment and i honestly feel being an aunt or of my friends having the babies is enough for me but question is how do i deal with the overwhelming worry that everyone will judge me for choosing to not have a baby or settle down i guess in our society there is a huge pressure for women to settle down. Be a wife. Have children.

And it's not just something I desire. I just love to date when I want to. Without it being too committed. I find it more fun. Being child free. And just living life on my terms. Do you have any advice. Of how I can shake off the pressure from everyone else.

Who keeps forcing their opinion of. But you will want kids. You just need to settle down or you'll be single when you're older etc etc right firstly me kind of think that you are just so cool and i wish i had your way of thinking um i wouldn't give a fuck like i don't think anyone's gonna who cares who cares there's quite a lot of people that don't want to get married with children like who cares like great yeah good for you you've just got your own still decision and honestly it's all in your mind thinking people care people probably just

say that people don't care they probably just say that because they honestly genuinely just assume that you want children but when you just go no no i really don't i i actually want to spend all that money on me and boy you're gonna save a lot of money not having kids then they'll be like oh cool how interesting you know what I think would be hard if you fell in oh yeah yeah yeah the only point where I see this is ever

going to be an issue for you because it shouldn't be an issue at all but if there is going to be a point where it's going to be like hard would be if you fell in love with somebody completely fell in love with them and that's out of your control you can't put a stop on that be like no i just want to date you casually you can't help it how much you love them right so you you end up being in a relationship with them and they want kids yeah that's when it's going to be hard i think that that's the only thing but other than that who cares you do you you know it'd be boring

if everyone was a bloody say i think it's great that you just know exactly what you want but then I do also have the opinion that your mind does change a lot and also people that come into your life can change your mind like I know a lot of people that have said they've never wanted children they've fallen in love with somebody they've been like I want to make a mini you like you have this unbelievable desire to like have a child don't know why you just get broody at some point some people do but you know people change their mind and that's fine as well like even if you change your mind in two years and everyone's like oh my god but you said you don't want kids it doesn't matter like whatever you want to do you you do you do you do you yeah you you're the only one living that life so why would it matter to anyone else and if anyone and also i actually genuinely don't

think anyone will care care as much as you think they do. Yeah, it's often that, you know, and we're all guilty of doing this. I'm like, oh, my God, when are they going to restart that for me if we're not going to that party? It's like, they don't even know. They don't care. They don't care. But we all think everyone's thing.

You know, you've got to remember everyone else has a life too. And everyone else is just basically selfish and thinks of themselves. Like, no one's really thinking of how you're going to play out your life they're all no exactly they're all too busy thinking about having a child yeah so i think you've just got to own it people are going to also gravitate to you because you sound like you're going to live a sweet lovely yeah holidays probably nice give me some of that like you're gonna be the fun auntie who everyone just wants to chill with so i'll just roll with it and just be proud of it and like own it yeah so agree and i agree every time that little thought comes into your head when you worry

what other people are thinking just be like oh it's just my my thought that's not the case it's called something when you think that everyone is thinking... Paranoid. No, it's called, like, main character something. Syndrome. Main character syndrome. I don't know if that's the official word. No, I don't think you've got main character syndrome.

That's why it's called something extremely self-centered. No, but as in, like, everyone has a bit of this. It's not called that, but you know what I mean? It's, like, in your head. Oh, yeah, well, you all do. I always, like, oh, my God, they're going to swim in. Your problem is the only problem more it's like after time is up after a night out and you were really drunk and you're like oh my god everyone's gonna

be everyone yeah no they will drown themselves and no one gives a flying exactly so i think that we all have a bit of that like in us where we think that everyone's thinking about us or talking about us and whatever and actually they don't they don't care they're thinking about themselves yeah you know um but i love that what do you know what they were like three of my favorite very niche different dilemmas i loved how different i really love getting involved in them guys we don't have any wine to rate, but we do, we must have some single diaries from the Prash. Um, there's honestly no single diaries right now. You might have a date coming up. I mean, we can't really disclose who, because that's a bit crazy if he then listened and was like, okay.

Oh God. There could be a date. Well, you know, there might be a couple, there's a couple dates coming up. So then we'll have some juice to reveal after that. Yeah, we'll have some juice. And there's, you know, several different types of dates. As in, like, different people. It's not like there's a couple of dates with one person.

Different bits and bobs going on. So that's quite exciting in the pipeline. Also, like, I'm going to set her up on one and come on the date with Jamie. So, like, that will be very fun. That'll be quite funny. It's always more fun, like, going on a date with someone that's being set up by someone else because you know and you've also got your paddles with you i think and you've also got fun like you almost feel like you've got something to chat about because it's like oh sophie she's a yeah yeah we can just like take the piss out of you the whole time yeah yeah yeah

so with you um my winch of the week is when people go, can you put the kettle on? Sorry, I know it's really niche, but it just pisses me off. Like, put it on yourself. I don't like tea. Put the kettle on. Oh, no. No, that's like a homely thing.

No, can't bear it. When you can't bear it. No one's ever asked me to put the kettle on. Jamie, it's like, I know what you're asking. You're asking me to make you a cup of tea. I don't like tea. I don't know how to make it.

Oh, I see. Yeah, but they go, can you put the cast on? But it's like, well, actually, you want me to put the tea bag in, boil the water, put the milk in. Right, right. Not just flick the switch. It's just like a... Okay, it's like you're making it sound like it's a small commitment. Actually, it's like a big old job before I make you a whole cup of tea.

Yeah. How dare you ask me to do that for you? And also, like... God, poor Jamie. I really don't like tea. Like, I like a... It kind of grosses me to do that for you and also like god poor jamie i really don't like tea like i i like a girl it kind of grossed me out that boy's drinking you like a peppermint tea on no really i don't have to force it down me just because i know it's helps and you like you like a um an earl grey no i used to have gone off them again sorry it doesn't go like you know what

it is it's ever since so so lost her taste buds when they came back after you got covid and you're you don't like certain things oh yeah it's so weird like i didn't like avocado for ages like i literally was repulsed by it after covid now i'm like interesting interesting um but yeah tea i don't really like that jamie drinks loads of tea if i'm honest it's kind of my winter of the week it just annoys me oh that's absolutely ridiculous tea is a lovely lovely lovely thing you know i don't really like coffee that that much my friend actually alice jackson when we were young and we used to literally live together she drank you forced yourself to drink i'm no she honestly genuinely drank tea as it was water she must have had 14 and we were like honestly like seven years like good for you all the caffeine like her family just drank so much tea and i used to just be like is this normal but actually it was so lovely they'd have like a victoria sponge at like 5pm

with their tea oh stunning i never used to get it at my house i loved going to that because i'd get it or like a pineapple upside down cake like a real treat oh yum so lovely and moist at the bottom sweet with the pineapple i love love love no i love cup of tea and a piece of cake it's just like a part of my family yeah that is quite homely it's very healthy very nice when you're skiing it's like a hot chocolate and a biscuit oh yeah yeah yeah there's nothing like a hot drink in winter is there nothing like it there really is and anyway guys thanks for listening to our podcast we've recorded it on a sunday so it's a sunday special sunday special also quite very like genuine like this is our night this is our after a night out after a

weekend debrief it means so for normally do a facetime we've recorded the whole thing yeah so there you go guys guys. Love you. Bye, guys. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out. Complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca.

That's it for this week Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio