Wednesdays - Ep 30: Nando’s on a first date!?

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

Woo it’s Wednesday!Guys this week it’s all about your first date dilemmas. Is getting it on with your neighbour a good idea, is a first date at someone’s house a no go and the age old first date... question: do I actually fancy him!?We loved hearing your dating stories this week - send us a DM with more of your juicy dating dilemmas or any other dilemmas you want an opinion on!Til next week, S & M xThis week we tried some more yummy non alcoholic wines! This week Sophie is drinking a LA Brewery Sparkling English Rose Kombucha: https://www.ocado.com/products/la-brewery-sparkling-english-rose-kombucha-544562011Rating: 9Melissa is drinking a non-alcoholic Ariel Cabernet Sauvignon:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ariel-Cabernet-Sauvignon-NON-ALCOHOLIC/dp/B01HS1VV4M/ref=nodl_ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:44 Hey guys, welcome back to whence we drink wine we're doing this on a friday which is very rogue we're switching it up today i know i know i quite like it i quite like it too and you know what i'm really looking forward to what i don't know guys have you noticed i try and say words but they just always come out wrong i know you're so sweet I think it's like I think you must be a bit dyslexic I've said this to you before haven't I we've had this conversation that there must be something else I'm dyscalculious but yeah what's oh my god dyscalculus I think that's another made up word that she's just literally made up no when I was younger I used to get like 32 I'd read it as that 23. That's the dyslexia. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:01:26 Okay, well, cool. Like, I always put, like, backwards and, like, put a D instead of a B and stuff like that. All right, okay. Moving on. She's joined the dyslexic club, guys. Okay, so what wine are you drinking this morning? So I am drinking, which is actually so great because well if you've heard of la brewery you'll know it's kombucha brand kombucha kombucha okay anyway i love their kombuchas i
Starting point is 00:01:53 didn't actually realize because this is a non on on the internet you can order as a non-alcoholic wine and this comes up it's a sparkling english rose but actually and in a rose bottle and it looks like rose but actually it's kombucha mean, like the ingredients literally are kombucha, but it tastes, which is actually kind of nice because kombucha's amazing. Kombucha is amazing. I love kombucha and it's really good for you. And really good for you. Yeah, good for the old gal. And it's refreshingly kombucha infused with organic white rose petals and wild elderflowers. So it's actually gives you that sort of like, it's not so sweet. Whereas I find a lot of the non-alcoholic wines
Starting point is 00:02:29 are just kind of a juice flavour. Whereas this doesn't taste like juice. We did find that with the first non-alcoholic red wine that we had, didn't we? That was a bit juice-like. I've got a different one here today. So I'm going to try this. I'm really excited for this.
Starting point is 00:02:40 This was one of the ones that I was meant to drink, but Jamie drank it, thinking it was alcoholic on his polka dot with his boys. With his boys. Okay, so this is Cabernet Sauvignon.
Starting point is 00:02:50 It's by Ariel. Am I saying that right? Yeah. Ariel. And I haven't tried it yet. It smells, honestly, like wine.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks really good. So winey. But then, let's see the other one. The other one smells like wine.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Oh my God, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:03:03 no, no. I prefer the other red wine that we had what does that taste like is that more winey no it's i don't know like that first the best non-alcoholic wine that i've had so far is the sparkling wine that we had that i had last yeah this this is sparkling i think that it's the right one's really hard it's very hard to get a good non-alcoholic rubber i mean as far as non-alcoholic wines go I'm sure because there isn't that many to choose from is there I'm sure it's not horrendous but it's because you go in with the expectation that it's going to taste exactly like wine and it just doesn't and I think rosé and white wine are like
Starting point is 00:03:38 not as satisfying when you drink I love them but when you drink red it's like yeah that warming like lovely I so it's always you drink red it's like yeah that warming like lovely i so it's always like chocolate so it's like you can't fake chocolate whereas like with a sweetie you can have a shit sweetie and it still be satisfying but with a rich chocolate it's the richness that it misses i know it does it does it does it does it does contains less than one one half of one percent alcohol by volume okay so there is a tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny bit of alcohol in this one actually yeah but there isn't like a kombucha and there isn't like a spag bol but i mean no one's in a spag bol i put so much wine in my
Starting point is 00:04:17 spag bol i was literally like i know but then apparently like it cooks off the alcohol so it's technically yeah it does it burns off like when i make vodka pasta there's not so much vodka but all the vodka this vodka pasta i've never understood it like what the hell is it oh my god i've cooked it for literally years because my one of my old boyfriends his mom was a fabulous cook and she cooked it for us and it was like literally like my favorite meal forever but why does it taste different they i like the vodka adds like almost like a heat so when you're eating it it like he almost like how spicy food does like your face gets a bit hot and it gives it like such a rich flavor it's unbelievable you it's like it tastes about creme fresh no but it tastes like unique like it's
Starting point is 00:04:58 really good honestly you would love it i need to try it oh it's so good creme fresh tomatoes i remember this south african girl telling me that it was her favorite meal in the whole world I need to try it. Oh, it's so good. Creme fraiche, tomatoes, loads of parmesan. I remember this South African girl telling me that it was her favourite meal in the whole world. And I was like, vodka pasta. It is one of my favourites. It's like, have you ever had the pink pasta from Zeffy's? No. I'm not a pasta gal, am I?
Starting point is 00:05:16 No, you're not. You're not a pasta gal. It's kind of similar to that. If anyone's had that from Zeffy's or Jack's, it's very, very similar. You're making me really hungry right now i'm really unsatisfied with my lunch um okay guys i had a lovely lunch by the way guys just letting what did she have i had a gail's sausage roll and it was heaven on earth oh i soup and it was so lame and just not oh it's just so healthy i can't bear you oh my god go on you can you can never know about the
Starting point is 00:05:49 vampire diaries because i mean oh my god yeah obviously i haven't i haven't even watched it yeah you're going to though you promised me you're gonna start yeah i've told you i'm starting on monday stunning okay okay okay so we obviously did a little poll to ask who is team Damon and team Stefan. And, like, you're only going to understand this, Sophie, if you've watched it, okay? Oh, Damon makes me sick even looking at that face. No, no, no, no, no. You will hate Stefan. He's so wet.
Starting point is 00:06:16 No, I won't. I can fancy that boy already. Oh, my God. Okay, right. Okay, right. Mark, everyone remember this conversation when she changes her jean after she's watched it. Okay, so, obviously, the votes were 58% of you said Damon, 42% said Stefan. mark everyone remember this conversation when she changes her gene after she's watched it okay so obviously the votes were 58% of you said Damon 42% sorry but that smirk on Stefan's face is my
Starting point is 00:06:32 worst nightmare you mean Damon's face Damon's face yeah no no his I can't even describe the sex appeal that he get honestly no no okay so we've also had a couple of people have written in like little you know anecdotes and things I've had some things to say about it is it verity said no question it's damon don't fool yourself i so agree abby said to be fair i wouldn't kick neither of them out of bed yeah they're both beautiful boys let's go yeah they're supposed to be brothers cool their parents are good looking do you want to read out no not, not in real life, you silly sausage. Okay, right. Harriet, only people who watch it can answer properly
Starting point is 00:07:11 because it's Damon's personality. It's so true. Damon's way more excited, Rebecca said. Exciting. Yeah, he is. Exciting. When I watch it, I honestly get fanny flatters. I got that when I watched Magic Mike, to be fair.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Oh, don't you get it when you speak to Jamie? I remember he made a funny thing, he made this funny thing on Instagram, I don't know if any of you guys saw it, about it. Who, if anyone gets funny flutters when they speak to their boyfriend, like, let me know, because seriously, what's your secret?
Starting point is 00:07:43 Oh my God. Oh, someone actually says Stefan every day of the week but the fact that caroline gets with him devastating okay i'm watching it caden don't tell me don't like that's not gonna ruin anything trust me so much happens in it that's the least you're worried okay also this is i haven't got someone said he's a really simple day has a really similar. What? Damon has a really similar face to Melissa's. What? No, he doesn't. He fancies him. Couples always look the same in some way,
Starting point is 00:08:08 facially. I'm not sure, Jamie, I look the same, actually, but thanks very much. You both have blonde hair. Oh, because his peroxide dye buys O-natural. Oh, yeah,
Starting point is 00:08:18 so natural. I love the pod so much. At nearly 30 times, sometimes I think I'm too old to be listening, but it's so good and I always share advice with my friends. Aw. Thanks, guys. So sweet.
Starting point is 00:08:30 I'm going to just point out that I look nothing like Damon, but compliment because he's really hot. And blue eyes. No, no, no, Sophie. The eyes. You will die when you watch his. I've never seen eyes like it. Stunning.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Oh, really? Absolutely stunning. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah i do like a nice eyeball um we've had some follow-ups also guys in response to listeners a few weeks ago who spoke about not wanting children right do you remember this i do remember i do yeah so she didn't want children and she's not feeling the need to have a partner and wanting to live life full to herself and um we've had two listeners write in recommending the book olive by emma gannon and a lovely girl on instagram said hey please tell the girl who wrote in about not wanting children to read the book called olive by emma gannon it's brilliant it's about a woman who knows she doesn't want children but all her friends have them and they don't understand how
Starting point is 00:09:24 she doesn't want them it's very empowering and i them, and they don't understand how she doesn't want them. It's very empowering, and I think every woman in their 20s, 30s should give it a read. Lovely. I'm going to read that. Are you? Well, I'm... I'm so bad at reading, but you're good at reading, so... I'm not that good, but I'm reading really good...
Starting point is 00:09:37 The only books I get hooked into, guys, and please help me, because I'm, like, not even into this sort of thing, is murder books, like Chris Carter is the only author I like so I can't any like self-help any rom-com don't like them bored after one page like self-help's kill my soul but all I want to do is read them all because I want to become like a Buddha and Guru and Gandhi and everything I think maybe for me it's everyone everyone says that I need to like have an audiobook and then try and read it at the same time and then it goes into your brain oh yeah i listen to like self-help audiobooks but i mean self-help not like yeah i was gonna say how to
Starting point is 00:10:14 make yourself competent not those ones more like the secret the power of now those sort of bits i've listened on audio oh right and i used to go to sleep to them but now they kind of give me the creeps when i go to sleep to them so I have to turn them off. But I can't read them because they bore me stiff. Interesting. But a murder book, I'm hooked. Yeah, a crime drama. Seriously guys, if you are in,
Starting point is 00:10:37 if you struggle, Chris Carter, the best murder books ever, you're just, yeah, you fagged me in at the time. I don't know how you didn't like The Fool. That was so good. I literally watched one episode and I was like bored stiff
Starting point is 00:10:48 but that's murdery that's very yeah but it was British I'm not very I'm not into British things apart from Angela Black's just started on BBC and it's really good
Starting point is 00:10:58 oh gosh I really recommend it we've got some really fun dilemmas and i'm most excited because we got sent a full photo yeah we sent out a little um shout out about like first dates and first date dilemmas that kind of vibe which is very relevant to me i haven't even been on a first date yet guys how what was your first what was like the best first date you've ever had? Um, it was actually really sweet. We went to, I can't remember who we did first. Who, who?
Starting point is 00:11:31 He picked me up. No, no, no. You don't know this person. Well, you do, but I'm not going to say his name on the podcast. You know who it is. And he took me to the Lion King. It was a surprise. Like the theatre.
Starting point is 00:11:43 You know, like the. Oh, well, I'm just trying to work out who is i must be the boyfriend before harry no he's not a boyfriend but yeah he took me to the lion king then we went out for a really nice dinner it was like all a surprise and i was like no i that's not like a huge thing but like that was like oh i know who it is yeah that's like the biggest thing that everyone anyone's ever done for me so that was like quite sweet and it was like a surprise and i was like so excited i was like wow i also guys have not been on many like any dates is a difficult one surely jamie took you to some pretty banging ones no oh i've been to loads of banging restaurants but never like like a weird and also kind of we like started going out
Starting point is 00:12:20 from like day one i swear yeah it's because my first boyfriend we didn't have a date because we obviously met at uni we didn't date until like three months in we didn't have a date and we went to nando's actually my second boyfriend yeah who you know we also fuck sake what is it about boys these boys need to make a bit more effort. You know what? There's something cute. And clearly not fine dining material. There's something cool about someone not making an effort and you like each other so much that you don't have to make an effort. No, no.
Starting point is 00:12:53 I was literally like, you fucking zero down, Jamie. Yeah, yeah. There's something about also just being like, is this all I deserve? Like, a Nando. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, make a bit of an effort. Spice it up. No, I'm joking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You make a bit of an effort spice it up no i'm joking yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:13:07 you've got to go to a nice restaurant yeah jamie did yeah jamie did jamie just more so but bloody loves nice restaurant like nice food himself like he's a foodie yeah which that's so important when you've got to have food same same same okay so we've got from birthday dilemmas do you want to read the first one yeah okay so this is a little bit more of a story from what I um gather and the title of it is called uh flicking tapas which is quite jokes hey girls I love the podcast been a listener since day one not a dilemma but on one of my first ever dates I went out with a boy for tapas halfway through the meal there was oh no some calamari on the table which had fallen off my dates plate instead of simply picking it up and putting it in a napkin or
Starting point is 00:13:50 something he just had the urge to flick it across the table at me i was not impressed to say the least and this was not a great introduction to the dating world oh my god how funny imagine if it was like covered in grease and it just goes on like your lovely like silks. Or no, also flicking a bit of food starting from it's so round. I know. It's like so gross. Oh my God. I like, he was probably like mortified with himself.
Starting point is 00:14:14 You know when you have like those weird impulse, like this thing. Yeah, yeah, I do. I would do that. And you just suddenly do it and you're like, what have I just done? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was probably so upset with himself.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Oh God. Now we're moving on to dilemmas you go you go you go so first date dilemma any help very very gratefully received the backstory is that i've known him for about six years but he's only just asked me to meet up in a romantic sense dilemma is do i go at all okay he simply asked me to go to his house. I sort of feel like he should be whining and dining me. Fail you, I fail you. He is sort of well-known, so may not want his privacy up and troubled. Ooh, she's well-known.
Starting point is 00:14:54 I like the details. You have to expand. Oh my God, it just got interesting. Ding dong. I just watched Bridget Jones last night and she goes, ding dong. Anytime there's like a bit more or something, ding fucking dong.
Starting point is 00:15:13 And it just, I'm like, me and my friend Hermione, like, we're going to use that now. Ding dong. Ding dong. He's sort of well known to me. Sorry, that's like literally killing me i need to know who he is i know same can you please follow up but then i automatically think is it because he doesn't want to be seen with me help uh okay so no i don't think it's because he doesn't want to
Starting point is 00:15:36 be seen with you because if you've been friends for six years he's obviously like he is well known he might just not want to go out and get packed like yeah just want want a night in it might and also if he i don't know how well known he is but he might not it'll be like if he did it's a story about who he's going out on a date with so yeah he probably is he probably does just want privacy yeah but then i do understand what she means because i would be a bit like not insulted but a bit like it's not all about you at this point. It's almost like, we're not going to shag, so. Yeah, just relax. Like, also, like, are you that famous?
Starting point is 00:16:10 Like, sorry, unless you're Leonardo DiCaprio, like, let's go out for a nice low-key meal somewhere cute. No one's going to, you don't have paps following you out of your house unless you are like Brad Pitt. Do you know what I mean? Let's be honest. So I think that, no, I think, I think you're right to kind of be, you know, on mean let's be honest yeah so I think that no I think I think you're right to kind of be you know on the back foot with this a bit because off the bat I would be like a bit disappointed I'd be like no no you know we are friends we need to step out of that friendship zone if that's what you want it to be and make a bit more of an effort I also do just
Starting point is 00:16:39 think when a boy like for the first date invites you to their houses because they want one thing and one thing and I'm just gonna put it out there I really do I also agree I hope that's not the case and I think that would be slightly insulting considering you've known him for six years but I just think that boys also aren't stupid so for him to even suggest you just go to his house is a bit like he's not he's not even embarrassed that it's so obvious yeah yeah yeah yeah so obvious like for me at least wine and dine you first and then you want to come back yeah yeah yeah i'm just putting my thought like my head on as though i was single if a boy first date asked me to leave their house i'd literally be like fuck off mate no but if you'd known him for six years okay so let's just play this six years i'd literally be like what no yeah it depends
Starting point is 00:17:29 you and jamie for example friends before say you were friends for six years and you had a friendship like you did and jamie was like oh do you want to come over for some dinner you wouldn't necessarily be like oh no take me out that's a friend date that's not a date yeah i know i know it's difficult to decide you know he's just asked to meet up in a romantic sense and he hasn't even asked to go around for dinner he simply asked me to go to his house yeah i'm sorry yeah i just feel a bit like i'd be like should we not go out for dinner to be honest i would probably decide not reply because i'd be so annoyed but maybe that's just the pathetic way to handle it and perhaps you should give him the benefit
Starting point is 00:18:11 of the doubt and suggest and be like i think rather go to dinner actually yeah be more fun to go out no yeah or even just like this is really nice restaurant can we go here like i just know like what just send him the name of a restaurant and be like, take me here. No! Take me here or I'm not going. No,
Starting point is 00:18:30 I'm joking. Do not do that. Um, once somebody told me that, um, she, she was like, oh,
Starting point is 00:18:39 I never pay for my dates. And I was like, I know exactly what you're talking about. Really? Yeah, anyway, she goes yeah when the bill comes she just says to the guy as it's being brought over by the waiter she goes thank
Starting point is 00:18:51 you so much that was so nice and before he's paid like i think basically he's just assuming i'm like no you by the way guys i do there's an etiquette here so like also come on when my empowerment you know but like i also like i'm a bit like an odd in between with this i think it's necessary and polite to offer to go half or pay towards something can i contribute in any way um can i split it please i find if i'm totally honest i find splitting more offensive than just paying but i would actually rather just pay for the whole thing or he and he goes same i'll get next time or i'll get the drink in the next place or whatever yeah or like if he if he was like no no no you i'm paying then the next time we have dinner i would probably be like no honestly please
Starting point is 00:19:37 let me pay yeah i genuinely would want to but if he said let's split i just find it a bit naff a bit yeah yeah yeah i so like girls split away but like if you're on a date or you know any romantic sense if you're whatever if you are on a date i find splitting on the first date just slightly offensive i just think it's quite old school and romantic to be treated if they're asking you out on a date they're inviting you they are taking you out therefore i kind of believe that they should be thinking in their head like oh i'm gonna treat this girl to a lovely meal you know yeah yeah yeah i think if you're being invited if you are like should we it's different if it's like a very suggest like general thing like let's go for drinks and then the girl's just
Starting point is 00:20:22 assuming the boy's gonna pay anything i am a bit like oh come on mate like we're in the 21st century like yeah and also i don't know why i keep saying me i say every other word these days where does it come from who have you been hanging out with but but i feel like if the boy goes can i take you out for dinner and then splits it with you no that's different that's not or let's just say it's that's not yeah yeah yeah that's us meeting up for a den that's not you taking me we have to yeah so in response to this girl i think i think you're right to be like what the fuck like i don't want to go to his house that's just lame and he should not it's it's bad form from him i think i agree but also i feel like if you were to show that dilemma to jamie would he be like no guys are so simple he just literally loves her company or no jamie would be like he wants to shag her i know jamie would
Starting point is 00:21:08 say that i've asked him i've grilled his my boy mind so many times before he'd be like no he just wants to shag because you were like jamie and i were really good friends he didn't say do you want to come over to my house we went for dinner if he said that i would be like what that's weird of you like at least take you out for a drink first like be a little bit unsubtle be a bit more subtle about it you know what i mean like make some sort of an effort right hang on no because this is a follow-up from the girl sorry second important dilemma if i go what do i wear to a staying in date i should say i'm and i should say i'm ancient i'm far too old to be on a first date let alone listening to amazing podcasts oh my gosh stop stop this now but i am listening and you can't stop me because i bloody love it seriously love love love the show keep it going
Starting point is 00:21:54 but we love you we love you that's that's difficult because i don't like i yeah age does because i doubt you would wear like like trackiesies that are, like, skimpy dark. Not that that's what you should wear, but do you know what I mean? I know. Like, maybe some, like, cool jeans and a laid-back tee. Like, I don't know. Yeah, or maybe, like... But how uncomfortable are jeans to watch a movie in?
Starting point is 00:22:19 Oh, I know. I would do trackies. And also, if you are going to get down and dirty, your jeans are so bummed out. Oh, to get off. Especially if they're tight. Yeah, and like, undoing the bottom. No, no, no, no. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Nightmare, whereas trackies slip right off you. Oh, God. We've gone right back on our advice. Like, no, do not go. It's after one thing, and then we're like, you know what, easy clothing. Get them off trackies. Yeah, we're like, don't go. Riff them off. Stand your ground't go stand your ground slash we know you're gonna go so let's just go straight
Starting point is 00:22:49 but you know what also on the other hand if that is actually what you're looking for as well you're just up for a good time like you love his company you know you're never gonna be in a relationship with him don't overthink it like just look at it in the same way that maybe he is like we get on so well we're friends like maybe we can like have some fun together i don't know do you know what i mean it depends on what you want from the scenario in this situation yeah it really does i feel like we've already we had a big on that one yeah we've done a 360 i'd like some some follow-ups on that please because i need to know what happened i really want to know who the guy is if you could just privately message me and let me know that'd be great yeah yeah yeah we have to know who this guy is we really need to know what happened. I really want to know who the guy is. If you could just privately message me and let me know, that'd be great.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Yeah, we have to know who this guy is. We really need to know. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio,
Starting point is 00:23:47 exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Okay, second dilemma is about this girl who is basically deciding if she fancies him or not. Okay. Hi girls, I love your podcast so much. It honestly keeps me sane.
Starting point is 00:24:18 I listen to it every Wednesday morning on the way to work and it sets me up with such positive vibes for the day. So thank you for that. I have a first date dilemma. I went on a first with a guy and how we had a really lovely time it was super chilled we chatted for hours we had a lot in common and he is clearly really lovely guy but I just don't feel like I wanted to kiss him off the bat I'm gonna say I was definitely attracted to him oh okay he was a good looking guy and he wants us to go out again which I definitely want to do because we have been chatting non-stop since but I'm just a bit
Starting point is 00:24:51 worried because every guy I have dated before him I have that instant attraction to am I being silly about it I have only met him once after all dot dot dot yeah I've had this before I've had this before and you're just like i really should fancy you you're so good looking but like i do not want to kiss you yeah if it's not there do you know what my my fur like actually what someone i did really date i met him and i was like oh i'm really not attracted to you but i really wanted to kiss him oh so like i was like you're not my type do you know what i mean so it it's not always, like, how hand... Like, there's been so many people that I've met, like,
Starting point is 00:25:27 and I'm just like, oh, girl, couldn't fancy you less, but you're stunning as a person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've had that where it's, like, on paper and they are really good looking, but there's just not that... Not the law of attraction. No, no, what is it called in France
Starting point is 00:25:40 where she's, like, real sexual magnetism, like, where you're just, like, you have urges to kiss them or whatever, attraction if it's not there it's not there and you can't force it and i don't think it's something that definitely doesn't grow over time if anything that shrinks over time with people so if it's not there initially i'm thinking no i don't think there's any harm of going on a second date with him though like really if you enjoyed his company and you've gone on non-stop talking then go on a second date because really then you've got no regrets and i think second date you still don't want to
Starting point is 00:26:08 kiss him then you know exactly i also would maybe give it see what kissing him is like because that might change your whole thing like oh my god wow yes sparks fighting all over the place yeah so maybe give that a go but from my experience like it isn't something that grows over time and attraction if anything like i mean you know when you're in a relationship for a long time like the the spark fades right like that's just what happens that's natural so if it's not there to begin with i don't think it's a great sign no i don't either if i'm totally honest with you however i really do urge you I know that we've just gone back on ourselves and you're probably like well great why would I go on another date but I really
Starting point is 00:26:48 do think you should give him one more go because one date doesn't you know you're always going oh what if and also you might actually just become best mates with him because by the sounds of it you get on really well yeah and also you might just be like your stunning best friend he's really good looking you get on really well and you're like for fuck's sake why don't i fancy you but you just don't and then 10 years later you know it's like that um by best friend's wedding that movie you know yes yes yes i do know that's such and you know what and monica you know monica and friends pete he's like gazillionaire or whatever who has all the electric stuff so she doesn't fancy him whatsoever but then she kisses him and she's like oh my god so it could be one of those scenarios
Starting point is 00:27:29 yeah it could be could be don't rule it out i do agree maybe just you know there's no harm going on the second date no harm okay next dilemma hey girls really been loving pod. Would love your opinion on the following dilemma. A short backstory to hopefully make it less confusing. I'm 22 and live in a small town where I go to uni, sharing a flat with two of my uni friends. One of my flatmates is now in a happy relationship with one of the guy friends from our uni group
Starting point is 00:27:59 since over a year. Coincidentally, he lives in the house across from ours with two other guys he's known from home. As his hometown isn't that far away from our uni town he's always had a group of guy friends that he knew from back home that we saw at parties sometimes but weren't really close with. One night last June he brought one of those friends to a very small gathering and we were really connected. At that time we saw more of the guy friends friends and a very loose friendship group started to form the guy I connected with was in this friendship group
Starting point is 00:28:31 he broke up with his girlfriend around the same time which eventually led us to kissing a few times and he stayed over twice we didn't sleep together though him getting over I know stunning him getting out of a six-year relationship and me leaving town and moving eight hours away for six months, long internship, didn't really put anything serious on the table. I always thought we could see how things are when coming back. We kept in contact while I was away,
Starting point is 00:28:57 but nothing too crazy, just checking in with each other. When I came back in spring, we did see each other a few times, mostly in group settings, sometimes alone. But I suddenly was very guarded as now there were more possibilities where this could lead over the next few months we saw each other quite a bit mostly though because of our mutual friendship group while he did show some interest in the beginning this called off as i couldn't decide whether i wanted things to progress when i did decide to go for it i reached out and asked if he wanted to go for a coffee he declined kindly and never asked to reschedule shit i later found out he briefly
Starting point is 00:29:31 dated a girl back then okay i later found out that he briefly dated a girl back then which does explain his actions over the summer we got close again still not very close though it feels like we were both very guarded now the actual dilemma okay i was just about to routine wow okay okay the actual dilemma he has now moved in with my guy friend across from our house he didn't live there before this means i actually do have to see him more often now whether i want to or not okay i still do have feelings for him and i'm contemplating whether i should make one last move really expressing them i don't know whether he is over it now or feels like I have friend zoned him as I am still very guarded and probably come off very indifferent. I did give some tiny hints over the
Starting point is 00:30:15 last few months, not very brave I know, but I don't know whether he picked up on them. It also feels like this the easygoing vibe we had last summer isn't there anymore due to all the forth back and forth over the last year and us having our guard up. I'm leaving town next summer so if I do want to make a move I can't wait too much longer. If he isn't interested though I will see him very often which I don't feel too good about. What do you think? Is it too late as things like this should feel easy and happen naturally or will I regret not putting myself out there? Sorry for the long one and thanks for the guys. for a pic for reference please don't join it was me drunk dialing him but it's really the only one i have oh he's cute looking and so are you you look like i know they really do look like such a good couple i like him i like the look of him yeah he looks
Starting point is 00:31:01 like a kind boy yeah but like we'll say quite cool this excites me okay this whole thing i've got excitement i'm listening to you yeah yeah i'm fully i couldn't be more invested yeah this is stunning okay right this is sexual tension when the parties go oh my god should she just express it all right, I think he's in love with her, but he's put up a massive guard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually think he could be in love with you. So I, okay, so this is how.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Is he still accepting your calls? If he was, he's not got the air. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's interested. And you're not mates. He's interested. I think how I would play it is I would maybe, I would just start flirting with him a lot more.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Flirt, flirt, flirt. Play on that feminine, sexy side that we all have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would do that. And then I would also maybe drop a few hints to like friends that you know will tell him like oh yeah oh god really fucking fancy him like I actually really like him or like something like that like he looks really fit tonight so and it will get back to him and then he'll start being like okay so she does think of me like that still and then hopefully it will then lead to some sort of a conversation and you know what i feel like you've got to a point now where you probably could lead it and be open and honest when i get yeah it's like you've got you know he likes you like it's not like does he
Starting point is 00:32:12 like me does he not we know you see in that photo you're literally in bed facetiming oh my god that's a big deal doing their bedtime facetime and also like if you've not spoken you've kind of like messed him about not not mess him about but you, you know, you played it pretty cool. You haven't been able to decide what you wanted. He's probably, like, she doesn't like me that much. Yeah, he's still picking up those phone calls. Still not got another girlfriend. Dated a girl in between.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Still going back to you. There's obviously some, like, magnetic drawback. There's something there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've really got to. That's what I would do. That's what I would do. Grab the bull by its horns on this one.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Woohoo! I would definitely start by just being really flirty because it's just yeah really play on start going to parties like make you take take control and organize group things with your girls and his boys so you're all mixing getting drunk together yeah and you just be live for him like use and abuse your friends to get to it yeah that's what i do with sophie and jamie i use an amusement to introduce me to fair boys she actually does but seriously if you don't want it to like be an awkward like oh shall we go for coffee be like should we do a group thing like let's do
Starting point is 00:33:18 this and then alcohol's involved and everything's a bit easier with alcohol god i'm just pushing you to be an alcoholic but seriously is yeah have a couple drinks really get that flirty feminine sexy side out do the whole thing do that whole thing when we were like you know when i say look when he's talking to you look at his lips because it will make him then think about kissing you think about kissing him think about kissing him when you're talking to him because if that's what you want to do and you're that attracted to him like it he'll feel it do you know what i mean that energy starts flying about yeah yeah go on girl it'll just be stunning i'm really excited for you can you please follow up with what happens i need more follow-ups i want photos of you guys holding
Starting point is 00:33:56 hands and kissing oh that's gonna be the next one yeah we want to hear that you're in a relationship next time also anyone listening a long i like the backstory that's what i like real graphic details we can really understand the scenario i know already he's so into you i know i know it i've got gut feeling with this one also in that photo as well she looks a little bit like your friend victoria i know it's not but uh doesn't she or he also looks like people like a boy from my uni which is weird yeah he's gorgeous a stunning couple i mean we know it's gonna happen we know it almost look a bit like brother and sister not in a bad way but you know how it's like what the girl said at the beginning of the potty
Starting point is 00:34:33 yeah it's like a subconscious thing where you go for someone that looks a bit like you yeah okay my wine of the week i know this is so basic and every girl's probably gonna be like yeah tell me something you can do but seriously um like world world get in the gulag that thing well actually world of warcraft what's it called world at war z or something or you play on their playstation or like oh god i'm so out of touch with all that yeah okay oh come on what is it get in the gulag you know that cod yeah that's call of duty that guys can we just appreciate so few things it's called all i say jim is i don't want to eat my dinner with get in the gulag in the background like it's
Starting point is 00:35:23 it oh my grinds my gears. I think it's the most annoying thing that he's ever done in a relationship. But you know what? Because he goes, one more game, one more game. Oh my God, it's like having a child. Or he goes, I'm nearly done, nearly done. I hear him die and he's restarted. He's like, no, I'm like, you just restarted.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Oh my God. No, that would drive me mad. But you know what? I actually think it's it's becoming more common now for older guys it's since the whole lockdown thing because they all got bloody xbox and playstation and since i he had his own room to do it in and then i went away and now it's my great living room oh yeah so now and now i can't get actually do you know why he's not here i'm gonna go i'm planning yeah move it back because it's genuinely my biggest pain in my life anyway so very basic and i'm sure lots of people will be like yeah well i think
Starting point is 00:36:10 people will be able to relate that a lot i mean every single girl that i know who has boyfriend has to deal with their boyfriend like playing xbox or whatever and they all play against each other like all the boys like no jamie doesn't do that that's like when they come and they put the head phone jamie does not have a head and they don't talk to each other no no that I'm that you're out the house if that's happening I just that's really really not fun for me I think it's a bit more social it's less it's less like gaming by myself to me it's a bit more social because they have banter with their friend but it means they're obviously then they spur each other on yeah exactly they spur each other on i'm like i can get really angry and he has to get off whereas he's not
Starting point is 00:36:49 gonna be like to his friends oh guys sophie's telling me off yeah yeah yeah that would be worse that would be difficult i so agree you can't claw them away from that oh god and then all the friends would be like oh fucking sophie like yeah yeah yeah i get a bad rap just for wanting a bit of peace and quiet peace and quiet in my living room on a friday evening my dinner in silence oh god with a bit of master chef on no i so am with you on that whinge and i'm so so happy i don't have to deal with that yeah i to be fair to my ex he was never into that which was absolutely lovely like yeah i didn't have that problem um so i've never had to deal with that but i can so understand that that is just not acceptable
Starting point is 00:37:29 should we rate the wine okay i'm gonna have to rate mine i'm doing mine in nine because i i literally could drink this morning day and night but it is literally kombucha but it's absolutely banging la brewery well you should buy that it's divine where do you get it from is it the one they sell in selfridges yeah selfridges and like planet organic and places like that okay i always just get the remedy ones because they're downstairs in my little shop remedies good remedies delicious um i've also melissa and i were very kindly gifted a wine from Rick Stein is Rick Stein it is yeah someone called him Rick Steen the other day and I was like appreciate it FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling
Starting point is 00:38:19 winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying i do who wants this last parachute i do enjoy the number one feeling winning in an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on fan duel casino where winning is undefeated 19 plus and physically located in ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca please play responsibly no they didn't rick steve let's go to rick steve's restaurant guys anyway it's um his white burgundy and it is so good like. We'll put a photo up of it, but it is 10 out of 10. Divine. I'm not getting any of that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Melissa didn't actually get to drink it because Jamie and I drank it all, but it was so smooth, really, really fruity, very flavoursome. You know the wines we like. Yeah, okay. I'm going to have to go out and purchase it just so I know what you're talking about. It was for both of us. So maybe we should go to his restaurant in Bath. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Okay, yeah, we can do that. Celebratory drinky pee in November, December for my birthday or something. Stunning. Right, okay, I'm booking in. Guys, that's all for us this week. Yeah, love you. Love you as everything. Thank you so much for listening.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Bye. Bye. thank you so much for listening bye bye that's it for this week Wednesdays but god don't you just fancy some more Melissa yeah I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas I want to know what happens well then tinies we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio

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