Wednesdays - Ep 39: THE ENGAGEMENT DEBRIEF

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

Hey everyone,Sophie is back! We get all the details of the engagement: Jamie getting down on one knee, the ring, and plenty more.This week we’re drinking a Thomson & Scott ‘Noughty’ alcohol-free sparkling chardonnay; https://www.waitrosecellar.com/type/noughty-organic-vegan-alcohol-free-564785We rate this wine a 9!S & M x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fandu Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario.

Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Hey, everyone. Hey, guys. Sophie's back. I'm back.

I'm well. I'm fine. That was... Fit and healthy. I listened to, like, five minutes of Jamie's podcast on it. I was like, no no gonna have to go off with why does he feel the need

to talk about like my toy bowel movements like it's just so gross every time he comes on the podcast he says something

about us it's like I think it's like a tick like it's like a nervous thing that he's got where he feels

a need like we were in Cape Town obviously recently and Tris Phipps came for lunch with us and like they

don't really know each other and he started came for lunch with us and like they don't really know each other and he started talking about my bowel movements and but like completely elaborated it like completely almost makes up and i was like you've got like a nervous twit where you feel the need to talk about bowel movement he does talk about his owners a lot as well yeah but that is true can't really see yeah hello little one he um tris as well such a gentleman was sort of like oh no oh my god no i bet he doesn't like bao cha before i open this it's called um that's horrible why did i say that better than like poo yeah yeah yeah okay right moving on from that this is organic alcohol-free sparkling chardonnay and it's called naughty naughty right well this is because i'm doing dry jam melissa isn't everyone's like why

are you doing that you should be celebrating but i'm like done enough i haven't drunk that much to be fair that's such a lot i drunk because it was my birthday no you didn't you you had christmas alone yeah i didn't do a crazy christmas you had like a lunch and then whoa i wonder if this is gonna be as good as that i feel like how do you pour a nice you had Christmas alone. Yeah, I didn't do a crazy Christmas. You had like a lunch and then, whoa. Oh, yay. I wonder if this is going to be as good as that. I feel like, how do you pour a nice... So you're not meant to tip the glass

and you're meant to just go slowly. And also you're meant to hold, twist one and hold the bottom. You're not meant to twist them both. My brother goes like this whenever he, I mean, this doesn't have a hole. My brother always holds it

in the hole like that. No, as in like when you take the popper out, you're meant to like hold the bottom so just twist the top. That's what I do oh jamie twists them both and i'm like no no no because he does it like whatever works you know what i mean like i'm gonna tilt the bloody glass i can't wait for the bubbles yeah oh cheers thanks love all right smell wise wait for me

smell wise oh my god that's familiar it smells beer. I really crave a beer at the moment. Honestly, sometimes I think I'm pregnant. I'm not. I've done a pregnancy test, everyone. But the cravings I've been having. Not that you crave a beer, but... All right, go on then. Okay, cheers.

Cheers. Congratulations on... Thanks. ...the engagement, which we're going to get to in a second. No, it doesn't taste like... It doesn't smell like beer. I like that. Ooh. No no that tastes alcoholic

yeah it really does that's really quite no that for me is a really good substitute because that genuinely tastes of alcohol okay i think the general consensus is that sparkling wines or like prosecco's alcohol-free ones are better than non-alcohol-free wines i'm sorry but i actually think that's genuinely so good. It does taste very much so. It's not sweet. Like, that, I would honestly think that's alcohol. Mm.

The one that I had last week, listen, you can hear the bubbles. Very bubbly. It's also a really nice bottle. Yeah, it looks like a... Like, it's cute. Yeah, and it's got... What it is, is it doesn't have the first taste.

You know, alcohol, the first sip, you're like, this has got, like, the more, the aftertaste of alcohol which is kind of just giving you like a champagne breath without the goodness of it oh god do you know what i mean yeah yeah it's really nice and it's organic and i think it's vegan too yeah it's vegan yeah um win win win eight pounds guys from waitress lovely eight pounds quite expensive for like a non-alcoholic but it is good yeah it is and you know why there's nothing else really on the market like it that's why what's so cool when you like french bloom i've not had a drink now in what day is it 11 10 days no i've done longer because i did it

no it's in 10 days okay right hold on when are we going to start drinking again first of feb that's about yeah first of feb what day is the first of feb it's a tuesday that's not really acceptable we'll do anyway because we deserve it we deserve it right maybe we'll do our one can we just cut the chase i can't wait any longer to talk about the engagement yeah go anyway what do i want to say okay so actually what was funny i don't know what I get nervous okay Jamie kind of gave a background on like where it was and like yeah he told you okay so yeah so I obviously as you guys know talked to Melissa about seven hours ago on the phone had we seen each other that day I'm like confused no I saw you there before but I was face I think it was like the third time I'd

facetimed you that day yeah and we were on FaceTime and Jamie was gaming. And I literally had forgotten, he told me a while ago, like that he was doing the Candy Kittens filming thing. And they've given him a free room for afterwards so we can go and like have, you know, spend a nice evening there. And this is at the Rosewood. At the Rosewood, which is where he says we had our first date. I'm not quite sure it was our first date,

but it was definitely within the first three months was probably our first like official yeah for me i think girls get so much more attached like to me i was like we've been on those dates but really maybe we hadn't it was no i think you'd spent a lot of time together maybe it wasn't like an official yeah we were like doing deliveries like you know after filming or whatever yeah and also it was kind of like not in secret at first but you were kind of like we didn't want people to know you were seeing each other at the beginning so maybe that was the first kind of like right we can go out and do a proper date now yeah and not care about who's gonna see us or whatever it was definitely like the first romantic thing we did and like what a lovely place to go it was lovely i remember had a massage in the massage women's

the whole time that was a not that was not very relaxing but yeah anyway you're lovely time moving past that i was really lovely um and so i he was like come this evening whatever and then i kind of forgot about it because we didn't really speak about it now i look back i'm like he was so chilled the night before that was so good of him to like keep it under wraps like that i know he said he didn't sleep till like 3am he like never doesn't sleep i was apparently sweetie pie anyway me and melissa and i was on facetime in the morning and he was like melissa why didn't you and your brother come around for a drink like this evening you know like at the rosewood at the rosewood and i was like getting my brows done later not really sure if i can put makeup on is it all right if i come in a hat i was like i'll see i don't know and you were like it's christmas come on let's have a glass of champagne and i was like then an hour later i messaged you like actually

yeah we'll come that sounds lovely yeah was it it was even later i think it was like a really last minute decision yeah yeah to be fair it was anyway jamie and i also facetime each other a lot well he facetimes me and he hadn't really faced something that day not that i noticed and then but now you look now i look back i'm like we whatsapp called which we've never done like oh my god no because he couldn't face i mean because he was obviously there anyway so i was like just planning to get there late not gonna lie because i was like oh candy kittens are obviously run over the production will be in there like can i get there like maybe an hour and a half late yeah yeah so i went to get there at four i like jumped in the shower at four lucky like i had my nails done really recently because

yeah she had her nails done the day before the day before because i remember we were together the day before and you're like god i really need to get my nails done yeah weird and i have my toes and you know what's also really weird the day before maybe two days before you sent me an article that someone had written about the engagement or something, and it hadn't even happened yet. I know, it was so... And Sophie was like, God, aren't people funny? And I was like, gosh, people are just so, like...

I was like, no, do you remember, I said to her, I was like, oh, my God, do you think this is really scary, Jamie? Because it basically, the article said that I had been like, we're going to get engaged at New Year's. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was it, that was it. And Sophie was like, have I said that on the podcast? And I was like, no. Yeah, that's it, I was yeah, yeah. That was it. That was it. I've never even spoken. And Sophie was like, have I said that on the podcast? And I was like, no. Yeah, that's it.

I was like, I must have said it on the podcast. They've taken it from there. Anyway, I was like, God, I probably scared the poor boy off. And that was really weird. So that happened. Then you were like,

I really need to get my nails done the day before. So that was perfect. Thank God I did that. Thank God. Thank God. Anyone thinking about even wanting to get engaged, I just think manifested by getting your nails done because that would have really upset me

if they were as bad as they are now oh gosh yeah you don't have bad nails when you're getting froze too anyway so we we get in the i get in the taxi because he was like we're finished and i was like oh shit i've literally just got out the shower it didn't realize it was so far away it was like 45 minutes i was like oops stand still traffic oh no so i'm there like with my wet hair like literally you saw me i had no it wasn't dressed nicely at all but anyway that you are you look lovely and then i get upstairs and it was so sweet i kind of like when i got to i had like this really weird feeling i was like why is he not like like something kind of hit me i maybe it was when i opened the door yeah were you like no because

you know that's it so i opened i rang the door and i was like this is a weird door like this isn't a hotel door room so it was like to the lobby part of it so you didn't walk through the bedroom I don't know I was like this funny and then he opened the door and he like skiddled back so you could see because there was loads of letters there was like four letters how long were the letters reasonably long but like not that long like like you know a small page paragraph yeah like a paragraph one of them was quite long i was like sobbing couldn't see through i knew the minute i opened the door the minute i opened the door what happened did we have the e-spam did we go like hot like i just started crying and i put i dropped my bag and my leather coat on the candles wax everywhere

it's still on my shoe now like it was all over me and i was like what's going on i kept just going what's happening oh but he like opened the door and ran back so i couldn't see him so you had to read the letters yeah and then he got down on one knee and then that is the funny thing i honestly can't remember walking into the room yeah it's a blur it that is the funny thing i honestly can't remember walking into the room yeah it's a blur it's such a blur like i i didn't even remember i can't vision him being on one knee because it was so like adrenaline because i'd already had all the letters so i knew what was happening um and then you saw the ring and you were like and then he opened it onto himself that's like like, show me the diamond. he couldn't open it properly

because he sent it out. So obviously, I saw Sophie and Jamie after the first thing, he was like, open the ring the wrong way. And he was like, upside down.

So he meant to go like this, and he was like, it won't open. There was like this light coming out of it. I was like, what is that bright light? Oh God,

guys, it is the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. I know. Every time I see it on Sophie, I'm like, he did well, because guys, I always said to him, like, it is the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. I know. Every time I see it on Xavier, I'm like... He did well, because, guys, I always said to him, like, I obviously gave him, like, a brief, as you do,

and he was like, I really don't like a diamond band, so I just thought I'd never get a diamond band. He just always said that. Oh, my God, he played that so well. But I actually don't think he liked them, and then he saw it and was like, oh, no, it does look really nice. But, yeah, he did very, very well. He has done he has done an excellent job the best thing about it is when you call everyone and that's the best thing melissa was like i was getting ready to come and see them

for a drink i was putting my makeup on like rushing a bit and you know when you're not looking like she didn't look at the camera and i was there with the ring like hello yeah melissa and i was like oh yeah like that and then she goes we're getting married and it was like oh and it was just like save you with her hand like smiling next to jamie and they were like honestly and i was like it was like not it was just like the most surreal moment i was like laughing crying like my eyes just filled up with tears straight away and i just done my makeup so i was like god it was just like the most magical thing ever no the funniest was his brother okay so his brother has two young children like babies so cute and um is his older brother yeah and he's just like really funny in himself like i just find him very funny jane was like hi and he like was

like oh let me show you they call each other butter and he was like butter let me show you like isabel she's doing this like putting the the phone was on the baby's face the whole time for 10 minutes jamie was going look at the camera be more aware be more aware zonda be more aware and he was like oh sorry about it let me just and he kept moving around and he clips in his hair but the charts have obviously like the little girl have put loads of clips in his hair and i was like this is the little girl put loads of clips in his hair this is like a scene or something i was like there i was like recording of that i know we don't it's so i was like i'm there like my smile was like aching i was like are you gonna look at the camera so eventually he looked eventually it was spicy but that was so funny um but yeah it's so

funny it was just it's such an amazing moment and then melissa came and we just got absolutely so drunk i remember so i ordered after that phone call i was like right we need to get champagne up to the rooms i sent you guys champagne up this is so i ordered ruin our blanc de blanc to go to your room but the ruin that you had was the rose one so did someone else send you ruin as well i don't know whether they did but how i know we had ruinar as well yeah yeah ruinar blanc de blanc is the white one but you had ruinar pink i don't i think they sent the wrong one but it doesn't matter you're really outside yeah i was because i saw the water and i was like that's that's not the right one because i always think like

pink is like good for girly but i was like i wanted the white specifically because it was like yeah that's bad maybe maybe it was there was a lot when i woke up in the morning there were a few in there yeah i think we drank jamie's and yours and then i think when we got back up there had been a few deliveries because i woke up and i was like oh my god they've all got a sip out of them this is so upsetting i was like yours we definitely drank by the time i came we had a monstrous piss up and by the time sophie and jb came down oh my god no no no so no but i was so sober by the time i came down because i think it was the adrenaline yeah so you had a couple of champagne no we'd had your whole bottle okay so you must have been a bit pissed yeah but i wasn't i honestly and you know me i'm such lightweight i really wasn't like i was and then it was the minute we were with you.

It was like, oh, we've spoken to everyone now. And I suddenly became, I was like, whoa. It was a minute. Then it was like. I had that noisy margarita. I was like, whoa. Yeah, we had lots of cocktails. And then we ended up having a big old boozy dinner.

And it was just like, oh. But look guys, the bill came. And they clear away Melissa's steak and chips, which I watched her eat. She went, we haven't had our maze. We've not eaten any food. I was like, we've just eaten. I was so drunk.

I was like, we haven't had our main courses yet. And Sophie was like, what? I know. We were so drunk. Also, Melissa and I kept getting lost in this path. It was huge. I kept coming up the stairs. Going down to the loo and i was like coming out

of another exit and i was like god where am i it was like i know i know melissa went to raffles i did went crazy i had to celebrate on your bar i did wake up and i was like oh god you're not hung over though like you're on such it's such a weird oh my god amazing feeling and now the one the wedding's being planned the wedding is being planned which is just crazy which is really quite full-on guys actually time just goes so quickly it really does and you have there's such a big backlog now for some more covid wedding so it's like you actually have to get on with it quite quickly don't you you don't have time to like i know i know i'm lucky that and also my sister got engaged a week after me which is crazy so guys listen to this my

my sister's fiance called my dad three days before jamie like what are the chances and so when my dad called when jamie called my dad my dad's like are you pranking me because he was like sure yeah and then jamie was like that was a bit odd. Yeah, magic chamber? So we're like, that was quite rude, actually. Yeah, like, oh, shit. Like, really emotional. Oh, God, Patryk, bless him. Patryk. Someone's written in. Okay, so this is a little message from Megan. Hey, guys, love the podcast,

and congratulations, Sophie, on getting engaged. Such great news. It's the best feeling in the world, and I'm very happy for you both. But seriously, where is the photo of the ring dying to see it and you've blanked it out of everything come on i can't wait anymore lots of love guys yeah there's been quite a few people have been saying there's been so by the way i did not not show the ring this is obviously sent in at the very beginning yeah so since then we've seen the ring obviously yeah yeah but now i'm like embarrassed about it so basically i didn't want to do a photo like with my hands in the photo

i just didn't want to do it i don't know why but that's like i get it like i think it's a bit like i just feel like it is like it's like a new item it's quite like i was saying this to jamie it's almost like i know it's silly but like a new handbag or a new pair of shoes you don't take a picture up close that like look what i've just got yeah i don't know and also it's quite personal and i guess like you do want to keep some of it a little bit personal just for a little while yeah it wasn't like you thought about that but you're like i'm just not gonna do a big close-up picture of the ring yeah yeah and then i think because i didn't bless all my friends who i facetimed then just thought oh she's and i think Jamie was like, oh, Sophie's not showing the ring.

I was like, I'm not not showing the ring. I just am not doing a big old... Close-up pic. So then, bless all my friends, we're doing, like, covering, blanking it out. And I was like, oh, God. Oh, my God. But, yeah, I have shown the ring now, so... So we've all seen the ring now.

There's quite a few photos of it in the photo dumps, isn't there? So if you want to see it, go have a look at Sophie's Insta. You'll find a picture in no time. Oh, really? Is there? I don't... No, there's one in particular which of it in the photo dumps isn't there so if you want to see it go have a look at sophie's insta you'll find a picture in no time oh really is that i don't know there's one in particular which i really really liked and it was like your hand was on jamie's like shoulder god i like you know the one i mean i think wait which one is it this no that was before i was in gay it's like that oh right yeah got you okay guys it was posted on the 28th of december and it's the last photo on the dump. Go and have a looky. Okay, so yeah.

But yeah, my sister was literally, I went for lunch with her like two days afterwards and she was like, honestly, do you think you're Kate Middleton? Like, what are you doing? Why are you riding the ring? Like, why? Oh, no. I was like, what?

Is that what people are thinking? Like, I'm really precious. Was not the case at all. Anyway, we've got some fans. That's my engagement story. Hope you've enjoyed that we can't wait to hear about wedding dilemmas that you're having along the way now that's gonna be the next thing that's so exciting oh god we've got quite a few

we just feel so grown up i still can't believe that you're engaged like it's so you can't either sometimes every time i I see the ring, I'm like, I honestly, like... She's crying. No, no. It just, like, shocks me every time. Like, it's just so surreal. It is very surreal. Get over it, Melissa. Get over it.

Get over the time. No, it is very surreal. Every time I look down, I remember... It's crazy. What I can't picture is me in a wedding dress. Yeah, that'll be a very emotional moment. Knowing me something terrible happened on the day. I will fall out my eyes.

Yeah, that'll be emotional. Okay moment knowing me something terrible i will fall out my eyes yeah that'll be emotional okay right topical stuff so kate's turned 40 she looks unbelievable i also did also think that she was already 40 not i so did i i'm so really shocked that she was in her 30s i thought she was literally 45 yes that's awful by the way i'm a massive fan of her same but like i just didn't think she was still in her 30s same i guess it's because she has to dress so conservative and like be so proper like you just and she's got a lot of kids like you just think she's just like an older i don't know an older slightly older woman like 30s she's only five years older than emily rat i thought we can say the new i was like what an emily rat can you believe that yeah but emily rat is yeah i know but they just dress so differently imagine if m rat dressed like that no no kate's face i think looks much

older than emily rat m rat would have had loads of botox in hers and kate wouldn't have kate has no lines on the forehead i'm sure oh no maybe she does maybe that's why i came apparently they all say that kate has like more psa and all those like really good right the non-injectable invasive whatever right she's just bad i like her photos melissa what do you think of them yeah okay so there's this picture well i actually think she looks great they've made her look super pale which i don't really understand why but she looks young in it fast i think she's just beautiful yeah she's just a very i really like that photo she's just got a very stunning that photo is lovely but the one before very stunning smile. That photo is lovely. But the one before...

I don't know what you mean. She looks pale. I don't know. They've put a weird effect on it, but she does look very elegant and lovely. I like them. I think, you know, she's... It's regal.

It is very regal. Wait, so do we think this photo shoot... Okay, so this was done specifically for her 40th? Yeah, because it's going to be hung on the walls. McQueen dress. Stunning. Lovely stuff. stuff yeah I love her we love we love Kate okay right next bit of news oh should we talk about the fact that Kanye

has bought a house opposite Kim I mean I did actually see this on Instagram the other day and I was like oh that's sorry I just thought great co-parenting but apparently she's not really oh my god that's so bad she's going to be like snogging Pete Davidson he's going to be like over the road preaching or like I thought when I first thought I thought they must have a really great co-parenting situation going on that he's bought a house close to be near the kids that's what I thought but it's obviously not the case I mean not opposite Melissa like she'll be like literally imagine like people have good relationships and like all his like beggy like Instagram babes at his house which is what he has yeah mean, that is obviously creepsville.

Also, do we actually think Pete and Kim are an item, or is it a Kardashian-Piast? Why do people like him? I don't know. What does he do? Is he an actor? No, he's a comedian. He's so funny.

Is he? I like him, but I shouldn't. Apparently, he's got a huge dick. Oh, really? Yeah. There's so many memes. It's like, i bet pete davidson just texts back okay well that's why no i know but like sorry you can have a huge dick but

not i know how to use it he still must have chat but he paints his nails black and i find that interesting oh that is interesting no he must he must know how to use it if kimmy k is going there i think he's just jokes i think he makes her laugh and he's a big tall guy like yeah he's got a person whereas kanye i don't think that don't think ever really opened his mouth i didn't have much of a personality i don't think kanye's dick would have been big i'm sorry but i just don't i just don't small hands oh really yeah anyone with small feet and hands so he always goes oh no i do i honestly always i know i know but it is true like Like, it really is. Look, you've got to take note of these things.

If they've got unusually small feet for a boy and small hands, it's like we all know what that means. What if they've got big hands and smaller feet? What does that mean? I don't know. That's tough. Or maybe they've got like big balls and a small dick. I don't know. Oh, God. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Oh, God. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11pm every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario.

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Should we go on to the first dilemma? This is a wedding theme, which is really quite exciting. Should I i read this one do you want to um i'll read this one hey guys huge fan of the pod since day one oh i was so pleased to hear that sophie and jamie got engaged not only because i think they're a great couple but also because i can't wait to see all the bride and hen do and space for my own wedding planning oh that's true make it a little public public in um pinterest board oh can you do that i think so some people can like follow you and i hope that my wedding is i think after after the um wedding then release it because you don't people copying yeah yeah so

true my dilemma is as follows how do you deal with people assuming they're invited to your wedding when you're not sure if you're inviting oh my god you're gonna go see this we are going through this i love it how i'm you're like my fiance is international we're having the wedding in his home country not long after i got engaged i met up with some friends who were lovely and congratulatory but then one whipped out two travel books was like i'm so excited to travel to the wedding oh shiza i was taken aback and said something polite um but not committal and move the conversation on if i was getting married in uk i'd most likely invite the group as even guests but with that with the wedding abroad evening guests aren't possible right yeah you see you invite people after the ceremony i've been invited to a wedding like that

before right okay we're having a lot of guests anyway so i don't know whether to avoid any awkwardness and invite them or whether to stick to my guns and apologize and say sorry but they're not getting an invite any help would be much appreciated i just want to read why she doesn't want to invite these particular people so i'm guessing this is just me reading between the lines you know when you have a friendship group and there's like two people that are friends with the friends and they're always kind of there but you're not actually that quick like close with them and if it's in a broad wedding i'm guessing they have to really keep the numbers numbers numbers down um i mean i am so i i literally i'm i'm terrible jamie and i are both literally i

invite everyone to everything like i would invite i don't know i'm honest like yeah and we're both so bad so i'm really don't know how to do it what would you say because i don't know i think like it's your freaking wedding like stitch your guns if you don't want them there like you just say like it's a really small intimate wedding and sorry like you don't even have to apologize yeah like if it was a bigger wedding like i would have you but like it's a really small intimate wedding with our nearest and dearest like people that i really really love and i'm close to and it's abroad you know i think someone said to me today actually about my wedding she said you've got to like look out into the crowd and every single person who is there you've got to want to be cornered into having a conversation

with them she was like you don't you know when you're at a party you're like oh god i'm having to talk to like so and so's godfather like she was like every single person there you're you know it's your day you should want firstly and you've got to see them in your future because i was like that's so true yeah you can't just invite people because it's like gonna not upset them or not upset they have to be a lot like should their partners come because i've never like are they even gonna be long run do you know what i mean yeah i think the whole i think unless there's a ring there's a there's kind of like no no no like my close friends like obviously you can bring which sorry can we move on to you no no we're still on this flipping dynamic stop jumping

jumping on no like so if you're if you haven't met the other half really at all but they've been with them for three years but let's say you've met them twice but you're really close with one of them do you invite the other half or do you just say you know like unless there's a ring on it i think how close you are with the person like if they were my close i wouldn't want that i know that they'd have such a bad idea if their other half was there yeah yeah but i think if i'm not that close with them and it's so hard i don't know god it's i think at the end of the day it's your day you have to follow your girl it's really hard policy but is it really because i'm like it's kind of like my family and his family's party do you know what i mean in like some way what do you mean it's like it is your day but actually it also is everyone else's day because i i want mostly everyone else

to have the best time like if they don't have the best time then i won't yeah but at the same time you have to think like it's for you and not for them it's a difficult one i think you've got to really spoon up some advice here because we've just tiptoed around the subject but this is okay i think you clearly don't want them to come and they were never on your so you've got to stick with your initial guns don't in pity invite people so that's what i would say yeah the fact that you've written in this you already didn't want it's already saying to me like you really don't want them to come and the only reason that you're even considering them coming is because they've assumed they're coming so then unfortunately you know it's not a bad thing you would have loved them to come but slash you wouldn't just like just know the logistics just you've got to stick to your guns on this one

right dilemma two so this is still on the theme of weddings prenup hello lovely ladies please keep it on i've been with my boyfriend for three years we are both now 30 he is amazing and i knew immediately he was the one and he feels the same too we moved in together after five months and we've bought a house and a dog oh that is quite soon the old five month but i guess it depends on age right the only issue we have is marriage and prenups. My boyfriend runs a very successful business with his best friend and has recently become extremely well off. He is so generous to me and it isn't an issue in our normal life. I know I'm very lucky.

However, about a year ago, he was advised either not to get married or to get a prenup to protect his assets and the business. I know his friend would expect this too. He raised this to me and I did not take it well. I always thought marriage was for love and I think the idea of a prenup is very unromantic as it is meant to be forever and suggests a lack of trust about what I would do if we were ever to break up. While I agree that it shouldn't be entitled, well I shouldn't be entitled to half his money or his business if we broke up, I find it insulting that he thinks he needs this protection and to me I would really tarnish getting married.

We didn't really resolve the issue, but I did say that I would rather sign one than not get married. I haven't brought it up since, even though I think about it a lot and I would love to get engaged. Okay, right, so okay. I guess my question is, would you ever sign a prenup? Is my reaction valid? What would you do if you were me?

I'm also conscious that I've been ready to get engaged for quite some time and it makes me sad that it doesn't seem to be on his radar, though it might be related to this whole prenup issue. What would you do? I'd hate to be someone who is pressuring him into it, etc. Okay, so there's two. I so understand her point of view. what would you do? I'd hate to be someone who is pressuring him into it, et cetera. Um, okay. So there's two, I kind of,

I so understand her point of view, but then at the same time, if you love him so much, you'd be like, Oh God, I'll sign the prenup. Cause I want to prove to you that I'm not going to do it. Yeah.

I understand why she's upset. You can look at it from both sides. It's like, um, Susan in Desperate Housewives, Susan in Water, you know, with that rich English guy.

I think you've got to look at it like, I'm pretty sure it won't have been him who suggested the prenup. It would have been like his lawyer or his friend or his parents. You know, I don't think if you guys are so great, he would have thought, oh, he would have been influenced. And he's probably just thinking, thinking well maybe this is the right thing to do it is ultimately just a sensible decision like i know it's nice to think everyone stays together forever but so many people when they get married think they're going to be together forever what is it like she gets nothing it means that like she'll keep what she has and he keeps what he has when they if they do get separated like babies and stuff and she has

nothing i think that whoever makes more money still owes like um child support right got it but like so say if they split up she would then own half of his business oh yeah that's that's and that's like his hard so like i if i was you i would be like oh my god 100 i'll just sign the prenup like i want to prove to you that i don't want any of your shit anyway i so agree i don't want to do that like i want you know like if we're married then you share it with me but like if we do ever split up you have to be realistic like you don't know what's going to happen in 30 years i do know what you mean but that would it would tarnish it it would be a bit like well this is bummer and then when he engaged it proposes i would be a bit like

well you kind of like it does just take away the fairytale aspect of it but i totally agree like i i don't think he's it's a really hard one i would just sign it because i'd be like i don't want your shit anyway i would do it just out of like not spite but literally to prove to be like god i would be like yeah like that's not anything that i would want anyway if we were to break up so yeah 100 i'll sign it yeah yeah same and also like to like put your fingers up to also it protects you as well so if you you get divorced or, like, whatever, and, like, you know that you're keeping everything that you're entitled to that's yours.

Yeah, and, um... Yeah, I don't think it's... I mean, do people really... Are prenups a normal thing? I don't know. Prenup is a very big thing in America. Like, people do it all the time. I don't think in the UK it's called a prenup.

There's, like, contracts, but I don't think it's a prenup. It's not quite as stable. Whereas there's a certain type of prenup in America which is literally, like, just protects you so much so, like, you can't lose it. And if I'm honest, like, the amount of stories that you hear about people that lose half of their business or whatever...

Yeah, I mean... Like, that's... I think maybe losing half of, like, your house or, like, you know, doing stuff like that's different if you half of like your house or like you know you doing stuff like that's different if you've like built that life together but if you've got like a business that you've literally like put your blood sweat and tears into yeah and then you know your relationship for whatever reason falls apart they can then take half of it like that sucks yeah that does suck i haven't even thought i think if you're really nice people like

you would give what you would believe the other person has the right to, but, like, you wouldn't want to give your business. I get the business part. Yeah, and I think... Because then they have the right to make decisions on half of everything as well, whereas they wouldn't have done before. Do you know what I mean? Really, surely there's got to be, like, a contract in place where they can't.

Oh, yeah, yeah, if you sign a prenup. And they can just be like, well, I'm going to sell sell it now liquidate it they can just sell half their shares god okay yeah see that's difficult i know it i so get your side though because it's like you're like why would you even think why would you even do my marriage before we've even gone engaged yeah yeah yeah yeah well at least to be that that says to me that it is on his radar yeah that he's thinking he's thinking about the future but he's also just making you aware of like you know i've done well or whatever and i have to i've been advised to protect my assets i hope you don't take that the wrong way but it's just protecting my success or whatever with my business partner yeah because

his business partner doesn't want to lose half of it either probably like the other half i get your part but as what i would do is i'd be like fine if you want to and half of it either probably like the other half i get your part but as what i would do is i'd be like fine if you want to and do you know what even by saying that it's almost like an unsaid prenup because you're almost yeah yeah it's just like airing that topic and if he has become super successful from this business and like melissa said put his blood sweat and tears into it i do i do kind of get he's not saying you can't have half the house or like i know he's not saying when we get divorced it's just like life is yeah life isn't a fairy tale and i think if you're very much so like i don't want to have a prenup i don't want to sign it

that it's then almost makes your intentions look a bit weird do you know what i mean yeah yeah it's almost like well why not what's the problem with you signing it you're not losing anything you're you're you're potentially getting from this is gaining so why wouldn't you sign it oh god do you know what I mean he might be like well why do you have such an issue with it it's literally just signing a piece of paper to you but to me it's yeah yeah god I've not there you go guys wise words yeah anyway it's a difficult one but i think it's just unfortunately like you have to like it's it's not just yeah just marriage with some people is it look and yeah we're not doing i do get both your sides but i think you've got to look at it from a really logical yeah like non-white yeah very the way a man thinks like we're so we think

so differently to them and he's probably thinking the way melissa's thinking be like logically why wouldn't you sign it like you're yeah it doesn't make any difference to you you're not losing or gaining anything from signing this whereas he would lose half of everything if you didn't yeah exactly so yeah so don't maybe take it too personally right guys it's that time of the week when we jump on to single diaries sophie doesn't have a whinge because she's so pleased the ring yeah she's being given no whinges allowed for at least three years for me no i'm joking no one just for me this week so we've got more time on the single so please divulge so single diaries is now over

we're closing the chapter we're closing the single diary chapter the whole diary throwing away the key oh god yeah okay so she's officially so one of the listeners wrote in a really funny thing we were out for dinner last week oh yeah and um our producer katie sent us really funny basically one of our listeners one of you guys has like done some good stalking and i figured out here it was it's quite funny um and i've got a really funny story to tell which i've been all the way on to okay so i can i just tell what the list is that the listener was like are you dating toby watkins he's so fit as such an upgrade so i've got it i'm gonna read it iby watkins he's so fit as such an upgrade so wait

i've got it i'm gonna read it i'm gonna read it it's very mean not an upgrade let's not read that bit that's me just read it all right you read it okay right so i have to just say melissa you are 100 dating toby watkins so fit and one upgrade major stalker vibes i know haha really good stalking really good detective she's at that stage where she's like I'm like you can post the photo so he was trying to get me to put a photo of him and I was like oh no no I can't you were going to I know I almost got convinced then yeah anyway anyway okay so I went to his family's house this was like before we were like I can't wait for story official and it was like it was anyway it was really really lovely and I woke up it was like 7 30 8 a.m in the morning everyone's still kind of asleep there was no movement in the house right toby was awake we

were talking and i was i'm just gonna go to the bathroom didn't have any clothes on and why did you do that naked i don't know okay right you know what's coming so i'm on this on the top floor and like he shares um like there's a big like family bathroom which like him and his brothers like share yeah and there is um both brother he's got two brothers and both brothers one's got um a wife who's um pregnant and the other one's got like a long-term girlfriend and only the pregnant um wife and brother were on the top floor with us so we were sharing a bathroom anyway they were sound sound asleep how do you know and it's quite like it's like a lovely old house but like it creaks at night when there's no other noise so i was like tiptoeing in and i

like shut the door and i don't want to lock the door because i don't want to be too loud and like wake up um the girl that was pregnant because she just had her vaccine she was like feeling about unwell the day before so i was like right i really don't want to wake her up so i was like didn't lock the door because it makes such a big creak and i was like no one's gonna come in so i went i went for a pee and i was washing my hands and i was like butt naked right oh my god so but like i'm pressed up against the sink so like why are you pressed up again i was washing my hands okay so i wasn't stood i wasn't stood in the middle of the room so that's what i'm saying so like that was covered

my bottom portion was covered because i was up against the sink washing my hands the bathroom doors the bathroom door starts to open really slowly like but like suspiciously slowly to the point where i'm like it might be toby coming in well you're not like oh straight so i like covered up my boobs and like like faced away so it was like whoever it was was gonna basically see the side of my butt and it's like i was like almost like do i say something opening the door real slow and i just washed my hands and it makes quite a noise i was like whoever would have been outside Do I say something? Oh, God. He's opening the door real slow. And I had just washed my hands, and it makes quite a noise. I was like, whoever would have been outside, like, in that bedroom,

would have heard it. So I was like, maybe it is Toby. So I didn't say anything. I was facing away, like, the door. And it was his brother that was in the downstairs room, thought no one would be upstairs in that bathroom, and came up to have a shower. And he opened the door and just looked at me. He was almost, like, in no it's like two seconds or three seconds it wasn't like half a second it was like

i am done his eyes like almost like popped out of his head and he's like shut the door i'm like i just started laughing i didn't like say anything and i get a towel why did you not when you heard the door open did you not think might fancy grabbing a towel and covering up my boobs and butt i'm like what went through your mind i am done i thought it might be i don't want to make a big deal about the fact because i didn't want to wake anyone up i don't want to be like don't like because i was like if it is him like it's fine i'm like on the loo or anything i just finished washing my hands oh my god anyway so then he obviously goes to the room with toby and he's like you don't know and toby goes i know what you've just done why are you on this level like why are you you're still in the bathroom

i'm still in the bathroom i grab a towel i walk into the bedroom i open the door he goes no melissa no no no i'm still in i was like i've got to relax and then we go downstairs for breakfast and she's already filed a report oh my god and i just remember thinking i was like thank you so much that is such good podcast content like that is the best thing that is so funny Oh, my God. And I just remember thinking, I was like, thank you so much. That is such good podcast content. Like, that's just the best thing. That is so funny. Oh, should we rate this wine? I'm honestly giving it a nine for a non-alcoholic.

I prefer it to the one that we had before, that non-alcoholic. Yeah, it is nice. And it's organic. That's my favourite one that I've had. No artificial stuff in there. I've literally drank the whole glass. Oh, my God, you really have. I know.

I'm really quite thirsty. I think I probably just need water. I'm parched. But stunning. It's called Naughty. Yeah. Oh, you naughty. Oh, that's what it says.

It's not called Naughty. Okay, what? So what's it actually called? Is it called Naughty? Oh, it is called Naughty. As in naught. As in naught percent alcohol. Is that what it is?

Yeah. Naught. That was very good of me to look into it. I know. Also, like, you're quite dyslexic. I'm surprised you even saw that because I... The spelling issue. I read that as just naughty.

Oh, yeah. No, I know how to spell naughty. That's one of the things I do know how to spell. Oh. Okay, guys, love you. Thank you for listening. Bye. Thanks for listening.

Bye. Bye. for listening thanks for listening bye that's it for this week wednesdays but god don't you just fancy some more melissa yeah i'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas i want to know what happens well then tinies we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of Wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio