Wednesdays - Ep 42: Never play acoustic guitar on a first date!

Episode Date: February 1, 2022

This week we asked for your funny and embarrassing stories and you truly delivered. Dating disasters galore-enjoy!This week to celebrate the end of semi-dry Jan, we were drinking Veuve Clicquot Champagne. Our rating: 10/10!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connects ontario.ca please play responsibly oh hey hey guys oh guys i'm having a real issue my eyeballs today she's honestly just pulled her whole eyelid i've never my mom literally pulled up oh my god sophie star yeah i know that my mom because she has eye contacts used to always do that to like She's honestly just pulled her whole eyelid. I've literally pulled up. Oh my God, Sophie, stop. Yeah, I know, but my mum, because she has eye contact, used to always do that to like when her eye contact lenses went dry. So now I learned to do that and it really does reset like whatever. Reset the eye.

But then you're going to make... Keep crap open this. Yeah, crap open. Keep crap open the crap. She's popping open verve because we decided that we needed to treat ourselves. And we haven't drank. Oh, that's a lovely sound. Oh my God, oh my God.

Yeah, we were supposed to do a bit of spillage and yeah, we thought we made it to, what was it, 28th of January? I did it for 20 days. Cheers, guys. This is the celebratory glass of champagne. This is the first glass of champagne since your engagement that I've had with you apart from the day off no you're joking

no i'm not actually yes i'll sip on up sweet cheese and we've got dinner tonight you know what verve's so good because it's it's still really nice but it's not like mega expensive like it's just a perfect middle of the road i love love it. Fail safe, get me Verve. Jamie's sister-in-law, so going to be mine, she only drank champagne and she was like, Verve's just not every day. I was like, I love you. Verve's just the house champs. The house champagne is Verve.

Also, apparently English sparkling wine is meant to be like incredible. We should try that. Well, you have tried it. I know, but we should try it on the podcast. It's like a really nice one.'ve been recommended some we should try some yeah my friend alice hansen actually has her own company and she's like not her own company you tell me about this yeah she like i don't really quite know what she does but alice if you're listening you can fill me in okay lovely but she yeah she's into us english sparkling wine so she

can recommend us one it's also a friday bit of on a Friday it's just what we lead isn't it yeah it's so acceptable so so acceptable it's so so acceptable and it's past midday so we're okay yeah it's basically evening basically I'm a bit like away with the fairies they seem I have to like take control I also feel like you're in such a good mood I can just tell from the moment you woke up I woke up this morning to like five voice notes from you and I could just tell that you were you woke up, I woke up this morning to like five voice notes of you and I could just tell that you were smiling when you were talking. Oh yeah,

I was this morning and now I've gone into a worse mood because Jamie's just like destroyed our evening plans so now I'm a bit like... It's because he's so fickle and he's tired, right? Yeah, he went and played golf

at 3pm on a Friday and he was like, no, I'm not going for dinner. I was like, oh, right, okay. Well, there's eight people planning on how many people. Yeah, he's going gonna let down the team

he is he's gonna mess up the whole evening plan he really is but you know just gonna tackle that one thing at a time let's get through the pod first um have a go at jamie yeah we've got loads of things to catch up on we do okay go on i feel like you've got more to talk about than i do okay well i've just come from a wedding scent scenario which was really yeah so apparently firstly was this no it wasn't someone told me that your scent is the most connected to your memory so that's why when you when you walk into a room and you smell something you have memory yeah yeah yeah I literally have sweet for shit so that's why they do yeah oh my god that's I think it's such a lovely thing

having a scent for a wedding. So you went, where did you go, Jomelaine? So we went to Jomelaine and it was just like the most incredible experience. They give you all these scents. You have a sniff, sniff, sniff. I mean, to be honest, it was quite hard because my nose actually felt like raw afterwards.

Yeah, apparently you need to smell coffee. Yeah, they run out. So I kept smelling my jumper in between. To try and cleanse the palate. Just to try and cleanse the nostrils. But yeah, should I tell everyone? Maybe I'll save it for what we chose. But we've chosen our scent.

Oh my God, I'm so excited. And it really smells like my mum. Oh, lovely. I was like, it's just going to sound like one big day of mum. And did you both choose the same one or did you like have different ones? And then you were like, oh no, we both have the same one. We both basically chose the same one. There was one that's varying.

So we've like ones up in the air, but we could layer it with three scents, they said. But you layer it with two. So we've layered two. The underlying one is orange blossom and because it's in Seville, that's pretty amazing, right? Oh my God. So that was really fun. Oh gosh, so exciting. And we found our wedding planner. That's ultra luxury, that is. Which was really fun um oh gosh so exciting and we found our wedding planner ultra luxury that is which was really quite epic yeah all confirmed all confirmed we're going with gsp who are just

amazing and actually jemima's been best friends with jamie since they were like 14 so it's so it's actually so sad and you know she'll make it good she'll be perfect make it perfect yeah yeah exactly oh my god you can't be a bridezilla around her then i know but i think that's always gigs it'll like rain me yeah yeah yeah yeah because boy give me a leash and i'll run this week i've been absolutely crazy have you before we'll get to that with the bride okay so we've got some stories that well we asked you guys for some funny stories this week and you guys are definitely delivered actually my sister reminded me of one that i have to tell you and it's just oh my god too funny and we can actually name a shame so um before my sister and i moved

out of my dad's apartment in london when our boyfriends used to stay so my ex and I moved out of my dad's apartment in London when our boyfriends used to stay was with my ex and George's current boyfriend we would obviously say fiance we would obviously share the same apartment as my dad and um one night um Barry just got very drunk they went to sleep whatever and my dad woke up in the middle of the night and he turned the light on and was just set stood in the his slept walked. And I'm not delivering a very obvious slept. Start bollock naked with just his black socks from his suit on. Turned my dad's light on and just stood in the room at the bottom of his bed. And my dad went, Tom, are you OK?

That's horrible. That's horrible. It's really like he's possessed. Also the fact fact he was naked start bollock naked start bollock naked bull sacks out everything and apparently he just stood there and then he woke up came to and was like oh oh and just walked out of the room imagine the next morning again no one spoke about it no stop this now no more jokes about it my dad told me but like tom was like told my sister but they never he was too mortified to bring it up too mortified you've got a joke about stuff like that you've got to bring it up and joke about it like sorry about that so last night i think i can't i can't quite remember

what happened but i just remember being like i should probably get my sister to actually voice me to him because it is so funny oh my god not good not good imagine doing that as a girl or like sleepwalking into like your boyfriend's parents bedroom imagine me or you doing that that is mortifying i don't think i like i'd be mortified but i wouldn't really care i think it's worse for a boy it's just it's just weird that you then suddenly wake up and you're at the end of the bed yeah yeah i'd be terrified i'd be i'd be scared i'd be like they've been possessed i remember once once I, oh, actually, it's really quite creepy. I remember my friends, I went around to her house when I was younger

and I walked into the downstairs loo and her dad was doing shit. And I'm like, firstly, why not do it in your bathroom when you've got an 11-year-old walking around? And also lock the door. I said, lock the door. Yeah. And I walked fully into it. Like, I rushed in and I just stood there.

I froze. And he had to literally go, shoo. He was like, go away. I was like frozen. In my mind, I was like, move, move, move. Oh my God, no, it's the shock of it. I think when you like walk into situations, you're like, have I really just done this?

Is this really happening right now? A bit like you with Taylor. Yeah. Well, not Taylor. Yeah, the rather situation. It's the funniest thing that he went to you no but listen no don't come in i'm still in here don't come in actually another one about my sister's boyfriend when they first when he first ever came to our holiday house in

spain we had like we went on a boat one day and my dad was like at the front of the boat he was sat at the back you know in his trunks and his penis was coming out the side of his trunk and i'd literally met him for the first time like he'd arrived that morning and i i just saw my dad being like tom like do you want a beer walking over and i was like i need to save this poor boy so i just literally practically sat on his knee because i was like i just can't bear for the embarrassment that my dad's gonna see this you tell him you like your dicks no i'd never met him before i met him that day i think i tried to tell my sister but it kept slipping out so you need to throw those trunks away he also needs to stop getting his willy out he'll be very proud of himself i also don't think i quite got permission to be outing him on this oh god it's a daisy i mean

it's all right whoops a daisy anyway there's another funny story do you want to read it yeah so we asked you guys for something you sent some in okay hey lovely ladies i'm obsessed with the podcast and love listening to you both every week i've got a funny and horrendously embarrassing first date story that happened to myself a couple of years ago i was chatting to a guy for a couple of weeks after matching online he then asked me out for dinner and drinks. I off said yes and he booked a table at a really nice restaurant. Lovely. Anyway, long story short, he was horrendous. Beautiful to look at but was possibly one of the most self-centered and egotistical males I've ever come across. A couple of drinks later and the

start is eaten. In my head I'm thinking I physically cannot stay for three courses speaking to this guy. Anyway, we proceeded to order mains and I say I'm going to the loo. I'm pacing in the toilets thinking to myself, this guy is so horrendous and rude, I need to end this date short. Well, dot, dot, dot. Instead of walking back in and coming up with an excuse and saying I need to leave, I proceed to climb out of the ladies' toilet window. Basically, while falling out the window, my eye, slit slash lid,

catches, oh, oh oh my god on the nail and wait wait wait hold on oh my god am i reading this correctly shizer okay my eye slit slash lid catches on a nail and half of my eyelid is flapping in my face dot dot dot pouring out with blood oh my god oh my god oh my god then clueless of what to do next, I had to walk back in the entrance of the restaurant with blood all down me and cupping my face. Dot, dot, dot. And basically had to explain to my date what had happened and had to ask him to join me.

Oh, my fucking God. Anyway, four stitches in my face. Later, I lived to tell the story and I never saw the guy again. Moral of the story is, don't climb out of the bathroom windows to escape from escape from a bad day oh my god as i was reading that i was like surely i'm not reading this correctly can you imagine that you're freaking i'm sorry

no no no i don't know how you're laughing because i actually am about to throw up how is she not like screaming in pain i almost have to tell you one of this gruesome stories oh my god we've got to do one more that is awful horrendous okay also yes moral of the story you can't climb out of a window to try that's the rachel situation from friends that is or whatever her name is emily from friends my jamie i don't know why i'm like reminiscing all these things but you know jamie's from robert apparently they went on a double date oh no when they were younger and Jane they went to Jack's and Jamie like obviously maybe put him with the ugly one like Jamie oh god she's a lot so pretty and um Jane was like halfway through like four hours in like where the fuck is he and

he climbed out the window she just went home love it quite right there but also like if you stuck me with someone you know I'm like like you dick I'm gonna leave I would be like oh I would just pretend like I literally embarrass myself and be like i've got a really bad stomach oh stop i have to go you wouldn't say you've got a bad stomach you could just say i feel sick you don't have to say i've got the shit would be quite like but it would almost like they would like put them off and they'd be like oh okay go whereas if it's like i feel sick they're like you're faking it at least if you're like i've got a bad time they're like oh please go it's like at school i used to be like i've got period pain yeah yeah and then the males cannot like do anything about it you could

literally pretend you have a period like three times a month and they would not be able to say no to you should i tell you really bad we take advantage of that but we so used to do that swimming oh god yeah i get me out of swimming every single time every swimming was those swimming caps oh oh they used to rip they used to really give me a headache as well because it was so tight the goggles were down oh my god my poor little face is like this the whole time you take them off i had goggle marks for the rest of the day oh my god same i was so imprinted it would be like a cat mark oh no the whole thing was just hell on earth and the toilet like the showers it would be like a cat mark on my forehead then the goggles oh no the whole thing was just hell

on earth and the toilet like the showers it would never fully that cleans I felt like I actually came out more dirty than I went in I've never felt as dirty as I did when I swam in that swimming pool at the out school swimming pool that is disgusting disgusting god we're really spoilt I feel like a lot of girls I want same time. I want to tell you this story because you're going to vomit and I'm just in the mood for you to vomit. Okay, great, thanks.

So somebody, who I know actually, she wrote this story in. I'm not going to read it because it's very, very long but I'll tell you the gist. Okay, fine. So she had thrash.

I don't know whether I should. I've never had thrash. Oh, get over yourself. I want to know, I want to know, like, how bad, does it just kind of feel like a cystitis? I'm not asking whether I've had it if you're not gonna say you have i've

never genuinely had it i've had cystitis loads guys happy to help yeah but cystitis isn't gross right anyway she put a suppository up but do you know what that is like the tablet up your butt no well you get a can but you shove out your vagina and it's like a tablet yeah okay anyway she's she then like meets this bit boy starts having sex with him she's like fuck i just put suppository up she's like she like pushes him off tries to be really sexual she's like bow down she's like i really wanna i'm not gonna say what she said but basically suck your dick and um oh my god i'm actually dying of the fact the suppository's still in her vagina julia's supposed to like do something yeah but it takes a while to dissolve right

not that i've ever had it or anything okay right so she shoves the suppository up then so she's like pins him down like pushes him down like climbs on top of him suckers whatever beep beep beep and she's like thinking in her head oh i'm gonna be able to check if it's still in there she looks in his dick and it's like got all this white stuff and it's like white clumpy stuff and she said she was like i just thought in my mind suck it up it's medicine suck it off. Suck it off. So she sucks it off. And then she vomits all over in her throat. And she's sat there and she's like, no, no.

And then, quote unquote, she said, so I swallowed the sick like a hero. And he asked me on a date the next day. I am flabbergasted. that's what i did like it is literally the worst thing like the thought oh no the combination of the that is like a combination of like seven disgusting things in one story i know i'd rather like someone's cum than a suppository sorry oh my god sorry suppositories like i mean this is really taking is really taking a turn. To put that in your mouth, yeah, I'm not surprised she vomited. Jesus Christ. I know, she swallowed her and said it.

And he never found out. And asked her on a date the next day, because he was obviously... Wow, I'm sorry, good effort for you. That is, you know what? Yeah, because she pinned him down to suck it. He was obviously like, oh, this girl's got boobs. I know, I know. That is a seriously good effort, that is.

I know, right? And the fact that he never knows. Never knew. Oh my God, that is really well done. Sure as hell would still be some residue he'd probably wake up the next day no it probably in her oh god oh my god all right that is a horrendous anyway i think that's enough for the funny stories we should keep up for late for the next week you've got some real juicy ones. Thank you, guys. And we'll go on to the dilemmas. Okay, do you want me to read it out?

Yeah, I might pour myself some more champagne. Go on, then. It's there. I've got a whole bottle. Oh, look, she's chugging away. Guzzler, guzzler over here. It topped me up while straddling whilst I'm reading this out. Okay.

Hello, firstly, I wanted to say how much I love the podcast and I was walking along Oxford Street the other other day literally laughing out loud so sweet so basically the other day i went for a drink with this italian singer guy this becomes relevant from tinder it went really well good chat and everything then a couple of hours after i got back home he sent me a text saying he was writing a song and if it was good enough he would write it for me oh i'm slightly mortified at this point because one one date but i was like ha ha ha thank you right we arranged to get pizza for a second date but he says that first he wants oh my god

first he wants to sing me this song oh no this is horrible this is giving me the echo already. Oh God. Okay. So he turns up to my house with his guitar. Oh my God. No, this is death already. And sits on my bed to sing me the song, but he ends up messing up quite a few times and getting more and more wound up about it and apologizing. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting there like swaying swaying to him singing and his song aha my housemates are dying in the living room and this is the most cringe thing but also like quite ballsy of him so basically by the end of this singing saga i'm really thinking i'm gonna have to end this asap we then get on the bus to go to the pizza place where he keeps apologizing more for for any mistakes while singing the song. That's so awkward.

I'm thinking I'll have to end it after the dinner. But he then tells me that his grandad had died a few days ago in Italy, where his family is from, which is, of course, so sad, and it means I don't say anything. Now he's left his guitar case at my house and needs to come and get it. Do I text him to end things first or wait till he's gone?

Wait until he's at my door. Oh, no, no, no, no. She's going to come get the guitar. Get the guitar. You go bye. Let him go and then you text him. Also, I'll add the song lyrics. He gave me a copy.

Oh, my God. Stop. So you can see this and how intense. Okay, right. We're going to have to read this out. Okay, right. No, sing it, sing it, sing it. It's called My Sweet Little Valentine.

You're fucking joking. Oh, my God. No, it's quite sweet also like the weirdest thing i've ever seen i don't know where this is very blurry i don't know where i'm going but over these rhymes i will sing a song to you and maybe you will read between the lines a message of love my sweet valentine i'm very good rhyming i kind of see it i kind of see you me and you lost in our dream. Would you be my girl tonight? Would you take my hand or shall I just leave?

Oh, my heart is true because, baby, it's you I love. I'll give you all my heart. I'll give all my heart to you because, baby, I want you. No, no, no, we're going to have to stop now because I'm cringing out. I won't know if you want me now, but over these rhymes, I'll sing a song to you and And maybe you will read between the lines. A message of love, my sweet Valentine. Oh, my little Valentine.

That one is shit. The lyrics are changing. Wait, no, no. I feel really nasty. But this is really funny. I'm just going to read the last two verses because it's just killing me. I won't give up. And now, let me love you.

No, I feel a bit mean. Because baby, baby, I love you. Because baby, baby, i need you because baby baby i want you oh my god i feel horrible reading out myself like cringe no i feel like mean on here sorry can we just just let's just put ourselves in this i will literally be like i'm vomiting in my shoe whilst you're singing this just please leave vomiting in my mouth and having to swallow it back down yeah i'm not i'm not gonna actually swallow it back down i'm gonna vomit on you so you leave.

I mean, I really... Okay, right, there's not... There's some... Oh, I don't know. This is just so extreme. Maybe that's what... Maybe that's like what Italian, like, you know, they are as romantic as they feel. He's really trying to serenade you.

They've been on one date. Okay, right, let's just imagine for a minute. You go on a date with a guy. That's the weirdest thing I've... It is actually one of the weirdest things I've ever read in my life. That's the weirdest thing I've ever had in my life. That's the weirdest thing I've ever had in my life. It's the fact that he goes,

I'm going to keep a copy, I'm going to leave you a copy of this song. And the fact that he was getting annoyed with himself, getting the lyrics wrong, that must have just been even worse. Oh my God, I remember once... Imagine him being like, oh, stupid boy.

Idiot. Damn you, stupid boy. Yeah. I am... Oh my God. At uni, I had sexual intercourse with this person. He was a rat. And he, like, came for... You can just say, I had sex. Okay, fine, but I get nervous. Sexual intercourse with this person. He was a rat and he like came.

You can just say I had sex. Okay, fine. But I get nervous. Sexual intercourse. Even worse. Sexual intercourse. Okay, let's move on from that. Anyway, he like came before it sort of ended.

And he sat on the bed and he was like, stupid. I was like, honestly, it's so fine. He was like, oh, God. I was like oh god i was like okay time to leave then anyway back to you know that was really great for me you can go now yeah i was like that was wicked honestly don't beat yourself up about it slash me oh my god poor boy he's very mortified at himself um okay right i don't really know what the okay right the dilemma yeah 100 let him take his stuff and then just text him like i've got to leave the country i don't know no just it doesn't listen to this. Okay right I don't really know what the okay right the dilemma yeah 100% let him take his stuff and then just text him like I've got to leave the country. I don't know

No just don't. It doesn't sound like you can break his heart. It sounds like he's going to turn up with a bloody guitar and like a whole festival of people and sing you a song. I think you just say you just say he sounds like he's such an open book. You'd be an open book back and be like sorry I'm really not I'm wanting a relationship but it was really

lovely to meet you and I'm really sorry about your grandma grandfather um and you block because by the sounds i think he'll pass to you he knows where you live oh my god did he play the guitar from down below no in her room when she was sat on her bed what would you do i i would i don't know i don't know i would fully be speechless i would be like i don't know. I would fully be speechless. I would be like, I don't think, and then I would pretend I've got a really bad stomach. I can't imagine. What's with the diarrhea shit?

I'm not saying diarrhea. I'm saying I've got a bad stomach. Like, in anything, I've got a bad tummy ache. Fine, okay. Just get out of my house. Get out of my house. If you ever see you've got a bad stomach to me,

I'm not going to believe you. I'm going to be like, you want me to leave. I've never done that to you. You have sometimes. I might have actually had a bad stomach. I would never make up an excuse to you. I'd just be like, I don't want to see you if I don't want that to you you have sometimes I would never make up an excuse to you I'd just be like I don't want to see you if I don't want to see you

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Please play responsibly. I'm going to wait aario.ca. Please play responsibly. I'm going to read the second one. Okay. Hey, guys. Absolutely love the pod. Me and my friend are literally obsessed. Can't thank enough for the brilliant advice. So here's the dilemma, a bit of a weird one.

After breaking up with my boyfriend after getting the ick, we've awkwardly avoided each other since. I'm totally over him and this doesn't bother me however he has decided to join a group of guys coming to a party i'm hosting this february that he's barely friends with oh i find it a bit weird he has not just come to me and asked and also believe the only reason he'd be coming would be if i was there seeing as these guys aren't really close with him yeah i don't want to spend the evening having to avoid him i don't want to try and help him help pull me aside have a chat oh hell what do i do any advice melissa this one's for you sorry oh my god okay the ick there's nothing worse than the only person

i ever had an ick with like i never had it like this like after we'd broken up i thought he was really nice like it was only whilst we were together and then you were such that was such a short blip okay such a short little blip yeah two weeks in my life yeah okay fine we can get over two weeks right go on then give us i don't okay if i was you i would basically get the message to him he's not welcome that's what i would do i'm sorry i would not want that person anywhere near in my vicinity the fact that he has the audacity to think that he can come in the first place is actually a bit out of order like i know that my ex would never actually do that no of course he would never dream of it who's he gonna pretend he's fast no but i'm but like imagine if i'm just putting myself in her situation he wouldn't do that so like the fact this guy has

the audacity to do it in the first place but has he like messaged her no he hasn't said a thing to her that's so weird like at least say to me like look come with these mate like these guys is it all right if i come like totally get it if not it's your party i'd message him and be like hey hope you're well i've heard you're coming um i think for both of us it would probably be the best if you didn't yeah um and likewise if you had a party i would respect you and not come into your personal space or whatever you don't make it as deep as that but so agree but i heard you were planning on coming but i think yeah no hard feelings yeah at the moment it's a bit too fresh i don't want either of us to have an awkward evening yeah i don't want i don't want our evenings to be spoiled or to ruin anyone else's atmosphere yeah exactly

that's what i would do yeah i don't think that you're wrong in thinking that you don't want him there god no that's you don't have to be friendly with your exes i'm friendly with a lot of my exes but you don't have to be like how many exes do you have i guess that was a really stupid generic there's one ex i'm friends with i'm not friends with anyone and i'm friendly with the first my first ever boyfriend yeah yeah you are yeah yeah but there's just one that i'm just not friends with or don't speak to at all but like so the others i would be fine with. I wonder who that one is. Hi, girls. Loving your pod so much.

My dilemma is that I'm 25 and I've never been in a relationship. I do like some guys, but it always turns out that they're never interested in me or that once they do show interest in me, I decide I actually don't like them anymore. But mostly it's because the guys I'm attracted to always turn out to be dickheads amen oh and the worst is when they pretend to be nice but they're secretly still dickheads i'm generally a bit worried that i may up alone because everyone around me seems to find it so much easier to get into a relationship then i always also sometimes think i would hate being in one because the thought of just being with one person isn't at all appealing and makes me feel restricted and like they hold me back if that makes sense please help what is going on i don't like the nice guys i only want the ones you don't like me back but then also have a massive fear of being in an actual relationship oh my god okay so the whole okay

how many times in the beginning when i was single i was like every boy rejects me i'm like i love you yeah but any boy that shows interest i'm like I'm exactly the same what is wrong with girls I think every girl is like that it's bizarre but I truly think if you aren't wanting to be in a relationship that then it happens do not worry also you're 25 yeah when I was 25 that's when I I wasn't even with Jamie well no I was that's what freshly got with Jamie but like you've got to bear in mind I'm pretty young to be in such a serious relationship

yeah way too young oh stop I've got a ring on it now way too young so I think you should give it to me but no like there are so many of my friends I'm 27 and you know a lot of my friends are 28. And none of them are in a serious relationship.

I know loads of people. None of them are in a relationship at all. I also feel like we're going to go through these waves of, like, stages. So, like, suddenly around me now people are starting to get engaged. That are a bit older than me. So, I'm 25. And I'm like, oh, no way am I going to be ready for that. Yeah, no way. But then there's going to be the wave of people getting married But then there's going to be the wave of people getting married.

Then there's going to be the wave of people getting divorced and then starting again in their late 30s. Sorry, no fucking thank you. I don't want any of that negative atmosphere. But I'm just saying there's so many different levels and waves and there's no time limit on it. And then there's some people that get married for the first time when they're like 40.

Do you know what I mean? They're not often the happiest. I think that as a society we have this blueprint or like there's no expectation of when when we should be with people when we shouldn't fast so you said that in terms of like wanting worrying about the timeline literally just don't because it's honestly nonsense also being alone is quite nice oh my god it's so stunning and you sound like you actually like being alone which quite nice oh my god it's so stunning and you sound like you actually like being alone which is epic and you think that people could potentially hold you back but yeah i don't want you to have that outset on things because that could stop you from finding

someone you know when you're like worried you're almost you've just got to go with a relationship have so much pressure on it and yourself i feel like as soon as you just let go and i like enjoy it for what it is things happen that you almost are like oh wow wasn't in terms of the boys being a dick oh it's just part of life no i just think air them i just i'm sorry i know this is a problem you want to go for a couple couple dickheads though yeah but you can tell them make them fall in love with you you just air them just ignore them be a dick bad be a leaf but don't literally give them fuck all yeah and they will come but then there is sometimes that there's that there's those situations where you're like you just have to be like okay fine they're just not that into me and then you just leave it and you just accept it yeah i mean if and then by the sounds of it

whoever does show interest in you you're then like oh i actually don't like you anymore anyway yeah and then you get grossed out exactly so that might happen it's a weird like psychological yeah it's almost like we've got the brain of we shouldn't really say this but you know how you imagine boys like boys are quite like that they like the chase and then you get them and then yeah and then you do they don't want you know you want the chase you're like yeah i really like you yeah i just think there's no like specific timeline or pressure like everyone's going at their own pace and like people get together and pursue serious relationships like at so many different times of their life some people are single until they're like 35 40 and then they get married or

whatever totally a nice and also nowadays like 25 is like oh my god don't like you're so yeah like you're a child oh yeah 25 is literally like you're a child. Like, you almost, you know, but it's almost like you don't, if most people who are, like, 25 and they meet someone, they're often like, oh, I wish I'd met you in later years. Yeah, yeah, in later life. So kind of don't worry about it because if you did find someone now, you'd probably end up, you know, getting engaged.

Fuck. No, no, no no it's so different for everybody she's about to say you can't end up getting engaged like 27 and then it doesn't work out you're literally like saying you're alive no no but i know what you're saying like my parents didn't meet they were 36 34 yeah 33 34 35 and they like they they weren't like worried or like my mum honestly was like i wasn't worried whatsoever about the fact that i hadn't met anyone really didn't care and she had a baby no you were fast don't look at me like that because do you know do i have any other siblings but you do have

an older sibling like for a split second my sister from my dad's like yeah yeah not my mum's so yeah my mum just wasn't worried just didn't care about it but then like there is obviously i think there's a pressure on girls, right? That when you're like getting past 25, people are like, uh-oh, like why do I have to find a boyfriend? But again, like you, I think it's a stage. I think if people are getting engaged, you suddenly have that fear and then it dies down. You're like, oh, I'm so sweet. Yeah, whatever.

Also like, sorry, I'm plugging Roxy Nafizi's book, but like read Manifestation book. They are so true. And your vibrations you attract so if you're feeling on a high vibration like you're only gonna attract the right things into your life and if you're wait wait tell me more about this i'm fascinated oh my god she's amazing we should actually get her on this podcast sack of private parts i get her on this she's amazing and like bella d has been caught reading her book it's just so cool okay can you tell me so so basically everything in the universe happens with like for a reason for vibrations okay and if you're on a high

vibration you're going to attract high vibration things so good positive things everything you want if you're negative and you know it goes much deeper into this and there are so many like intricate details and stuff but if you're essentially on a negative vibration you know you're waking up and you're in a bad mood or it's cloudy or it's great you feel fat you feel ugly you're gonna stop your toe you're gonna miss your bus you're gonna be late to your class you're gonna miss a call because you're attracting it basically like attract like so you've got to be positive yeah I think when I was single like how positive was I about myself and like my life and everything and I was just like oh my god like this is the best thing like this is it felt like a whole

new universe yeah it did and I was just like so I think that's what you have to be like you have to almost just be like not worry about anything and trust your process and be like trust the process just trust the process and not worry about it and just be like oh other asshole let's just yeah so ultimately it is what it is let's move on like you can't like yeah ultimately our advice is trust the process trust the process oh god i love that saying you know when you get that on the necklace you know or a little tattoo maybe oh my god hashtag sorry dad sorry should we get a tattoo trust the process i know i've literally and we could do that you guys have no idea how much my dad he would hate me with a tattoo. So would I.

He would just be so upset. I can't do it because I'm getting married because I've never pitched myself walking down the aisle. But you're not going to be naked when you're getting married. Yeah, but where am I going to get it? In my vagina? On your ribs, maybe? No, I don't want it on my ribs. That's so obvious.

When you're pregnant, will that look nice? High rib? High rib? No, I'm sorry. Oh my God, you're right. It would stretch out. Yeah, it's not... And it's just like unpleasant.

Where would you get it then? I'd get it on the wrist. Guys, can we just... We've all witnessed this. Yeah, it's not fun. It's just like unpleasant. Where would you get it then? I'd get it on the wrist. Guys, can we just even witness this? Did you see the aggression from Sophie then at me? Ugh, on your wrist. This is what I get on a daily basis. Oh, sorry. The abuse, just relentless.

The abuse for me is relentless. Right. Oh, God. Okay, I'm absolutely having to stop this now. To be fair, this is going down swimmingly we need to now do a marriage update you're not married yet hun slow down yeah wedding planning update no have i been a bride or a brisilla i've done it been the biggest brisilla yeah no no i have have you okay i got those movies basically like i came on two weeks late on my period just to full disclosure so i think i might be starting to do that

um i've literally been just a raging bitch to everyone not even just to jamie like to everyone my sister my mom there was there was a thing there was like a day when i was like oh god sophie was a bit snappy at me today and i was like she's also in a foul mood no not me yeah yeah i was like i just know when you're in a bad mood and i just like i just because i know you so well like the moment i see i'm a bad mood today let's just accept oh when we went to the gym that day no you were actually really good form when we went to the gym oh god bless me but when we did when we did pod before the where was it i can't remember yeah the last week's pod i could tell when i saw you before i was like she's not in her where did i meet you before we didn't we met here now i've got the

wedding plan i'm literally like yeah wait get me some champagne wait before i was like honestly my jaw was so tight from just clenching now i was like air show come on um guys also just speaking of air show me and sophie went and had our lips lasered so such a weird sensation and my teeth i think alive i'm not sure did there any papers oh oopsie daisy it was quite fun though like i really enjoyed that whole process like getting my lips lasered i felt like i was really gonna be transformed when i walked out and because our nips were lips were numb because our lips were really numb i felt like my lips were enormous did you oh my god all day

no i couldn't move my mouth when i was talking to you i was like same same same and i tried to purse my lips and i was like just can't do it i was pursing but obviously i couldn't feel i was passing i like turned out to my friend she gave she asked me to advise me it was so magical and i was like i'm so sorry about my lips she was like they're fine yeah they felt they they look the same they felt absolutely gigantic right can we ask you about your single diaries you're not so single diaries okay you're not so single diaries

there isn't that much that's actually changed since last week apart from the fact that have you left fate down there oh no no no but I'm going to

he's going away tomorrow for how long just over a week I won't see him for sorry sorry sorry so tonight when we're having dinner

you're not going to go you you're going to go about it? No. You don't? I'll get up at three in the morning, mate. I'm not. Come on, I'll get back. I remember when I was first dating this boy and I was like, God, I can't see him twice in a row. And Sophie was like, what? She was like, when I first got together with Jamie, we used to see each other every night. And I was like, oh my God.

Yeah, yeah. I was really holding back just because I don't want to seem too like keen or anything still that's so sweet still is such a barrier i gave the drinks with him tonight guys i'm so excited i'll fill you in what happens next week oh yeah that's quite sweet we'll save it that little segment next week okay yes he's going away so as soon as he's back i'll say when we when we went to um have our little facials at um the clinic i picked up did you notice i bought two you actually bought them for me because i didn't have my car i got the bill through on my net west i was like what the fuck because i was like what she's a lot because i did double the amounts i'm gonna leave the other double at his house

for fuck's sake i thought you bought it for like i thought you literally just bought so much no so that was the next step in the relationship i've taken it i've taken on the next stage i'm gonna buy myself oh he's buying myself an electric toothbrush it's probably a bit much isn't it no not really just steal his bug it is a bit much the electric toothbrush yeah maybe just get yourself another one like oh there's one already there he bought me one sweet sweet boy i do this i twizzle it all the time and then i make a knot and then i'm like fuck i've got literally a mat in my hair do you not notice me doing that all the time ever ever i think it's the thing you do when you drink i've never maybe right we've got to do the 10 out of 10 on the champagne absolutely stunning

the maze i well do champagne every single week should we do like we're gonna do like a little tasting so this is a really good idea let's see if i had go on tell it's a good idea we're gonna do champagne tasting because i'm having weddings we've got to have champagne there to decide which one and yeah so sophie asked for your suggestions on the instagram like yeah so if you've got any like bang cheap ones to be honest i wouldn't know what nice champagne a lot of people have recommended the same one it's called um ghost something like that not go no no okay i'm making that up on the spot you know when you just panic lie yeah okay but it was like it was like it was an english sparkling wine it wasn't actually

a champagne gosh you won't shut up about this english sparkling sorry i'm really passionate about it the next ambassador for the English Sparkling Wine. I've told you this before, though. They taste tested it. Nightimber. That's what it is. If you want to sponsor us, Nightimber, go for it. Nightimber.

Should we try that next week? Yes, we're going to try a few and compare them. And we've got some special guests, hopefully, next week as well. Is it next week or the week after? It's the week after. So hold your horses for... No, we'll talk about that next week. Yeah.

We need to go now. Bye, everyone. Bye, guys. Love you. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute

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launched a premium version of Wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio