Wednesdays - Ep 44: Sliding into the DM's...

Episode Date: February 16, 2022

We're back and flying through the dilemmas! Today we are wrestling with the conundrum of tagging along to a boys night and giving our best tips on asking someone out with Beyonce levels of confidence. This week we drank: https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/Product/châteauneuf-du-pape-les-courlandes-75clSophie Rating: 6Melissa Rating: 6 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fandu Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario.

Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Hey team. Hey guys. Welcome back. Welcome back to Wednesday's We Don't Mind.

We are having a double whammy of podcasts today. We've just done a very snazzy podcast with our boyfriends oh my god saying that word is weird with your boyfriend you still you surely have gone over the boyfriend no i just want it's like word vomit to say the boy i'm dating like the boyfriend thing is quite like with my boyfriend yeah you guys are so comfortable with each other like it's not like i would say you're definitely past like that first i guess when you become saying it out loud like with him i'm fine but saying out loud to other people is like oh wow well you had a boyfriend for four whole years you must be used to saying about my boyfriend i don't know it's not very different

oopsie doosie we are drinking something called do you want to pronounce this oh don't make me pronounce Chateauneuf du Papé Grand Reservé lovely accent there Chateauneuf Chateauneuf I reckon it's Chateauneuf du Papé Grand

Reservé why is red wine a little bit more expensive than white why is that I'm not sure why red it's not necessarily that's is it not no i always thought white was just like a bit cheaper so maybe it's just because i always go for the cheap wine yeah white's easier to get cheap wait no no that's not true because like a cheap white is like a serve which i hate i hate semi-alcohol we both do although i have to know pinot's cheap yeah pinot's cheap. I think it's easier.

Nah, I think we're chatting about this. I think it's because we buy white wine more. We don't buy red wine as much. We just don't know as much. Yeah. You know what? I have been drinking a lot. I'm fully obsessed with what we had in the podcast, that jam shed.

Have you? I have honestly fallen in love with it. And I compared it to a coffee. I haven't tried a chocolate bar. I've never tried it. Can you try a chocolate bar? We need to try that next week. Emily always drinks that

she loves it we need to try but i i compared um apothic and jam shed and jam shed's better jam shed was literally the tastiest i'm really you know when are you drinking at home yeah me and toby have had it a couple times me and my sister and toby have had it it's lovely it's freaking delicious phenomenal guys also it makes you sideways i don't know why that happened to us because the last time i drank it didn't be that i think you just come out of a breakup and maybe you're running on a bit of adrenaline adrenaline not eating enough didn't realize i was actually hungry and just like yeah yeah yeah yeah myself a little bit no car you gotta have some cars before you dig into a bit of wine otherwise it's just i mean

not a good idea not a good idea this is actually quite a nice wine but it's it's it's i don't know it's not ticking my fancy as much as the old jam it's not as rich and like flavorsome as the other this one's like just an easy pairing you could have it with some food and like it's an easy drink whereas the jam shed's more of a treat i could literally just have that by itself yeah yeah it's more like a dessert yeah yeah yeah it's lovely lovely stunning okay okay we also finally put this poll up we had a little brief discussion about if you should delete all pictures on your instagram um if you're x and we asked you guys and 64 4 of you said yes 36 said no god i was like with the 36 well i was like i think it just so depends right like how the

relationship ended like it's so depends right like how the relationship ended like it's so dependent well we actually got some like really interesting replies so i'm gonna read a couple of them lol yes but when i'm in this position now don't want to be petty but equally don't want new guys to see the pictures and get the wrong idea totally get you you don't want to cock block yourself i had the same thing i deleted the recent ones yeah and then if you scroll down but then at least because it's quite good because you want to always see if someone's had a relationship yeah sometimes people you know whatever um someone else said wouldn't want to see his face more than i need to erase all memories of poss and i can pretend it to happen that sounds like yeah that kind of sounds like me

don't blame you go for it go for it go for it provided they weren't totally vile to you no unless you're hardly post hardly posting it still at the top of your grid give the people who stalk you something interesting look at yeah i so agree and i i wasn't i wasn't treated badly in my relationship at all and it wasn't a toxic relationship and i was like oh quite sweet pics of us like quite a nice mem gonna leave that there but then the recent ones in the grid we've got to go because we don't want to cop blog ourselves yeah so damn right i think so for someone else said i think so for the most part but they're no harm in the old nice memory or if it's a group shot but say if you're moving on a

bit weird to have loads of couple shots yeah i agree especially with the family the couple's family family oh god no we can't be having that no um i don't necessarily think you should it depends on whether you're comfortable with them being on there or whether your next partner is comfortable with them being on there personally would rather get rid asap and went for overly comfortable with my new boyfriend her pictures still however my best friend is still completely different still has her past three relationships on her instagram but then so does her new boyfriend so each her own but i prefer to take out the trash oh my god you guys are so funny and also so wise sorry our listeners are so diplomatic and wise guys your instagram i love this one your instagram is your history not a

snapshot of your present day that is true very very true i always deleted them but my friend used to archive them that i've done i've archived a couple then deleted them later like am i ready to fully delete these yeah no yeah yeah you've got that way if after a year or so past the pictures come back onto our page without affecting our attempts to move on in the meantime that's a really good idea actually yeah but why by that point i'm done i'm like moved on yeah we've got some more funny stories melissa oh we do we've got a lot to talk about today there's a big old there's me and safe you need to debrief about the podcast we've just done as well yeah we really quite fun okay right so this story was told to me last week at

dinner and i was like oh perfect perfect for the podcast so this boy was out on a date i think like a hinge date or something um this really lovely girl they got on really well ended up starting to go back to his had some more drinks at his obviously things led to the bedroom and they started having sex yeah both quite drunk actually really quite drunk and doing doggy yeah it's really graphic and um obviously having a whale of a time and she turns to him and she just goes i want you to spank me and i want you to slap me spank me and he was like all right then so drunk just leans forward and smacks her right in the face so hard what the fuck and then after he's done it he's like and then she just stops like like the whole mood was

just like killed and he was like i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry don't know how they managed to recover from it carried on having sex and they're going on a second date sorry sorry if someone slapped me in the face also why would you ever think that that's what she was asking yeah that's almost weirded me out it's like he like you have this inner like desire to actually smack her smack her in the face what's that i know do you know the boy or the girl i know the boy no i'm not friends with him he's a friend of a friend but but I went to school with him. I know who he is, yeah. Unacceptable from him. He needs to...

Terrible, terrible baby. Terrible business. I know. Like, people do like that, though. Like... No, but that's really not what she was asking for. She just wanted, like, a cute little spank on the butt,

and then he slapped her in the face. to be, like, first date. You know, spank me. That is quite rogue. I rate the, um, you know... Yeah, but, I mean... She backs herself. I mean, she obviously can't... She's probably going to be gonna be scarred she's probably not gonna ask that question again like that is actually and also like spank me it's not like hit me in the face it's like

everyone knows i'm just trying to imagine like that happening to me i would literally be like get the fuck out yeah i would literally i would just leave i'd be like this you've killed the whole vibe i bet you probably really hurt my nose you've given me a fat lip it's like her nose being broken bling blood or like my i have that lip that's what would happen unacceptable to him like i know i know that is horrendously but it's also embarrassing for her because then he would be embarrassed like the whole thing would just be like so awkward oh my god do you know what i mean oh my god i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't no neither okay right i have a red wedding this is another funny story guys i have a wedding related story

which i think i mean you've got to enjoy it or you'll hate it so my friend was at her brother's wedding she got absolutely smashed and at the end of the night was back in the hotel room with her boyfriend and they started having sex after a minute she was like oh fuck i forgot i'm actually on my period oh no and put a tampon in this morning so she stopped the sex but her boyfriend and they started having sex after a minute she was like oh fuck i forgot i'm actually on my period oh no and put a tampon in this morning so she stopped the sex but her boyfriend was like um i don't think there's a tampon in her so she started freaking out because she thought it was lost and was worried about toxic shock oh god oh god oh god so she had her boyfriend look inside her vagina oh my god he couldn't see it so they called through my friend's mom who also had looked for it what the hell this is wild this is mad the mom couldn't see it so they called through my friend's brother and his

wife who were doctors thankfully the brother was like that there is no way i'm looking for it and the new wife convinced them there was nowhere it could go up there she must have taken it out early and forgotten she woke up in the morning with a vague recollection of her mom and her boyfriend rummaging around her vagina or her brother and her new wife well her brother and his new wife was present and i think she wanted to die a little bit i'm absolutely done that is like actually the worst thing i've ever heard that is the worst thing i've ever heard being like i'll spread my legs but also like probably pranging out like i've got a tampon lost in my body and i'm going to die before i've done that exact same thing my friends had it

before where she's taken her tampon out and then gone to put another one in and she's like that's weird and then another one came out yeah so they obviously put two in the applicator like somehow yeah i know and she got really upset because she was like i could have left that in my body so dangerous so scary i've done that exact thing with sex in a time when it's really unexpected oh my god could you feel i know i obviously never had one in there but i probably did what she did i was like it's in there I didn't actually make anyone look though no no no I think I went to the doctors

the next day and was like there is one in me and they were like no there isn't I'm afraid you could find it yourself no but I was like it's gone up there

so I was convinced I was like I know I didn't take one out like I know but I must have just drunken me down there oh so we we obviously put tampons in and out

so much as girls that it's kind of like it's like second nature yeah yeah when was the last time I didn't remember like it all just I know blurs into one memory drunkenly down there. Also, we obviously put tampons in and out so much as girls that it's kind of like... It's like second nature, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When was the last time I didn't remember? Like, it all just blurs into one memory. I know. We're really getting graphic this time.

Sorry, we really are. We got some dilemmas. We do, we do, we do. Okay. Hey, girls. Love the podcast and wine recommendations. Have also started saying stunning so much. Honestly, so many people say it now. It's so horrendous even jb says it he goes stunned stunned did you not see him put it on

his instagram story it's like stunned that's the one you sent to me like i don't think you were sending it to me for that reason it was because he wasn't wearing a helmet and you were freaking out but i thought it was you were sending it to me because he was like stunned I was like telling him to wear a helmet I have a bit of a different dilemma for you girls today I've recently come out of a three-year relationship with the perfect guy oh he was my best friend but unfortunately we outgrew each other and fell out of love that does happen I've been loving being single spending time with friends etc and I'm now starting to want to get back out there and date again but i'm really lacking in confidence i really really struggle with body image and it's affected my mental health

a lot because i don't have a flat stomach oh my god don't be silly it caused a huge issue in my my last relationship too i don't want anything serious at the moment just a casual hookup situation but get so anxious about something about someone seeing me naked any advice or help would be appreciated please keep it on oh my god i'm really sorry that you feel this way that's just not fun at all and unfortunately i feel like so many like well not just girls girls and boys feel this this have such bad i mean we always do i think boys definitely have it just as much but i think girls actually talk about it more yeah and girls like say like me and sophie always get insecure with each other and we always like talk to each other out of it and like look to each other for support but like

i think you've just gotta as you say love yourself a bit more yeah like it's it's easier said than done so like i would speak to your friends and you know just be open about it don't ever keep any emotions or insecurities or things that are getting you down to yourself and secondly it's easier said than done to be like oh just learn to love yourself so a good pointer and thing to start and something that everybody could do every get into a routine of every time you wake up with your breakfast with your morning coffee with your tea whatever you do first thing you do is write five things you're grateful for about yourself and five things that you like about yourself love about yourself and like that

could be like you love you're grateful for the fact you can see through your eyes you're grateful for the fact that you're you can walk with your legs you're grateful for the fact that you you like you know and also things that you just like about yourself like things i love my hair yeah or like i like that i'm chatty it doesn't always have to be about the way you look yeah like i like that i i'm kind i think i'm a loyal person and just make it a routine and it might seem foreign at the beginning but you just persevere and i think it takes like 28 days stick with it for like a month and make sure you do that every day for a month and then hopefully it'll become second nature and you'll start to believe it yourself

good bit of advice that I always find that really hard to give advice on stuff like that because I'm like I know that when I'm feeling insecure like it's just it's just it's just in my brain and it's just there but then it does go like when i for me talking to my friends is like the best thing and then i do just get over it but like it honestly happens to everybody and i also think just life's too short for you to let it get the better of you yeah so you've got to really try and push through with the positive thoughts yeah you really do and like when you get those niggling horrible voice in your head saying my stomach's not flower whatever gotta just realize that that's not like the true narrative and it's no one else it's not true like it's just a horrible thought in your head that isn't real it's not true and you've got to overcome

it with some positive thinking because otherwise you it will just that voice will grow get more and more power over you i agree anyway i hope that helps i'm sorry you're feeling that way but you're not alone right should i read the next one um i have a question for you both what sort of rules exceptions fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m with your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do.

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Research and supply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Do you have for your partner when they go on a boys' night? Is it too much to ask that they message check-in with you every now and then? Is it a red flag if they don't message at all? Just curious. In my boyfriend's friendship group,

there is one girlfriend in particular that always tags onto boys night despite my boyfriend telling me girlfriends aren't loved would you just let it go yeah i wouldn't want to be that girl i wouldn't want to be there i don't think he has a boys night i'm like oh get out of the house yeah i don't think that you you should expect to be messaged at all no i don't on a girl's night i'm not going to message i i to be fair i just would because like i like speaking to him and i'd probably send him like a picture of my food like oh i'm in this or something like that but then i get so drunk i actually put my phone away and leave it in my bag because i lose it for one all the time leave my phone in taxis literally like whenever i go out

it's terrible business do you how do you happen twice i don't know the time i've just been very lucky it happened twice in one weekend melissa i know and i got it back twice you are so lucky so whenever i whenever i take my phone out or i'll pop a story that i don't like and i'm like why did i do that that was so stupid i was too drunk yeah i just keep my phone away until i'm going home yeah i do the same and then i'd probably message like oh my we're back home now but like that's not because i guess i would want him to check in with me or i want to check in with him it's just because i want to tell him everything yeah like right yeah it's exactly that i wouldn't feel that a boy but don't feel like he's oh i don't think there should be a rule there shouldn't be a rule just go with how you feel

and i i wouldn't want him to check in every now and again like let him have a boy for a reason exactly you want them to spend time with them like you wouldn't want him on a date with you to be texting his mate group boy chat the whole time dating them like every now and then i think there's no rule because you want people to be present in the middle i agree i agree okay right this is dilemma three little dilemma for you i've been speaking to this guy on and off for six months before christmas i found out oh my god before christmas i found out he had a girlfriend so called it off recently they broke up which which his friends say were because of me and how he felt oh okay and now we're back in contact but he will ignore texts for a couple

days then re-message me like normal. Don't like the sound of this. When I pull him up on it, he says he's been super busy. I do believe that him and the girlfriend have broken up, but this seems super shady, right? We get along really well, but one minute he's so interested in pursuing me and the next he's disappeared.

It's bizarre. Nah, sack him off. Yeah, yeah. He's having his cake and eating it. He's still in contact with the ex-girlfriend. He's trying to figure out if he's made the right decision. And then she probably has an argument with him, s sack him off yeah yeah he's having his cake and eating it he's still in contact with the ex-girlfriend he's trying to figure out if he's made the right decision and then she probably has an argument with him sacks him off and he goes back to you so you're normal and it's like playing yeah yeah yeah yeah get yourself out of there right now

get yourself out flying about left right center i'm done with him same dead to me i don't know that it's true that's not normal to just air someone for three days and then suddenly be full-on pursuing you like obsessive and so all he wants to shag at the weekend sorry but that's probably it like or like when he's a bit drunk just not good vibes we don't like him he's messing you around sack him off no yeah you deserve so much better you deserve so much rather just when you say when we say sack him off it's easier said than done but like you really just but you really really really do yeah you really really do you really have to think you have to always pay also he sounds like trust me when you sack him off he'll fancy you so

much more which is going to be hard because then he'll come crawling back because he'll want the chase i think that you're giving it to him too easy that's my honest opinion i do agree i think you always have to put yourself in a position of somebody else so you have to think okay right what if that was my best friend or my little sister or my cousin or whoever in that position what advice would you give them yeah and you'd be like get out now get out now get out now right next dilemma so this is our fourth and final dilemma guys last october i went to a friend in london and had such a good time with his flatmate nothing happened but we spent the whole evening together

and he kept making jokes about liking me then in December I was back in London and again the same thing happened when we were separated from ourselves from the group

just so we could speak the two of us for hours and long story short ended up sleeping together oh I like this get a dispersive I felt so comfortable

around him it wasn't awkward at all just really fun i was leaving the next day and haven't spoken over texts or anything since i've since found out that through these mutual friends like he doesn't sleep around much and that only makes me like him more oh i'm going back to london in two weeks and will likely see my friend one of the nights i'm there my question is should i try and meet up with the guy i like and if so how just shoot my shot and text him when i'm in london or text in advance or wait up until i meet up with my friend and hope he brings his flatmate along or put something up on instagram to show that i'm in london maybe he

applies for it should it always be the guy to pursue the girl or since we don't cross paths and should i just go for it and and then i know thank you so much for opinions oh my god i love this i would shoot a shot yeah I would fucking do it I would do it I would just be like uh

back in London yeah back in London surely we go for a drink surely we do surely it's about time oh my god

I would go for it sounds like you like to have that like good vibes coming through yeah and also like don't make it like be like it's

not that deep be like I just thought we grew on great like had a lovely time when am I doing that again don't even justify it no I know but like don't make it into a like it's not that deep you're like i just thought we'd go on great like had a lovely time when i'm doing that i don't even justify it no i know but like don't make it into a big thing like oh would it be okay do you think if we met up and went just

be like oh in london fancy a drink yeah literally in coming to london sweet date fancy a drink sweet he's gonna literally he will just be so excited oh my god this kind of makes me like we want an update from that please yeah we need a follow up on what you're gonna do i think that could be a love story in the making yeah it really sounds like love at first sight doesn't it it's the same thing this is like giving me like single like when i was in the single diary it was like all these exciting like does he like me yeah yeah i need to sound that in my life now oh you're never gonna get that again now oh what is this whole thing like you ever because she's a bride or a bridezilla

what are we this week honey okay guys have i been a bride or bridezilla this week look i'm not gonna lie it's been a bit hit and miss it's been a bit bridezilla it's been a bit of bride it's been all sorts flying everything i mean a bit of whatever um i did throw my ring at jamie at one point just because god the drama the drama you're getting out of control and i was like this is really unacceptable like i'm the bride and i don't want to have to speak to 200 plus people i'm the bride and it's my day my day it's not yours i so agree and he was like well we're not gonna have a 200 wedding then what's the point getting married and i was like and as

he said it he like he went why did i yeah he obviously was like no no i didn't say that i didn't say that and i was like you did he's like i didn't mean that it's not what i meant you're like you answer i was like oh no oh it said it i got really worried that i damaged the diamond that i had it did you know diamonds are the hardest element in the world i know apparently you have to cut a diamond with a diamond you cannot cut anything else you could the stone could flip out of the session it could come out but it won't it's so that that won't all right legend and then i was a bride because then she cried because the ring was on the floor like i've chipped the ring i always hate myself on the floor this is just i paint myself as a real no she's really not but we're just giving the juicy juicy inside bits the juicy juicy gossip

and then i was a bit of a bride because jamie went oh i mean this may sound like a bridezilla again but i was like i'm so tired i don't think i actually felt really ill we meant to go to what listen to the band with actually a really good friend alr who are amazing they're doing our wedding music and i felt really not very well and you know we're kicking about and everything i know you're like what is it i actually said it to melissa i was like melissa i think i'm gonna have to go and it was so gonna be such nice evening it was at annabelle's oh yeah i know i know but he had such a lovely time you were so exhausted i'm gonna see them soon and i trust i mean you trust his judgment and i trust like them yeah you know the music

yeah totally but i was a lovely bride that night because jane got in it too and i was like hello do you need anything do you take away a cup of tea yeah i made him a tea in the morning so that's a bit bright now it's kind of like shook no it's good we've gone too far with the tea you're not getting anything else yeah nothing else all right tell me about you not so all right okay so not so single dory's just gonna be how great taby is he was just on the podcast and he's really funny he was so great i fucking love him also why is he so tanned it really upsets me he's come back from barbados yeah but it's because he's just been skiing surely i came back from barbados in november oh yeah and he's just but he's a boy he gets his face in the sun doesn't wear any sun cream yes silly silly silly silly i

was like that sun damage was gonna catch up with you i know but boys look good with wrinkles it's so i know it really is unfair although i'm kind of like thinking girls do too now yeah i would prefer not to damage my face with the sun though always that fact 50 lather me up i'm gonna rate that wine a six i'm gonna do the same i wasn't like yeah nothing jam said i'm actually gonna get we're gonna rewrite it chocolate block next okay i'm gonna rewrite jamshed as well as a nine i don't know what we originally raced it i think i'm taking it to another level i although having said that i do think look i do think it is really nice it's probably because we're i think it's that time in the day when we want a little bit of a pick me up and you want something a bit sweet yeah if i was eating a meal this is actually really nice and it's really it's quite a dry

like it's just a really good wine it's a banging wine it's just not like a sweet tree can it's not we're doing this at four and i kind of need like my my just not like a sweet we can it's not we're doing this at four and i kind of need like my my sugar we need a sugar pick me up we do we do we do okay we love you guys love you bye hey you're a canadian podcast listener and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out. Complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards.

That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version

of wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio