Wednesdays - Ep 46: My bf still has dating apps downloaded!

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

Hi team! Today deleting dating apps, toxic friendships and wedding invites are on the menu. Plus a very exciting wedding update from the bride to be!We are sending all our love to the people of Ukraine. Here is a list of some charities doing vital work that need your donations:People in Need: SOS UkraineUN Crisis Relief: Ukrainian Humanitarian Fund Ukraine Crisis Appeal Save The ChildrenInternational Medical Corps CARE International. Unicef Ukraine.Sunflower of PeaceBritish Red CrossFor more ideas on other ways that you can help see here.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connects ontario.ca please play responsibly hello little melissa hey guys oh hello little baby hello guys we we've had a bit of a dilemma today We actually were heading into the studio to record with a very exciting guest. I know, it would have been really good. So fun, but we are going to do that episode. But the two strike, I mean, it's been a shit show. Got the better of us, didn't it? It was just really bad.

I left the house at 7.15 and stood in the rain waiting for a bus. Then six buses passed me and wouldn't let me on. I was like, this is awful. Then I started trying to walk and I was like this is awful then I started trying to walk and I was like I must see a black man no taxis every and then I scheduled a taxi take me cancelled five minutes before I was like right well I've got my whole day yeah so we were both meant to go for a facial and then we had some other work bits to do and we were going to do some stuff together I'm not sure the facials yeah powerful. Yeah, I had to, no, I had to take pictures of you.

No, yeah, but not the facials, not other work. That's not work. No, but we had other work to do other than the podcast. And the podcast. Oh, right, got it, got it, got it. We were meant to do like a lot of like stuff this afternoon and we were going to vlog for you guys. It's all been cancelled.

Also, we just wanted to touch on obviously everything that's going on in the world right now and yeah you know it's just devastating and you know we're going to leave some resources for you guys we hope that you'll donate or do everything you can to help um everything going on in ukraine so we're going to leave some resources for you guys and our thoughts and prayers are with everybody yeah um hopefully this will be a little light-hearted relief from everything going on in the news today um yes we do have some like topical stuff that we wanted to talk i really need to watch this video

i actually feel this is going to be really interesting for you vanessa because you've not watched any of it so actually so firstly firstly I have to talk about the call me daddy podcast interview with Julia Fox you've not watched that she's like Kanye's ex-girlfriend and she is no sorry I know some people might love her but I think what does she do who is she was a dominatrix and like so vacant and like she's like yeah like and i'm like sorry to be i'm being really outspoken but she like you're passionate about this she tried heroin like back in the day fair enough whatever you've moved on but then she's like yeah i'm like smoking with you like i'm high before this podcast she's like yeah like and she's encouraging terrible

behavior she talks about like the dominatrix industry, which is really fascinating. But she talks about it as a... What is the dominatrix industry? So it's basically about men who get turned on, who pay for women to, like, slap them about. And they can't ever have the pussy, quote unquote. Like, they can't ever... Like, they can, like, try and get close to it. She can sit on their face and they can't have the pussy, quote unquote. You know, some people... No, this is a really complex topic of conversation but apparently there's like a tiktok going around like a meme which she basically thinks she's like a yeez muse and like i'm like

babe no he's literally tried to morph you into kim kardashian he's obsessed with kim and she basically said she was like the director of Uncut Gems which obviously made her famous she was like yeah it was like his muse too I'm like no no and no you're not but yeah what the hell is Uncut Gems a movie she's basically riding I mean she's she's in everything now she's probably living her dream and at one point she's like I don't feel girly for this because like I fucking worked hard to be here like you know like whatever I'm probably gonna get so much this is this is just a whole another hole of like information and stuff I just didn't ignore it so I need to go and watch this interview after this fascinated I'm fascinated do you know what I actually kind of rated her because I was like

fair enough she likes Kim's photos like she's she doesn't really give a fuck doesn't give a fuck and then the podcast was so disappointing so I was like you're so boring like she's she doesn't really give a fuck doesn't give a fuck and then the podcast was so disappointing so i was like you're so boring like she didn't give me anything she wasn't interesting i didn't know what she's a bit if she's a bit weird and wonderful like so is kanye so they were probably quite a couple but no i thought she was quite boring she wasn't one weird i was expecting her to like be giving something but she was just basically like she sounds like she was just wanted to be fucking famous that's all she wanted by the sound of it god so you really don't like this girl no i really did it she's personally done something to you oh my god um and then also kim's kim did a vogue um tour of her house and i'm desperate to watch it desperate so i just i

like just love like it's so good. Is the house amazing? The doors are honestly the tallest doors in the whole of town. It's so minimalist. I even love that. Is it the same house? Is it the Bella Air house

or something? Bella Air house. Is it the same one that she had in the Kardashians? Yeah, the same one, like, with nothing in it.

Yeah, Ovi, Ovi can, Ovi can't, Ovi can't, he's like, designed it all, but it is smoking hot.

It's done. I would kill for a house like that. And then Tom Holland and Zendaya in their matching outfits. I just love them. I've started euphoria. Have you? See,

I'm nervous to watch it because all my friends are like, just be careful, like that Sydney, Sydney's tips. It's very dark. Put everyone's body to shame. And I was like,

I don't know if I want to watch how much Amy likes me. No? Not for you? No. No no no apparently like every boyfriend everyone's like if you look at Sydney Sydney every boyfriend's followed her and I'm like barbed um he's not even like the main character it's it's um Zendaya and then Zendaya's a smoke show. And it's, like, weird. Like, she doesn't say a huge amount in it. Who's Sydney? But you really like her.

Or Zendaya? Her name's Rue, the actress, Zendaya. And in it, her name's Rue. But, like, she's, like, a very troubled, like, going through. Like, I'm only on season one. I'm only, like, a couple episodes in. Every episode is, like, an hour long. So you're in for a right treat.

Like, it's a movie every episode. But it is very dark and i'll have to watch it you have to really follow it as well like it's not something that you can just have on and like semi enjoy you have to really concentrate there's a lot that like is taught like goes on and like the storylines like it switches tenses a lot so it suddenly throws back to the and then explains the story of how it got to this point and it's like quite confusing so you have to concentrate okay that is really good i'm a double screener oh really yeah i don't think it's very much so sweeney's boob chair or have you yeah i have yeah oh sorry that's so impressive that's they're just really big oh is that it i think yeah but

they're honestly just huge great they are colossal stunning colossal colossal stunning but yeah and also like the makeup's like really like weird and wonderful this one girl wears just like like losing like face gems all around her eyes and it's like really cool i sometimes get a bit weirded out by like programs that are a bit druggy i know it's it's like it's kind of like a fairy tale and i know it does make you feel a bit like freaked out almost it's a very extremist like this every situation it's like very sexual and like but like weird sexual and i don't like i like it it's trying to show like what like we go through in this day and age with like social media and like pressure of school and like boys and like men and like things and like drugs but it's it's like to

the extreme of every situation it's like no it's not for me i like really fairy tale things i don't like anything that shows me how bleak life is i'm sorry to say that everyone that's not extremely it's not that realistic like with how extreme every single person in this friendship group is my worst type of movie is trainwreck like and that's what i've never seen like when he does heroin like i can't watch programs where people smash drugs and like you see it through their eyes like it gives me such a bad nervous feeling that that good like yeah i just it makes me feel so dark i'm like ah you know i like watching real housewives and desperate housewives and so do i but like this is like i'm enjoying it because it's something deeper that i'm really having to concentrate on rather than it just be like do you know i'm quite invested okay yeah

okay shut up i'll give it i think that you should give it a go but you have to stick with it because after the first episode i was like oh i feel really freaked out and toby was like we need to just have a break from it because it was so intense and it like really like impacts you and like not makes you feel a bit like I get really impacted

and I felt a bit down after watching it that's what I mean it's bleak it doesn't put me in a good mood so I'm like nah scrap that

no but then I pushed through and it was okay no no I can already like if I sometimes things like that can really make me feel sad

it might make you feel sad. I'll give it a go and let you guys know what I think. But it is good. I'm pretty sure everyone listening to this probably watched it, because I swear I'm literally the only person who hasn't watched it. Yeah, we'll put a poll on,

should Sophie start Euphoria. Another thing that I feel like I've really missed out on is Killing Eve. I never watched that either. I started to watch it. I think I stopped and I can't remember why. And Fleabag, everyone tells me i mean i knew that's an oldie but a goldie well it's not that old but anyway um also happy show tuesday

have you eaten oh yeah i haven't but i'm gonna have some later for dinner with toby are you we're not doing it because well jamie's going out tonight i feel a bit lonesome like eating pancakes on my i also had them on sunday yeah like i'm not a massive those those ricotta pancakes from grande joconde were the i think they're on no that was the best thing i've ever had in my life oh i did a full pancake day on saturday i had a savory pancake we all had a savory pancake who's real um so jack and amani um toby so we all each had our own savory pancake but it's like a crepe right that's like huge mild dutch this huge it's almost like a pizza massive massive big crepe and it had

like um it was kind of like a fajita but in a crepe delicious red pepper cheese ham chicken oh my god yum it was really really yum and then for dessert we did um like dutch pancakes like the thicker shorter ones with syrup with maple syrup and bacon fucking hell that is absolutely it was killer delightful heart attack city though yeah yeah yeah so i've done my pancake day but we are going to have them again today what are you going to have save you want some sweet tonight no i think i'm just gonna do the sweet do Do you like, the only pancakes that don't like a lemon and sugar?

Oh, no. Don't talk to me. Lemon and sugar in a crepe, in a homemade crepe when it's still warm. My worst? No.

The lemon. The lemon. No, my worst thing ever. Really? My favourite type of pancakes is sweet and savoury, like bacon and... Bacon and maple syrup.

Yeah. Also, just give me a bit of Nutella and strawberries. Or I love the French one with the sausage in. You know, at the French markets at school. Did you ever go there? I used to always, everyone would get them bacon and maple syrup yeah also just give me a bit of nutella with the sausage in you know at the french markets at school did you ever go there i used to always everyone would like get the nutella ones at school or like on school trips like normally and i would queue up and get a

sausage and everyone would make fun of me and i got quite embarrassed and then i'm finding that i can fall i've always been like a lover of the meat but but I'm a vegan. Well, pesky. Melissa finds it so funny, but it's really not. She secretly loves the meat, but she resists. No, I crave it. I do. I do really crave it. I really do, but. It's weird, isn't it?

It's really weird. I've gone veggie in the week and I don't miss it at all, but I guess that's because I allow myself to just have it if I want it on the weekend. Yeah. So I never actually crave it now. I'm actually like, I don't actually want it in the week. It's weird. Yeah, it's weird.

It is funny how that happens. Your body just gets used to like not having it um also we haven't mentioned that we're not drinking one obviously because we're meant to be in the studio and yeah it's just water today by the way guys sorry about that sorry about that we actually we need to have like three wines to make up for it next week i know we we will we will we will we will actually because we'll have that little guest on okay Okay, also, guys, we had some great responses from last week about situationships. Oh, yes. I'm going to read, I'll read the first one out. I think there needs to be clear boundaries in a situationship.

If you or the other person isn't looking for it to go any further, then that needs to be very clear. Agreed. I personally feel like a situationship for a time is helpful in learning enough about someone so you can decide if you are ready to put labels on it and commit. I personally feel like a situation ship for a time is helpful in learning enough about someone so so you can decide if you are ready to put labels on it and commit it slows things down as I find some people are so quick to move on from dating to being in a relationship but many people use the situation ships have their cake and eat it too yeah very true they aren't ready to address their traumas that are causing commitment issues but they want all the parts of having someone

there if you're in a situation situation that feels more like a secret relationship that's a red flag it is true it is true yeah it's like yeah i feel like a lot of people i know go go through like dating things like that and they're like oh but he does this and this and this and i'm like okay but yeah i'm like yeah but if he's not proud if he's not showing you off and it's a bit like when they the boyfriend doesn't ever show you on the social media it's a bit like yeah red flag that is a big old thing yeah yeah yeah very true right should we move on to some dilemmas then yeah when do you delete the dating app hey girls obsessed with the pod and you both waiting for a new app every week. Please keep it on.

My boyfriend of three weeks, been seeing each other for four months before, just told me he has Tinder still on his phone, but has paused his account. I don't know what to think of this, as he was the one who asked me out first, and seemed more into it than I was. I deleted my account and the app probably a month in I know everyone's different but I don't understand why he would still have the app on his phone I can't think of any reason surely he can make an account again if we break up also that day I told him I loved him and he replied he's falling for me but not there yet I'm totally fine

with his response as I didn't say it wanting the same response back i just couldn't keep keep it to myself anymore am i being too sensitive slash insecure here would love your opinion i don't really know what to do if i need to do anything lol thanks girls p.s i told him i loved him before i found out about the tinder still being on his phone haha uh i don't think you're being insensitive i'd be really bummed out if a boy said that the dating app thing why can't you just delete it and re-add it that's weird that it's just paused

because it's not hard to delete Tinder and re-add it or any dating app is it but to be fair I was on that Raya thing which I never use FYI kids but I was on that thing like honestly two years after mine and Jamie's relationship and I had no

idea i just i just deleted well i'd actually if you delete it your profile would stay there i think it stays and everyone like used to message me like you know your girlfriend's along this i was like i don't know how to delete it but yeah because you'd have to re-download it log in and then i can't remember my password yeah i'm probably still on now lol so i feel like is that that big a deal i'm not sure it's probably his response to i think it's more of a weirdo i think it's more with that he's like oh i paused it like i think that's weirder do you know what i mean rather than just being like oh sorry i didn't even know yeah like i don't i haven't even been on it since we've been him saying i've paused it it's kind of like i've temporarily like yes yeah because like this

is going well but like you know it's it's not gonna last long so i'm just gonna unpause it when yeah that's just a bizarre response also just why would you not say what you want someone to hear and be like oh shit i have paused it but i'm gonna delete it now as you as you mentioned that i completely forgot i had it on my phone yeah it's just so weird just like i would just be like if he still got at you just as surely you'd just be like I don't know why it's still on my phone so I haven't even looked at it it's not even crossed my mind it's just odd and then like why I don't know well obviously brutally honestly he's obviously falling but isn't in love with you yet which you know maybe that is just the truth and maybe he you know you have said it quite soon

but it's like awkward because she said like oh I'm in love with you and he goes I'm falling for you and she's like yeah I'm fine with that response but now I found the tinder thing on his phone it's kind of like uh yeah I know I know yeah because that's just naturally you're obviously going to feel insecure you're going to double think you're going to overthink and think oh maybe but I think that you've probably got to give him the benefit of the doubt yeah and just I don't think it's that big of a deal and hopefully it is hopefully he will but what I don't get is why not after that conversation was he like oh shit yeah I need to delete it rather than no no I've paused it like standing his ground with the fact that he's paused it and he's going to keep the app do you know what I mean yeah I

would just keep an eye on it but I really don't overthink it I would just don't make any rash decisions yeah and don't don't like scare him away by being like I'm really insecure because obviously like we're all human and you know I totally get it I would probably feel insecure myself but have a word with yourself and just give it some time and hopefully he'll say I love you soon yeah so I had them on my phone for a really long time and as you said they were all ports and I kind of forgot that I had them and I think that I deleted them oh no I think I might still have one on my phone no no I don't okay I remember I I paused that Raya one ages ago and I didn't pause it what is that I didn't delete it so I just because with Raya right you have to be accepted into it or something so once you delete it it's gone and because I was

like oh I don't like this and I paused it I was like oh if I ever want to go back on it or turn it on I just can but then I forgot that I had it I forgot that I had it on my phone but like I know that Toby had a dating app on his phone and I don't I think he said to me like oh remove the dating app I think he like made a joke about it this is before that we were boyfriend and girlfriend yeah and it wasn't like a big conversation I wouldn't have cared if I saw it still on his phone but like if we were boyfriend if it was at this point and we're you know fully boyfriend and girlfriend we've been dating each other for like four months or something i know i saw it on the phone i'd be like oh can you please get rid of that now like that's annoying yeah don't use that on your phone like i would just

speak up yeah i agree i think if i yeah if you saw something that on toby's phone you'd be a bit like that's where can you delete it i'd be like yeah yeah can you get rid of that please yeah yeah same i would say something i just like oh be like, oh, that's odd. Oh my God, no, I actually think he might say that on his phone. Guys, I'm going to steal his phone tonight and go through it.

Yeah, yeah, just say, my friend saw you on Tinder and be like, can you get rid, please? That's so embarrassing.

Oh God. I mean, guys, what do you think? Should we do a poll? When, like, how do you go about

these things? I think they're boyfriend, girlfriend, so she's got the right to be like, delete that they're not just dating anymore they're boyfriend no i agree but like how people do meet each other via date online dating apps now so like what is the minute how long is it acceptable for them still be on it i guess but you know what it is it's the equivalent of someone being boyfriend and girlfriend and still going out with like an i'm single banner above their head having the app so it's kind of like you 100 should delete it

especially if you've had a conversation about it and you're like oh you know what yeah i will delete it rather than being like oh it's paused yeah yeah fuck that no no no we're not in between stage here yeah we're committed that's the thing thing. It's almost suggesting that he's not committed to you and that he's sort of seeing what else is out there. Exactly. I don't like that at all. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling, winning.

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Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly so our second dilemma toxic friends and how to make new ones slash how to distance yourself my friends and i have been close for so many years i went through a really bad time around last year with my emotional health long story short i found out they were talking about me behind my

back about things related to how i was at that time i confronted them and one of them became very defensive about me addressing it things that said to me about how hard it is to be my friend and we directed everything onto me fast forward to now and i've made the decision to forgive but not forget i'm finding it really hard to move on i'm constantly being expected to open up to them when they have betrayed my trust in the past. This is not the first time. Along with that, there has been a few things that others have pointed out that they feel make the friendship toxic. Since the instance, I really feel unable to be myself. I'll often catch them pulling faces at each other if I'm talking. I confided in one of my other close friends and she feels that I should cut the

friendship. I'm just really unsure of what to do. Please it honest p.s I love the podcast so much I'm so sorry you're going through that that's so shit but I think you they I think you need to distance yourself I think so too it's really hard to come back from things like that with a friendship I think yeah particularly when it's like and also you you're probably the fact that you're thinking, you know, they may well be pulling faces behind your back, which is horrible in itself. And that deserves for you not to be with them. But even so, you could actually just being insecure and thinking they are because of past situations. But even so, it just shows up like maybe that friendship's done. Sometimes you just can't recover from friendships.

And, you know, i don't think they're obviously making you feel anxious and you you need to protect it's not positive the fact that you're like what that you shouldn't have to worry and like think this much about a friendship it should be like a non-stop like cool up make you feel better about something when you're feeling shit or insecure totally you know this is a complete opposite of what a friendship should do like melissa and i call each other up and we're like, I'm in a shit mood today, help me. And then we like sort each other out. I wouldn't, if I felt like I couldn't tell you how I was feeling, even if I was in the worst mood or being erratic or whatever, then that's not what a friendship is.

No, it's so true. Yeah, I don't, I think this is toxic and it's the universe's way of telling you that you need to move these people out. You do. A friendship is two ways, right? Like you message people and you ask to meet up or you call your friends or you see them at work or wherever. I don't think there's any reason to like have a formal conversation about we're not going to be friends anymore or, you know, anything or a fallout. I think if you do see them at work, I don't know where you see these friends anymore or you know anything or a fallout I think or if you do see them at work I don't know where you see these friends or if you're at school or whatever

but always be polite but then I just don't make an effort to go out of your way to see them and like make plans with them because that's just bringing them closer into your life and it's not I would just slowly phase them out do you know what I mean I've so and I've actually been there with friends who are you know I've not had the same situation but there are people who sometimes you've decided they're draining or like just you're maybe like they're not actually a positive person in my life and you just have to phase them out like there's you know they've probably not done anything intentionally I would hope but if they're not giving you you're not gaining anything from being friends with them just don't respond you know don't don't offer to meet up with them if they do not giving you you're not gaining anything from being friends yeah just don't

respond you know don't don't offer to meet up with them if they do text you maybe you know give a one word reply like really nice with a smiley face at the end but don't engage in conversation yeah next dilemma please keep anonymous love the podcast so much thank you love you too do you need experience to have had a few relationships before you meet the one okay hi guys i'm 24 years old and i'm a trans woman when it comes to relationships and dating and relationships i've never been in one or ever been on a date i've always tried since i was a teenager to find someone whether it's on apps or offline in person but I've never had any luck and it's always been due to being trans and guys not being accepting of that something I've always been worried and anxious about is the lack of experience and

learning with relationships for example if you've had a few relationships before you met the one the things you learn about dating and relationships and of course yourself it's very true heading into my mid-20s this year that lack of knowledge and experience will only make any future relationship I'm lucky to have more hard to navigate and experience as I worry if I'll be good enough or know what to do in brackets I know it sounds daft and stupid no it doesn't I think this is valid I also hate when I talk to guys when they ask when was my last relationship as I've always have have to say I've never been in one so my question is do you think having in your life several relationships is important before you meet the one or do you think it's not necessary and not a big deal and do you think whether for women or men it will put

you off if you spoke to someone and they said they hadn't been in a relationship before thank you lots of love I absolutely don't think it does I don't think it would bother me at all I don't think it would bother me a one bit but like I do under I do I would have the same feeling I get you I 100% get why you're feeling like that but if I was dating somebody and they were like early 20s and mid-20s I would just be like sweet it doesn't matter it really doesn't matter I think if you are a commitment phobe and you're like I don't want to get into a relationship and then you're like I've also never had a relationship I'd probably be a bit like oh but that doesn't sound like what you are at all you want to have a relationship and experience it and you'll just not find the one and you might find the one and you might you know my dad's ex-girlfriend first went out with someone at

30 I think she told me and she's sweet you know didn't didn't face her I also think there's I know this is bad there's nothing wrong with a little bit of a fib and a white lie so you can always just be like you know what I've had i've dated i've dated and you know i just haven't really found anyone that i've wanted to have a relationship with i am kind of ready now like there's nothing wrong with saying that do you know what i mean yeah exactly and then as you get and dating can really mean anything yeah just be blase about it if you do feel like on the first date you're feeling a bit self-conscious to say that i also feel like how many times have people said that oh you know what i've just dated i've never actually had a long-term relationship before

i've yeah i feel like so many people have like said that to me it's so normal and loads of people haven't had a long-term relationship before like you really it's not you're not a minority at all i think it's literally 50 50 uh-huh i think there are people who are 40 50 60 who have just dated and you know they're perfectly happy it's all subjective and all individual and everyone rolls with you know roll with the punches punches yeah yeah different paths 100 but I will blueprint for anyone no exactly and I will touch and I do um have sympathy for you in the respect that it is probably not as easy if you haven't been

in relationships and also you're trans so you're like you're kind of I guess trying to navigate two different things with yeah with dating so like obviously we understand that maybe it's not as just simple as like telling yeah it's not like yeah but I don't think that it matters at all as long as like you're confident in yourself, you know what, there's nothing wrong with just going out and dating, dating guys that you probably don't even like and just getting some experience. Like exactly. Just doing it. Just go get wind and dive. Yeah. Don't go out being like, right. Okay. I need to have a formal conversation about the fact that I've never been in a relationship before and whatever. Like just go, just go out and have

fun. A lot of people won't even ask that question. feel like do you not think yeah and if they do they're probably not interested it's just like you know the the sort of small chat that you have so when was your last relationship right now they're not really thinking about that they're just they're just thinking about you know what they actually just fancy or not like yeah yeah and ask yourself the question would you care if you fancy someone and they haven't had a long time relationship i doubt you would so remind yourself and go get them tiger okay last dilemma this is really good this looks really really good not being invited to a wedding hi sophie and melissa loving the podcast i. I find it very soothing and uplifting at work.

Stunning. Stunning. I have a giggle to myself. Stunning. I have a dilemma I'd love your opinion on. My partner and I have been together for four years and live together. My boyfriend has recently been invited last minute to his old flatmate's wedding in London. And it turns out I wasn't included in the invite.

We are from Edinburgh I should note that I haven't met the couple but I still feel hurt by this a lot as a lot of our joint friendship will also be there and they are very aware of me I understand that they are probably watching numbers and considering myself and my partner would invite both of them to our wedding and we are in a long-term serious relationship you would think they would give my boyfriend a plus one am i right to feel upset about this or do you think i should just let it go i know i'm probably going to go for the top but it's hard to not feel hurt by it to be honest it's upsetting me more that my boyfriend wants to go by me i'm really sorry but i think you're being silly i think you're being silly because you've never even met them you've never met them i'm really sorry but i never even met them i do get i would be bummed out i would be so bummed out but you

firstly cannot be annoyed at your boyfriend no you can't wedding when you're not invited like if even if one of our close friends invited jamie i wouldn't expect him not to go because i'm not like that's just yeah yeah yeah yeah but secondly i do get why you've got foma you want to be there like you know it's never not nice to not be invited to something it's not they've never met you if i haven't met they've never met me to something. Also, it's not... They've never met you. If I haven't met someone, they're not coming to my wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. They're not coming. No.

It's so true. Fair enough. If you'd met them, like, five times, which is a small amount of times, and you felt like you got on really well and it was, like, a lovely dinner party, then there would be, like, okay, right now, if you're not inviting me, that's weird. I know we don't know each other that well, but like, I've been with him for four years and we have spent time together. That would just be the polite thing to do,

but you've never met them. So I don't think so. I'm sorry. That was so savage. But at least now you know that you can shake it away, you know, tough love sometimes.

But also, by the way, I do get why you're upset, but you just, you need to remind yourself. You just need to like suck it up and like be like, oof,

just got to take that one on my chin. It's just one of those things. I get upset loads of times and I'm like, I have no right to be upset, but you know you need to remind yourself you just need to like suck it up and like be like oof just gotta take that one yeah it's just one of those things loads of times that i'm like i have no right to be upset but yeah i just silently am upset but i know i'm not supposed to be upset you be silently upset right now yeah yeah yeah yeah no also you don't want it getting back you don't have an argument with your boyfriend and then they're getting back to the couple that you're bummed out about not being invited because they'll be like why on earth does she think that she would ever be invited when we've never met you don't want stuff like that happening so you just need to say to your boyfriend like oh god i really would love to have gone but i do get that i'm i do get why i'm not invited but i'm pissed yeah oh yeah i would be like oh i'm so upset i'm not

yeah yeah yeah you can't be annoyed at them. Annoyed at them. For going. He's got to just suffer the consequences too. No, no, no. Okay, bride or bridezilla. Okay. Well. She found her dress. She found her dress. I can't believe it.

Yeah. I can't wait. And guys, it was really the opposite of what I thought I'd go for. Everyone says this. It's crazy. Luckily, you guys don't know what I thought I was going to go for so that won't give anything away after you do know after you had the wedding sorry can you please like show what you were gonna do have you ever seen those posts that people do like the dresses that didn't make it and then they show all the ones

they tried on oh my god I haven't really yeah my mom's or like their pictures and it's really shocking her photo skills so I might need to maybe I should go to a go back it's only my second dress shop so I'm almost like but I just know if you found the one you found the one you know yeah I said yes to the dress team very quickly oh and also guys we've had so that was a bit of a a lovely that was a lovely uplifting moment lovely up they made a bit of a bridezilla moment it wasn't so much of a bridezilla moment it's just a bit of a oh a bit of a hiccup jamie's cousin has got the date the wedding date that we wanted so what's gonna happen with that well we're obviously gonna have to not have that date but jamie have you booked the venue or anything

i'm confused no we haven't booked it we're going out next week to book it but like that is the wedding that's right i was set on that day and i know that they were available then i'm not sure if they're available the week before or after which is a bit bummed out anyway because his poor family are gonna have to go to two weddings in two weekends but that's all right but anyway jamie was like it's all right we can still do it that day i was like we can't do it on your cousin's wedding day like i want to go to their wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just cut. No, that's a real. But you should have learned your lesson

and put out your save dates sooner. Sorry, it's in over a year. Don't care. This is short of shit that's happening, Sophie. Yeah, this is short of shit that's happening. You need to get on with it and send out the save dates. His dad did warn us. I know, I know.

Give me two weeks and that'll be out. Okay. That'll be out. i'll be out okay come on waiting by the mailbox i'm going to come through um so i'm so if he already knows this but i'm just gonna tell you guys basically i'm i'm born again psycho i don't know what's going on it's just like this psycho girlfriend cloud over me it's happening to sophie as well and two of my other friends and it's happening to my brother's girlfriend as well so we're all in it together shut up so she said it's happening

yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so I can't even describe it but it's like it's almost like I've imagined him cheating on me and I just it's like it's become real in my brain yeah you're angry so I am so angry with him he's done nothing wrong bless his little heart the other night i came home um well i went back to his after a night out we had been quite drunk i got back at 11 45 so like wasn't horrendously late he was already awake it was fine he'd been out for a couple beers but wasn't drunk i was hammered started drinking very early on in the evening get back i'm lying on the bed and like he's talking to me and he's got a makeup wipe and he's trying to take my makeup off for me which is so sweet

like bless his soul I know so he's like trying to wipe my face like get this makeup off and I must have like sort of closed my eyes

and like semi-passed out woken back up again and then I go I go get off me Swedish boy and I think I don't want to go back off and I called him

Swedish boy why did you call him a Swedish boy because he's blonde I don't know sorry sorry what came over me when I was drunk sorry sorry sorry no no I need to take a moment you went get off me Swedish boy I'm fully dead sorry that's the most random I know thing I've ever heard and he just looked at me he was like he was like he said to me now he was like, he said to me now, he was like, I obviously knew you were drunk so he was like, I had to learn how to fake a straw

to be like, so he like, huddles like under the carpet. Yeah, his face is the other way and is like, no, it's true.

So I then go into the loo, take off all my makeup off, like brush my teeth, get ready to go. Do you remember this? All I remember is coming back into the bedroom and being like, did we just have an argument? he's like you just called me swedish boy and

tell me to fuck off and i was like i'm so sorry i love you so much you went fuck off swedish boy i'm sorry it's the most random thing it's almost like you're in a dream no i don't think i said fuck off i was like get off me Swedish boy get off me Swedish boy is beyond I know also so like bizarre I was like it's kind of a

backhanded compliment because I do say you look Swedish because he's so beautiful and blonde but I was just like oh my god anyway then I was like

I'm so sorry I love you so much have you ever called him Swedish boy as a joke like as a little cute now now it's like a joke I'm like

no I say it in like the like in like the third person so i make nothing for swedish boy today like i'm like yeah it's really funny and then um what day was it that i called you the next morning no i messaged you and i was like oh yeah yesterday morning guys i don't know what happened i think it's my hormones okay i'm on my period so like this psycho, this psycho is just, it's just happening. It's rambling. It's just, it's just within me.

And there's no controlling her. And yesterday morning, I woke up and I was just, like, in the worst mood. I can't even describe it. So, I've been having these awful, like, daydreams of vivid that I, where I, like, imagine Toby cheating on me. And I can, like, see it in my, in my brain that he's, like, oh, no, you know what? I can hear it on me and I can like see it in my in my brain that he's like oh no you know what it's I can hear it so I've told him he is so I keep getting this repetitive like daydream that he butt dials me and I can hear him sleeping with another girl and I can hear it on the phone and it's really vivid and horrible I think the reason why I'm having

these thoughts is we know someone who's recently been cheated on so i think it's like really affected me and like yeah so um i keep having that which just like he obviously hasn't done it and doesn't know that like you for you for it as well because maybe that's like playing into maybe a lot of things actually like affect my brain like more than i think they do when i like listen to them or hear stories like it seeps in there anyway yeah you're so i'm just as well so I'm like livid with him and he hasn't done anything wrong and we went to bed that night I woke up in the morning and I was in a really bad mood anyway because of my period and I was just like I just hate life I just hate myself like I'm puffy I'm gross I feel yeah yeah yeah we all have those days and um so it was that and then I

was also just like pissed off with him because this daydream that I kept having and I woke up and I was just like I'm in a I think he went to cuddle me and I went no I'm in a really bad mood at least you said it whereas I yeah yeah yeah I just admitted it and he was like okay and then like the whole morning like we were getting ready to leave like I was getting ready to leave and so was he so like we had like half an hour after we woke up to like leave the house it wasn't like we had time to like converse or like have an argument or anything which he would obviously not argue with me because i was just like i'm in a bad mood but and when i left i was like all right bye love you like and then i saw him at the end of last night and he was like are we still in a bad mood and i was

like a little bit because you know when that when like someone asks you that i like me and then you're back i've got to carry on with it no no no i've got to commit to the bad mood now yeah do you know how that happens you know when you're younger and you're stroppy and then like you want to join in the fun but you've got to commit to the strop so you're like no i'm not talking to it do you know what do you know what i mean totally or like you're upset and like you start laugh at something and then like your parents so can you like yeah yeah i've got to commit to the fact that i'm like in a bad mood oh my god anyway it was fine i'm in a bad mood now yeah i love him you love the swedish boy she loves the swedish boy get off me swedish boy is so funny because also i know you so much when

you're drunk and you're so aggressive like she would have literally like shoved him and been like get off me Swedish boy tiny tiny girl going crazy tiny ball of fire tiny ball of fire if anyone else has had the psycho cloud this week let us know because we both have had it and quite a few people

have so something in the air it is something in the air I It is something in the air. I really, yeah. Something funky. I can relate to anything that's psychic-y at the moment. And I'm going to rate my bottle of water as a 10 out of 10 because it's hydrating me lovely. Swimming, I go, yeah.

I was gasping for one the whole way through this podcast. I'm rating mine a zero. I'm going to go and get myself some water now. Love you guys. Bye, guys. Love you guys. Bye guys, love you. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you,

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But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of Dilemma follow-ups, which we love,

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