Wednesdays - Ep 55: LOVE LANGUAGES
Episode Date: May 3, 2022This week on our zoom date we are discussing iconic met gala looks, surviving your 20's, love languages and WEDDING SEASON! Enjoy xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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Hey, guys.
We're at NotSquad.
Were we together last week?
I can't even remember.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, we were.
I was in the green dress.
Oh, my God.
That feels like a life jacket. That was so weird. Oh, my God. No, wait. That wasn't last week. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we were. I was in the green dress. Oh, my God, that feels like a life jacket.
That was so weird.
Oh, my God.
No, wait, that wasn't last week.
Was it not?
Anyway.
We're both abroad.
I'm in Portugal and Melissa's in Mallorca.
She arrived yesterday.
We've got some stormy island weather,
but you know that's the island life, isn't it?
The stormy.
It's really stormy.
It's actually quite horrible here.
Is it?
Yeah.
But you've had a week
of stunning sunshine.
No, no.
When we arrived last week,
it was miserable.
But it was okay
because it was just me,
my sister and my mum.
So we just went on long walks,
exactly what you're doing.
And then by the time
everyone arrived,
my cousins, Jamie
and my sister's boyfriend,
et cetera, came out.
It was like stunning weather.
And then the minute
they were on yesterday,
it's cloudy again.
You know why it's spring weather? It's not summer yet so my dad said like you can't expect yeah the
mid-may stunning summer weather in may yet until the end of may then it starts to get more like
reliable good you're there for how many weeks so 10 days all together but obviously that the first
like five days i'm here, it's cloudy like this.
Then my brother comes, his girlfriend comes, Toby comes, my sister comes.
Stunning.
My grandparents come.
Lovely weather.
I know how sweet big old family affairs are.
We're going to cover that in the Not So Single Diaries.
Big step.
Darling, that is a big step.
Yeah.
How was it with, so the brother-in-laws?
Oh, we can cover that later.
Sorry, I'm just done. We can cover that later sorry i'm just
me and sophie hasn't haven't fully debriefed we haven't spoken at all there's been not one
facetime has that no there's been there's been a couple whatsapps on the daily yeah but very
minimal for us very it's been very you'll see when all your family come it's like quite full
on you don't get yeah my phone was literally not i don't know where it was the whole weekend it was
like that's so lovely when you just leave it like in the bedroom although i did not we're
meant to be youtubers i didn't take my camera once i didn't see and i didn't take one photo
oh no i haven't obviously vlogged a single thing since i've been here but that's because
you know it's just me and it's a bit cloudy but boy it's me and my cloudy my cloudy house
anywho um we're also we're not drinking it's down 20 in the morning so that would be quite
rogue on a tuesday yeah after bank holiday like i actually feel a bit it was a long weekend it
was a long weekend i feel sick at the thought of alcohol at the minute i have drank do you yeah
i didn't i was
very good and i was very very very controlled what did i do on the friday you were really good
you had a very relaxed i feel like everyone mental this weekend i know and i feel like it's gonna
blur people's like days of the week it's because may it's just full of bangladesh and it's like
yeah there's like 20 days off in may or something crazy we've got quite what like we've got a really fun May like you come back we do go to Tiff's hand and the weekend
after is Tiff's wedding like it's stunning it's really full on it's so fun I can't wait yeah so
we've got to really like watch the alcohol and save ourselves for those two weekends yeah yeah
we've got like two weekends now to chill and then then you go big again. Well, not for me. No, yeah, you'll have a big piece.
But I'll be okay.
I'll pull through.
Yeah, exactly.
It feels different when it's with your family, doesn't it?
It feels more like acceptable because everyone's doing it and your parents are doing it and whatever.
So you're kind of like, oh, it's fine.
Yeah, and the next day is like so fine.
Whereas in England, you like mull about and you feel a bit groggy.
Yeah, you just nest in the room and you don't leave. Whereas here's like right get out in the sunshine let's go out on the boat.
Yeah you'll feel like right you just force yourself to get over it lovely.
Yeah so my drink of choice this this holiday is gonna be just rose all day. Last night I had a
lovely like um something by Ott. What was it? Ott? Oh Ottie. I love that that really nice bottle.
Yeah but it was like
a different,
they've come up with
like a different,
I don't know if they've
just come out with it,
they've got like a different
range within it.
You know how Mirabelle
is like pseudo-Mirabelle?
Yeah, there's loads of them now.
It's like a different one
by Ott anyway, it's lovely.
So I had that last night
with my mum.
That was divine.
I was doing loads
of gin and tonics.
I did,
I know,
really went back into them.
I had like grapefruit gin with like loads of grapefruit
my hands got like a lot of grapefruit trees i was like what it was where did we go croatia
takes me back sophie always used to put a lovely um oh my god i did did i used to drink gin there
yeah with grapefruit and you got me into it there as well it's so nice guys you had it here first
a bit of basil or like rosemary or any herb.
Yeah, lovely.
And it looks really pretty.
Just shove in anything.
And it's quite peppercorn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I also can drink loads of them.
Whereas Rosie, I get so drunk so quickly.
You're so good.
Like you're born to, you're like,
you have wine running through your veins, I'm sure.
But yeah, it doesn't even touch my mom said at one point it was such
a joke at one point because me and mom were drinking so much I was like she's like can't
sleep that's it she said it gets me to sleep can't sleep but it I'm glad so it's like oh god
that's really not sounding good yeah that's really not sounding good anyway obviously she was shaking
guys yeah obviously but also if she lives abroad it's kind of so acceptable again i know it just makes
it different and it's the sun it's the sun it's the sun like does something to us assuming doesn't
it i think you must sweat it out quicker as i'll see you detox by quicker maybe yeah you're right
wait can you just tell me quickly about that heat magazine with toby and also your text when you're right i'm gonna love it detox fine wait can you just tell me quickly about that heat
magazine with toby and also your text when you're like what's oh my god so that actually genuinely
made me feel very anxious some one of toby's friends sent him this like screenshot of an
article from like twitter or something like lol because they're like a headline or whatever they'd
written on the like caption was like oh something melissa's fit boyfriend toby something about flossy you
know we did that episode podcast yeah flossy guys something referring back to that right
and um one of his friends obviously sent it to him and he sent it to me like lol and i was like
no no don't ever send me stuff like that ever again because it just gave me like a wave of like
i don't know why in your chest it's almost like the thought of other people talking about me is just like a strange, horrible thought.
I don't know what it does.
It just does something to me.
And it also makes me feel like my power's been taken away slightly.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I don't really.
Even though all they were doing was repeating what we were saying in our podcast, which is like so fine.
But like for some reason it just was like, I was like, don't send me stuff like that.
I don't want to know stuff like that.
It's not hot.
Did you read it? No. No. Oh oh it would have been no way no but when you messaged me like who's been saying he's fit i was like i'm pretty sure we've no as
in as in the person who's written the articles obviously taking that upon themselves to say
fit in capital legends that's why i was like who the hell's writing this article
i was like what is she on about
I was like
is she drunk
I was like
is they just
had a look at him
and seen he's fit
and he is fit
me and Hermione
were like
why the fit
in capital letters
like everyone
was fucking calm down
it's probably because
we were in the podcast
we know he's fit guys
we know he's fit
it might have been
because I had said it
in the podcast
and they were
to me that
I do feel like
we talk about it quite a bit he is stunning they if they got it right they would
have said something yeah at least it was a compliment and he let's stop talking about
toby he's not the um star of this show guys just um yeah okay so cocktails holiday cocktails my
was a gin and tonic gin grapefruit kept me going but i could drink it all day long I didn't drink it
so that's going to be
your drink of choice
at the hen day
and the wedding then
no because I don't think
we've got gin
I read like the thing
they've done vodka
and tequila
and I don't
I don't
I don't
tequila
what do
you're going to just
have the rose
I might just
I think I'll do
the same with you
let's do a glass of rose
a glass of water
because we've got
a long day
I'm more excited
for the hen day
this is my first hen day of water because we've got a long day I'm more excited for the hendi this is my first hendi
I've ever
what than that
your wedding
yeah
yeah I'm sick
I've been to weddings
but it's because I've never done it
and it's going to be so fun
and the itinerary
we got sent through the itinerary
the itinerary looks unreal
I'm very excited
I actually
I think weddings are like
I've never done a hendi
but weddings are my favourite thing
same
they're just so wholesome
and lovely aren't they
so wholesome like lovely so wholesome
like the most wholesome like you feel so warm all day you know what yeah everyone's in the best mood
everyone's a good happy drunk like nothing nothing it's very where you get someone who's like really
hammered so true so true everyone's always in a really really great mindset
met gala come on let's discuss. Yeah, go on.
Give me your thoughts.
So I loved Kimmy's dress.
I thought she was stunning. Kimmy's was probably my favourite.
And you know why?
I think it's because, you know how we were talking last time
about the last thing that she went to?
Oh, yeah.
We were so bummed out about how she keeps covering herself up.
We literally said this is the old Kim.
We were like, why is she doing that such boring,
like get some sequins, get some other texture
than that stupid life.
She heard us. She heard us. And like, it just it's amazing did you see her walking in it though she
like could take one inch of the step it was like oh my god i also just a little bit weirded out
the more i think about it about her and pete like i just don't really i just don't really get what
they talk about they look really sweet
together in this picture that we're looking at right now like the height difference like they
look yeah like he just looks really happy he's like yeah see I'm so happy right now this lady
on my arm do you know what I mean yeah he's like fucking hell although like he has dated some
absolutely fire people so yeah he really has I thought Hayley looked unbelievable as per but i wasn't sure about
the black tights i don't think they were necessary i liked her i don't know why i just didn't think
they were necessary i don't know like how it goes from being obviously because it's tighter around
her thigh to being darker on the ankle i feel like we could have just done without the black
tight but maybe there was a reason for her wearing them yeah what was the theme again
i don't really know wait hold on i think we've got it here gilded glamour was that it yeah and like a bit of they so they wore like you know marilyn monroe wore those thin sort of
tights and they all had a bit of like a feather boa and glitz fine so she's following the theme
with that she's following but the outfit was fabulous i like the way she like threw it up in
the end it was like an angel way same did you see um blake lively i don't think i have oh my god
no i need to see she like had a dress that transformed.
And so apparently they were like the king and queen of the event,
Blake and Brian Adams.
Yeah, it looks unreal, doesn't it?
Oh God, she is just a vision.
There's something about Blake Lively.
Oh my God, wow.
A vision, am I right?
A vision.
She looks like a full-on princess.
Wow.
She really is the queen.
She's so decadent like
in everything she wears there's so many jewels and like sequins i know and the colors that she
pulls off as well and never ever ever looks tacky it's always so like chic i don't know how she
always has her own style within every other style so it's so blake lively that dress
so blake lively it's the colors it's also like so serena what it is it's serena yeah it's serena vibes like she
really incorporate maybe they base it off her but like it's always a bit ethereal like she always
has like plaits and like half a hair up and then like the gorgeous jewelry and like i'm just
obsessed you know how wedding rings got rose gold we had this discussion so it looks kind of pinky diamond i didn't know that's really cool what the actual Wedging Ring's got rose gold? We had this discussion. So it looks kind of pinky diamond-y.
I didn't know that.
It's really cool.
What the actual rock is.
It's all rose gold.
And like the rose gold obviously reflects slightly into the diamond.
So it looks quite like pinky in certain lights.
It's really cool.
Oh, I actually don't really love rose gold jewellery just on me.
Neither do I.
On me.
But on her, obviously, it's just like the perfect.
Yeah, because it's gold.
Like it's less harsh than gold, I guess.
It's more soft my one
of my good friends that's just got engaged her band is yeah um rose gold and it looks absolutely
stunning really the one it's just a bit different the girl you are you showed me her right yeah
alex the really stunning diamond it is that's rose gold i know it's stunning really oh my god
that's so interesting she asked for it or did her boyfriend just be like... She always wears rose gold
always.
All her jewellery
is rose gold.
That's the thing.
If you wear rose gold
you can only sort of
wear rose gold.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think you can...
To be fair,
I think you can mix.
Some of my friends
wear rose gold
and yellow gold
and actually it's really cool
because she's really tanned.
Should you ban people
that don't follow the theme?
Okay, this is obviously
going back to the Met Gala.
So apparently like
people are getting
quite annoyed about the fact that some people haven't followed the theme down to the T. You back to the Met Gala. So apparently, like, people are getting quite annoyed about the fact
that some people haven't followed the theme
down to the T.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I didn't quite get...
I get that she was obviously doing it for Virgil.
Is that how you say his...
It's pronounced his name.
Virgil, I believe, yeah.
Yeah.
So I kind of respect it.
Who are we just talking about here?
Kylie?
Yeah.
Kendall.
Kylie.
What?
I thought Kendall did.
I thought hers was decadent glamour
or whatever
yeah I like Kendall's
and I also like the fact
that she don't
wash out her eyebrows
quite sick
why does that look
nice on her
yeah it looks like
why does she look
nice with no eyebrows
because she's just
perfect
I also always
I think Kendall's
like grown her eyeballs
her eyes are bigger
everyone go and
look at before and
afters
it's like she's had
something to stretch
them and they go up like you know they're it's like she's had something to stretch them
and they go up like you know they're like a cartoon she probably had that weird thread
thing that they've all had but then it's so dangerous i don't think they can have it anymore
they banned threading have they well i don't know i feel like there's all these horror stories so
it's like how do they even allow people to have it done now so wait sorry jared loretto that
confused me so much i thought there was two of them. What do you mean?
It's not Gerard Loretto, is it?
It's Gerard Leto.
Am I okay?
Yeah, why are you looking at this?
There's a picture of Dakota Johnson with Gerard Leto.
I don't know, Gerard Leto.
Am I saying that right?
Gerard Leto, yeah.
And then someone else who I don't know who it is,
but they dress exactly the same same and it's dakota
with jared letton this other guy and it looks like there's two jareds and then scroll through
and you can see dakota's outfit she looks really sexy she's got the stunning fringe situation which
maybe is doing them which is really good why does she look good with fringe this fringe situation
is looking stunning on people oh right so people referring to ggid because i don't really get how that is in
gilded what is gilded glamour because could you say that's gilded like a fish and she kind of
looks like she's got scales that's that's a girl that oh wait hold on gilded do you mean gills that
like a yeah that's exactly what i mean but that's maybe she got it wrong and she thought they should dress like a
but that is a bit strange i think she looks for not like she always does i think blake
livey's the winner for me in this whole scenario blake then kendall then dakota johnson no mine's
blake and kim oh yeah sorry kim's gotta be up there blake kim then i love kendall's too
kendall's is stunning also don't you just feel like yay chloe she went to the met gala her first
one did she why is she not included um she's wearing like a glittery glittery what you'd
expect her to wear like it couldn't be more like 90s i need to have a look 90s like fashion
like flap dress vibe you know what i mean like god i'll have a look 90s like fashion like flap dress vibe
you know what I mean
like glitzy
gotta have a look at it
glitzy glamour
she posted it on her insta
no she hasn't
that's a shock
why hasn't she posted it
I don't know
she must have
maybe she didn't
oh got it
got it
got it
got it
got it
oh my god
and Kourtney went too
Ryan Reynolds
Blake Lively
Regina King
and Lin-Emmanuel Miranda
were the co-chairs
of the event
so this means
that their roles
they helped put together
their entire guest list
that's wild
they worked
that's cool
yeah that's so safe
but like savage
if you got uninvited
and it was because
they just had a personal
bandage for Grangie
worked with top chefs
to create the specific menu
which is often
in line with each year's theme
I would love
to see the menu other notable Met Gala coaches in recent years have been cage perry
taylor swift jennifer lawrence bradley cooper with sarah jess parker in 2014 oh sick they were
definitely so cool so this is why obviously um chloe and courtney have been invited because
they've obviously made some sort of a cut with the hosts this year
or whatever the co-hosts whatever you call it yeah maybe or maybe like keeping up with the
kardashians is weird so they're more in the press i don't but i don't think that's the reason why i
think you've got to make some sort of a fashion statement in order to be invited like you have
to be seen as a fashion like something really it's something to do with your fashion like nothing to do being if anything
like you wouldn't get invited if you're on a reality show kim only started to get invited i
think because of kanye yeah it's true and then kendall and kylie obviously got the invite and
then now they're all going fascinating it really is just i would love i would love what would you
prefer the metal the oscars, the Met or the Oscars?
Oh, the Met,
100%. The Met lose, apparently.
They're just, like, iconic.
Yeah, same.
Okay.
Oh my God, imagine.
Just being a waiter there.
How do we become a waiter?
Can we apply to be a waitress?
Oh my God, can we become a waitress?
Or I sometimes think, like,
I would just be, you know,
the person to put people in the chairs
because then you fully get to, like,
talk to them and touch them.
Yeah.
I'd be like... You get to be so up close have a look at that makeup let's have a look i
know i was thinking how caked it must be i know as in like not in a bitch way but they cake it
so that you can't see a thing the pictures they look really good yeah yeah so it's like
bait bait that's the word so you put a layer on then you put it so then you put the powder on
then you put the start from fresh and you do it about four times how no you're lying to me yes melissa if you
saw them up real it's like that thick i don't that's horrible i just feel like hayley wouldn't
have that though she's so now i know hayley apparently like when she gets ready it's like
it's like the thinnest layer and they're like this is gonna last half an hour so she's got to get in
and out of the red carpet. It's so thin.
Really?
Yeah.
Have you not watched her YouTube video on it?
Where they, like, talk and they're doing her makeup.
I think she's getting ready.
What's that one with the short,
that white, like, YSL suit dress situation?
Anyway, it was one of these, like,
Oscar situations
and they would,
the makeup artist was like,
it's so thin,
so she can, like,
it only lasts, like, half an hour on her
and then it's gone
oh my god
why is she so beautiful
I know
okay we need to do
our follow
we've got follow
fuck
we've got follow ups
fuck offs
oh we've got some
fuck ups
from you guys
we've got some
follow ups
from you guys
which we love
do you want to
read the first one
yeah
hey hey my lovelies
love the podcast
I'm just following up from the question about my boyfriend of 11 months only posting me
on his close friends i remember this so he wouldn't post to anywhere else apart from close friends
sneaky okay i just spoke with him now about it in person and he just said it's because he never
really posts on his stories or post photos which i do get to be honest but if i asked if he would
post me or why he hasn't and he said he
would now so I guess it has more of a thing of me not asking I did say to him that it gives me the
vibe that he wants to appear single and he said that he that that wasn't the case and he just
genuinely didn't use it that much so I guess that's okay and you know what boys don't use
their social media yeah and they don't think about things like we do they're not as complex
I don't think they're playing games so that's really
good that you followed up and glad that we solved that situation for you lovely well done good for
just confronting that head on yeah exactly and now like the anxiety's gone you and also now you can
make a joke out of it and be like take a photo of me put it on your social media yeah yeah yeah
like you or you can just take a nice picture and be like right give me a phone i'm gonna post on your instagram right now yeah exactly stomach
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Oh, this is a dilemma.
We're jumping straight in.
So dilemma one is fashion advice.
I've been invited to a wedding this summer in the Amalfi, Italy.
Lovely.
I'm pretty confident dressing for UK weddings,
but it's going to be 28 plus degrees
and we'll be outside at midday.
Any outfit fashion
advice would be a dream so I'm really struggling to find anything that's suitable and not white
or cream thanks girls love the podcast um I would do a short dress because it's just too hot to do
not too short but like I would do like above knee vibe yeah you want to get that breeze in or I would
do a really loose I'd actually do a loose maxi probably like you know really stringy really really loose yeah like just a beach maxi and you could put yeah
obviously i wouldn't yeah the white cream vibe isn't absolutely no but you could do like light
blue light pink yellow you could do light green flowers can't you yeah flowers yeah cream with
flowers on it's fine i would still i would still feel uncomfortable doing that just because i'm so
paranoid about people saying that it's too close but um yeah i think any lighter colors it's fine. I would still feel uncomfortable doing that just because I'm so paranoid about people saying that it's too close.
But yeah, I think any lighter colours,
it's fine.
Do not go down the navy or the black route
because the sun will just...
I also think black's a bit of a no-go
so I'm not wearing black.
Same, I do.
I do.
Unless it's a really wintry wedding in the UK,
it's never fine.
I would do...
I would look at maxis
because I literally think
you don't have to wear
a pair of pants like you don't wear any underwear they're so floaty do you know what i mean by the
one side like the triangle boobs yeah like so drapey they don't clean so so so dry and like
if you catch a bit of wind it'll blow up like yeah yeah and also you're shaded that way so
your legs kind of in the shade so you're being called at the same time reformation is just a really good place for wedding guest dresses yeah try reformation or
i'm trying to think of something else i think asos probably have a good selection or there's so many
um sustainable hiring places now like by rotation her there's loads hire me hire her address
dress her there's shit loads of them so i'd actually hire a dress maybe the problem is
with that i do understand that you don't get to try it on and also for me i need everything taking
it so i can't hire dresses because i'm like oh we need the waist pinning or i need to have taken up
because i'm so bloody short and then obviously you can't do that if you're renting a dress so i would
maybe um leave yourself enough time to be able to try something on or whatever and yeah suss out
yeah or get a
dress that you can wear again like whenever i buy dresses i'm like i'm gonna need to be able to wear
this dress again like over and over and over again yeah another thing also i would do really dewy
makeup probably won't put any powder on and bring a facial mist we love a facial mist good idea and
a fan and it's a lovely a lovely um fan situation and lovely maybe a hat i yourself a lovely a lovely fan situation
and lovely
maybe a hat
I mean a hat
is obviously
a very weddingy thing
but like
something just to
block the sun
off your face
I just think a hat
they don't look quite right
with a maxi dress
unless you wear
a big floppy hat
and then she's going
to have hat hair
no but what are those
hats that people
wear to weddings
like it's a lot
of weddings
it's like you
have to wear a hat
sort of situation
do you know those weddings yeah but I don't very formal i don't like that there
okay guys no one have a wedding where you have to wear a hat but like what a fascinator i would
not be that's the word fascinating no that's a bit much melissa yeah it's a fascinator like
those little things on top of your head no they're not my vibe i don't like them i'm trying to think
if i had to wear a hat to a wedding what i would do i'd wear a big floppy one yeah but then it does sometimes actually
i think hats have the reverse effect so it's cooling on your body and your face then i take
it off my hat my head is so like sweaty underneath yeah yeah yeah and i'm like it just looks bad
because i wear i wear a hat every single day because of sun exposure and I just always take it off
and I'm like, ugh, I look terrible now.
Yeah, it does.
I mean, look at me.
This is the situation I'm going to be in
for the rest of the week.
The hat is staying on.
Yeah, mine stayed on the whole time.
So you can get really nice like rattan fans
that look really cute
that you can like fit in your handbag
when you're not using it.
I think fans are so chic, yeah.
Yeah, I would take a fan.
Yeah, fan is key. that is such a good bit
of advice also also do not moisturize your body before going out in the sun i've made that mistake
do it but leave it enough time to soak in if you haven't let it soaked in that's when it starts to
get sticky and horrible but you sweat so much and moisturizer clogs your pores, so you're just, it keeps the heat in.
Are you talking about your face or your body?
Body.
What? Really? I've never heard that.
Yeah, unless you use a really thin...
But you have to put sun cream on. Put your sun cream on, kids.
You don't want to be out in 28 degrees, because a wedding can actually go on for quite a long time.
Yeah.
And the sun, you probably will get a bit burnt.
Yeah, maybe just put sun cream on and try and get a really...
Look how sensible we're being about this. We're taking this dilemma very seriously. And also taking this dilemma very seriously sun cream fan she's only asked about what she needs to wear we've
literally gone through every category i think also i'm still going on um i think also um
okay i'm gonna stop there because i yeah yeah we could go on forever we can't go on forever okay
because you're thinking about your own hot wedding,
so you're almost, like, going through the logistics a bit, right?
Yeah, like, what I'm going to tell everyone to do.
The details.
Okay, dilemma two.
Hey, girls, love the pod.
I have a dilemma.
Little bit of background.
I've been in a relationship for eight months.
However, we were friends for years prior
and completely head over heels for him.
Oh, that's sweet.
I literally do everything i can to please him as i feel as as i feel i am majorly punching oh my gosh very much lacking in self-confidence however i do so much for him i'm starting to feel
like his mother and the effort is not completely reciprocated from his end don't get me wrong he
does do stuff however i'm at the stage of buying little presents to cheer him up doing all his washing and cooking for him every night does this mean
i like him more than he likes me or is he too comfortable and i'm doing too much too early i
really need some advice from both sides i think in relationships some people are givers and some
people not takers but like if received me receive us and also just like don't overthink it i think you're overthinking it you obviously
enjoy cooking for him you obviously enjoy if you don't stop it that's an issue but if you enjoy
getting him presents cooking yeah watching for him you're not doing anything wrong and he's not
because he's not asking you to do that you're choosing to do that and you enjoy it if you're
doing it and you don't enjoy it and he's asking you to do it there's an issue there
so so agree I think it's so fine like you know Jamie doesn't know how to cook I like cooking
for him I enjoy it he will be like oh I'll cook for us I don't want him to cook I don't like his
food so I like to do the cooking so there's not an issue there but if he was like Sophie cook for
me every night and I was like like Sophie cook for me every night
and I was like can you cook for me and he's like no then I would be like that's a bit right yeah
so I think it's so fine if you're happy doing it and that brings you joy and you're literally doing
it out of choice and he's not nagging you to cook for him that's fine but then the other half of
this is she does feel like it's not reciprocated in other ways so like your love language is obviously like back to Travis
you're like doing things for him um but you're not feeling like it's reciprocated in any other
like love language way so he does little things but you maybe you need more of something back
back from him like there's nothing worse I actually feel like we actually have yeah two people that we
know which is like a similar yes situation to this where she will do above and beyond everything and he doesn't really
give much so I think that that's a difficult one and I think you need to take a step back and just
be like is there actually anything wrong with the relationship and do you feel like you're
overcompensating for your like insecurities which you shouldn't feel like you shouldn't need to do that
and like you shouldn't be insecure because he wouldn't be in a relationship with you and you
wouldn't be with him if it wasn't right yeah he didn't love you and want to be with you so I would
um maybe it would make you feel actually weirdly more confident if you weren't doing as much for
him because you're almost doing so much that you're expecting more from him at this point do you know what I mean and you give so much and you're like right well
now I need this back yeah I'm not getting it back because you're going above and beyond
maybe I don't know yeah I think that's so true and I think I have seen it you know
some girls are super romantic and you know they'll but yeah i'm not that romantic like i don't write gushy
cards i just don't need them it doesn't do i like it's sweet but it just it's just not in my blood
and but some of my friends like that if they don't get a card you know that really affects
them they need you know a valentine's card or they need a birthday card like i don't
need that and then i think me and sophie are so similar like that how funny yeah we really are almost like don't bother with the card literally just write me a
text i love you yeah i don't need you that's lovely that'll do me if you're not around but
neither's right or wrong but you just have to think in your head not every yeah you can't expect
things from people i think or it's tricky when you do expect things from people yeah don't don't
expect everyone to have the same mindset as you because
yeah he won't be yeah the same it's the love languishing that's so true everyone's got a
different love language but then again there has to be some other form of love language like what
exactly so you have to receive it in another way so maybe he's not going to cook for you but he
should be doing it by i don't know words of affirmation or like being affectionate with you or something like you should feel the love back in another way
yeah and so it feels balanced I think that's where the issue comes because I think if everyone
felt you it doesn't matter what each person's love language is you just need to feel it from
some form yeah so what's our advice I think don't put too much pressure on yourself and I feel like you're
overcompensating because you have this insecurity that you think that you're punching which is so
silly you're overcompensating by being like right well I've got to do this this and this because
he's so much better than me and like I would stop that take a step back cook for him when you feel
like it and you want to enjoy it and you want to have like a nice meal together every now and then
or whatever but as you say you're not his mum you don't need to do his
washing pimp you don't need to cook for him unless you really want to and don't you shouldn't be
doing it because you want to make up for your insecurities as such because that's just not
healthy and you should not feel insecure no you shouldn't and yeah yeah I do he'll love you like and he wouldn't be with you if um he
didn't love you right so I so agree and I agree with everything I think eight months is very early
to do all his washing and cooking I'm just gonna put it out there there's no way in hell you're
gonna catch me doing Toby's washing no maybe if he came to my house he was like oh shit I've just
spilt something down my top I'd wash it for him but i wouldn't go over to his house and be like right oh what are you washing piles imagine what
are your whites your darks and your undies right give me your dad's washing but it is very sweet
of you but no and look i do think it you know yeah that obviously doesn't provide you yeah
but getting little presents i do i am a fool i do do that so do you melissa i do that i do that
with everybody it's terrible well it's not terrible that's obviously my love language
yeah it's true you do do that you do it with me for sure
okay dilemma three hi girls want to start by saying i love the podcast so much and i've been
listening every wednesday i love you too love you too I'm stuck in a position at the moment I doubt I'm the only one this in this stage of my
life. I'm 24 graduated uni and I've been in a corporate job for just over a year. It's fine
but purely a stepping stone to where I want to be as I need two years experience to apply for the
career I really want to do. This means I have a year left in a job I don't really enjoy on a pretty
rubbish salary considering
the amount of work I'm doing I'm struggling to stay motivated not only in the work but it's
spreading into my mindset infecting other aspects of my life I feel like I really need a new focus
to keep me motivated for the next year I'm in a new relationship which is going so well I have
good friends around me but I just feel like something is missing and I'm not sure what to do
keep an arm if possible and thanks any advice opinions you can give me Melissa over to you okay so I would
look at this as you are obviously a very hard working person you've got big aspirations which
I admire so much because I've never had like a set career path in my brain yeah and I've never
been someone who's like this is what I'm desperate to I've got to do this two years experience then I'm there so I know that so this two years of like working in this job is
obviously not stimulating you enough and it's probably getting you a bit like you feel a bit
bored it sounds like with this job and you're like oh don't really feel like fulfilled I would look
at it as if it's obviously you said it's a stepping stone to where you really want to be
and that's your dream I would stick it out because in the long run, it's only two years, you're so young,
you're 24. And I would look at it like school. School, we've all had to do it for however many
fucking years of our lives. None of us really liked it. It was a stepping stone. And you just
accept it. And you're like, right, I've just got to accept it because everyone's got to go to school.
Yeah. And this is how we're going to get to the point that we want to be at when,
you know, we leave school and we can get a job and whatever.
I would look at it like that.
I don't think you should beat yourself up over thinking that you should feel
so outrageously inspired and happy by this two years experience.
It's two years experience and then you're going to be in your dream job.
And it sounds like you've come so far already.
Like you've done the uni thing.
Yeah.
I wouldn't sort of give up on it. and it sounds like in like your personal life everything else is going
so well right like I mean not everyone is obsessed with their jobs when they first start out and
they're like I've just got to stick it out it's like doing law from a uni it's so long and also
I wouldn't like put so much pressure on yourself because even if you know you get to this and then
you get your dream job in two years after this and then you're like oh I'm still not
satisfied actually enjoying this I thought I would yeah you change and like that happens so much like
it's no no one it's like you know in the movies it's like oh everyone you do this and then there's
a blueprint for everyone I really don't think that happens in real life yeah every single
journey and chapter like you may meet the love of your life in this experience job or whatever and then the next you
know it's all a journey yeah and it is all a journey trust your process and I don't think
that you should overthink it too much and be like I should be so in love with this process right now
and you want to think it's only temporary it's literally like so many people don't really like
their uni but you know they're like you know what I've got to get this degree so
I can do the job I want to do when I leave yeah it's just like that and like if you've got other
things going on around you that you really really love I personally my advice if you were my friend
I would be like stick at it come on same you've worked so hard this is your which is where you
want to go in your career this is just what you've got to do yeah you'd be so disappointed in yourself if you like yeah and you look back and you're like god i
could have just stuck out for another year if it was five years i think our advice maybe would be
different but two years in the grand scheme of things is not long it's it will fly by especially
if you've got like fun things going on outside of your workplace right i'm just gonna start on not so single diaries because i've just got to get out
obviously we touched on it briefly we've um got this big family holiday so this is a big step for
us this is a big step so he's meeting well no he's met everyone apart from your grandparents
yeah yeah he's met everyone and then the grandparents will be so sweet and so wholesome
but it's as in like it's just the pressure of like spending like six days with like family and people do you know what I mean like it's a long old stick
no he'll love it it's so lovely you'll have the best time I know I'm really excited I think it
will like solidify your love for each other even though it's very solidified anyway it's funny
yeah carry on it does bring you to like another level I do think yeah like when I did the Easter
I think how many nights was that maybe two or three that was like oh god like I'm so much more
in love with him like when I came away from that with his family it's weird isn't it how you have
that he'll have that maybe he feels that way about me he's not like get me away from this mental
no he won't he'll have the fun I the fun it's so good your brother's coming out
and your sister
and like
your brother's girlfriend
there's a really nice
dynamic
takes the pressure off
as well
at just being like
totally strange
because Mimi's there
which is nice
yeah yeah yeah
massively
and he'll feel that
as well for sure
yeah
um what's mine
oh right
so you talk about
can we talk about
your
sorry
I just have to talk
about it
um Tom
who's Sophie's sister's fiance
yeah and it was so sweet georgia and i'm like this is and also jamie like is so adhd and tom
is also quite like they don't sit down so they really it's like one thing from the other it was
like tennis then go play golf then just jump in the pool then go do this
then go do that
then throw a ball together
oh god so having children
to entertain
yeah it's like having children
the whole time
but at least it's not
on me anymore
I was like
oof you guys
me and my sis were like
lovely we can just sit
and read for a minute
relax yeah
sit by the pool
have a glass of rose
have a G&T
yeah yeah
gorgeous
it was so gorgeous
very sweet
and they kept like
you know when like
boys like have inside jokes they just laugh the whole time sweet and they kept like you know when like boys like have in
inside jokes they just laugh the whole time yeah what but it's actually so sweet i was like
and then second exciting thing i'm actually the minute i finish this i've got a call with um
a wedding dress designer she's done sketching for me so i'm jumping off this i really should
take these i i've got like you know under eye mask on
I've got that
yeah guys
she's always like
roadie
all nip and fab
whatever they are
what are they
one on one skins
stunning
rose
lovely
so that's mine
get planning that wedding
get planning that wedding
and then next week
a week to
a week yesterday
go look at the venue
oh my god
this is the part
I'm most excited about my mum's been non-stop asking me about Sophie's wedding and the venue. Oh, my God. This is the part I'm most excited about.
My mum's been non-stop asking me about Sophie's wedding and the venue.
I'm like, I don't know.
I know.
You have to send me the links so I can show her.
Oh, yeah.
I was just thinking, I don't think I've sent it to you.
No, you've shown me, like, on your phone, but I haven't, like, obviously been sent it.
Yeah, I'll send you the email then you can look at it.
Because I'm going to go look at them all.
Because there's, like, five.
And then you can tell me.
Oh, my God.
This is just beyond exciting.
So beyond exciting.
And also I've had ideas
about wedding bridesmaid dresses.
Oh my God.
It has to go with the bad news.
We've got to wait till we see it.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, bye.
Sunny.
So exciting.
Okay, bye guys.
Love you so much.
Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for listening. Love guys. Bye guys. Thank you so much for listening.
Thank you for listening.
Bye.
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That's it for this week, Wednesdays.
But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa?
Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas.
I want to know what happens.
Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you.
We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays.
Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad-free with bonus episodes.
It's pretty amazing.
It's also packed full of Dilemma follow-ups, which we love,
and some of our more personal stories and recommendations.
And it's super easy.
You just listen on your favorite app.
How cool is that?
Amazing.
And all the info is in the episode description and in our Insta bio.