Wednesdays - Ep 56: BFF stealing my thunder

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

Today is an extra special one as we are joined by Love Island queen Shaughna Phillips to help us answer some of your dilemmas. This lady was born to be an Agony Aunt and we discuss body confidence, surviving being ghosted by a work colleague and much more…xShaughna now has a fitness and body confidence app called ‘Be You With Shaughna’ which everyone should go and check out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded. Or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Hey guys, hey Shauna. Hi, you okay? So today guys, we've got very special guests. Shauna.

Shauna Phillips. How are you? I'm good, thank you. I've been waiting to jump on this podcast so thank you so much for having me oh thank you for coming on and she's got a little we're not actually together because um melissa's abroad so it's not making it sound like i'm swanning about doing nothing i've just got back from being abroad so we just got back yeah we're all separated which is sad because normally we'd be having wine together in the studio oh my god that is the dream it's so hot in uk whereabouts are you shauna i'm in south london nice nice nice actually warm it's warm

it's gorgeous i'm in a hoodie and i need to i'm sweltering you know that's really annoying when you're away on holiday and then it gets good in england you're like oh for god's sake i want it to rain home it's so annoying it's so annoying the worst I'm like I want it to be thunderstorms I want it to be freezing yeah the whole lot and it's not actually that warm where you are is it Melissa oopsie now it is today from today it's stunning blue skies today onwards so it's fine oh stop where are you I'm in Mallorca oh my god amazing yeah it's very dreamy very very dreamy also just a quick quick to let everyone know i've got my teeth whitening in so if i sound very lispy that's why it's basically wearing a retainer i'm wearing a retainer with my whitening in i'm

preparing for my boyfriend that's do you know what i actually i've started grinding my teeth at night because i know that i need to be wearing my retainer but i'm just i just don't want to go through that pain again and i'm actually grinding my teeth in like anxious, being anxious over it. Oh yeah, yeah. So I'm jealous of you. Oh no, we grind our teeth anyway. And we, I have to wear my retainer because of braces anyway.

But I wear it because it stops me grinding. So you should just do it. But you know when you have a break and you start again, the pain. I know, it's like getting braces again. But if you leave it too late, then you're going you have a break and you start again, the pain. I know. It's like getting braces again. It's like being kicked in the mouth. But if you leave it too late, then you're going to have traitracks again. It's like the chicken and the egg. Yeah, it's the chicken.

Who do we think gave birth? A chicken or an egg? Neither. I always say Kardashians. What did they answer? I know. She said the chicken because God gave humans and then we gave birth to eggs or whatever yeah but we got an egg i am so jealous that i didn't get that reference because

like i should have oh what do you mean oh the kardashian one yes i'm actually like fuming at myself that i didn't bring that up so good so good what are we thinking about it I haven't seen the most recent love it this the way they filmed it is stunning yeah I haven't watched this last night's one yes and neither I've I've read every article so I basically know the running order yeah yeah I've actually I even you know I just done I saw that so apparently in last night's episode um Chloe admits that she's got back with Tristan oh my god no yeah and then I like went back to see when Courtney and Travis got engaged because then I was like well then his mistress was pregnant at this time like I'm very very involved in this relationship wait hang on a

second I watched an episode last night but I thought it came out every Monday but last night was Wednesday so what are we on? Ep three? Yeah. Four. No. Yeah, three. I've seen ep three. I've seen ep three. It's ep four. Wait, I just watched the one where,

the one before Kim's about to go on SNL. Okay, I've watched the SNL one and I haven't seen the engagement one. I'm watching on Disney+. The engagement one was last night, I think. That's what I haven't seen, the engagement one. So I'm two behind.

That is the... You are two behind, Soph. Sorry, how am I two behind? This is the best news that's what I haven't seen the engagement one yeah so I'm too behind that is the you are too behind so sorry how am I too behind this is the best news that's ever like tonight is going to be the best evening ever for me I need it like live the present I need it three months yeah yeah we're like six months behind what's actually going on I'm kind of like well we know all this it's been in the press I know what are we thinking about Pete and Kim? I love them so hard. I'm kind of liking it. Yeah, I like them now. Again, I go up and down. What I didn't like was I just thought for a second, this seems so unlike her. But now I've really dug a little deeper and I'm like,

this is the real Kim and Kanye held her back and made her too serious. A hundred percent. But I have noticed that Pete has been like Kardashian'd up. He's had a fake tan now. He's got a shape up. Stop. Oh my God, I'm dead. Has he actually? That's too good.

It's not hurting anyone though, is it? Oh, absolutely not. It's way better on the eyes. Way better. Listen, they can Kardashian me up whenever they want. Oh honey, I'd be there in a heartbeat. Give me every facial treatment they have. Everything.

I honestly think they must have laser every single day I'm convinced they must do like they age backwards I know yeah so I actually again done some really intense stalking and Kylie has like this infrared sunbed in her house which just like repairs the body yeah it's like a sunbed but no UV no damaging rays it's just all in front I have been missing out I don't know where I've been hiding but I need all of it

Shauna you can come round to our house and borrow our facial thing yes we really um became bougie we have people that come over

to have sessions in our lights don't we yeah we don't lose it anymore I'm gonna get straight back on that I've been using it didn't bring it with me to Mallorca though right I'm gonna get back on it I'm gonna get straight back on that i've been using it didn't bring it with me to

new yorker though right i'm gonna get back on it i'm gonna get back on it i also i found out some things about the um marilyn monroe dress oh yeah so she the minute she got up the stairs you probably already know that she changed into a replica because she didn't want to wear the dress on the night and then it's rumored that it was like, it didn't go over her bum and that's why she was wearing the thing. Yeah. So was that true? Well, I've seen that as well,

that it didn't do up. And I mean, she's got a big booty, so it would not surprise me. No. I also saw, I saw somewhere as well where she actually didn't wear any body makeup because she couldn't get it on the dress. But have you, have you seen the video

of her walking up the stairs with it? Yeah, because she was in, like, seven-inch heels, because Marilyn Monroe was five foot six. She's five foot two. So she was in fuck-off heels. I imagine. Platforms. Oh, my God.

Platforms. That's why everyone was like, Pete should just let it be her moment, but then also in the same breath, she would have had to have the man. She needed him holding her up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The anxiety,

the anxiety of wearing a five million pound I mean obviously she can afford it if it broke is that how much it's worth who owns that dress it's in the a museum

oh yeah yeah yeah that's incredible they let that go they let her do that that's insane yeah she said

she said to them like last year at the Met like I really want to wear it and they were like I'm ing and aring and then she went tried it on didn't fit her and she was like give me three weeks and lost 16 pounds in three weeks which is really controversial really controversial but a lot of people are saying and I want to hear your opinion on this too Sean I like and I do agree

with them someone who's such a role model and I do see kim's point kim was like i just saw it as a role like an you know yeah yeah you have to lose that to get yeah but she should have when she delivered that information pre-warn people this isn't a healthy thing i don't condone it or whatever but she almost said it in a way that people are sort of arguing was sort of begging it up like being like oh check me out i managed to lose 16 pounds which is obviously so unhealthy and like lots of children and girls and mums and women in general just look up to her and they're gonna think fuck I could never do that or should I try well the thing is and it's I feel like we're just conditioned to to be amazed at that so like when I heard that my first instinct my first thought was how

and then I had to snap myself out and be like no that's absolutely not okay but and I do think that they should be more careful with how they deliver things and they know that that they have tweakments and all stuff like this that we're not like privy to. But they are also a product of their environment as well. Like they are, they've been bashed in the press. They've been called this, they've been called that. That's so true. It's almost, again, the chicken and the egg. Like, do we bash her for saying that?

Or do we kind of feel sympathy for her that she actually did think that was something to brag about the other flip side of it was she then like posted about uh like how she almost binge eats after the met gala because of how strict she's been leading up to it yeah so she has donuts and pizzas and all stuff like that in her hotel room which is obviously everyone's dream but to binge eat and to yo-yo like that that is just that's so bad yeah so and and the fact that I they could literally say that they've been injecting goat's urine into their body and I would look into it I would look into it well this actually like is so interesting for you because you've obviously just launched your body um fitness app and we also with the Wednesdays We Drink Wine community we get a lot of like dilemmas written into us about people who are sort of asking how to feel yeah yeah

especially as summer's coming up and you know we've also been in lockdown for like two years so right yeah and so what what are your thoughts on that? What are your top tips? Do you know what? I think to know that no one is at the finish line, we are all exactly the same. We're all on the same kind of journey to accepting ourselves. You don't get to a certain, or I don't think you get to a certain point and you're like,

I'm amazing. This is amazing. I look perfect. There's nothing I change. It's more about knowing that you are as you are and that's perfect yeah accepting yourself yeah and that's that is difficult because we are literally fed constantly tips on even I was watching this morning today and it was like top tips on how to to lose this for summer and I was thinking we just sit there and we have it on in the background and we don't actually realize that we're listening to it constantly and it's just literally like

confirming to ourselves that oh we need to lose this and we need to lose that so it's more so just realizing that you're absolutely fine how you are if you wanted to change a few things you can but understanding that by changing those things doesn't automatically automatically mean that you're gonna get happiness at the end of it yeah because when you put that much pressure on something you're you're never gonna reach it ever and you're constantly always striving for perfection like yeah and you can and you know it times always change it's like fashion the the idealized vision of perfection especially for women actually to be fair it's also for men and that's really bad i always say that but i know it men also have you know everyone's got a safe have whatever but there's always a new

ideal of perfection you know you used to be skinny then it became to fitness and now it's to have a big bum and a tiny waist like you're never gonna be you're always gonna have to be skinny, then it became to fitness, and now it's to have a big bum and a tiny waist. Like, you're never going to be, you're always going to have to be keeping up with the trend. Yeah. So you've got to just fight, you know, it's easier said than done, though, isn't it? That's what I mean. It is easier said than done,

but the moment we realise that, you're almost, you've almost won because it's like I said about the Kardashians. Like, if we all knew they've had this done, they've had that done, they've had this done. done yeah I feel like the weight would be lifted off our shoulders because we're we then realize that oh they weren't just born like that like they they don't just look like that and you almost realize oh do you know what I'm I am okay I'm absolutely fine but I do try and just I try and be as normal and as myself as I can because I feel like Instagram is such a polished look on everyone's life and I'm guilty of that as well you know I think we all are but

I've definitely tried to start following more people that I enjoy their content rather than I aspire to be yeah they're posting because that is such an important part I so agree and yeah it's often you know if I'm having a really shit day you're not often going to see me like loaning to the camera

because you just I don't want to do that then I only fancy talking when I'm in a good mood when you're feeling your best and you're yeah feeling great and having a good day exactly and you could be comparing yourself to someone who is absolutely falling apart but just hasn't shown it yeah yeah and you you could be sitting there thinking god they've just got it all together I wish I had their hair I wish I had this and they wish that they something. We're all wishing that we had something else.

And then I feel like we lose focus on what we've actually got. Yeah, be grateful for what you've got. I so agree. Do you think Love Island was helpful in, like, getting you to this sort of mindset? The benefit of Love Island and being on Love Island is when you're almost at the height of your publicity, you're not aware of it because you're yeah it's quite nice for sheltering the whole thing yeah and you can if you you've got to try in the first few days but slowly but surely it just becomes your life and you just you you kind

of conform into this is what i've got to do today and you forget that you're recording this show that so many people are going to have opinions on do you know what I think that the best thing for me that come out of Love Island was that when I came out so many people was like you're just like me you're just like one of my mates and if I had come out and everyone was like oh my god you're you're an absolute like nutcase I would have been mortified because I was just being myself. So the fact that I came out and I was liked, it almost gave me permission

to be like, do you know what? You're okay. You're fine. Yeah. And the people that, there will always be people that don't like you

for whatever reason, but that has nothing to do with you. That's their problem. That's a reflection on them yeah but everyone's in top no one has to be my friend everyone's entitled to have to have their own opinions of me and and that's just the way the world works yeah yeah god you're a better woman than me i'm like why don't you like me um it's sad we're not able to drink because what we normally do is we have a wine

and we try it and we rate and taste it but obviously we're not able to i'm surprised you've not got one molested because you're on holiday got my whitening teeth in huh oh yeah what would you be doing king of rose rose a hundred percent probably a little bit of a i was gonna say a minuti or an art is it o or ot I call it ot I'm probably wrong ot ot I think it's ot or no ot because it's double d what what's your drink of choice Shauna I I actually um like a vodka lemonade and lime kind of girl quite clean lovely and I just I'm not i don't like the taste of alcohol i would rather like a sprite or something like that so if i do have to drink i feel like a vodka lemonade and lime right i can enjoy it and i can also drink it and get a little merry yeah the lemonade really covers it up doesn't

it it does which is sometimes not the best look either now you're back at well now you're back in london so What are you drinking? If you're going to go out for dinner tonight. I'm going on the wine. I'm back on the wine. Last Easter. Back on the wine. I was hungover this morning.

Me and my mum had a little bit too much to drink. Tell me, tell us more. You know what it is? I think it's because I'm getting older. The sugar now wakes me up in the middle of the night when I've had a lot of wine so i'm like i wake up in the middle of the night like god i feel awful and i'm like i can't get back to sleep why am i waking why am i waking up it's horrible i know how i should you join give me the gas and not that much so me and mom had two glasses of wine before we left the house then we went for dinner then me and my mom and dad we

all shared a bottle and then after that we were we were like, oh, not quite done yet, so we had an extra glass each, and I think it was that one extra glass, not needed, tips over the edge, and me and mum, mum goes to feel sick, she walked me across the street this morning,

she was like, I feel awful, she's like, I feel a bit sick as well, so it was that extra glass, we just didn't need the extra glass. Yeah, it's always the extra glass.

I don't like drinking, because I feel like, as you get older, the hangovers are just so much more intense. And I will need to drink on a Friday to be okay for the Monday. Because if I drink on the Saturday, that whole week's a write off. Do you mind me asking how old you are, Shona? I was 28 about two weeks ago. Okay, so you're like, I'm 27.

I thought you were younger. I've had my Botox done not two weeks ago. Okay, so you're like, I'm 27. I thought you were young. I've had my Botox done not that long ago. Oh, well, it's doing wonders because you look fab. Thank you. I always say to Melissa, I'm like, honestly, I hit 27 and something went wrong with the hangovers. And Melissa kept saying to me, I don't get anything. And you're already getting them now. It's not even the hangover.

It's the waking up in the middle of the night. That's all I get too. There's tiredness and then you have a headache. Yeah. I went to a brunch once and I think we ended at like, say, eight o'clock. So I was starting a new job on the Monday. This was the brunch on the Sunday. Oh gosh.

And I thought, but I thought it's a brunch. Oh yeah, easy. You'll be in and out. I'll get home at a fine time. I'll have like a 12 hour sleep. I got home at eight and I think I was getting drunker by the hours. Like every hour went past. I was getting drunker.

And I remember it was about six o'clock in the morning. My alarm went off. I was crying on the bottom of the floor in the shower, just rocking with my mum shouting at me going, you have to run. And I was thinking, I can't, gonna die i might die that was a bad day suck i've only had a couple that are just horrendous but when they're bad you're like i genuinely can't even open my eyes because it hurts to open my eyes yeah and i'm like i will never drink again i'm like i'm

and you get to that night and you're like oh quite fancy a glass of wine, pour me a glass of red taking it too far once again yeah well at least we're all in the same boat Shauna what we also do is we I don't know if you know but we get dilemmas written into us and then we sort of give our advice, we've got three

dilemmas here which we'd love to hear your advice on too so the first dilemma is i was talking to someone from from work for a while so fun and flirty he stops talking how should i now act at work as if nothing happens stay cool speak don't speak help why is he suddenly stopped why do people do the ghosting thing like why this is so unacceptable yeah and then the moment you like bring it up and they're like oh what you want about like it weren't anything serious and then such a gaslighting situation it's difficult because I feel like part of me would want to literally scream at them and be like why did you do that

but then the other half of me just literally be as blase as they are because they will be expecting and I always expect the woman to be dramatic whereas if you just completely pretend they're not even there it will literally mindfuck them so hard so agree yes and also technically if I'm trying to flip this around because I've had it before i've been messaging someone and i'm like you know what don't fancy messaging you again nass i'm gonna stop i don't yeah but also i'm also like i don't actually owe you an explanation because we're not boyfriend girlfriend we haven't really dated yeah you know what am i going to say oh by the way i don't fancy

you it's always worse no yeah so i'm kind of like i just actually if actually nothing nothing's happened and if somehow it comes up in conversation, be like, oh, it's fine. Be like, relax, chill. Like, we were literally just chatting. Like, I don't care. Exactly. And you don't know his situation. Like, you guys hadn't even kissed.

You were just being flirty. And imagine he went out with the boys. He kissed a girl. He then, they started dating. He really likes her. Like, boom, he's not going to talk to you again. That's as big as it's going to get. So for you, you can't, hate to say it, but you can't do anything but just that cool precisely yeah and

it's it's a bit rubbish i mean if you like them and then they just decide they didn't like you it is a bit rubbish but it saved you heartache in the long run totally if it wasn't it happened now than further down the line and then it's yeah and then it'd be actually really upsetting you will be fine trust me you'll get another guy that loves you kiss him that's or sleep with him and that's where most of the feelings really there you go come into play i always feel yeah so lucky escape fanduel casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m with your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute?

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Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Second dilemma. How do I try and improve my self-confidence when I feel like all the boys always fancy my mate instead of me? Oh my god, that's so... That is a bit rubbish.

I actually kind of feel like we've all been there and some way yeah right we've all been a hundred percent a hundred percent I'm trying to think how I was younger I remember I really fancied this boy and I could just tell that he really fancied my mate oh and yeah and it was annoying I think there was a lot of I mean this was around the time where like Ray J One Wish was like a lot of, I mean, this was around the time where, like, Rojo, One Wish was, like, a big song. And I would just, like, listen to it while I was in bed. Like, why doesn't he love me? But, again, it's the same thing.

Do you know what? If these boys aren't paying your attention, they're not worth your attention. Exactly. You've got to just accept it, move on, be like, right, okay, that's not for me then. And just move on. And also, I think it's important not to get um resentful towards your friends because that happens quite a lot when it's like you fancy someone they end up fancying your mate and then you just can't help it but

kind of fucking hate your friend like it's yeah yeah jealousy is like real we can't we can't help it we all have it I mean I had an incident earlier today and i was like on the phone i was like they're still taking it was like i'm livid for you no but it's so true but we've all we all have that and you've got to really just bring yourself back down to like and like take yourself out of the scenario and be like that's really stupid like look at it from an outside perspective i can't think like that obviously it's not my friend's fault that they fancy him yeah and just try and get over it your your friend being pretty doesn't make you any less pretty exactly oh my god yeah and also like what i had it what my best friend she's still one of my best friends um but she was like so but like i hit puberty hard i had such on my forehead. I plucked every single eyebrow out of my hair.

Like, I'm not joking. I had just one hair across each eyebrow. And my mum was like literally hiding the tweezers around my house. And I was like, where are they? Oh my God. And I had train tracks. And they just didn't suit me. I know that everyone kind of has to wear them.

But obviously you don't feel your best when you've got them on. Yeah. And I remember all the boys and i'd also had no boobs no hips nada i was so like childlike and my friend had like such a waist so curvy gorgeous no spots and uh all the boys you said she's come on holiday with me and all the boys would just fancy her and do you know what i i remember feeling a bit annoyed about it at sometimes like a bit sad probably at the time. It's natural, yeah. But we just had such a laugh, me and her.

Like, do you know what you mean? Take the pressure off the boys. So I feel like when you're in that stage, I don't know how old you are, but there's definitely a certain period in your life where I was just so boy-focused. Obsessed with it, yeah. Obsessed.

And it's like, who fancies me? If they didn't, my whole world would be over. Exactly. And I used to go away and like everyone would fancy her her but I still had the funnest time because we just had so much fun together yeah so like yeah don't take the focus off him and as soon as you probably stop thinking about it the boys will probably fancy you a hundred percent and I also feel like as well I I used to I was never allowed like MSN, I was never allowed to wear makeup. I wasn't allowed to shave my legs or anything like that.

And my friend was allowed to do it all. God, I was allowed to do it all. My mum walked in once and I was trying to wax my legs with duct tape because I was so hairy. Oh, I was allowed to wax. My mum used to get me to take me to get waxed, but I wasn't allowed MSN or anything like that. So I was very out of that loop. Oh, I had it all. Yeah.

So no, I wasn't allowed MSN or anything like that so I was very out of that loop oh I had it all yeah so no I wasn't allowed it and my friend did and my friend used to talk to all of the boys and again I used to be like I'm missing out getting those men I wish I knew like they're like stay away from them as much as you can because they there is so much time for boy drama like your 20s is going to be filled with the boy drama yeah completely and I'm I'm going to like 100% do the same for my daughter like I'm going to whisper in her ear every night like stay away from boys stay away from boys because there is just so much time for them like there really is your teens are worrying about who fancies you. But it's only, it is only natural. And I feel like we're actually lucky that we escaped the whole Instagram thing when we were younger.

Imagine us. So lucky. So lucky. Or TikTok. TikTok, the whole thing. I honestly, I'm like, I'm so grateful that we missed that. I really worry about my kids if I have kids, hopefully. You know, growing up. With with all that it's just so it's

just so they're just not gonna they're not gonna have anything but they'll don't you think they'll find it or rebel then if you're so strict well do you know what saying that so I wasn't allowed MSN but I did have it but because I knew I wasn't allowed it I was just instinctively more cautious yeah yeah yeah so cautious so cool because you just yeah you knew it was like prohibited yeah yeah and I also feel like I was like my mum and dad would always actually say to me like do not talk to strangers if you talk to strangers like you'll be taken away and we'll never see you again so I was always very like safe and sensible with it yeah you're really lucky because you sometimes hear people

go the other way and they want to rebalance like yeah I don't think I would either I was like oh comfort in my own home thank you very much yeah and I think also you when your parents are strict they can be they can be strict but fair so even when I was younger I I instinctively had respect for my parents even though at the time I thought they was ruining my life because I'm not allowed MSN and I'm not allowed to pass a certain distance I still never done it because I I must have just had that respect for them same yeah I was exactly the same yeah and so as I got older I would always if I was in a club or anything I would just know that my mum so as I got older, I would always, if I was in a club or anything, I would just know that my mum is probably, like, at home worried.

Yeah, same. I would text and say, I'm okay, or I'm leaving now, I'm getting home now. So I think that there is definitely a balance between, like, rebellion and respecting. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. It's all about balance, isn't it? Yeah. God, being a parent is bloody hard. I feel like I've had a taster of it because of the dogs. Oh, they're so sweet.

But I feel like it's also put motherhood back five years. Really? Oh, 100%. Really, was it full on having those little pooches? Completely. So we got them on the same day as well so their bunny is just two in one yeah bunny is two weeks older than biggie we got them on the same day and they're they weren't brother and sister then so they're not real brother and sister they're only brother and sister they're currently fighting there we go oh yeah so sweet well they

are but bunny is a little madam when it comes to biggie she is so vish with him no um but i'm convinced that if they're not in my care they're gonna choke on something or someone's not gonna look after them yeah yeah and yeah so i i only fear how i'm going to be after them the same way I can look after them yeah and yeah so I I only fear how I'm going to be as a mum because this is a lot but my mum always used to say that she's she wishes she had a dog before she had kids because it really does teach you like obviously it's not the same I'm not comparing it but it does teach you like that sense of responsibility of like another living thing that you're like oh my god absolutely right dilemma three i fancy my guy friend hi girls love the potty you make my wednesday i'm always laughing along at work thank you so my dilemma is that i really fancy my guy friend

the problem is isn't that i fancy him is that my other friends fancied him first oh yeah shit she basically was trying to sleep with him and he has kissed and has kissed him and done stuff isn't that I fancy him, it's that my other friends fancied him first. Uh-oh. Yeah, shit. She basically was trying to sleep with him and he has kissed, and has kissed him and done stuff with him but never slept with him. It was quite clear

to other people in the group that he wasn't feeling it and it only happened because they were drunk. Oh, no. Oh, God. Fast forward to a couple months and more

and we have hung out more and more and I am attracted to him. Not to mention, when we got drunk, we tend to talk about sex a lot and he's even shown me naked pics of him. Sorry, I beg your pardon.

You're raunchy. Let's just say he is packing heat, if you know what I mean. I'm dead. Oh my God. Why is he? No wonder he's showing you photos of himself naked then. I've actually lost count of how many red flags I've heard.

Yeah, so have I. So have I. He isn't overly flirty, but he is very nice and very confident. So I'm not sure if he's even looking at me like that. He has been seeing someone for a couple of months and only ended things last week. We have just booked a holiday together. So in a few months, we'll be sharing a villa for a week and most likely be drinking the whole time. I'm worried something will happen and my friend will hate me, but I don't want to say to her in case it's nothing, and he doesn't even see me like that,

and she gets mad. Right, okay. What do I do? Should I not bother to put him out of, should I not bother and put him out of my mind? Should I say to my friend that I fancy him, or should I just wait and see what happens on holiday? Oh my God, I just.

I think you have to, if you're feeling the way you're feeling, it's hard to ignore it. I think you've just got to wait, see how way you're feeling, it's hard to ignore it. I think you've just got to wait, see how it goes. But I just have a feeling about this guy. I just, the fact he's getting out his dick and showing you that. And saying like, I know it's inappropriate, but I really like you. Like, he's just a player.

Yeah, he's a player. And he's also been seeing someone. I think he's literally in love with himself. Yes, baby. That's why he's showing you the pictures because he just loves himself so much he would eat himself with his chocolate and i also feel like with girls i've definitely been there you almost want what you can't have so that's probably half of the attraction so true and i mean by the sound of, she is hoping that they are drunk on holiday and something does happen.

But I feel like, and he doesn't sound like he'd stop it. Yeah, exactly. He's done it with your friend and didn't even like her. But I just think you need to, one, value your friendship with your friend more. But also, look at the way he treated your friend. Like, that is not how you want to be treated in a relationship. And he doesn't sound like, he doesn't sound like he's into you he doesn't otherwise he would have like put a move into it or said something yeah it sounds like he knows that you fancy him because

he's so arrogant and he's been like talking about sex to get a kick out of it for himself showing you pictures of his dick and his naked body because he just fucking loves himself and loves seeing making you sort of squirm it's not in a sexual way but you probably are you know what i mean i think the best advice is to listen to this and now cringe out the thought that he even showed you a dick pic there is so many ics that we've covered yeah the fact that he has pictures of himself naked on his phone just ready to i know it's kind of illegal oh my god it's just so repulsive he is in love with himself and i think just leave that there yeah i think like right you heard it from shauna like leave it there just put it in a box and say no no no but yeah try and eat yourself out by him but i

feel like you've got it almost i just feel like if you like him you like him you're gonna do what you want but my advice is he's he's in there's red flags flagging up everywhere everywhere like hey and i guarantee the moment she stops giving him attention yeah i know what you mean she um she he'll go mental and he'll be like putting on her like nothing else and you won't probably be able to resist but that's all part of the roller coaster but i don't think he's the one if that if you get my drift absolutely not like if you want to scratch that itch scratch it but an itch is an itch for a reason i couldn't have put it better if i tried yeah can we have a follow-up on this because i kind of know what happens on this holiday like this sounds juicy yeah same if you do sleep with him god please do tell us because don't

worry i definitely probably would have done the same thing like i never listened to my own advice we've all had that like it's annoying instant instinct within us to follow like one of those bad boys it's really difficult to resist but please wear protection because he sounds like a stray cat. Oh, no. Protect yourself. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Right. That is the end of our dilemmas. Thanks so much for helping us answer them, Shauna.

I love dilemmas. They're the best, aren't they? You get a real insight into somebody's life and you feel very connected. we also do a not so single diaries and we believe you've just become in a relationship so no so yeah I'm in a relationship I've been in a relationship for a while but I just keep it private because I just feel like I would literally be that person that would get like a message from some random person that could be completely fabricated and it would ruin my life like and that I don't ever go into my message requests but I probably get hundreds anyway that are just horrible so yeah I just I tend to I tend just to keep it private and also I mean I really hope we

go the distance but then if we do break, I don't have to delete anything. And you don't have to deal with that like, oh, God, there's an article about it now. Or like people asking questions. It's just beyond annoying, isn't it? Exactly. You don't have to do a statement and all of that. So, yeah, private life is a happy life. How long have you been dating?

I would say like a year and a half okay wow oh wow really long okay well you'll definitely have a not so single um diary then basically do you want to explain what it is Melissa yeah so we basically just discussed like because I'm in quite a new relationship it's only been like five six months we're kind of just just touching on topics that are quite awkward like along the way so yeah for example I'll start so I had a message from a random girl how funny you're about to say all that you were just talking about this you want to random girl my dms messages me right this is it hey I know you don't know who I am but I thought if it was the reverse I'd want to know

I'm so sorry to have to tell you about this to tell you but was in Avalon last night and saw your boyfriend get with a girl multiple times I'm so sorry if you if I've got this wrong I'm 99% sure it was him and thought you deserve to know what's Avalon I don't know anyway he was with me the night that she's talking about last night because we were flying to New York with each other the next day so I was with him the night that she's talking about last night because we were flying to new york with each other the next day so i was with him the whole of sunday the whole of sunday night and then we went to new york together on monday morning so obviously it's like a complete lie and i have had a couple other random things like this as well where i've been like i was with him so that's obviously impossible so that is so but what's even more bizarre i have mutual friends with this person and he has mutual friends does he know this person kind of like he has mutual friends

with her or knows someone that knows her so he's like what the hell is she saying it why doesn't he message her i know he was almost like you should just reply but i was like no he cares also she does say not sure if it's him sorry if i'm wrong i'm 99 certain so it's kind of like i mean one percent what are you trying to say that is so fishy and weird. And also, if I weren't 100% sure... Why would you message somebody? I'd keep my mouth shut. I'd just keep my mouth shut and I'd keep it moving. Yeah.

That is... Do you know what? I actually think I do have, like, slight PTSD because in, like, a previous relationship where I was being cheated on, I got messaged by a fake Instagram, a fake Facebook on Valentine's Day from the girl he was cheating on me with. That's crazy. Yeah.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. But because it was such a fake, it was so obviously like a fake account, I was just like, I don't know what to do with this information. Like, where do I go with this and then a month later she messaged me off her real account and then that's how it all come out oh shiz yeah so I feel like I would literally just get one message that could be so fake like yours like you know it's physically impossible spiral out of control on your brain completely completely so but as soon as the message starts hi like just to let you know my stomach would literally fall out of my butt I know hi I thought you deserved to know or hi if I was in your position you're like oh for fuck's sake here we go yeah yeah so I complete

that that is so rubbish like why do that it's also quite funny as well because it's obviously so like untrue it's like what if what this person doing but yeah so that that's so getting that popping up was quite pleasant but also like I obviously didn't care but I saved it like oh this can be my Wednesdays we drink wine I'm a little yeah content content good content yeah thanks for the content um so do you have any like niggles that have happened or at the beginning of your relationship was there anything funny like I remember at the very beginning he's so in his family's house we live with each other now but in the beginning when I used to stay at his house but but before I'd like had the full-on meet and greet with the family his parents toilet he's so his house is like three levels his bedroom was at the top and the toilet was in the second floor.

So you had to go downstairs and walk past the opening of the living room to go to the toilet. And I would literally give myself a bellyache, even just for a wee, like just because I didn't want to walk past and be like, oh God, no. So awkward. So awkward. And he used to be like, just go to the toilet. I'm like, no, I didn't want to walk past and be like, hi. Oh, God. No. So awkward.

So awkward. And he used to be like, just go to the toilet. I'm like, no, I can't. I can't. What is it about us girls and going to the toilet? I know what you mean about even for a wee, you're like, I'd rather just hold it than go. Yeah, I know.

I know, because I almost overthink it. I'm like, they're going to think I'm doing a poo, even if I'm just doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh, my God, I've taken so long doing a wee, they're going to think I'm doing a poo. Yeah, I'm like, oh, my God. You almost want to go out on the loo and be like, by the I've taken so long doing a wig they're gonna think I'm doing a poo you almost want to go you almost want to go

out on the loom and be like by the way I haven't done a poo yeah and then and then also like if you don't know the lock situation

and what if someone walks in and you're just there oh that's happened to me that's what I mean naked in the bathroom by a sibling lovely oh my god

I actually think I actually think and I've got a brother I would rather a sibling than like a a parent yeah oh 100% a father-in-law or a mother-in-law oh my a brother i would rather a sibling than like a parent yeah 100% father-in-law or a mother-in-law oh my god yeah yeah yeah yeah um that is too funny we've all

it's the loo isn't it really it really bloody loo it's a real controversial topic and also we shouldn't be ashamed of it like my friend um one of my good friends ali she hates it when boys are like girls don't shit she's like don't why why would you say that like don't say that don't be one of those boys it's so annoying like why is it fine for a guy to go they like almost boast about it and then we've got to be so timid and like tiptoe around the subject it's like actually really unfair yeah i'm gonna start being like need a big dump jamie do you know what don't you say anything about it. Do you know what? I try to like... Dropping the kids off.

Oh, no. No, I find it my duty in life to try and correct all of like the unconscious misogyny that boys just have. Yeah. And like, he would literally just be sitting watching telly and I'd be like, oh, that was misogynistic of you. So like the other day I said to him,

oh, can you just throw can you throw me up a tampon he was like oh and i was like what is there a problem that i need a tampon is there a problem that i have a period is that is that a problem for you yeah so i've definitely like when i was younger i used to think oh that's like feminists like what on earth now every moment i'm like i have ovaries okay i have an opinion yeah bitch please don't even start complaining about your feet I think it I think it was the handmaid's towel you know but like literally one episode deep the handmaid's towel and I literally wanted to like start a rebellion Melissa I told you to put it so good it's pretty it's pretty deep I kind of like this track on

series three I was like this is getting where she like stabs the guy spoiler alert yeah i was like oh my god come on now i need it i need to take come up for air with this yeah no it's definitely it will definitely make you start thinking women have been wronged like it will just make you just want to fight everyone yeah we need to just stick together us women we're doing right speaking of anything bride or bridezilla this week what's she been um bride we haven't really done much to be fair it's only been a couple days since i last spoke to you and did a pod so i'm going to see my venue on monday so fingers crossed that will be really nice and then i can

report and let you guys know so exciting that's very adult-y isn't it yeah well i think if i if me and my boyfriend get married we will literally we was actually talking about it we was on a holiday recently and i was like the thought of doing a first dance with you makes me want to just crumble i so agree i can't imagine doing a first dance with anyone no you and jamie doing that uh i mean i don't know maybe it'll be like woo come in i mean jamie will probably come down like lycra and be like yeah with this the strictly come dancing theme tune so let's just pray pray that doesn't happen no i don't know whether i will um but shauna we probably kept you too long so we will let you go now back to your little dog

they have been barking at each other in the garden like 20 minutes i'm just gonna ignore it i'm gonna ignore it we love it we love it it makes me feel like i've got two puppies over here anytime honestly anytime you need them yeah a babysitter just chuck them away thank you for having me thank you so much it's been so great i don't thank you i love these dilemmas so give me some more yeah we'll send them your way bye guys We'll be right back. In an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca.

Please play responsibly. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But, God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas I want to know what happens well then tinies we have got some news for you we have launched a premium version of Wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is

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