Wednesdays - Ep 63: His Pillow talk is TOO much!

Episode Date: June 28, 2022

Welcome back huns! Today we are drinking some ice-cold coronas in the sun and we are discussing the rogue names you’ve been called in the bedroom- eeek! Corona Rating: 10/10! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either, and we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts at anything. In fact, we just chatted all the shit, so... And we love giving you guys advice, but as we said... We love giving you guys advice.

Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Hello everyone. We're drinking Corona. Why are they like got weird things? Branding on them. In 2008, Jason was an artist without a canvas until he discovered his sculpture

could restore coral reefs. How cute. Yeah, we fancied a Corona because it's like 85 degrees outside. It's boiling and we have water so because there's a refreshing you know they say if you like are really dehydrated or you have like sunstroke and you don't have diarrhea like they say you have a beer it has stuff in it i'm not making it up it's really good for like rehydrate doing my mom always says that it's an alcohol um an alcohol cure a hangover cure half a lager it's because it does stuff like rehydrate

there's something in it do you really think guys I'm telling the truth honestly I'm a connoisseur at this stuff trust me I love beers I just don't know

where this has come from I've always loved them I stopped because I would drink you'd have to drink so much of it to get as drunk and then I'm really bloated

and I know I'm not a binge drinker but if I'm out and everyone's drinking everyone's so hammered with the rosier and I'm like oh gosh I'm drinking so much beer but I'm still bloated and I know I'm not a binge drinker, but if I'm out and everyone's drinking, everyone's so hammered with the rosy and I'm like, oh gosh, I'm drinking so much beer, but I'm still not as tiddled as you.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and it is full of gluten. But anyway, guys, it's been a while. It has been a while. I think that's because last week you weren't feeling too great, so we... That wasn't last week. Oh my God.

All my days have all mushed up. All my days have muddled into one. I don't know. It's because you've been away and I haven't seen you in ages, that's why. Oh yeah, I was in Barcelona. I also feel like it's August. I think the heat's really thrown me off.

Oh, the heat has thrown me off. And I'm getting like this bitch who ever get it at the end of the summer where you're like, uh, summer's over, summer's over. No, stop. We're not even in July yet. I know, but I've been getting that recently.

I keep saying to J.P., I'm like, well, we like on a Tuesday and I'm like, if someone invites us for dinner, I'm like, we have to go because summer's nearly over. I know what you mean. We need to make the most of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, no, we like on a Tuesday. And I'm like, if someone invites us for dinner, I'm like, we have to go because summer's nearly over. I know what you mean. We need to make the most of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's like, no, we don't. You don't want to look back and have any regrets. I'm not going out for dinner. I do really, really am regretting not going to the restaurant. Are you going out for dinner tonight? I'm going to ask him, but he'll probably say no. He's really boring. Let me tell you that one.

Should I go? Should we go? Can we all go? It's tapes there. No. Oh, the three of us. Yeah. Why don't you come to mine?

We'll go look at the house. I'll be okay. We're on a podcast on a podcast i've got a hair appointment i'll come after my hair starting what time am i and then dinner i don't i'll only be like half an hour lovely all right then all right um guys i've got exciting news today we're gonna well i'm actually gonna go look at a house viewing so we've both been doing that haven't we yeah do you want to show me I haven't exchanged yet so I can't get all crazy crazy oh I thought you had it okay we mustn't

we mustn't gotta wait for that to happen okay right oh I have a little story to tell you are we gonna go into that we've got to kick off on this story

just because it's really funny okay right so this is one of my really funny friends you don't know her no she wants it to be anonymous so basically she went for her like

smear or her pap smear or whatever you know you every whatever she went for scd or no just like you go for a smear test don't you like every five years or something pap smear is yeah yeah whatever she's going for a normal smear and by the time she had got there she'd had this like one night stand or like had hooked up this guy a couple times anyway by the time she was there she had somehow convinced herself in this whole appointment that she'd got an sti which she wasn't worried about before but when she was in this appointment so she was asking the similar these questions she's like can you just test me every sti and the woman was like no um you need to go to the clinic like five minutes down the road she was like right okay so finished up having her smear panics so much so from the time she's at her

smear test to go driving to this clinic she's convinced herself that she's got aids right oh god this is a real thing yeah yeah panics panics panics parks in the disabled spot she panics so much runs up to the clinic door is banging on the door like let me in let me in let me in the lovely nurse comes out they take they see her like quite quite quickly and she's like panicking so much she's like who do i think i am parking in the disabled space like i was panicking so much she thought she was dying crazy anyway this is quite funny because they sit her down and she's in this like stress and they're like right okay so what type of sex have you been having and she goes she's missionary doggy like in a

position like no no no no no like vaginal anal like oral she's like then it's like yeah okay right vaginal whatever and they're like have you had sex with anyone from like a high-risk country she goes yeah yeah whale she's this one welsh guy she's so freaked out and she was like they were honestly laughing at her like go home it's the way she was like yeah yeah doggy um missionary i actually do think when i've had like past that i've said the same thing because when you panic and they ask you a question you just it's cool so i like that's what i would say it wouldn't be like vaginal oral i know yeah who says yeah yeah vaginal strictly vaginal sex who says that i don't really understand what the question's like quite a weird question it's really vague it should be like have you been like have you been doing vaginal sex or anal or oral that's

the question they should ask not what type of sex have you been having oh you know a bit of doggy um reverse cowgirl yeah yeah all of them all the the best ones. Also, high-risk whales. It's too much. What on earth? I think thinking you've got ASA is a real, like, freak-out thing for loads of people. Yeah. I know so many people who can make... Especially if you have unprotected sex and you're suddenly like,

oh, my God, there actually might be something really wrong with me. I don't know. Yeah, I think just, like, there's a massive... Loads of people have health anxiety. So, you went intro to the emails well I've just given a story you need to do something so so it's just this mic I never knew where to put the phone gosh you're such a rookie at the podcast what are you on about you're in a way more comfy seat than me I've got my feet up yeah I never am I can't do that what do I do like it's

yeah yeah anyway we put a poll out on our social media basically saying whether you guys checked someone's social media before a date and so many of you were like well most people

said yes but then there was a couple people that were like no you wanted the mystery yeah yeah yeah but we did

I did oh obviously and we got an email from one of you guys and it's just so funny so listen to this I once dated a guy

and things were going well until we added each other on instagram intrigued to find out more about him i checked who he is following as this can give you a good idea of what who they like etc so agree i was expecting to see some sports people maybe some design accounts food etc he followed in total around 400 people of which i would say about 80 percent were bikini clad women instaa porn accounts with X rated pics and videos. They were barely any friends that he followed. Immediately.

I got the egg and was honest with him. And he said that he never looked at them pretty hard when it would be the majority of your feed. It was pretty clear that he was using his Instagram as some kind of wank wank. Oh, so glad I checked and I never got over the ick and had to call it off. That is disgusting but thank god for social media in that

respect because then you didn't waste your time. Don't you always see like there are certain like boys who like every single single girl's photos and I'm just like give it a rest. That is hilarious and that has just saved you a world of drama. I'm not going to lie. These bits do make you burp. They do. It's fizzy. But like champagne.

Do you have champagne? Yes, if you drink loads of it. Beer is the worst. Champagne makes you pissed, I've realised. This is going down a treat, though. Yeah, it is delicious. It's like the most delicious thing I've ever drank. I used to drink Carina all the time with my ex-boyfriend, Zolly Buck.

I used to go out to the pub and just drink Carina. Sweet, chilled, charred. I think I was ever drank. I used to drink Corona all the time with my ex-boyfriend, Zolly Buck. I used to go out to the pub and just drink Corona. Sweet, chilled, childish. No, it was just like quite a childish, not childish, but we used to just go to the pub and have little snacks, like little bar snaps and have Corona. How sweet was that? That is so sweet. Bar snaps with pork scratchings.

I went to work with you the other night and someone gave me a port scratching i was like no no no last from the past i know it was like on the river god that sounds quite lovely where was it was by sam's river cafe and they brought out some port scratching champagne i actually turned it down because it kind of made me feel a bit sick at the time yeah yeah go on then do you want to write people have been writing in with rogue names they've been called in the bedroom after one of alice has told us about the moo story remember that one yeah that's too good right okay right daddy's good little princess vomit in my mouth god these are just atrocious daddy's good why good i don't daddy's little princess is wrong enough, but daddy's good little princess.

No, no, no. My ex, when I was 18, asked me to call him big daddy dot, dot, dot. He was five foot seven. We split up the next day. That is so savage. Mummy. Oh my God, daughter.

No, no. What is going on? Mummy's really upsetting. Imagine. Toby being like daughter. No, no. What is going on? Mummy's really upsetting. Imagine Toby being like this. Yes, mummy. If Jamie went, yes, mummy, I would literally punch him. I'd punch him. My fists would punch him.

I don't know. I'm going to come, darling. You boss? What? Are you fucking calling me a boss? Guys, these are out of control. I can't stop this. Are you going forever? There's a few mummiesmies there's loads of people that have written mummy that this is

oh my god mid-sex someone said to her i'll never hurt you like your ex did she was like what that's just that princess no the mummy thing's really upsetting me dirty little slut seems to be quite a um popular one and mama bear sorry yeah mama bear oh my god someone forgot it tried to get it and got it wrong wait wait yeah go on janet yeah janet oh my god said the name and she was like no someone else called the miss which was obviously like a teacher fetish people so no no way too many people are saying mummy yeah you boys need help right i can't mummy's beyond that for me is the killer mummy's like my friend got called a dirty dog once whilst in doggy us rgc what's that group chat name is now for dirty dogs that's like

funny oh my god not a name but a guy he had just met her and he whispered her let me put a baby in you guys boys you need better chat for a start and you need better chat in the bedroom you boys make me sick you really do I wonder if girls do this. I just don't imagine girls are just too perfect. Apparently girls are really loud in bed. Like, really vocal. Theatrical. We should actually do a thing and see if any of our boys...

Yeah, yeah, we need the boys to just talk to us about this. Yeah, we need, because I'd be fascinated at that. We should move on to our dilemmas. Okay, right, dilemma one. I have been friends with one of my best friends since school we are now 25 she doesn't have many other friends after breaking up with her boyfriend last year all her friends were his friends and their girlfriends that happens quite a lot in friendship groups after the breakup i invited her out all the time to

keep her busy and help her keep her mind off of the breakup but since but she's since started latching onto my friends slash wanting to come to do everything at home everything i do and while i haven't minded because i feel she needed it but it's now getting really annoying i'm starting to not enjoy her company anymore i feel so bad even writing this message but wanted to know if you thought this was normal or if you've ever been through this i can you know i haven't been through this i can so relate as an i can just i can imagine it happening can you i don't think you can be annoyed at her for it though like what can you do like can you stop being friends with my friends i would annoy me too it would annoy me like fair enough come if you're invited but don't like

clamber into the friend anyone who latches is just a bit of a latch right a leech what's it called like a sucker like a leech like they just put equally like

she's just been broken up with then we like what if but I will say on the other foot if she was writing and being like what should I do

I don't have many friends we'd be like well just put yourself out there so what I will say is the mistake that a lot of people make girls and boys

when they're in relationships they alienate themselves and they just latch onto that friendship group and they don't keep their own friends which is such a mistake yeah don't do that like why would you remove yourself from all of your friendship group and then just hang out with your boyfriend and then oh yeah when they when you do break up your friends are kind of like well you didn't make an effort with us you just stay with your boyfriend i find it so weird when people make friends with just their boyfriends friends i find it so weird i also find it very strange when people just drop friends and make new friends really quick yeah yeah really quickly so do i they're like rabbits or what yeah yeah um but i don't think that's like fair enough that's just might be the way some people are bred. Yeah, some people socialise differently.

So, you know, I totally feel you. And you know what? I think if you're not doing it, if she hasn't been invited, she hasn't been invited. Like, she doesn't have to know you're doing it. Do you know what I mean? Like, she can't flipping message you every, like, every time you're out, she messages,

like, what are you doing today? What are you doing today? Like, oh, just seeing the girls. Should girls should we do something tomorrow yeah she's got to get the hit she can't be latching on yeah you can't be latching on and you can't to see too much of somebody can be annoying if you like if you're not enjoying her company anymore that's going to lead to an unhealthy relationship so you've got to just be i also just think like that would annoy me it would annoy me but then I kind of

feel bad for the girl because I'm like poor girl doesn't like she's just been a broken up and got no pals like she does but she can't

like are we being a bitch no you can't latch on that much though that's just that's like unfair you've got to just take the hint you've got to just

be wanted like she's put herself out there she's making friends now like draw back a bit and let them want you a bit more don't like force it and be so like needy do you know what as a friend though i probably would just let her latch i actually would i would annoy me too but i'd swallow my pride and just let her latch because what are you gonna do yeah but like that's like that's okay right that means everything that you do with bella and christy and

whatever i have to be there everything you do with jamie's girlfriends i have to be no no no but if you know what i mean no no but would that's what i it's sort of like everything they do she's got to be there it would just be so annoying no you can't do that that you know sometimes you can't be so dependent on something no exactly but what she meant to do just say piss off i think you just sort of accept like she is just a lachy needy person and like hopefully she'll get the hint at some point when she's invited

she's invited when she's not she's not. I'm just thinking what she's meant to do to her friend be like bitch please can you

take a step back. No, I think just I think just like understand that it's okay to be annoyed and be like you know what like I don't actually have to

invite you to everything. Just don't feel the need to do it. You're not responsible for her. Exactly because that will make you like almost not resent maybe resent her and then your relationship won't be as good, which you don't want.

You will just find her so annoying. Yeah, you need the quality time, not the quantity. Best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only.

Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Yeah. Dilemma two.

I have a best friend's wedding dilemma. Okay. My best friend has booked her wedding day 6th of June, 2024. This is kind of a giveaway of who it might be. However, me and my boyfriend for the last two years have been saying we want to travel to South America for nine months and 2024 is the year that best suits us to go. No no I'm afraid you have to go to your friend's wedding however I know I'm going to be asked to be the bridesmaid I'm an only and I'm her only friend

bridesmaid and I just don't know how to break the news to her that I might not be there no I'm sorry no no you have to go to the wedding you have to go to the wedding I briefly mentioned it to her not so long ago she's not even booked South Africa America I briefly mentioned it to her not so long ago she's not even booked south africa america i briefly mentioned it to her not so long ago and her reaction was well you best be at my wedding i freaked out and changed the subject please please please how do i break this to her no no we're breaking it to you you've got to go to the wedding i don't want to hurt her and obviously i'd love to be there but i've been speaking about these travel lands for a while now so i'm not sure if it'll come as a shock to her or not. If you've not,

first, it doesn't sound like you've booked it. It sounds like you're just planning that 2024's your year. Plan around it. Like, that's your best friend. Fair enough. You know what? If you were a guest and you weren't that close,

a whole different story. But if you're best friends and you're a bridesmaid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get traveling's really important. I get that's amazing you want to travel and South America's like you know and I'm sure that you've saved up and planned it all properly but that's your best friend like she's only going to get married once you should actually really kind of want to be there for that you've got to make that work I think worth making it work around that wedding I agree she's given you the date as well like she's literally given you the 6th of June so just make sure you're back for that day and you know then maybe you could like do a

different route like when I went traveling I was meant to do Brazil and South America and we ended up flying to Miami like the plans change yeah it changes along the way dilemma three over to you Hans dilemma three me and my ex broke up nearly two months ago I'm dealing quite well with the breakup however I've come to the realisation that when I'm single I'm great but when I get into relationships my mindset changes

I'm all about making the other person happy to the point where regrettably in my last relationship I was putting in 150% when he was not giving the bare minimum do you have any advice for when I start dating again to keep my happiness as a priority as well as my partner's? Okay, I think it's really good that you've realized that and recognized it

and you just have to keep reminding yourself of that, like self-love, like put yourself first above anything else. I think that's exactly it. I think the fact you recognize it. The hardest, best part. Yeah, exactly. You recognize it and be really conscious of it and be really mindful and be really aware um and just catch yourself doing it and like nothing's ever everything's a progress so like just that one percent change will will help you yeah

right Melissa could you tell us about your Mykonos trip? Because I'm bloody jealous. Well, it hasn't happened yet. It hasn't happened yet. I'm going on Friday. I can't flipping wait. For a whole week? For a whole week. Mykonos to me is like a five-day thing.

So, like, it's so fun that you're going for a week. We're doing six nights. Seven days. Long old stand. Seven days is so stunning. So, what are your plans? Melissa's just going to get apt. What are you going to drink?

Talk me through the alcohol situation. I don't know, but i feel like it will obviously start at lunchtime do you know what i mean by the pool drinks lovely stuff i don't know maybe it's corona maybe a corona maybe some champagne maybe some champagne at lunchtime april's gore i did not think you liked april oh you know what i can have a glass of it as long as it's got enough um per second soda water if it's too aperol it's a bit too bitter syrupy yeah i it just depends on who's made it yeah how much i like it but um paloma is quite a good one in mcnerney okay right i'm gonna give one a go oh they'll do like really lovely cocktails oh my god i honestly can'tantes you're saying it so yeah yeah god for telling everyone where i go oopsie um yeah just non-stop eating and drinking swimming somebody are you doing like a boat day or anything no i was thinking maybe we need to do that maybe just plan that when you're there yeah

there's so many fun beach bars and so many fun restaurants i don't even think you'll get it's not you'll just want to stay there for that there's actually you'll probably end up like getting really there's like proper nights out on the beach but i was like turning i know i think we'll do a couple like boozy days yeah i can imagine i'm honestly having so i'm honestly so excited is toby so the same level mind thinking of you on holidays do you think like you're the same vibe yeah because jamie and like i would not go booze boozing with me on a holiday oh no no no he's like we'll do it well he was like we'll do at least one day of like something of like getting like we wanted to do scorpios scorpios yes but it was fully booked namos so we've done another one i

think it might be that one that we've booked so far because we couldn't get into scorpios but we booked like a couple of dinners and some of them you have to like prepay which is quite nice because we did that like weeks ago it feels like now we're having free dinners i'm very excited we can't wait to hear the gossip back you never spent like pooping or what are you gonna do no no you crossed that bridge but at the point when you sort of spend like a weekend together in each other is there anything you're nervous about anything you're still at the stage though where you're buying like sexy new bikinis and wanting to look really sexy. Yeah, but that's,

I wouldn't do that. I would do that anyway. Me and Jamie, no, I don't. I'm not on whatever. It's just I buy new clothes. I would do that anyway. What about like underwear?

Are you going to bring any like sexy underwear? No, you know me. I just wear like, with honestly, lovely cotton brief thong. Brief thong? No, lovely cotton thong. I don't know if I've got like Give me the organic cotton and

then no bra, which is going to change. We're going to start wearing bras. Yes, a mask. Being a little bit more. You don't want tacky boobs. No, no. Bride by Zilla. Yeah. I haven't got any update on it. I've been really slack. I booked the venue and I was

like, oh, watch my hands. I feel like something's happened. I literally booked the venue. Bridesmaid dresses. You've kind of picked them sort of oh yeah so we're going with it a really wonderful lady called Indy and she is from a brand called Maids to Measure and they sort of lovely name I know it's so nice and um it's like by Walton Street and she yeah we're going with them and we've got the we've set the bridesmaid date in that's all of us girls yeah I'm. And we've set the bridesmaid date in with all of us girls. We're going to go try on all the bridesmaid dresses.

And it's actually a lovely brand if you want like a wedding guest outfit. Yeah, I think so. I got a pink wedding guest outfit from there for the wedding in August. I would say it's kind of like ghost slash reformation vibes. It's very ghost reformation. It's so lovely. Really lovely. So I'm really excited.

Also, there's some semi semi semi like the feeders are going out there for the hen well I don't know this

the girls the bridesmaids are apparently well no there's just some feeders like there's just some ideas being thrown around

I'm nervous you're not allowed to know a thing how exciting oh I just got back from Barcelona it was the funnest hen do you ever

oh god yeah another hen like it actually was well actually no obviously Tiff's was so fun from Barcelona it was the funnest hand you ever oh god yeah another hand like it actually was well actually no obviously Tiff's was so fun too but it was like literally the funnest time ever

it was done and also Jamie's with you quite sweet that you had so fun so Jamie's best friend Georgie LaRue

who owns Gigi and Olive a really amazing gifting it's sort of like a gifting net-a-porter for gifting i would say so like any right gifts like you should look for your mom there to give to all like any Christmas

hampers from there didn't we christmas hampers any sort of hampers but very bridal as well she owns that brand and um obviously she's getting married it was her hand but it was done so well it's almost like a wedding her hand like as in there was like like the tape like the menu was all printed out it was so beautiful we got she got us all these beautiful like personalized pajamas

with embroidery with all of our names it was just heaven it was so lovely went to Barcelona had a boat day it was so much fun it did look really like

actually quite wholesome in a way really wholesome but like Barcelona was the hottest thing in the entire world was it too hot? no it was so fun because we all just drank those of rosie and i drank so many but i've never felt heat like it i was like oh god and jay was so hot because all of us guys

like wanted the shade to preserve our skin he just got the one seat sat right in the sun and he was just like dripping but it was just like so much fun only recovered on tuesday though lovely stuff and shannon mcdonald's on the way home guys oh my god i also wanted to say i went into brandy merford the other day also guys the girls that work in there are just so pretty and cute aren't they and i was checking out and then the sweet girl behind the desk was like oh my god she was like sophie was in here just earlier yeah and i was like what that day no she was like no no no the other day because i was like you were away and i was like she's lied to me she's gone i was like she's pretended she's got me on find my friends

yeah i know you know you've turned your find my friends off i have not done that she's being shady she's hiding i've got jamie on it though so it's fine she messages me she's like have you turned your find my friends i don't even know how to work it. Like, what are you talking about? I'll actually say something. My dad's in Tarifa right now. I read the girl's name out because she was, my dad sat on, like, a roof terrace, and a girl was listening to our podcast.

What, at the time? Oh, my God, how sweet. Yeah, my dad met her. She was called Poppy. Apparently very sweet, and she was listening. She found it very funny when you whacked your head open with those

Toby sent that to me every hour of today like this is still making me laugh am I right it's too good it's also my reaction I'm so unfazed

I'm so unfazed while I'm literally like you're like I'm like you're so sympathetic right okay guys we need to break the croners I said 10 out of 10

10 out of 10 yeah yeah I've gone down swimmingly that hard swimmingly love you. Swimmingly. Love you. Bye, guys. Love you.

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19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas.

I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio