Wednesdays - Ep 71: He’s asked another girl for Snapchat nudes!!

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

The single diaries are spicing up this week- hot girl summer is NOT over! This week we’ll be catching up with all of your lovely emails as well as discussing drama on a superyacht, snapchat nudes, why we’re drawn to toxic relationships and how to forget about a partner’s previous engagement. This week we’re drinking MORE rose. https://www.coop.co.uk/products/mcguigan-single-batch-rose-839010 Sophie Rating: 9Melissa Rating: 9 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Hey guys, it's Sophie here. And Melissa. And welcome to our new podcast, Wednesdays We Drink Wine. We're ready to rumble mother oh aggression i am guys not ready for the summer to end and it feels like it's just going so quickly now and i'm freaking out no i'm freaking out but it's not ending i refuse to allow it and also september is a really lovely month we get the indian summer love oh so we can still drink rosy and just have our time it's not going to be

winter until oct, right? Well, actually, apparently it's not winter until December. Oh, lovely. It's autumn until... Oh, you're right. And I do actually like an autumn. An autumnal vibe, quite nice. The leaves everywhere.

I just don't like cold. Neither do I. But then I do complain about being hot. Guys, I got my rains thing on the way over here on the tube. My fingers all went white. I was like, are you joking? What? Is that from the cold? It's from cold. and then circulation yeah i know it's i think it's

because you're hung over i am hung over i had a wild this will make you feel great pep me up go on then give us it looks rather pep in your step this looks very blossom hill-esque what is this this is a co-op special i feel like this looks lovely okay right Okay, right, cheers. Cheers. Also, me and Sophie haven't seen each other in like two weeks. Oh, it's been really horrible, guys. No, no, no, maybe that's an exaggeration.

And also not spoken as much as we normally do. I know. It was making us, I really went AWOL. It smells really nice. It's dribbling all over me. It's really like mild.

Lovely. That's honestly the nicest wine ever. What the hell? That is so nice. No, that's buttery. That tastes like a chardonnay but it's pink. It's so smooth.

McGuigan, single batch project, dry rosé. It is dry. South Australia, sorry. No, that's stunning. Shout out to the Australians.

I'm actually, that's my favorite. That's the nicest wine I've tried. No, that is really, really. Like, I don't even need an ice, but that is very. Imagine that with ice. It's not acidic.

Not acidic at all. Which is weird, because it's so that. It's very... Imagine that with ice. It's not acidic at all. Which is weird because it's so dry. It's lovely. Yeah, so I'm a bit hungover, guys. The single life is spicing up a little bit. Could we... Is that all we get to tell? Yeah, and maybe we'll touch on it at the end again

in the single diaries. We'll touch again and go into a little bit more detail. Stay tuned then. Yeah. Let's dive into the episode. We haven't seen each other for ages because I have been... I had a wedding. Yeah. Let's dive into the episode. We haven't seen each other for ages because I have been, I had a wedding. Yeah.

The most fantastic, I actually have wedding blues still a week later that the wedding's over and it wasn't even my wedding. It was that good. Was it really amazing? It was just so good. It made me so excited for mine. Oh. I can't, it was just like the best three days ever. Oh.

And it was just, the best three days ever and it was just the weather was incredible I mean Georgie looked so beautiful and her dress was made by my designer really

Emma Beaumont shout out to Emma and the sleeves were removed wow those photos were phenomenal it looked so so so much better

that's who we're going to get for our photographer as well oh my god lovely really spilling the nearly words juice over here guys we are saving some content for that slash i listened to the nearly words podcast the first time today first time yeah i know you and jamie so well i know everything you've already talked about yeah how many times have you had the stories yeah well he is he repeats himself he loves it loves it but i listened and it was the um lie detector test one that made me die with laughter and also made me feel really nice like it doesn't even feel

quite cozy I was like oh there's a coach oh my god someone I was at this house party the day one of the um guys that was there was like I don't hate this the wrong way but I listened to you and Sophie's podcast to fall asleep too oh my my God, that's quite sweet. I was like, I am quite sweet, but also like kind of an insult. No, quite sweet. I like listening to people who make me, like, because I think we're quite a cheery podcast. Do you guys agree?

I mean, we're not. I don't know. Like, I'm sending this, nodding this guy off, quite funny. I would say my voice is anything but nodding people off. It's like, meh, meh, meh. No, it's not.

It's not at all. Okay, Melissa. She's got quite a soothing, relaxing voice. Listening to you on the Liza Touch Test podcast today was lovely. Really? It was so relaxing. Someone messaged me saying, you have one of the great voices of the internet

and you should do an audio book. I was like... Oh my God, wow. Maybe we should write a book. Guys, do you think we should write a book on how to drink wine? How to drink wine. And fail at doing it.

Yeah. This is so delightful, this one. I'm really, really, really enjoying it. Just talk to me a little bit about Mic and us. So you went to all the places that I went to. We went to Tour Twice, which is a new restaurant Melissa introduced us to and it was so delicious.

I went twice too. The second time they wasn't as good. I do find that- I found the same. I think when you've done it you've done it yeah and also like I don't know about you guys but I really can't stand it I know it's all about having good service and like being you know but they hover like flies like I drink a drink and it's like your walls just getting popped up yeah yeah yeah quite American it was just bothering me I was like ah and like I would eat my first meal and then jamie would like not be finished and like my plate was gone i really it's a pet peeve of mine i'm like oh god that's not actually very good yeah it was quite annoying but then they brought us free ice cream at the end that was like delicious the place we're staying

at which is called um cali mykonos was amazing it was just really amazing we took it so chilled slept so much honestly i, I think I got like 12 hours sleep every night. Yeah. Still look really, really tired though. I sometimes find that when you go, go, go. You can have too much sleep. Yeah. You have too much sleep. You make yourself even more tired. Yeah. I do that to myself quite a bit, I think. Right. Can I have an update with you please? Cause you went to say farmhouse. Oh yeah. I went to farmhouse. That was really, really wholesome. Really, really lovely. That is a magical, magical place. I felt like I was in another world when I was there.

I agree. I really did. I loved it. Do you, which restaurant do you go to? We did all of them. How many nights do you go for three? Two. So you're with an ex-boyfriend, guys, but like just as friends.

Just as friends. He was actually doing a really good job at setting me up with people, which is very kind of him. Oh, is he the one who set you up with the date on Friday? Yeah. So, she's got a date on Friday. Oh, guys. Where are you going to go? Dunno.

Maybe come to mine for a pre-date wine before. Oh, I used to do that back in the day. Do you remember the last thing? Yeah. Sweetness, aren't we? Sweetness, we're back in the day do you remember the last thing yeah sweetness sweetness we're back in the game she would make herself a little ginger cinnamon tea and then get me a glass of wine yeah being let's try and make me look a little bit cooler I'd have like a bit

no you were having a nice wholesome night and then you were sending me off on my day so frumpy and like my pajamas up to my she'd have a face mask on her little dressing gown, get herself a mint tea and then pour me a glass of wine. Do you remember? Oh my God. Oh yeah, because it was like November time. Yeah, so farmhouse was wonderful. Did all the restaurants. It was so hot.

We had to get there at 7am, reserve the beds. God, they get filled up so quick. It's full on, isn't it? It's crazy. Joe Wicks was there. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say it. Lean in 15. Lean in 15 and you could hear him like talking and being loud.

And I was like, oh my God, it's honestly like just listening to his videos. It was so weird. Did you ever do that? What? Any of like the Joe Wicks. Workouts or anything? No. But like, I love his little videos when he's like, bit of eggs, bit of salt, bit of pepper.

And there we go. Lean in 15. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, same. He's Jase. Also Georgie, the bride. Oh yeah. That was who she followed.

So she did the joe wicks plan and honestly she looked incredible wow like really really obviously shout out to joe wicks shout out to joseph um also guys i will have to say a couple of weeks ago i went to wilderness festival i think we've had a couple of pods since that but I met a really lovely girl I think her name was Eva I did have a couple Palomas so my mind's a little bit foggy but she was so sweet and shout out to Eva because she is now in a happy relationship thanks to our advice god that's just you're welcome guys phenomenal thing I've ever heard that it that fills me with pure joy it really does god well pat on the back we're doing some some good in that, aren't we?

We are. Oh, my God. I wonder what advice and what the dilemma was. I'd love to reread that. I think it was about getting back with the next boyfriend or something. I can't remember. But anyway, they're happy together. Oh, and we were like, do it.

And we go, God, that's just well done us. I know. Honestly, I need to start following my own advice. Okay, right. We've got some catching up with the listeners here. Some little messages hey girls love the pod i am the poppy your dad met and oh my god do you remember me saying my dad oh my god yeah yeah yeah when he was in spain james and poppy and poppy is the girlfriend

anything carry on reading um i am poppy your dad met in Tarifa Tarifa I was there with my boyfriend James I'm not into kite surfing at all as Jay as James loved being able to talk about it with your dad and his friends about it you were who were all super lovely by the way lots of love I love that hey Poppy thanks for entertaining my dad and making him think that my podcast is really cool because he was like wow someone in Tarifa listens to your podcast I was like yeah dad check it out that's so cute that's so sweet I I'm scared of coats it's also funny when it's like people across the world say stuff to you well I think she's British but she was I know but it's just always such a small world when you like I don't know when you're in another country like god this is crazy yeah when it happens in London I'm always like I guess it's easier because when you like, I don't know, when you're in another country, you're like, God, this is crazy.

Yeah. When it happens in London, I'm always like, I guess it's easier because we live here and I don't know. But like when it happens across the world, you're like, oh my God. Across the world. Across the world. You know what I mean. I know what you mean. Okay, we got another girl.

Hi, girls. Love the podcast. I just wanted to say that the book that Melissa mentioned in the last podcast, The Game, is cited as being misogynistic. Maybe worth mentioning that it's not the best thing for guys to read. Right, well, we don't want any of that. Well, we don't want any of that. Boys, don't be reading that. Throw The Game in the bin.

Is there a book like that for girls? How to Be a Bitch But Not a Bitch. I remember someone who's... Oh, really? How to Be a Bitch But Not a Bitch? Something like that. Oh, my God. bitch but not a bitch I remember someone oh really how to be a bitch but not a bitch something like that oh my god I can't remember what it was called right anyway moving on hey Sophie Melissa I'm loving the podcast and just listening to the episode where you were where you went through what people had been called during sex and reminding me of a story

my ex told me about her ex my what my friend told me about her ex they were having sex normally in doggy and obviously we know the struggle oh no air gets inside i hate this word a queef came out oh i hate that word too that's horrible they've been together for a while it was no big deal but he stopped what he was doing looked at her vagina and said don't talk back to me that is oh my god that's the best thing i've ever read that is sorry that's really funny chat from that boy i would piss my love wait he stopped doing doggy he leans down to her vagina and goes don't talk back to me that almost doesn't crunch me out that's honestly made me a bit hot and flustered i don't know why it's just so funny any boys wanting to date melissa you know the type of chat she likes

i always go well it doesn't happen that regularly but when i do i'm like it wasn't me it wasn't me like as though your vagina's not you like it wasn't me it wasn't happen that regularly. But when I do, I'm like, it wasn't me. It wasn't me. Like, as though your vagina's not you. Like, it wasn't me. It wasn't me. Yeah, it was the other vagina. Oh, my God. That's just so funny. Oh, my God.

That's too good. Right, okay. I have a story that will make you both die and make newly single Melissa laughed. Here we go. I am also newly single and was meant to go out on a date tonight. My parents are away and there is a dog sitter staying in my house and coming in and out whilst I'm also temporarily living at home.

This afternoon, I put my Santa Fe Express tan mousse on, which you leave on one hour for a mild tan and two hours for a dark tan. I popped on my dressing gown and sat in my garden

to read my book and eat my dinner. Lovely. Lovely. Unfortunately, I just went to let myself back into the house two hours later

and discovered my back door was locked with my dog looking at me from the inside. Fuck. Oh inside oh the dog sitter dropped the dog off home and then locked the door ah i have been trapped outside for an extra hour outside but the fate i'm now going deep mahogany having been off for three hours and a rain shower oh fuck there's a rain shower so it's all streaky god needless to say i've cancelled my date and i'm waiting for my mother who's abroad to send me a dog sitter's number to let me back into the house and wash off the tan pretty sure i'm going to be living in hibernation a deep shade

of orange for the next week oh my god that's so funny and also a sign from above that you just didn't need to go on that date that night that's all that was and it's a funny story that i'm dead also that you wrote that to us whilst it was actually happening to you like you were still outside the house and you were like i still can't get in oh my god did she actually i've been yeah like meanwhile i'm waiting for my mom to send me the dog sitter's number so i can get her to come back and let me in the house oh my god that's so funny oh god so she just hit the three hour mark with the fake tan. I've been there. I've been there and it's just, it stinks as well.

It just gets into your pores. Like no matter how much you wash it off, you can just sniff the like cookies. It just biscuits everywhere. It's just awful. I just really can't stand that smell. Someone told me a good trip. You should put moisturizer on your armpits and armpits.

And your like hands and your elbows and your knees and your ankles. It stops the smell because it's basically, you shouldn't basically put it on your armpits and your um like hands and your elbows and your knees it stops that the smell because it's basically you shouldn't basically put it on your armpits because they should be like oh i see because you sweat and write and you put clog the pores up with the fake tan so if you put the moisturizer on it just slides off and then it's all good it's all dandy nice little trick okay so guys we're on to dilemma one when is it too old to be a mean girl my dilemma is about a girl at work i work on a boat where the majority of people are late 20s to early 30s there's this girl who hasn't taken to me whatsoever which is hard for me to handle because i rarely have problems fitting in and getting along with people since Since I've joined this establishment, she has subtly made my life miserable.

Aww. That's horrible. There's been many digs in the past which I've managed to ignore or rise above, or I have even tried talking to her and addressing the situation directly in person. She denies having any animosity towards me. Most recently, she just started to organise an event

for all the ladies who work together, but very specifically excluded me. What a bitch. I don't like this but this is bullying sort of behavior i do not like this and it's never young enough to be a mean girl i so agree my partner also works with us and doesn't see so clearly how she manages to make me feel so anxious and uncomfortable and now upset boys don't get this stuff no they never men just don't get it they're like oh whatever yeah they never get it it's so frustrating they're like who cares we've both actually had this with people haven't we when like a girl's been like mean to us and the boyfriends are like why do you care yeah why do you care and for us we're like just so upset about it and it's eating us alive

he tells me to just be the bigger person and grow a pair and carry on with the day normally. Yeah. This is all we get. All we get. I can't stand you boys. This is something I do, but it's getting to a point now where it's really affecting my mental health.

Do you have any advice on how to approach this or continue with my day-to-day work? I live on this boat with all these people, so it's not easy to escape the working day and leave. I've considered leaving, but not only does this make me feel like she is one, but little mean leaving the place where my boyfriend and i work together have you guys ever had a problem with this before i wonder if jamie would have any advice on how i can speak to my

boyfriend for him to understand the full scale of the situation um so there's loads of things i think firstly for the boy be a bit more understanding. You've got to sit down with him and be like, this is, I know you don't understand, but this is how it's making me feel. Don't go into it being like, she's a bit, she's done that. Just be like, it is making me feel really low. Like, I really don't like it. Secondly, it's so easier said than done.

But my friend Bella once told me just, when you go to sleep at night, because I overthink things and I think a lot of girls do it sounds like you are like you're getting anxious and worked up about it just really and you're also so like this you're you've got to be really logical like you don't like this girl because she sounds awful yeah you don't want her in your life so why are you letting her affect you yeah because I know the only person that's going to be missing out at this point is you and like if you if you like start removing yourself from the situation it's literally only affecting you and then she's got her own way and you're like oh why have i like

made myself more miserable because of this bitch and she's mean girl but then also i would my advice would be to remove yourself from the situation like I don't think it's a nice thing for her to be living while like living on a boat I would just I don't know what I wouldn't I would not remove myself from the situation I would rise above it and almost be so not overpowering but like just so I don't give a fuck like sort of energy seems like it's I know it's easier said than done so much and if she doesn't have the confidence to do that which like a lot of people don't and she's now there's other girls creating a party and excluding her like I just don't think that's well your boyfriend at this point needs to step up and like have your back and be like well that's just freaking like that's so mean and like

so petty and like horrible you can't exclude people and if she's like if you've tried to sort it out as well and try to be like is there a problem here like there's animosity and she's always shut it down and been like no like you're being silly sort of thing then fine why aren't you inviting me it's hard because it's like in the normal circumstances if you lived in london whatever and she created a party and you aren't invited i kind of be like look you're not invited get over it why do you want to go? You're not friends. But if you're living on a boat together, that's a whole different thing. It's like

you're singling out one person. I agree. It's like, where are you meant to go that night when they're all having a party? And also, is your boyfriend invited and you're not? Like, what the hell? And like, why isn't he being like, well, you know, why haven't you invited Sally or whatever her name is? You know. it seems weird i

also don't understand the boat situation are they like maybe they're all working on like let's just say they're working on a big cruise ship or something like that same so like there's probably 25 30 of them that all work there that are all friends in this workplace and you can't ever escape the workplace so like your work your social hours are all the same it sucks i think you've got to just remind yourself every time she does it like i wouldn't talk sorry for you yeah i feel sorry for you like what's your problem like poor you like yeah and when you have a party you don't fucking invite her seriously fine if we're not friends if that's how you want to play i don't want to be friends with you anyway that's fine you have your party and don't invite me because i can think

of anything worse than spending time with you that's what you've got to remind yourself and i'm having fun this is my career this is my boyfriend this is my life you've got your boyfriend but your boyfriend also does need to step up stand up for you and like be a bit more of a man i think the boyfriend i think that's probably would make a huge difference if you just understood i think you should just really sit down with him and be so vulnerable and honest rather than I don't know what you're doing now but you need to make him clear or show him this podcast listen mate step up because she's upset yeah be the protector you need to be I guess like the team player right yeah he's freaking teaming you on you've got to be a team i get it

when girls over exaggerate and the boys are like shut up but also and i do think to a certain degree like some of that advice is good so he said to you you know man up man up and get over it which i do agree with to an extent you know man up like who gives a shit about what this girl says she's obviously not very nice so we can't let her affect our lives. But also, like, with this party situation, he needs to, in protest, not go and also say to her, like, bit weird that you haven't invited my girlfriend, but whatever, I'm not going to come either

because I don't really want to be around you. I think you're negative energy. You're just a bit... Yeah, you're mean. She's saying she's probably just jealous. Maybe she fancies the boyfriend. Seems a bit odd, doesn't it? Yeah. You're mean. She's probably just jealous. Maybe she fancies the boyfriend. Seems a bit odd, doesn't it? Yeah.

Something's fishy. Why would she not like you for no reason? But this does happen. Jealousy. Yeah. It always boils down to jealousy. Always. Right.

I'm really sorry you're going through that. That really sucks. But just remember that you're the bigger person. And go to sleep every night counting all the good things that you're the bigger person and go to sleep every night counting all the good things that you're grateful for and don't every time she comes into your mind counter it with something that you're happy about I also think that this

and remind yourself this has happened to all of us in some way or another we've all had a mean girl we've all had it Fandu Casino Daily Jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do.

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and I'm stuck between two boys that are completely different. One boy is my ex but we still talk from time to time but is no but is a massive dick and I can't seem to get away from him as he messages me and then acts like he didn't he didn't and plays up to his mates. When we were in a relationship he was the sweetest and I can't help but to think there is a chance he is still the same. No, he's not. Not if he's turning into a dick. Also, when we are in class, he looks over at me, then looks back and does a smirk. Oh my god, these games these boys play.

The other boy messages me all the time and even his mum messages me seeing I am, and he is so sweet and is exactly what I need. But my ex is the one that gives me butterflies. What do I do? Love you gorgeous girls so much. I'm flipping love the pod. Try my job. This is toxicity. That is me all over when I was younger, slash probably now,

if I wasn't engaged. You just like the bad boy, and you like the chase, don't you? I think we's like, I think we all have this weird part in us that like is drawn to toxicity and I don't know

what it is about human nature. I think it's the chase. It's the push pull and it's the toying with the emotions. Do you know what I mean? No, I don't like that.

I like the chase. I like the chase. But it's not even a chase. It's a push pull. It's like I'm giving you everything then I'm being a dick. Yeah, but that is the chase because it's like pulling you a chase. It's a push-pull. It's like, I'm giving you everything, then I'm being a dick. Yeah, but that is the chase. It's like pulling you in

and then pushing you back out the whole time. She's using a psychology in my brain. Like, there's no chase here. He's giving her everything but then being a bitch behind her back to his friends. Do you know what I mean?

No, but he's like giving it to her and then not speaking to her and like smirking her and then not giving her anything. So that is the chase because she's like, But you can't put yourself through this. This is horrible.

He's not the one. He's not the one. You can't go back to him. He doesn't like you enough if he's treating you like that. I really believe it. Guarantee you, if you ghost him, he will come running.

But you have to still hopefully by then have fallen for the nice boy because honestly, it's just, it's never, these boys don't change, especially until they're about 30 and he's 15. So he's got 15 more years to go. 25, the full frontal lobe starts finishing to develop and that point they're still children.

My mum always says, says what you say about my brother, the full frontal lobe doesn't develop to the 25. Which genuinely means the part of your brain for a boy, which helps you make decisions, doesn't finish developing to the 25. That's why boys like do like do, like, really silly things. So, like, when we're 15,

like, we have the mental age of a 15-year-old, but they have a mental age of, like, a 12-year-old, right? So true. And it happens, like, they're so behind us the whole time. That's why, generally, girls go for older guys. Because we're, like, on the same maturity level. You know? When we go for someone older.

We need to go for the nice boy here i think that first you need to ghost and i mean don't even be looking at him when he smacks you because even though we don't want you to get with him i really want him to crave you and like run after you because i know you will and i just know this will happen you have to not even give him eye contact like just he doesn't exist don't be angry you just don't care about him like he almost repulses you and you have to show him like what he's missing like have fun flirt with other boys in front of him laugh the whole time there is nothing worse oh god we're such there's nothing worse than like seeing someone you love you think they should be having a bad

time and having the best time. Nothing worse. Nothing worse. So that's what you got to do. And also, we're like actual devils. We should just be saying, not this, but I just...

I'm just going to say it anyway. I'm going to say it anyway. Get with the other sweetie. Get with the sweetheart. Hopefully fall with him. I'm crossing all my fingers that you do. In the meantime, you're going to have a lovely time.

He's probably going to, you know, you're're gonna share some lovely memories his mom seems wicked the other one's gonna be like running after you like nobody's business and if he isn't at that point you're probably gonna be like don't want you now because now you're planning after me that's always what happens he'll give you the ick when chase yeah it's the game it's horrible game that we all play gosh are we actually devils on people's shoulders i hope we're not dilemma three hi ladies love the pod you two are hilarious and i'm actually addicted love that love you my car just knows to play you every time now so i have a dilemma that my whole friendship group has told me to send so i have a friend who is in this uni group who has been with his girlfriend for six years.

A few months ago, this girl on our course started flirting with him and rumor has it that he has reciprocated this and more. But apparently nothing physical. Some of the friendship group lives with him, so they know more. But now he's asked our friend for nudes on Snapchat. Fuck. Uh-oh. She's uncomfortable and all of us in the group don't know what to do girl code is important so i don't want to throw my mate who got asked for news out of the bus but equally his girlfriend is so lovely and wants to hang out with

me and my boyfriend on double dates etc and i just don't know if i can hold this info in she's so lovely and doesn't deserve this please help go to him straight away and be like mate what the fuck you do wait can we can you just help me clarify the situation so there's this the girl that's written in the dilemma has obviously got a lovely boyfriend and there's a guy in the friendship group that's messaging another girl in a friendship group but he has a girlfriend that you also know so i'm assuming the girlfriend doesn't go to the uni this is my take from it they've been going out for six years the god the boy this girl who's written this in and the boy who's being bad they all go to the same uni and I think someone on her course okay has been flirting with this

boy and he's now reciprocated and now asking for nudes. Firstly, gross, don't ask for nudes. Ick. Yeah, that is... Snapchat, no. No, that is a no-go zone. I would go straight out here. I would go to the boy and be like, look, I know this, this and this. I'm going to tell my friend.

I wouldn't say I'm going to tell her. I'd just be like, can you stop? If you don't want to be... No, I would say I'm going to tell her if you don't. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. You've got to fucking tell her. And if you don't tell her, I'm going to because I can't sit with this on my shoulders

and it's fucked up. It's not right. And I'd also be like, like surely, yeah, just no, gross. I would definitely go talk to him. A hundred percent. You can't just keep it. Yeah, I so agree.

And I also think then you've passed the baton and the weight of the information on. It can feel really heavy and like stressful when you know information like that do you not don't you think i quite like it love getting the inside gas yeah but it's not like that yeah like imagine i've never been told imagine i had a boyfriend you know you know me and the boyfriend really well and you found out the boyfriend was trying to what info do you know i don't i'm saying imagine if i've never had anything so i wouldn't know if it was heavy,

but I can imagine it would be heavy. I have. I've known before that a boy has cheated on one of my friends. Like, I've known that, and I didn't know what the hell to do because I didn't really know him well enough to say to him, look, you've got to tell her. Did you tell her?

I got my boyfriend at the time to speak to the boy and be like, Melissa knows, and she'll tell, thingy, you need to sort it out now and did he yes and then I got this is also the problem you get I then got caught in the crossfire of the whole thing because the girl then forgave and then I was done for shit stirring and I was like hey hey I'm just the messenger so like I think you have to accept that that might happen but at least you'll know that you've done the right thing because that is what happened to me I was like I've done the right

thing I would want to know and all I did was make him explain to you what happened and you know if you can't see that I was doing the right thing and you're getting pissed off of me then that's your own problem and you're being blind yeah essentially yeah you've got to speak to him i agree last dilemma hey so for melissa i have such a dilemma that i really need some support with i've been dating someone for a year now and everything is going super well the issue is that he was previously engaged his ex-partner of 10 years oh no no don't like that don't like that i'm not sure if i could what you can't i don. You can't disqualify them just because they had an ex. No, you're right. You're right. You're right. But I just feel like this dilemma is going in such a way. Okay. It ended very badly just a matter of weeks before their wedding,

but it's given me the fear of everything wedding related. Okay. I would probably have the same. This is normal. Everything to do with weddings makes me think about him and his ex and I can't help but feel that if we were ever to get engaged that i wouldn't enjoy the process as much as he's done it all before is this normal will i ever get over the feeling like the second option do i continue the relationship with the fear of never wanting to get married or try and get over it help please okay get over it you get over it I understand completely times the biggest healing the feeling of your bedding I so get that but also like you've got to get over it because life's too short people get married like five times you've got to get over it you don't even do the wedding thing you're ruining your and also he's not he's not proposed to you yet so just

cross that bridge when it comes fast yeah I agree and it might just take you by surprise and you wouldn't feel it you wouldn't think or feel a thing about the ex it's just you've got to remember all these little things are insecurities like he hasn't done anything wrong is we all have them that is an insecurity that you are having about his ex for no other reason that they than they were together for such a long time like you they could have had the shittest relationship ever. Yeah. But it's just because they've got a 10-year stamp, because they had the ring on the finger,

you automatically think, oh, my God, he must have loved her more. But it's just not the case. You just don't know. You never know what... Each relationship is so different. So different. They didn't even make it to the wedding.

So you would have that with him. Like, you would have the wedding. You would have the honeymoon. You would have the, you know, oh, my God, we're're like new newlyweds and like oh my god we're gonna have our first baby or whatever i don't know if you want baby there's so many more things you can have with him right exactly and you've got to think yeah you just can't you can't you can't live in the past you can't live always you're just putting yourself down basically so build yourself back up because you're great there's a reason he's with you and yeah don't wallow in it and like build yourself

up yeah build yourself up you will be absolutely fine in times of biggest heat i honestly think this is the sort of thing that everyone who sort of gets into a relationship when someone had a significant ex in the past i always think that you're a bit like oh the ex it's human nature but over time you just forget about them and you become so united that you couldn't even imagine a third party you know what I mean yeah so agree single diaries bitch oh can'tof. Can't wait for it. She's bitching again because she's had a drink. I just said it. Okay, so what I'm going to say is it's just, I guess,

like getting more, it's spicing up. I don't know what phase I'm in of the heartbreak healing. I think five. We're well over the heartbreak now. How long has it been, two months? They say it's half your relationship times how long were you going out for like eight months yeah god she's a speedy heartbreaker oh you've got another two months to go in the literally i don't believe that shit for a second

because my luck with my last breakup it took me zero time to go zero and i was with the boy for like three years so i don't think that's a relevant thing it's all about your like mindset right no shade is ever thrown on this podcast let me tell you oh god I just think yeah it's about building yourself back to that like energy and the distraction thing is definitely incredibly important and has helped back ladies and gentlemen has helped a lot but yeah I mean there's nothing major to really to put on but yeah there might be by next week oh by next week we might have lots of juicy juicy bits I mean there already is but like I'm just being a bit more I guess reserved and like by next week I

think I'll be able to wean some more out of her guys. Yeah. I want to tell you guys everything, but got to have some privacy and yeah. Um, yeah. I'm excited to have my drinking friend back. We've not drank in ages together. Oh my God. I know.

Sophie has also not, not pulled out the bag by setting me up with people this time around. All Jamie's friends are literally married with babies. What are we to do I don't know I've already been through I'm still thinking

don't worry I still look around the streets for you she scouts for me she scouts she does I'll just get have your photo

like on my screensaver and be like this is my friend are you interested I want to break some hearts come on give them to me i'm sure you've got broken plenty of hearts before right okay bridal by zilla the safer dates coming out next week might drop why do i keep doing i also don't know why you haven't sent the safer dates out way before because melissa i mean the whole world knows the bloody date now the whole world knows

the day and i'm so disorganized guys i'm the worst bride there ever was i just need to get my arse in gear while we're doing the bridesmaids fitting that's so exciting and when's that in like two weeks yeah that's really that's so lovely we're going to daphne's afterwards for lunch i can't wait for that oh have i booked it off i need to make sure I get that booked off. Yeah, I think it's a Saturday. Okay, fine. Let's book that off. Book that off? I'm so excited for that. So we're going for our bridesmaid fitting.

I don't know, but I'm assuming I'm going to sort of let the girls, I've chosen the colour, and then I'm going to let them have reign of, like, the style, the shape. Fine. Get it all pinned. Obviously, all different shapes and sizes. I want everyone to be comfortable. We need to then think about shoes.

I'm so excited. That is all all go go go team it's go go go are we gonna blink and it's gonna be you eddie don't say that i'm so freaking excited i was quite nervous before also i'm thinking are you someone's is someone gonna hold the flower girl peggy's hand down the oh can the mum do that i know i guess the mum's not a bridesmaid i don't know well i think maybe Is someone going to hold the flower girl, Peggy's hand down the aisle? Can the mum do that? No, I guess the mum's not a bridesmaid. I don't know. Well, I think maybe, I don't know, because she'll be like two by then. So maybe she'll probably be all right walking down by herself. Do you think like dawdling around?

Yeah, yeah. And if her mum is not at the front. But if not, one of you guys will walk her down the aisle. How sweet. That is sweetness. Or maybe one of the boys. That would be quite cute. No, the girls, the boys are would be quite cute no the girls the boys

are already there already there it's an american they don't yeah you're right they don't walk down the aisle it's you girls it's your big okay okay fine oh my god i'm so excited to slash now i'm thinking about i'm getting nervous again stop it i don't know why this way i can't talk about it too much. Get nervous. Also, I bet you're so excited after that, as you said, after seeing how amazing that is. I want to be a guest at my wedding. Yeah, because your experience will just be so different to ours, but you will just have a much better time, obviously.

You're marrying the love of your life. That is true. Okay, guys, let's rate the wine. Oh, my God about the wine i'm gonna rate that a nine it was so delicious that was so swimmingly that is bloody delicious we need to actually get that in stock in our house and also don't be um frightened by the color of it it's not super pink but it's not super pale but it didn't like it was so lovely it's like super pale, but it didn't, like, it was so lovely. It's like, buttery is the only way to describe it. A buttery rose. Very buttery.

Okay, I'm going to give it a nine as well. Samesies. Love you guys. Love you guys. Bye. We'll see you next time. A ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka. Or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund. Plus, move any other eligible account and we'll give you a 1% match. Minimum $15,000 transfer. Register by March 15th. Additional terms apply. Learn more at wealthsimple.com slash match.

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That's it for this week, Wednesdays. But, God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations

and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio