Wednesdays - Ep 76: She's feeding my boyfriend at the dinner table!

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

Guys - your dilemmas this week really got us thinking!We’re talking all about boyfriends and best friends, alpha-females, orgasms and when to walk away from a relationship.This week Sophie is drinking a bucks fizz- 8/10! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts at anything. In fact, we just challenge all the shit. And we love giving you guys advice but as we said, we love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help.

Okay, guys, we aren't actually in the studio, so it might sound a little bit different, but we have to jump on because there's just so much topical news. News exploding in the world, isn't there? There's just so much going on. Shiz is going down. shiz is going down shiz is going down so first and foremost molly may is pregnant i was so shocked melissa must have messaged me about three times she's like i can't get over molly may i was like i just kidding i also can't she's so young she's so young but you know what it is because i've i know that she's got endometriosis right so they probably she's so young but you know what it is because i've i know that she's got

endometriosis right so they probably were just like oh well you know it's probably going to be harder to get pregnant so it's not going to happen that easily and then it happened wow that is so lovely and do you know what she doesn't like partying i feel like we know her but you know what i mean like she's not a big party she's quite an old soul and you know many ways she's an old soul I know what you mean in that respect and also she's so established she's so successful she's got her lovely house her lovely boyfriend that's so happy yeah got quite sweet I'm really happy for that yes it kind of makes me a bit broody it's actually lovely it's really yeah that baby will have everything because I'll be so spoiled and just lovely lovely lovely wonderful oh so we've got that so do we think he's gonna propose

I don't think no I don't think so because I think it's so predictable and I think that they're just you know not that conventional like they're not you know old-fashioned in that sense like I don't think our parents can be like oh before you have a baby you've got to have a ring on your finger or get married no no, of course not. But some people quite like doing that. Like, it just feels like even more right to do it. And they're like, now we're having a baby. Yeah, but I think they'll just be like...

They'll just have the baby and then be like... He wants to surprise her, I reckon. Yeah, exactly. It's too predictable now. That's what I think. I think we'll get a hunch when they... When he's going to... Do you think that they'll announce if it's a boy or a girl?

They'll do the big old baby reveal? I think it'll be a girl. You heard it. I think it'll be a boy. I think it'll be a boy. Really? I picture a little girl all dressed in pink. I picture a little boy all dressed in pink as well.

Sweetness. Okay, and then on a really not so lovely... A little bit more of a sour note. A real sour note. Adam Levine, what do we think? Oh, for God's sake. She's... I just...

I don't understand it. Like, I just... It's also, like, how do these blokes not think they're going to get found out? Do you know what I mean? I'm like, you're doing... Like... Yeah. People are going to screenshot those messages. It's almost they're going to get found out? Do you know what I mean? I'm like, you're doing, like... Yeah.

People are going to screenshot those messages. It's almost like you want to be found out. Like, it's bizarre. It's so bizarre. What do we think about her, all the people coming out publicly? I partly am like, I get it, and I'm not blaming them. I'm not, like, blaming the girls at all. Oh, yeah, 100% not.

He's a pig. He's an absolute pig, and his messengers are disgusting. His chat is awful. They are disgusting. He makes my skin look cruel. Like, who does he think he is? She's deserved so much better than that. But, like, you know, equally, you have to respect the decision.

She's stunning, and you can tell she really loves her. I mean, she really loves him. She really loves him. Anyway. They've been on and off for a long time. What? They were together, like, years and years and years and years ago. And then they broke up.

Then he dated another Victoria's Secret angel when he was, like, performing and, like, walked with the other angel down the catwalk. So awkward. Then they split up. Then he got back with Bahati. Bahati? Bahadi.

Whatever you say. Right, okay. Well, I just... I'm just upset about it all coming out publicly. Like, I get why the girls did it. I just feel for the wife. Like, she's pregnant. Same, because it's just so humiliating. She's pregnant.

Oh my God, she's pregnant. Shit, I didn't know that. Yes, I'm just like, could you not have just gone to her privately? I get you want to shame him. I get you want him to, like, be ruined and cancelled and everyone to know what a horrible pick he is. I get that. But she's staying with you want him to like be ruined and cancelled and everyone to know what a horrible pick he is I get that

but she's staying with him do we know that for sure because honestly I can't yeah yeah yeah she's standing by him they're working through it that's from his that's his like

yeah but he wouldn't have said that if she was leaving him she would come out and be like no it's done we're actually separating now no she might just want to keep

low key at the moment for her kids and her pregnancy and her health it's just so awful being in the kids and her pregnancy i know it's horrible imagine how awful going through that is going through that as it is and then going through it in the public like public like it's like chloe kardashian this is a whole but it's the same thing that's another thing the pregnancy thing the baby thing and then the boy going off and getting another boy pregnant girl pregnant like what the fuck i can't even bear it and also okay so we scooted on to the kardashians because unless

i cried i cried during the episode i i didn't cry but i was very upset it was heartbreaking the whole thing is just so so sad oh i just can't stand these pigs like what i know who creates these creatures just what i'm not like it's just also when there's a child involved like that's just even more unfair but also tristan knew and he like tried to convince chloe to get it done by this date because he obviously wanted to get her pregnant before it got released it's so fucking disgusting so he obviously wants to stay in the family yeah it makes me feel so fucking disgusting i hate i can't these people she's now apparently dating yes you know that sexy movie that 365 i tried to watch the first like five minutes of it and it was all like in a different language i don't

know if that's because i did it on netflix by accident i didn't ever watch the whole thing but the main character in that the sexy boy boy. I hope that they stay together. I really hope. She deserves like a proper bloke now, like a proper man that's just going to like take care of her. Yeah, not some fuck up who just can't keep it in his pants. Yeah, sorry, no. No.

And the baby's just... Well, we just had to jump on and tell you guys that. That was a big episode. It was a huge episode. And so why is Kim like the size of my fingernail? She's so tiny. Well, she only, she's the same size as she was when she did the Marilyn Monroe thing. She said that all she ate was tomatoes for three weeks.

Why tomatoes? They must have like... Such a rogue choice. I know. Well, they fit nicer than broccoli. I love tomatoes. I guess you could do it with like a bit of salt and pepper. Same, but like, that's fucking boring.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner, just tomatoes. Well, maybe like breakfast, yes, with like sliced or roasted. Maybe like... She's doing blameless, yeah, yeah. And then dinner she has like, just a raw bowl of some basil. She looks great.

So does Chloe. Chloe looks the best I've ever seen her. I'm like, well fucking done. If there was any revenge to get, you look fabulous. Yeah, she looks absolutely incredible, but not happy, so... Not happy, but I'm hoping that that baby will just turn it all around for her. Same, same. We've got a real ride of a series in between coming up. OK, guys, I think that was all. Back to today's episode.

Melissa's again hung over guys I don't know what's going on I'm not hung over but I did drink yesterday I hope it was my friend's birthday so she's having a black coffee and I'm having a bellini on behalf of

all of you Wednesday people lovely stuff but Sophie has pretty much had a month off of drinking we were just saying that so she feels fresh and ready for a drink I do feel fresh

fresh and ready for a drink where it's like my whole bloodstream is just full of booze. It's disgusting. Absolutely delicious. I had those yesterday all day long.

They are so good. I love a Bellini. Oh, what's the one with peach that we like? That's a Bellini. This is a Buckfoot's. Oh, okay. Bellini's with peach.

Peach. We love Bellini. Same thing. Comes out, right? Lovely stuff. Yeah, you know Red does really nice Bellini's River Cafe cafe that's like their drink

and it's like a fresh peach pure oh we should wow we say this every year and you never take me you always end up with other bitches i actually never booked there i've only ever been excited i can't call you a bitch it's so horrible i take it back I'm so sorry I really have got into flat flat whoa whoa I really got into swearing oh no it's disgusting it's horrible because once you start you can't stop it's honestly like it's on the tip of my tongue yeah the whole time the f word yeah it's horrible and it's so unneedy like I hate it my mum always says like you don't really you don't really say you go what it's almost like when I'm in shock I just always it just is the first word that comes to the front of my brain I feel a wave of heat from that prosecco that I feel a wave of heat from my coffee that I just

don't know how you're doing about coffee hideous I'm hoping it spruces me up it was pretty sharp got it do you guys like coffee I hate. But I just have it anyway. Really? I like the taste of it. You know I hate coffee. It's my worst thing ever. Like, I down it and I'm like, oh. I like it. Right.

Guys, there's a lot to discuss today. There's big stuff going on in the world. Leonardo DiCaprio is going out with a woman older than 25. I mean, she is literally the most beautiful woman ever. But are we shocked? And she's got a kid. And she's got a kid. Has this been she is literally the most beautiful woman ever. But are we shocked? And she's got a kid. And she's got a kid.

Has this been confirmed? He's taking on a lot. I think he's actually spoken out about it. Stop saying that. Yeah, I think he's been like, stop making a thing about me dating young girls kind of thing. I mean, I kind of rate it like whatever. He's single, doesn't have kids.

Why shouldn't he? He likes the young good looking have you seen the chart i have seen this on instagram it's like every single girl that when he gets to 25 it's like yeah but he he just he's got a type he's almost 50 he gets them he nabs them just before they get cellulite just before they get any wrinkles yeah before everything's tight and high stops at 25 and he's like oof no i'm out that's your prime really what it only goes downhill good luck oh you're two years older than me so i know i've passed that you're in your last year i am my last damaged goods now no it's gonna hangovers get so

much worse i find they're getting easy but that's because I'm drinking more. Is he teetotal? No. He's a big old boozer, isn't he? I have known, there is a girl that I sort of know that has slept with him, and apparently it's a very one-in-one-out policy. What do you mean, his penis? No, the girl's. Well, one-in and then one-after. Yeah. Stop.

One leaves and another one goes in. Sorry, elaborate. That's it. She's shagged him. And she said that someone popped in after her. Yeah, she said it felt like it was very much a one-in-one sort of thing. Like, it was very much so you were there for a purpose

and you left and then obviously the next day he'd have a new girl do it. What would you do if Leonardo wanted to have sex with you, though? I think I would do it. I'm single and it's Leonardo DiCaprio. I wonder, he must have really good chat. No, what Jamie did say once was that he walked past him at like a premiere or something yeah he said the power like the aura he had around him was very much like fuck stop swearing what a cool girl

yeah what a cool guy right what are we talking about now then Melissa and I bought something yeah right this is we have to discuss this so Sophie sent me this the year it came up as an Instagram ad surely is that how you saw it yeah it's been coming up every day there you know i yeah yeah yeah and i was like i also follow that girl and i was like this looks like a bit of us so it's basically guys a pen it's like a little felt it looks like an eyeliner but it's fake tan you use it as lip liner and it brings out your natural pigment of your lips yes each of us will have like a different I didn't even read the description and it tints your lips so your permanent lip line so that'll stay for like what the whole day and the whole night I reckon that's what all those girls will be following

we're like why do they always have perfect lip line all those girls those Australian girls they it's an Australian brand they've been using it for absolutely they've been using that for years that's the secret they could have shared it with the rest of us. What the hell's that about? U-Tan. Sorry, guys. We're not really sharing U-Tan. Anyway, now we're in on the secret. I can't wait for it to arrive. Sophie sent me the link. I immediately went to add to my PayPal. Go, go, go.

Didn't even read the description. I went, need it. Need. Need. I think everybody has actually used that fake tan before and it's really good. Vegan and full of really good ingredients. Really, really, really. Oh my God, this is just beyond exciting. And it's also like a freckle pen. So if you want to do some like little freckles on your face,

you can do that with it too. It's quite sweet. I don't think I would do that, but it's a nice idea if you do. I swear you used to do that, wouldn't I? Never, ever, ever have I been a freckle girl. Sometimes you do have a couple of freckles on your face. They come out like when I first go in the sun, they'll come off the first week and then they'll just go.

It's really weird. It's like the immediate reaction to the sun and then they disappear I look peculiar with a freckle on my face I've tried to do it before and I look very strange with a freckle like a couple freckles no or like a b-spot you know how you can draw a b-spot you've got one there right now no that's a spot but it looks like you've drawn it on because it's like a little brown color so I thought that's what you did right what your friend Bella does I genuinely thought you done no Bella once drew one on my face I remember we were out for dinner together I thought I looked so fair Jamie was like what's happened to you and then I looked went to Lou I was like

what why does she look so good with it and I look absolutely I know I remember her boyfriend went to me I think Bella's got one too many beauty salts that she's drawn on because at one point she had like six no what she does is whenever she has a spot she just covers them up I think it's such a good idea it is such a good idea actually although surely someone's gonna clock on one day and be like why do your freckles move every day they're like the magical freckles okay back to um important matters so we have a lovely long happy ending story let's listen email from you guys hi sophie and melissa loving the podcast i wish i could drink wine on wednesday with you girls sweet mine isn't a dilemma it's more of a motivational happy ending story that i wanted to share with you both i could really do with that today yeah you've had my only previous

relationship was a five-year-old which i was in from the age of 15 to 20 that is long and you're so young at 15 like oh my god when we broke up it felt like my world ended and i had no idea who i was without him because we grew up together that's sad and also that is like all of your turning into an adult yeah over the next eight years after this i entered a cycle of terrible online dating i was ghosted a few times ignored all the red flags and let men treat me like shit i kept telling myself the red flags and let men treat me like shit I kept telling myself the red flags were just things to compromise on and my friends kept saying that that horrible phrase You'll meet someone when you least expect it, which always made me roll my eyes. I do believe in that though

So I really do I don't know that's gonna make you realize are listening to us saying that but I do kind of believe that after Another terrible dating experience which left my self-esteem low, I thought I was destined to be a single forever. I was in a very low place and wanted to try and rebuild my relationship with myself. Someone recommended a book to me called Attached. It literally changed my life. This is what I needed to hear today actually. This is, I'm going to get that book. Attached. I get it too. I learned that we all have different attachment styles and the way we behave in relationships can always be explained by this I then realized I needed to find out what I need need and value in a relationship so spent a year with no dating I bought myself a little car went for walks on my own started mindful mindfulness and reconnected with friends god that's wholesome

we all need to do this at some point in our lives I got to a stage where I felt so happy alone that I knew I wouldn't let anyone walk all over me I got back into online dating and my first date was in lockdown so we went for a walk together we eventually were able to meet up and I didn't even get dressed up I just thought if he doesn't fancy me in my comfy clothes and he's not then he's not for me love that fast forward two years I'm now 31 and I live with my lockdown boyfriend he's the most amazing person I've ever met and our lives have just slotted in together oh my god that really makes me so happy the moral of the story is the moral of my story isn't that you need to wait for the right guy it's that you need to spend some time appreciating and nourishing yourself before you can really find out what you need in a relationship you need to

take time to rebuild self-respect and when you feel comfortable in your own skin you might then find yourself in front of the right perfect person for you listening to your podcast has made me reflect back on horrible experiences I have with dating and has made me feel so proud of myself for what i've managed to achieve though it would be nice thought it would be nice to share a nice story with you both and i 100% recommend you read attached and talk about it on the pod love you both emma what an amazing email oh my god that is so lovely and you know why that happened because you're obviously on such high vibrations yeah And then that fed out into the universe. Fed out into the universe and you got high vibrations back. Like everything good happens when you're in a good place.

I so agree. And you're happy and you're loving yourself. I so agree. That's the stage that I'm at now where I'm like, I force the dating a bit. I need to fall back enough on myself. It's important. You are. Rebuild yourself.

Are you not in love with yourself? Yeah, but like when I think when I first met my recent ex I was so happy being alone like I was so happy with my own company I was so comfortable I didn't need somebody I got to that place this girl got to do you know you like you fall back in love with yourself yeah just like god I'm the I'm the best person to be around like just with myself like I was like I only want to be with me right now like I was just so comfortable in my own skin and then that's when you get into like a really good relationship when you're you feel like at your best this time I've been single I haven't felt like that at all really well yeah I've been I've

just been like filling a void I've been like craving like yeah but you haven't just even just try to sit on your own like you've just busied yourself so much yeah yeah but you do I get think get to a place where you're like okay right now I need to take it all comes down yeah that's I'm gonna buy that book to you at the moment yeah I'm gonna buy that book I love that thank you for that lovely story right so moving on to our first dilemma this is a long one guys oh my god my boyfriend and i have known each other for a little over a year now where we met through work we work for different companies but work together helping young adults gain employment we hit it off after first meeting and had a lot of flirty chat back and forth for the first few months all of this was during covid lockdown love a covid it's a lot

of covid yeah there is all right he told me after a month that he liked me and wanted more than a friendship at the time i didn't want anything more as i was a little apprehensive about our professional relationship being affected as well as being a bit a fair bit older than me i'm 32 and he's 45 fun nothing wrong with that i told him this and he was more than okay with it and left it at that our relationship continued as it had been growing closer with plenty of flirty banter talking and calling each other multiple times wow wow that's deep as time went on i could feel it turning slowly into something more but it felt so it felt right so i went with it three months into it we met for the

first time and ended up spending the night together three months in well done but hold on hold on so i'm assuming they only met through like zoom chats right they've never met in person to find them with you because it was a covid thing okay so three months into it we met for the first time and ended up spending the night together our instant connection connection and sex was absolutely incredible oh my god since progressed into a relationship after a month about a month after that and i felt like things were the best they could ever be okay right so this is going well i feel like there's a but things were about absolutely amazing for the first couple of months we talked about our future together including making plans about moving in together in march i went back home to to New Zealand for seven weeks as this was the first time I've been able to get home in four years wow during

that time things continued as normal but I did notice the time communication started to dwindle out a little at the time I put it down to time zone difference right up until I was about to come home his mum got really sick plus things weren't good with his flatmates, and he ended up moving out of his place and moved in with his mum full-time to look after her. Since then, it's really affected our relationship as we hardly get to spend any time together now as most of his time outside work is taking up looking after her. I admire him so much for giving up all that he has to be with her, but I can't help but feel a bit jealous that I now can't have my time with him. there's been times that we've organized time to spend together and either something has come up last minute which means he can't do anything or he's left me hanging

completely and just hasn't turned up with no contact saying to say he isn't coming that's rogue often for a day at a time afterwards until i hear from him huh right i'm sorry we're gonna have to pause this chat i'm gonna sense i don't think that he's with the mum as much as he's saying he is. That's fucking weird. It's one thing looking after someone, but it takes less than five seconds to write a text. I'm so sorry, I can't make it tonight. You don't just, don't turn up. Or I don't know how ill the mum is.

Maybe his mum's so ill, he's just in such a whirlwind of a bad place, and he's just like, I can't even talk. I just, I'm like, he's in a hole right let's read on we'd never really have had any major arguments or issues with our relationship really the only concern had been the lack of time we've been able to spend together about seven weeks ago he messaged me to say he had had enough of everything and needed time away he took two weeks off work and went away from everything work his mom his kids and with oh kids they popped out nowhere his kids me with no contact with anyone it really affected me particularly because i tend to have quite an anxious attachment in romantic relationships and after four weeks i finally had no i'm sorry i think that he's

four weeks he's gone on holiday by himself he's not spoken to you for weeks you're not in a relationship i think he might be fiddling about with another person i don't think right let's wait if i only heard from him he called me to say he just really needed to get away but apologized for the way he just got up and left the way he did that he loved me and all that he that he loved me and the time away he helped him realize what really mattered to him me being one of them we had a really good talk on how we would handle these sort of issues moving forward and how we plan to get things back to how they once were fast forward three weeks and went back to square one where he's gone mia and i haven't heard from him you if you're looking after your mom you say you say look i'm

looking after mom she's she's going to be asleep at this time do you want to come over and watch a movie with me like you communicate why is she not even met them up no no at this time. Do you want to come over and watch a movie with me? Like, you communicate. It all sounds weird. Why has she not even met them up? No, no, no. This is not good. You need to get out now. This time, and there doesn't seem to be... I haven't heard from him. This time around, there doesn't seem to be any particular event that set all of this off.

It's been a week, and I've had absolutely nothing. No calls, no messages, just nothing. He's ghosting you. He's ghosting you. I'm not the jealous type, and I trust him completely, but it's... it's well you shouldn't but it's never happened to me like this before and i'm now at the point where i just don't know what to do i'm at an absolute loss as what to do as i mentioned earlier this is the first relationship i've had in 10 years and i want to give my everything to it but i just feel so amazingly drained from feeling like i'm giving so much effort and getting nothing in return am I being too needy anxious clingy

yeah absolutely I think she is you should be like fuck you yeah yeah yeah yeah but like I also think that you're being blindsided like I don't think you're so should I give up and walk away yeah and how do I even go about beginning to try and even communicate how I'm feeling or end a relationship with someone when there's absolutely no communication. Oh my God, that's so weird. Like, how do you break up with someone who... I'd literally text him and just be like, don't know where you are, but we're done.

Yeah, when you get this, I'm really sorry. It's not working for me. Wishing you all the best. See ya. I'm, like, really annoyed. The fact that people can do this to other humans. Like, you've got to have self-respect for yourself now. Like, he, firstly, by the sound of it, just dusted and went to wherever he bloody went for a month like fair

enough if you wanted time fair enough if he needed to think or had a really stressful time and i appreciate his mom's really ill but like communicate that with you you don't just go and there's not any you find out like where is he in four weeks i'm like, oh. Four weeks. I'm back now, soz. Oh, realize I missed you after I've just been gallivanting in, like, Bali. No. And then he does it again for. Why don't you go round to his house? I'd be like, are you okay? No, this is so weird.

You've really got to sack this off. This is shady behavior. I think there's another woman involved. This is absurd. Absurd. You deserve way better. I think that your blindside, I think his mom thing, obviously, is, like, twind twindled into it which is really sad and i appreciate that you probably feel really bad for him you know which is true but that's making like clouding your judgment like this isn't right yeah

exactly would you do that to him like no even would your friend treat you like that no so why are you like him don't let anyone treat you like that girls terrible business what's he doing i'm fascinated i think i'm a private let's yeah i think that he's oh my god what should she do i would go to the house and sit in the car we're not out the road and look i would just i would just almost need to get the answers you're clearly not going to get them from him i don't know why you've not asked him and been like why did you air me for a week like what is wrong with you you're just letting it slide you're like oh hello yeah yeah hi yeah all right it was fine now you can't let

that shit go i if it was me i would go to the house i fast and wait out in a car and just see what happens same i'd tell him also you see him on his phone and it's like you're ignoring maybe on your phone that of course he's on his phone and it's like, you're ignoring me if you're on your phone. Of course he's on his phone. Also, does it not also speak volume that he's leaving his children, waking up one day, leaving his kids without any explanation

and fucking off for four weeks? No. Yeah, is that the sort of like... Person you want to be with? No, that's such a selfish person. Don't like that. Sort your life out. Don't like that at all.

Have a look. If he is going through a really hard time and he's just dealing with it in a really bad way on that being the good cop yeah playing devil like you need to commit it sounds like you're saying he's got a lack of communication but from my from an outside perception i also think you're lacking in communication because you're not saying to him look what's like this isn't on like what's going on like you have to communicate he's not a mind reader and he might just be like well she's fine when i air her for a week maybe go over to the mum's house and be like look i'd love to spend some time with you and your mum i want to help

a bit more like i want to be more involved see if that helps and maybe he isn't seeing somebody else maybe he really is like wrapped up in this whole world with his mum but if he's not letting you see that and he's just airing you for four weeks then how are you supposed to ever get anywhere this is your life this is your relationship the rest of your life no it sounds like both of you are having like bad communications with each other either he's having a full-blown affair or it's that yeah yeah but either way you still need to communicate how you're feeling like it sounds like you just break up with me mate like how hard is it to just be like I'm really sorry this isn't working yeah or just be like sorry I'm really preoccupied with my mum ask Lovisa I'll come back to you when I'm ready yeah slash don't come back at all I think that you should be like

look all of this like disappearing on me is not okay and I'm not putting up with it I'm gonna suggest that I maybe come over and spend some time with you and your mum I'd love love to help out, you know, like every now and then whenever you need me. Because it also means I get to spend time with you, which is what I want to do. And if he's like funny about that, then I almost think maybe the mum's nothing to do with it. He's living with his mum, helping her out a little bit and then going off and seeing Susie on the weekends. Something's missing. Something's kooky in this story and I don't like it. It doesn't make sense to me. It's just not quite adding up do you know what I mean try both of those situations I would start with the the nice one first if you find or actually I like are you

telling me that if you're that busy for a week looking after your mum when you go to the bathroom I know when you when your mum goes to sleep, when you wake up in the morning, you've got, when you're putting that toast in your mouth at breakfast and making yourself a coffee, you also have an extra couple of seconds to write a message or make a phone call

whilst you're doing it and have a conversation whilst you're doing it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Does he not have a job? Like, I don't get any of it. It all sounds weird. It's all very suspicious.

Are they not still working together or has he packed it all in to be with his mum? Oh, I don't know. That it it all sounds weird it's all very very are they not still working together as he packed it all into work with be with his mom oh i don't know that's a good point very very so many questions so many bad vibes but there's so many red flags i'm getting yeah a lot of negative energy from that i don't like it and i don't think that anyone should be living putting up with that and thinking right oh this is it for the rest of my relationship am i am i being sensitive absolutely fucking not this is outrageous also like at that age i'm surely he should be like should we move in together no i don't like this at all you need to put your foot down fanduel casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number

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No business or profession is risk-free. Without insurance, your assets are at risk from major financial losses, data breaches, and natural disasters. Get customized coverage today starting at $19 per month at zensurance.com. Be protected. Be Zen. Right, dilemma two. My boyfriend of I and I have been together for almost five years. We have a place together and plan to get married in the next few years since i've met him he's been in this group of friends made up of two girls and two boys they've known each other since uni so have now been a group for

over 10 years right okay two of them live together outside london and one of the girls lives in london my boyfriend and her used to travel together to see the other two and would even sleep in the same room uh-oh he also confessed that he tried to kiss her once in a nightclub when she was single and very drunk but either she turned away or hasn't even noticed so like she tried to kiss him and she like he's trying to blag it off that she didn't notice that he tried to kiss him so it wasn't a rejection like what the first time i met her she was hosting a party and had chocolate fountains for it i was sat between them and she was she literally fed her a marshmallow dipped in chocolate over me in my face oh no she always mentions how long their friendship is and things like oh i used to organize his

birthdays in uni no no she is a flirty person and drinks a lot wears revealing clothes and touches men on their arm chest when she talks to them oh flirty flirty girl that sounds like me that's a joke by the way

I don't do that can't really think I should become a bit more flirty though there's always those like sexy girls that just, you know, like, I hate using this word, but it's like, they're just a bit of a cock tease. Do you know what I mean? I am the opposite, opposite personality. And this is clearly painful for me to watch every time we meet her.

We see them around once a month and she has a boyfriend of two years now, who she lives with. But I kept this in for a very long time and it won't stop bothering me. My boyfriend understands to some extent but considers a lot of what she does normal or just what she's like. I find it disrespectful and struggle with not having his full support. She is always sat next to him, always very uncomfortably close. What are your thoughts on that i don't think i have a friend that would like that is that i've never i've never had like another girl where i've

been like essentially threatened by that like makes it pisses me off in a friend like do you know what i mean i wouldn't like her feeding like no feeding when you've just met met them and i also wouldn't like her being like oh I did this for his birthday I was like okay yeah we get it you used to be mates yeah last time we saw her she told me how good a girlfriend I am because I let him go out without me I don't really I don't I don't really I just leave early because I yeah I know I don't really I just leave early because I can't handle this for long she can't handle going out that long yeah for, she can't handle going out for the long long nights. He thinks I should take her for a coffee and talk about it.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Honestly, the thought of ever having her at my wedding kills me, but ruining a 10-year friendship group is also not an option, I agree. I will add that I'm a very open person in terms of talking about my personal life, while she gets extremely awkward if you ask her anything personal. That's strange.

You'd think the opposite. Not sure how great a coffee and a chat would go. Would love to hear your thoughts. Right. So, weird that she's a closed off book, even though she's this big, loud, flirty. But you know what? That's because it's all a facade. It's all a facade.

It's all a facade. This is textbook. Textbook. Mate, she's just a facade it's all a facade it's all a facade this is textbook textbook mate she's just jealous she's a bit insecure she covers it up with this you know flirty behavior touching let it go let it go she is she's not she's not harming anything i know it pisses you off but you know what you've just got to almost look at her with a bit of sympathy and be like you know i kind of feel sorry for you but you're part of this friendship group she's clearly also in a happy relationship she also doesn't sound like she's a bad person you know what i mean she just sounds like a bit of a cocktease as you says yeah it's frustrating i'm trying to work out right what would piss me off okay it doesn't piss me off when someone's cocktease i'm like lol i can't read it yeah yeah what would piss me off is Jamie reacting to it like

I'd be like don't you dare take that I'd be like use your fingers no imagine I'm sorry imagine you're at a party this is the first time I'm meeting all his friends and one of the girls just covers it in chocolate you're sat here in between reaches over you and feeds it to him and he eats it I'd be like you I'd be like are you okay spit that out yeah i'd be like disgusting spit that out right i just think you need it it's more him like is he reacting i get it it's a bit weird but it just sounds like she's a bit jealous and she probably was like his best best friend the only girl in his life yeah and then you've come in so she's also a bit jealous yeah i would honestly just let it fizzle out.

I bet the more and more you spend time with each other the more you'll get to know her. You'll get more comfortable. You'll break her down. She doesn't sound bitchy to me. She doesn't sound bitchy. She just sounds like a cock tease.

She just sounds like a cock tease and it would piss me off if someone was doing stuff like that and touching my boyfriend all over in front of me. I'd be like, ugh. I'd just be like,

oh, Susan, can you not please? Susie, give it a rest. Come on, Suze it in get off my boyfriend he's mad i would just joke it like be like get off him he's mine and then like maybe get with it or something i don't think i'd give a fuck i don't think i'd why she was really fit then it'd be a different story no if j if i could you can tell if your boyfriend's into it or not yeah yeah yeah you can tell so if i could sense he was into it i'd be like this is not okay i'm trying to think if there is there a type of boy that would just like and that i know that jamie would entertain it he wouldn't be like get away from me no but then he would like look at you

and be like yeah no and then he'd laugh and like almost include you in on the joke yeah do you know what I mean he'd be like oh very sexy from me Suze and then like laugh at you Suze's such a mess why am I saying Suze I think it's because there was a girl at school I think yeah Suze old Suze oh no I know her name is actually something else but I had to just cover up with another name so there is no Suze so you have just made up suzy i was about to say lizzie then i realized how disrespectful that was because obviously that's the queen's name so i changed it to suzy suzy god every suzy now i know that number saucy suzy i think just just honestly don't be threatened she's obviously just slightly jealous probably wants the attention probably

misses him as a best friend i'm like just trying to it's an alpha female thing it's like who's the bigger alpha exactly what it is just let it just she's trying to own the room yeah just let it be and then sometimes you'll just creep on top yeah at the end of the day you're going home with this man exactly you're living with this man he's all yours it would be a different situation if she was single like she's in a relationship she's in a relationship she sounds happy and you know what she's covering something up with this facade she's a closed book maybe next time you're in a group scenario really try and break her down but in like really like friend her up like become her bestie yeah i don't know why i kind of don't mind the sound of susie she sounds quite fun i love how she's like i want to be friends i love how she's like oh god you're such a nice girlfriend that's such a backhanded

compliment you're such a nice girlfriend you go home and let him go out on his own it's so funny i actually quite rate that all right we've got dilemma three this one's a short one hey girlies i've been dating my boyfriend for around a year and I've never had an orgasm. Not even close. Also, I've never been able to reach orgasm on my own, so I wouldn't put it down to my attraction for him

or any other factors in our relationship. However, he obviously thinks it has something to do with him and I do think it gets him down. Oh, no. She can't even fake one. I was going to say just fake it till you make it but she's never had one situation you know how to do okay right i know reaching orgasm is mostly mindset thing but i feel a lot of pressure because behind it because we have been together for a while and he really

wants to make it happen and this obviously isn't helping what would you advise me to relax into things and start the magical journey towards that orgasm i don't know enough about this i'm not a doctor but i do think some people hopefully this isn't you but i do think there is some people that is impossible so there might be something else like you obviously those people surely and i don't know i don't know enough about it but i i've got hope that you're gonna have an orgasm yeah i think you'll be fine also like sex and intimacy can be really good even without, like, having an orgasm. As girls, we don't have it every single time we have sex like boys do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's still, like, a wonderful thing, right? So, I don't know. But I can understand that he wants to make it happen. Why are boys so weird about that? Right, so we've just had confirmation. It's one in three women can't have an orgasm or don't have an orgasm. I mean, I've faked it a million and one times. Oh, we've all faked it.

Sometimes she's so mad. Love a good fake orgasm. Yeah. You know you burn more cows doing a fake orgasm than you do having a real one. Oh, stop. As if you don't do. You do. There's more effort going into it.

There you go, you'll be so skinny. You just keep faking. All those fake orgasms. Right, so look. There you go. There must be such i would like google it research it have a google go and see some holistic people there's also like things like maca powder horny goat weed like all these things which help you become horny and like get

all of those juices maybe get your hormones checked because that might actually be something to do with it you might have like a bit of a hormone imbalance i think hormones do have a lot to do with it actually do you think no i think it would be like a muscle what is it what the hell is it a clitoris is that not how you look house my clitoris does not look like that oh god i think i don't know but is it a muscle what the hell is it what the hell is it that makes it like a nerve a nerve i think it's a nerve what's a clitoris that's good i think it's a nerve well it's just gonna say a clitoris is the pleasure center of the vulva it doesn't have a central and reproduction like the penis vagina it's pretty much just there to make you feel good lovely thanks whoever made thank you

oh here we go it's spongy tissue that becomes swollen when you're aroused what i have no idea also the word aroused is just right. It swells up. Ew! What the fuck? Mate, hold on. So we swell up down there when we're turned on. And we have no idea. Right, okay. Don't want to be turned on ever again after hearing that. So going back to it,

I think you've got to go speak to a specialist. Go find YouTube channels, all of these different things. It's obviously so common. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. And there are so many things, like I said, like maca and horny goat meat and all these different things it's obviously so common yeah i'm sure yeah and you know there are so many things like i said like maca and horny goat meat and all these different things and oysters and all those things i don't know if they work but like avocado dark chocolate

yeah all of these stimulants i would start with maybe going to see like tantric massage oh good idea yeah yeah there's lots of little things that you can do i would say to your boyfriend who's obviously like becoming insecure about it because i i get that he wants to like make you feel great whatever be like look the sex is so unbelievable even though I'm not orgasming I don't even know what I'm missing out on I've never been able to do it to myself please don't make it a thing like I love having sex with you so much it feels unbelievable yeah yeah yeah reassure him make him feel like he's just like know, a god in bed and he'll be fine. Yes.

And it's true, you obviously do really enjoy it. Okay, I hope that helps and I'm really sorry you're going through that, but I honestly think you're going to be absolutely fine. I think you'll be absolutely fine. Don't worry. Loads of people don't have one. Single diaries. Single diaries. So as we kind of discussed, I've taken a step back from, like crazy on the dates and just being, I'm like comfortable being alone now. So I actually wanted to tell a funny story.

So one of the guys I went on a date with, who's just beautiful, he's kind of like in my friendship group, mutual friends, whatever, they like set us up. And he asked one of my guy friends, like, oh, I'm going to, where's a good first dates for, like in like the Chelsea kind of area. And he goes to Feeney, told him the Feeneys. He's like, oh, okay, let's go to Feeney. Obviously I was kind of like,

oh, that's quite sweet. It's like the Feeney, just because guys, for the sake of like Made in Chelsea, like film there a lot. And it's quite a like Made in Chelsea, like funny place to go, right? Like it's a lovely, lovely pub. But I think because we film there a lot, it's quite like made in chelsea like funny place to go right like it's a lovely lovely pub but i think because we film there a lot it's like very kind of made in chelsea anyway so off the date he obviously like told the boys who he

was on the date with and they were like why did you take it to the phoenix like you should have told me it was melissa you were taking to the phoenix i would not have sent you then he was like you might as well have just gone to the bloody bluebird and now it's such a joke joke. Every time I see that French kid, they're like, how's the feeny? How's the feeny? And it's just like, oh, no. I wouldn't have even put two and two together with that. I guess you would have bumped into loads of people, probably. I don't know.

It's just like quite, like, I guess it's like quite stereotypical. Yeah, it's a very major task. And now, like, all the boys are, like, bullying him. And it's just quite funny. Not bullying him, like, obviously. Does he just know that it's just done? Like, there's no more dates with him like have you continued texting yes he does know that it's done well because I then had another boy that I was dating that I

then did you tell him or did you just saw him oh I know I think that maybe was a bit savage but he's fine he's cool cool. He doesn't care. Okay, fine. He's a stunning boy. He gets whoever he wants. He's not upset about it. Okay, fine, fine, fine. For you. Okay, bride or bridezilla.

I want to move the Fast Night location to Sotagrande. And it's really stressful because the place that I want doesn't have availability on that night. Shit. Well, you can't do it then. Oh, maybe i just don't do the first night but we're doing a huge third day now so maybe it'd be better just having that and then all of us bridesmaids will have to do a lovely dinner at my house i can't really cancel it i'll lose the deposit so that's my don't cancel it let's just state it state it schlep all the way over to my bear it's 40 minute drive oh my god that's literally like going to Soho.

Yeah, you're right. It's nothing. I think I'm overthinking it, guys. You're overthinking it. Sorry, this is your wedding. But I'm like, no, I won the dinner before. I won it all. I do won it all.

I'm so excited. When are we next going to have the second Rise Mates fitting? Because I want to do that again. I was like, that was the best day ever. Maybe we do it Christmas time and have like a lovely Christmas lunch. Yeah, lunch. Oh my God, a Christmas lunch.

Should we go to the Harvard Arms or somewhere like that? I've never been there. Neither have I, desperate to go. Okay, we'll book it then. Okay, guys, we love you. I'm going to vote my rate by ballooning. She drank that whole thing. It was delicious.

And I'm going to rate it an eight because I've not had a Bucks version I'm going to rate my coffee that spilled all over my legs a lovely six

should be a two it spilled all over your legs well it wasn't the coffee spilled it tasted nice okay love you guys bye

love you bye Fanduel Casino's exclusive live dealer We'll be right back. Winning in an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Do you have business insurance?

If not, how would you pay to recover from a cyber attack, fire damage, theft, or a lawsuit? No business or profession is risk-free. Without insurance, your assets are at risk from major financial losses, data breaches, and natural disasters. Get customized coverage today starting at $19 per month at zensurance.com. Be protected. Be Zen. That's it for this week, Wednesdays. Wednesdays but god don't you just fancy some more Melissa? Yeah I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what

happens. Well then tinies we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio