Wednesdays - Ep 78: I'm the other woman!

Episode Date: October 11, 2022

Hey friends, today we're chatting allll about the Beckham reunion, silly string, and EXTREME dating criterias!! We also have a rather interesting education on fleshlights... Hope you enjoy! Love from S & M xxToday we are drinking a lovely Palais Constance RoséSophie Rating- 8.5Melissa Rating- 8 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either, and we're not psychologists. We're not. We're not experts in anything. In fact, we just chatted all the shit. And we love giving you guys advice. We love giving you guys advice.

Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help. Yo. What up, dogs? Oh, I thought your little trainers have little flowers on them, but they don't. They've got little colours on the thing. I know, quite sweet. Multi-coloured little strands. I know, really cute.

Where are the jeans from? Lovely. H&M. I've worn them loads before. They're the same as all my other ones. Oh, she's just like an H&M jean girl. I'm actually wearing an H&M coat. What? It's a real wool. It's like one of their like slightly nicer premium. I might take it off.

Actually, it's a bit warm. Yeah, you need to take it off. We also look really weird in the videos when we've got our big coats on. Guys, just us being the wine queens that we are, it's eight minutes to 10 and we are about to drink a rope glass of rosé. I mean, don't think I have the whole thing, but we're doing it so we can feedback you.

Okay, well, let's just go. It's called, I can't. I always do the pronunciation. You've got to try. Pallas Costanz. And it's Gistard guy. That's his Instagram handle. Who's that?

I'm going to have a look he's like a very funny like tiktoker search me again just start g s t a a d guys and it's his wine okay going in for the kill team thursday morning thirsty thursdays smells smells honestly delicious i'm gonna have a gorgeous wine with me i just had a proper go you really did you went for that that is honestly delicious is it nice have a gorgeous wine with me i just had a proper go you really did you went for that that is honestly delicious is it nice in your wedding wine no i can't say whether it is or it isn't that is that is stunning oh i hear a lot of me too i'm like yeah i'm hideous i'm horrible as well i've got chronic dry mouth so i'm a little bit hung over and i'm having a coffee guys should

we should we put like a tally up of how many podcasts melissa starts with saying she's hungover oh i don't know why i do it no stop it was only wine last night which was wonderful and then there was no not jaeger bombs what are they red bull with the bomb in them red bull with jaeger meister wait so you knock them back and then you're like bed byes gotta go is that horrible i just wouldn't sleep like i'd be lying in bed like you know apparently it's really bad for you because like the red bulls like speed yeah and now it's like your body doesn't know what to do yeah yeah yeah not good not good for the heart not good not good a lot of things aren't good for people aren't they okay listen up people listen up pounds don't i really want to have

like a name for our wednesday people like our listeners like what should we call you the clang um not the clang like the um the crew the wednesday crew the wine we're so unoriginal right you send us in what we what what our community should be called what should we call you we need like a really cool name yeah like batman do you know what i mean obviously not batman but like something cool yeah something that only we know we're talking about yeah so many things to talk about there's so many things going on in the world let first of all the mo Molly made gender reveal as a girl. Did I call it or did you?

You did call it. You said it would be a boy. Yeah, I did. We all had that. I knew it would be a girl because it was going out or in. What's the difference? No, apparently that's bullshit. It feels like the shape of the bumps is slightly different,

but I don't really believe that that's the case. It's so wholesome. I'm so happy for her. Same. I feel like she's my friend. I think so. Apparently, she put out a black and white video. I don't know, on her Instagram or something,

on TikTok, that was the gender reveal, but it was in black and white, so obviously no one could see. Some tech geek guru turned it back into color, and then the whole world knew it was a girl, so that it was pink. There's no privacy is there yeah but also like she should have been smarter than to face that like why would you do it in gray anyway you're basically saying i know but you guys aren't

gonna know is that the situation maybe she was like gender reveal coming in a few weeks then did the black and white or something i don't know no she really thought that through as well and then it just got through cut pieces and thrown back in her face anyway sweet little girl it's probably exactly like him what do we think i think blonde big brown eyes oh wait but she tommy's got really blue eyes and he's really dark they're literally polar opposite yeah they are i think she might have blue eyes i feel like tommy's got some strong strong genetics there yeah it's gonna be a tall girl no i don't think it'll be that tall he's really tall is he not yeah but she's quite petite i think i think he'll be a small girl i think it will have blue eyes blue eyes and blonde hair yeah you look like her little face yeah yeah her little face just with his eyes

that's gorgeous stunning absolutely stunning can we talk about bella and the spiral dress oh my god stunning i just don't really understand i thought it was cool and i thought it was a risk no i think it was so sick i thought the whole thing was so sick i just don't understand how it turned how it turned into like that i think it was like very clever i kind of know the material like i'm picturing it like you know that city spray that you go yeah yeah yeah nice drink yeah city straight what was that and why i don't know but you said about my mom used to get so annoyed if any of us would spray it but why did we have it i also have used it before well it's just a kid's thing isn't it it's like this weird do you remember oh my god this is

taking us back do you guys remember those freaking weird eggs where the alien would yes my favorite thing what the hell and someone used to tell me if you put them in the fridge they'll have a baby no mine was if you put them in like water or something they would have a baby so you they did have a baby didn't mine never had a baby i had a baby what the fuck i never got the monkey trees what were they like these monkeys would grow what the fuck was that no yeah the aliens were like real vibe back in the day like those aliens they were magical they were magic and i also heard that if you put like the two backs next to an alien they would also have a baby if you put them

in the fridge why is this the fridge thing but i don't think i ever had that anyone else hear these weird rumors about so when you put it in one water did it pop a baby out yeah mine had a baby shut the fuck up wait guys i'm gonna have to repurchase can we get one do you think they still exist and what was the i got them from a weird shop called like the entertainer i got them from a really weird shop which you get halloween outfits yeah yeah yeah like wigs yeah yeah and i used to go in there and if they did they sold out end of the universe yeah yeah it was over it was giving someone talked to me about this monkey man like what was it i'm gonna i don't know i think you're thinking of sea monkeys i am they're like fish they're fish wait wait wait wait i'm sure they're not real fucking monkeys woman i know they're not

they're fish but you grew them in water yes oh wait i thought they were little monkeys that go on your finger and i was like please mine never grew did i kill all my fish i honestly think they hatch they hatch in the water something they're called sea monkeys but like you could also buy them from like the halloween shop you could weirdness lots of weirdness back wait so they were now it's all about peppa pig it's not about the aliens anymore now it's all about like tiktok yeah sad isn't it i'm so happy we lived in the era of the same i used to go into my garden i remember this the other day and part of my garden was like really like enchanted and had like a really low like willow tree oh lovely and i used to think fairies lived there and i

would give the trees i thought the trees were their homes so i'd give the trees face masks and i would get my mom's mop and i would put the mud from the ground because you know mud yeah yeah i put that with water and then i get the mop and i would mop the tree so all the trees were just covered in like dry mud oh my god you're so sweet sweet. You know what I used to do? This is so weird and so savage. I used to, I was, we wouldn't have any pets. So I used to get worms from the garden. I hate worms.

And you know those like old like containers, like Chinese containers that my mum would like keep and reuse for like various bits and pieces. Oh yeah, Chinese sacred containers. Yeah, yeah. So I would take them, put all the worms, stamp on the floor so it wouldn't make worms think it's raining. The worms would come up. I would wait hours. This is a big operation. You would take them, put all the worms, stamp on the floor so they make the worms think it's raining. The worms would come up.

I would wait hours. This is a big operation. With your finger, you would pick them up. Put them. No, no, no. And then I thought I was being really sweet by giving them a bath. I would put boiling water and washing up liquid in the container and wash the worms. Obviously, they're like freaking dying.

No, I would like pour in the hot water i'm so sorry an evil child i obviously didn't know what i was doing oh no of course i don't know if my mom just sort of let me do it she's all blessed she probably was like oh get rid of the worms i'm so sorry i feel like worm lovers they're not my favorite animals oh my god obviously with the moment i found out i was probably killing them i stopped i mean i definitely was killing burning them alive i'm horrible shaking them you're like the girl from nemo oh god i like that probably oh no okay right enough of the chat okay victoria beckham and brooklyn apparently and nicola all

best friends again i mean i never really think that neither did i think it was all press and i think maybe or maybe something happened with the brooklyns and they tried to you know how apparently anything bad press comes in with the back the beckham sorry they try and they give out some other press about them to like distract you never know yeah yeah yeah it's a trade-off trade-off yeah because you know david apparently just does that with everything because he's like literally the biggest you know the he brings in the most cash with press so he can just be like yeah let me give you this some doubt on me here i'll do me a favor and don't talk about this imagine the power you have like he could just be gallivanting doing whatever

not he gets the fame with the privacy as well in a sense so what a life yeah i wonder how you but then surely kim mckay would do that i know i was just thinking that you never know they probably do maybe i could go on story time okay right story time we've we started to do this guys because it's really jokes okay hey girls love the pod story time oh my god i met a girl at a house party and we got chatting about dating and she mentioned that she had a criteria for for date two with guys so like the second date they oh it has to be a certain okay fine right they had to meet all of her criteria to make it to date three.

I was intrigued, so I asked her what was on her list. She pulled up her notes on her phone. She then read out this humongous list. And because I was so drunk, I was like, yeah, yeah. You're onto something that all makes so much sense. And I asked her to send me the list. That's so what I would do. Same, I'm like, yeah, yeah, that totally makes sense.

Yeah, I'd be be like send me now airdrop it to me now i'm sober i'm reading it i'm convinced she's never going to make it to the third date here's the list what do you think okay right we've got we've got the list here i'm scrabbling down wow oh my god it's huge oh no also you missed it's also split into must have and nice to have oh my god that's so funny okay right so the must have by the way we're just gonna skim through and read some of the best because otherwise we'd literally there's honestly this is the biggest list i've ever seen this isn't right this is the must haves and we're gonna we just we're wet on it down uses knife and fork correctly not too hairy not too hairy loves my

podge doesn't use text language wait what's podge fat oh lovely okay understands the importance of stroking likes doing things so so specific good at foreplay definitely a main crime that's a must-have doesn't work in media eats quietly i agree with that one not a. All the politics are flooding in. Doesn't overthink things. I mean, doesn't overthink things. Tall. Doesn't give in too easily in an argument, which I so agree with.

There's nothing worse than someone who's just weak in an argument. You're like, fight me back. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm like, fucking fight me back. Rugby, not football. Oh, it's not, it's not an only child. Not a gamer.

Not obsessed with YouTube. Oh, Jamie's written. Jamie's failed on the last two. Oh, hold on. Loves, loves a PDA. Oh my God, these are so funny. Okay, right. Then we have the nice to have, would be nice to have list.

Oh God, sorry. We need to read this one. Not a Trump supporter and is a feminist. Would be nice. Okay, right. Let's read this. This is the nice to have, but it's not a necessity this list okay you can play the guitar no stop i'm absolutely diseased doesn't use emojis

likes people watching god i could i wish i could read them all out to you because they're absolutely hilarious i mean look oh no no no no vice good presence nice muscles slash i so agree these are all lovely nice to have some of the nice little gestures e.g flowers because it's tuesday chocolate when i'm sad nice notes god she's not asking for much she's dedicated to the cause she really is that to my friend she's written not overthinking that my friend is overthinking that is just so funny like that is she must when she goes on dates just be like quick file questions here we go right and can't meet you no she already has a form hands the form over right but please just tick or um cross if you

have these and if they um apply to you moving on to our dilemmas okay my boyfriend has forgotten my birthday and it's my 30th oh what would you do i love your podcast and find you guys hilarious thank you we love you too i love you oh god that was intense oh my god that was on i love you i love you i don't know where that where that came from but i do um that's quite savage a 30th i would be i would lose my shit i would really be upset well for a start be like mate it's my fucking birthday yeah for a start just i mean there's nothing you might be planning a surprise oh we don't wanna i'd wait till the next day i've written it maybe speak to his mom or something maybe speak to his family and be like no i'd make them feel so guilty

and go the whole day without saying a thing and then the next day be like it was my birthday so they don't have any chance to redeem themselves you're an evil girl

and then I'd be like the next day like you missed my birthday hold on a minute surely people are posting when you're like posting you like letters

not letters cards surely you're aiming for presents surely people are putting things on Instagram surely you guys have like planned your 30th like 30th like the big 3o well surely you might be doing a surprise i think he's gonna surprise you but what what we can't ruin the surprise but then equally if he has maybe you need to write in because your 30th would have happened by the

time you've read this so i need to yeah we need to know what happened with this please but if he has completely forgotten you have ever had to be like honey it's my 30th yeah you need to make it up your shit you need to make it up to me i'm expecting double the presents i would be really really double the cakes double the parties because you forgot yeah a whole week of birthday it's always birthday month for me oh god that should start for me now then oh my god it's so sad i know melissa's missing on the birthday i honestly can't bear it at least we're celebrating right before a few days before okay okay okay dilemma two hey guys love the pod i have a dilemma just for context i'm 22

i was a student in cardiff and have been on placement in Cardiff this month, but don't live there anymore. I've been single since January after a three and a half year relationship ended. We were living together and my ex moved out. Honestly, I surprised myself with how well I dealt with it and I was happy alone. Fast forward to June. I started dating again and have been on a few dates with different people over the time. I've been using dating apps and want to be the girl that texts loads of boys at once but i've just found it really hard and i've been ghosted a couple time learned i really hate rejection and rejection and can't cope with it at the end of august i was in cardiff moving out of my flat and matched with a guy nearby on tinder i went back home to my mom's for a couple weeks

and we were texting a lot after a week we began calling and now we tend to call once or twice a week often for four hours wow god that's intense he's from wales but goes to uni in bristol and was working a lot while at home i have been back in cardiff so not too far from him last week it looked like we meet up might meet up but it fell through because he went to go and see his grandma we've talked so much and i feel like i know him quite well and we seem to get on over the phone he has occasionally suggested that i'm the only girl he's talking to and we talked about past relationships etc but he's back in uni in bristol now and me being the stalker that i am i notice his follower numbers go up on instagram so i then checked his tinder and he's changed his cover picture so back obviously back using tinder and speaking to other girls he's the only guy i'm

speaking to so naturally that made me feel a bit weird i know i shouldn't have feelings for someone i've not even met yet but i really like him i feel like an idiot who's just been used to entertain him whilst he's at home before going back to uni i want to meet up with him before i go back to my mum soon but i don't want to ask because i hate rejection i'm scared he'll say no what should I do? Thanks so much. I think your gut intuition is speaking to you and he probably is speaking to other girls. 100%. And if he wanted to see you, he would have seen you by now.

Tough love. 100% he's speaking to another girl. You gotta cut the ties now. You've gotta just like, you don't, to be fair, you don't have any right to be annoyed at him. He's not doing anything wrong. Yeah. Just like off a bit don't get you know stop messaging do not

message him first you can reply just try and like direct don't be so deep into it i know you've obviously got feelings but you can get you can cancel those feelings i also so agree that you can develop feelings like oh i'm not sure i can people on the phone like I also so agree that you can develop feelings over speaking to people on the phone. I can so get that, but you will get over it so quickly. Give it a week and you won't even think twice about the bloke again. I also think sometimes it's like loneliness

when you do things like this. You're just feeling like, yeah, it's just a bit of comfort when you go to bed at night and you're like, oh yeah it's just a bit of comfort when you go to bed and you're like oh lovely have a nice phone call the boy yeah 100 i think you can't speak to him again if he speaks to you you can reply like you don't you don't need to be angry with him like he's really not done he hasn't done anything wrong he's not done anything wrong even if he has said to you oh you're the only girl i'm speaking to he doesn't actually owe you anything do you know

what i mean not even mad it's fine you know he's probably dating other girls at uni as well like meeting them and you know like kind of he should be he's single and you guys yeah i think that you need to um but i gag you've obviously like i'm kind of like that when i like somebody i don't like to talk to other people like i just don't see the tunnel vision i just yeah i'm kind of tunnel vision so i get that totally but i think you've got to just call off now and he'll probably try and see you and if it's meant to be it will be exactly i don't think it sounds right if i'm being honest it all just sounds a bit itty bitty four hours is quite a long time to talk as well i know what are you talking about for four hours i don't have that much conversation in me

not me i'll be like gotta go to bed now oh yeah yeah, shut up. I'd be like, I'm off. Yabbering away in my ear. All night long. Yap, yap, yap. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling,

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19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Okay, right. Dilemma three. Oh, he got a big one. This is literally a fucking novel.

Hey girls, first of all, love the podcast. You girls really, really give me boss bitch vibes. So about two slash three years ago, me and this man, I've always had a crush on started speaking it was always a slow burner a few cheeky messages here and there fast forward a year later we reconnected and a while after that i found out him and his long-term on-off girlfriend were pregnant he was not with her when she fell pregnant but she's a few years older than him and they decided to keep the baby lovely we would have secret meetings and just chat about everything

but nothing physical ever happened despite loads of tension being there and a lot of flirt flirting over messages fast forward a few months i moved down to another city and he was here on business and we just slept together and we slept together wait wait wait is he your girlfriend and a baby no she well he's got an on-off girlfriend and she's now pregnant and they're keeping the baby they're having the baby together so i'm assuming that he's got an on-off girlfriend and she's now pregnant and they're keeping the baby and they're having the baby together. So I'm assuming that he's kind of back with this girl that's pregnant. Okay, we slept together. It was honestly magical.

And he sent me the loveliest message and we just got closer. A few weeks later, I found out I'm pregnant. Oh my God. No, no, plot test, plot test. This is a Khloe Kardashian situation. This is crazy, okay. A few weeks later, I found out I'm pregnant I was

so worried and anxious to tell him but he listened and called me every day what the fuck said we're on the same page though right however he'd support me whatever I decided as he should god he's got two babies on the way he lives away and I was completely alone during this time luckily he was down in the city for a wedding and we met up hooked up again I know I'm awful and I felt so happy being around him and I wanted nothing nothing to ruin what we had going on we kept saying how perfect we were for each other blah blah blah but as if I could have had a child to a man with a family after sleeping with him once I went through the procedure alone as he had to go back to his family and never offered to stay with me either told me he didn't want to have things fizzle out but was always honest about his situation however made it sound like the relationship he currently was in was due to their

child and was dysfunctional fast forward a lot of ups and downs lovely messages and cries I went oh my god bless you I went back home where he lives for a few weeks in the summer his family was away and we met up at their home I am awful times two I know right so she's gone over to the house that he lives in with that with his girlfriend and the baby so she's gone over however I hadn't seen him since last being pregnant went through everything alone with no support from my friends as I told nobody except one friend who lives away and just wanted that comfort he told me he thought about what our baby would have been like all the time and if I could go back would I have changed my decision

alongside saying how much he's thought about me blah blah blah this sounds very toxic to say that after you've gone through that whole thing a week after he's on holiday with his family and totally vanishes I wait a month and a half until I reach out to see how he is and he asked about my new job etc but then he vanished again he does this often always has often always has taken ages to reply and I've always accepted it's due to him having a family and potentially trying to keep distance yeah after the holiday he went on and me reaching out he replied in a really flirty and engaged way and sounded so happy to hear from me i did pass a small comment about him vanishing on me and he just said i was funny and not to overthink it i go through

emotions of hating him and just missing him wishing he was more transparent i'd have always understood had he had said he wanted to settle with his family and put them first as I knew the situation at the start. I never contacted his partner or friends or family as I didn't want to ruin his life, but can't help but feel so pissed at how subpar he is and the lack of respect. I've always played it super cool and didn't want to be that girl who trapped him and ruined his life by having a baby, but I can't help but now feel I made a huge decision based on my feelings towards someone else not entirely myself. I don't know whether to send him a message speaking about how I feel or just leaving it and seeming unbothered and then just ghosting him when he messages in the future to tell me he's in the

city or is bored and wants some sparkle from me. I really am not a bad person it was just such a fuck situation I really struggle to believe I'll feel the same way towards anyone else thank you so much for reading this p.s he's about eight years older than me and his partner is 10 years 10 years older than her i guess 10 years older than me i'm 25 and they're around 35 wow okay um for a start i don't think this is right and I don't think you know it's right because you've even said I'm not a bad person so I think you know personally I understand that what you've gone through is hard and I understand you have emotions and feelings and we're all human and you you know you obviously went through the pregnancy and it was really tough but ultimately he has a child and a family and you have pursued or have agreed or continue to have an affair with him and I think it's not right it's

not right you have feelings you're putting yourself you're convincing yourself you even know that he's doing it just because he wants some sparkle from you like he goes he disappears he he goes away to be with his family he just picks you up and drops you when he wants he doesn't even support you you know you had got pregnant just after he's had a baby with somebody else like don't put yourself through this he's an absolute arsehole every word i could use under the sun i don't like him i don't like him at all and he doesn't deserve to have two women fighting over him or wanting him or him like that his current girlfriend or wife or baby they deserve so much better than this yeah and if you were in her position would you want i think i mean you know what you have to do like what else can you do you're not going to break them up like

you need to stop communicating with him don't don't send him a message delete his number block his number and move on from that entire chapter of your life yeah you are 25 you are 25 you're so young and he we will make mistakes he can drag you it sounds like he will be willing to drag you through the mud like this for forever yeah because you're just letting him do it yeah you literally know that you're the other woman and you're like sort of okay with it you i mean don't message him again don't you dare message him again don't you dare he's the devil and if he messages you ignore it delete it block put it in the archive i would block and delete there's no reason for you ever to speech this human being ever again ever again and the manipulation of him saying things to you like oh

if you'd kept the baby that is i'm sorry he's a vulgar vulgar man i just can't even begin to explain and he he knows exactly what he's doing he's's also got another little, he's got a little baby at home. How is he doing this to that child? He's an actual psycho. I hate it. I hate him. I hate him. And you're better than this.

You're stronger than this. You're 25. You're going to meet the man of your dreams. You're going to be a boss bitch. You can just do things for yourself. Don't let this horrible piece of shit ruin your life or run you about or make you feel any other way and he's bringing you you're not a bad person because you know this is wrong he is because he doesn't know this is wrong he doesn't give a shit he knows it's wrong he's doing it anyway yeah i don't like it you can redeem yourself and be be the good person that

you know yeah and i if i was you in terms of like reaching out to like his partner I wouldn't do it because no there's no I don't actually see really any benefit no I would just leave it yeah yeah I mean I get it as in like you're like you want you're probably doing it from like a bitter side to be honest to ruin his life but I get like some people would be like maybe she should know but also like that's not your place and i think it would be a very different scenario if he'd slept with you and then you had no idea that he had a baby right yeah and a wife and you were like what the hell that's disgusting now i feel that i need to tell her like this is disgusting don't come near me again but i am going to tell your wife because she deserves to know

yeah this is different because you knowing me yeah you knew it was the situation for me yeah yeah yeah right not so single diary so single sorry you are so single for um single guys I've actually spoken to you about this before so I'm not like dating or seeing anyone at the moment but my friend Scott I've told Sophie and Jamie about this says has these all these really funny like sayings and things from people that have like hooked up or whatever on like one night stands and there's two so one of them is this guy I think it's one of his friends having sex so having sex with the girl and you know like when you're having sex you like just go into a bit of a trance sometimes and you like close your eyes, right? I close my eyes loads. Same!

I'm really concerned. I always close my eyes. Anyway. It's a bit awkward to like stare into the other person's eye for hello. Is that normal? I fucking close my eyes all the time anyway. So this girl closes her eyes and he's on top and he goes where you going the funniest thing i've ever had where you going she's like i'm really concerned that you're not meant to close i know and then what's the other one like

oh geez it's so funny oh yeah so another guy having sex with this girl i think one night stand and she's trying to be no i think it's a different guy she's trying to be like really sexy and she's like whose pussy is this and he goes yours yours she loves it whose pussy is this can you imagine can you imagine sophie saying that imagine if i was just such a beast in the bedroom is that what you say a freak and then a sheep freaking the sheets i'm not sadly wish it was who's pussy is yours i mean that's probably not

even that's imagine when you're having sex as our partner he's just so yours I'm also panicking who's can I say oh my god like Matilda's that's so funny what the fuck I think she wanted him to be like

it's mine baby yeah yeah yeah yeah sorry I got lost in translation there I also wanted to educate Sophie on something so

my friend was given a wonderful little tool for her birthday it was kind of a joke but obviously like she'll definitely use it it's called a womanizer okay so it's a huge it's like it's like a vibrator on steroids so it's like got this like suction thing that like that scares me that goes in your clip all right and then it has yeah it's like this little hole i've seen that they look like they're like temperature things that you put in your ears yes all right and then it has yeah it's like this little hole i've seen that they

look like they're like temperature things that you put in your ears yes it does and then it has this other thing that like goes like a dildo it's like this huge contraption anyway it's really expensive it's going to be like phenomenal but like those sort of things what i don't get is like if you're not completely on your clit you're it's just going to be like you're sucking part of my leg do you know what i mean like a dildo at least the vibrations like i don't know how it works go around your whole area like your vibe the vibration spreads but that it's like imagine it like sucks on the wrong bit you're just like no i i don't oh my god i don't think it sucks that much it's not like a suction pad where you're going to be like walking around it's going to be hanging off

you i'm fascinated I don't think anyway Anyway this woman You get it And let me know how it is It's like a hundred and something pounds I'm going to spend that on her Well there you go Also apparently it's so good

You never want to have sex again Well this thing with all toys I know this is the problem It's addictive Maybe people are going to tell me About a gaslight or something Okay so Sophie doesn't know What a flashlight is

So I'm pretty Flashlight Flashlight So I'm pretty sure flashlight so i'm pretty sure it's it's like a fake vagina that a man has sex with i don't know when a boy would ever really use that what the fuck so they just like get a vagina and they shag like a fake vagina yeah men are horrid i'm putting out here which i'm gonna google and suck up but they cannot flesh light what well guess we use a dildo it's kind of the same thing oh that's it uh uh why wouldn't they at least have

a v why is it like a fucking dildo with a vagina hole at the top ah i'm. That is absolutely vulgar. Sorry. I've just seen a picture of a really horrible penis come up on my phone using it. Oh my fucking God. How is that allowed on Google Images? I wasn't ready for that. Why was that?

That was pure shock. I wasn't ready for that. What's wrong with his dick? What is it? What is it? It's going into the fleshlight. What the hell, Melissa? You're acting like you just saw...

I don't know why that really took me by surprise. Anyway. Okay, me, bride or bridesmaid? She's been a bride. I think I've been a joy. I've been really slapped, let's be totally honest. She's been a mum to that puppy. I've been a mum. That's what I've this week, if I'm totally honest. She's been a mum to that puppy. I've been a mum.

That's what I've been. And my mum got a little dashing puppy. She's called Ida, which was my grandma's middle name. And she's the smallest thing I've ever seen in my life. She has green eyes. She's just precious. She's so tiny. So I've been a mum.

Sophie's a bit imprinted on the dog. Yeah, she thinks I'm her mummy. I also am so excited to get a dog in my life i cannot tell you the minute i get a garden boom it's happening but you're out the house all the time mate is gonna come with me in that little sling she didn't when she went there that small it's really easy yeah because they she doesn't move she's honestly like they're so easy she just wants to be on me the whole time she literally just stood by my feet if I ever put her down. She'd just be like. Oh, no.

Should we rate the wine? I'm going to say an 8.5. I'm going to say a 7.5. I really like the branding too. It's very lovely. It's very elegant branding. You can get it on a thing called Zap. I think that's only around in London.

But it's £21.99. So it's on the more expensive side. I think that's it for today, folks. I love you both. Bye, guys. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling. Winning.

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version of wednesdays now listen subscribers get access to the podcast ad free with bonus episodes it's pretty amazing it's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups which we love and some of our more personal stories and recommendations and it's super easy you just listen on your favorite app how cool is that amazing and all the info is in the episode description and in our insta bio