Wednesdays - “I got set up on a blind date… WITH MY EX” | DILEMMA DAY

Episode Date: August 13, 2026

TINIES!!It's DILEMMA DAY with Melissa Tattam and Ruby Adler! This week one sweet tiny has had everyone’s dating nightmare…she’s been set up with her ex!After one tiny gets the ick from her boyfriend, we deep dive into the history and ACTUAL origin of the ick. GIRLLLL, you will not believe who the first recorded ick was!PLUS, we give a lovely tiny our honest take on her catastrophic friendship fallout.Enjoy the episode x Got a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail] | https://www.instagram.com/wednesdayspodcast/TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail] CREDITSProducer: Faye LawrenceAssistant Producer: Issy Weeks-HankinsVideo: Lizzie McCarthySenior Social Media Manager: Laura CoughlanSocial Media Executive: Amber HouriganSenior Producer: Helen Burke Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, tiny's, it's time for us to tackle all of your dilemmas. Can I ask you one favour to subscribe to our YouTube channel at Wednesday's podcast? Let's get into your dilemmas. No. No. Trust Timothy. She's done, she did that for nine years. Didn't work.

It doesn't get you anywhere. I'm really shocked. This is weird. And I think it's weird. I feel like it's quite mean. What's yours? What's yours? Dilemma 1.

Timmy's reading a dilemma already. I'm like, stop. Sorry, no. And she was frowning at the paper. No. I made, I shouldn't have read that. Okay, stop. Erase your brain.

Dial number one now. Okay, ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen to me. Okay, it's our lemma one. Hey, girlie. Something happened to me at the weekend. The first thing I thought was to, I need to write to Melissa and Ruby.

Last year, me and my ex-boyfriend, Simon. We didn't name any names. Shit, I was not ready for that. Simon. Okay, Simon. Oh my God, broke up. We were arguing all the time and decided to call it quits after nine months together. That's early on.

be arguing that much. Yeah. Probably right position. Fast forward to now and I've moved to a new city, far from home. Recently, I got set up on a blind date by a girlfriend from work. She said her boyfriend's colleague is perfect for me. I don't usually like being set up, but I thought, fuck it, why not? Do you know that song?

Fuck it. Fuck it. Really gets me. I'm flirty, 30. I'm thriving. Absolutely you are. Yes, you are. I didn't have any contact with him before as my work friend arranged for us to meet a bar.

God, that's quite nerve-wracking. I don't know if I could do that. All I knew is that his name was Simon. Of course it was. I thought, what a coincidence. The same name as my ex. I can see where this is going. That was him.

I was fashionally late. And as I walked in, I was looking for the guy my friend had described. Suddenly I noticed the guy that looked a bit too familiar. Then I realized I've been set up on a blind date with my ex-boyfriend. We started crying with laughter at the situation. We decided to get one drink together, not as a date, but just for all time's sake. and we go our separate ways. In the last few days,

he has been messaging me nonstop asking you to go out again, what should I do? Avoid like plague. I would. You can't be arguing. Life's way too short. That's boring. I also think it's really easy to see things like when you've had all that time apart

and like you've had a drink or whatever like with rose tinted glass. Or maybe like things could be better. No. No. Trust me. Trust Timothy. She's done, she did that for nine years.

Didn't work. Doesn't get you anywhere. Doesn't get you anywhere. And also, I think it's quite nice that it's kind of then been left on like a good terms. It's frustrating you've moved to a new city and he seems to have followed you there. Yeah, I agree. And what the chances of that could also be the universe. I think you've got to get out there and explore, like go on some dates with people.

I think it's like important, like in the whole healing aspect and you just never know who you can meet. You'll go on a few dates where you're just like, don't want to see you again and that's fine and there's power and that. But then you like, you just never know. who you could meet and where that could lead you too. I feel like we've explored this already with Sam and like... And it didn't work. And it didn't work. And arguing all the time really drains you.

Yeah, it's not good for you either. It's bad. So what are you arguing about all the time? Yeah, I always think that. What? What? Yeah, tell us. But seriously, like...

What is there to argue about? I don't know what there is to argue about. I don't understand how people do it. I'm like, sometimes I want to argue too. It's not much to argue about. Yeah. Yeah. I guess you just disagree on like day-to-day things or like, I don't know. But I'm like at a certain point, you're 30 because you've said it here.

No. I agree, no. It's just draining and boring. And also it's only going to get worse. Like if you're arguing like that now, like it will, whatever you're arguing about will mount up and then it will become like, and then you know what? It'll be a year down the line and then you'll be like, I don't want to do this anymore. And then it's been another year of. Wasted time. arguing. I think like focus on you, get out there, enjoy, you know, get on some apps maybe. If you're

in a new city and you want to meet people, you're like, fun to have a window shop, don't necessarily need to go on the date with the first piece of person you speak to on an app, speak to other friends, see if they've got anyone that you want to meet. Also, if you just want to take a dating break, then just hang out with your friends loads, focus on what you want to do. And like, honestly, the right person will come along. You're not obviously also desperate to date because you're like your friend just set you up and you're like, yeah, fine. Don't really do this, but I'll do it for you. And that's quite lulls.

It's been your ex-boyfriend, but no. And I think we just, I feel like you're going to be the type of person where it just, like, it just falls into your lap. Yeah, I agree. Just have this feeling about it. And also, you're quite nonchalant about, you haven't once said, like, was so in love of my ex. Like, he was amazing. But we were just arguing all the time. I'm really attracted to him.

There's none of that. So I think this is quite easy for us to just draw a line in the sand and move on. And I feel like for you too, like for her, I feel like she's. Like don't go for a drink with him Because you're on your new place and your board Like let's Ew If you want to update us

Please tell us because we love a follow up We do Hi Ruby and Melissa Day 1 Tiny here Oh my God Thank you for holding on It's been a long time I know

Love you so much Okay I need help Because my boyfriend has given me the heck For fuck sake Oh god Last week Me and my boyfriend Of two years moved in together

We were so excited And planned a chill Sunday Which involved unpacking building IKEA furniture. That is so cute and I love that idea. It's like one of my most like perfect date. Because it's like building a home. Yeah.

Fucking love that shit. But a takeaway on the floor because your dining table's not done yet. Yes, I love it. So fun. Yeah. Okay. He had a typical manly response of don't worry I can do this myself. Do this by myself.

That's completely ruined the vibe. I popped to the shops and 45 minutes later he was still in the same spot and the wardrobe he was meant to be building was still. in pieces. He's not a doer. He was staring at all the pieces for ages, whispering to himself

about which bit went where and immediately gave me the egg. He immediately repulsed me. Oh God, that's a bit harsh. Cut to two weeks later and the wardrobe has finally been finished but I keep catching it in the corner of my eye while we're having sex

and I just think about him being confused by the instruction manual. It's got to be serious. How do I get him with the ick? Right, don't get him to build any more flat-pack furniture. No, don't. Pay a handy man to do it because that, I do get it. It's like, you know, it's like, why are you finding this so hard?

It's like a bit unmanly. It's like, just crack on with it. Just crack on. Get that Alan Key going. It's also like really unmanly furniture to build because it's literally like Alan Key. Or it's like, it just like tells you exactly how to do it. It's so easy. I think that there's like something attractive in just like doers as well,

someone that says they're going to do something. I think he was trying though. I think he just confused him. which is like, sweet angel, that would have confused Tobs. I don't, I think it would have probably confused Gab. Like, he's... I don't think it would have done. Really?

He doesn't give me that vibe. I think he would have been fine. I think he would have bought the furniture already built. That's the difference. Probably. Gav would have paid someone to do it. We wouldn't have this situation with Gab. No.

He definitely wouldn't trust me to do it. He'd be like, God, you won't get that done. You'd be better than me. I'm quite good with a DIY. Melissa is such a doer, loves a DIY. as a project, like... I do, then I have this thing where I'll start something and then I won't finish it, but that's a problem for another day.

But, DIY furniture, I just love it. At the moment, I'm obsessive with DIY, have you seen these peel and stick tiles on TikTok? Oh my God, do I want to redo in my kitchen? I just haven't. It's amazing, I'm going to send you after this. And all these transitions of girls, like, shitty bathroom floors, and they're just like...

Peel and stick? Chuck the thing, and then all of a sudden there's these, like, new tiles. Wow. And they peel, you know what I mean? They peel and stick them all over the floor and it's sensational. We have such different algorithms. Like, mine is just not peel and stick. What's yours?

I actually throw the cube card on the ground. Don't she feel and stick. No, no, I'm not. I think it's a wonderful idea and I can't wait to see your newly renovated kitchen. I got such a TikTok shop. It's great. Mine is more like, um... What is it?

Mine's a lot. I think ours would be similar. You have a good algorithm, I can tell. No, I have to see a lot of the, like, um... You get trends. Trend. And you get good celeb goss. You do.

I follow all the celeb goss pages and all that crap. Who's good to follow? Well, you told me about the Duke's Mou. What's it called? Oh, Des Moire. Duke's Mar. Dement. Dement.

Sensational. Cram to the cram. I have a lot of food stuff, recipes. Yeah, love that. Love watching someone make dinner. Love your me so god. Oh, good. That looked delicious.

It's amazing. Because I'm always thinking like what I'm going to. cook. I'm excited to actually get home and do some cooking. Anyway, that's another day. Sorry. Back to the ick. Yeah.

Like, I think just a solid piece of advice, don't order for my ear again. Yeah. It's just, it's just not worth it. No. Also, like, but also so hard, like, once you've got the ick, like, we've said this multiple times. Can we just talk about this word, the it for a second? It's a fairly new word.

This wasn't around five years ago. Lydia Atwood claims she made this word up, right, and said it on a thing. But then it also was mentioned in Sex and the City, which is true because I remember Sex and City fan, they did mention it, which was like before Olivia Harper's time. But I think she made it big, right? I thought Lucy Watson made it big and Maiden Chelsea way before Love Island came out. Maybe she did. We need to check the timing. Let's fact check.

But Lucy Watson, gal, when did you say that? I remember it so well her saying it, and I'm sure that Olivia Outwood said it after. Okay. So I want to say Lucy Watson was the person who brought the ick to our vocabulary. Oh my God, wait, okay, we had this is hot off the press. So I was right, Lucy Watson did say it first. So sorry, Olivia out with you aren't. Oh my God, I love that it's an MIS quote.

I know, iconic for us. Right, so Lucy, this is coming from the internet now, though. Lucy Watson is famously known for her trademark, the it list on Maiden Chelsea, where she had infamously strict dating standards, which we wrote. The phrase gained popularity when her ex Jamie Lane relentlessly pursued her but kept failing her tests. Oh my God, that's brilliant. And she was like, give me the it. It's now worldwide terminology.

It's she, I think it's in the dictionary. Well, because Jamie was the first it. Jimmy was the first ever ick. So's Jamie. Sorry, Jamie, but I'm glad we've kept that in the family. Same. I'm proud of us. I'm proud of us.

I'm proud of us. I'm proud of us. I've been on Maiden Chelsea because Lisa Watson brought the ick to, to our lives. I love it And as she said There's no coming back from the X So sorry babes Sorry babes

Return that Ikea Put the house in the market Maybe return the boyfriend to Yeah Go off Okay I'll move on to mine That I

She was reading and looking Sorry I just I actually couldn't help myself And I won't do that again Written all over your face Hi girls Longtime listener And first time writer

I'd love your advice Because I'm struggling With a friendship Fullout That feels so dramatic For my age But it's genuinely heartbreaking

I'm a 33 year old woman and until recently I had a close friendship group of women I've known for 20 years. A few weeks ago, I organised a dinner because I had some exciting personal news that I wanted to share, which is that I'm signing up for the army. This was a big deal for me and honestly my dream job. An hour before the dinner,

one of the girls suggested in the group chat that we cancel my dinner booking and instead go to another friend's house for a sleepover and Uber Eats, which is something we always do given the opportunity. But for me, the dinner was something special. I know. This is where I actually, I don't like it.

this. Most of the group agreed, so I cancelled the booking. I didn't, I know, I'm actually, I'm upset. I didn't feel like going anymore. So I told them to have fun and that I'd catch up with them another time. Instead of understanding why I was upset, they gave me the silent treatment for a couple of days and then made me feel like I was in the wrong for not coming. Since then, one of these friends who I was actually meant to be made of honour for has uninvited me from her hens because she says my presence would make the others feel uncomfortable. Oh, stop it. The rest of the group have pretty much gone quiet on me too. I'm struggling with the idea of having to make new friends at 33.

Any advice? I am shocked that this has been the reaction to you. I'm really shocked. This is weird. And I think it's weird. I feel like it's quite mean. And I feel like... This is bullying.

No one's given you any sympathy, empathy. Like, you wanted to go out and celebrate whatever news you'd received. And everyone who is your close friends should be championing that. And like, I don't, and then it should be quite obvious potentially why you don't want to go to someone's house for Uber Eats because you had a reservation booked. They should then be like, we get why you don't want to come and we're sorry that initial plan didn't happen. Also, they shouldn't have even suggested to change it in the first place. No, I don't think they should have. If one person suggested it, they should have been like, no, I think actually.

This is the initial plan. That's what she wants to do with. Zara really, really wanted to do this dinner. So, well, let's do it. Let's celebrate her. Like, bless her. Like, let's not just cancel it for like. something that we always do, she wanted to make this special. There's none of that, which is strange.

Is there what I'm sensing here? And I'm not saying that you're in the wrong at all because you're not. There may, is there a chance that there's been other things building up? Because I find it hard to believe that a whole group of women at the age of 33 just suddenly turn on their friend after they've been the one doing something wrong. Like, is there been other, is there been things building up maybe that you're not aware of that maybe? that maybe you have projected or done that's bummed the group out a bit. I don't know. It's quite extreme for someone that you're made of honour of to, like, disinvite you to

the wedding. Like, these are, it's, it just seems like such a crazy reaction for this. Especially at the big old age of us. Yeah, and I think if you're upset, like, I would call whoever you're closest to out the group and be like, I'm just trying to understand what I've done wrong here because, like, I'm willing to take responsibility and fix it. But, like, I am really upset and I'm really confused. and like if I've done something and I'm completely oblivious and that's on me and I'm happy to

apologize but like I need someone to tell me because right now I just feel like I've got no friends and all I wanted to do is celebrate my good news. Yeah, completely. I agree with everything you've said and I think the whole silent treatment is always really mean and doesn't get you anywhere. Like we've all been on the other end of that at some point in our lives and it's a horrible feeling and I think you should you'd probably feel better just having a conversation. feel lighter and if it just doesn't get anywhere and you know then you kind of go from there but I think

given the fact you've all been friends for 20 years and I'm sure you don't want to not speak to people again I would just air out how you're feeling and explain why you're upset they'll love you also like deep down like they love you like you like you love your friends so much and like I'm so shocked that this has like been how they've reacted and if it's if it seems like out of character then there must be something else going on that may be. you're not aware of so I do think you've got to just reach out and lip it in the bud yeah because I get it you don't want to make friends at 33 if like I mean it's good to make new friends obviously but if you've got a whole group of people that you really love you don't want

to like just start again with that yeah I agree with like your core group yeah who you love and have been a friend of yours for a reason for a reason like oh my god that means that you must met when you were like 13 wow yeah 13 probably at the beginning of secondary school I Please tell us what happens. I hope this gets resolved. I hope you feel lighter. And I hope this is just a blip in the road. And I'm sorry, I do feel like this happens to everyone at some point, like on some capacity.

Like a little bit of a friend like mishap, fall out. Bit of attention. Yeah. And I think it will be fixed and it will be fine. I also feel like girlfriendships can come in like ebbs and flows as your romantic relationship. Like there can be moments where it feels a bit harder, moments where it's great. Like I think that we, you know, all relationships that you care about and that you love at moments can be can be testing and I think it's just about how you then figure that out

and like the resolution from that yeah talking about maintaining and romantic relationship and maintaining like a friendship oh good question because I feel like they're not too dissimilar actually not I think for me I would say like so cringe and like whatever like it's all really comes down to like communication yeah like keeping that going yeah and like like talking about how you're feeling, talking about what you're doing, asking them questions, being there for one another, supporting one another in whatever's happening in that, in your life, work, family, whatever. I think they're both two key things that I'm trying to personally get better at.

I've not always been world's best communicator. But I think that they're both, they correlate to both. Yes, they do. You're right. And you're not really going to have a solid friendship or romantic relationship if you're not communicating well. Yes, that's true. but I also think like and also compromise yeah I think

100% because even in friendships right there's always probably going to be someone who makes more of the effort than the other person and like I think some a lot of friendships break down because they're like they just put no effort in yeah I agree and it's like you know what sometimes that's okay and that's the pattern that the friendship falls into

and one person is always going to be messaging more than the other or like putting the effort into like put the date in the darring the other person too but like I think that's okay Like as long as people are... But I think it comes and swings and roundabouts. I think that sometimes in your romantic relationship you can feel like you're holding the weight and then they pick up the weight at times

when you need them to. And then I think sometimes it can be like that with friends too. It can be like, I feel like she's ringing me more or do you have other times or like I'm ringing her more. And it always, I'd like to think levels as long as you're both trying. Yes, but sometimes I think friendships people get set in their ways.

And like that's how their friendship flows. But like I think to not make that a problem is quite important. Otherwise you might lose the friendship. Yeah. And like it's okay. Like one person's better at that than the other. And like you just stick with it.

Yeah, agreed. That was lovely, Tim. God, actually. Fucking good advice. That was great advice. I really like that. That's all for this week's dilemma day. If you have a dilemma for us,

make sure you send it across because we're desperate to hear. Get in touch at Wednesday's podcast or email us at Wednesdays at jampopprocctions.com. Thank you so much. That's it for this week Wednesdays, but God, don't you just fancy some more, Melissa? Yeah, I'd really love a follow-up to some of those dilemmas. I want to know what happens. Well then, tinies, we have got some news for you. We have launched a premium version of Wednesdays. Now listen, subscribers get access to the podcast ad-free with bonus episodes. It's pretty amazing. It's also packed full of dilemma follow-ups, which we love, and some of our more personal stories and recommendations.

And it's super easy. You just listen on your favourite app. How cool is that? Amazing. And all the info is in the episode description and in our Instabio.