Wednesdays - “I’ve got a crush on my bestfriend…” | DILEMMA DAY

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

It’s DILEMMA DAY with Melissa Tattam and Ruby Adler! This week brings us four VERY spicy dilemmas, and as always, we’ve got thoughts.First up, one Tiny is wondering whether she should live by the golden rule… don’t let your boyfriend stop you from finding your wife! Then we’re helping a first-time wedding guest avoid a wedding fashion faux pas. PLUS, what happens when you leave your man and suddenly realise you want him back? And finally, one Tiny loves her boyfriend but doesn’t want to be intimate with him anymore. Is the spark gone, or is there something else going on?Enjoy the episode xGot a dilemma, some personal advice for a fellow Tiny, or a follow-up to a previous one? Send us a voice note or message on Insta @wednesdayspodcast, or drop us an email at [e-mail] | @wednesdayspodcastTikTok | @wednesdayspodcastEmail | [e-mail] CREDITSProducer: Faye Lawrence Assistant Producer: Issy Weeks-HankinsVideo: Lizzie McCarthySenior Social Media Manager: Laura CoughlanSocial Media Executive: Amber HouriganSenior Producer: Helen Burke Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, tinys, it's time for your Friday Dilemma Day. Here's what we've got coming up. What should you do if you regret a breakup? She's into this girl, she's got the feels. She doesn't like her boyfriend anymore. It's not fair. So she needs to just cut it off now. Oh, you're done, you're done, you're done.

Okay, dilemma time. Yay! Right, dilemma one. Hey, Melissa and Ruby. This isn't really my dilemma. It's my best friend. She keeps asking me for advice, and so I need your thoughts on this. Okay, we're ready.

My bestie has been with her boyfriend for over two years, but recently she has developed a crush on a girl in her volleyball team. We're obviously in America. Volleyball. And they have been flirting with each other. They have been snapping and texting. Snapping? Is this Snapchat? God, I'm old.

Okay, so we're young and we're American. I'm liking this. I really love it. They have been snapping and texting and then all of a sudden things escalated. They were texting late at night and some explicit things were said. So she's literally cheating on her boyfriend about that. Now my best friend has basically lost interest in her boyfriend. She said that she is not excited when she receives a text from him or sneezing him in person.

That's quite simple really. She just needs to break up with her. Please help me give advice to her to see if this is just a crush and we'll go in time. Or maybe it's a fundamental issue with her boyfriend, her and her boyfriend. Just tell her to break up with him. I think it's really simple. She's clearly into this girl. She's got the feels.

She doesn't like her boyfriend anymore. It's not fair. So she needs to just cut it off now. before. I mean, it's still cheating, I think. I think you're being more lenient about this because it's a girl. If she was doing this with the boy, you would be like, what fuck you doing? Yeah.

Or if he was doing this with a girl, everyone would be like absolutely horrified. And I think you actually need to look at it in the same way because it's the same fucking thing. She fancies something to happen. She's fantasising. She's talking to her late at night. They're probably saying, like, no. She's cheating. Yeah.

And like, she doesn't obviously, she's not excited to see her. But she wants to break up with her boyfriend. Yeah, like this isn't. this is not rocket science here. No. She needs to break up with the boyfriend and go back to the volleyball bureau and explore that.

That's quite exciting. I'm kind of excited for her. You know what? She might explore it and then we know what by darn. And then that's fine. But if it was you, I would be like, right, I actually don't think I can talk to you about this because it's making me feel a bit shit

because you are cheating your boyfriend. And it's like, I want to support you. But like, I do think this is a bit wrong. So like, I think that you should stop telling me about it or just break it off with your boyfriend. I completely agree. And same to you. Because it also puts you in a position

where you're like, I don't condone or agree with this. This fundamentally isn't right. She's also probably friendly with the boy. If this is her best friend, she's probably friendly with the boyfriend too. I don't know. They've been together for over two years too. Yeah.

That's a long time. So she's probably feeling like she's in a really awkward situation. Like, what's the point in being in something where you're really unhappy and you're not excited? You should want to be excited and you feel this with the girl. So you'll also feel better in yourself by just being able, to explore it freely, knowing that you're single. I'm being true to yourself.

Yeah. So I think that it's, yeah. I think it's quite simple, really. Yeah. Well, good luck. I hope that she does break out with him because she's wasting his time. I agree. Okay, dilemma two.

Hi, Melissa and Ruby. Please help us dress tiny in need. I've been invited to my boyfriend's best friend's wedding in the south of France. Oh my God, I like this already. I was so excited and bought my dress really far in advance. I bought a stunning, never fully dressed dress, picture attached. As I'm a student in London right now, this was something I have really saved up to buy. Listen, I look at this dress.

It's stunning. Can I just say, guys, never fully dressed. Have really lovely stuff, wedding guest stuff too. I can't even go by all this like multicolored dress. Did you see it? Yes, it was beautiful. Tonight one of my best friends wedding. It was like the fit, everything is just the prints that they're coming out with.

Like, it's just this resurgence and it's just incredible. It's giving like Euro summer too, like she. That's giving Santrapay. And also like, you're going to keep. this dress. This was a great investment because you're going to keep this forever. Totally. So cool. I love it. But here's the sitch. The dress code was sent out a few months ago and we did not realize that it states encouraged color palette for guests is pale, pink, yellow or green and elegant style. Do you think I can get away with this being my dress of choice? I think I can maybe get away with it as it has

pastel colors in it. Yeah. I love it so much. Cannot return it anymore. But I'm worried that this is my first adult wedding and I just don't want to get it wrong. Oh my God. Aange. I've also attached a picture of my boyfriend and I because I know you're appreciated on our holiday last year in Palenza. Oh my God. Precious. Oh my God. You're such a gorgeous couple. I love it.

Love the selfie. Oh my God. You guys are so gorgeous. Best of luck with all your wedding plans. Love you both so much. Any advice would be so appreciated. I love you. I love you.

You're so sweet. And I love the dress. This is so... Can I see the dress again? It's perfect. It's got yellow. It's got pink. It's got baby blue.

It's pastels. It's got everything you could... The dress code is encouraged colour palette, pale pink, yellow. There's yellow in there. There's pale pink, there's yellow. There's green. And it's elegant, and it says elegant style. This is perfect.

You've nailed the brief, hon. You have nailed the brief. And also, like, there will be someone that will turn off in a black dress or a red dress. Like, I really would not worry about this. Someone is coming in bright future. Yeah. Like, someone's going way off peace with this dress code because they've already bought their dress and they're like, well, I'm not going to buy another one. It will be absolutely perfect for the day.

And if you're all your first adult wedding, your friend's weddings are so fun. It's such a fun era. the wedding era. Such a fun era. Especially like a destination wedding like it'll be hot like you'll be a whole weekend of it.

It'll be you'll make a trip out of it you'll have the best time. You really well. I'm honestly, I'm quite jealous of it. Like, wow. I mean I've just come back

from wedding in South France and it was so fan. And I will never fully dressed I love that. I also genuinely got stopped in the street for this dress by these two really chic Euro girls

they were like you know they have their accents like kind of international national yeah. And it wears your dress so good. I was like, oh my God. I was like, thanks so much. When they're random too? And I'm like, that's taking effort. Yeah. It's like an 85 pound dress. I'm never fully dress. And I feel like it looks like it's 200 pound dress.

Like it's, they nail it every time. Also, they do sell out very quickly, I will say. And it's quite good that you'd probably not going to end up wearing the same dress as anyone else, which is such a bonus. I don't think they make that much of never fully dressed stuff. Agreed. So where do you stand on weddings and dress codes? I think with destination weddings You're asking a lot of from people already Yeah It's quite like going to weddings as expensive as a guest

And I think to sometimes like Force people to buy really specific things Can be a lot It can I don't know It's a hard one It is hard and I guess there's so many opinions on this Which I can understand

I like it when they give you In advance They point you in a direct And they give you like a mood board. That's quite funny. You're like, okay, right, I can actually go a bit extra on this one. Or maybe this is a sparkly vibe because it's Bridgeton on crack or whatever. I love that. I don't want to get rich on crap.

So I do like that and you've got some direction. Yeah. But I think when it's too specific, then it's, I think it feels like a lot of people might think that that's taking the piss. I wore dark green dress to Emily's wedding, which was like, which was summer chic. And I felt like on reflection, I don't think it was very the mood board. Everyone was in like very neutral, brighter colors. And I felt like I was... I thought it was a black dress.

It was, yeah. There was one photo I could tell it was green. It was a lot in natural light. It was like a lot greener. But I felt on reflect... I felt really good in it and I really liked the dress. I don't know if that was the right dress for the right wedding. Right.

You've learned from that. I learned from that. Well, there's mistakes I've made where I've worn a see-through dress and I didn't try it on before the Bonty King wedding. I'm going to see-through. You learn. You live and you learn. I think that you've made the right call with this dress.

I think it's 10 out of 10 and you're going to wear it again. Yeah. And I think it's perfect. Casual and hollow with a flip-per-flopps. Yeah, gorge. But then dress it up with some nice earrings. Yeah. And it will be a lovely beautiful dress in your closet that you'll wear again.

100%. Okay. Zell number 3. Hey guys. Please keep me anonymous. Long-time listener here, love the pod. Broke up with my boyfriend of two years in January. We're both 22 and we were at uni together. It was very sudden and I suddenly felt like I couldn't handle the relationship anymore.

God, I wonder what happens and you suddenly feel like that after two years. It was too much pressure and I wanted to be single and enjoy my friendship. Fair enough. That's a really strong, self-loving thing to do and I rate it a lot. Yeah, actually I like the way you worded that. I agree. Since then, I've had a really nice few months. I mean, that says a lot.

I've been seeing my friends way more than I would if we were still together. But now, after five months, I'm so desperately sad, I miss him a lot. Oh, fuck. But I'm worried I'm going to freak out again and mess him around if I reach out. I find myself totally fine without him sometimes, but other times it's like it all happened yesterday, not helping by all the posts I see on Insta, as he's gotten quite close with some girls.

I was close with at uni. I'm starting a new job in September in London. And moving in with uni friends, do you think I should reach out to him? What should you do if you regret a breakup? Thank you. I just think you've got to think, do you just missing having someone there? Or are you like, because you broke up with him for a reason? And you said you had a blast.

And you've been having, you know, are you? I think if it was the wrong decision, you'd instantly feel like it was the wrong decision and it would be in the back of your mind. Why did I do that? Yeah. I think so. I do say there's like, I think with men, there's like this three-month wall that they will then hit because they process it differently to girls. I think girls are quite quick to like allow

their emotions to feel everything and guys, it's like a three-month. Yeah, I've heard that as well. And then they go, don't what by done. Yeah, whereas women, you feel it all so quickly. You often say like women break up with men before. Mentally. I mean, I've done that. I mentally broke up up with someone like eight months, maybe more before. So when it came to, I was so cold and so, And it was just done. I remember that. Nothing. Textbook.

So just like don't even, don't even say another word to me. I am so done. I agree. Yeah. But I think that that, I think my point with that is I think that's very, like, women can do that. And we process things so differently to men. I think men think that they're okay and then have these like often delayed reactions

being like, oh my God, what have I done? Yeah. So I'm confused about why after five months. months you're now so desperately sad and miss him a lot. Are you sad? I think you're just a bit lonely. I think it's loneliness. And you're getting a bit jealous.

Why don't you try and put yourself out there on the dating field? Also, fucking, why are we still? Like, just mute him on the Instagram. You know, I don't follow him because that's dramatic and it makes it look like you care. Maybe you're just seeing him with other girls and it's like sparking feelings with you naturally as it would so it's best to just not look. Mute. Just fucking mute.

I love the mute button. It's so useful. So many people you did. I know, me too. Me too. It's desperate to unfollow, but it's just to be controversial. I just don't, I don't care what you post. I don't want to see it.

Sometimes people's posting, it's like really strange these days too. So, don't you not really bothers me? Tell me. When people do like a carousel dump and they post a really great photo as like photo four. And I'm like, that should be your hero shot. Why is it not number one? Devastating. It bothers me.

You should comment on them and let them know the feedback. You picked the oddest photo for photo one. Like you look so great in photo four like swap. But then why does that bother me? And then I'll go to bed and I'll be thinking about that. Stop. Yeah. It's really.

You should be a social media manager. But I'm not very good. But, like, I just think that, like, I think why did you think that that looked better? Just to go back to the mute, we need to mute him every now and then your temptation is going to get the better of you and you're going to look for one other. Don't, I think, mess. I think it, listen, if you give it two months and you are one, you have to be 100% sure because it's not going to be worth the trauma for him. That's, like, not fair. I agree.

And if he has some self-respect, he would. will actually say like. You also don't want to go back for the wrong reasons and you did it and it didn't work and I think let's move on like there's so many great guys out there and I think you just are feeling a bit lonely and that's also normal and I think you can feel all the feels but but keep it moving. But then I was it was very sudden and I suddenly felt like I couldn't handle the relationship anymore. Is this like an anxiety led decision and then you got and then you got temporary relief because you felt like how yeah solved that problem but actually did I solve that problem?

Yeah, that's a good point. It just, it didn't sound like you were saying like it was really toxic. No. So I think you need to maybe dig a little bit deeper and really understand why you made that decision in the first place and why you felt you can handle it. Is this something that you need to work on you before you go back in? I agree. Because you can't do that to him again. That's just really unfair.

But love you so much. And I can really relate to that. So please let us know what you decide to do. Okay, love you, good luck. Okay, good luck. Right. Delemma number four. Girls, this is in capitals, by the way. Girls, please, I desperately need your help. Ten exclamation marks. I've been with my boyfriend for just under a year and we're both 22. He's genuinely one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I've ever met. There have been a few issues in the past, like him ignoring me after arguments, but recently he's been honestly amazing. The problem is I can't shake this feeling that I'm done with the relationship and I can't pinpoint one specific reason why. It just feels like my gut, and even my body is telling me it's over. I don't really want to. I don't really want to. I don't really want to. I don't know. I don't. I don't know. I don't. I don't. I don't know. I don't. I don't to be intimate anymore and I find myself getting frustrated with him over the smallest things,

even when he hasn't done anything. Oh, you're done, you're done, you're done, you're done, you're done. You're going to get the ick and you're going to feel gross about, I feel so guilty because he's such a beautiful person. I'm terrified of blindsigning him and breaking his heart. Do I bring up that I've been feeling often uncertain knowing it will probably lead to a breakup? Or is it kind of to just end things rather than putting him through the weeks of uncertainty? Yes. Yeah, ripped the bandaid off. Have either of you experienced this? Yes. Yes. How do you know if it was something to work through? or if it was time to just let go. Fuck, you've just got to fucking do it.

You'll be so happy when you do it. You checked out. You're checking out. And this is exactly what Ruby just said. Like, women do the breakup mentally in the lead-up. And it's also just not fair. Like, he'll know as human nature that you're being off and something's not... I don't think he will.

Or maybe he does. I don't think boys get it as much. Girls, like, have such an intuition where they're like, they're being weird. Like, why you being a bit cold? Oh, yeah. Whereas I think boys are just quite sort of chill in their blas. Oh, she's having an off day. Yeah, they are actually.

They're so light. I think, like Melissa said, you've just got to, you've got to break up with him. You'll feel better. Oh my God, I don't know how you're not vomiting in your mouth every time I wants to kiss you. Like, when you start checking out or something, it's just like, get away from me. And you feel horrible. I had a dream the other day. About what?

That my ex was in my house and we were still together. And I was like, what are you doing here? I broke up with you. Please get out. Please get out. It was horrible. That sounds like a nightmare. And he was like walking upstairs towards me.

And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I need you to get out. I swear I broke up with you years ago and I had another boyfriend. I know what's going on? This feels so wrong. I was like, please get out and I wake up and I was like, thank God that was a stream, Jesus Christ. That sounds horrible. And you know why? I think it's because I lied so much to him that I was okay when I was so checking out and like, do you feel guilty for doing it. I'm sure you do. And when you're younger, you sort of like, they're like, well, you know, we don't argue. So like maybe this is like nice and I should be grateful for having this non-toxic relationship because it was not a toxic

relationship at all. He was like super sweet. But it still doesn't make you feel like it's not right. It's not right. You can talk yourself into anything. I did it for years. Honestly, you can tell yourself anything you want to believe. I believed all of it. She also told me over and over and over again, all these, and I was like, yeah, right. No shame. All my friends are right. Okay. Honestly, here we go again. I think it was the eighth time. I was a bit, I think I was quite honest with you. Yeah, yeah, you were. You were one of the most honest. Because I'd been through it. Melissa had to sit down. every single time. She couldn't do any of it standing. She was probably just so exhausted. I always remember how she was just pulling up a chair. You've got to, you've got to rip that

band-aid off. Yeah, you do. It's absolutely necessary. And you'll feel better. You'll feel like lighter and happier. The liberation that you were going to get. Life will feel like phenomenal. I remember Melissa going through a breakup and you just be. I was absolutely thriving. So happy. Like just. I felt like I'd been suffocating and all the walls had been. The only describe it is, felt like walls were closing in on me for a really long time, really, really, really, really slowly. Yeah, but that you just felt... But it was my fault for not dealing with it properly sooner and just breaking up with him before. That was really unfair.

So, like, that was wrong of me. But I also think it does take a bit of time to process. It does. I don't think anyone wakes up one day and goes, I'm not feeling it today, so I'm going to dump them today. I think you mentally need to go through the whole, like, maybe it could have taken less time for anyone, definitely for me. but you process it and it takes a while to process. But I think if you're really feeling this and it's been a while, you've got to just get on with it.

And so you're writing into us. For you to have written that down and send that email in. The minute you put pen to paper as well, it becomes more real. 100%. Also, chat to your girlfriends about it. Yeah. Because, you know what? Sometimes people can give you wrong advice.

Like, no, they're not. Day with him. And you're like, oh, I really like him. Like, no. But I don't. Yeah, yeah. And you know what you've got to do? So once you've broken up with him

Go back into your bedroom Right Hopefully you don't live with him If you live with them kick him out Go back to your bedroom Play that music Let's get Jojo Get out leave right now

Something like that Put some makeup on a Ranger girls night out And just Hammer it Fucking go for it And the sense of freedom And like the weight That will be lifted

I mean I'm getting like Resurgence thing you end in that You'll just be so You'll be like Why haven't I done this You'll sleep better at night Yeah you will You'll get fitted

for some reason that happens when you break up for someone too. You just feel healthier. Highly recommend. I'm in agreement. If there's anyone that's going to update it, Alston today, I need this to be you. Because I need to know what's happened. She's not written her name.

No, she'd be an... Why would she? Right, right, whoever you are, we need to know. And no judgment if you decide to stay with him. Yeah, it's fine. We'll just retract everything we've said. Yeah, statement will be retracted. But love you so much.

Love you. tell us. Good luck. Good luck. Okay. And if you have a dilemma, please email us or DM us. The Instagram is at Wednesday's podcast and you can email us at Wednesdays at jampoproductions.co.uk. Bye guys. We'll see you on Wednesday. Love you.