Weekly Skews - S6 Ep13: Weekly Skews – The Fog Machine of War

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

Our solution to the Hormuz crisis is for some guys in boat captain hats to do Pickett’s Charge. All of this is very necessary, according to an A.I. George Washington, I told to say that. We did the Vietnam Airlift to with one private jet to rescue a TikTok dogwalker. Then we get into all the unforeseeable (very foreseeable) impacts the war is having, including that we’re kinda paying Russia to help Iran.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10%  https://www.betterhelp.com/skews This episode is sponsored by ZBiotics. Go to https://www.zbiotics.com/SKEW  now. You'll get 15% off your first order when you use SKEW at checkout

What's up everybody. Welcome back. Happy Scus Day to you. It's March 11th, 2026. We're recording this. Actually, sorry, it's March 10th. My bad. It's Tuesday, March 10th, 2026. We're actually recording this the same day. We're releasing it. We haven't done that in a while, so that threw me off. So my bad. It is Tuesday, March 10th. I'm Trey. That's Mark. How you doing, Mark? Yeah, I'm doing pretty good, man. I'm glad we're a little late this week because we're talking about more ranchit that somehow is, like, it would have felt dated and less stupid than reality if we talked about it yesterday.

So before we get to that, I want to, I got to choose your adventure for a topic for you. Okay. Do you want to talk about a MAGA AI generated influencer slash White House military advisor slash foot fetish model? Or do you want to talk about Chrissy Noam getting fired? And I think I don't know which way you're going to go. I mean, I feel like when you put it that way, you have to choose the first one. I mean, I would also, I wouldn't mind talking about Chrissy know I'm getting fired too. but I mean, how can I pass up AI generated MAGA influencer slash foot fetish army person later?

Okay. So this is an AI influencer named Jessica Foster, who is very popular. She has like nearly a mince the million Instagram followers. There she is. There's Jessica. This is obviously not a real person. There would not be an army person in regular like physical training fatigues, taking a selfie with the president in the Oval Office,

even if everything else about this was somehow true. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, right. And she does, like I said, she's also a foot fetish model. If you've got this next image, Matt. She posts stuff like this all the time. Yeah, just her feet up on her desk at the Pentagon or the White House Army office or something, in Fishnet Stockings, which is not military issue.

Starry military uniforms. So when stuff like this, like, do you think people think she, like, what percentage of people follow her? Do you think she's real? I don't know. used to years ago my answer to that question would have been like oh not many surely but like I don't know anymore man like it's I've just gotten my faith has gotten ever more eroded and that so many things I see where I'm like there's no way anyone can believe that or can take that seriously or whatever but it's like but there are though it happens so I don't know

so I'm like I'm not like I don't understand like personally this is my there's no judgment here I know statistically speaking some people watching the show or there's a pipe of no fetish that are during defeat. Not my thing. Yeah. Prior to you perverts.

But like they, I've never understood like anime or cartoon pornography either. Like it's never made sense to me. So even like just knowing this woman is AI just doesn't work for me. Right? Right. Do you or does anyone know like the origin of her? Meaning like it's not like a state.

It's not connected. connected to the, it's just some random person invented an AI, flip fetish army lady and made her MAGA and that's working. There are people making a bunch of money off AI influencers, but my understanding of the

influential economy, you have to like take sponsorships and do ads. I don't see where she's doing ads for anything yet. Right. She might be selling pictures of her feet through her DMs. Right. I don't know. But like, so because like, but what I was getting, the point I was making is like because like animated pornography or whatever,

It has no influence effect on me, but I'm aware that it does for other people. I understand there are people who could know this as AI and still followers for the same reasons you would follow a pretty lady on Instagram. Right. Yeah, right. But that would be for the stuff where you're like getting off on following her life or fake life and her, you know, foot pictures or whatever. But then one of her most recent pictures, I forgot to grab it. Sorry, Matt. She took a selfie that this fake person took with I Show Speed, who was a real life person with a fake job.

Right. And that picture of her taking a selfie with I Show Speed who was supposed to be at the White House for some reason had 50,000 likes. So somebody likes the fact that they think Jessica is getting to know I Show Speed. Yeah, I don't know. I know that that guy I did all that whole like you said, that guy's real.

I've seen videos of that guy, I show Speed, going to like African countries on like a personal appearance. to or whatever, and he's just like streets are shut down. He's not on the other side of the globe, and it's like, it's just so insane to me. So it's like, I wonder if people see that. That guy's massively famous. I see him with a picture of like a hot white lady, and, you know, that just equals a ton

of likes right there, even if they don't even know who she is or that she's fake or not or whatever, you know. I don't understand literally any of it. Maybe it's all aimed at just keeping Quentin Tarantino's morale up while he's in television in television. or whatever. It's all right, buddy. We're doing okay over here still.

You'll be all right. Yeah. So anyway, like, there's a picture of one of her most like pictures is the Oval Office of Trump giving her a bouquet of roses on Valentine's Day. Also, the postal alternate between her being in the White House and being deployed in the Middle East for some reason. She wearing a gas mask in some of these. Like, I guess she's supposed to be over there fighting Iran or something. But, like, one of them, like, she's supposed to be in the Middle East and she's sitting in the Middle East. since she's sitting in like a,

the AI doesn't know what a Humvee is, but it's trying to do. It looked like an AI was inspired by like, remember those convertible cars that Germans drive in World War II movies? Yep.

Like that. I know exactly what you're talking about. She's got her feet propped up on one of those and the caption was sweaty feet after a long day. Who wants a taste? So,

but anyway, so I guess support your feet troops, I guess, since we're going to war. I don't know. All right. Well,

yes, we'll be talking about, you know, extended war chicanery, as the case may be, but we're going to get started with the Daily Dumbass math. You got the graphic for us, please. This week's DD is boat captains for sacrificing their honor by not following the way

of the oil tanker crew Bushido Code. Watch this. These ships should go through the Strait of her moves and show some guts. There's nothing to be afraid of. They have no Navy. We sunk all their ships. He said, look, there's risk.

Mucker, you do it. Like, like, according to the intelligence community, it came out today, said that, like, Iran is deploying mines using, like, small boats, like,

like, they're too small for us to attack because they can't throw off their fishing boats or whatever. And, like, so, yeah, they expect these oil crew, these fucking oil tankers who, they're not troops,

by the way. Yeah, they're just, yeah, mariners or whatever. They just, yeah. Yeah, and they're not America, like,

they might be, like, a company that's contracted to deliver oil to refinery or refinery for exile. We're talking about like a, Filipino crew

on an Italian boat flagged out of Bermuda who they want to be like I must die for the cent of the

American gas prices at the point because Tanya must get Madison to soccer practice so he has

Leboid Jiggins into the straight of fucking one besides the fact that their companies are

telling them not to do it because it's like $300 million with the cargo and Lloyd's of London

said they're not insuring the shit so you're just begging for environmental disaster

since civilians getting killed all for the sake of what? Right

the insurance thing do you note like is each individual boat insured for each trip separately or whatever is that how that works because i heard people talking about how like loy they were you know suspending their war risk insurance or whatever and i was like well that seems fucked up but i guess if you can you know it's like when they all those companies pulled all the like fire insurance out here for a lot of neighborhoods and stuff right before it caught on fire again it's like didn't that the point of people paying for

that you know it's like well now that there's a war you're gonna have to take back that war risk insurance that you paid for. But if it's on like a ship-by-ship basis or whatever, then I mean, I guess I can't blame Lloyd's of London for not wanting to re-up something like that under these circumstances. Yeah, like it's wartime, which means like some guy in a suit in London

is like doing a marlough from the wire, the price of a brick's going up, man. So what you're going to do? But there is another creative solution people have found according to the financial times, ships in the Gulf are declaring themselves Chinese to dodge attacks. so we're declaring

how they declaring that not doing the voice are they on the radio my guess is me Chinese me no shoot yeah me Chinese me and boat

my other best guess was like they're they're dressed up like Mickey Rooney and Breakfast at Tiffany's they drive the boat I don't pass out those hats those conical hats

everybody on the boat, make them all wear it when they're above the board or whatever. Growing food food shoes real quick. This is, I was talking about hypothetical boat races. Yeah, we're the ones being racist. They're doing all that. Anyway.

So, yeah, I guess our work around here around Donald Trump being an idiot as everyone just pretend to be Chinese until the war is over, which maybe it is or was yesterday, but not because Iran didn't quit. So what the fuck? So, yeah, I wanted to bounce around to some fun, stupid in our war update before we get to the meat of it, which I want to talk about unintended consequences.

So Trump had a press available, like a press conference, a little speech yesterday evening, which he timed for after the market's closed, most of them anyway. And he said, I think the war, the Iran war is very complete,

pretty much. Pretty much. It's a funny way to describe a war. Right. Very much, over, give or take. So if you're,

at the same time, they're trying to get the Gulf states to get more involved in the war so we can step back. and protect Israel. So if you're Saudi Arabia, what the fuck do you do with this information where he says the war is almost over where you're still getting shellacked and we're leaving. Right. But I want to watch this video.

You have met a good place, please. It was separate, but everybody said the same thing. Make sure you win. We will. We've already won in many ways, but we haven't won enough to go forward more determined than ever to achieve ultimate victory that will end. The war is over, but also fixed bayonets in charge. Like, what is the anybody supposed to make of this? Like, I know he's just manipulated this stuff.

The Treasury Secretary said yesterday they were going to intervene in the oil futures market to, like, prop it up, to stop people from short selling. Which means they're going to take taxpayer dollars and make a wrong bet on purpose to force short sellers into margin calls. Right. That does nothing to solve the ultimate problem, which is oil supply. You're just trying to make people's investments wrong when they're right. Right. I know. I know.

but I've always, it just seems like there's all kinds of like, you know, uh, stop market voodoo bullshit that doesn't make any kind of logical sense to me that somehow, you know, works or whatever. So I don't fucking know. I don't, you know,

I can't make heads and or tails of it. Yeah. It doesn't make, I only know that it's like, I know, I don't understand to make sense of it within the narrow confines of what they're talking about. I have no idea what the larger purpose of it at oil futures market is,

except for let to let oil producers hedge their bets by, by, once everything goes wrong like say a dipshit fucking president starts a war for no reasons and then go short their own products to try to cover their losses. Yeah. And also eventually fund the founding of Facebook.

Do you remember that? I just rewatch the social network and Eduardo Savarin that's how he made his first chunk of money that went towards getting Facebook started. So oil futures, just bad all around really. Yeah, he was like, the character, I forget the real backstory, but he came up

with like an algorithm that check weather pattern. Well, they said that in the movie, too. He was investing in oil futures, but he was tracking weather patterns as a means of doing it. Like, if you can predict hurricanes, you can predict something. That's what they, you know, anyway. You'd have to ask Aaron Sorkin, or I guess that guy. Let me read this question here. So you said the war is very complete, this reporter asked Trump.

But your defense secretary says, quote, this is just the beginning. So which is it? Trump, you could say it's both. Right. So this whole thing was so confusing. these two New York Times headlines were posted on their website an hour apart. First one reads,

oil prices fall after Trump says Iran war is very complete. Second one, here we go. Trump walks back idea that war is near end. U.S. gains not enough. It does come out like 45 seconds apart or something because that would be 10 minutes later.

They try to cover him for so much. They waited like an hour, but it was immediate, like it was the same sentence. I don't even know what they were trying to accomplish. But it did. The second one's headline is just psych, you know? Follow up, psych, the New York Times. Dude, I'm not sure what they're supposed to do here,

but they really should not cover anything Trump says live or real time because the president does not communicate in sentences or clear thoughts. He has like utterances that convey a vague feeling, right? Which, how do you articulate that? What Trump is conveying is, I don't know. Right. But in a way they're trying to make the stock market go up. Didn't he kind of say?

some version of like, well, I'm not really that up on the whole thing. Like, you know what I'm talking about it? Because he said, he said that they bombed themselves and then somebody was like, even Hexeth doesn't say that. And Trump's like, well, I don't really, no. It was more humiliating that for him. The reporter, I think it was in the back of the White House. He said, he was asked something like, it was about the fact we bombed the girl school. Right.

With the Tomahawk missile. And the guy's like, is it your contention that Iran somehow got a, hold of a tomahawk missile on the first day of the war and bombed their own school? And if so, why does your defense, why has no one else your government saying anything like that, including your defense secretary? You said, you said the opposite standing next to you yesterday. And Trump goes, well, I'm not really up on the whole thing.

Right. Yeah. Got other stuff going on. We're still decorating in the, you know, the new ballroom or whatever, so hands full. He got asked about Russia helping out Iran. They were doing a press availability about, you had a bunch of fucking college football

coaches, including Nick Saban and stakeholders in college football to talk about NIL money. And he got to ask him about Russia and basically called the reporter stupid for interrupting him when he's trying to talk about college football. What the fuck, man? Yeah.

Like, all right, wait. Moving on. My favorite thing I learned is a Trumpian, this is an amazing case of nominative terrorism I found out here. The United Kingdom's defense attach to the United Arab Emirates train is a guy named Captain Sandy Sandilands.

No, he's not. No, it's not. Yes. That's not true. That can't be true. That guy was somehow, named by the internet. They let the internet vote on what the defense attache's name was going to be.

The same people are good. Captain Sandy Sandiland. Yeah. Voting at Boat face, those same people. It has to be. The guy stationed at the Sandy Sandilands. Okay, is his name like Rupert Sandilans or something? And everybody calls him Sandy.

Or his old Sandy, you know, like. I didn't look it up. But I, but I, but I'm going to say, I bet he was named based upon his last name. But still, he was named after I bet he did. Yeah, right. It's still very much nominee. of determinism, yeah.

Yeah. Sandy, Sandy lands is like, well, like the name, like my college roommate and my college roommate was Pakistani. It's like a, like a name of racist frat guy. I would have given him. Yes. Right. Captain Sandy.

So this guy, I've been following for a while, he's a guy he makes designer like billionaire bunkers. He says that he's in a day of a call as well, a bunch of politicians and billionaire including two members of Trump's cabinet are looking to get luxury Bunkers built ASAP. This guy's name is Ron Hubbard, which is somehow a different Ron Hubbard who's based his worldview on science fiction.

Elron Hubbard, wanted a sex slave in space. This guy wants to eat venison jerky in pill form and live like a mole man underground. He's half a YouTuber, and he can go, like, he films, he films all these content where he'd go look at the bunkers he's built. They have like rock walls and full gyms

and movie theaters inside of these motherfuckers. They're going to live better after the apocalypse underground than wealthy, normal wealthy people live now. But I was going to ask Scott Bisson, whoever decided, whoever decided they need to live underground because all this shit's going on, you're not going to get it built by the time

this war is over. So you might want to fix it. I thought they'd already done a lot of that. I feel like I remember hearing stories along, like a while ago now about billionaires around the world are building bunkers or buying islands and that type of thing. And, you know, why you should be concerned. Yeah, New Zealand. Yeah, right.

So this is just the stragglers, whatever? Also, at some point, he's going to run out of worried Christian conservative billionaires. Although, I don't know, maybe not. It does seem like there's an awful lot of those. Yeah. Hubbard described the vast majority of those customers as being Christian conservative CEOs. Last year, Hubbard met that crowd at a familiar watering hole, Moralago, to advertise his drastic solution. So, Make America Great Again is now turned into making living above ground awful again.

on this, they're recreating silo. It's so wild, yeah, to have a meeting like that at Mar-Lago where it's like, so I think we all are aware that we're probably going to blow the planet up soon, you know, it's like, and you know, we all believe in everything that we're doing and we're all making everything great again,

but I think we're also all pretty worried that everything will be on fire this time next year. So here's what you can do for that. It's like, I don't, the two things feel like they should be mutually exclusive to me, but, you know. These, I, like, I'm tired these people call themselves Christians who were trying to actively destroy the war.

Like, first of all, these people that get off from the Book of Revelation, which found a mistake of Christianity, that conference would decide what books were going to go in the actual Bible, who left some stuff out. The fact that to leave the Book of Revelation on the cutting room floor is going to go down as like an all-time cell phone because there's nothing remotely attached to the rest of the Bible in it. And a bunch of people take it for, like it's part of the fucking gospel, which is literally not. and it was a

some guy did peyote in the desert and fantasized about the end of the world 2,000 years ago and now a bunch of people think it's literally true but even if it was literally true is not your job to bring about a prophecy

the whole thing about a prophecy is you can't stop it you also cannot speed it up you're a heretic right so I want to talk about this guy every second this is the car 's man named Rick Crawford

if you got this video Matt because like these people people, these cognitive points are so stupid, they can't even keep us straight to keep fucking them up. I mean, we had been at war with Iran since 1947. That was the threat to what you're seeing today. The talking point is for 47 years, which goes back to the Revolution 79. He just fucked it up as in 1947, which is hilarious because if you go back and look what's

happening in the region of 1947, what you'll learn is that Iran was never really a colony because it couldn't really be conquered, which is why it makes it stupid to fucking try now. Anyway, that guy's in the house. He's a chairman of the House Intelligence Committee. And he thinks we were, we're saying we've been a war with our rants in 1947. Just fucking pulling shit out of their ass to make it seem like this is the, the end of some final thing, some final showdown, some ongoing thing,

as opposed to a fuck up by a moron. So, Marker Rubio's State Department has totally covered itself in glory here. I want to show you this, Trey. We talked about this earlier, but before you throw the picture up, Matt, there's a story to Wall Street Journal today about how Donald, Trump has been obsessed with getting everyone in the White House the same brand to design her shoes. Yeah. Because he said they all have shitty shoes and some brand he likes.

So he asked them to give them his shoe size and you'll never guess they all lie about how big their fucking feet are. Show this picture, zoomed up picture, Markerubia wearing the new shoes that Donald Trump got him if you got this man. Like when my son wears my shoes to take the trash out. and just left him in and walks out the back door or whatever. He apparently told Trump that his shoe size is 11.5 and going by my eyeball by, he's the 8.5. Which is he wouldn't be humiliating if you didn't feel so subconscious about it. But like, he's walking around in foot pain all fucking day. And this boy, this is not just one day he did this.

This is every day he's wearing his shoes because he's afraid to tell Trump that he's got small feet. And. Right. Well, also just Trump caring about that is also very. Raven and on Brandon stupid. You know, he's so, like,

it's, he's just so, like, bitchy and petty about stuff that doesn't matter. It's zeroing in on, you know, those aren't a man.

She don't have proper shoes. And while a war is happening, that's what he's thinking about. It's just all so ridiculous. Again, it's just that, like, Armando I Anucci,

couldn't write shit the crazy, I don't think. Regardless of his sex reality, he is one, like, his destiny, if he had,

if he was more comfortable inside his own skin, was to be a very queenie guy, living the Upper West Side of New York going to Broadway every weekend. Right, yes. So, somebody to go at the State Department,

see this is a recording of New York Times. One woman who called the State Department helpline looking for help said they told her to, quote, stop ranting and raving and hung up on her. This woman who's trapped in the war

in the Middle East. Another woman said they asked her how to spell Oman. Oh, God. So they did somehow some mega-connected guy wrangled a private jet

to fly in to get them out of Qatar to evacuate them to Greece and was able to evacuate a few people including a TikTok star the coin headline says evacuate a trumpet advisor and TikTok star but those are two different people this TikTok influencer does not matter or anything she's a dog

walker she's a dog walking influencer who lives in Dallas who someone had been trapped in a fucking Doa? Doha? Yeah forget it doesn't matter but like if you as embassy can't help you just help your local dog walking influencer sarah gayther she posted this video after she got back if you got this map got a content's coming out of the war dinner in doha and i have some guests with me oh i'm sorry i thought for a second the guy was going to make the birds smoke a cigarette

this is totally worth it you got we got a savers he's invaluable they fucking love those birds over there dude. I've seen so many pictures of like Emirati Airlines first class, you know, they have these like elaborate booths and stuff and I've seen those where it's like some sheikh has three of those just for his three birds that are also flying. And it's always funny, like a bird

flying in a plane. It's just a wild thing. But yeah, they bought that bird life over there, whatever that's worth. But yeah, I don't know. This lady probably just walked that Trump guy's dog, right? And I don't mean that as a euphemism. Probably.

It's like his actual dog, you know, just having connections or whatever. I don't know. For all the types of people, we talked about the AI lady with the, like, I, I did not know you could become rich and famous enough to go to, to point where you'd be in demand to go on a tour of the Middle East, be a three big vacation where you probably get, presumably get paid for it on some Dubai chocolate shit from walking dogs. Me neither, but I don't know. I mean, people love dogs. It's dog adjacent. It's just a big dog page. So I guess I could kind of, but yeah, I heard nothing.

nothing about it makes sense. There was some other influencer guy. I don't know if you saw this. I don't think he's political either. I don't think. But he was making all this content about being stuck over there and he couldn't get out or whatever else. And oh, it's awful.

And there's no flights can't leave, whatever. And then it came out that, A, he was in Singapore and B, there were plenty of coach seats available and he just wouldn't take them. He just refused to fly coach from Singapore. And all time he'd been posted and making videos about you know, he needs to be evacuated and can't get out and stuff.

So, yeah. All influencer culture obviously was a mistake, even though I'm adjacent to it. I still don't like it at all. Yeah. Paul, he's only influencers stuck in Dubai right now, war is hell. So the, you always say that you have an actual skill which you advertise via social media. Yeah, right. That's different than what are these other people are doing.

Oh, it is funny when it finds out to reverse. But you're doing stand up before you went viral. Yeah. People always think that you, like, like people, people, thought when Corey went to rival with the buttercream dream, people thought he had gone viral, then decided to get into comedy. He was always super offended by it.

Me too. I've been offended by it for 10 years, yeah. Yeah. So probably my favorite bit of stupid to come out of all this is this conversation where Glenn Beck was interviewing AI, George Washington about foreign entaglement's, uh, at the other's man.

I said once, to prepare for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace. That's not. saber rattling that's different it's insurance think of it like this he never locks their door is this a new clip because I know he did this a while ago too is he kept

doing this like regularly okay so yeah it's if you're just an audio version it's a it's George Washington wearing like a tech adjacent outfit like you know they always wear plain t-shirts you know he's wearing a blue Steve Jobs t-shirt and Glenn Beck is nodding to the animatronic George Washington

like he's learning something when the George Washington is just saying what he programmed it to say it's like watching a parrot talking a fucking mirror right what is Glenn Beck actually looking at in real life a screen or just he's sitting there there's no one on the other side or they play the audio for him do you know what I mean like I just wonder I don't know it's also ridiculous

it's like you said to sit there very like you know, seriously nodding like that is a cogent point Mr. First President. My guess is a tennis ball like he's on a set filming a Marvel movie or so? Yeah, right, probably.

Like when a Benedict cover Patch was playing smog and he had to crawl around the floor covered in tennis balls, I love this. Yeah, it's good. All right, well, we're going to get into the, like all the, a lot of moments of all this

that made me want to go full Joker, but what really visualize it was scott business talking about russia which we'll get to after this and take a quick break all right weekly skews is brought to you by zbiotics i don't know if you notice but march can be a lot you know you got your bracket watch parties seat patis day and whatever backyard situation happens the first weekend it hits 60 degrees in your area point is it's a full social gauntlet you know out there having a good time and i'm not i don't know about you but i'm not as

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All made with rich, creamy hazelnut spread. Try them today. Only at booster juice. Canadian-born. Blending since 1999. okay we're back thanks for sticking around everybody so scott besin and russia hey i me quote here from scott beset to ease the temporary gap of oil around the world we're unsanctioning russian oil all right this is nothing to do with like russia per se that's due with what our stated

objectives are or what like or what incentives are giving to other countries because for people who claim a deep understanding of like incentives and moral hazards when it comes to like poor people getting money for food, they don't think about at all what incentives are creating for supposed adversaries around the world. Right. Yeah, you mean like the people that are like,

we can't have welfare and food stamps and stuff because that disincentivizes poor people from helping themselves. It makes them reliant on, right. I mean, you're saying, it's also that they never apply that same logic to like corporations and corporate welfare and stuff either.

You're saying also they don't think about that in terms of foreign policy. They freak out if like a poor, person that, if food stamps that a poor person buy a little Debbie instead of broccoli, right? But they're something we all have to be very worried about, but like, for example, basically paying Russia to kill us is not it doesn't enter the equation. Let me explain

what I talk about. So we're more with Iran, right? And Russia's Iran's ally. We want the straight of Hormuz open, but now we're giving Russia a profit incentive to help Iran keep the straight clothes so they can sell oil and use the money to help Iran. Right. Right. It's a pretty straightforward proposition. Russia makes more

money as long as Iran's winning. Right. so it would be more honest for us just to pay Russia a bounty for every American troop that Iran kills that be a more straightforward system. And then what do you know? This headline, Russia is aiding Iran's war effort by providing intel on U.S. military target sources, say, so they're doing the money that we're letting them make and funding their intelligence operations to help Iran target assets and troops. Yeah, I don't understand. I was going to ask you about, I ended up looking up and reading some of it, but

of course I still don't understand but as far as oil I know any time like during the campaigns and stuff when drill baby drill comes up and all that type of shit are like you know fuck green energy and we're going to have more oil and everything I know that I've heard people say

in recent years people only realize that America's a net oil exporter now right like and all this stuff and that is technically true right but there's different kinds of oil or something but also all the markets are so tied together that that doesn't matter like if the demand

is fucked for the foreign oil and other places. It will ruin the value of the oil we do have. So they're all kind of intrinsically linked, even though we do have more than we need or however you want to put that. We're a net exporter. Is that accurate? Yeah, I guess we could seize Exxon and nationalize it.

Right. But in the economy we live in, the global marketplace, if someone else is paying a higher price for the oil, then Exxon's going to sell it to them, not America. Right. So, I mean, I'm using Exxon. Xon's the wrong word, but the oil producers, you know what I'm saying? So I wouldn't talk about unintended consequences because this is getting extremely far as

really fast. We're basically doing a, we've gone zero to catch 22 in record speeds. Since we're talking about how this war's helping Russia out, it's also helping our Ukraine out. How does this war be helping both Russia and Ukraine? Okay, well, cheaper rain and drones are hitting our assets and Allad Raider installations. And as a result, we need the assistance of Ukraine to. combat Iran's cheap, Shahid drones.

Politico reports that a person close to Trump's national security team acknowledges that Zelensky has leverage with the U.S. We could pay to them, but the Tomahawk they've been begging for for years, except, you know, we shot them all on inflatable decoy helicopters. But anyway, our allies are figured out they need Ukraine's help because more than a dozen in Qatari officials toured the production facilities of a major Ukrainian defense company on Wednesday, and that visit came the same day as Zelensky filled a cause with Gulf leaders.

So right into our future, where Zelensky, even if he loses, can use his experience to transition to being a Gulf warlord. That'll come in handy. You can, like, retire to Dubai and kill his new neighbor, Andrew Tate. That'd be cool. I don't, I hear this all the time. I don't get how, like, I mean, I do get how it's disproportionate and inefficient and unsustainable, the fact that we're firing multimillion-dollar tomahawks at $30,000 drones or whatever. Like, I understand the math of that. what I don't get is why we don't also have something else that's better suited for that particular situation.

Just like from being, I don't know, such a defense spending fat cat for so long, it's just like, oh, no, that's, you know, that's not cool. Like, you know, $30,000 drones aren't cool. You know what's cool. Fucking $5 million ICBMs. That's cool. And so we just built nothing but those for years. Is that essentially what happened? because that seems really stupid.

Especially the situation we find ourselves in now, you know, like. I remember talking about, reading about, like, why movie budgets are so overloaded and why studios only make, like, $500 million billion movies now. And I remember reading a quote from a producer. It's like, it's hard to steal a million dollars from a $20 million budget, but it's pretty easy to steal a million dollars from a $500 million budget. So if you, nobody wants to make a $20,000 drone. It's like, I've heard the same thing about housing and shit, too.

It's like a lot of developers and stuff. There's no money in making like affordable housing or low-income housing and that type of thing. Like, you know, people, anybody who's good at doing it wants to build shit that rich people pay for or whatever, basically. So, yeah, nobody wants to get into the shitty drone game. The fucking VR headset doing there, Palmer Lucky, his company, Anderil makes drones now, but they barely, they cost a million dollars a pop and they basically spontaneously crash all the time. so they're not even in service yet. But that's that, that's,

we're making AI drones that don't fly, that cost a million dollars a pop, while Iran's making R.C. planes, the explosive attached to them and whipping her fucking ass. Right. It's essentially what's happening. Well, I remember when the Russia war started us talking about how,

like, Russia went to start their jeeps and, like, the tires and we're missing and the Cadillac inverters were going. Uh-huh. Because somebody stole them. This is, like, our version of that. Well, it's also, like, it feels like it's not that much different than, like, the sort of thing that with Russia, the Mujahideen

was doing in Afghanistan and stuff for like the Viet Cong and Vietnam and that sort of thing where it's like, or hell, the way that, and I know this is not super historically accurate, but the way that like Mel Gibson's crew is portrayed in the Patriot, right? Where it's like, you know,

guerrilla warfare basically or like, you know, surprising an enemy that has you overmatched due to their hubris and the fact that they're not prepared in the same way that you are or whatever or thinking as creatively and that type of thing. Like it's not a new lesson

that they're still having to learn it again, is what I'm saying. Well, you're basically invading and occupying armies are O for Infinity since 1945. Right. And like the people who live there have a huge advantage. They're more, yeah.

The only thing you can do is kill them all. Right. But what you want is to like run a functioning country and that people refuse to let you run it, then you're fucked. Right. So what do you get? The world's washed in small arms.

The constructions trying to make IEDs are on the goddamn YouTube. Like you, we'll eventually learn this lesson. But like, so, I'm going to try to find this. Sorry, we skipped it for the never run a deal.

So Ukraine off, last year after we bombed Iran the first time, Ukraine offered a deal for anti-Iran drone tech. We turned them down. and no one fucking knows why. But lo and behold, this week announced that a golf club firm owned by Donald Trump's sons

has merged with an anti-drone manufacturer. So I imagine they're going to get the contract for overpriced drones that don't work and don't fly. The aristocrats, as always. So I wanted to talk about, for example, how the existence of Trumpism as a phenomenon is basically

rebellion against complexity, just a denial of things are interconnected it might be more complex than you can figure out in one sitting or you have to read a book to figure it out. Right. Everything we've talked about. I don't even think they even think about it as complexly as you just explained it. Do you know what I'm saying?

It's just like an embracing of simplicity because of stupidity essentially. It's just like if you have to think about something, you're like, no. And that's it. You just believe the other thing that's easier to believe anyway, you know? No, it's like you've been simple. So it's just like the idea that like it might take more than two steps to do something. It's like, no, we just kill Iran's fucking supreme leader and then everything okay. Right.

Okay. Turns out not. But like everything we talked about so far is like a pretty classic second order effect of like regional wars. Like the implications of which should have been considered before, but it doesn't appear they've thought about any of them. And it's not just second order effects they need of Ukraine, but straightforward issues from like counterterrorism to energy prices to how they impact our strategic alliances in the Middle East. and like for example it's official now a pretty hilarious

unattended consequence here is Ali Kamani's son Mojitabi Khamani is now been confirmed as the new Ayatollah. Right. And he's like even more hardcore than his dad was right?

Which is hilarious. Also, not just that is not just that he's more of a hardliner in exactly the ways that, you know, real conservative patriots hate but also his dad and his wife and shit

were just exploded by America, you know what I mean? So, like, he's probably pretty upset about that. So, like, he's very incentivized and motivated to really go hard in the paint, I guess I would, you know, would say.

Like, his dad never actually made the nukes or whatever else, but who knows what this guy's going to fucking do. His dad was morally and strategically opposed to Iran getting a nuclear weapon. And he also, like, he restricted them from, like, they didn't even invest in ballistic missiles that could reach Western Europe because he thought they would see it as a threat.

and it would endanger Iran more. Right. And obviously he miscalculated because he ended up dead anyway. So it's not like, but like, but point is like it's not actually conveyed to people that Ali Khomeini was moderate by the standards of

Right. He was holding Iran back militarily. Right. So, but it's like a common, but even if it was the Khmerini was the same Khmerini. Like it's an old joke that we spent, America spent 20 years in Afghanistan to replace the Taliban.

but the Taliban. It took us less than a week to replace Kamani with Kamani. But yeah, you're right. We killed the old, frail anti-nukai atollah. I haven't replaced with his young, healthy son who wants nukes and he just had his father, mother, wife, and child murdered on the same day by his mortal fucking enemy. Yeah, right. We've been his enemy.

He fought in the Iran-Iraq war. He's a veteran of that, right? So we were arming Iraq to kill his buddies in the 80s. Yeah. Yeah. If he was like a villain in a bomb movie, he'd be kind of a sympathetic one, you know what I mean? You'd be like, I understand this villain's motivations. Even if he is, you know, it's pushed him over the brink and he's taking it too far.

Like, but, you know, I can kind of understand where he's coming from. It was just like making those guys for no fucking reason. When his, as we pointed out last week, when his 86-year-old cancer-ridden dad would have been dead pretty soon anyway. So. And so another way, this is the, his appointment's basically explicit fuck you to us, not just for like extra reasons, but it's, it's considered that internally as well because, like, his appointment was against expressed wishes of his father's will. because the existence of the Revolution 79 was the whole point was to like fight off inherited power like they overthrew a king

it wasn't to establish a new king so we've accidentally like basically overthrew their line of succession to put in a guy who wants to kill all the kid he wants America dead so yeah you're quote here much Tadhi's fortunes improved by Israeli media reports last week complaining that he's already been elected and Trump then explicitly objecting to such an outcome

when challenged by the reports in U.S. media So Israel wrongly said he was the new Supreme Leader. Trump got mad about it, so then they made him a Supreme Leader. See what I'm saying? Yeah. As far as a terrorism threat, this is like, going back to the old color system, the color alert system, I guess, from Iraq War, because this headline Iran, maybe activating sleeper cells outside the country, alert says. So, the U.S. has intercepted the encrypted communications believed have originated in Iran that may serve as an operational trigger for sleeper. assets outside the country according to federal government alerts into law enforcement.

The alert reviewed by ABC News cites quote preliminary signals analysis end quote of a transmission likely of Iranian origin that was relayed across multiple countries shortly after the death of Khomeini. So I read an expert who was like basically eye rolling at this saying it's fearmongery bullshit. This signal intercept is kind of a hand radio waging leak. It's not something super covert and it was probably a jammer signal to block US radio broadcast and doing Tokyo Rose bullshit. that said I'm not sure why they would need some sort of secret coded message like some supposedly I'm not sure if the reality of this

but the good because our government's pushing it out but there's some fatwa issued by a cleric in Iraq saying it's like the every martyr's duty to make war in the United States to defend Iran I don't doubt that this is going to lead to somebody already led to the shooting in Austin kind of right like somebody's going to walk into a building in a store and shoot it up. I don't know why they need like M-T-U Ultra activation words to do that.

I guess the picture is trying to paint it's something like organized sleeper cell who's like going to like attack a water plant or something. But anyway. Anyway, speaking with the fatwa, televangelist John Hagee and he's also chairman of the Christian United for Israel delivered a sermon at Cornerstone Church

in San Antonio a couple days ago standing in front of a banner reading God's coming Operation Epic Fury in his ceremony thanked Trump for having, quote, crushed the enemies of Zion, end quote. So, yeah, I do agree that religious fanatics are a problem in this war.

I just don't agree that they're all in our handsides. Yeah. Yeah, no, did we talk last week about the general who was telling his troops about bringing about the end times and shit, like you were talking earlier about revelations? What Trace talking about is

there were like a hundred different complaints about four different officers who were basically making their troops go to Bible studies and talk about that Trump is incensed as God's light to bring about the apocalypse

by raging a war in Iran because they're like Air Force General was doing this and they complained to the military faith freedom alliance or something about it so it's going to be lawsuits about that. Like, for whatever reason

a lot of army officers tend to be right-wing psychos. Yeah. I would expect it to be less so in the Air Force, but it appears to be more so in the Air Force because they rain death in the skies

I guess. They have to leave it all on God's hands. yeah i also would have thought that they would have fewer incidents that's just me stereotyping though because i've always gotten the impression whatever you know air force yeah exactly air force smarter marine dumber you know and then in between and it's funny because my buddy with you know my buddy is a marine is super uh lefty and hates all that shit but um but yeah they're you always think of them as being like more reasonable at least than cops but that's a pretty low bar and Also, a lot of them are, you know, pretty disconcerting philosophies about things with guys who end up in the military.

And I don't know if it's better or worse for the ones that go like career, though. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I think it depends on what they got into. Because I think about this a lot because I think about the idea of having rational people at the top to prevent, like, the actual apocalypse in, you know, when zero hour comes or whatever. Are they actually there or are they like salivating for that to happen? You know? Yeah. I mean, what it comes down to you is do you love your televangelist more than you love your children?

And the amazing number of people go the wrong way with that question. My thing about the terror thing is like even if it's not largely fake, why are they telling, like, what am I supposed to do about it? Yeah. Like they just wonder by everybody, don't forget, we're at war, it would be more racist. like it's like like like what I guess I'm supposed to do is like make like a side up sheet to keep an eye on the Persian guy runs my local local gas station like you know I got first watch my wife's got the 4-6 p.m. shift or some shit like I don't fucking know so the first on-intending consequence number five I think we're on is the oil supply

which is you know drastically down roughly speaking about 35% of the oil that normally transits the straight-of-ore moves is still reaching export markets for into Bloomberg and I'm going to go out here from the Katari energy minister on Friday. He said he expects all the Gulf energy producers to shut down exports within weeks and drive a little to $150 a barrel. Quote, everybody does not call it for force majeure. We expect we'll do so in the next few days that this continues. All exporters in the Gulf region will have to call force majeure.

I don't know if he's being honest if he's just trying to scare the shit out of Trump. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But either way, that's like if all the Gulf states, like because basically because they can't ship the oil all their storage tanks are full so they have to cap their wells you know i think iraq's basically shut down all their wool production that's not something it takes a while to start all that back up even if you try even if the war was ended today right right um it's an environment where south korea set to cap fuel prices

their president says in thailand they have a running tally of how many days where the fuel the country has left so yeah Thailand might not be able to run their hospitals because Donald Trump is mad at Iran for reasons he cannot explain. But don't worry, Trump told the New York Post there's no reason to panic over Iran. Well, Iran war oil price surge. He said, quote, I have a plan for everything. You'll be very happy. And he'll quote him in the New York Post.

Trump did not provide additional details. Yeah, it checks out. And again, but again, you know, people that love him were like, oh, okay, good. I am happy now. And then they just go about their day. So, like, some of the options he has here, he could, like, tap the Strategic Oil Reserve, except that, like, Biden tapped it in 2022

because of, like, gas price surges over the last energy crisis. I think it had to have to do with Russia or some shit. And he was in the process of filling it back up, the 220 millions, the gallons they dumped out. When Trump came into office, he stopped filling it back up while gas prices were low. And no one really knows why.

There's no explained reason. I guess so they could use the money on other shit, like tax cuts, right? So, but you said like everyone, people support him go, who, whenever he says I have a plan. But like the stock market's doing that too. They're just wheeling it afloat. Right. Basically, the only thing proper to global economy is Wall Street's collective belief that a man whose father, wife, and daughter were killed would not want to do anything that would impact our 401 case.

I know. Well, that's like, that's kind of what I was trying to say earlier when you're talking about the oil futures, whatever else when I was saying, it's like, yeah, but it just doesn't, none of it seems rational to me anyway. We've been talking for years about Tesla's, you know, purported value and how there's nothing in reality that actually, like, backs that up other than just vibes. And even the vibes around Tesla haven't been good for a while now. And like, so, yeah, you said they're just like they're just refusing, they're just willing it to not be bad. But it's like, I don't know. It seems like they can just do that or something if they, enough of them want to. Like it's all, none of it's like real.

I don't know. Like there's a I mean there's a there's a there's a movie about a bunch of very correct investors going going insane because of this dynamic. It's called the big short. It's very enjoyable. So but the markets are basically doing a kind of Pascal's wager here. We're like either the, the basis is a binary choice. Well, either the US can reopen Hormuz by force before the world economy cracks or it won't work in which case Trump will chicken out in which case the war will end and the markets will go back to normal. Right. they don't consider Iran an independent factor here at all. Like, what if we stop, but Iran keeps the straight close to punish us and make sure we don't. Like, we're in there,

y'all going to learn part of this. Which I think people understand. Like, Iran's, like, they just got bombed last year. Then we escalated and killed their fucking president, their supreme leader. And now it's like, they don't care if they send the global economy into a fucking great depression. If it makes sure that no one ever fucks with them again.

Right. So does anyone have a plan for that? Right. Yeah. The idea that we could just be like, nah, never mind. And walk away and it'd be fine is not. That presumes that they'll, you know, that they'll be on board with that.

And there's no reason for us to think that that's the case. Israel blew up a bunch of oil facilities on the outskirts of Tehran. And it's raining oil there. Like they'd rained and oil residue was like covering everything. Yeah. This is in Iraq war, when the first one, when Saddam's it fired to Kuwaiti oil fields, the same thing happened, and 20 years later,

a ton of our troops were dead of cancer. Right? So we've conflicted a cancer genocide on a city of 10 million people. We in Iran. And we're like, well, start the economy again, guys. We're done with it.

I don't know if they're going to do that. I don't know if anyone else either. It does either. And I don't know if I don't think our government has a plan for it. So, you know, anyway, Iran is like significantly has electrified power grid and electric cars now, so yeah, they'll be fine.

Unintentioned consequence number six, we just set the clocks for this weekend, Trey. It's spring, it's planting seasons, how the farmer's doing. Some of you I want to consider before you start a war in a Persian Gulf this time of year, is the Gulf countries have a bigger share of the global fertilizer market than they do the oil and gas market. Collectively, golf countries as a whole of the second largest global fertilizer exporter. Number one is Russia, who we suppose they have sanctioned. So Russia's counting those roubles right now. It is like taking a step back here.

It's kind of funny to me how specifically Trump is a plague on American farmers. Yeah. Right, I know. If I had to pick a demographic that voted for him most of all, it's probably farmers. Right. And everything he does just fucks them sideways in every hole. It's like, it's like a biblical plague on the American farm industry. Yeah.

I mean, it is particularly. agreegious with farmers. But the whole thing with him, it's, I feel like he does that to almost every demographic he has, except for, like, his fellow, you know, the aforementioned Christian conservative CEOs specifically or whatever. And even them, some of them, like, he's not doing any favors to just, like, the general economy or anything. So, like, it's not even really helping them out all that much, but everybody else that loves him, he fucks him over, like, gladly and regularly. With a plumb, he fucks them over, and they

accept and ask for more. He's fucked over the American arms industry. You'd think, okay, well, the military industrial conflicts should be doing great, right? We're at war. No, but our allies are watching, let me quote here, American allies are watching in disbelief as the Pentagon reroughts weapons shipments to aid the Iran war, angry and scared, the arms of the U.S. demanded

they buy will never reach them. So you ever have your Christmas present come late in the mail tray, and you got to watch the neighbor kid about his new bike while yours is still in transit. It's like that, but France watching us get F-15s they paid for get shot down.

Like, it's like, so they're going to have to pivot their supply chains to other sources and start like buying, like stand up their own domestic weapons like industry or whatever. Like, which whatever's hoaring the Western Alliance together,

a lot of it is the fact that dependent upon the American weapons platforms. I know. I was going to say that. It's like it's a real like mass off moment for us. They have to be shitting themselves. I mean, I'm sure they have been for some time now, especially just with Trump being there, period.

But yeah, this is like it's reaching a, well, I don't want to crawl it a crescendo. It's, who God only knows how much worse it could get. But yeah, it's, they have to be pretty alarmed, I would imagine, all of our Western allies. Because we were so much of what was holding it together was the sort of,

the like facade of American military might and the world police and the hegemony and all that shit. And we're just pooping all over that. So. So, Trump's trying to get, like, because we're running out of, the reason we're stealing weapons that we sold other people already

and moving stuff from Asia, he's like, we don't we're running out stuff. So Trump said the social media posts, he met with the defense executives on Friday, including Boeing, North of Grumman, RTX, and Lockheed, who agreed to quadruple the production of, quote, exquisite class weapons. So, yeah, we're just going to go through droople it. Yes, sir, we'll get right till we're going to true droople it.

Trump did not explain which systems that entailed are how the U.S. plan to rapidly build factories, higher workers, and increased weapons production. Let me quote here from a former NATO official. There's always this idea that there's a world in which we have to go, which we just have to go full World War II, but in World War II, producing Sherman tanks was pretty close to producing tractor engines. Producing a Patriot missile is not pretty close to producing a Tesla. There's also the part where the weapons were burning through the most, like the interceptors and stuff, require a lot of rare earth metals, which we, the reason of it was, the reason

we want to invade Greenland and Canada since we're running out of those. Right. So this is

anyway so undetriending consequence number eight is the free golf money and investment

money is drawn up. The entire AI industry and therefore 40% of the stock market relies

on low energy prices and a stable Middle East for its growth projection

fucking oops. More than half the dram and nan ships have provided electronic

services with their short and long-term manufacturing in South Korea which like we said

is going to run out of oil and energy. About 70% of advanced processing chips found in smartphones, PCs, and data centers are made in Taiwan. And those two of the countries most dependent on liquefied natural gas exports from Qatar, which is fucking shutting down. They forgot to ask Claude if Claude needed Claude. So we're coming down to here.

I know we need to wrap up for a second, so I'm speeding up here. So Tencent, which is a Chinese company, is considering investing in, you're going to, you're Paramount Skydats corporations acquisition of Water Brothers Discovery which is fucking hilarious. Ten cents is a Chinese investment fund. Larry Ellison also bawled TikTok.

Last year, Chinese ownership of our media, specifically TikTok, was so dangerous we had to force the sale of TikTok from China, Larry Ellison. Right. Now the Trump economy is in such a shitter.

We have to force the sale of Larry Ellison to China. Yeah. Yeah. While also buying Russian oil again and fucking the fertilizer and all this other stuff stuff. Yeah. So

I want anybody who thinks this makes sense if you've gotten through this episode I want to ask you fucking how like what with all their stated objectives with the need to the you know

existential need to build AI while we put the data centers in the Middle East and fucking Iran's bombing them with $20,000 drones Anyway, the only thing to come out of this is Neom didn't finish getting built. So we don't have to watch the tragedy of Iran hitting Neom, the Line City, with a Chehedro.

So we're saved that tragedy. Always a silver lining from Mark Aegee. Thank you guys for watching. Go to Treycrowder.com and look at them up, coming to her dates. Come see me on the road. I'll be in Colorado this weekend. After that is Burlington, I think, but a lot of other places in the near future. Check out producer Matt's audio exclusive.

Good skews, good people doing good things. Sorry, Wisconsin is next week after Colorado and then Burlington. But yeah, the good skews is on the audio feed of this show. And if you want bonus episodes of this show and the ad-free versions of the main episodes, consider signing up on Patreon $5 a month. You get all that, which includes skew-n-a's from us, roughly quarterly. Go to weekly skews.com slash more or just go to Patreon and search for my name. Either way, it works.

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