Weekly Skews - S6 Ep29: Weekly Skews – Texas and The Manic Pixie Dream Vegan

Episode Date: June 3, 2026

Nigeria has the rare political scandal that would make a fun Disney movie where a candidate turned out to be a literal child. An immature congressman? Can’t have that. Then, we get into the Texas campaign for the U.S. Senate and the tens of millions of dollars worth of mud about to be slung at James Talarico, which so far amounts to “It’s communist to eat meat veganly” and “He has a girlfriend, but queerly.” Trae has an actual job at an office for one week, so Mark is joined by Drew Morgan this week. Come hang.This episode of weekly skews is brought to you by Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to https://www.quince.com/skew  for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% at  https://www.betterhelp.com/skews Weekly Skews is also brought to you by Americans United for Separation of Church and State. If you believe religious freedom is supposed to protect everybody, not be weaponized to turn away good families, visit https://www.au.org/crooked to learn more and become a member today. Weekly Skews is brought to you by Leesa. Leesa builds mattresses around how you actually sleep. Visit https://www.leesa.com for 30% off select mattresses, plus an extra $50 off with promo code SKEW, exclusive

Good evening and welcome to Weekly Skews. It is Tuesday, June 2nd. I am Mark Aegee and joining me this week because Trey is in an office like some sort of regular fucking schmuck. It is Drew Morgan. What's up, Drew? Hey, what's up, guys? I am here as the standing host for Trey Crowder and I'm joined by Peabody Award winning. Mark Aegee. How does what stuff did you keep that from us? Even in a story? How did it not come up when we were just arguing about journalistic and deck? or something. No, no. See, so background, for whatever reason, last night, Corey was talking about

how he always wanted to win a Peabody Award and I was making fun of him that I remembered that I, I didn't personally, I worked for a show that won a Peabody Award. That was Patriot Act.

But I don't even know what a Peabody Awarded it, because it'd be like a TV, like this year's winners are a TV show, a magazine, a dog that can do tricks. And then it's like,

like everybody, who doesn't get it, like I don't even know what it is. It's fucking stupid. So anyway, I had no idea what Corey wants one. Not only do I have one, I'm too good for it also. I don't have it.

Like, I don't, like, there's nothing, like, I don't have it. I was just gloating to Corey. You won a Peabody Award, dude. You're a Peabody winner. Like, that's a fact. No, I mean, I literally didn't remember it to we were talking about it for like an hour. That's how important it is in my life. I did, so I just got back.

You were at the beach last week, too, right? You were in Alabama, is that right? Yeah, Orange Beach, right by Florida. Like, right? We accidentally drove to Florida one night. So we're looking at the same sun-drenched redneck on a raft out there somewhere. You and I gazing out and let the Gulf. The funniest thing I saw in Florida, the related to stuff we talk about on this show,

is an official Florida license plate that had the Gazden flag and you don't tread on me on it. Someone paid the government. No, I didn't know they had it. I didn't know they had it. Dude, I give him hell all the time. like and he forgets like once a year I'll be like dude I don't know you can get those

he's like yeah man I mean like how'd you get it he's like oh you just fell the paperwork yeah the paperwork yeah the paperwork who's paperwork you just go online online where the government the government website and he's like you motherfucker I honestly

I hope the government is putting extra tracking chips in the gasoline flag license plates I just fucking hope that they're doing that that would kill me but like you're paying the you're financing the treading on you Yeah, you're paying him extra to be tread upon. I mean, all the jokes about him having a kink for it. It's really true.

I think I've told you this before, and this one's dark, in my opinion, because if you really get into this one, this one is fucked up. A young prosecutor, when I was a public defender of Miami-Dade, we saw him at a bar one time, and so he didn't have his suit on. He had it, and the don't-tread-tread-on-be-fraise, on his forearm. Oh? Well, brother, we're at a bar. and I'm drunk

they had to like carry me out of there I was screaming at this man I mean it started out just like making fun of him and then he started getting mad and I was like what are you going to do are you going to prosecute me

you know you're going to prosecute me and then right before you send me away you're going to talk about how you're not treading anybody he's like it's about the government you know taking up arms against people I was like it's about government overreach and you know I just I was just calling him a moron.

And I remember it really turned when his trial partner, Brian was his name, black guy, which like, you know, who's the guilty of your party here? But anyway, Brian, the black prosecutor was like, I don't know, man, he's got a pretty good point. That actually, that actually might have been when I made a man. I might have been like, yeah, listen to Brian, the black prosecutor. You guys are quite a fucking pair, I tell you what, and they got pretty mad about that. We got a fun show I want to talk about. So we're going to be talking about the Texas Senate race.

Before we get into that, I real quick want to mention this and then talk about a fun story with you. But so Bill Pulte, he's an inheritance kid. His only job experience is working for his father's real estate trust fund, I think. But he's been working at the Fannie Mae trying to find paperwork crimes to charge Trump's enemies with related to mortgage fraud, even though they didn't do any mortgage fraud. But anyway, so I don't want to talk about any of that. But he has no experience in intelligence, but they nominated him to be the DNI to replace Tulsi Gabbard. But what I do want to mention is that he went to college at Northwestern where he was the president of Pai Cap Alpha, I think it was the name of the fraternity.

When he was a senior president of the fraternity, they had a young freshman pledge by the name of Chet Hanks. So our new director of National Intelligence supervised Chet Hayes while he was hazed for a fraternity. Like our new director of National Intelligence has probably watched Chet Hayes drink beer from a butt crack. And that's basically his only qualification. Wait, it might be you and it might be me. I feel like you said Chet Hanks and then you said Chet Hays. Which is it?

Chet Hayes is a rap name. I did not know that. I was not without a blu-blet-dustleck disrespect of chat man. Yeah. I want you to know that Trey is also a pike. Oh, wow. Okay. So we have three.

So Trey and Chet Hanks are turned me. Bro. that's so great we live in a simulation yeah so I just feel like it's representative of everything going in our country that the person in charge was stopping the next 9-11

was a fraternity brothers with shit Hanks so everything that's going on in our culture it's like the WWEification of everything you know it's like who you know how much clout you have all that stuff that's certainly been a thing but Trump's really exemplified it

it's really kind of dark and scary even though it is very funny yeah but one thing it does make you feel better as other countries also have silly shit going on, which is why I want to get to the story out of Nigeria, which you will really enjoy. I want to play this coverage from Russia today

of a congressional candidate in Nigeria if you got this footage, Matt. Joining us today is Muhammad Sadis. Buba. One that I've got to be able to. Zasou, who's imagines has generated conversation around leadership, inclusion, and public perception.

It's a pleasure to have you with us. Thank you. Okay. So seems legit, right? Everything about it seems solely legit. She's talking about, like the reporter's talking about how his emergence has, like, led to conversations around leadership and inclusion. It's because Abuba had presented himself as a 30-year-old politician who is so tiny because he has dwarfism,

which is what makes him look so much younger than his real age. Oh, you're not allowed to ask. No, he volunteered. I don't know what the law is around Dias stuff. All right. No, you can't. Like here anyway, I don't think you could be like, hey, are you really nine? Well, you have to be 25 to run for Congress in the United States.

So someone would have to double check at some point. But yeah, it turns out that someone got a hold of his passport. And it turns out it's these passport says he's actually 15 years old, which also doesn't track to me. He looks, he's fucking eight years old. So like he's stealing dwarf valor or something. Or maybe he's a 15 year old dwarf. I don't know. But like, you remember the back in like,

we were kids. There would always be these Puerto Rican dudes playing the Little League World Series. That's exactly I was thinking about the Blue League World Series. Hell, dude. I mean, there's people in the league right now who didn't pan out. And part of the reason they're good. Don't get me wrong. They're good baseball players. But part of the reason that they got drafted so high is because they were a 25-year-old

pretending to be 17. And a 25-year-old baseball player's ability in a 17-year-old is one of the most impressive things the Scout has ever seen. I think, we invented this. Well, we the West. Like, I don't think this is on Africa, dude. I think they just took our baseball move and applied it. This is AAU basketball in politics.

I guess, like, yeah. So before, here's another funny thing about this. Before reading politics, Booba said his backstreet was he said he used to be a truck driver. So yeah, just had a long day driving a truck where my feet don't reach the fucking pedals. Oh, my God. I love it, dude. It's like what's a grown-up... Yeah, it's like a little rascal trying to come with a grown-up job.

It's like, what do you do? It's like, oh, I'm going to wear a fake mustache. Like, oh, I'm a truck driver. Just like, I'm a man to the people. Like, what are they? He probably does that truck to play with. I watched the little rascals this weekend with my son, and they go into a bank.

And instead of three kids in a trench coat, it's six kids in two trench coats. And I'll never forget because... I was quoting the movie because it used to be my favorite one, but he goes, The banker goes, who played by Mel Brooks, if you were my kids, I'd punish you. And Buckwheat goes,

if we were your kids, we'd punish ourselves. And honestly, that kid, not racism, not racism, look it up, he looks like Buckwhee. Okay. So his support is often referred to him with a name name such as the Wonder of Zaria and Al-Jabin Zazau, which means the marvel of Zazal.

And like I said, I don't think he's 16 either if you got this next video, Matt, to get a good look at him. It's just him playing Lego. What a little chair. Yeah, that's a picture. If you got this next video, Matt, so he's standing on a chair there.

Okay, let me say this too, and not trying to be woke, being sincere before you hit the video. Go ahead, hit it. He's not a little to a lambo. I'm done it while when no somber. I'm going to tell you. and allah can tell you and chum my mity and chum i am i don't know he translated for you right now so what he's saying there is quote this is his dropping out video after the scandal bro

quote unquote scandal because it's really hardworned nobody got horrid by this because of my because of politics my dignity is being attacked i've been humiliated i've been harassed because of how allah created me so all the haters and the fake news are saying he's only three feet tall when you can see him he's pulling a trump about only being eight years old and he can God. See, I said it. I said it. You're not allowed to ask because this is what happens. The woke mob comes after you. If you ask an eight-year-old, are you really eight? We don't think you're a dwarf. I got to say this. And this is again, I'm not trying to be woke. We can laugh at this because it's fun. But Americans can't, don't do the thing of like, man, look how crazy Nigeria is. Because a kid that talented here, I'm not saying you're doing it. I'm just saying like a kid that talented here, We would make him a movie star and he would be on meth by the time he was 14. And apparently, I'm learning in the last year, raped by an executive producer. So this is super fucked up, but it's also like, it's kind of funny.

It's like really funny. Bro, there's a guy in Congress from Tennessee. I forget his name, what his name is, but like his current wife, he met her when she was 16. He visited her high school as a congressman. Yeah. So he You go see and

together now. So like this guy This pretends like his passport He's a real age, 15, 16. He's old enough to date American congressmen So I say he's old enough

To be in Congress, is my point. But anyway, I still think he's not 15 But if you want to see This other mind-blowing thing After he dropped out, he went to the mall

You got to see this video. This is a supposed 15 years old He was trying to be in Congress. He went to the mall And rode a little horsey around. I'm going to lose my fucking life. Okay

Wait, that's him littler, though That doesn't look eight, that looks for Okay, as someone Who enjoys Respectfully Who enjoys little people Micro Wrestling Federation, that kind of thing, I'm into that.

I'm just saying I'm an expert, but that's not as worth as a kid. Dead is an eight-year-old I, unless he has something, it's all different. I know he said. He doesn't look to me. I don't have his medical records, but yes, he looks like a normally proportioned kit.

All right, so we got producer Matt here with us on the ones and twos. Once again, I'm Mark. That's Drew. Let's get into it. Matt, we don't do the ads on this version like this. So let's get right into it. Matt, Daily Dumbass graphic, please. Tonight's Daily Dumbass is the world's

worst open mic for starting while we were still sober. Here's a clip of Stephen Miller on Fox News, talking about James Talley. Be bold. What could even say brave, courageous, that the Democratic Party would choose Texas of all places to nominate their first transgender Senate candidate who's clearly transitioning into a female. You know, when Calarico goes in for a blood test, when it gets a physical, blood doesn't come out, instead soy milk comes out. This man has less testosterone than Crockett. It is a mind-boggling choice. They would choose a person to run for. or that office who looks like he doesn't belong in the Senate, but in a cabaret show.

So at the end of the day, okay, so it goes on like that for a while. Like, this is like the worst unfunny should have ever seen in my entire fucking life. Jesse Waters should honestly get a fucking Oscar nomination for laughing at that shit. Because I don't believe Jesse Waters actually thought that was funny. Even Jesse Waters isn't that fucking stupid.

I don't think anyone thought that was funny. No. But they like- Do you think he ran it on his wife? like the way we used to. You know what I mean? Like that's like a thing in the community, in the comedy community,

like your first audience is the person you're dating and you torture them with your bits. I can't believe this is true, but I think that might be the worst thing he's ever done. And I want you guys all listening to know that I know everything that he's done. I know all the evil he's done that. That's in the top three.

Yeah, to me, it's the worst thing he's done to me, definitely. I will say, like, I don't understand these sort of, these texts don't, like, So I've written it for enough, like, roasts and roast adjacent stuff. You sort of get like a basic understanding of what joke's going to land on people. Like, for example, like a fat joke's not going to land on someone who wears, who's well put together. It doesn't matter how big they are. If they wear a nice shirt that's tucked in, their hair's done, they're clean shaven, it's just not going to land.

For whatever reason, the things that people in particularly clock to, like, Tala Rico does not code as gay to me. he codes as like youth pastor. Yeah, yeah. They would have called him a child rapist, but they don't have that in their arsenal anymore. For the next four years, they don't get that one. You're completely right. It's insane.

It's also insane to watch that fucking blob lizard shit, try to talk about like gender in terms of expression. Like, that's not what a man is. He looks like a soy boy to me. That dude weighs 57 pounds. He's built like a bird's bone. Do you remember when he sprayed on hair and went on TV? No.

Yeah, one time he went on TV once just all of a sudden had hair again. Everybody made fun of him that he was bald again the next day because everyone hurt his feelings. But like, Tyler was running against Ken Paxton, who doesn't coat his masculine either. He's just a horny creep, which is different. Kim? Huh? We're going to play gender games and they're running him against someone named Kim. Ken.

Ken. Okay, my bet. Yeah. And the other senator from Texas is Ted Cruz, who has the physique of one man boob, right? Like, this is what he is. But I wanted to, like, so the same, literal same episode of Jesse Waters Show, Benny Johnson went on, who I need, like, if you don't know who Benny Johnson is, a conservative, like, influencer kind of guy. Benny Johnson is closeted gay, allegedly. I got to say allegedly here because he sues people who tattling him for being on Washington, D.C.

Grinder, because he has a wife and kid. but like it's a fairly open secret. I don't care that he is. He's the one who cares that he is. But I want to quote here, the Benny Johnson and Jesse Waters Show. It's a Xerox copy of the same untight five that Stephen Miller just ran.

You've heard of Beto O'Rourke. Dems are now running Betta O'Dork. James Tala Rico is the Dylan Mulvaney Bud Light Ad of political campaigns. Michelle Obama has more testosterone. own. Low T. Talarico could be played

by Elliot Page. All that's like stupid and gross and doesn't really make sense. But like this part doesn't even make any sort of sense.

This Texan eats barbecue with a napkin. Disqualified. Motherfucker, people in Texas use napkins. Oh, I'm so stupid. I thought he meant like

literally instead of a fork. Like he's like, what? I was like, I think you just misread that one. It's great too because you're so, much funnier than them.

Like, that was better than what they're doing. So what you're saying to me, this was a different episode, I hope. No, the same episode. It was like 10 minutes later, the same show, yes, yes. Dude, who is this writer? And how do we get that bag? I just, you know what I mean? Because I could make it purposefully this bag.

Clearly they'd fall for it. I will say this. I think this will stuff will work on my father-in-law. I don't think he'll think it's the funniest joke he's ever heard. I think he'll chuckle, and then he'll start saying to his friends on the golf course, that James Tellerico is feminine. And look, it doesn't like, that at least would land as a joke to me.

It doesn't matter to me. I don't understand why anybody would fucking care at this point. But like, if you're calling him like a little bit of a sissy, which is how this started, then I'm like, okay, it makes the sort of sense, even if I don't care about it and find it weird. But, but like, so if you, so what happened last Tuesday, the reason all these texts just started recently is like Ken Paxman beat John cornon and the Texas Republican president.

Senate primary. Now, Ken Paxton, if you're not aware of who Ken Paxton is, is the current Texas Attorney General. And he was impeached a year or two ago by the Republicans in the State House for being one of the most corrupt motherfuckers you could ever imagine. Now, he wasn't convicted in the Senate because they put a lot of, the, you know, big money people and the MAGA people put a lot of pressure on. But the basic thing he was, he was impeached for a bunch of shit. But the Cliffsnote version of, footnot's version of it is, he took a bunch of money

less than you would imagine from a rich guy who should have been in jail and instead cover him cover up crimes in exchange for this this building contractor or whatever the guy has.

Put a free deck on his house I think, gave his mistress a free job to be paid to be an office and should be around to have sex with Ken Paxton and set up a fake Uber account

so Ken Paxton wouldn't get caught going to his mistress's house. This guy was paying for his Uber's. So his wife's in the middle of divorcing him. The divorce trials in a couple weeks. His wife was also, she's a

state senator who was on the jury that voted to not convict him. So she basically made sure he could keep the griff going. So she should get half of it because she's also a scumbag. She was on the jury. How the fuck did that happen? She's a Texas. She's a state senator. Yeah, but still. Although the Senate votes to convict

when you didn't get impeached. So it's I get that. But you correct me if I'm wrong, you're talking about his wife. Yes. Yeah, even with the Senate. Even with the Senate, I understand the Senate gets to decide whether or not you're impeached. But even with the Senate, I feel like, be like, hey, one person has to abstain on this vote. Right. She should have. She didn't.

She voted to get her husband off so she could get a bigger cut of the brides. Are they from different districts? I'm so sorry. I'm getting hung up on this, but you're no, he's the attorney general. He doesn't have a district. Oh, right, right, right. My bad, my bad, my, my, my, right. Right. So, yeah, they're from outside of Dallas. So, so anyway, they're trying to, like, muddy up Tala Rico to make, to try to make it like, it's like, well, they're both shitty but they're not both shitty yeah he's a superstar

he's like the only like what is it that we're always looking for for the Democrat from the machine what is it like no nonsense you know liberal or whatever like middle of the road like he's the only

it's like he's the only good Christian they found the only actual Christ-like person and they're trying to throw something at him yeah he goes like tell who's running shit how do I want to phrase this? You can tell that whoever they're paying to come up with these

has a Gen Z or a younger millennial on there who's like, and they're like, how does the internet work? And they're like, well, here are the top five trending things and here's how you stay in the algorithm. And they're like, great. Call them gay. Go with that.

Like it's just straight out of some sort of like, all right, this is how we took down and it doesn't apply. You understand what I'm saying? It's like this very element. understanding of how the internet works. Ironically, it's sort of working because we are talking about it.

Well, yeah, I mean, I don't, it might work in the sense that, like, you can mislead people a lot just putting a bunch of vague bullshit in there and give them the sense that something's a lot, you know, even if none of the attacks sort of makes sense on their own. So, yeah, it's, so, but

along to your point, let me quote here from this piece, headline, the GOP's attacks from James Telerico are straight up the in-sale handbook. It's not just like internet coded. It's a specific wing of the internet that's from like four chan posts and stuff. Where like if you're like,

if you're not familiar with the lingua franca of school shooters, this stuff won't totally track to you. Yeah. I guess I was trying to express and I was expressing it poorly. This appeals to a specific subset of their base. But like that those people aren't voting for James Tellerico anyway. So this kind of doesn't make sense to me. Right.

No, it doesn't. It's from people that are like really, really really up their own ass and their own bullshit. Like all the average, like, you know, college Republican does speak school shooter. So all their interns, all the people they're talking to do speak this language. But let me quote here from, from Paxton's like victory speech.

He's even running a vegan campaign, whatever that is. He goes by a few names you may all have heard of. Some people know him as tofu Taurico. Some people call him six-gender Jimmy. I've even heard some people call him James Talafrico, and those refer to him simply as low-tie Tala Rico. By the way, Tlafriko actually hits. Not in a bad way, but that's a fucking cool-ass nickname,

and T-Lorrico's already making T-shirts of that on it, so that one's a fucking winner. So, like I said... Tala-Frico. Tala-Friko. People who don't know. I'm not naive here, but if you guys are, like, I know that, like, political backstories,

like, people would want to run for office, start building their resume when they're in ninth grade, right? I'm not stupid. But like, on paper, Talarico did all the right things. Like, he bucking, he went to divinity school. By the way, his church, like, the pastor in that church, I think, started doing gay marriages when it was still illegal, like, 20 years ago. Like, he's like, he's a real OG, like, Jesus, Jesus was a communist kind of, like, preacher, right? Tellerigo went to divinity school. Then he got a degree from Harvard, then went to

elementary school. So he might have, you can say, well, he's just being a good person, so one day he could run for a Senate, but that's better than the opposite. what's yeah well but that's the what the Republican Party does understand is that their base doesn't actually care about that

one way or the other they don't care if the candidate is a good person if he's saying or going to vote for the right things hey what's up Trump and they don't care if the opposite side is a good person if he or she's going to vote

for the wrong things but it's still like strange to watch it play out because you're sort of like dude, just tell everyone that he loves gays, immigrants, and trans and then you probably will win Texas because those things are true and like, you know, that's what people

seem to care about, but it's actually really because of that, it's doing my heart good to see them flounder like this, genuinely. This kind of reminds me of when the Democrats used to and still do and seemingly always will run someone who's like oftentimes just a corporate

hack, no eyes. They've worked for McKenzie their whole life. They'll say whatever, and then what they say is like it's Pride Month and it's like sure, but great. What are you going to do though for us? This is

like their version of that. I'm glad they're here. They are like, they have been culturally a step behind us in the identity politics game. They just take it and make it their thing and it's gross. This feels like that and it's a loser move. I mean, that's the upshed. guy here, right? This is loser shit.

It's like, I wonder how many people this fool are someone, because, like, what they're trying to do here, and it's like, it's an interesting magic trick, but they're trying to redefine vice as masculine coded. And we all do this to a certain degree. It's like, oh, somebody burps and farts and then, like, scratches the armpits.

Like, oh, men's stuff, huh? But, like, doing that when you're accused of stealing money and cheating on your wife a bunch of times. Like, his, there's a rumor, I have no idea if it's true or not, but, like, Like, Paxton has a steady stream of mistresses.

The current word, allegedly, is that his present mistress is still married with seven kids. Right? I almost did it. I almost said, hell yeah. Wait, you know she fucks. No. But, like, it's like, that is a war crime. You're taking seven kids' mother?

That's a nuclear bomb of cheating. So, like, I, like. God damn right. So let me say this then. Let me defend them. They have observed over the years, they being Republicans in the Republican machine, that telling potential Republican voters and Republican voters,

we can't tax rich people, one day you'll be rich. And won't that hurt your feelings? Maybe they're now being like, we can't punish people for having seven mistresses. One day you'll actually get the fuck. And won't that hurt your feelings? Like the aspirational, we can't do it, is really impressive.

Maybe that's all this is. Right. So, like, when a politician gets caught with, like, a 17 or 18 year old, whatever, like, the biggest of the hidden promises, well, what if your babysitter wants to fuck? One of those, right? Yeah, what if your son gets caught doing this? Because I have heard conservative women just be like, well, that's just how men are. Yeah.

And it's like, yeah, the men, you love. Oh, my God, that's what this is about. Wow. Yeah. So, but I think with part of the secret saucers, like, they think because Trump gets away with all this stuff that they should be able to do. And maybe, maybe the sales pitch will work. But, like, but, like, Ken Paxton's problem is, like, he has, like, I'm surprised as many women, I mean, power and money must be a huge efferdezy act because, like, he has the charisma of, like, a cardboard cut out of Ken Paxton has more sexual appeal than Ken Paxton does. But, like, they're trying to, like, basically trying to be like, well, he's also an alpha because he also lies, sheets and steals.

and they're not even trying to hide the ball on it. Here's an interview with Ken Paxton where he sort of makes this point. Well, what are you going to do about your own record and your own perception? The Wall Street Journal describes you as scandal plague. Look, that was all pushed by Carl Rove, and I understand how that works. I get why they said that. The reality is they could say the same thing about Donald Trump. when you're fighting them.

Sure, they say I'm a sex criminal and a thief, but those are the same true things they say about Donald Trump. We talked about on the well-red podcast that the way to end, like if Biden, for example, it would have worked, I think, if Kamala had done it, had just, like, called him a slur. And you know the one I'm thinking of. It would just take the sale out of that bullshit.

And this is, I'm not condoning this, but just in terms of how it works, if someone slapped that guy on national TV, it would be, like, that whole game would be over. If someone slapped Donald Trump, that whole game would be over. Like, if you're going to play that game of, well, I'm a man, that's what men do. We fuck behind our wives' backs and we steal.

And it's like, all right, that's an insane. Your premise is insane. Your conclusion is insane. But if we're going to play that game, then let's just have a fist fight. And then the winner gets to be senator. because I don't think Tala Rico's strong

but he's younger than that old bag of bones Yeah I'm not sure I don't really don't know because of how television works their actual height and weight to be but it would not surprise when Kim Paxson's like 5 foot 4

but I think what would really help Paxson is the Democrats could like arrange some sort of false flagged sex scandal where he gets accused of like stringing a bunch of women along on situationships and like dating apps I think that would really help get him elected

but like another scandal or like a lady's like he touched my book booms, but never liked a single one on my Instagram reels. Something like sort of mild, like, sort of ghosting sort of thing. But the Democrats have sort of like tried to do that because they've they've hard launched his girlfriend. Tellerigo's forced to hard launch his girlfriend who did not want to be in the public eye. And we'll get to that after a break. We'll be right back. This episode of Weekly Skews is brought to you by Quince. Summer is in full swing and that means

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And we're back. So like I said, James Al-Rick has been forced by the Fox News cinematic universe who was leading fun of him for his girlfriend being imaginary to actually put her in the public eye. I don't want to read from here this New York Post story about it because the Post is like, you know, the Papal Whisperer publication exists just to make old people mad.

And let me read this headline here. He's no tofu Tala Rico, but he's got a tofu-loving girlfriend. Brianna Maynard 30 describes herself as, quote, a committed vegan, yoga buff, and cat mom who likes dancing the night away at local gay bar, cheer up Charlie's in Austin. according to her bio at a local food co-op where she serves on the board

how high would your grandfather's blood pressure be by the time you got to serve on the board of a local food co-op. What's great about that is the only part that pits me off. I really thought she was the coolest chick ever. I couldn't believe this was his girlfriend until you said, sir. I thought she worked at the co-op as a fucking cashier. I was like, make this man president because he knows who to fuck.

Sorry, listeners. But the first half of that bio was the best weekend of your life. And this proves that they've never fucked fun women. That is a good time. And it's so funny that they had to like call her vegan too because if their whole thing was like, he don't get no ass.

And I was like, well, actually he does. But shame on the Dems for playing that game. They should have done any of that. Well, I mean, I'm not sure it. Say, I don't fuck. I do fuck. I mean, that's what he's doing. I mean, it is a little... Tell me, I don't fuck. Look, my girlfriend,

she goes to a different co-op. She's real. I'm not sure how much this was like, happened organically or whatever, because you're not going to be able to run for Senate and be able to maintain your relationship with a secret with a woman who's going to be able to hide. This is not going to work.

They're going to be hiding your fucking direction. Also, brother, let me tell you something. If she's on the board and that's her bio, I don't care what she says. She very much wants to be in the spotlight. Yeah, she works as a lobby. So it's not like she's trying to completely not trying to be in the public. She used to, like, the real scandal.

I'd take everything I said about her being fun. So she used to work for him. she works in his office and she works in professional politics. So the other trying to make it into a scandal where he ran a sexually abusive workplace, which is like, I thought the backlash against me too was that we shouldn't be mad at all fucking office room? I don't know. It doesn't matter. But so your guy has six of these.

Right. I just don't. I mean, again, here's what it is. Some people want abortion and some people want everyone who's ever thought about. abortion to be shot. And that's how they're going to vote, dude. And I'm sorry to simplify it like that. I don't believe in a centrist voter. You have said it better than anyone. A centrist voter is not someone who's like, I don't know. Sometimes when I hear kill all the people who have had abortion, it sounds good, but sometimes I think I might want an abortion.

A centrist voter is, uh, I think weed should be legal, but I'm against abortion. Or I think gay rights are important, but I hate taxes. And I just don't, I don't know what this culture war is anymore. I don't know who it's for. I guess boomers. I guess it's for boomers. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, like, look, like, you wonder how fake it all is. Like, like, if somebody used to live in Texas, I moved there after college and was there for the first 11 years in my adult life. There's a weird thing you'll notice is, like, the most hardcore, like, people who talk about Texas, like it's an independent country or some sort of a different vibe are all transplants, right?

They literally sell prescription eye wear in the shape of Texas. You can buy that places. You will not find a native Texan wearing that. But there's a very popular bumper sticker called. Like, I'm not from Texas, but I got here as quick as I could. Right. So, Brianna Maynard, Taylorigo's girlfriend, she's descended from Michael Menard. I should say Menard, because the county's pronounced.

And the reason I'm telling you it's pronounced how the county is pronounced for a very important reason. The county's named after her fucking ancestor because he was a Canadian fur trader who founded Galveston and signed the Texas Declaration of Independence. And Menard County is named after him. said, Ken Paxton grew up in fucking California. All right? What about Tala Rico? Where's Telfrico from?

Please say, San Antonio. He's from outside of Austin, like Flugerville, I think. So, yeah. Yeah, it's just also, that's what I'm saying, man. They don't actually care about those things unless it serves them. You know, what they care about is like two issues. And then the third thing is sticking it to the libs, man. We got to stick it to them libs, and it doesn't matter how we do it.

We call them vegan. We call them gay. We call their girlfriend gay. We call their girlfriend vegan. It doesn't matter. And it's the W.W.Eification of everything, like I said. It's just like good side, bad side. It feels to me like playing that game is a loser, but what do I know?

Dude, I mean, look, far be it for me to, like, know how to talk to anybody about politics anymore in 2026. But, like, the libs have been stuck to, have had it stuck. to them for over a decade now. Republican, mega control is everything. They're even taking over fucking CBS and HBO. They got the government, Supreme Court, the banks, Silicon Valley, social media. If you don't feel like you want at this point

or like things are going great, I think it's time to look around and figure out what you might want to change and who's been doing the fucking up for the past decade because it's the same people have been sticking to the lips. Yeah. Well, two things. a lot of these people are losers.

So they can't. Like, they are losers in their soul. And then, too, yeah, they can't face what you just pointed out. You know, it's like, hey, everything sucks. We know whose fault it is. The trans people. Exactly. I've been saying it.

And Tala Rico is clearly trans because he, what, like, doesn't, hasn't gone bald and doesn't have a receding hairline? Like, I don't know. He does look like he doesn't need to show. shave, but that's like, I'm jealous of him, honestly. It saves, like, probably saves a lot of times right there. Little boys are girls now. Oh, this is so Trump's not gay when it comes out that he fucks little boys. Got it.

Mm, okay. So, so, so, so, but two weeks ago, Trace in a random text or thread, like, it was like, wait, he asked me, he's like, I think you addressed it to me as a mark, is Tala Rico vegan. And this was like 40 news cycles again before this attack really launched. I was like, I just laughed.

I was like, I think it's their way of calling him gay, but they know they can't call him the F-word for gay people, right? And even in 2026. And then they just started doing it. So, like, they skip past the vegan thing so fast. But I do want to mention, like, what the vegan thing was based on. They got pushed back into the ether because, like, three weeks ago, at a campaign stop in San Antonio at a Tex-Mex place, he got breakfast tacos. There were potato egg and cheese.

That's a very popular breakfast order in Texas. I know a lot of people put potatoes on tacos, but Texans be doing that. And it's delicious. But they start to roast them for being vegan, but I want to point out that vegans, but I want to point out that vegans, don't eat eggs or cheese? You mean the people on Fox don't know or care what the definition of a word is? That's what I'm saying. There's something about this that feels like this is what the design is.

It's like designed to be exhausting and infuriating because like, again, I don't think my father-in-law cares if his breakfast order was vegan or not. He cares that he thinks it's funny to join in with the group laughing about it because this guy's a communist. which by his definition is just anything left of Ronald Reagan. Yeah. Or just like, like, so now, Tyler Rico is doing photo ops where he eats like big old barbecue turkey legs and shit.

And I want to say here, like you brought it up earlier, I hate fact-checking jokes. Like, like, I think Elizabeth Ward took the DNA test to prove she was part Native American, that was one of the biggest,

stupidest self-owned American politics. Do a different joke back or ignore it. But don't fact-check a joke. It seems really weird in week. Anyway, he's not vegan. But the vegan thing, is based on something that actually is real.

Back in 2022, when he was running for re-election in the Texas House, at a fundraiser, he told a group called the Texas Humane Legislation Network that he talked about the need to reduce meat consumption to combat climate change partially and announced his campaign was only buying vegan food products for its events.

So four years ago, his campaign had a lentil food truck at a small rally in Flugerville while he was running for the state house and somehow this is a scandal you're supposed to be upset by I don't understand why anyone would care if he were vegan and they're annoying I guess but like I just

these people aren't serious except that again I go back to I don't think they care if it came out that Ken Paxton or whatever the fuck his name is was vegan they'd be like yeah he's probably been eating Tala Rico's girlfriend out I know what I'm saying up top bro like it's just anything to throw the other way And I feel like playing in it, if you're going to play in it, you have to play by the rules. He should have just called him a fat pussy.

He just should have called him a fat pussy. He should have just been like, what that fat pussy say about me? I don't care. I don't think Telarigo could his mouth would literally form those words, but I think it would seem even less authentic than, you know. If the man said us where, I feel like he says stuff like bejesus and like, you know, what do you think? Instead of saying, like my mother-law is very Catholic, instead of saying shit, she goes, sugar.

I feel like James Taylor Rico says sugar. Do you remember that scene in, I'm sure you do, because it's great writing, in Jerry McGuire, where she takes down Cuba Gooden Jr.'s character and his wife, we're talking about Zellweger, and she's like, at the end, she's like, sorry, I'm not good with the insults.

She's like, the world's so fake, I don't know what to say to my son, except here's a man who is it, and show me the money all the time. My point is, it could be like that. I hear what you're saying. Talafrico doesn't have a you fat fucking pussy in him,

but I do think he has something like, brother, get heated. Say bejeezes. Say, I swear to goodness, if you don't stop doing this, I'll beat the bejesus out of you. Sorry, I'm not good with cuss words, but I'm just not going to sit here

and take this from a fat man with a hairline receding quickly, you know what I'm saying? I think he could get there, Mark. He has anger, is what I'm saying. I think those sort of authentic, unscripted moments, like, there's the, you know, honestly, like, Ted Cruz doesn't have enough backbone of this, but I think if he actually challenged Donald Trump to a fight for calling his wife ugly, which would have been the natural human male response to do, it might have fucking ended all this.

Or, like, I'm thinking like, the, you know, the McCarthyism hearings when the guy was like, have you no decency, sir. Like, that's finally what broke the fever is somebody saying, being honest about these, my God, you're a fucking. monstrous dickhead who's lying, everybody knows here is lying as part of it. I think that the reason indirectly we are sitting here talking right now on this show that it was founded by Trey Browder is that in his first video that ever sent him viral, while the jokes were great and the points were pressing it, the line that sent him to the moon viral wise was quit being a pussy and say what you mean.

It's an untenable position to pretend that that wasn't what was going on. Now, to be fair to the right, they finally started saying what they mean, and now they're like, we hate trans people and we want to murder them, but still. Right. Which brings us to the woke. I always think it's like the French word for wokeism, which is La Woke-Iismay, always makes me laugh, but the L'Wolkismay part of this. So 10 years ago, when everyone was woke, and I mean everyone, or we're starting to be, to my 2016, Donald Trump waived a, I'm going to read a few stories here. before we all agreed that woke was bad, when we all agreed it was good, okay?

In 2016, Donald Trump waved an LGBT rainbow flag at a rally in Colorado of all places. There's a picture of him doing so, if you don't believe me. In 2019, the first Trump administration recognized Pride Month for the first time. He also celebrated his own administration's efforts to decriminalize homosexuality worldwide. They were led by the U.S. ambassador to Germany at the time with Richard Grinnell, who was a psycho,

but also happens to be gay. Then in 2015, do you remember Rick Santorum? Oh, yeah. Rick Santorum was such an anti-gay senator. He was Republican senator from Pennsylvania that gay people Google bombed his name. They invented a gross name for a byproduct of gay sex, a fluid byproduct.

Yeah, they called it Santorum. And pushed it to the top of the same. his Google results, the point where he's dropped out for running for president, because if you Googled Santorum, you got a bunch of pictures of men having sex with each other. There's the gay influencer who's response for that, and I'm blinking on his fucking name.

Dan Savage? It was Dan Savage, right? Savage did that. Yeah, Dan Savage did that. And they quote here from Rick Santorum in 2015 on Bruce Jenner. Then Bruce Jenner transitioning, quote, if he says he's a woman, then he's a woman. That was Rick Santorum in 2015.

at a Republican convention in South Carolina. It's like they don't mean it. I don't care if they didn't mean it. The point is like everyone should be nice. They were saying the right thing for the wrong reason. They're saying the wrong thing for the wrong reasons. They don't fucking believe in anything. No, they don't.

They never have. And I think that most Americans do know that on some level, that most of these people, there are some counter examples. I think Talafrico might be a little bit of a counter example. I think that we all. I mean, even Rogan is sort of like almost like taken aback by the guy because it's like, damn, I looked into you and you've always been this way. I think, though, most Americans kind of feel that regardless of what a politician's saying, which is why I go back to.

So they're kind of just voting for their team at this point. But I want to ask like what is, I guess I don't understand what the team is if there's no like, the more than it has a political principle or ideology behind it, you know. But I guess, I mean, I guess the nativism is the one. one thing they have left. I was going to say MAGAS unfortunately seems to be nativism, xenophobia, and fuck you, I rule. I got mine. Fuck you.

Yeah. Don't make you think about it. But also just I rule. I mean, I genuinely believe a lot of what people like about Trump is that he celebrates himself because they're fucking losers. And it's the thing like, well, you can't tax billionaires. I might be rich one day. Well, we can't be mad at a guy for being awesome because one day I'll be awesome. you will be neither of those things.

You will go into debt buying a truck. You will put a squat thing on the back of it. You will get your heartbroken by a fat girl in Panama City Beach, Florida, and you will die a fucking loser. And you know that, and you hate me for saying it and liking your gay cousin. So you vote fuck the lips. It is what it is, man. So, Tala Rico, his honest self is, for lack of a better term,

He's accepting of others, right? Which doesn't hit for a lot of people anymore in 2026, as we've done, since we've all, collectively we've all decided that being woke was a national mistake in some way shape or form. And so, let me quote here, Teller Rico, as he tries to pivot to the center, because every Washington consultant is telling him that

even though he doesn't disagree with anything he said in the past, he needs to lie about it now in order to, which I think is a mistake, because it just comes, when you, inauthenticity, I think people would prefer you to be authentically yourself even if they disagree with one or two things you believe in, then try to walk back things you've said in the past and you're clearly lying now.

100%. I agree with you. I would rather vote for somebody who has convictions, even if I don't agree with all of them. But anyway, so let me quote here. James Teller Rico says he, quote, missed the mark on cringy comments as Texas general election starts. So I do think he's correct that it was cringy,

but for enough of the reasons that the consultants are telling him, let me quote here, back in 2021, during a debate in the Texas legislature on a bill targeting transgender athletes, Tala Rico said, quote, modern science recognizes there are many more than two biological sexes. In fact, there are six.

I don't know where he's getting that from. It's beside the point from the political argument. But the problem is here isn't wholeness. It's pandering. Yes. This is what I was going to say. I don't think we collectively decided woke is bad. I think we collectively realized

centering that as your political identity is foolish. Not because the woke is wrong, but because it's not a policy. It's a way to exist in the world. If you're performing... If he got that from somewhere like scientific, you just look down the barrel of the fucking camera and you'd be like,

yeah, that's science. Sorry you guys hate it. Just to expand on what you're saying, like, it's not that like be intolerance bad or be able to performing civility or performing me wokeness or whatever is bad. It's doing it in lieu of doing anything of substance, which people were doing for a while.

That was the mistake. It's thinking that, he's a classic example, but posting Happy Pride Month is all you needed to do. I'll go one further than that for you, brother. If I post Happy Pride Month, I should do that. That is virtue signaling.

A critic would be like, your virtue signaling, Drew, and I would be like, correct. I think it is important that we signal our virtues so other people, know where we stand and feel welcome, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? But I'm a comedian. You shouldn't virtue signal if you have your hand on the levers of power. You should then not signal your virtues.

You should solidify them via policy. And a refusal to do that does make you seem wishy-washy. It makes you seem like a little bitch. And look, I'm not that familiar with Talafriko. I just know that he has this sort of unassailable, I guess testimony for lack of a better word. If he is wishy-washy, then fuck him. I'll be done with him too.

I mean, it feels like that's what you're telling me now. No, no. He's trying to figure a way to talk about it. But I do think with the six-sexes thing is like interesting because I would like to hear a trans person ask him to name them. What are the six sexes, James? Because he's like a man, woman, sea horses, because the men have the babies.

Big word because he doesn't have a dick. Right. But I assume, I could be wrong, I assume he's getting into, it's X, Y, and X, X, X, X, X, Y, and X, right? Yeah, and intersects. Like, yeah. X, Y, Y, Y, X, Y, X, Y, like, I assume that he's talking about that. Right. I mean, I don't know.

But, but I think you meant to say gender, which would, but it's like, I don't understand why people have a problem, like, like, I can understand why they try to answer these questions literally, because I don't think they understand that they're not being asked the question they're being asked. when someone like the Democratic politicians get this all the time from like they could be like a trolley Fox News corresponding like can you define what a woman is right? Yeah sure it's anyone that the person asking the question hates. That's a better answer than what they do which is usually run away or try to like give some non-answer to it. But like the real question they're asking is will you use the power of the state to punish people who live their lives in the way that I don't that I find weird? right the answer the question is well I'm not going to punish people who don't who live the way I am might be vaguely uncomfortable with even whether I do or don't feel that way or whatever because it's not my role as a government official in a free country that is the answer to the question but they feel they seem like they need a concrete answer to how many genders there are or whatever it's like I don't know that's why like the old the old guys Joe Biden honestly the best question of this is like how many

how many genders already goes like I don't know four just walked off exactly yeah yeah let the papalicism flow through you so so i'd be fun well i lost had too much fun i lost where i'm at my ally so me so he also said the thing that's being floated around where he said god's not by god's not binary which is just literally true but i guess i'll out to a funny annoying thing to say out now because even when i was like i was like a sixth grader in bible school who knew that I didn't quite buy all of it and asked like annoying questions. Like, I mean, wait, are you telling me God's a man?

And you get the answer to it. I was like, well, that's what we interpret him as a powerful figure. So we use the word father. But God doesn't, he doesn't imbibeb a human. Like, that was, that was me at Southern, that was what the explanation was to me at Southern Baptist school, like, like Sunday school

in the 80s, in a town of 100 people. It's like the father, the son, the Holy Spirit. Like, they're non-binary and they're they, them. it's all bullshit. You know what I mean? Which is weird because sometimes that is the non-binary person's point. That the idea of gender expression that men do this and women do this is not something that I buy into. But then of course, their critics will be like, well, then why are you wearing a dress?

Like you are trying to express something. To your point, that's why the answer is a trap or the question's a trap. I think you should slap anyone. Again, I really think, genuinely, if a reporter asked a politician that and he slapped him, I know he won't. That guy from Maine will. Let's that guy from Maine that's caught up in a sex scandal right now.

Graham? Platter, yeah. Dude, if he just started slapping anyone who asked him a gender question, brother, he'd be president of Maine. They'd make up a new role and he'd be president of Maine. I've been trying to, look, like, we don't have time. We've got to wrap over the second. We've got time to get all the platinum stuff.

But I do find, like, like, I've been trying to get to the bottom. I'm like, and the reporter's always no more than they can't have the sourcing to print it. So I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. But like the sex scandal that Platter's a, like, he sexted, sexed even a strong word for it. Zumers would not call it sexting. This is not even a first base of sexting. There are no holes shown. He just has his shirt off in front of a mirror.

The pictures of that so anyway. James Tala Rico would kill for this sex scandal. So anyway, we got to get out of here. But the whole thing is they're just trying to say you don't stand for what you really stand for. And look, I'll be honest, I think this grand planter guy might be a little bit of a bad guy. I think that he says so many things I agree with. But he clearly loves the spotlight and the attention and all that. And I'm like, I don't care.

I do not care. Why would I care if this guy cheats on his wife? Their side wants to murder my nephew. I would vote for the guy who cheats on his wife. Well, even then, like, he didn't cheat. He said, like, he did the, I mean, he was obviously cheating curious. Ask Aaron. As far as we know.

Ask Aaron, brother. As your attorney, I highly recommend you ask Aaron before you finish that sentence. Anyway, we're over time, so this is getting edited out anyway. But thank you for coming on, Drew. I appreciate you. You got anything you want to plug? Sure. I will be hosting at the CMA Fest in Nashville this weekend.

If you're around, look on my Instagram or whatever, and you'll see it. Follow me at Drew Borg Comedy. I'm hosting Wook Court at Bonaroo. I'm very pumped. If you're going to be at Bonaroo, it's wild to me if any of your listeners are going to be at Bonarue. But I really hope they are. Come to Wook Court Saturday at 11 a.m. at Plaza 5 and we're going to have a great time. I'm going to be the jester.

Awesome. Well, thanks so much for coming on, Drew. I really appreciate you. It was a good time. Check out Trays Dewart Tour dates at tradecrouter.com or whatever it is. Listen to Matt's GoodSkews, audio only show on this feed. Listen to Gravy Baby. Listen to Gravy Baby Drew's Pod. And if you want more skews in your life, just sign up for a Patreon. It's only $5 a month. Thank you guys for tuning in and we'll see you next week. Scoo. Phew.