Weekly Skews - S6 Ep31: Weekly Skews – America Has Worms

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

We recap a fun sports weekend in America, which included brawls on the White House lawn and beautiful game shenanigans. Then, we break down all the angles to the screwworm outbreak that will decimate ranchers and turn hamburger into a collectible item. Some greatest generation patriots had originally fixed this in the 60’s by being big fans of watching flies bone. Just another thing we have to get used to: Re-learning how to solve problems we already solved half a century ago.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% at  https://www.betterhelp.com/skewsWeekly Skews is brought to you by Americans United for Separation of Church and State. If you believe religious freedom is supposed to protect everybody, not be weaponized to turn away good families, visit https://www.au.org/crooked to learn more and become a member today.This episode of weekly skews is brought to you by Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to https://www.quince.com/skew  for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. 

What's up everybody? Welcome back. Happy Shue's Day to you. It's June 16th, 2026. We're recording this on Monday, June 15th. It's 3 p.m. on the West Coast. I'm trying it. That's Mark.

Mark, did you enjoy the White House UFC event last night? I did. I was going to ask you, it was a pretty big sporting weekend. I was going to ask you which one you watched was the NBA finals, the kickoff of the World Cup, or the pedopholes, Bar-Nocle Brawl birthday party streaming live on Paramount. Mo Plus.

The only one I didn't watch was the last one. I mean, you know, I had shows all weekend in Florida, so a lot of times I was on stage when shit was happening, but it was always on in the green room or afterwards. Donnie Singh's tack was with me on the road. I saw the Knicks when our shows were over by the time that happened. They won the championship. We watched Team USA beat the shit out of Paraguay and some other soccer games. So I've been watching a lot of soccer. I watch soccer on the way out here.

Normally with the World Cup, I only really watch the U.S. games, but I've been watching whole other countries this time, Mark. It's been truly been something. Cape Verde tied Spain at zero earlier. You're like a zero-zero tie. Ooh, but it really was fucking sweet.

Dude, that's the, that's the biggest, like, I was read, like, so Cape Verde, them tying Spain is something, like me dunking on Shaquille O'Neal. Right. It is the biggest thing, it is the biggest soccer college where most of those players

will ever have in their life. I was reading an interview with them after a couple of the guys were crying because they wished their families were there, but they couldn't afford to be there because the Trump administration made people from Cape Verde pay a $15,000 travel bond to put up before they get a visa.

Every person? That is fucking crazy. that's like different countries got different amounts depending I guess depending on like whether or not their risks for terrorism or being black so does that mean if they came out right but does that mean that they come over here and they don't steal anything then they get that money back if you leave the country if you don't if you don't like so overstay your visa then you get your 15 grand that's my understanding yeah but like like I was thinking about so the the UFC thing ostensibly like first of all you and I are a different variety

with white trash. And the white trash comes in a lot of different varieties in the United States. But like, you know, we're both southerners from small town. Like,

we love tacky ghost shit, right? Mm-hmm. I am at my limit with tacky ghost shit. Yeah. I, the fucking dirt bikes

doing stunts in front of the, not the White House. Yeah, but a facade of the White House in front of the actual White House because the actual White House is blocked with other stupid shit.

Yeah, I know. It, it's, it's isn't my jokes. I just saw a tweet that said, like, this looks like it's from like a live-action Disney movie from the 90s where a 12-year-old gets to be the president

of the United States. With all the dirt bikes flip around everywhere and everything. It's like the people that made blank check if they made a movie where a kid was president, this is what it would look like. But there's the alternate version of it. That's like the first half of the movie where the kid's fucking up before he takes the responsibility serious.

Yeah, you don't even come around in the end and actually, yeah, get it together. They're on Maldami running around New York, fixing pot holes in a fucking J. La Brunson jersey, rapping with Jose Alvarado in a Puerto Rican Pride Day parade along wrapping Jada kiss. Like, it's like the two different fucking kid politicians. It's like, it's absolutely insane. And like, when I was thinking about the Cape Verde thing, like, like, we're going to, we were going to do something to celebrate our 250th birthday.

Why wasn't the World Cup the thing? Yeah, we already had it. I know. It's crazy. Like, like, it's like 250 is a pretty young for a, country, right? It's like, you know, rest the world, the new world, you know, Hokos, doing Canada and Mexico, some peaceful

North American neighbors supposedly, right, until we invite, Trump invades them. And then like, we're like, y'all come over the new world soon, we've done with it, right? Like, I was saying, like, Cape Verde, I don't know, I didn't know much about Cape Verde, but this morning, I was reading about him, but, like, there's, like,

there used to be a Portuguese colony, right? I read this fascinating story about how, like, there was a ship from Baltimore, supposed to go to Brazil, full of musical instruments, they got blown off course, the crew abandoned the ship or whatever, it washed up in Cape Verde, and they fucking just kept the instruments and invented new kinds of music that they made a documentary about.

Did someone describe it as, like, African folk space disco, right? That sounds cool. I would like to see a concert before a thing, where we talked about all the Cape Verdean Americans who, like, came over here during the whaling train and they make up, like, two, three percent of Rhode Island to this day,

and like, 2% of Massachusetts or whatever. Like, you could have, I didn't know this, Tony Gonzalez is descended from Cape Verde, for the ends, right? So you could have had no idea. He could have hasted it. Like, Lisa left out-lopez, she's dead, but there's other musicians on the Wikipedia page for Capernet We could have done something cool with this, right?

Yeah. Instead, we've made it like, not as, so far, not as much of a nightmare as like people thought, but there's been some bullshit, I know. Like, one of the premier soccer refs in the world was not a lot into the country, because

it's Somali. And, you know, there's just been some other shitty stuff like that on the other hand i know a lot of just like regular people that are here from other countries to just to watch and shit i know a lot of them are having fun with how fat and american and everything we are and it's funny to them and it's hidden for people you know but there's also the joyful part of like like i saw like there's a guy like a guy from ireland which is like like he happened to be black it's important to the story he was record himself walking around a grocery store trying to find the best american snacks and a black lady was like i didn't know they had us in ireland

She helps him pick out fucking Twinkies and shit He was like I don't want to try it But he's like She was trying to tell him where to get a deep fried Twinkie Because they were in Texas And like they's like like The fucking the bonding between the Koreans And Mexicans has been really heartwarming to watch

They're getting drunk together in tequila And parking lots in Mexico City And like there's like there's all kinds of cool shit I saw like like the Danes Like doing a mosh pit outside of the Cowboys Stadium And in fucking Like see there was like people live tweeting like a bunch of Japanese tourists

and never had free chips and salsa at Tex-Mex restaurants before and they were like having a lot of fun with free chips and salsa. I'm like, it's really fun to see your country through the eyes of people who've never been here. Yeah, right. Some Germans had a blast.

There's a bunch of Scots went to like a Boston Red Sox game and were interviewed about it and that was funny because I had no idea what was going on. Yeah, they took over Boston. They found them. Remember the cop who slid down the slide in Boston and fucking got his shit wrecked when he fell into the grass day? Yep. So the guy played, the Scottish guy played bagpipes who went down that famous slide.

It was fucking cool. Like it's like, we could have done something really cool with the World Cup in America's birthday. Instead, we fucking got some C-list UFC fighters, one of which he said, I forget the exact quote. It's like, the only person I respect more than myself is my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and Michelle Obama as a man. Yeah, no, he was like, he goes, it was, he was like, he goes, fuck this speech. shout out Trump. He's the only one that has the balls to do fucking shit like this. And I'll tell you right now,

the only person more incredible than the incredible hoke, which is himself, is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Also, Michelle Obama is a man. Am I right, America? And even at that crowd, it didn't sound to me like, it sounded,

I think even that crowd was mostly like, fucking, whoa. Like, it's not like it got like a big uproar ovation or anything, even amongst those people. He just kind of walked off awkwardly. Not awkwardly to him. He thought he fucking crushed it.

He don't give a fuck. There were 30-year-old drunk adults there who they would have been 11 years old when Michelle Obama became first lady. Right. This is shit. I'm so fucking tired. Everyone's tired of this shit. Michelle Obama was never like this. She never bothered you.

She fucking tried to get people to eat vegetables for a little while. Everybody yelled at her for it. And she's a mother of two. It is like, it's just like, I, for the life of me, man. It's just, it's also fucking weird, but like, the, so FIFA tried to, the soccer itself exists separately from FIFA, which is a corrupt evil organization. Yeah, right. They tried, like, a bunch of, like, people tried to get FIFA to ask the American government

to basically calm down with the ice shit while the whole world's here for a month watching fucking football. Right. And they just climbed to even try, even though they have a big swinging dick, they definitely could have fucking tried. So now people are trying to pressure the sponsors to, like, put pressure on it. It's like, so Adidas, you know, the moral vanguard of Adidas, McDonald's, Unilever, Visa, and Valvaline. Please save us from ice.

The only thing, like, Salah, I enjoyed watching the Paraguay, U.S. men's national team. Can we get a bet? How come they, we don't have mascots for the national teams? We call them the U.S. men's national team, and, like, do other countries separate their men and women like that? Or, like, is it just us? I don't fucking know. I don't know. know that some of them do i mean i've wondered that before but across all of

soccer where it's like some of them have like names like mascot names or whatever and then a lot of them like just don't they just seem like generic i guess the egyptian team i guess is the pharaohs which is cool because they were saying that on the broadcast earlier which that makes sense and that's rad i thought we had a something that was sort of that but nobody ever uses it but i can't remember what it is like the yanks or something but i don't think that's it's fine We could be the Mary the bald eagles, the American flags, whatever, man. I'm going to pick something. But, like, yeah, it's like, so the U.S. men's national team is well saying instead of that.

We beat Paraguay 4 to 1, right? And, like, I always felt bad because it cuts to Paraguayan fans in the stands who were crying. Right. This is still the round robin, what do you call it? This isn't the knockout round. The group stage. The group stage, there you go. Yeah.

And I did feel bad because, like, Americans don't even really. But, like, the star of that match was Fowler and Balligan, cool-ass time. name, by the way, kind of rhymes. Had two goals. And, like, they had the, they had the camera, the ref hat camera. Yeah, he had three. One of them got called back for off sides. And then he scored, like, right after that.

Like, two minutes later, he scored anyway. It was pretty sweet. He juke's one guy out of his shoes, got around another one, and then scored on the goalie in front of 100,000 home fans in the World Cup for his second goal of a fucking, to basically put the game away. That's got to be the coolest feeling in the world, right? Yeah. How close we came to missing.

out on this. Right now the Trump administration is at the Supreme Court asking to have the citizenship of guys like Feller and Balligan negated because he's a birthright citizen. What happened was his mom was pregnant these parents were here I think for some sort of sporting event. Let me read this to you

sorry. Baligan was still in utero when his mother visited New York on vacation but the return trip never happened as the airline refused to let her board the plane due to the size of her belly and how close she was to giving birth. As it happened Balagan was born in Brooklyn and was off of London months later. We phoned low with football

and came up through the Arsenal Academy. So now he plays for us, right? Trump would just fucking deport him. Anyway, here's your walking argument for letting excellent people who want to be here come in, whether they be from Cape Verdeh,

a fucking fellow and balligan or whatever. Just like, come one, come all, be Americans, you ruled. Yep, yep. Toeigh it or not or not. Even Ronald Reagan felt that way. Yeah, that was the first multi-goal World Cup game.

by U.S. Men's National player since 1930s. That's how much all the white guys have not been able to fucking do that. Anyway. All right, well, let's go ahead and get right into it. Why not? We're just going to start. That's what we do now with the Daily Dumbass Mac. Graphic plays.

This week's DD is the hamburger for not knowing that the real money was in stealing potato chips. Well, first off, beef is still an incredible value, and I get it. We're not used to pay $8 or $9 for a pound. of ground beef, but you compare the nutrition

and a pound of beef with a $9 bag of chips. And I would tell you, a beef still packs a powerful punch. What? A $9 bag of chips. Yeah, I guess it would be three bag of chips, but calorie-wise, Crips truck crushes hamburgers.

I guess he means protein-wise. So yes, you'd probably have to eat $200 worth of potato chips to get the amount of protein that I found a hamburger. Well, he might as well compare it to like Snickers bars or something. I mean, chip, I fucking love chips. They're my biggest food vice, probably, but they're empty calories. You know, meat is fucking meat.

It's just a dumb thing to say to make the linchpin of your argument for why it's okay that meat calls. It's like, well, what? If you want nutrition and to survive, you know, you got to pay a little more for that in this country. Are you, are you in grades really going to put a price so I'm not starving to death? But you can also flip you, they're going to sort of like, well, sure, not $10 per pound a hamburger. Sounds expensive, but have you tried eating a Lamborghini? So, yeah. So one of the reasons

hamburger is so expensive right now besides the tariffs and, you know, trade policies and shit is because of screw worm and an outbreak that's currently happening. So I wanted to talk about that screw worm today.

Let's talk about start about talking about a couple of guys named Edward F. Nippling and Raymond C. Bushland. Nippling and Bushland sounds like an erotic

T&T cop show, but it's not. They were two USDA scientists who developed something called the sterile insect technique, which created the blueprint for the screwworms containment,

which the world we've been living in since the 1960s. You might not know this, but this continent used to be overrun by something called the New World Screwworm, which is awful and devastating, which we're going to spend today learning a little bit about. So their research is federally funded, which is an important part of this, and while we're talking about it.

Right. Is that the thing where it's like they somehow genetically engineered, like, sterile bugs that they drop in places to fuck the other bugs, but they don't reproduce because they're sterile. Yeah, that's such a wild-ass thing that happens. Either we do that over like the Dary and Gap or whatever, I think, like it's Central America to keep shit down there from getting up here or whatever.

We do that with bugs whose dicks we fucked with? Yeah. It's so wild, dude. Science is wild. So what Nippling did, Nippling grew up on a farm outside of Houston, and he hated schoolworms that anybody who's ever dealt with him would. And he, like, it was fascinating to try to figure out, ways to stop them.

One thing you realized early on was that female screwworms only made once in their life cycle. So if you trick them into fucking a dud that one time, there would be no larvae and no screw worm maggins. So he worked on it from the 1930s through the 1950s. He did take a break to go to World War II

to help stop the spread of typhus and malaria. But he did that by helping to invent DDT. Win some, you lose some, you know. Yeah, yeah. So here's a little. Here's the hero turn there. He hated the environmental destruction of DDT.

He felt bad about it, which is when he redoubled his efforts to work on sterile insect theory. Because it's a much better way to do it, right? It doesn't give anyone cancer to make bugs, dicks not work. So after he finished doing all that stuff to help, doing all the bug stuff to help kill Hitler, he went back to the screwworms things. And if you had a picture back up, Matt, here's nippling and Bushland working together. They became friends while watching screwworms fuck in a laboratory at the breeding cages. So just like two all-American heroes right there.

Do not ask the book about what's all about. So you got to find your people, you know. So the main thing they know about their efforts is like once they were successful and it took a lot of work over years and years and a lot of research funding. But they save the U.S. about $1.8 billion each year, plus a lot of the misery and grossness of dealing with screw word maggots, which are awful. We're going to talk about them.

This whole situation, yeah, reminds me of this famous cartoon. you might have seen it on the floating around the internet but it's a picture of like this weird contraption that's about to fall over cheating on this little toothpick leg and it says and the whole thing holding it up is a project some random person in Nebraska has been thanklessly maintaining since 2003 right right except here it's since the 1960s so if you're wondering what happened that little thing and why it's not holding stuff up anymore we're going to talk about doge in a minute um so what's the current plan to do with the screw room out break was now up to, I think, 12 cases in Texas, mostly around San Antonio, 10 cattle, I think,

and one goat and one dog. But the thing about that is, for the 12, you can count. There's probably 100 times more of that. You're not counting in undetected livestock infections, but also nobody counts wildlife, which is an important part here. You can't fucking stop unless you stop on wildlife. You can't do it just by veterinarians going around. It's like going to work.

So here's Brooke Rollins, Secretary of Agriculture, trying to, try to, Describe to us on the ground in Texas what the current plan is. And in fact, I have Dr. Sean Connolly here right there. Come over here, Sean. From the Department of Homeland Security, he was from a President Trump's personal doctor in the first term, but now there's a policy role on this. I'll let you say, get to things too, Dr. Connolly. But the importance of, again, across the federal agency,

Department of Homeland Security, we talked yesterday about using their drones and perhaps it threw very innovation, having an artificial intelligence piece of this. Oh, no. Okay. So, we got a three-pronged part of this. We're going to have the president's personal doctor on it. Yeah.

We got some drones. We're going to do drone stuff with. And then we're in the process of innovating some AI to put on the drones. Right. To do something to screw words. Right. It's just like modern day, you know, gobbledygook buzzword shit that makes some people think that, oh, there's a plan.

But it's like, what the fuck? What are you going to use AI and AI powered drones for in fighting? Can you like identify screwing worm cases with some kind of predator vision on a drone in the air or some shit? Well, that's what they're going to invent. We've got to ask Chad GP to invent that. Right. Yeah, sure.

Again, I just want to reiterate, we already fucking solved this problem. Right. They unsolved and the solved problem. Okay. So can we, and I assume you're getting to this maybe, but can't can we just do that again? Yes, and it'll just take a lot more work,

but they so, like, so yeah, but since 2020, the cost of beef is nearly doubled, all right? And so, again,

I just want to put, like, people, with any other stuff, I'm not trying to be fucking, nobody's going to starve to death over this shit, the people that are really going to,

like, suffer directly and immediate or, like, ranchers and stuff and insurance companies, I imagine. But so, but I want to,

before we get into, like, this specifically, I want to talk about the state of the federal regulatory apparatus under the trial administration, for a second. There's an agency

called the Animal and Plant Inspection Service, which is called Aphus for some reason. I'm not sure where the age comes from. Probably my stupidity, but it's the agency responsible for containing and mitigating the spread of invasive pests in the United States. And they've all been working from home because their office has bedbugs.

Right. The Alabama. Does not instill a lot of confidence in the anti-infestation people. They can't go in the office because it's so infested. Yes. So all this

is so stupid. They first told employees of the situation in mid-May in turn to five employees who leaked the transcript of a town hall meeting they had with their bosses. The department sent them home, allowed to do telework for a few days to fume to get the building. But when they came back,

they complained about the fumes. They got sick because they were getting sick from the fucking fumes. And the U.S. days like, okay, you fucking wighty bitches, you can work from home again for a little while. They're the only people currently allowed to work from home, but the Trump administration is the people they're poisoning with gas and bedbugs. They didn't just

give them bedbugs. They gassed them with cancer. Cancer poisoned. So then, Friday, two weeks ago, they told them, okay, the bedbugs are back even after we fumigated. So, but this time, even though they announced that bedbugs are back, they're not letting them work from home anymore.

They're mandating they come to work and get bedbugs. And he emailed a staff last Friday, Holly, this person named Holly suggested the employees were responsible for the return to the bedbugs as they engaged in, quote, insufficient compliance regarding personal items, end quote.

It's your guy's fault for you came to work and you got bedbugs, but then you came back to work wearing clothes. So it's your fucking fault. Yeah, you got the bedbugs here and then you left and then brought the bedbugs back. Yeah. I mean, they fucking knock on wood. I've never fucked with bedbugs. I don't know if you have, but I understand.

It's like you've got to fucking set everything on fire pretty much to fully stamp them out. It's a real pain in the ass, apparently. Obviously, the fucking people in charge of not having bugs can't get rid of them. So obviously, they're pretty persistent. They have the entirety of the federal government's resources to fight bugs available and to fight bugs, they can't beat the bugs. They just probably surrendered.

Howling instructed employees to place all those belongings, I guess their clothes into garbage bags are removed. move them from the building. So get naked. Put your shit in the bag so we can burn it and go back to work in your draws or get it's book ass naked. So they're probably, they're obviously not working naked. So I guess they're bringing the bedbugs back every fucking day. And kids obviously probably took them to school because they're not

like, you made your employees get bedbugs. They, do these people, are they not aware of how spreading shit works? You know what I'm saying? Like every employee there basically basically do volunteer work at every rich school, like private school in the D.C. area to make sure all the fucking people they work for get bedbugs as well. It's my only solution

to this. McQuire, many employees were on public transportation and had not received instruction on preventing the spread of insects in that setting. So they're giving everyone in the greater DC in Maryland area bedbugs. Yeah, not only they're not containing the bed bug infestation in their office,

they're actively spreading bedbugs. Yes. The agency in charge of not letting infestations happen. Trump's America, baby. If they weren't otherwise occupied, being the Lucy of the Chocolate Factory of fighting bug infestations,

you're by wondering, yes, Aphus is one of the agencies that would be fighting the schoolroom outbreak, but of course, Doge cut them, their head count by 25%. I guess let's hope

those were just the bed bug police and not the schoolroom police they fucking defunded. So it's really hard in general to see the absence of something. Right. But the absence of state capacity, which is becoming so evident that you can fucking see it from space. So I want to talk about state capacity for a second.

So like I said, this spring in the United States, we're seeing our first domestic schoolroom cases in cattle since the 1960s. This year, we've also had 2,300 cases of measles. Last year, sorry, was 2,300, which was the most since 1991. And there have already been 2,000 cases so far in 2026 and 16. only June, so wrong pace to double that, right? We're currently our status as a country eliminating measles is under review. It's so weird how Trump has the best luck

in world history when it comes to himself. Right. And the worst luck in world history when it comes to stuff like managing disease outbreaks and bug outbreaks through. It's almost like he's doing something. Yeah, I was about to say that. Yeah, right. It's not, I don't know if that second part's luck. You know, yeah, he just,

he manages to fuck everything up. Like the reflecting pool or whatever? Yeah. That whole thing. Like he spent $14 million or whatever painting it blue because it's more American or something. But now it's overrun with algae and looks like a swamp. And that's whatever. But the MAGA influencers were going down there and making videos and stuff talking about how the left like contaminated it with algae because they hate Trump so much and can't stand to see him do anything.

and the left had sabotaged it instead of just him fucking it up and it's like you just you know. I think they look that the mega industrial complex is its own little world here but I think most people in the real world

understand that the people who are annoyed by the reflecting pool stuff understand as a small scale of the large scale corruption they're doing given a no big contract to a company doesn't even do pool shit to do the pool shit right? Right. But it's also just like the people

we in general, if you send me that video like I was a Grant Stinchfield or something is his name. He's a radio host or something. Yeah. Grant, if you're watching, the reason we I roll out it is because you care so much about it.

The rest of us never cared if the bottom of the reflecting pool was covered in fake blue lining. Would you not care enough to fucking sabotage it either? Right. It's the same not caring. Or you were doing the same caring.

Right. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so we're about to get into school rooms. We'll probably take a quick break before we get into that bit. Then we can talk about maggots right after this. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Summer's funny, you know. Everybody acts like it's time for R&R, but not really, you know. For some people, Summer's the dream. Kids are out at school, coolers full. Every weekend's its own little adventure. But for other people, summer is a whole new part-time job on top of the actual full-time job they totally still have. You've got to juggle child care because they're not in school anymore.

Travel because everybody's wanting to take a trip and everybody's disparate schedules. You're hot, you're tired somewhere in the back of your mind. The little voice is going. You're wasting it. The good weather's slipping by and you're in here losing your mind. Both of those summer experiences are real and sometimes they can happen on the same day, right? But here's what I've learned the hard way. You can't pour out of an empty cup.

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Help yourself. Weekly skews is brought. brought to you by the Americans United for Separation of Church and State. In recent months, President Trump's Religious Liberty Commission has been meeting regularly and not, as their name, might have you believe. To protect religious liberty for everybody. No, no, no, no, it's been meeting instead to figure out how to push a, you guessed it, Christian nationalist agenda in this country.

Religious liberty, right there on the letterhead, while they do, the exact opposite. That don't sound like them, does it? I know. Here's what religious freedom is actually supposed to be, that's your right to hold whatever your beliefs are, them out as long as you're not harming anybody else, right? And this includes kids, obviously. I'd reckon every single one of us can agree on that much you'd think, but that's not how it's actually playing out. Taxpayer funded adoption and foster care agencies, that means operated with your money, are turning away loving homes and they're using religion as the

velvet rope. They're only letting in people that have the right type of faith. If you believe that religious freedom should protect everybody and not get weaponized to slam the door on good families trying to foster and adopt needy kids. We need you in this fight now. Visit A.U.org slash crooked to learn more and become a member today. This fight is far from over and every one of us has a part to play. That's A.U.org slash crooked. Weekly skews is brought to you by Quince.

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I'm not to be a, you know, huge pus out here or nothing but uh i don't bugs super do not have for me i don't know where you're at on bugs i wouldn't say that i've always said like i'm not i'm not like afraid of bugs like that they'll do something to me i'm just incredibly disgusted by them i don't like them like yeah that's different really that might still be like an intemophobia or something but i find them just so revolting it's you know i just don't like bugs isn't like a standard human thing to be i mean that's part of like i think it's part of like i think it's part of like our leg defense mechanism to be afraid of like little creepy crawly things.

Like I think in general people don't like snakes and bugs. I think it's just like a normal human thing. Or I'm a coward like you. I don't know. Okay. So screw worm. The Latin Greek sort of species name is Cochleomya homoenovorax, which I can't say it right. It doesn't matter.

The part I wanted to say it for is because the translation is man eater. Okay. So they've escaped containment South America. We were talking about the Daring Gapel in a second. and they made it back to Texas where like I said before they've not been seen since 1966

all the cases so far around San Antonio. So what they do is what makes these flies their maggot situation a little different is they're the only maggot city living flesh

all right the flies lay their eggs on mucous membranes your eyes open wounds but also eyes lips but hole and medically speak

in your cuder if you got one bro see I knew it'd be like this We're just getting started Oh Such a nightmare The bug world

Anyway keep going We'll get through the nightmare quick So yeah The speed running the nightmare part They can dig through skin, muscle Even a human skull I looked for a not that bad photo And I've actually found one

It's not that morning I'll tell you when to look away For half a second if you want to But it's not that bad But this is a wound from a guy Who skinned his knee in Costa Rica and got most of the They treated it in Costa Rica

And got most of them out When he got back to Canada They still were still more in there And that's the whole A few maggots made in his cat And in his shit Okay What do you mean he skinned is like

That leads to it Something like his knee was skinned And then they The flyers Yes Okay All right All right

Yeah So the good news is There is a treatment It's called abermectin And we drank it all To cure disease That doesn't work on No fucking way

no way everybody go down and go get your horse Dever because they works on this shit too they'll start taking fucking COVID vaccines for school this is how we get them to take the COVID this is how we can even take the COVID vaccine like the big

pharma is telling you to take album out of them for the scorer and what they won't tell you is this is what the COVID vaccines for all the shaking you do when you get the COVID vaccine that's to shake out the fucking maggots never do it or no so you know the past few years

they've been making the way north part of that's because of the climate change right the world's changing we've got to figure out ways to do it and you talked about the we've created this artificial boundary at Darien Gap which you know how was during gaps like 12 miles or something it's a yeah I don't know but it's the nearest part of Latin America yeah so I don't know about you

I'm sure you probably did because you're you but I didn't even know about that in place until pluribus the Vince Gilligan Apple show and I was like and I was kind of blown away by that I just sort of figured, I didn't know there was anywhere left on these continents over here that was like pretty completely impassable basically. But like you can't drive, you can't drive from North America

to South America because there's a fucking jungle that's so hospitable right there in the middle of it that we just don't even, we were like, well, that just ain't happening. But that is also where they dumped all these dickless bugs, right? Yeah. Because Panama is like, it's a bottleneck. So you like shut it down right there and it's like you know it's like a barrier. Yeah. The good Lord Jesus gave us a natural land barrier to keep out for your schoolworms and we have fucked it up. But yeah, the USDA maintains or works to maintain when not sabotized by the White House. An international schoolroom barrier along the Panama-Colombia border.

It takes constant human effort. Every week planes drop 14.7 million sterileged schoolworms over the rainforest in the Darian Gap. that artificial bear has been in place for 50 years longer than the people who work on it now obviously have been alive for the most part. Every week for 50 years, 15 million screw worms. That's fucking nuts.

What I tell you that that's cartoonish, like a person you never heard of working on a thing, like unseen, like, like soft. So to raise these maggots, they eat blood, right? They have to give them a mixture of like dried milk paste in blood. have to ship in. The facility supposedly smells terrible.

Oh, God. Yeah, the fucking Dickless Maggot Factory. That's where you know, my daddy. My daddy worked at the Dickless Maggot factory. But still, it's important.

It's very important. They do it so we don't have to. These people are fucking heroes. Man, give them a day. Give them free tickets to the World Cup without the fucking $15,000 bond to get them watch Panama, up Lake Columbia or whatever they're into.

So, yeah, this, it's a joint work commission, Panama's Agriculture Department and the USDA known as Copag, or I'm going to fuck this up, the commission Panama Estados initos par la eradication and prevention del Gusano Bernador del Gennado. A long name for the dickless maggot factory. Yeah, right.

Yeah. So, yeah, just nippling in Bushland's, you know, spiritual descendants, quiet professionals, making life better for the rest of us by watching flies fuck, and then cutting their dicks off with radiation. So as far as how do we fix this, and this is not something a practical problem, this is something that can be fixed with more investment that would have been required otherwise.

But the USAID estimates that we need to produce something like 400 million or 500 million sterile flies per week, you know, that's a lot more than the 14.7 we were dropping over Panama, which is up from the 100 million a week, we have the single factor we have producing sterile free-free flies in the United States. So basically we're just like, we're not even holding back to tie this point. or producing 20% of what we need to, like, to stop it. So we're just, we're barely slowing it down. But what, sorry if I, like, missed this part.

What changed that, I mean, is it just Doge or whatever, like, cuts is what that's how? Because if we were doing that all time and it was working, you know, we cut that program or something. Global warming, which, you know, isn't directly our government's fault. Right. Right. But, you know what I'm saying. So, and then, but yes, what Doge is. defunding. We talked about this back in October. You guys

are not having a deja vu. So we were able to predict it back in October. We talked about how this was a coming crisis they were not fucking ready for. At that point, I remember talking about it and said I couldn't find anything in Doja done to cause this. I was fucking wrong.

Because what I was doing was looking for the funding for the fly breeding efforts. Where they cut was all their surveillance efforts. So we were still making the flies. We were just completely blind with how many we need and where we need to put them. Right. So, right. If the surveillance had not been cut, then they would have known that they needed to increase output at the Dickless Magat factory, but because they weren't doing

surveillance, they didn't know that and just kept doing the same thing, but the problem was getting bigger, but not the, not the response to the problem was not. Yeah. It's almost like, like, you know, like, right now the Trump administration is pulling up ocean monitoring equipment out of the ocean that measures the temperature of the warming waters because if you don't know about it. Right. It's not a problem. Yeah, like the COVID testing and shit in Florida and stuff like that. Yeah, it's everything.

So what they did, uh, uh, immediately made a couple of these out here. So Doge Cutsonsburg in 2025 terminated USAID funding for a program that monitored and contained the screw worm in Central America. And a month later, they cut USDA funding and supported schoolroom outbreak investigations of responses in 22 countries. They terminated an in, uh, completely. determined an international schoolroom monitoring program in Central America. And then after Biden closed southern ports of entry to lot of cattle from Mexico to

box out, box out the schoolroom back in 2024, Trump reopened those ports in February of 2025, then closed them again in May after he realized they were fucking up. But they, so they opened to Mexican cattle for a couple months. I guess they get beef prices down. So with a temporary boondogled and meat processors, they ended up obliterating. I mean, not obliterating. It's too strong, but it's going to do severe damage to the meatpacking industry in large for temporary fucking band-aid that didn't even do anything.

Either way, it all worked out great. It's fixed now because we don't know how many few rooms are. Right. It's also fucking stupid. So, but state capacity, what, like, what is that?

What is state? State. A government's ability to do stuff. State capacity. Okay. The capacity of the state. Trails and master's degree. Yeah.

Yeah. I think. like this whole time was like that that headline mat put up there a minute ago it said Trump's war on state capacity or whatever I didn't yeah that makes sense yeah just like just like we like we used to like the party used to disagree about um about like how to manage our institutions but they did not but they but they agreed there needed to be institutions what's different about Trump and MAGA is they don't think there needs to be anyone

responsible overseeing anything right it just doesn't exist. We're currently governed by the most irresponsible fucking short-term thinking children on the planet. We talk about their, you know, voters left, but most voters wouldn't do. The people that voted for this don't know. They would not vote to bring back.

Someone should probably keep it on the fucking screwworms. Yeah, they don't know. That's the thing. Yeah, they just want like small government or whatever and they're wasting all this money and shit, but they don't, they have no idea that this was, I mean, dude, I didn't know this was happening until relatively recently, you know, but there's tons of shit like this that's going on that keep, you know, that keep fucking, uh, the work society from the brink in various ways that people just have no ideas even happening. And then there's shit like we talked a ton about before, about like measles and stuff like that. It's like these, these like technological advances and medical miracles and stuff made it possible that we can live life without these things. but that happened so long ago now that people don't appreciate it anymore or just they don't,

there's no like living memory of how horrific all this shit was. And so people just get like complacent and ungrateful. And they just think it's a waste of money because it's like, I don't even know anybody with polio. You know, whatever. It's like, yeah, there's a reason for that. My mom remembers her dad taking her down to the county, a firehouse. And I know, you're the little rural county where she grew up, where I grew up to.

but like to get the polio vaccine the day it came out they waited in line in their car she remembers it like because it was like he was like we're getting this fucking vaccine because he knew people with polio right but they like the thing would you read i was read articles about you know um that included quotes from farmers when the the uh sterile insect technique was devised it was the same thing they're like we gotta get we got to get we got to roll this out right fucking now this is this is great this will change our lives this will save us so much money and work and, you know, misery. But humans do get this and it sucks.

It hurts. You can treat it, but like it... So, like, this is where we get to the blame game part of this. And we're engaging in it right now, too, because this is not like a Republican versus Democrat thing. This is specifically a Donald Trump thing, right? This is Donald Trump and Brooke Rollins and fucking J.D. Vance and Stephen Miller thing. And Elon Musk thing.

But I'm usually sympathetic to blaming past administrations and circumstances because four years isn't really long enough. to make much positive change in our country. But it is, however long, however, plenty of time to kill everyone. Like I said, people saw this coming. We did an episode pretending nine months ago, and there were people, like, the Congress

people wrote letters to the administration or bipartisan, Republicans and Democrats, begging Trump to put this money back in place last year when it was cut. These are from foreign states and stuff. They knew this was going to be bad, and they ignored it. But this is like how we look at government funding and stuff. When Elon was cutting

all this shit, I think it was free handouts to science, and fucking woke gender queer grad students or whatever. The school run program was not charity. It was like a $10 million fence to get the billion dollar problem from eating your livestock alive. That's the cost benefit ratio there. And that's the thing about most stuff like USAID funding. It looks like aid, but it's really cheap self-defense. You solve a problem somewhere else so it doesn't come here.

Right. And so they used to talk about terrorism in the Middle East, except actually accurate. So I know the USA, by the way, we talked about before, I know the USA did evil CIA stuff too, but you didn't have to get rid of the agency. You could have just stopped doing the evil stuff and just done the good stuff. Yeah.

That is an option that's available to us. Sure. Yeah. That's not an option that the Trump administration's ever going to achieve. They're like, can we do the opposite? Right. Actually, can we just get rid of the good stuff? You could stay open if you only do.

the evil stuff. That would we might be amenable to that. All right. So there, Brooke Wall has been doing in all over appearances before Congress and stuff is doing the blame the Biden administration stuff.

And there, this is another form of that, but here's Senator Roger Marshall, who's coming up with a different group to blame. You'll never guess, Trey, was immigrants the whole time. Right. Yeah. We got this. We didn't do this before. the eradicated

storm in 1966 we'll talk about this but just as another thing we can think no Biden pool and when millions of people came out of Central America

they brought this through worm with them it was on their pet maybe on their flesh as well it was not on their pets on their flesh okay one

a human being would know they had a fucking screw run infestation almost immediately it would be agonizing we have opposable thumbs we can scratch at it we also have vocal cords

to tell people something's wrong. Right. Also, you would not survive the trip from the Dary and Gap to fucking the Mexico-U.S. border with screw worms. You would not be able to. You would die. It takes like it less than a week for a screwing infestation

to kill a full-grown cow. Okay. Oh, wow. Damn. Okay. I didn't know that. I mean, it sounded fucking gnarly. I didn't know it killed you that quickly.

Because that, and, like, from them, like, eating you, basically? Yeah. They eat you and breathe me inside out. Jeez, way. So, like, so flies aren't citizens and immigrants aren't maggots. I just need to say that out loud because Roger Marshall apparently doesn't know it. And they talk about, they're also talking about illegal cattle smuggling. Just to get a mental image here of what cattle smuggling looks like in the real world.

Because what they're talking about isn't false. It's just the way they describe it's misleading. The way illegal cross-inational cattle smuggling works, it's not a lone immigrant or couple rustling a couple of cattle across the border all right it's not some migrant bringing his pet cow to America is not some poor

vicaro rustling like a small herd through a jungle in the cover of the night those numbers here 800,000 cattle a year across from Guatemala and New Mexico illegally what happens is like ranchers bulk purchase black market ear tags and falsify veterinary statistics

to blend illegal livestock into legitimate food supply chain right just because it's cheaper to do that, like to whatever, not get them their shots and shit like that that you have to do. It's cheaper to do that, and so you fake it and sell them anyway. That, but it's also

in cartel money laundering. They're laundering. They, like, fake cattle appear on and off your books and you have it, and you can move it into your, you know, move it from your cartel drug business into your, like, meat processing business or whatever. You know, cartels like being cowboys, so we're cowboy, but like, like, quartel guys wear cowboy boots and cowboy hats

and they ride horses and shoot guns. You know, it's fun for them. So right now, things are pretty bleak for the $100 billion U.S. beef industry. Right now, America's cattle herds are at the smallest level since 1951. And now that Mexico can no longer send live cattle across the border, they're exporting more and more processed beef in the United States and seeing more profits. Basically, what Donald Trump has done by accident is offshore the American beef industry. to Mexico. Right?

It's kind of like he's accidentally turning America green by raising oil prices. Like people are like, yeah. Yeah. Didn't he, he, didn't he already fuck the cattle people over specifically before with an Argentinian deal or something like that? Yeah. Yeah.

There was a huge $20 billion beef out, beef bailout of Argentina where he like, because something had to do with the terrace. I forget exactly. It was the thing where it's like we couldn't let them fail. because it's like their their MAGA too, so we were bailing them out and in the process part of that

was buying all this beef or something that fucked over our beef producers who all vote for Trump naturally and that happened like a year ago or something and now now this is happening to we like it's like the same time of the trade war with China they weren't taking their beef we agreed to import

Argentinian beef to give them up their economy out or something like that anyway I don't know the specifics of it but yeah Trump was fucking over American ranchers and meat processing plants. So, but yeah, so surely this is all

what mega ranchers voted for, right? Canada just banned Texas cattle being imported because of the square room

outbreak. I mean, read here, Canada's food inspection agency has announced a temporary ban on livestock

from Texas because of fleshing screw rooms discovered in calves this week. So Texas ranchers,

it feels like it's time to pivot back to emus that 90s growth crop. Yeah. Second time's a charm,

baby. The emu thing will work out. this time around. I think I said this last time this brought up, but I watched Tremors 2 with my sons recently re-watched it.

I mean, Tremors were my all-time favorite fucking movies. I've seen it a ton. I hadn't seen Tremors 2 in a long time, though. But Earl, you know, it was Val and Earl from the first movie Earles. And he, the way

they get him roped back into the Tremors game is he blew all of his money on emu farm or whatever. That's like the setup for that movie, which I had forgotten, because that was like a thing in the 90s. I think Drew,

I think Drew had like an uncle or something who tried to make it big in emos, and you know, it didn't work out. So it was like Redneck Amway, bro. It was like everybody's get rich squeam in the 90s. There's a, I remember reading this article.

Their wives all stop piling beanie babies while they were fucking buying bird, putting birds in the backyard and shit. that worked out. I never finished it, but I was working on a script about the emu boom in Texas. And I remember reading this article. You know, I was trying to get the IP for it. I forget Texas monthly in the 90s, I think.

But the opening anecdote to it is a cop was called to a house because he heard what sounds like the neighbor's report would sound like murderous screams. And when he went to the guy's backyard, he found out a guy trying to put down his backyard flock of emos. or afford to feed. He was beating them to death with an aluminum baseball bat. Jesus Christ. In Texas? Yeah. That, he just didn't have the money for shells or whatever.

He surely had, he'd already sold all of his guns for bird food. Out there fucking old yeller in a bunch of giant birds with a fucking Louisville slugger. That's wild. Yeah. And the funny part was the guy ended up not being charged with something because they forgot to put, make a log in doing specifically that. Nobody wrote down you can't beat emmoos to death in your backyard. Nobody fucking said it. You got to tell me.

I'm sorry, was I doing something wrong, officer? Show me in the rule book where it says that I can't do this. The idea was like, emos were supposedly, it was like leaner, but it, like, it was back in the 90s was the diet fat, was all, everything was low fat, right? Yeah, the fat was demonized by a big, sugar. Yeah. So the emos were supposed to supposedly taste like steak and were leaner.

So it was going to be the hot new fad. Then no one liked it and never ate it. So everyone was just stuck with these emos. They were trying to either unload or beat to death with a bell. Yeah. I haven't had any. I've had like emu burgers and stuff. And there, I mean, it's, I mean, it ain't even close, bro.

I mean, you know, who knows how well it was prepared when I had it. But it, good old cow meat is infinitely better. I don't know what people were thinking, thinking that would take off. I just can't believe we imported a bunch of emus. Were we not familiar with how the emus, if you guys are familiar with the emu wars. Yeah, Australia, yeah.

There's something called the emu war in Australian history where they sent in a military to fight emos. And here's the thing you need to know about that. They lost. Australia lost a war against emos, yeah. Oh, God, what a species. All right, so. Back to cattle for a second while we still have them.

Greg Abbott declared a state of disaster last week in Texas over the imminent threat, the outbaked prose. He said, quote, this is likely to spread over the course of the summer, he told reporters on Friday. No fucking shit, dude, because you've got nothing to do about it. So, basically, you need a lot more sterile flies and fast. And there's a $750 million sterile fly production facility in the works in Edinburgh, Texas, but it won't open until the fall of 2027. So let's just politely ask the flies to stop fucking until next fall. So we can roll out some dickless flies.

Sorry. Yeah. I'll just see you talking about emos, I guess. Yeah, well, that's great. I'm sure things won't, you know, get worse, they're in a rapidly increasing pace right now and then or anything. The war is over now. Mark, right? So like, the oil stuff will, that'll surely just be fine tomorrow and then be fine from there on out, right? So that will be...

Well, Iran says it's still going to toll ships, I don't look at it. Right. If it's one of those things where it's like there will still be ongoing ramifications for months now because that's just how shit works, even if the thing itself stops today, even if it did, the effects of it would still continue to deteriorate or whatever. obviously I don't fucking know I'm dumb about all of it but you know I'm talking about the oil shit I'm saying because it's like if this is about to like you know sort of snowball and there's nothing they can do about until 2027 if that also worsens during the same time or whatever

it's just you know just going to be fun times in America I guess is all I'm saying Mark I'm sure they'll be massive fucking hurricanes and shit too you know the valls will suck it'll just all be bad for me well

in the 80s farm crisis red nights were able to pivot to moving cocaine right but now we're killed all the fucking drug boats so we have that to fall back so

so yeah this is like talking about nothing like the sum of all fears everything's working together to fuck us during Trump too so the way that

So the onus right here, the plan right now is to ask ranchers to do a better job of inspecting their own cattle, which I need to emphasize here. Their livelihood depends upon pretending that their lot of cattle are healthy. Right. They're trying to sell these cattle. They do not want to find screwworms on their cattle. They do want to stop spread, so maybe they'll do an honest effort. But they don't have the manpower to do this. And I need to emphasize this.

The Trump administration deported all their fucking workers. Right. Right. So yeah, I'm the quote here. The ranches are understaffed facing severe labor shortages. Amazing. So I want to finish up by talking about nippling in Bushland again, or fucking heroes who invented the sterile insect technique.

In the early days of their eradication effort, their bosses were not so certain of their success or longevity. They had to bootleg money from other programs because they didn't have enough funding. In press interviews, they worried about what laughing stocks they'd be if they're, quote, idiotic insect scheme and quote failed and God forbid became an extremely mockable symptom of government waste.

Yeah, I mean, I hear you know, I get that. I mean, that's an impressive level of self-awareness in my opinion because it's going to be like, dude, our whole thing is making bugs not fuck or whatever and it's like, if this doesn't work, people, this is not going to go over well, you know. That's a real shot, real risk takers, these guys. Like you said, real American heroes, you know,

this is the American dream right here. There is a senator named William Proxmire who gave out something called the Golden Fleece Award, which he invented to identify scientific projects he thought wasted taxpayer dollars. And he gave them a Golden Fleece Award back in the 1960s for wasting money on this. Oh, so even though it does work, that still got said about them? Just because it sounds like I get it. It's like a government-funded fly-sex research study that spent, millions of dollars and rube's hear that and they're like what are we spending money on that for but

there's an incredibly important context that just gets left out it took them like 30 years off and on to perfect this right they like they had to figure out what stage pupil stage to ready to get to fly to be most effective they had to figure out how many flies to drop there's an island in in the florida keys i think they did a bunch of drops of flies on to the the do scientific method they gradually escalated how many flies they dropped to see how many it took we took to work to eradicated flies from that island, which it was going to figure out that it actually was an effective technique at a certain scale. Right?

So there was a huge, there was a huge time span between starting the thing and it not working, not working, not working, not working, not working, not working, not working, then working. Yeah. So, anyway, nipping and bushland were posthumously awarded something called a Golden Goose Award, which scientists came up to as an inverse of the Golden Fleece Award, which honors federally funded work that might have been dismissed as silly as an, silly or name, but resulted in it significant benefits of society. Possuously, huh?

It's all, ain't that just the way? The best you can hope for in this country is you'll be proven right once you're fucking dead. It's so off. That always bothers me when I hear that. They were vindicated after dying because I don't think they're, you know, I don't think they're upstate.

I don't think they're up there going like, see, I fucking told you. I don't think that's happening. So they died not ever knowing. There, every set of, every senator who grandstands about cutting funding for, quote, scientific waste or whatever, their descendants should be able to go into the well of the Senate and kick them in the fucking dick.

That should be their reward in head. And old, good old boy, farm science heaven, wherever they are right now. I also want to note that Proxmire was the first United States Senator to get hair transplants, and he claimed the operation as a medical expense, which was apparently a better use of your fucking tax dollars than making dickless maggots.

All right. All right. Okay, fun times, as always. Thanks for watching. Come see me on the road. That's fun too. Thanks for everybody came in Florida. Go to Treycrouter.com.

I'll be in Spartanburg and Wilmington next. And then Lowell, Arkansas, and San Diego coming up in a bunch of other places. Trey Crowder. com. Also check out producer Matt's audio exclusive called Good, good skews, good people doing good things. It's a nice palate cleanser if you are so inclined. And consider supporting this show on Patreon, on weekly skews.com slash more or go on Patreon and search for my name.

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