Weekly Skews - S6 Ep37: Weekly Skews – Hot for (Robot) Teacher
Episode Date: July 29, 2026There’s been a (diaper?) rash of people peeing and pooping themselves at concerts all summer, climaxing naturally at a Morgan Wallen show. Why is this happening? We have theories. Then, a hilarious... pilot program to have sex-adjacent robots teach kids in a small district is on hold. Not for long, though, as the company and the government would very much like to take it national. There’s lots of fun perverts involved, plus a crypto scam.This episode is sponsored by ZBiotics. Go to https://www.zbiotics.com/SKEW now. You'll get 15% off your first order when you use SKEW at checkoutWeekly Skews is brought to you by Americans United for Separation of Church and State. If you believe religious freedom is supposed to protect everybody, not be weaponized to turn away good families, visit https://www.au.org/crooked to learn more and become a member today. This episode of weekly skews is brought to you by Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to https://www.quince.com/skew for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to Weekly Skews. It is the weekly skews for Tuesday, July 28th, 2026. I'm Mark A.G. We are recording this on Monday afternoon, July 27th, 2026 in case 9-11-2 happens. Don't get mad at us. I'm joined today by...
Yeah, Corey Ryan Forrester, because Trey is back home in Tennessee where high-speed it is but a myth they've heard about from their cousin who lives in the big city.
Uh, how you doing, court?
In the Tennessee that I'm next to, that I'm adjacent to, it's literally the best internet in the entire world.
So the state contains multitudes.
Uh, you're talking about Chattanooga, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's where EPB is or whatever.
EpiB?
Yeah, EPB, I think is the, is the internet.
It's something, oh, okay.
Public something.
What, all I know is it's fucking fiber.
optics and it's fast as shit.
One of those downstream
legacies of FDR socialism that we
pretend doesn't exist now? Yes.
Yes. 100%. And Georgia can't
get it because we suck.
So I'm glad I have you
on the day because before you get to the show, I want to talk
to you real quick about you are, of course,
famously known for wearing a diaper to podcast
in so you don't have to get up.
Famously, yeah, famously.
You know, Mark,
hilariously enough, I wasn't going to bring this
up, but it's coming up organically. I haven't had a drink of alcohol in eight weeks tomorrow,
so I actually don't have to wear the, now, that's not to say I'm not almost 40 and don't still need to
pee, but alcohol makes you need the diaper. You know, like, now I can just hold it.
You used to be PAPs, now it's your prostate. I like that. That's correct. So I wanted to talk you about this.
the summer of pissing and shitting yourself at concerts.
A couple of quick anecdotes to share
before we get to the main one.
Olivia Rodrigo earlier this summer talked about how she smelled her fans,
feces-filled diapers who they wear.
Like, she can smell them from the,
they're on the front road,
and she's on stage.
She can smell people shit in their pants
because they're afraid to miss a moment of the concert.
And then...
No.
And then a bunch of...
A shit had to be mopped off the floor
to five seconds of summer show.
That was one five seconds of summer show.
Another one.
someone intensely pissed themselves in general admission and sprayed perfume on themselves to cover the smell.
And this happened in Noah Kahan concert.
I think I'm saying that right.
I'm not a fan.
I don't know what super aware of his music.
But some girls started picking pieces of poop out of their butt and put it on the floor.
And they put this video on TikTok and Noah Kahan saw it later.
Well, he's sorry.
I got it.
Well, just my advice to these youngsters is quit making music that's so pants shittingly good.
you know what I mean that's clearly what's happening your music is so good that they don't want to go to
the porta potty i think that this is actually a compliment to your art most of the time when i was
going to festivals you always had that one song you picked out you're like okay when they start
playing this i'll go take a show that Olivia rodrigo clearly doesn't have that in her lineup
if she went on verses i think she would body everyone because people are fucking pissing and
shitting on themselves i mean this girl's going to the top mark right so but if you're saying is
were you when they were seeing a band that was popular
in the 90s, they'd be like, oh, here's their latest
album, I can go to the bathroom. Right.
Right. Right. So,
curse them for being young, is what we're saying.
Yes. So, on
June 27th, Kahan wrote this on social
media, I pooped my pants as much
as the next 29-year-old, but you guys got to
understand there's a venue worker out there with a hundred-yard
stare after dealing with that. So
not a fan of his music with that hit for me.
Hold on just a second. I've pooped
my pants as much as the next 29-year-old.
Let me go ahead and tell you, save
for me, that should be zero.
Just medically speaking, that should be...
And as I've stated it, it might have been on this podcast,
there is a difference between shitting yourself and keeping it between the cheeks.
If it stays between the cheeks, you didn't...
It must touch cloth for you to have shit on yourself.
If you just don't trust a fart and it just kind of paints the outside,
like the...
It just paints the end of your cheeks a little bit.
Go wiping, you're fine.
You didn't truly shit yourself unless you have to change cloth.
close. You're forgetting the part where he's a 29-year-old rock star who lives on the road
who's staying up to 4 in the morning and living on a bus. So I'm betting there's some like
truck-type food in there. Yeah. Kahaz apparently at other shows has made the fans
recite a pledge they would not shit their pants or if they do not quote take it from their
pants and put it on the floor. He's making people take an oath at his concert which is funny.
That's fair. So this leads us to his main anecdote which you'll enjoy at a Morgan Wallin's
show in Baltimore this past weekend. A drunk man allegedly pissed on directly onto a family
a four, including an eight-year-old girl.
So how you do all four people before somebody knows is what's going on?
And this is according to TMZ, all right, a guy named Troy Grevelding, his wife, brother,
and niece were watching as show at M&T's Bank Stadium, which is in Baltimore, when they felt
streams of liquid running down their legs from behind.
They turned around to see an intoxicated, beligerent man with his dick out, a brief conversation
followed, and the family alerted security.
and now I've watched the viral video is pretty funny.
It shows off-duty cops telling Troy that an arrest wouldn't be possible because they had not personally witnessed it, which is normal for, you know, a misdemeanor.
So my thing is like, why are you getting, this is not a cop-involved situation.
Sure.
Yeah, the dad beats the shit out of this guy and then they send him home.
You smack the guy or you let it go, right?
Yeah.
But Morgan-I-Ware is not real country, so we can't handle things that way.
if this was a fucking hot concert,
that's exactly how it would have went down.
Right.
Because like everyone,
if you've been,
if you've dealt with a cop at all,
you know,
if there's certain crimes
he just can't take your word for you got.
Like,
it's not worth,
it's not worth getting the criminal justice system
involved.
The cop didn't see it directly.
He's not going to court
to testify over a piss.
There's absolutely,
sometimes you should call the cops,
but then there's certain situations
where it can only make it worse.
It can only make it worse.
And we should just handle it
red dead redemption style.
And I got to like,
ask like what is the cop going to because like the only the only purpose of arresting this guy would
be to embarrass him get his picture in the newspaper right so if the guy is not embarrassable then
all you're doing is making pay a two hundred dollar fine which is nothing so you either beat him up
or the thing's over so like i don't think the hundred dollar fine is going to do much but like
so anyway my point is in a polite society your weapons are useless against this man
you've you've come up against the honest guy luthertick and you're just stuck let me
bring up a point here that maybe people don't think about i don't know
what the degrees are.
Like, you know, obviously you've got murder one, murder two, murder three, then down to
manslaughter and all that.
As far as pissing on people goes, I don't know, you know, if there's a certain degree,
but just thinking this out and just gaming it out, the fact that, because I know Morgan
Wallen, he is one of the highest selling artists of all time, unfortunately.
I know this place was packed, okay?
This place was packed.
So the fact that he peed on four people and all four of them just happened to be related, little premeditation possibly going on.
You know what I mean?
Because it doesn't seem like he was just letting it loose.
Like if he was just letting it loose, odds are he would have at least landed on a couple people who weren't related.
But the fact that all four of these people are related and those are the ones this man pissed on,
I would be interested to know if they didn't know each other prior to this concert.
interesting or the thing that might not have occurred to you is that he just happened to be standing behind a family that wanted to spend time together correct yes so so earlier this is a headline from 2023 all right taylor swift fans are wearing adult diapers to the eras tourists they don't miss any songs yeah fair and i think maybe what's happened is cost of created a once-in-a-lifetime experience you've turned what used to be like just a fun Thursday night into a once-in-a-lifetime experience you can't
is the moment of. That's a very good point because back in our day, like, I'm not saying it wasn't a big
deal to go see Pearl Jam, it was, but you kind of had it in your mind that like, if I miss them,
this go around, they'll be back, you know, and also like, yeah, don't get me wrong. Let's say tickets
were $35 in 1996 or whatever. When you adjust for inflate, that's still not pocket change or
whatever but yeah there wasn't this like even with christopher nolan in the imax now with it only
being in this many theaters you really do have this sense of urgency of like no no no i've got
you don't understand right so i i think you have a really good point there you can't like you can't
one of the reason like people talk about rodentan menado scores and stuff now is like if like if the
movie's bad you just wasted three hundred dollars yeah yes so much money yeah i'm at the
time if you went to dinner and stuff too and took a family of four and parking and a
that shit. I know, dude. So like, like I, uh, so some numbers. Because I was thinking about this too,
because like, like, like, like, I used to go with like my buddies from high school, like, or friends,
like, like, middle school and stuff to concerts, which is like, I used to be able to afford a concert ticket on a minimum wage job.
Right. Jim's hand? Yeah. Yeah. And like, like say, make a quarter of 2025 Goldman Sachs report,
the average ticket price for one of the top 100 global concert tours was $136 in 2024, which is up 50% just from 2019.
Yeah.
The report added between 2024 and 2030, ticket prices are expected to grow at a 7.2% compounded annual rate, which is like double egg inflation under Biden that people got mad about, right?
And I found this number two.
In the 60s and 70s, top acts like the Beatles or Led Zeppelin typically cost between $4 and $6.50 per ticket.
Right.
And people will hear that and then go, yeah, but when you consider inflation, it's like, okay, even when you do consider inflation, it's not even for.
fucking close.
I can do the math for you now.
$4 in the 60s would be about $30 right now.
You could not,
like talking about the Beatles for $4.
You couldn't see George Harrison for that right now
and he's just the basest and he's fucking dead.
Right.
You couldn't see a hologasm.
Yes.
Right.
Yeah.
No, dude, I mean,
dude,
I remember when I was like right out of high school
had already,
you know,
had started stand up and I was working like several jobs,
but like, you know,
all of them part-time.
because as you remember, when you first start doing stand-up, you have to quit a lot of jobs
because you'll get a gig and they won't let you off to do the gig. And you're like, well, I'm doing the
gig. So you have to just quit the job, you know. I barely had any money. And I regularly remember
going down to like Cricket Pavilion in Chattanooga. And this is like 2005 we're talking about.
So like, I know that sounds like ancient history to maybe some people listening, but like would
go down to Cricket Bavillion. I remember seeing
Altar Bridge right when
they formed too. Right when
Mark Tramani or whatever left
Creed and the Stone Tipple Pilots
broke up and like Altra Bridge was fucking
huge. It was them, future
leaders of the world.
I want to say Seven Dust
was there too. Bro, I'm pretty sure
I paid 15 bucks to
see that shit and beers
which I bought illegally but they were
like $2 or something.
And like, yeah, I went home broke
but I would have been broke regardless.
You know, it's not like that one night.
But like now, people that are in the same situation,
they literally have to save for two years
to go have the same fucking stupid experience
that I just got to fart out every weekend.
Yeah, and I don't like, like, so I agree with everything you're saying,
but also I don't want to get too far down the well.
Like, the Coke used to cost a nickel,
and it used to be all fields.
And back in my dad, they played real music on the radio.
And she's starting to make sense.
but like some things have changed for example one of the reasons ticket prices so high is because of algorithmic dynamic pricing right and high service fees which have gone way up which hard to have nothing don't have nothing to do with the band or the venue it's just the fucking website selling you the tickets and uh and then because like they create they put on fewer shows to create artificial scarcity so what happens is scalpers fucking claim all the tickets by using bots to buy the tickets up online right so there was a long run uh court case uh that did start i think it might
started under the first Trump turn and wound through the courts under Biden.
Just like just a couple months ago in 2026, a jury found Live Nation ticket master
guilty of operating an illegal monopoly, which they do, especially since they formed the same
company.
The newly combined company, which controls an astonishing 86% of the concert ticket market,
almost three cores of the overall ticket event market.
They were, Live Nation actually boasted in writing about ripping off customers.
Let me read here to you, Corey.
One employee who is now a ticketing executive, joke that any,
increase in parking fees for customers was quote robbing them blind baby that's how we do they put
that in fucking writing after becoming a car deal yeah yeah and then like so they got so the jury said
they're guilty but then trump administration said ah not so fast and they managed to call they
called the company and snatched the feet from the jaws of victory they said they after even getting a
verdict they nullified the verdict by by uh you know reaching a settlement with the company and slapped them on
the wrist and keep doing what they're doing the jury the jury
only determined the ticket master overcharged concert gores in each state in a plaintiff state by $1.72 per ticket. So they were going to be punished for overcharging by $1.72 a ticket, which I thought it would be like 15 times that much. And Trump was like, no, can't do that. Got to keep able to rip people off. So yeah, anyway, I guess. It's our economy. It's no longer, it's no longer, hey, I make the most money because I have the best goods. It's I make the most money because I'm a shrewd piece of shit. And I, I'm a shrewd piece of shit. And I, it's, it's no longer, it's no longer, it's no longer, it's no longer, it's, I make the most money because I'm a shrewd piece of shit. And I'm, and I'm, and I
I, there's a president in office who I'm buddies with who allows me and my company to skirt
monopoly laws that we put into place for specific reasons like this, to make things competitive
so that this can't happen.
That's, that's who makes it now.
And there's a large group of young people that look at this and go, that's the way you do it.
And it's like, why, but to their credit, why wouldn't they think that?
That is seemingly the way you do it.
Right.
You're a kid, you're a concert, and you're looking around.
Do I want to be the rock star on stage who's barely getting by?
Or it would be the guy who's not even here right now who's collecting a vig in the mailie's mailbox and has a boat.
For doing something, it should be illegal.
Just imagine being at a concert as a human being, seeing that beers are $5 and thinking to yourself, this is stupid, they should be charging $12.
You're such an asshole.
Like, you're such a fucking prick.
You need to die.
Publicly, like publicly die with shit written on.
Take the poop from Olivia Rodriguez fans' butt cheeks and write shame all over your chest while you were tard and feathered in the streets of Baltimore.
Yeah, you're spitting.
So, yeah, I know my old man rants.
I don't want to go off in two parts of a tangent, but I feel like people wouldn't be filming every moment of a concert.
If it wasn't like a conspicuous consumption flex to be able to show people you were doing something that none of them could afford.
Right. And it's so stupid.
And like to justify their cost because the things are so expensive, now you get these concert tours that are like major productions that people get hurt, the employees get hurt doing or whatever. And like they have like elaborate stage design, advanced lighting and power tech. And part of this is because the concert's the way the artists make their money now, because there's no money in fucking streaming. Another way in which these companies have stolen the money out of everybody's pockets. So anyway, that's your economic reasons and political reasons why kids are getting pissed on at shows is because some guy is a ticket master, live nation.
who can't rap or play guitar or dance.
You've got to do all this.
They can have helipads on their yachts.
And if you're thinking of that sucks, you're a fucking communist.
So, yeah.
Yeah, that's the thing.
It's like, there are still things on this earth that I'm like,
I don't mind that they cost.
Like, I don't give a shit that a Bugatti cost $500,000.
You know why?
Because nobody needs a Bugatti.
So if you, nobody needs a Bugatti to get from here to there.
You can get an Accura if you want to.
That's fine.
It's that they have now, so there was.
always the upper class that always got to do a lot cooler things than we used to do,
but now they are the only ones that get to do anything.
They're now getting to do the stuff that we had to settle for because we couldn't get on a yacht.
We were like, well, shit, I'll at least go sit in a field and listen to rock and roll music
and take drugs.
Now they're the only ones that can do that.
And I don't know if they're gaming this out correctly because in my fucking head, dude,
This just, and I hate to be a broken record, but like, this just ends with the French Revolution.
Like, you can't take, like, you can take away certain things.
Like, you can make it, again, you can make it to where somebody like me can never afford a Bugatti.
But you start making it to where someone can't afford a house, which was promised in the American Dream.
Now they can't go see fucking a concert.
Now they can't go see a movie.
I'm sorry, but at a certain point, there was a scene in House of the House of the United States.
Dragon this week where Ulf, my man, greatest Grand The Throne's character ever, because he's the only
real person in that fucking world, was looking at Damon and he was just like, you know, I sit up
on that fucking hill, Fortnite's, you know, every man needs this simple pleasures. Of course,
you know that. And he's right in a way where it's like, we, as human beings, we work, we work, we
need a release in order to not go insane. Whenever we, if they take away that release, how do
they not suspect that right after that will come the insanity? And you can't try.
150 people at the same
goddamn time unless you get us on some
fucking Rico charges. You know what I'm saying?
Ain't none of us testifying against each other
if we just crowd around you
and stomp you the
you dumb fuck. You know what you mean?
I didn't see shit.
Am I wrong?
No, Matt's just fucking
Matt's fucking like in the middle of your seven minute of randy.
Corey rights for you.com.
I really hope you go there. By the way, you don't
have to pay for it. You can read and listen
to everything I do for free. But if it brings
value to your life and you want to support me, you can give me $5 a month. I would appreciate it.
All right. With all that said, we will save the rest of the plugs for later and we'll start the show.
Matt, Daily Dumbass, graphic, please.
Today's Daily Dumbass is me for not knowing the John Henry versus the steam engine story of our era will be teachers versus sex robots.
New York, the Salamanca City Central School District is introducing a new AI robot, which is
cause some controversy. There's a
amount of misinformation that's
out there that we're looking to replace
teachers that there's
salacious business
relationships between the corporation
we're working with and other industries.
You'll never believe this, but the other
industries, this nice school district
superintendent here is referring to is the porn
slash sex toy industry. And if you don't believe me,
I want to check out this video of the teacher he's referring
to. I make emotional connections by
learning your preferences. Remember
bring past conversations with our custom memories.
Is that not a sex robot?
Yes.
First off, every robot is a
every robot is a sex robot.
If your wife's out of town, let me tell you that much
right now.
You're a Roomba?
Yeah.
Yeah, dude, I'm telling you, if you can,
because you can get those things to go in a certain pattern,
and I'm just saying, you know what I mean?
Back forth, back forth.
Yeah.
That guy, the T-100
that you just showed before, like,
It doesn't give me much hope that he, he, I don't know what side he's on because I was so distracted by the fact that he looks like every movie where a robot goes insane.
He's the CEO of the company that's going, no, no, no, it's fine.
Don't worry about it. It's okay.
So his name is, where it's school district superintendent, Matt Beiner, I think, is his name.
So I don't, like, the only thing I know about is from his, his story of how I describe his character is, like, stressed out education professional who's trying to make do with the,
bunch of shitty situations at the same time.
Again, empathize.
We'll make fun him a little bit in a second, but I do empathize with him.
We're talking about the cell.
He also looks like a utility player on a baseball team in the 80s.
I bet that motherfucker could play him all.
Yeah, he's got a haircut you can set your watch too.
So we're talking about the Salamanca City Central School District in western New York.
And the company they're working with apparently literally just, like you, you and
you and I are perverts.
We look at that and like that looks like a fucking sex robot.
But like it's not just looks like a sex robot.
The company apparently just literally reprograms sex robots.
And if you want to be generous to them,
maybe their current CEO, Andrew Kigel,
just became passionate about education since his last gig
running a Bitcoin mining company.
So, but basically, this company is called Rehobotics.
And while they focus on robotics for the classroom and home,
their sibling company makes AI-powered sex dolls
with names like Serenity and Harmony.
That one's name is Sally, the teacher.
So Sally's Serenian Harmony or sisters.
And it's Serenian and Harmony are horrors,
while Sally goes to work educating the young.
Their robot,
the Serbian harmony market is marketed as the world's most advanced sex robots,
which I don't think is true.
I watched the face movement,
I bet China's fucking lap them.
But I just think it's funny than just like real teachers,
these robot teachers are stripping on the weekend to pay the bills.
Is this like a cash for crankers situation?
Like you can just like, look,
we know you bought the sex robot from Japan
and you spent a lot of money and your wife got mad.
But what if we told you that you,
that you can get a tax credit if you turned it in to the Salahockey school system and we made it a regular because you're right like there's no way these even looking at it you're like that had to be a sex robot because like if you're going to make an AI teacher there's no incentive to make it hot there's no incentive to make it hot like make it look like missed outfire uh but they but they'll put a bit enough for a second there's a fun story behind why they ended up making it hot but so uh
I just want to point out what we did about pop culture connections here.
So the sister company used to be known for making,
you recognize this name, Real Dolls.
Oh, technically it's a step sister company.
They have to say that for legal reason.
She got her head stuck in the dryer.
So Real Dolls, if you haven't heard the name,
you might remember them from the 2007 Ryan Gosling movie,
Lars and the Real Girl, where Ryan Gosling pays it.
Yeah.
Ryan Gosling to me.
Yeah, me too.
He plays a really shy guy who's trying to get over some personal trauma
and what he does.
He's decided he's in love with a sex doll and is marrying her.
Yeah.
Her name is Bianca.
That's what it looks like in the movie.
If you don't think Ryan Gosling has range, by the way,
he successfully in a movie made us believe that Ryan Gosling had to fuck a robot.
Yeah.
I mean, he like, it's like, because he played a little nerd his first big role,
which is a member of the Titans, right?
Yeah, but still, but kind of a cool nerd.
Yeah, I mean, no, no.
But he was at least an athlete.
He was not, he was not racist.
Hey, in the 50s, that count.
Or the 60s, that counts.
He was fucking singing with him.
Yeah, his dad was an asshole.
He got benched because he literally couldn't run.
He volunteered to be benched as really easy.
His character's peek in the movie.
No, Mark, he did that so that Pedy could go in.
He did that for his black friend.
Well, because Pedy was fast and he wasn't.
He couldn't play, anyway, it doesn't matter.
We're not told him about fucking.
All right.
So this program is on pause, which we'll get to it a little bit.
But I want to put out the Salamaca City High School, City Central's High School District.
Sorry, Salamaca City Central School District is an hour south of Buffalo and not far from Lake Erie in the Pennsylvania border.
There's only three schools and 1,400 school students.
The next hamlet over is called Kilbuck and Salamaca Cities in a Native American reservation.
I was going to put out here.
My main thesis, where you talk about all this.
stuff and we laugh about it. If this wasn't a poor rural district, I don't think this would
have played out this way. And before we get to breaking all this down, I think we need to take
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by americans united for separation of church and state this summer marks the 250th anniversary of the
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that milestone not to bring us together but instead to try to divide us all as americans
They're pushing a lie that this country was somehow founded to be a Christian nation.
You ever heard that one?
Where one religious movement gets to decide who actually belongs here and who doesn't.
But that's not what happened.
It's not whatever happened.
America was in fact founded as a democracy committed to liberty and justice for all.
What about that?
Remember that part?
I do.
Christian nationalism is based in propaganda, not patriotism.
And it's excuse underneath censorship, discrimination, attacks on public schools,
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And we're back.
So when we're talking about this more,
I want to put up this picture of this sex robot.
Oh, the teacher robot.
This isn't the sex robot.
This is a teacher robot.
These are very different things,
which the company insists.
Right.
This is Crystal Gale, if I drew her from memory.
This is a Rehobotics M-Series humanoid robot,
which uses natural conversation,
facial expressions,
create engaging hands-on learning experiences.
Bro, you cannot put this in an American school.
The football team will fucking get it pregnant.
Absolutely.
They're going to find the mute button first day.
First day.
How many sentences you want me to write in the corner, bitch?
Just click.
Like, it's over.
Yeah.
So I think we're, like, we're relearning.
Like, one thing you're doing this modern technological era.
And, like, we didn't Terry talked about the diarrhea outbreak last week about how, like,
some way. We have to re-learn that you have to like, oh, businesses will just put diarrhea on the lettuce if you don't tell them not.
If you don't tell them not to. Yeah. Right.
We felt that this administration has really showed us how much we took for granted. Like, fuck the government and all that.
But how much these programs that we like to make fun of are necessary for us not having diarrhea.
And then for this year, I think we're going to relearn from this type of stuff is why teachers were Christmas sweaters through March.
Yeah, boy.
That's a great point.
Like my mom's a teacher, my sister's a teacher, and when she first teaches.
Yeah, she teaches first grade.
My sister teaches first grade.
And she used to wear like silly Christmas sweaters like my mom did as a joke.
And then she just kept wearing them now and still wanted to be a joke anymore.
My mom as a 65 year old is so much hotter now than she looked in 93 just because of the styles were so weird.
And they were doing crazy things.
And everybody had to stop doing Coke.
And they were coming down.
and they were just fucking doing denim,
fucking perm, whatever.
But like Amber,
but I would see our teachers,
they would wear those sweaters and stuff.
But then if I saw them out to eat,
which was always very weird,
seeing them outside of school,
they would still be wearing them.
Whereas Amber, she would wear those
specifically because she had huge honkers.
But then that stayed in the closet,
and when we went out to eat,
she was wearing regular clothes.
You know what I mean?
I, uh,
so I'm people looking like shit.
This is a random side of it.
but I was reading earlier about like Chicago in the 1920s
Al Capone had some musician kidnapped at Gunpoint to play at his birthday party
Yeah
And at a picture of Al Capone there was like this seems like a pretty immature thing for an adult to be doing
And Al Capone was 27 at the time and I was confused with the picture because he looked 56
Yeah yeah yeah it's odd yeah so anyway I think so I told us I think putting a fucking
Whatever that shit we put in our water I think it's good because if you look at
when we started doing that versus before when we started doing that, the 20-year-olds look
like old men.
I fucking, what is it?
What's the shit?
iodine, not iodine, but fluoride, fluoride.
Fluoride has made us.
Our generation is the ones that got that.
And like, I look like shit compared to a lot of people, but I'm almost 40.
If you put me next to a 40-year-old from even 1981, I look like an Adonis.
an adonis.
I don't think it's fluoride,
but I do think
it's something about
the,
that's not to get all
Alex Jones,
but whatever,
the chemicals in the water
that are turning
the frogs gay
are worth it
because they make
all of her skin
look way better.
That's right.
So I've told this,
like,
so getting back,
going about the sex robots,
I went like,
so my mom,
like I said,
she was a teacher
for a long time.
She taught special needs preschool.
And I told this story
on this show before,
but it's been a while.
How you even know
in preschool?
You know what I mean?
Oh,
they were in wheelchairs,
Ben. Oh, okay, right on.
That's different. That's a very special need.
So they, uh, so, some of the kids have like, like, tactical, what do you call it?
Sensory problems, right? So to my mom, so me and my sister in a classroom one day and my sister
picks up a toy and flips a switch and it starts like vibrating, right? It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, like a felt puppet with Googly eyes.
And my sister goes, holy shit, is this a dildo? And my mom, like, snatches out of her
I'm like, I'm old enough, I'm like 14.
I'm like, that's a vibrant.
Now, Virginia at that time,
you could, the sex toys are illegal, but you could get like, you go to
Cain never could, you know what I mean?
Right. Right.
You go to Spencer's gift and get a muscle massager.
Yes.
Yes.
Which, my innocent mom, it probably was like,
she called it a tickle puppet.
It was a felt puppet with gouglios and a fucking vibrator inside that the kids
to play with.
And it's not like Natty's ass.
No about that.
So anyway, but we're telling the story laughing about it.
And we're like, mom, you cannot touch.
a stranger's kids with a firebreaker with googly ass.
And can't do it.
But anyways, this kid made, this school district just made an official policy to let kids talk to sex toys.
Yeah.
And like, in interview with this year's robot report, which is apparently a real publication, the CEO of Robotics said that the robots quote, the teacher robots were quote, not capable of physical intimacy, which it has a mouth.
Yeah.
Yeah, and if you got a hole, you're capable.
I promise you.
You not have anything to say about it, but you're capable.
This is like, so I want to play this video real quick.
This is a rope.
This is from like some sort of expo where they're showing off their teacher and customer
service robots.
And this is the robots they say are not for sex if you got this video about.
I'm David.
Robotics is modular robot companion.
TES to demonstrate my witty charm, customizable features,
and how robots like me can make human robots.
interaction.
I can swap faces,
change outfits,
and keep expressions
faster than you can say,
makeover.
This one is called
the Andrew Yang
median voter.
Nobody wants to
fuck it.
It's very harmless.
Did you hear
what the human said?
No.
She said,
I can swap his face out.
Now, I want you to
propose a non-sexual,
like,
non-evil reason
that you would need to
switch the faces out
on a robot
if it's supposed to just
talk to people.
Well,
that one kind of looked a little Asian.
It might have been a racism thing, you know.
Well, that's it.
It's like maybe we can put an Asian face on if you wanted to like to take orders at your Chinese restaurant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
So in a statement on Friday, real, because this like got to be a fever pitch in the same Western New York, the statement of Friday, robotics said no adult, no adult products business is any involvement in the Salamanca project.
But it's the same guy is running both fucking companies.
It's like if McDonald's like the Big Mac business has nothing to do with the McChicken.
Like what the fuck are you talking about?
Right.
They put out a press release about this, trying to say the companies are separate.
But I want to ask you, what are the addresses?
Do you have separate refrigerators in the break room?
Right.
How many office Christmas parties are you springing for?
Right.
Also, like, we need to vet your warehouse workers.
We don't know which ones they're shipping to who.
If they're all, you know.
Bro, I get wrong shit from Amazon all the time.
What if you order?
the sally and you get the serenity
fun pot. Hey, hey, Susie,
how was orientation? It was great,
but I gotta tell you, my
teacher, she's got the juiciest
asshole I've ever seen in my life.
Like, I just, I can't get over it. It's just,
it's just shining.
And part of what bothers me here is, like,
according to their press release,
they describe educating kids as
quote, commercial service sector applications.
So, uh,
I hate this country.
Yeah, so Dr. Mark Beeler,
that's the superintendent guy we were talking about.
Beeler's been trying to fucking deal with, like, parents yelled at him over this shit.
And so he had to put out a statement and gave more newspaper interviews late last week.
He said, Robotics is not manufactured companion dolls.
He's like, you hear him yelling about it, which is the sex robot companies down the hall from the parallel.
So did people, like, stop thinking that robots were good enough for sex?
My thing is, like, did they do just making too many sex robots and to figure out something else to do with them?
I feel like they just unloaded a truck of sex dolls by convincing politicians this will solve the teacher shortage.
For the record, you can give a robot.
of pussy and a brain. You know what I mean? There's nobody stopping you from doing that.
Like, you can, they could be multi, like, I'm just saying the coach, the, the PE coach could benefit
from this too if we're thinking about everybody. Yeah, there's no reason the school district couldn't
make extra money by like letting the dog teach all day. Yeah. And then,
and then forming out of services at night. Trucker, yeah. It's got to be a turnpike with truckers.
It just means well, women aren't getting hurt. You know what I mean? Or paid. All right.
Yeah. So, uh, at Beeler, this poor guy, uh, I honestly feel bad for this Beeler guy.
I mean, he's the Miko here from him. I think it's also important to realize that technologies can be utilized across a variety of, we'll call them genres.
My phone, my computer, I would certainly look up inappropriate information. I could also watch a church service or learn how to fix an air conditioner on my car.
Right. So it was just like kind of like saying, we might have hired a sex offender to drive the school bus, but is the bus not on time?
And like to me like the fact that there's sex robots I do find hilarious, but that's not the reason I'm opposed to this at all because I'm not a prude or anything.
I don't like I don't have a problem with sex robots.
I'm probably saying they're great.
I do think if you try to replace all human connection with a sex robot, that's pretty sad.
It's the same reason I think trying to replace a teacher with you.
It's like a teacher is not just a head that spouts information that can be replaced by a speaker.
Correct.
That is correct. Is that controversial? No, it's not controversial. I would say, I mean, I'm not a teacher, but my wife was one and I would like to think I listened to her at least three times in my fucking life. And one of the skills a teacher has to have is, and I know that they purport to be able to do this. I'm aware that they purport to be able to do this. I just don't buy it. One of the skills that teachers, especially of young children, have to have is knowing that the way I teach this subject,
this way is going to work on Maria, but Bobby doesn't learn that same way. And so I'm going to have
to kind of either figure out a way for this information to get across to everybody, or maybe I take
some one-on-one time with Bobby. Bobby needs a little of this. Maybe Bobby needs to go outside to
take his test, whatever. And that's a huge skill, and that's a fucking human skill, because a robot
is only going to look at things in binary, one-zero, one-zero, one-zero, one-zero-one. That's
literally what they do. They don't have empathy. And you need to. You need to.
empathy to be a teacher at pretty much any level, but I would say most importantly, K through
eight, at least, you know, when the kids are really developing and like those times are so
important for who they're going to become, you know, and dude, I dedicated the first book that
changed my life, me, Trey and Drew wrote, the liberal redneck manifesto. I dedicated that book
to my second grade teacher.
but I dedicated my portion of the book to her because when we were in second grade, I wasn't a bad,
she recognized that like, oh, he's not a bad kid.
He's just different.
He's very creative.
Like, he's creative and he thinks differently.
And she straight up, like in second grade, she signed my yearbook.
Can't wait to see you on Saturday Night Live one day.
And she was so encouraging of me.
And she's the one that told me, she said, hey, you're really creative.
they have this thing called the Young Authors Award in Walker County, which is the biggest, I'm bragging on my second grade self, which is the biggest county, which is the biggest county in Georgia is Walker County.
This thing called the Young Authors Award, and she said, I really think you should write something and send it in to them.
And I wrote a science fiction, I mean, I guess you would call it a novella because it was very short, but I fucking won. I won that thing.
And I already kind of knew that's what I wanted to do.
But her seeing that in me and encouraging me to do that changed the rest of my life.
A robot would not have done that.
I would be different.
And some people are like, God damn, we wish you had a robot.
Yeah, I mean, like, teachers, like, most of the time just socializing kids.
Like, that's not how we talk to each other.
Put it out.
Is it his turn to do that?
No.
It's like, it's like that, you know, we don't know my kids that young.
So I wanted to
Like the
I do feel bad for like beeler
But but like honestly like
You know I don't object to the sex robot part of it
I could see this outrage coming
Because I wasn't born yesterday
I don't worry how you meant like Americans react
To stuff like this
It's crazy
He explained that Sally's features were decided
In consultation with students
Who said it would quote be freaking creepy
If Sally were just ahead
Which was an option
So they opted for Sally with a body
And ahead
But so there are other
option was like like on future rachia richard nixon just sitting on the fucking that would be so odd those
kids every single one of those kids would be a school shooter yes but they also were like
that didn't but so they didn't have to like make it let me let me find this for you okay
there's the is the let me try uh he doesn't even have to have a body for that if we're going that
far just have it come out of the loudspeaker so they didn't like they chose not to make it uh
the kids asked for it to be
not just ahead, but also
they asked the kids to help design what it looked
like. Let me quote here from the New York Times.
The Salamaca City School District in New York
wanted to bring an AI powered robot
to the classroom. The superintendent turned
to members of the student government.
They helped in design nearly every detail.
It would be a female between 16 and 24
years old. Display a lighthearted,
positive, and humble personality and have
pale silicone flesh with long, dark
hair and thin eyebrows.
So, this company's had a lot of
These two companies, I should say,
RealBiotics chief operating officer
currently is a guy named Matt McMullen.
He used to run a Las Vegas-based
company called Simulcra.
Of course he came from Vegas.
RealBotics, which used to be based in Toronto,
is formerly known as Tokens.com,
which made an extreme pivot from crypto
to humanoid robots after they acquired Simulcra
and some financing bullshit.
So Simulchra was attempting to leverage its position
as a creator of realistic sex dolls
to break into the AI-enabled robot business.
So they've like, take what they've learned from sex dolls and try to figure out what else they can do with these.
And then so McMullen, by the way, the real dolls guy, he launched his business in 1997 by teaching himself the skills necessary to make possible life-like figures following a job at a Halloween company where he learned to make monster masks.
It was all of creatively rewarding for me, so I feel like I had more to say as an artist.
So, and one of the reasons he had to sell his sex robot company to robotics was he closed his seed round in 2020 and another.
funding around in 2023, both of which included investments from a controversial crypto billionaire
named Arthur Hayes, who pled guilty to failing to establish an anti-money laundering program as
CEO of a Seychelles-based crypto trading platform Bitmex. So a guy used to make Halloween masks,
uses skills making masks to start making sex robots, wanted to branch out into other shit,
but he took a bad investment from a scam artist who was doing crypto money laundering shit and went to
prison. So then he had to sell to a crypto,
company. It was like, hey, let's make your sex robots into teachers.
Walla, you got sex dolls teaching class in western New York.
Ain't that America?
You're like me, baby. Ain't that America?
Something to see.
I mean, God damn.
Little pink pusses for you and me.
That's great.
That's right there.
Sorry.
So the sex robot people thought they could skate by with this fucking scheme, like putting
sex dolls in front of kids, even though the kids weren't full because they actually
helped design his sex doll. And the parents were full because they figured it out immediately.
But you know, we figured out even faster than the parents were actual perverts. I want
to watch this clip of a guy who, as far as I can tell, doesn't have any kids involved in the school
system, but went to the school district meeting to talk like this about this.
I like the sailing room, but I just hope they don't take away all the teachers and
because they need their jobs. They got families and stuff. He's asking you to not
We need you on set right now.
He does leave my Paul Walterhouser.
He's like, this man's like, please do not
redeploy my valuable six robots in the other less
worthwhile industries such as teaching kids.
Now, like, I honestly apologize to this man because it seems
that it has heart right.
I agree with everything he's saying.
I agree with him.
It's in principle.
It's not his fault.
He gives off Quagmire vibes, right?
I know for sure.
I definitely thought he was about to say,
I'm against this, but if you're throwing him away,
don't just throw him away.
You know what I'm saying?
Tell me which dumpster you're going to put them in first.
Hell, I can do it for you.
So, I want to say.
I told you the top before they pulled a poll list program,
like Friday or over the weekends.
It was very recently.
But the reason they gave is not a horrifying aspect of this I possibly consider.
Let me read to you.
The school district said Friday was working on, quote,
enhanced student data privacy agreements with the education department.
which would ensure that appropriate privacy protections are in place and incorporating input from our community as important part of the process.
I even thought about the data part here.
Is the robot reporting back to headcores of what it's seeing with its eyes and speaking with its mouth and recording?
I always assume.
But yeah, but the whole rest of it was so stupid.
I'd even thought about that.
They're actually, they might be filming fucking kids.
Yeah, right.
That's so funny you say that.
Like, yeah, you're right.
That does seem like they're hiding the ball a little bit.
know, like, everything else is so comically stupid that I didn't even think about the one part
that, like, could be real gnarly, like, real fucking gnarly.
The, uh, so, and we talked about, like, a teacher's socialized kids for a little bit,
because your teacher's kind of like your, your first stand-in for a boss or, like,
authority figure is not your parent, right?
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Somebody you got to listen to that's not blood related to you.
So like, so this Sally robot, are the kids supposed to call this thing Miss Sally and say yes, ma'am to it?
Right.
Because I, right.
That would bother me.
Because I feel like if you're teaching the kid to obey a robot, I need like, I need before a robot can teach the kids, we need to like have like a gang jump in ceremony where the kids have to beat one of these things to death with a fucking hammer to learn that it's not human.
Right.
If I ever see my son say thank you to the kiosk at McDonald's, I'm beating the shit out of him.
right on the spot.
But yeah, I mean, that's a great point too, because it's like you want them, like, part of
the reason to go to school too is for those kids to learn how to be respectful in an environment
that's not your home.
You know what I mean?
Like, my mom's whole thing was she used to always be like, I don't give a shit how you act
at home as long as you're good in school and as long as when we go out in public, you're good.
She said, because I can just ignore you at home.
but how you are out there is how I'm reflected.
You know what I mean?
And I was actually like up in elementary school, I was the greatest student.
All I wanted to do was fucking learn.
Literally the only thing happened to me, which this is a tale was oldest time.
I moved schools in middle school and like I was the new kid and I was funny and I used that to make friends.
And then, boy, once it worked, you know, it was over.
Right.
Right.
Well, validation is important part of every human psyche.
So when you start getting validation from a robot,
I think we're seeing Chad GPD psychosis.
We know what that looks like.
And that's to what the first graders is getting it.
That's a great point too because, like, they've pretty much proven with all of these models,
like they're sycophants.
Every single one of them is a sycophant.
Whatever you put into it, it goes, that's brilliant.
That's the best idea ever.
That's no way to teach.
Sometimes you got a kid telling you one plus one plus one is three.
You need someone to go, all right, you fucking little Terrence Howard, dumbass.
You don't need someone to go, I've never thought about it.
it like that, Billy, but maybe you are
on to a new type of math.
La la la la la la. What's
the odyssey about? Well, it's about Honda
minivans. Kovat's like, well, technically, that's
true, like Google says.
Elon Musk is making a better one.
Stay tuned.
So, be a little
woke here for a second. I want to like
I mentioned the school district
is on the Alleghenia Reservation, which is
Seneca Nation territory.
Let me quote, here, Sally was needed to
address equity issues in Salamanca City
the superintendent said, because students
they are often missed out on the latest technology.
So this school district, going back
a couple of decades, had low graduation rates.
I'm on the native kids, which the graduation rates
have more than doubled in the last decade or so
because they become nationally recognized
for STEM stuff.
They have like certifications for drone pilot licensing.
And they were like 3D printing masks
for the community during the pandemic,
which they're doing what you should do
when you have a lack of resources, which is partnering
with tech companies, I guess,
to get free stuff in exchange for being pilot programs.
I'm a quote here from Beeler.
If this looked like a golden retriever and did the exact same thing,
I don't think we'd have as many people here complaining.
But because it looks like a human,
everybody seems to have some other excitement about it
and encouraged by it or have some other concerns.
So like you say,
that people are more excited about it and more angry about it
than they would be if it didn't look like this.
This is coming up with both angles.
That's going to be, I don't even think about that.
It's like eventually we're going to get to
black robots are taking the white robots jobs.
It's going to come to that.
Oh, me and Trent talked about before.
Like, they've done experiments where they line up robots to do different tasks.
And when people select the robots to do the tasks,
they pick like the brown robots to mow the lawn and the white robots to tutor their kids.
Yeah, it's the same fucking, you know, it's the same software.
Apparently this stuff cannot be defeated by technology.
So.
Nobody's in, at least a real person doesn't get hurt.
That's the only plus side.
That's the literal only plus side.
Yeah, that's fair enough.
So this program fell apart in the media,
but they're absolutely going to regroup because there's a bunch of money behind this.
And more than money, there's like a diseased ideology behind it,
which we need to replace humans as quickly as possible because robots do not complain.
And robots don't do anything they're not supposed to do, right?
So here is Lyndon McMahon.
Which is why they're great for sex robots, but not for anything else.
Yeah, make it do whatever pervert and stuff you want and leave the rest of us out of it, right?
Right.
But here's Trump's secretary.
of education, Lyndon McMahon, who was talking
of this robotics experiment on
Fox News this week.
She's big.
We talked about alpha schools, which is an AI charter school.
It also sucks before.
She's pissed on talking about alpha schools and
talking to talk about real robotics. You can play this video.
She just have to be trained in AI.
Parents should be involved.
They should make sure that they're
comfortable, you know, with the
kind of curriculum that has been presented to their
children, as with everything.
But AI is here to stay.
We need to embrace it.
we can't let China lead an AI.
We need to have the breakthroughs and AI.
If you don't let a sex robot teach your kids, it means you want China to win.
You want China to win.
Also, dude, I'm sorry, but like, I guess I can't take anybody in this administration seriously.
But I saw that woman stand by her husband, Vince McMahon, when in K-Fabe, he had just impregnated his own daughter.
and now she is telling me about fucking robots for my kids?
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
New rule going forward in the Constitution.
What amendment are we up to?
How many are there?
26, I think, so like that.
I thought it was 25% might that.
27th.
All right.
27th Amendment.
If you've ever received a stone cold stunner,
you were to be treated as if you were not born on this fucking soil.
you don't get to run.
And I'm sorry.
There's been some good people take it too,
but they have to make that sacrifice
so that this never happens again.
Yeah, and we're running out of time
so I have time to show this video,
but we showed a clip of Slim Deng Ma'an talking about AAB before,
and when she first started talking about it,
she repeatedly called it A1.
Yeah.
Because she just read it and didn't know what the fuck she was talking about.
So if you're wondering if these people have your kids' best interest in heart,
she wants your kids to be taught by something she doesn't know the name of.
So, yeah.
The elites want your kids to be fucking morons.
They want to drive teachers out of the field by making it so hopeless a stress break.
Because their kids ain't going to these schools.
Because their fucking kids ain't going to these schools.
Yeah.
They'll send their kids.
The schools they send their kids to will not have this technology.
They'll learn from books and do worksheets and write essays by hand.
The one pathway, the working class people had to lift themselves up as being taken away from them as quickly as they can fucking do it.
I just wonder, like, was in the middle class a tempering?
necessity to win the Cold War?
It seems like that's the only time
it's the only time it doesn't it?
I mean, it really does seem like we went from
a feudal society, we left, and then came over
here, and then it was still very
much just slave master's slave
and work in person.
And then, yeah, right around
fucking your
30s, 40s, the depression ends.
All of a sudden, we've got these
commercials for these red corvettes
and stuff and white picket fence.
and all of a sudden we're like middle class whatever and then the whole deal with the russians is over and
they're like all right now it's just back to one and fucking two because that's all we need as long as
two can serve one that's all we need baby fuck the three right here in the middle we need one and we need two
if we have three it starts getting muddy just like our political system can't give them too
many goddamn options yeah i mean i do like it it does drive me crazy because you you pay you
pay attention like on the 60s and 70s you got to you know you're you're
or 40s, 50s, 16, and 70s, you had to forstall, like, a socialist revolution by giving the plebs, like, colleges and roads and loans to buy houses and cars, right?
Then the Soviet Union collapses, it's like, nah, we don't do that shit anymore, right?
Yeah, right.
All right, so, I get your plugs in, Corey.
Corey writes for you.com.
That is my substack where I am currently number 13 in the top 50 of the comedy charts up there with dudes like Garrison Keeler and Dave Barry and W.combo Bell and,
and all sorts of people who are better than me, but my fans are really great.
Way better than me.
But I'm just happy to be in their company, and that's all because people go to
CoreyWritesforyou.com and subscribe where you can read and listen to everything that I do for free.
Currently, I'm in the middle of a Southern crime drama called Here We Rest.
Episodes 1 through 3 are up in both readable format and I narrated them.
Episode chapter four has been written.
I'm just doing a second draft on it, and then it'll be out to you.
But I've written in between these, I'm also dropping other short stories and other essays,
so it's not like you're having to wait for a bunch of shit.
Corey writes for you.com.
Also listen to Well Red.
Comes out every Wednesday, and listen to Putting on Airs.
It comes out every Friday.
And listen to Little House of the Dragon with me and my sister,
which is a House of the Dragon rewatch podcast,
which comes out on the Putting on Airs feed every Sunday.
day and listen to the Dallup Hollywood Hellscapes, which is my new show that I'm co-hosting.
So, yep.
Busy, boy.
You want to, you want to get any old clothes?
You want to sell the way you're on there?
Hey, I've lost like 28 pounds in the past eight weeks, so I'm about to have to get to,
no, I got to keep the fat clothes because we all know what time it is.
We know this thing's last time around the sun for me.
You can take out Trey's tour dates at Treycrouter.com.
You can get listening to Matt's.
podcast, good skews and the same audio feed
you find this on and go to
WeeklySkews.com slash
more for if you want to subscribe to the
bonus episodes of this show. Thank you guys
very much for watching and listening and we'll see you
next time.
Skew.
Skiw!
